essayofthoughts

[essayofthoughts]

You know what? [Offloads decision-making]

#only few hours left! #opinions still welcome #polls

[essayofthoughts]

You know what? [Offloads decision-making]

#critical role #vox machina #perc'ahlia #percy de rolo #vex'ahlia #fic things #writing things

[essayofthoughts]

I'm curious. Reblog this if you know how to cook

I don’t even care if it’s macaroni, ramen or those little bowls you stick in the microwave. Please, I need reassurance that most of the population on tumblr WOULDN’T STARVE TO DEATH if their parents couldn’t fix them food or they couldn’t go out to eat. 

#i can cook #don't often unless it's for others #bc work hours be weird and also if im doing a full day i get food from work (and many snacks) #but my parents insisted me and sibs know how to cook at least three meals and a sunday roast before we left home #cooking #queue

[essayofthoughts]

There's this thing, sometimes, when reading fic - not shitfic, because I do read that and I know what to expect from it, but fic with actual thought and nuance, which cares about exploring trauma and fucked up emotional consequences, evenwhen when they're ugly and uncomfortable and awful -, when you realise that while the fic is willing to have the protagonists be angry but get over it with some characters, they just refuse to with others. And it can make sense to a degree - there's always one character that gets under another's skin, and there's gonna be some disagreements that just, due to individual perspectives, are that much harder to overcome. Even though having them work through it - having a character admit how and when and where they fucked up, and how severely, and the degree to which they recognise this, the internal complex, contradictory fuckery - can be fun! Can be nuanced and messy and delicious.

Then you see the fic says "[X Character] Bashing" and you realise you're never gonna get that. That those crunchy, messy, complex, fun scenes in your head? Will never leave it, because the author has decided that while they'll put in all this engaging messy nuance for (so far) literally every other character... for this single one, a flat one-sided view of a character is all they can be arsed to write.

I dunno, yeah, it's fic and you can write what you like, but bashing has always felt incredibly, astoundingly lazy to me.

#you know what? #IM STILL MAD ABOUT THIS #Especially because the recent chapters have only really been showing messy emotional nuance and healing #for the protags #and they're winning on other fronts #IT WOULD HELP TO HAVE AN EXTERNAL SOURCE OF IMMEDIATE PERSISTENT CONFLICT #AND RAISING THE LEVEL OF THIS #BY STOPPING THE BASH TRAIN #AND GIVING THE CHARACTER DEPTH AND NUANCE #AND LETTING THEM ADMIT HOW FUCKED UP THEY ARE AND HOW MUCH THEY HAVE FUCKED UP #AND LETTING EVERYONE BE CONFLICTED COMPREHENDING BUT STILL AT ODDS MESSES #WOULD MAKE THINGS SO MUCH BETTER #GOD FUCKING DAMNIT #writing things #fic things #all it takes! is stopping the bash train! and giving the only character you're neglecting some nuance #THAT IS ALL #WHY CANT YOU DO THAT [REDACTED]???

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It's just so disappointing when the fic is so good in so many other respects! It's willing to provide messy nuance for other characters, protag and otherwise! It shows long term trauma effects realistically for so many others! It shows empathy for so many others!

And yet it is seemingly completely incapable for just this one character! It just can't be fucked for just this one character! When doing so would make it so much more engaging and fucked up and interesting!

GAAAAAH!

There's this thing, sometimes, when reading fic - not shitfic, because I do read that and I know what to expect from it, but fic with actual thought and nuance, which cares about exploring trauma and fucked up emotional consequences, evenwhen when they're ugly and uncomfortable and awful -, when you realise that while the fic is willing to have the protagonists be angry but get over it with some characters, they just refuse to with others. And it can make sense to a degree - there's always one character that gets under another's skin, and there's gonna be some disagreements that just, due to individual perspectives, are that much harder to overcome. Even though having them work through it - having a character admit how and when and where they fucked up, and how severely, and the degree to which they recognise this, the internal complex, contradictory fuckery - can be fun! Can be nuanced and messy and delicious.

