empathicstars

[empathicstars]

May Sarton, from Journal of a Solitude [ID in alt text]

#( the betazoid from vulcan. ) #( hologram. ) #[ SNIFFLES ]

[empathicstars]

In truth, Aella does not quite completely know how she got here. Standing over a PADD, displaying her failure clearly and cleanly for her fellow cadet — this is surely a disgrace she should harbor alone, as she harbors the many other disgraces of her life. But he, like many of the other humans she has met in her thus-so-far short time at the Academy, is personable and curious, and leaned over her PADD mostly without her prodding.

“I am relaxed,” she reports, because she is meant to be calm, and collected, but internally, she is, indeed, deeply concerned. Her marks on Vulcan had not been optimal... what if she fails out of human courses, too? Will that just solidify the truth she already knows — that there is, truly, no place for her, anywhere?

The trade he offers would be a good one, if only... “I am unsure I am apt enough at astrophysics to help you.” Anxiety builds up, a stacking of bricks in her throat, stomach. “Do you need any help with any language courses?”

❝          i  am  sure  you’re  not  the  first  person  who’s  got  a  bad  grade  writing  about  the  disappearance  of  the  Malurian  race.       you  need  to  relax,       seriously.          ❞       Jim  comments  as  his  gaze  goes  from  left  to  right  in  a  rhythm  while  reading  over  the  fellow  cadets’s  speculations.       quite  frankly,       he’s  not  sure       WHY       their  instructor  was  this  ruthless  in  the  comments  he  left  on  the  assignment,       the  PADD  displays  a  plethora  of  strikethroughs,       red  text  adorning  the  body  of  her  ideas  like  perpetual  laser  beams.       ❝          i  can  help  you.       it’ll  cost  you  —  of  course,       but  i  can     .  .  .       if  you  ask  nicely.       i  got  a  perfect  grade  so     .  .  .       i  help  you  with  this,       you  help  me  out  with  astrophysics.       a  good  trade,       right     ?          ❞

@empathicstars ★ |  gets a starter !

#v: protostar #darehearts #[ YEAAAAAAAAAAAH HERE WE GO WOOOHOOOO ]

[empathicstars]

Hey guys, sorry for being MIA on here! I was in the hospital and it kind of took me out for a while even after I got out. I’m okay though, and trying to catch up on drafts and what-not! If you haven’t already added me on Discord, please do, for ease of keeping up with the things we’re doing: saccharineserena. Thank y’all! 💖

#( out of language. ) #( update. )

[empathicstars]

I am making a mistake (bringing another one of my OCs to Tumblr)

#( out of language. ) #[ they’re a cat.... a shapeshifter cat.... does anyone want a shapeshifter cat.......... (yes they’re main star trek verse JLKFJAK) ]

[empathicstars]

The words were an explosion, though they came softly, gently. They rammed her full-force all the same, and Aella found herself caught out of breath, frozen and still in the admittance. You are my friend. You. You. You.

... Me.

Was it cruel, to be this child’s friend? To be what no one had ever wished her to be?

This was the second time in the last minute or so Fox had called them friends, but it was still as cataclysmic as the first. Best friend. You are my friend.

She breathed out, slowly.

“I am your friend.” Aella said as though testing the words, for the first time.

A pause.

“I am not sure I would be a very good one, Fox.”

✖ YOU MAKE PEOPLE SMILE ( empathicstars ) 

People smiling at her — laughing, happily, due to her. It was an image she could not quite imagine. Aella froze where she stood, face only of confusion, completely marred with confusion. What did this child see that could ever lead her to believe she had friends — that she had anything other than people begrudgingly allowing her presence?

    For a long time, Aella did not speak. She did not speak because she did not know how to explain the gap between what Fox saw and what was. She did not speak because she could find nothing to say. She was silent, perhaps, for a full minute. A minute of quiet between them. Immeasurable, and wide, until,, finally… 

   “I am sure you have many friends, Fox.” 

      Fox counted the spots on the floor while Aella remained silent. Unsure if she had again said the wrong thing. She was good at that, saying what wasn’t wanted. If she were in a comic book character or some other sort of superhero, she wouldn’t need a power. She could simply crush her enemies by saying the wrong thing and they would be done for. It wasn’t such a bad gift, she supposed, even if it did leave her lonely at times.

      “I have a friend, yes,” Fox confirmed sheepishly. She had other friends too, but they only came to her in dreams. More ghost than anything aboard the ship. “You are my friend.” Presumptuous, she may have been, but she liked spending time with Aella and was interested by what she did, how she worked.

