etherealcalamity
bella
tw:ana || block, don’t report a blog of my thoughts, fears, worries 20 || she/her || sw:120lbs || gw:99lbs all are welcome <3
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you holy bitch
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ugh, what i will do to be this gorgeous
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★Can’t wait to live by myself so my fridge can look like this so i cant ever binge again★
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my friend’s wedding is in mid september and i got a gorgeous dress in a size that will hopefully be perfect on me at my goal weight. it ships like 2 weeks before the wedding so i have very little time for error. i want to look perfect as her bridesmaid. i will not be fat and ugly in front of all those people.
it’s time to get back into gear and become skinny and perfect. i want to be happy when i look at myself in the mirror instead of wanting to tear myself apart.
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I can do it I’m not hungry
I can do it I’m not hungry
I can do it I’m not hungry
I can do it I’m not hungry
I can do it I’m not hungry
I can do it I’m not hungry
I can do it I’m not hungry
I can do it I’m not hungry
I can do it I’m not hungry
I can do it I’m not hungry
I can do it I’m not hungry
I can do it I’m not hungry
I can do it I’m not hungry
I can do it I’m not hungry
I can do it I’m not hungry
I can do it I’m not hungry
I can do it I’m not hungry
I can do it I’m not hungry
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i just feel so awful about my body and everything. i never want to eat again.
#i want to be sk1nny#not pr0 just for me#tw ana diary#tw eating things#ana thoughts#anamia#eating disoder things#tw ana thoughts#4na blog#4n4m1a#anorexjk#ed thoughts
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well i wrecked my car at like 6 am a few days ago. i’ve been so on edge and stressed about affording this shit, it’s like $4,000 to get my car fixed, and i can’t even take it in until may. and my work fucked me over and didn’t schedule me at all this week when i really need the money 😭
i don’t know how i’m going to do this and i’m genuinely terrified.
on a somewhat bright side, i haven’t been eating bc i can’t stomach it, or afford it rn.
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i unintentionally started fasting around 4 pm today and then fell asleep for like 5 hours. a slay fr. plus i work 9-5 tomorrow so i’m manifesting an easy 25+ hr fast!
#i want to be sk1nny#🦋blog#🦋diary#tw ana diary#tw eating things#ed thoughts#ed tumbr#notprojustusingthetags
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it’s so weird, the perceptive of one’s own body.
like my mind’s convinced itself that i’ll only be loved or valued if i’m underweight and i fully believe it. but i see other people and i want nothing more for them to be confident and happy in their own bodies.
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best part of taking these antidepressants, my appetite is completely gone, like this is gonna make fasting so easy. i’ll def be able to complete this 24 hr fast, however i’ve had a headache and been drowsy all day.
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finally went and saw a doctor and got prescribed antidepressants. they’re the ones that can cause weight loss, what a slay fr.
#i want to be sk1nny#tw ana thoughts#ana things#not pr0 just for me#tw eating things#anamia#skinnii#anorexsick
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still going strong 21 hrs into my fast, AND i passed my calc exam?! top tier day fr
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my vape f*cking burnt out so unexpectedly and i’m pissed 😭
#i want to be sk1nny#not pr0 just for me#tw ana diary#tw eating things#🦋blog#4n0r3x14#ana thoughts#ana things
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the plan for tonight is to alternate working out and studying, i’m feeling pretty hopeful.
it’s my last night of spring break and i only have one class tomorrow so i’m basically gonna fast all day!
#i want to be sk1nny#not pr0 just for me#tw ana diary#tw eating things#ana thoughts#anamia#eating disoder things#tw ana thoughts#🦋tw
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working out in the middle of the night >>> any other time
i just feel like it’s perfect bc there’s no fear of being caught and then i can sleep most of the day and get away with starving all day
#i want to be sk1nny#not pr0 just for me#tw ana diary#tw eating things#ana thoughts#anamia#eating disoder things#tw ana thoughts#4na blog#4n4m1a#anorexjk
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getting coffee w a friend who is such thinspo and i wanna cry.
i love her so much, but she’s a dancer and every time i see her (she goes to school in hawaii, so it’s every couple months) she’s so thin and i haven’t changed.
i need to fast the entire day, i’m 18 hrs in and i need to make it at least 24.
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