Then you see the fic says "[X Character] Bashing" and you realise you're never gonna get that. That those crunchy, messy, complex, fun scenes in your head? Will never leave it, because the author has decided that while they'll put in all this engaging messy nuance for (so far) literally every other character... for this single one, a flat one-sided view of a character is all they can be arsed to write.

I dunno, yeah, it's fic and you can write what you like, but bashing has always felt incredibly, astoundingly lazy to me.

#Fic things #God its so infuriating #me myself and i

[essayofthoughts]

There's this thing, sometimes, when reading fic - not shitfic, because I do read that and I know what to expect from it, but fic with actual thought and nuance, which cares about exploring trauma and fucked up emotional consequences, evenwhen when they're ugly and uncomfortable and awful -, when you realise that while the fic is willing to have the protagonists be angry but get over it with some characters, they just refuse to with others. And it can make sense to a degree - there's always one character that gets under another's skin, and there's gonna be some disagreements that just, due to individual perspectives, are that much harder to overcome. Even though having them work through it - having a character admit how and when and where they fucked up, and how severely, and the degree to which they recognise this, the internal complex, contradictory fuckery - can be fun! Can be nuanced and messy and delicious.

Then you see the fic says "[X Character] Bashing" and you realise you're never gonna get that. That those crunchy, messy, complex, fun scenes in your head? Will never leave it, because the author has decided that while they'll put in all this engaging messy nuance for (so far) literally every other character... for this single one, a flat one-sided view of a character is all they can be arsed to write.

I dunno, yeah, it's fic and you can write what you like, but bashing has always felt incredibly, astoundingly lazy to me.

#i want characters to be interesting! #not flat on-sided cardboard cutouts! #let a character admit that they fucked up! #that they did something out of selfish obsessive sort-of-love for someone #not out of love for the person as their own individual #but out of a love for what the person means to them #have them admit that and that because they felt they FAILED that person in some way they're doing something else #which they hate and feel complex conflicted resentment over #because they blame this other thing as a sign of their failure and what they think they've lost #and NO it doesn't make sense - but when do emotions ever! #and giving them that nuance #having the protagonists understand this hated character #give them better comprehension perhaps even some empathy... #but in no way help them forgive - if anything make them more disgusted and disappointed by them! #THAT IS CRUNCHY #THAT IS FUN #THAT IS FUCKED UP AND AWFUL #character bashing is a fucking DETRIMENT to nuanced and engaging writing #and i will never not be mad that some people choose the lazy way out #fic things #writing things #fandom things #tag meta #my meta #kinda

[essayofthoughts]

This is why everyone should go and watch Gentleman Jack.

BONNETS

There are bonnets. Some are absolutely ridiculous and I love them. They lean into the period's insanely poofy sleeves and use of colours. But people wear bonnets and hats when they go calling on people, I think the only time that hair is down is when people are ill, in bed, or otherwise haven't gotten up to make themselves presentable yet.

2. Hairstyling and fashion!

While not all of the clothes are 100% accurate to historical fashion they do very much make use of historical fashion (Anne Lister's hair not being as elaborately curled as other women's, but still using period styles). As aforementioned, the sleeves are so much. There are gloves. There are fancy little hair things. Clothing also accounts for class, personality, the social engagement in question - people have worn out clothes, clothes that they've clearly been working in, formal servants clothes and dirtied miner's clothes, there's clothes that have been repurposed that are clearly clothes that fell out of fashion remade to keep them useful.

But for now, I will show you the hair, because the use of buckle-style ringlets for Anne Lister to show her more "fuck you, I am doing that" attitude with period fashions (Albeit, more a men's fashion; actual historical Anne Lister did do the whole insane curls and we have portraits to prove it) next to Anne Walker's full on insane curls everywhere period-typical style.

3. Actual Historical Lesbians

Anne Lister and Anne Walker actually existed. They had a relationship. Anne Lister's diaries are how we know so much of her entire life. Anne Lister's attitudes to both religion and her love of women were things written about in her diaries - and I want to be clear for people unaware she reconciled them. She wasn't the archetypal "unhappy gay", unable to reconcile desires with faith - there was nothing in the bible to forbid wlw, she checked, so she went "okay, then" and got on with it. While she and Anne Walker weren't legally married, they did have a small ceremony to affirm their importance to each other.