      Her gap-toothed grin faltered only slightly. “At least, I think of you as my friend.”

#vuulpecula #v: supernova #[ i’m back!!!! after years!!!! and i still want to do their first meeting thread(TM) JLKFALJK ]

[empathicstars]

She was quiet, for a while. The silence was no fault of his, for Aella was always silent — it was the speaking that was unusual, and difficult, and hard to entirely form.

But, in a way, she understood him. She understood what it was to desperately wish to be something you were not. She knew what it was to work for an ideal that others would find too ambitious or impossible. Cadet Data, unlike her, did not have shame. She had never told anyone it was her goal to be Vulcan — but she lived their life, silently subservient to the Kir’Shara, despite the fact that it had never been written for her.

“I am not other humanoids,” she murmured, in response. “I cannot give you responses that are not mine. But... if your programming does not include the wish to grow beyond it... would you not already have grown beyond it, with just the wish?”

The kaleidoscopic range of emotions that momentarily manifested in Aella’s countenance were impossible for the android the interpret. Had he said something offensive? Or had his aspiration simply rendered her confused?

    ‘I do not want to be nothing but a sophisticated machine in human form,’ Data replied promptly, his yellow eyes focusing on the library building that was located at a distance of 25.3 meters. 24.6 meters. 23.9 meters… ‘I want to become more than just a collection of circuits and subprocessors. I want to grow beyond my programming. Therefore, I have decided to believe that I am a person, because if I were simply a machine, I could be nothing else, and I find that difficult to accept.’

    The android averted his gaze from the library building and observed the Betazoid, wondering what emotions she was experiencing. Did his ambition to evolve frighten her? He knew that many people were already afraid of his superiority, and he could imagine that his resolution to evolve would elicit a disquieting sensation in them.

    ‘Do you think my goal might be too… ambitious, Cadet Moore?’ he asked softly. ‘I have never been granted the opportunity to share this particular version of my aspiration with anyone, until now. So, I cannot extrapolate the precise response this revelation will have on other humanoids.’

#[ JKL;FDKL;AFKL;DA LITERALLY ] #[ GOD I love this thread this thread is SO so so so good I love YOU you are SO cool and... yes ] #mytimingisdigital #v: protostar

[empathicstars]

She exists on the edges of the pages, in the spaces between the words, her name unwritten except in riddles…

– Jeff VanderMeer, Ambergris: Shriek: An Afterword

#( the betazoid from vulcan. ) #( written words. )

[empathicstars]

@starfleetsxvulcan

It was foolish of her to ever believe that anything could ever be different. Each morning, the twin suns rose — each night, they set. The ocean pulled forth and back, a continuous rock, a rotation eternal.

And everywhere Aelliana Moore went, she was hated.

Adults did not say anything, but their indifference and their gaze was enough to speak volumes into her. The children’s cruelty, however, was more overt.

Here she lays on the ground, PADD and books splayed before her, bag open and mostly emptied. The foot of a new classmate — whose name she did not know — hovered over one of her hands, outstretched on the ground as though it had gone to reach her fallen things.

“Betazoid bones are much more brittle than Vulcans’,” he says, conversationally, as though he is not taunting but simply stating a fact. To add insult to injury, his words come in Federation Standard. Why use his language with an outsider, after all?

It was not different now that she was in Shi’Kahr. Aelliana closed her eyes, tilted her chin into her chest, her forehead against the pavement. It was as it had always been.

Pressure on her wrist. Shadows from others watching, complacent.

There was no point in fighting it. No point at all...

#starfleetsxvulcan #v: white dwarf #child abuse tw #bullying tw

[empathicstars]

Sue zhao/Ryan O'Connell

#( the betazoid from vulcan. ) #( written words. )

[empathicstars]

@lietwice

It is wandering of an aimless fashion that has led her here — to the moderately-sized clothing shop on Deep Space 9, apparently run by a Cardassian. She knows only because her fellow communications officers have the proclivity of gossip. Most of the time, she tunes out their chatterings — but she’d overheard enough to understand that a Cardassian was on the station, and that Cardassian ran a clothing shop, and here it is, right before her eyes.

She is not going to go inside. There is no reason to do so; she is almost always on-duty, and thus, wears her uniform. Even now, not on-duty, she has clothes that are adequate to her. Long, to her wrists and covering her shoes, pale white and modest. It suits her fine, and there is no need to venture outside of what she does not know or need.

