exitmade

[exitmade]

connor “itchy cable knit sweater” murphy

#visage. / a kid who’s lost control.

[exitmade]

“ is there anything else you want to say to me? ”

MISC   //  ACCEPTING

                          huffs indignantly, causing the curl that dangles in front of his face to swing out into the air like the a string of dandelion seeds.  “  no.  ”  he says simply, because frankly, he feels as though he’s wasted enough breath on the situation. he’s sick of guys like stu - cool and attractive and passionate, things that he wished he could feel like he was too, that he could show. 

                           but he knows that it isn’t stu’s fault. he’s never been terrible to connor like other kids, so why does he have such a contempt towards him ?  “ i have better things to do than talk to you, ” he says, even though he doesn’t.

#knifewields #inbox. / the tiniest shred of human interaction.

[exitmade]

ok so i’ve been gone (what else is new)...did tumblr on the computer just decide to fuckin stop letting us format??? everyone’s posts are fucking HUGE on my dash and all my drafts do too

#ooc. / tove in the bathroom at a party.

[exitmade]

musingmemes‌:

reblog and bold your muses preference.

summer / winter / spring / fall 

rain / snow / sun 

lace / silk / cotton / velvet / denim

water / soda / liquor / beer / wine / coffee

breakfast / lunch / dinner

meat / sweets / fruits and vegetables 

pop / rock / country / rap / other 

staying up late / going to bed early

early rising / sleeping in

tv / movies / books / theater 

extravagance / traditionalism / minimalism 

love / money / power 

having company / being alone / a healthy balance 

dogs / cats 

black / white / gold 

for tattoos / against tattoos 

white chocolate / dark chocolate / milk chocolate / none 

city / nature / suburbs 

religious / non religious 

outer space / ocean 

lots of friends / handful of friends / loner

meat eater / vegetarian / vegan 

text message / phone calls / facetime 

conservative / liberal / somewhere in the middle 

belief in supernatural / no belief in supernatural 

bright colors / pastel colors / neutral colors 

christmas / halloween / thanksgiving / new years / none 

email / hand writing letters 

#about. / you used to be a little kid with glasses in a twin sized bed.

[exitmade]

“ i’m trying my best and it’s not good enough. it’s never good enough. ”

MISC   //  ACCEPTING

                           hums in acknowledgement, unsure how else to get through that he gets it.  “ i know people will say they know how you feel a lot, when they really don’t  ...  but trust me, i know how you feel,  ”  he says, playing it off as something nonchalant, but he hopes that carrie understands how much he means it. he was no stranger to never being good enough, in the eyes of just about everyone.

                           sure, he doesn’t know her exact circumstance, but he can still try his best to make her feel heard, understood, seen...at the end of the day, isn’t that what everyone wants? to know that someone, anyone, gives a shit  ?   “ i’m not too good at the whole...advice thing...or, feelings in general...but if you wanna, like, talk about it...  ?  i’m a pretty good listener.  ”

#teleoutcast #inbox. / the tiniest shred of human interaction.

[exitmade]

Mike Faist promoting “I Can I Will I Did”

#visage. / a kid who’s lost control.

[exitmade]

i was planning to do stuff tn but i just got rlly sleepy so ill probably lurk on mobile but feel free to send me more of that last meme and ill get to them probably tomorrow!!

#ooc. / tove in the bathroom at a party.

[exitmade]