Although Lister had met her on various occasions in the 1820s, Ann Walker, who by 1832 had become a wealthy heiress, took on a much more substantial role in Lister's life.[16] Eventually the women took communion together on Easter Sunday (30 March) 1834 in Holy Trinity Church, Goodramgate, York, and thereafter considered themselves married, but without legal recognition. The church has been described as "an icon for what is interpreted as the site of the first lesbian marriage to be held in Britain", and the building now hosts a commemorative blue plaque.[17] The couple lived together at Shibden Hall until Lister's death in 1840.

Actual, historical Lesbians.

Also, everyone should watch this edit, it's what my sibs showed me to get me to watch the show:

I know I can't stop complaining about costuming inaccuracies in period dramas, but sometimes I just think about the excuses costume designers come up with and it really gets me irritated.

"Well, 1920s clothes looked frumpy. I'm IMPROVING them for modern audiences!"

"I'm breaking stereotypes so this doesn't look like every other period film! So I'm making it look nothing like the period <3"

#gentleman jack #video #historical fashion #im not joking the costuming in gentleman jack are fantastic #it fits the economic situation of each family and the social engagement #Anne Walker has the POOFIEST SLEEVES #which is entirely accurate! #but there's also a part when we see her casually and she's wearing what's clearly an old dress repurposed into a housecoat #it's fantastic #Youtube

[essayofthoughts]

✨ Please reblog the polls to make them reach out to as many people as possible. FEEL FREE TO ADD [you know which specific fandom] GIFS TO THIS POST. 💖 Artists and titles will be revealed after the poll's conclusion, check the original post for an update! ✨

#CRIMES #CRIMES BE UPON YE #Also I shazamed 172 173 and 174 and WHAT #W H A T #N O #I R E F U S E #WHAT #music #polls

[essayofthoughts]

play potions with your followers, but watch out..

#have a health potion T #given everything i think u need it #polls

[essayofthoughts]

Hey, hope you're doing good! For the writer ask game:

🏜️ ⇢ what's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?

🍦 ⇢ name three good things about a character you hate

☁️ ⇢ what made you choose your username?

🪲 ⇢ add 50 words to your current wip and share the paragraph here (no pressure if you don't want to do this one though)

🏜️ ⇢ what's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?

Long, in depth ones? This feels like kind of a cop-out because to me it feels obvious, but the best comments to me are ones which point out things the reader liked, which have cogent questions to ask about what was written, comments which recognise things I put in on purpose and which point out things I didn't think of in those terms but which make sense! It's very rewarding to just know that your work and effort is appreciated and being engaged with, and that people are meeting that effort with effort of their own.

🍦 ⇢ name three good things about a character you hate

So I don't really hate many characters? I hate characters I feel are useless or which undermine the plot by their existence, but I think a lot of characters I dislike serve some kind of purpose and can even do it well - I don't like Scanlan, but he is a well-crafted character.

Consequently the easy pick for me to answer about would probably be MCU Tony Stark but uh, fuck no, because the things his existence serves are all kind of fascistic underpinnings of the superhero genre and I don't wanna do that, thank you.

So instead I'm gonna go with Scanlan because while I don't hate him I can at least say there's things that are good about him:

Namely, his avoidance of consequences and blame for his own part in his friends not knowing something was wrong is pretty accurate to how people do that when they don't want to negatively impact their own self-image. I viscerally hate how he blames them all for not reading his mind when he purposefully deceived them, but it is an accurate depiction of those kinds of people and that kind of behaviour, so I can respect Sam Riegel's skill there.

He can actually be kind of funny sometimes.

The number of times one of Scanlan's random spell choices saved the entire group is stupidly high. Riegel doesn't have the same knowledge of character skills or strategy as, say, Travis does, but his ability to just wing it and make Scanlan's random selection of items and spells work is genuinely impressive.

☁️ ⇢ what made you choose your username?

