family-oddity

[family-oddity]

I shake my head when I'm told I've done nothing wrong by someone who does not know the things that keep me up at night

I need to find a God in someone, strip myself bare, and ask, "Is it forgivable?"

#vent #my writing #trauma #trauma coping #vent writing #guilt #guilt complex #trauma writing

[family-oddity]

#so i learned i am a sad drunk! #vent #my writing #trauma #trauma coping #traumacore #ventcore #actually cptsd #trauma edit #vent edit #my edit #tw vomit mention

[family-oddity]

#vent #my writing #trauma #vent edit #my edit #tw religious themes #tw religion #guilt #ventcore

[family-oddity]

#i was like “god this one is so ugly” #but its sporadic and disgusting just like what i did #so it fits #guilt #vent #my writing #ventcore #vent edit #my edit #coping #i deserve to be in pain #note to my brother

[family-oddity]

#I think this is from Dec or Nov 23 #vent #trauma #my writing #trauma coping #traumacore #ventcore #actually cptsd #vent edit #tw sa mention #sa mention #sa victim #tw sa #sa survivor

[family-oddity]

do you ever laugh with your friends and think oh this is the point. this is the point of everything

[family-oddity]

#vent #my writing #trauma #trauma coping #traumacore #ventcore #actually cptsd #trauma edit #vent edit #my edit #sa survivor #tw sa vent #sa vent

[family-oddity]

[family-oddity]

Thank you for holding me on that bench when I cried. I agree with you, I do have a good life nowadays. But I can't forget how much regret I carry inside of me.

#to my grandpa #vent #my writing #cptsd recovery #vent writing #trauma writing

[family-oddity]

#vent #my writing #trauma #trauma coping #traumacore #ventcore #trauma edit #actually cptsd #vent edit #my edit #dereality

[family-oddity]

Words from voyager by boygenius

[family-oddity]

"We usually only see kids your age if they need their stomach pumped!" is what the nurses would say as a joke

It scares me, though. I hate looking around the hospital and realizing most of the patients are at least triple my age. I'm too young to be this fucked up.

#vent #my writing #trauma #trauma coping #actually cptsd #medical trauma #medical vent #medical problems

[family-oddity]

Doesn't matter how long I'm clean for all it takes is 1 bad night and I have to fight off intrusive urges about it for days. It's always been like this fucked up way of cleansing myself, as if all the ugly feelings inside me will flow out of me if I rip open my skin.

It never works but God I wish it would. I wish somehow I could remove all these disgusting memories and agony from my body.

#sh vent #sh recovery #sh urges #tw sh related #tw sh mention #tw sh #trauma #vent #vent writing #my writing #intrusive thinking

[family-oddity]

Being sa'd by someone you had a crush on beforehand is so confusing. I remember not understanding why I felt so disgusting and used after the incident, thinking I should've liked it. It took weeks for it to finally click.

#vent #my writing #trauma #trauma coping #actually cptsd #sa vent #tw sa vent #vent writing

[family-oddity]

#vent #my writing #trauma #trauma coping #traumacore #ventcore #trauma edit #vent edit #actually cptsd #my edit #sa vent #tw sa vent #tw sa #sa implied #sa survivor #sa mentioned

[family-oddity]

#vent #my writing #trauma #trauma coping #traumacore #ventcore #trauma edit #vent edit #actually cptsd #my edit

[family-oddity]

I hate the fact that smell is so closely linked with memory sometimes.

I put on some sunscreen I hadn't used in a long time. Suddenly, it was August, and the fear, confusion, and self disgust I felt in those blazing weeks did not hit me just as a memory. It felt so overwhelming it was like I was reliving it for a moment.

#vent #my writing #trauma #trauma coping #actually cptsd #cptsd recovery #living with cptsd