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fatecantstopme · 12 days
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My Past, My Present, My Future
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Pairing: Dean Winchester x reader, Endverse!Dean x reader
Summary: You get dragged to the future along with Dean to witness the aftermath of the apocalypse. Follows the plot of "The End" (Season 4, Episode 4)
Warnings: mentions of death, canon violence, cursing, use of pet names. SMUT, oral (F receiving), unprotected sex (P in V), dirty talk.
A/N: If I tell you too much, it'll ruin the story...enjoy!
It had been 2009 when you and Dean had fallen asleep in a hotel in Kansas City. You were awoken by the sound of your boyfriend's voice muttering "What the hell?"
You opened your eyes to find yourself in a completely trashed room--it looked like an actual bomb had gone off. It took you a moment to realize it was the same room you'd fallen asleep in.
"Dean?" you asked in confusion.
He was staring out the window, so you joined him, the two of you now staring out a what remained of the city.
"What happened?" you whispered.
"I have no idea." He looked back at you, worry etched into his face. "We should get moving. See if we can find anyone else."
As the two of you walked through the city streets, you found yourselves completely alone--that is, until you came across a little girl crouched in an alleyway all alone.
As the little girl attacked Dean, you saw the word "Croatoan" painted on a brick wall. Dean defended himself, knocking the girl unconscious.
You simply pointed to the word, a look of dread on your face. Dean's gaze followed your finger and the same expression crossed his features.
"Shit," he muttered.
Suddenly, a group of infected people rounded the corner and spotted the two of you. You both took off running, desperate to avoid becoming their next meal.
"Dead end!" you yelled at Dean, but neither of you had time to figure out your next move. The infected people are still behind you when a heavily armed military unit opened fire on the group.
The commotion gave you and Dean the time you needed to escape. The two of you stayed hidden until nightfall. When you emerged, you noticed a sign on the fence surrounding the entrance to the city.
"Dean," you said softly, pointing to the sign. "Croatoan Hot Zone."
He stepped forward to get a better look. "August 1st, 2014? How...?"
"Great," you muttered. "So we're in the future."
"Apparently...and it ain't pretty."
You shared a look and muttered "Angels," in unison.
You managed to find an abandoned car that still had gas, so Dean hot-wired it and the two of you sped off. You were desperately trying to find a cell signal or even a radio signal when Zachariah made an appearance in the backseat of the car.
"I thought I smelled your stink on this Back to the Future crap," Dean growled.
In response, Zachariah simply began to read a Newspaper he'd brought with him. The headlines were dark, detailing some of the terrible events that had occurred in this morbid future.
"How the hell did you find us?" Dean asked in annoyance.
"Human informants from some of the fringier religious groups," Zachariah answered.
"That guy on the street last night," you said to Dean, who nodded.
"Send us back. Now," Dean demanded.
"No can do. The two of you are staying put in 2014 for a few days so you can see exactly what happens to the world if Dean continues to say no to Michael."
"You're an ass," you muttered.
Dean smirked a little. "As much as I love having (Y/N/N) as my copilot, why'd you have to drag her into this?"
"Don't worry, she'll be fine," Zachariah said with a wave of his hand. "She's here because she might be the only person who can convince you to do the right thing. She needs to see just how bad it gets almost as much as you need to."
Before either you or Dean could respond, Zachariah disappeared, zapping himself back to wherever the hell he hung out.
"Have I mentioned how much I hate angels?" you mumbled under your breath.
Dean simply nodded. "Me too, sweetheart."
"Where we headed?"
"Bobby's."
You kept your thoughts to yourself. Dean didn't need you to tell him it was unlikely Bobby had survived this, especially being wheelchair-bound. He wasn't a fool, but you knew it was better to let him have just a little bit of hope.
**********
As expected, Bobby's house was empty, save for his wheelchair and an absolute mess of junk. Dean was silent as he surveyed the room, putting the wheelchair back upright with a sad sigh.
He went to the mantel behind Bobby's desk and pried it open, pulling out Bobby's old journal. In it, he found a picture of several men with shotguns posing in front of a sign for Camp Chitaqua, Bobby and Cas among them.
He held the picture up for you to see and you exhaled softly. "Road trip?"
He nodded and the two of you headed for the camp. You managed to sneak past the guards, but as you were making your way farther into the camp, Dean grabbed your arm.
You followed his gaze and realized his once-beautiful Impala was parked off to the side completely junked out.
"Oh not you too, Baby," he whispered as he leaned forward to inspect the car.
You would have laughed if you hadn't been staring down the barrel of your own future.
"Dean--" the rest of your sentence was silenced as you fell to the ground, knocked unconscious by someone behind you.
The man was fast enough that both you and Dean were unconscious without a single sound.
When your eyes fluttered open some time later, you found yourself seated in a wooden chair, wrists gently bound to the arms. You saw Dean sitting on the floor a few feet away from you, arms cuffed to a ladder bolted to the floor. He wasn't moving and you whispered his name in worry.
"So you're awake." Had you not been staring at Dean when you heard the voice, you would have been certain it had been him talking.
You looked around, jaw dropping as Dean stepped out from his place against the wall behind you. It was Dean, but it wasn't your Dean. His face looked a little more haggard and the light in his eyes was dimmed almost to extinction.
"Who--how--?" you tried to ask.
"I could ask you the same question."
You looked back over at Dean's unconscious form and the other Dean sighed.