A blog is a place for one's thoughts, I am prone to getting wordy and writing things damn near essays, ergo Essay Of Thoughts.

🪲 ⇢ add 50 words to your current wip and share the paragraph here

See. Now I have to pick one of my WIPs to write something for and I don't want to spoil what I intend to work on next. Hmmm.

“We spoke to Scanlan,” Vex says quietly. In the soft light from the candle she’s gilded at the edges, the play of light and shadow striking enough to make Percy want to capture it in pencil. Then her words hit him and he stiffens. The wry twist of her mouth says plenty. “Are you both all right?” “Fine,” he says which is… not untrue, physically there’s nothing wrong with him and Cassandra is no different from usual. It’s just not the whole truth. If anyone should understand his particular defensiveness, he thinks it’d be Vex with all her careful tact. 

Technically that's 100 words, but oh well.

Writers Truth & Dare Ask Game

#enchantedmerry #percy de rolo #vex'ahlia #ghost cass #ask games #fic things

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Can the british government stop being so atrocious that they actually make me appreciate that we have the house of lords

#h o n e s t l y #the number of things the house of lords has stopped or enabled #because they aren't beholden to party politics the same way the commons is #is 1. kind of terrifying for a non-elected body #and 2. also impressive? they've done a lot of good? #I SHOULDN'T BE ROOTING FOR A SYSTEM THAT ENABLES LORDS? #and yet #somehow #sometimes #it is more functional and does more good #then the actual elected government #fucking tories #britpol

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NO WAIT IGNORE THE OTHER ONE

🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

❄️ ⇢ what's your dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best?

🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

Lets go with Kashra, because that's been eating my brain lately.

My go-to headcanon for Kashra is that when she falls asleep, Zahra loops her tail around Kash's arm or leg or waist - it's a habit from when she was quite young, first wrapping her tail around herself as a self-soothing method, and later using it to hold tight to things that mattered to her (her bag, her staff). It always makes Kash go all Squishle because it means that he matters to her.

🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

Hm, there's a few but I can't recall all of them. A random selection:

The time I was researching the pH of salt water to try to see if would slowly wear away at limestone like acid rain can.

History of horse domestication and use in Iron Age Europe.

Animals which can change sex due to social or hormonal factors for when I wanted to figure out ingredients for a Trans Ur Gender Potion for a fic.

Why some woods burl.

Human evolution and the mix of non-sapiens DNA found in modern humans so I could headcanon Berserkers.

NOT fic, but for my dissertation I found a completely whacked out guy from the Victorian Era who thought that Europe's megalithic sites were built by Appalachian Native Americans and that the zodiac matched to the Greco-Roman gods and also Atlantis was involved somewhere. That one really threw me, if I'm honest.

There are probably more, and this does not include the things I researched when helping you with fic things.

❄️ ⇢ what's your dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best?

I.... don't know. Because a lot of the plots I really want to see I've kind of resolved to rolling up my sleeves and doing it myself? At least within fandom spaces. And when it comes to original fiction, it's more that I'd like to see more gothic horror-romance stuff, and more stuff that's willing to meaningfully dig into trauma within the bounds of an overarching storyline, and I'm kind of still discovering the authors I specifically like for those things? There's authors I know are good at it - Martha Wells, for example - but who's writing style I don't always gel 100% with, while, like, I gel with S.T. Gibson's writing style better, but in how they nail the gothic writing style occasionally it feels a smidge to urple for me to take quite seriously because I'm picky.

So... I don't know what my dream theme/plot for a fic is, really, but I do know that unless it ended up being spyfic, I'd probably do it myself.

If it was spyfic, of course, I'd want you to do it, Mike.

