hikaru ga shinda natsu is about coming back wrong and haunting the narrative and being queer in a small rural town and internalised homophobia and summers that feel like they'll never end and the codependent homoerotic friendship you had when you were 15 and what it means to be dead or alive and navigating a world you feel like you dont belong to and grief and mourning and obsession and love and most importantly, having gay thoughts for the eldritch monster that bodysnatched your friend's corpse
nobody talks about the fact that you can have all this crazy shit in your head, and want to open up and talk about your feelings but no matter what, you just can't make out the right words and properly put your thoughts and emotions into words
chronic fatigue from mental illness and neurodivergency isn't something you can just will your way out of. your nervous system is part of your body. your brain is an organ. the fatigue is real. you're not lazy. so be kinder to yourself. be gentler with your bodymind.