"He'll be fine...as long as you answer some questions. I know neither of you are some kind of supernatural creature--trust me, I tried all the tests. But he carries every weapon on him that I do and well--there's a striking resemblance." He trailed off for a moment. "Then there's you...any chance you can explain why you look like my dead wife's identical twin?"
You were saved from responding by the sounds of your Dean stirring. "What the hell?" he muttered as he realized he was cuffed in place.
"Thanks for joining us," the other Dean stated. "I was just asking your friend here why you look like my doppelgänger. Care to share?"
Dean looked between you and the older version of himself and sighed slowly. "Probably because I am you--well, the you from 2009. And she's (Y/N) from 2009. We were dragged here to 2014 courtesy of Zachariah."
Future Dean nodded. "Sounds like something he would do. He always was a dick."
You smirked a little, appreciating that somethings never changed. However, your mind was still reeling from the words Future Dean had said to you mere seconds before your Dean had woken up...dead wife.
"As much as I'd like to believe you, I need to be sure." Future Dean crouched down in front of your Dean, eyes narrowed slightly. "Tell me something only we would know."
Your Dean flicked his gaze to you for a moment before turning back to meet his own stare. "We were 19. Rhonda Hurley made us try on her satin panties. They were pink. And you know what? We kinda liked it."
You giggled lightly at his admission and Future Dean cracked a small smile and muttered, "Touché."
Future Dean stood back up, turning his attention to you. You were surprised to see the sadness in his green eyes--a look you'd only ever seen once before.
"You haven't looked at me like that since Jo and Ellen died," you said softly.
Future Dean grimaced. "A lot has happened in the past five years, (Y/N). I carry a hell of a lot more weight than I did in 2009."
You waited for him to continue, as you knew he would.
"A lot of shit happened--really bad shit. The apocalypse, demons, releasing the Croatoan virus...we lost a lot of good people, people I cared about." He sighed heavily and ran a hand over his face. "Three years ago, a small team of us tried to infiltrate a demon lair in an attempt to get Lucifer's location. I led one team, (Y/N) led the other. I don't know how, but they knew we were coming. I couldn't get my whole team out, but (Y/N)--she-she fought until the very end. She made certain her whole team made it out of there alive."
Your breath caught in your chest as you let his words sink in. You could hear the heartbreak in his voice, even though it was obvious he was trying to hide it. Your Dean let out a soft pained sound and you felt the strong urge to go to him, but the ropes around your wrists held you in place.
Future Dean continued, "When I found out they'd left her behind, I went back...the demons had already cleared out, having gotten what they wanted. I found her..." He trailed off, gaze finally raising to meet yours. "I found you...broken and bleeding. I held you in my arms as you took your last breath. I carried you back home and I built your pyre. I wouldn't let anyone else near you. I lost something that day I could never replace, and it changed me forever."
"Dean," you whispered softly. Tears filled your (y/e/c) eyes as you stared into his mossy green ones. "I'm so sorry."
He almost laughed at your response. "I just told you that you die because of me and you're the one who's sorry?" He let out a pained chuckle. "You always did love me more than I deserved."
Your expression was soft and your smile even softer. "I don't blame you. It doesn't matter why or how it happened--it wasn't your fault. I make my own choices, as you well know. So if I chose to stay behind to save other people, then that was my decision and the consequences are for me to bear."
He closed his eyes for a few moments, allowing your words to wash over him. He'd never even imagined he would have the pleasure of hearing your voice again, let alone see your smile, or hear your laugh. He felt his armor crack just enough that a sliver of the Dean you had always loved shone through. It terrified him, your ability to affect him even now, but he knew his love for you had never dimmed and never would.
"What about Sam?" your Dean asked, breaking the silence.
"There was a heavy weight showdown in Detroit a few years back. From what I heard, Sam didn't make it out."
"From what you heard?" Dean asked in shock. "You mean you weren't with him?"
"We hadn't spoken since 2009."
You had your own opinions on Dean's decision to part ways with Sam and you'd been very vocal about it. You could tell by your Dean's expression that he was shocked and guilty about how that decision had played out.
Future Dean turned his gaze to you and you saw the same regret in his eyes that you'd seen in your Dean's. But something about his expression and the intensity of his gaze made you wonder if he was regretting the same thing as your Dean.
Future Dean exhaled slowly and averted his eyes again, pulling his invisible mask back down. "I have a mission, so I have to go. The two of you are going to stay here for the time being. I can't have the younger version of me running around the camp and there are quite a few people here that remember you, (Y/N). So stay here and don't cause any trouble."
You shot a look to your Dean who grumbled something about being left chained up. Future Dean gave you one last sad look before going out the door and leaving you two behind.
"How long until you get yourself out of those cuffs?" you teased softly.
"How long until you squeeze your hands out of that rope future me barely tied?" Dean sniped back.
You smiled and shifted your left hand so you could grab ahold of the knot Future Dean had tied. It took you less than 10 seconds to get it untied and even fewer to release your other hand.
Dean shot you a grin. "That's my girl."
You rolled your eyes, scanning the room for something to pick the handcuff lock with. "You're the one who didn't tie them tightly."
"Future me," he emphasized. "Clearly he's got a soft spot for you."
You smirked. "So do you." Your eyes landed on a small pen knife sitting on the table. You grabbed it, holding it up for him to see.
His eyes sparkled with several different emotions and you knew he was reeling from everything you'd just learned. