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The amazon fallout series got me motivated to play new vegas again. Pray for me fellas, I’m gonna start modding it from scratch 🫡

#my motivation to do fun stuff died off but maybe its back now??? maybe???

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[fairy-made]

online communities are so strange because people slip away so easily. you can be on here for years, folding people you've never met into the fabric of your daily life, and then they disappear, leaving only ghost posts scattered across tumblr behind. or their blog stays dormant, for weeks, months, years, until you're only still following them because you remember that they love sunflowers or they were kind to you when they didn't have to be or the last thing they posted was sad and raw and you still worry about them sometimes.

and sometimes they come back when you least expect it, years later, even, and there's this sudden rush of relief like there you are, there you are, even though you barely knew each other.

there's a strange kind of love to it. i don't know you and i want to hold your hand across miles and time zones and oceans. i can still see the imprint of you in this community you left. you don't anyone will notice or care when you're gone, but we notice and we care and we wish you well.

i hope you're all okay out there. i hope the sun is shining on your face and you are breathing deeply. i miss you.

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wesker

#resident evil

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me. me when a poem says something ive felt before

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[ID: a very simply drawn three panel comic. the first panel shows a person approaching a cat that's laying on the floor and reaching down to hug her, saying "gertie." the second panel shows two coins falling from the person's shirt pocket. the third panel shows the coins bouncing off the cat, who doesn't care.]

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Muppet Fact #1054

When Ernie can't sleep, he dances until he becomes sleepy.

Source:

Sesame Street. Episode 1705. May 21, 1982.

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#bg3

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snoopy of the day

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found you a new hat.

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[fairy-made]

growing up and maturing is realising that people including yourself make mistakes. all of us learn from it. we grow and be better, for ourselves. not for anyone else’s sake. maturing is knowing you’ve done something wrong, accepting it and continue to work to become a better version of yourself.

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It’s crazy how low self-worth fucks with peoples lives

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In the moments I was most vulnerable with people. In the moments I wanted to be taken seriously, or just seen. I wasnt.

I was treated like a bother. And i think thats what drives people to end it.

I think Ill be fine but Im ngl im pretty hurt rn. All my life i just sought friends and acceptance. I found that here, but never just like. In front of me. It sucks. People youve never physically met just get it. People in front of you dont.

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I stopped hormonal birth control because the doctors are guessing they contributed to 3 blood clots in my leg 🙃 (btw please never ignore pain that doesnt go away after a week… bc thats what my lower leg pain was lmao.)

And for whatever reason the excitement I had for cosplaying has just died down severely. Id guess the hormones and maybe the potential life threat is fucking with my mood.

It just sucks bc now I have to find an alternative birth control, deal with acne again, painful cramps, all that jazz. On top of dealing with the adjustment period, right before whats supposed to be a really fun time. I know Ill still have fun but I was so hyped to cosplay Dio or Toji and now for whatever reason I’m like… nope. Gojo. And I like Gojo, but I always said Id cosplay someone else from JJK before him. Idk. Very weird shift imo.

But on the flip side, I wont be so migraine prone, I may be able to lose weight a little easier, and my libido is back. Plus… probably no blood clots. So not all bad I guess. 🤷🏽‍♀️ and hopefully my costume/makeup test goes well.

And this year I have time to work on adding to my Noi cosplay. Thats a good thing too I guess.