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eliasbouchardslut · 1 minute
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Good morning !!! I hope u slept well good luck peeing in a cup today <3 🫡
the drug screening employees daydream about my powerful piss
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eliasbouchardslut · 11 hours
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okay goodnight i get to pee in a cup tomorrow for them to check for drugs . if anyone wants a sip before i give it to the testing center i'll save you some 👍
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eliasbouchardslut · 11 hours
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from tender is not a bad word by k.c cramm
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eliasbouchardslut · 11 hours
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hnnnggbnnngggg thinking of what kaj said to me today and feeling so stupefied like me? i'm that important? i mean something to someone?
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eliasbouchardslut · 11 hours
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i love marshall's so much like why is there a bag of uncooked pasta buried under a mountain of knockoff makeup
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eliasbouchardslut · 16 hours
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and i love when they IGNORE ME
i love asking people i love if they've fallen in love with anyone recently and doing a lil pose waiting for them to say me
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eliasbouchardslut · 16 hours
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i love asking people i love if they've fallen in love with anyone recently and doing a lil pose waiting for them to say me
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eliasbouchardslut · 16 hours
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POV I’m in ur ask box
the ask box has been very homoerotic today i'm having the time of my life
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eliasbouchardslut · 16 hours
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It sounds like you’ve got a nice little group of guard dogs vying for your attention sweetheart. I can just imagine you with three followers on leashes at your side. Can we all form a cuddle pile at the foot of your bed please please please please
(got so horny from hearing the phrase 'guard dogs vying for your attention' that i'm about to pass out) i think i hauve covid
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eliasbouchardslut · 16 hours
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now why did getting called sweetheart immediately make me horny. much to think about.
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eliasbouchardslut · 16 hours
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but yeah anyway i'm single
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eliasbouchardslut · 16 hours
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2 of my coworkers have covid if i get it too i swear to all that is holy i will be burying myself alive. a parting gift from that stupid fucking job
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eliasbouchardslut · 16 hours
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Girl, unlovable? You? You're literally so hot and so so beautiful and your brain is so huge and you have the best ideas constantly. Your smile is so sweet and your eyes are radiant and your whole being radiates an ethereal and joyous aura. And you have the most interesting interests, like Victorian flower language? That's literally so cool and probably impresses everyone who knows that it's your interest. Your sense of humour is wonderful. You're just all-around such a cool and impressive person and if I may be so bold I think horses of secret admirers are secretly waiting for their chance to make you theirs.
IM CRYINGGGGG oh my love this is so so sweet i highly doubt there's many people out there that want me to be theirs but the fact that you think so has me so so happy :') im going to treasure this ask so much i genuinely cannot thank you enough. its definitely been a really rough few weeks . thank you my sweetheart you are so appreciated
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eliasbouchardslut · 16 hours
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Oh also as respectfully as possible I'd also be your guard dog if you let me. I've got the knightly devotion to match and I don't mind having a collar put on me. I'm told I'm great at following commands and submitting.
ouughhhh please please please ive always wanted to have people there to protect me im blushing
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eliasbouchardslut · 19 hours
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who *wouldnt* fall in love with you honestly. im a gay guy but your candor and sweetness and overall sense of humor has ME swooning. youre a gem of a human being!
wait i'm in tears like legit this is gonna make me cry i've been feeling really unlovable lately and this made me feel so warm 🥹 like fr? me?
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eliasbouchardslut · 19 hours
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i love my mom she sounds like such a bitch on her work call rn but sofie is licking her hand while she's talking so it's hard to look badass with that going on
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eliasbouchardslut · 19 hours
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First anon here she's already got a scary guard dog back off (JOKE) (kind of)
anyone else mad horny rn
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