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If only you could see the way my eyes light up when I recieve a notification from you.
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I get attached easily.
But I don't open up to just anyone.
I put my trust into someone who I deem fit.
I don't pick just anyone.
Sometimes I pick the wrong person.
I become attached.
I trust them.
That's how I get hurt.
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I don't want to be that one night stand.
The one month fling
Or the trophy on the shelf.
I want to be that one and only.
The until death do you part.
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Maybe he thinks about you in the late hours of the night, when sleep seems miles away.
Maybe you are the are the one thing on his mind that keeps him up at night.
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I need you to understand.
I'm not perfect.
I'm not skinny or popular.
I mess things up and I'm a bit rough around the edges.
I don't open up right away but when I do it's nothing but the truth.
I over think everything and I often lose people for telling them how I feel about a problem.
I don't know how to speak up for myself but I can speak up for others.
In my eyes, I'm a horrible person.
But I try so hard to be better.
Please understand.
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Just An Announcement
Hey guys! I'm going to be changing things up from here on out.
I'm not really sure how y'all feel about my normal post like the "feelings" and deep stuff. So I decided to change it up a but because for one most of my content is a splur of the moment kinda thing so it's a not unpredictable. So to keep this page up and running I decided to just post that are a bit random but I'll be sticking to my original content.
If y'all have any suggestions, I'll be happy to hear them cause creativity is kinda hard work guys! I mean a girl can only create so much until the ADHD kicks in, y'all know what I'm saying.
So feed back guys is really appreciated. I hope y'all enjoy the new stuff I'll be posting.
Be safe and make those 8 seconds count!
-MJ
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I thought I would humor y'all just a bit. Post something a bit different that my depressing love stuff. Here's a little insight on my personality, hope y'all enjoy. Have a good day and survive school.
I'M WALKING THROUGH THE HALLS, WITH A LARGE AMOUNT OF STRESS... IM ALMOST TO MY CLASS, AND I HAVEN'T GOT A CLUE! THERE IS A TEST AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. I STUDIED LAST NIGHT, YET I KNOW IM GOING TO FAIL. NOW IM STRESS OUT ALL THE WAY HEY!
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I don't sleep.
Not anymore.
Everytime I try, the reoccurring nightmare plays over in my head.
I prefer the whole not sleeping.
It means I don't have to relive the moment you left me
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Where did things go wrong with us?
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Maybe I wasn't meant to have someone.
Maybe I am meant to have this overwhelming fear of terrible things happening.
Maybe I am meant to cry in the late hours of the night when I can't sleep.
Maybe I am meant to have the crushing feeling of being terrified of not being good enough.
Maybe I was never meant to be the girl that a guy willingly stayed for.
Maybe.
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We broke up. All is done. Sure, it's true. I'll never find another like you. I'm not looking for another narcissist.
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“I spent three months being crazy about you, falling harder every time you looked at me. You are a coward. I haven’t been this disgusted by someone in years. You’re the type of low that ripples my calm. I struggled for years hating my body, it’s taken a lot of work for me to learn to love or even be content with myself. You have no right to pick me apart, point out my flaws, and say crude lies behind my back. Guys like you, dehumanizing others, are a huge reason why I fell into such a dark place as a teenager. I went from being over 200 lbs. down to 90 lbs. in a matter of months. I went from being told I was fat or gross, to people saying “Wow you’re so skinny!” And “Damn, when did you get hot?” Now people say I look healthy and it cuts me up a bit. You don’t understand how stupid comments can effect someone immensely. So what if I have scars, stretch marks, loose skin, and finally started gaining weight again. I’m not perfect, never claimed to be, and I wouldn’t want to be anyway. If you hated everything about me so much you shouldn’t have strung my heart along for three months. You knew exactly what you were doing, I just wish I would have realized how childish you are before I let myself trust you. I don’t regret anything though, seeing behind your pathetic disguise helped me remember why I am the way I am. People like you are why I’m the strong woman I am now. I honestly hope one day you’ll grow up because you’re digging yourself deep, but you’re the one who will have to live with the repercussions of your actions. I have no respect, compassion, or love left for you anymore.”
-K.N.B.
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I broke up with you to focus on things
You said you would wait for me, but I didn't think I was worth waiting for.
Countless of times, I told you there were other people out there waiting for someone like you.
I hoped you would move on.
Days. Weeks. Months. They all passed and there was nothing from you.
I was glad.
You moved on.
You finally found someone who really deserved you.
Then I got a message.
From you.
You told me what you and your buddy did that weekend.
I could never tell you this to your face, but what you told me changed my view of you.
I felt the feelings I had for you slowly drift away.
I still felt something for you.
We talked for a bit and then you just stopped responding.
I let it go.
I know you have more important things to do that talk to me.
Then I got a message.
But it was not from you.
It was from my best friend.
She told me how you were flirting with her.
I know I shouldn't have been even an ounce of upset, yet I still felt the sting.
I felt all of my feelings for you disappear
I no longer see the guy I had feelings for.
I just saw a guy.
A guy who still talks to me like we used to.
I broke up with you.
I let you go.
Now, you need to let me go.
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When I see you, I see
The mischiveous smile before every suprise.
Unforgettable memories.
When I hear your voice, I hear;
The unexpected "I love you" 's.
Endless conversations about any and everything.
Your contagious laugh.
All the little things I'll never forget.
All the little things I'll have to live without.
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Loving you was hard.
Watching you leave was harder.
Loving you, even after you left;
Now that is the hardest thing of all.
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Your lips told a story.
Yet, your eyes told another.
Which one is true?
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