Writers Truth & Dare Ask Game

#fic things #ask games #tobermoriansass

[essayofthoughts]

Writers Truth & Dare Ask Game

🎱 ⇢ post your AO3 total stats  🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction?  🌵 ⇢ share the link to a playlist you love 🕯️ ⇢ on a scale from 1 to 10, how much do you enjoy editing? why is that? 🛼 ⇢ describe your latest wip with five emojis 🥑 ⇢ you accidentally killed somebody, which mutual(s) do you text for help? 🥤 ⇢ recommend an author or fanfic you love 💌 ⇢ how many unread emails do you have right now?  🌻 ⇢ tag someone you appreciate but don't talk to on a regular basis 🐇 ⇢ do you prefer writing original characters, reader inserts, or a mix of both?  🧃 ⇢ share some personal lore you never posted about before 🎲 ⇢ what stops you from writing more in your free time?  🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings 🧸 ⇢ what's the fastest way to become your mutual? 🪐 ⇢ name three good things going on in your life right now 📚 ⇢ what's the last thing you wrote down in your notes app?  🍬 ⇢ post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character 🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project? 🦷 ⇢ share some personal wisdom or a life hack you swear on ❄️ ⇢ what's your dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best? 🌿 ⇢ give some advice on writer's block and low creativity 🥐 ⇢ name one internet reference that will always make you laugh  🏜️ ⇢ what's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work? 🍦 ⇢ name three good things about a character you hate 🥝 ⇢ do you lie a lot? what's the most recent lie you told? 🦋 ⇢ share something that has been on your heart and mind lately  🦴 ⇢ is there a piece of media that inspires your writing?  🍅 ⇢ give yourself some constructive criticism on your own writing 🐚 ⇢ do you like or dislike surprises? 🪲 ⇢ add 50 words to your current wip and share the paragraph here ☁️ ⇢ what made you choose your username? 🐝 ⇢ tag your biggest supporter(s) and say one nice thing about them 🌸 ⇢ do you have any pets? if you do, post some pictures of them 🎨 ⇢ link your favourite piece of fanart and explain why you like it 🧩 ⇢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?

#ask game #go onnnn #fic things

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The enshittification of the Internet is gaining momentum.

We're on our way back into the fifties and I really think we need a giant meteor at this point.

#for fucks sakes #guess it's back to emailing docs around #fanfic things #writing things #fucking google

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Hi I know I haven't made an original post in years but my life is in shambles so if you have an extra dollar I'd really appreciate it.

If you're here for that decade old Romeo and Juliet post and wish to tell me I'm an idiot who's never heard of a tragedy before, you're required to donate 500$ minimum. It's the law.

#If you're able to help Nell please do! #she's a fantastic person #signal boost

[essayofthoughts]

what the FUCK just happened to my dash that force-updated it to tumblr's fugly wannabe twitter layout instead of the layout I configured with extensions that's the way I prefer

Tumblr, go fuck yourselves.

#fuckn tumblr

[essayofthoughts]

If you're still interested in taking asks for the games you reblogged how about 4, 21, 22 and 🔥 for Percy?

4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in?

Book. Book. Give me a book. I want to know Percy's internal monologue if possible, or at least how he was with his family prior to the Briarwoods, and I think a book would be a great way of showing the fun nuances of that given we won't get anything like that on stream.

21. If you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favorite thing to do when you're writing for this character? What's something you don't like?

I mean I think the obvious choice is that I love to poke at his trauma but also like...

I like to provide a small change and try to figure out how it'd affect him? Partly because small points of divergence are fun for me, but also partly because Percy is an overthinker and also someone who comes to conclusions and then rationalises them to himself, not always realising the inconsistency between his emotional conclusion and the actual facts. Percy loves to portray himself as rational and reasonable and he almost never is! He has reasons for what he does and what he thinks is best, but he's also a lot more emotional than he wants to think he is, and I think that's interesting. Percy's brain is a big old thorny mess and I like to really get into the weeds with that, to pick apart how he thinks and why he thinks it, where his logical errors are and where he remains consistent.

I don't think there's anything in particularly I dislike? I mean, I don't tend to write crack, but that's more because crack isn't where my skills lie, it's not to do with Percy. When it's to do with Percy... I mean my goal is to write a good story and sometimes that means geode method-ing it - to find out what a character is made of, first you must break them. Which I think leads on to the next question-

22. If you're a fic reader, what's something you like in fics when it comes to this character? Something you don't like?

Because something I don't like is stories which deny Percy's capacity for awful. I dislike the fandom propensity for woobiefication and how many fics just have him simp for Vex and ignore the ways he can be kind of awful, and neglectful of his sister and just generally kind of a mess. I also hate just...

