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env0writes · 16 hours
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Idle Steps 3.23.24 “Dreams of a Love that I Know"
I’ve been dreaming of a lover Made of bits of ones before How they all fit nice together When puzzle-placed upon the floor Bit by bit they lock in place Like a thought-made frankenstein Though the heart is ever pounding Oh, how I’d love to make her mine Oh, moon – oh, stars Sweet heavens above That tooth of mine is gnawing, teething, craving For that damning contemptible thing called love I've been thinking of the good times All the moments held so dear Is that pain that oft accompanies That downfall – do I fear? Should I be ripped to ribbons Tie me tightly ‘round your heart ‘Fore you say, “I love you so” Though truth be told, I can’t recall being told that part Thereupon my morning rise Greater is the wakeful pain Losing dreams As lovers lost to time, in youth – the same I have been longing, nay, been yearning Whilst learning to love myself, just as As I approach mid-third-decade The facade of youth, like morning fog fades whereas The me I made in middle school Remains there cut, as the rug Arms outstretched in cruciform So lover, me, do hug
@env0writes C.Buck   Ko-Fi & Venmo: @Zenv0 Support Your Local Artist!   Photo by @env0
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env0writes · 16 hours
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Idle Steps 3.22.24 “Feather Fall"
Brown speckled goose-feather floating Purposelessly through the pre-rehearsed motions Rooftop dancer, answer me this Are you lost, are you falling, or found? Angels fall to devilry upon the ground Does evil then corrupt your downy hue? And as I rise these high-rise steps– Do I achieve divinity, where freedom’s to be found? Will I crash down so gracefully in absence of a sound? In racing stripes and spots of white and brown Flapped uselessly in discordant-dance-descent Like you, upon the ground, discarded, shall I be found Denouement, disclose this dire feeling; gloating Should ought as I, be as light as that dappled-weathered-feather
@env0writes C.Buck   Ko-Fi & Venmo: @Zenv0 Support Your Local Artist!   Photo by @env0
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env0writes · 4 days
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Idle Steps 3.21.24 “Sunday Was For Feasting"
White bone wood balm Paler than the droughted palms Dreaded, unfed’ed Weary weak appraisal Arrival on most high Elated, delayed and held up Caravans halt No passage, no river crossing No life crossing, no passover White bone-wood palm Sun bleached, white washed Bulldozed over on sleepless nights What driftwood will wash ashore? From undrinkable water To unlivable land Is this the promise? As written, as planned?
@env0writes C.Buck   Ko-Fi & Venmo: @Zenv0 Support Your Local Artist!   Photo by @env0
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env0writes · 5 days
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Idle Steps 3.20.24 “Late to Work”
The body will rest Whether you like it or not Should you plan it Or demand it Allot it the time The body will rest To reset as you choose The sleep you might lose Will accrue and will strike you A lot of the time The body will rest So do you best To make your time So that you might make your peace Allot yourself time Lest you grave oversleep Watch as you weep As the day passed you by No matter, you try To linger awake Sleep will take you As the reaper The sleeper Waits for no one
@env0writes C.Buck   Ko-Fi & Venmo: @Zenv0 Support Your Local Artist!   Photo by @env0
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env0writes · 6 days
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Idle Steps 3.19.24 “Wrong Right Turn”
Lace up your boots, boy Crimson and white Wear ‘em to school where you’ll show ‘em who's Right Put up a fight, when the man is little and brown Smile in their face as you force them to frown You’ve got the world, bully, boy, bully boy– you And at the slightest of sleights you will beat them all blue So pull up them boots, laced up tight and up tall! Show the world Rightly, who should beck at your call Take to the streets with your leather, your chains, and your studs Stipe every rules of the Stars with your buds Bigger the crowd grows, camaraderie loose You stand on by as they bring out the noose Small is the feeling inside of your chest Little-boy drummer goes rat-a-tat-tat, trying his best March to their step boy, you’ve laced them up locked No turning back now, the exits are all blocked Don’t say a word, don’t show a sliver of fear Whether you do or you don’t snarl or jeer Whether you lace or unlace those boots The dye won’t wash from your hands, no matter dressed up suits So whilst the world burns around you Riddled with magazine-burst words that slew Look around in the aftermath–at the world you destroy
@env0writes C.Buck   Ko-Fi & Venmo: @Zenv0 Support Your Local Artist!   Photo by @env0
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env0writes · 8 days
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Idle Steps 3.13.24 "Monopoly Money”