misc sentence starters

“  i wish i knew how to talk about it.  ”   “  you don’t have to talk, we can just sit together.  ”   “  i don’t want to be alone anymore.  ”   “  i wish i could hate you.  ”  “  take a seat, we’re gonna be here a while.  ” “  i need you to trust me.  ”   “  i missed/miss you.  ”   “  she/he won’t listen to me.  ” “  let me do this for you. please.  ”   “  is there anything else you want to say to me?  ” “  tell me something happy.  ”   “  promise me.  ” “  i just want/wanted to help.  ”   “  let me explain.  ” “  i didn’t/don’t need you to understand, i just wanted/want you to support me.  ”   “  i’m on your side.  ” “  i’ve got your back, okay? ” “  please, tell me you have a plan.  ” “  stay with me tonight.  ” “  don’t go. please.  ”   “  i’ve been alone for so long i’m afraid i don’t know what it’s like not to be.  ”   “  talk to me.  ”   “  i did what i had to do.  ” “  we can’t keep going on like this.  ” “  i’m just tired.  ” “  i’m scared.  ” “  it’s okay to be afraid. fear can be good. use it.  ” “  it’s better to expect disappointment.  ” “  hope is dangerous.  ” “  i like seeing you smile.  ”   “  you look beautiful.  ”   “  be patient with her/him. they’re trying. ”   “  i’m trying my best and it’s not good enough. it’s never good enough. ” “  i’m starting to think i’m just fucked up.  ”   “  have a drink with me.  ” “  she/he is better off without me. but i guess that’s their choice.  ” “  you can’t dictate what’s best for someone else. ” “  can i help you?  ” “  i thought you’d like this.  ” “  do you wanna get out of here?  ” “  walk with me?  ” “  well, shit.  ”

#memes. / writing emails.

[exitmade]

                                    no one deserves to be 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘰𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘯. no one deserves to 𝙛𝙖𝙙𝙚 𝙖𝙬𝙖𝙮.

                                  𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙣𝙤𝙧 𝙢𝙪𝙧𝙥𝙝𝙮 from 𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘦𝘷𝘢𝘯 𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘴𝘦𝘯. by tove.

#self promo. / my muse felt so big and my follow count felt so small.

[exitmade]

#musings. / thinking is just about all i can do now. #aesthetic. / the smell of weed (and disappointment).

[exitmade]

huntedvideo·:

‘and then you die,’ he finishes the sentence without much thought, then looks at connor with pursed lips. ‘right? that’s what you were going to say? or did i make this entire thing awkward?’

life’s a bitch. / @exitmade·.

he chuckles. ‘i was actually going to say ‘and it never ends’ but yours is a lot more optimistic, so let’s pretend that’s what i was going to say...besides, if either of us is going to make this awkward, it’ll probably be me.’

#huntedvideo

[exitmade]

looksfetch·:

          @exitmade· :  “  what’s the fucking point?  ”

       ❛    connor,    ❜   she  starts,  focus  turned  away  from  her  pompom - making  materials  for  the  time  being.   the  ‘you  will  be  found’  project  was  probably  one  of  the  best  things  to  come out  of  their  school  in  a  long  time  —  she  couldn’t  even  name  another  one  off  the  top  of  her  head.   but  no  matter  how  honorable  and  brave  it  was  to  do  it,  gretchen  knew  it  must  have  been  hard  to  try  and  help  other  people  with  their  problems  when  the  person  giving  it  needed  help  too.   ❛    you’re  reaching  out  to  more  people  than  you  realize.   what  you’re  doing  is  huge,  and  like—    ❜   she  pauses  to  bump  his  elbow  with  hers.   ❛    it’s  not  a  one - man  job.   i  know  you  don’t  exactly  like  me  yet,  but  if  you  need  me  to  help  with  something,  i’ll  do  it.    ❜

hurt  /  comfort  sentence  starters.     accepting !

      ❛    you really think so  ?    ❜   he asks,  furrowing his brows  in worry, and a little bit of doubt, too. the bump of her elbow against his made his ears grow warm— he wasn’t used to touch in general, let alone a friendly, almost playful gesture from a plastic. correction: former plastic. now, she's a member of connor’s group...his project, the good thing that he’d begun ( with a little help, of course ). don’t get him wrong — he’s proud of it. but it’s hard to feel proud when there’s still a nagging little voice in the back of your head, telling you that nothing you do matters. you’ll never be good enough. the opposite of what he was preaching, ironically enough. he cracks a tiny, barely-there smile, a half-assed attempt at showing gretchen that he appreciates her enthusiasm ( because he really does, he’s just horrible at showing it ). ❛    thanks, gretchen.  that means a lot...and, to be fair, i don’t like a lot of people. the fact that your friendship application is pending should be an honor enough.    ❜  he jokes, and awkwardly repeats the elbow-touch she’d given him.