But... the clothing is unique and interesting. There’s one blazer of bright colors, mixed in a way that she personally finds gaudy... she steps forward, just within the threshold of the store, to contemplate it. None of these clothes look anything like Cardassian fashion...

#liedtwice #v: gamma cassiopeiae #[ confetTI!!! WAHOOO I FINALLY DID IT WAHOOOO ]

[empathicstars]

Aella: would rather die than talk to someone

me:

#( out of language. ) #( the betazoid from vulcan. ) #[ JLKFDAJLFDLAJK I’M SOBBING I.............. ]

[empathicstars]

The tightness of his lips was fooling no one — especially when the person he was attempting to fool was horrifically bound with the knowledge (or, as her Mentor had always believed, hallucination) of other’s feelings — but she commented on it not. She waited for him to leave her standing there, as everyone always did, cradling her books and wrapped in his emotions until their distance was enough for her to draw breath easily again.

And it was surely going to happen, because he was annoyed, now. Quite obviously — she had bothered him, interrupted his evening.

She waited, guarded herself, staring at the ground.

That’s, um. That’s a lot of books.

Attention slowly flited back upwards. He was... talking to her? A wish to glance behind her shoulder to ensure that there was no one else to whom he could be speaking was nearly overcoming, but she did not succumb — she stared, instead, in muted shock.

“Y... yes,” she murmured. “Ah— no... I...”

It was puerile, what she was doing, after all. Embarrassing — she found herself staring at the ground again, hugging the books to her chest as though they would protect her, in some manner. Did she really have to divulge it to a stranger... that she was doing something so personal, so—...?

But he was desperate. Desperate to focus on something other than the barrage in his brain. How could she so such cruelty, so as not to allow that?

“I am... reading on biochemistry... and on... missing people’s reports, from... 1999...” She couldn’t do it. She couldn’t say for my mother. This was the closest she could come, at this exact moment.

Wow, it was that obvious, huh? (The jab of surprise, and then its dismissal: guarded, now he had to get through this interaction without spewing his guts everywhere, hooray.) TK stacked the books hurriedly, faked a smile that looked more like a tight pull of his lips, "Yeah." Yeah, he was fine. "I didn't see you. Sorry."

Lifted up again, to hand the books back to this lady, on the retreat. Getting out of there was his number one priority. He had made that his number one priority getting out of the firehouse, too, and he'd done something stupid (stupid! That annoyance, again) like quit. Drama queen. What was he going to do, go back grovelling? They'd already replaced him.

He didn't -

"That's, um." A last minute change of mind, going back to try to figure out some way back to this lady who had asked him if he was okay, 'cause someone caring if he was okay was better than going home to be silent and stare at a ceiling. "That's a lot of books. You looking for something?" He tilted his head, to read the title of the book on top of this stack, like he might know something about the topic. "I'm a pretty good finder."

#[ ASTER!!!!!! PICKS YOU UP AND SPINS YOU AROUND!!!!!! #HAPPIEST OF BIRTHDAYS!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO MUCH I HOPE IT IS ALL SO AMAZING FOR YOU!!!!!!! YOU ARE THE BEST!!!!!!!!!!! #okay modern verse it is!!! he he he he.... i can’t waIT. and you chose the ANGSTY option. oh bOY oh boy oh b— ] #v: serpens caput #parameddic #bookbound spiral

[empathicstars]

It’s difficult to explain so i stay quiet

#( the betazoid from vulcan. ) #( written words. )

[empathicstars]

The night was one of average; Aella was exhausted, combing through books neatly aligned on shelves, looking for the scrap of knowledge that yet alluded her through every mode she could find. There were things, she had learned recently, that even the internet had yet to document — and perhaps they lived, instead, bound in paper and glue and leather and plastic.

So here she was, picking up books on relevant subjects as though she were gathering shells in a beach bag, but the treasure here was knowledge yet unattained, not shimmering shards.

So preoccupied, was she, with what was yet to learn that she stumbled headlong into a fellow library-goer. There she stilled, staring in silent shock as he bent to retrieve her volumes.

The emotions that came with him were a tsunami — emptiness, then waves stacked against one another, cresting and collapsing all at once. Grays, littered with spears of red fear and green grief, an undercurrent of orange anger holding the entire wall of water upright. It was as though he had just experienced something horrific, and was drowning in the weight. Now, so was she.