Cream of the crop Run and run ‘til I drop The gears all around me Show no sign they’ll stop Am I the wheat or the chaff? Who will have the last laugh? Scoop a handful of water But not tasting a drop Milk spoils but cream flows Through my fingers like nobody knows The water wheel turning Each rotten-noséd year No expiry date Empty pantry; food late All of this action– With what left to have for it; save the sweat on our brows That alone, droplet, mine Part of this flow; feast to dine When precious time, so little to whine We’re all trapped in the maze of it, desperately mum, desperately mime
@env0writes C.Buck   Ko-Fi & Venmo: @Zenv0 Support Your Local Artist!   Photo by @env0
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env0writes · 11 days
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Idle Steps 3.17.24 “Remains”
This is not a threat Nor a promise nor a plea Not a bargain not a sigh Not a happenstance said free This is not an oath Nor aphorism nor prayer Not a hope not a beg Not whisper not a swear Solemnly spoken In cool-wintered head leveled Eyes fixed through the hills Towards the horizon-expanse The great bow and bend of the land Simply stated To no one in particular But I I was there I was listening And I will be missed When the me who spoke those words Will no longer be here And some other me So diamond-faceted over stress and time Remains
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env0writes · 11 days
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Idle Steps 3.16.24 “XXX.99”
Never skimp on shoes and sheets And mattresses I make sure to only buy The best I can afford Clearance sale when my shoes are worn through My feet are bleeding And my sleep is suffering My waking hours I have long forgotten “The American Dream” For even in what little sleep I can afford I do not dream In night nor day So little left is there to skimp As towards my labor, I ardently limp
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env0writes · 11 days
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Idle Steps 3.15.24 “Isn't It Grand?”
Expectations fall short of count To what amount(s) Little less for much more Spring-leaf hopes Looking for green Mean-eyed frantic Trans-oceanic Waiting for the pot to boil The silt to turn to soil Water turn to oil And everything To add up
@env0writes C.Buck   Ko-Fi & Venmo: @Zenv0 Support Your Local Artist!   Photo by @env0
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env0writes · 13 days
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Idle Steps 3.14.24 “Avi Maria”
Give me a panic in the midst of the night Phone call, ring– answer “Are you alright?” Listen, are you sure? Heart leapt through my chest Do my best, listen to her Sure ended my rest With a start, with a fright Though by your voice, I am the most blessed Little over past-midnight Struck awake, with drownéd, dreaméd sweat From your slurréd, sordid, swiftéd speech I might– Glean some answer simple-neat To quell my panic mood How else might you conjure me to wake as so to greet A conversation, so sleepily ensued For I’m to wake, to listen too, as you are so very far from sight And I, too polite, to leave unanswered–rude
@env0writes C.Buck   Ko-Fi & Venmo: @Zenv0 Support Your Local Artist!   Photo by @env0
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env0writes · 15 days
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Idle Steps 3.13.24 “360i vs 1080p”
My childhood is filled with cigarette burns In the corner of the memory, Where I spliced it Filled with photo grain Rough and course photos that flatten color Yet in their dullness With wood slat walls Family painted walls Messy and bright and warm The burns and smoke and browns Felt all the more alive Felt far more absence than the frowns My childhood was filled with promise Of the soft and round tomorrow I’m here today and like before Am looking forward still My nows are filled with smoke And sharp and vibrant color With white washed walls Enough to make Tom Sawyer blush Redder than any paint The white the white the white And clean unlived in presentation for sale Felt all the more unliving Felt all the more stale My childhood is over My now is always for sale
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env0writes · 15 days
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Idle Steps 3.12.24 “Living Room Nap"
Sleeping in never stopped being a luxury Better yet was to wake With blankets– take And secret myself away to the living room couch The basement futon secret pouch Looking forward to a movie – yeah, this I have to see Sleep never felt so good Upon the rug, upon the floor No matter the time nor what I wore These pillows not what I’d have for bed But in the quiet misting morning light I’d place my head Near the embers burning fireplace’d wood How eagerly I leap from slumber To yawn most marvelously in public view Did my siblings pass by? My father, mother too? This youngest sibling, recalls empty halls Silence, the only response to shouting calls Weighty is the sleep, the memory of yore that so encumbers The light no longer glistens Each morning that I wake To sleeping sleeper secrets shall I listen What from them, should I take?