Okay this is layered but, there's this habit in fandom, largely by people who I think are either inexperienced writers or just inexperienced with trauma to... flatten it. To make the ability to relay a narrative easy, to make triggers simple and obvious and the reactions similarly clear cut.

But the thing is... it isn't? It's way more fucked up and messy? We see Percy in canon try to relay events and it's choppy and erratic and disordered - trauma messes with your memory! And yet I see fics which have Percy just blandly exposit his trauma to Vex, no ums or ahs, no pauses, no hesitation, no chewing over his words or trailing off to silence as the memories overtake the present. There's ones where they have Percy perform anxiety and trauma when encountering people a part of things, and yet it's nothing like what we see in canon - his seething anger with Stonefell, his razor's edge calm at Ripley (that's barely concealing screaming terror within). There's none of his capacity for total irrationality (again, Ripley) and it's...

I don't think it's intentional on the part of these authors. I don't think they realise just how much of a shit job they're doing. But at least to me, with my own trauma - it doesn't feel remotely reflective of 1. My own experiences with trauma and that kind of shit and 2. With what we see in canon.

Instead it feels like someone playacting something they don't remotely understand - like a child. And that's fine for the people learning about it, but for people who've got their own experiences and who like to read about similar experiences for the catharsis of seeing a character overcome it or the relatability factor or anything else - it can feel weirdly mocking? Dismissive? Like the author doesn't care enough to actually think about how those kinds of events affect someone. It's like they think our stories make good stories - but they don't care enough to portray it accurately.

And, again, I don't think most authors do this with malice, I think it's pure ignorance, but that doesn't stop me hating it.

On the flipside, I really love stories which actually tackle Percy's trauma and bullshit well.

I also... and this is much more petty, but I dislike the portions of fandom that like to make Percy some kind of sex god, or even overtly horny. Percy is very restrained and very internal that we see, and he's easily flustered. When Scanlan makes a joke about him having syphilis when he has his cough early in the Briarwood Arc Percy's flustered response is along the lines of once! Vex makes a point that Percy has improved because he's good at learning and knows when to listen. He was a nerd who explicitly had nothing to do with court - he's not the kind of person who was likely to go fucking around before the Briarwoods and after the Briarwoods he had awful, personal, visceral trauma and violation from being tortured, as well as dissociating to shit! I highly doubt he fucked around after! It seems likely to me that he has very limited sexual experience and also was someone who was deeply flustered by a lot of sexuality for some time - he notably relaxes once he's getting some on a regular basis which very much suggests to me that if he had more experience, he'd be less flustered!

There's also that Percy is very much someone who overthinks. Who hates himself for his own terrible thoughts and ideas. I'm sorry, but I can't see him easily fantasising about someone he knows - Percy strikes me as the kind of person who'd think even a wet dream about someone to be terribly rude and an imposition. He hates his reflexive awful bad ideas, the Ripley of his brain, he was raised posh and noble with rigid etiquette expectations - I think Percy's sense of propriety probably extends even that far. Repression is a hell of a thing.

Send me a “ 🔥 “ for an unpopular opinion.

Percy's a dick, no not a dick like that, no, not a misunderstood woobie, Percy's kind of an arrogant rich wanker and that's half the fun of his character. As I say above, there's a lot of people in fandom who just want Percy to be cool and kind of ignore his capacity for awfulness or petty bullshit, and also who ignore his capacity to be a dork or a fucked up uni kid! He's a traumatised man in his early 20s, he's basically a fucked up uni student! Percy wants people to think he's cool, but this man is a nerd! He invented guns! Don't make him cool! Make him a dork!

A huge swath of fandom is wrong about Percy and I remain narky about it.

Character Ask Game | Send “🔥“ for an unpopular opinion | Ask Box

#percy de rolo #fic things #fandom things #ask game #enchantedmerry #ask