The wind was knocked out of her lungs momentarily. When she spoke, she managed an, “N... no, do not... worry. ...” Only the universe itself knew why, horribly, she continued. “... Are you... alright?”

... Why would she say that! What had she done!

@empathicstars / starter call.

This was stupid.

He was spiralling. TK drew out the sixth book from this library shelf and flipped it over and found that it, too, was impossible to concentrate on, the words not processing through his brain despite the fact he was on number sixteen of the 'distracting activities' list he'd found on Google and he was fast running out of things he could try. A slow, controlled breath, wavering only a little, towards the end.

The words still did not jump out at him. He stared very hard, located the year 1848 in the blurb, and put the book back (historical fiction was historically interesting to someone, he was sure).

Maybe he'd just quit for the day. Maybe he'd go home and lie down and find some music and just. Try to zone out. Maybe he didn't need to be here. This was stupid.

He put the book back, perhaps a touch more viciously than he necessarily needed to, and turned sharply around so he cou-- "Oh."

Oh, he'd walked right into someone. Someone who had, herself, dropped her books (books? papers, anyway).

"Sh-- sorry. I got 'em."

#[ you are soooooooooooooooooo real for putting Aella in a library. like you know me SOOOOoooooooooooo well. you are SOOOOOOOO right. GOD. #I’M SO EXCITED FOR THIS AHHHHHHH ] #parameddic #bookbound spiral #v: ?? #[ can’t decide if i want just Normal Modern Verse or Aella Trapped in the Modern World.... lmk if you have any thoughts Aster ]

[empathicstars]

Heya, my loves! I’m gonna dip my toes back into RP here on Aella, see how it goes! I’ll be running around following some new blogs in the star trek rp / all starfleet personnel tags. Feel free to DM with any questions/concerns/etc.! I don’t know much about Strange New Worlds, but I’ll try to get a new verse set up for that universe tonight! 💖

#( out of language. ) #all starfleet personnel #star trek rp #[ kind of an unofficial like. blog promo almost? like a. pokes world. hello. i am Here(TM) ]

[empathicstars]

Hello tags! We're the USS Lovelace — a Discord based roleplay group set in the Star Trek universe. We follow the crew of the eponymous Lovelace on its deep space mission.

Things to know about us!

We are always accepting new members!

No skeletons are used here — you decide what sort of character best fits the starship role you're interested in.

We accept canon characters from any era of Trek, original characters (including homebrew alien races), and crossover characters from other fandoms. Honestly, the sky's the limit! There are several options available for reworking characters to fit this setting.

Multiple senior staff positions are currently available! Check out our roster below.

We're a low pressure group with light activity requirements.

Extensive Star Trek knowledge is not needed! A basic familiarity with the setting is more than enough.

Interested?

Read our rules and guidelines here.

Read our available crew roster here.

Join our Discord server here. You're welcome to join just to poke around and ask questions, as well!

#( out of language. ) #( self promo. ) #( promotions. ) #[ come play with us!!! ]

[empathicstars]

Discord Thread Tracker Bot

Do you roleplay in a group server on Discord? Do you wish you had a quick way to keep track of all your threads in various channels? If that's you, please allow me to introduce Thread Tracker, affectionately nicknamed Titi! This is a handy little bot created by my friends and Discord co-mods, @rainofthestorm (programming) and @soltrek (idea and artwork). We've been using it in our server, and it's been incredible for helping us stay on top of our writing.

Thread Tracker allows you to register and track certain channels in a Discord server as roleplay threads, and can generate a list of all your tracked threads along with who last replied. If the last poster wasn't you, that thread will be bolded, letting you see at a glance what you owe. You can also sort your threads into categories based on your needs.

You can even create a to-do list for things like starters you still need to write, plots you need to work out, or anything else that you may need a reminder for!

A couple more notes about Thread Tracker:

It works on an individual server level, meaning it will not be aware of any tracked threads in a different server.

It works with both standard Discord channels and forum posts.

It works with Tupperbox! However, you will need to register the names of your Tuppers as muses with the bot so that it correctly recognizes when a thread is your turn or not.

Thread Tracker is now available on Top.gg!

Feel free to add it to your Discord servers and take it for a spin! Once Titi is invited, send tt!help to see a list of commands and start setting things up. If you have any questions, concerns, or feedback, please reach out to Rain or to me -- I'll pass it along to her.

#[ MY BABBBYYYYY ] #( out of language. )