ericashawne

[ericashawne]

✨🧚‍♀️ Women as fairies 🧚‍♀️✨

[ericashawne]

I made a new Instagram cause my last one made me uncomfortable.. (at Atlanta Contemporary) https://www.instagram.com/p/CMnMZJDsNwl/?igshid=15vh6uau9pqll

[ericashawne]

#alone #I #love #you #Spotify

[ericashawne]

Your deep shallow breaths

Sync with mine

I watch as your chest rises and falls

The walls recede around me

Everything is lost

All of the day’s stress

Washed away in your presence

I’m not quite sure how to feel

My emotions toward you

Battle for dominance

The fear of you waking up

And catching me in the act of

Watching you, consumes me

The shadows dance around the room

As the television hums nonsense in the background

I wonder how you can be so

Peaceful with all the distractions

I sink into your scent

Taking a deep breathe in

Damn..you smell good

I find myself imagining the things we could do together

The things you could do to me

No. Stop

I won’t go there

This is love, not lust...right?

I’m not sure, I can’t say

But I consider you mine anyway...

#spoken #word

[ericashawne]

This is my body get used to it.

#body dysmorphia #body posititivity #beautiful #like that

[ericashawne]

Vitiligo

[ericashawne]

I hate it here.

[ericashawne]

Religious Cults Are Out To Get Me

I am very very sick of religious cults trying to recruit me. And I’m not talking about just regular old church people asking me to go to their church because friend, I would gladly go to your church one Sunday instead of mine. BUT I”M TALKING ABOUT RELIGIOUS CULTS!!! Mind you they claim to be regular degular Christians (Btw I am not a Christian at all, I just like to listen to what they have to say) but they actually are kind of insane. First off you have Leanna, some white girl I met at school. I was minding my business and she was like “blah blah blah do you want to sit down and read the Bible with me?” and me, being me, I was like “Sure!”. This continued but she wanted to read and “explain” the Bible to me almost everyday and I was like we can only do this on days I go to school cause I live too far (*absolute bs truth). So finally one day, she's like “Hey visit my church, we even have a Nigerian girl in our congregation blah blah blah, she’s cooking for us and everything!”. And over here like:

You had me at cooking. BUT my very cautious mother advised me and told me to look up the address on google maps. I looked it up on Google Maps and turns out this church was no church, it was a suburban home in a empty culd-de-sac, and you may be like “what's so wrong with that??”, the problem is that she is crazy. 

She previously informed me that there were many many people in her congregation....so how did all of these people fit into this suburban home for church??? And let’s not mention the fact that I lied, yes, I’m sorry Leanna, but I lied to her and told her my phone was broken and she POPS UP AT MY JOB!!! I TOLD HER I WORKED AT TARGET, I GAVE HER NO TIMES, NO SHIFTS, I SERIOUSLY DON’T BELIEVE I TOLD HER WHICH ONE BUT SHE FOUND ME!!! 

I was targeted.

Then there was this other girl who offered to pray for me at my job and we kindly exchanged information cause, you know the rona is going around I could use some people to pray around me. This girl, not as crazy as Leanna but just about! For the past week, I’ve been tuning into her church’s Zoom and phone conferences and I like what her elder or lady pastor has to say cause she speaks facts about actually society and mad conspiracy theories, it’s the best experience I have ever had in a religious environment. But tonight, little ole Mari (that's the girl) basically begged for me to say a prayer on the prayer line cause the line was open to anyone who had anything on their heart and I respected that but Mari was real adamant about me doing this but I refused. Then the call ended and I told her I had anxiety (which to a certain extent I do, but I am an extrovert). So she took it upon herself to try and force me into praying with her and sending a voice message or whatever with my prayer and ish. 

I REFUSE. 

She basically said that it is within God’s will that I do this and pray with her and blah blah blah BUT SIS!!! If I don't want to do this, I don't want to do this, why would you try to force me?? 

Because you think it’s God’s will, now I want to do it even less, because if it was his will, I would be doing it, correct? But I’m not, you thought. 

I am officially warding off all religions for a little while because if I was to be a full on Christian, I would go to a basic church and listen to the word of God without having to do all this extra stuff with all these other people I do not want to. 

THANK YOU.

#Christian #Christ #Cult #Bye #Sis #Church #Zoom #religious #self #expression #by #erica

[ericashawne]

I hate everyone.

[ericashawne]

I feel a little lonely. I think I have officially blocked every nigha that wasnt with me for my personality and now there is basically no one. I am alone.. It kinda saddens me cause I crave communication and attention but I know I have so much more to focus on and to do...

[ericashawne]

Lol I forgot I was a whore....

#whore #why #I #forget #Self #expression #by #erica #aesthetic

[ericashawne]

When I think dark thoughts

My mind becomes a blur

My brain is feeling stirred

And I’m fucked up

When I think dark thoughts

I dream of killing her

Placing her in the earth

And I lose my minddd

Trying to find my place

Trying to learn the waysss

But I when I think dark thoughts

Logic out the window

This is not an innuendo

I’m being straight

I’m being clear

Why aren’t fucking hereee

Cause when I think dark thoughts

You make them disappear

I’m smiling ear to ear

Losing you is my greatest fear

And I always want near

But it really only works

If you’re here

#I #tried #to #write #a #song #slash #poem

[ericashawne]

[ericashawne]

This guy....

I’ve been talking to this guy. I’m confused as to what we are and/or what we are doing. I feel that he’s so passionate about so many things and I’m just here....being basic, constantly disappointing him and it’s upsetting. I don’t want to make him unhappy but the rebel in me just can’t help. Maybe I’m just not stable, maybe I’m not good enough. Maybe I just shouldn’t.... It’s just all driving me crazy, I can’t keep staying up thinking about things I should’ve said or should’ve done. It’s deteriorating my soul. Like he’s a soul I’m most definitely inclined to and I just want to make it work buts it’s so hard and I feel like it shouldn’t.

#sigh #love #advice? #please #maybe

[ericashawne]

God?

I may need God in my life, living the life I been living so far only makes me temporarily happy and I I just don’t like how I feel. I don’t agree with who I am and the things I do. Like yea, the excitement is there. I like getting into trouble and doing the wrong things but I feel like I would be so much happier if I was content with myself, and had someone or something to rely on. I want to stop indulging in weed and playing with peoples emotions, especially my own because it’s not fair to me or anyone around me but sometimes it feels like I just can’t help myself. I need a better focuse, I need to find things km passionate about and maybe be alone for a while....maybe look to “God”

[ericashawne]

[ericashawne]