#looksfetch #// no offense but they cute

[exitmade]

angst child whomst i love

#visage. / a kid who’s lost control.

[exitmade]

huntedvideo·:

‘i beg to differ,’ finley shouldn’t push the kid, but civility was not happening here, and that was very clear to see. ‘because people who are civil don’t use the word fuck in any aggressive sounding sentences. just sayin’,’

i’m being perfectly fucking civil. / @exitmade·.

connor scoffed, giving a roll of his eyes. ‘i happen to say fuck in all my sentences. including the civil ones,’ he said, smug smirk curled on his face. he loved messing with people who had no authority over him.

#// the physical restraint it took to have connor Not just reply with 'ok boomer'.... #huntedvideo

[exitmade]

skoolbully·:

@exitmade   /   sc   .

❛   what   up   ,   smurf-y   .   ❜   his   voice   precedes   his   presence   ,   but   not   by   much   .   no   sooner   do   insolent   words   roll   off   his   tongue   is   he   on   connor   like   bees   on   honey   .   history   books   speak   poorly   of   soldiers   who   brandish   their   swords   into   the   backs   of   others   ,   but   ––   fortunately   for   jimbo   ––   there   is   no   code   of   honour   to   keep   him   from   assailing   an   unsuspecting   victim   .   he   slaps   open   palms   against   connor’s   back   ,   right   on   the   shoulder   blades   ,   and   gives   him   a   deliberate   shove   towards   the   locker-lined   wall   .   (   nice   .   )   somewhere   in   the   world   ,   probably   at   a   conference   of   bullies   ,   he’s   sure   that   somebody’s   written   bathroom   poetry   about   the   beauty   of   the   sound   of   losers   hitting   lockers   .   thwack   !

jimbo   leans   against   the   wall   ,   tucking   his   hands   nonchalantly   into   the   pockets   of   his   coat   .   the   insolent   smile   sprawled   across   his   lips   gives   the   rest   of   his   face   a   bright   ,   elated   appearance   .   fucking   with   connor   is   like   taking   somebody’s   arm   and   twisting   back   further   and   further   ;   someday   that   joint   will   give   out   or   the   bone   will   break   .   (   snap   ,   crackle   ,   pop   !   )   until   then   ,   pushing   the   limits   is   like   a   free   adrenaline   dispensary   .   he   angles   his   head   forward   ,   still   beaming   .   for   the   most   part   ,   looking   into   his   face   is   like   looking   at   a   dog   that’s   bitten   a   kid   but   has   no   notion   of   the   consequences   .   ❛   nice   bag   .   you   accidentally   bring   you   mom’s   purse   to   school   ?   ❜

he’d be lying  if he said he was surprised by the attack . it’s not uncommon to find himself shoved around by other students, of both the popular and the unpopular breeds . and, of course, jimbo is one of his usual tormentors, so it comes as no shock.  despite that fact, he still flinches under the touch, knowing what’s next   (   the way his palms smack into the metal, narrowly saving his face from smashing into the locker, just bumping his chin at the last moment, but it most likely won’t leave a bruise   )  —  and he hunches his shoulders like a child receiving a scolding, long hair falling over his face and casting shadows over his skin .

rage is not an emotion that connor is unfamiliar with, and he feels it bubbling in the pit of his gut, but he knows it isn’t worth it . he is, to put it kindly, fucking weak and couldn’t hold a fight, and besides, the last thing he needs is another detention, or suspension, or another fuckin’ expulsion . so instead, he curls his hands into fists so that his black-painted nails dig crescent moons into the palms of his hands, and with all his might, rolls his eyes dramatically, straightening his posture as if he’s unbothered.  ❛   wow, good one. i’m laughing so hard, can’t you tell  ?   ❜

#skoolbully

[exitmade]

im finally makin fuckin ICONS babee !!

#will they be good? probably not #am i excited anyway? ya :3 #ooc. / tove in the bathroom at a party.

[exitmade]

just did a bad thing ... @sharesjoint

#ooc. / tove in the bathroom at a party.