faitomato

[faitomato]

[faitomato]

most important thing to remember about being a woman is if youre married you have to go under the covers with your husband and laugh cutely and play wrestle so when you die to progress the narrative he can remember it in slow motion montages

[faitomato]

kyaaaaa~!! you pervert! *activates a laser grid that cuts you into a dozen bloody cubes*

[faitomato]

[faitomato]

[names my sons cain and abel] alright. get to it

#literally made this joke with my bf #me an he

[faitomato]

🎉🎉🎉

#portal

[faitomato]

“no i will not elaborate” is such a fun line, but unfortunately i have adhd and am incapable of shutting up. yes i will elaborate

#adhd

[faitomato]

Magneto: Are you interested in joining my team of mutants fighting for the end of mutant oppression? :)

A mutant: sure what’s it called?

Magneto: the brotherhood of evil mutants

Mutant: w

Mutant: why’s it called that

[faitomato]

not….far off

#mgs is freaking nuts man #mgs

[faitomato]

Batman, champion of abstinence

[faitomato]

jazz-induced psychosis

[faitomato]

I ate 5 pepperoncinis, one medium pickle, about a cup of pepperoncini juice mixed with pickle juice and 2 slices of toasted sourdough dipped in hot salsa for lunch and I’m dying please don’t laugh at me

#op are you trying to die 😭 #pure acid lunch rippppppp

[faitomato]

note: am v aware i have horrible taste lol

#I MISREAD BEANS AS BEER NOOOOOOO #I LOVE BEANS I LOVE BEANS #ALL THESE OPINIONS ARE BAD OP AND I LOVE BEANS

[faitomato]

[faitomato]

#dmc

[faitomato]

DIRECTLY INTO MY FACE

#video

[faitomato]

#hey 😭 #video