@env0writes C.Buck   Ko-Fi & Venmo: @Zenv0 Support Your Local Artist!   Photo by @env0
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env0writes · 17 days
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Idle Steps 3.11.24 "Don't Get Dour"
It can’t always rain If the conditions aren’t right So know that this pain Won’t persist pass this night What is there to gain When you wallow in grief Overruling the self, so the feelings sustain Against the tally-marked years, this moment is brief You’ve done this before and you will do it again Cold are the shoulders with burning hot passion These sorrows are anything other than plain No other soul, though, will make this admission The clouds can’t always blot out the sun’s flickering mane Nor the night can darken, forever, the sky Though it may feel as though, all that is must remain The world's better off, as a world where you try It can’t always be sunny and bonny and blue As the inverse, thus proven, as always – is true
@env0writes C.Buck   Ko-Fi & Venmo: @Zenv0 Support Your Local Artist!   Photo by @env0
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env0writes · 18 days
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Idle Steps 3.10.24 “Mid-Step Patience"
Plath and plan and platitudes I will not rest during this March My stride cannot trip or fall or falter Stubbed toes, sunburnt nose, who knows What tomorrow will offer Plans have been made The machine grinds on And I cannot cease, Lest be caught twixt its ruthless machinations I will become machine, I will become nature I will become god But I will not become rested There is no catching tomorrow One might sooner pluck the moon From the starry night sky And use it to buy a vending machine cola Than to reach beyond today On the tenth of march ‘Er the Ides approach I feel the gnawing knives of time Sink and rip and gnaw Time and money ripped from wallet From hand In tandem with unblinking eyes I cannot rest until it is done Whatever, whomenver, however it It must occur And I I am adjacent to that goal Locked within that gaol By any other spelling I am swelling Bursting, rusting – in the machinations another year and a new cog Will be whittled and logged And they too will not rest During this ceaseless trudging March So too the lions So too the lambs
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env0writes · 19 days
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Idle Steps 3.9.24 “RLS”
I’m restless so I rest less So my best is a mess So I fess at your behest Lest I fool some other jest To you, I am confessed Unless some other lass Less than messy, fussy, hussy Leaves me a little reminded Of how rusty, I must be More more or less, kiss me To stop the jitters and the shakes Make me idle and watch how you Become an idol Nothing less, that atop this piled mess Best and lest you change your mind Let me remind I am at beck and call If you recall that I am restless to act No words shall retract those jokes or jests Confess if you will, and I will still Love you with all my sleepless Weepless heart For this my darling, Is just the start
@env0writes C.Buck   Ko-Fi & Venmo: @Zenv0 Support Your Local Artist!   Photo by @env0
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env0writes · 20 days
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Idle Steps 3.8.24 "Horrid, Florid, Ordeal of Being Loved"
My heart opens, full bloom I could gather a thousand petals at the very sight of you Pomegranates are a bloody, challenging mess So maybe I’m worth loving too Whether I am fresh picked Fallen or bruised There is bitter sweetness worth working for No adoration refused So peel back each ventricle Each pump and each beat Take me to prairies, to valleys, to parks For a picnic, take seat Rosebuds and earbuds and you’re bud; I am Budding and blooming and blossoming bright Take all your time with me I’ll not leave this night Make of me a labor, a passionate task Is this too much to ask of you? Too arduous a task? Then on the dank and dirty ground I shall rot to feed the earth anew
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env0writes · 20 days
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Idle Steps 3.7.24 "Restless"
Bright morning grants little rise Sore sight eyesight half opened, awake to daylights lies Little are dawn’s surprise Swift is ascension in the holiest of guise Hallowed ground is dewed Boiled away like parental patience; rude Burning with the radiant light of bloodied feud What future is there from what has ensued? Give me the darkness Before dawn breaks to make a mess Of the firelights scattered across the skyline Spools of thread of time, like colored twine I am no weaver, no maker of things But I’ll gather this light and what that brick-a-brack brings Dawn breaks the silence with cacophonous light Only then do we see ourselves naked, and different – and fight
@env0writes C.Buck   Ko-Fi & Venmo: @Zenv0 Support Your Local Artist!   Photo by @env0
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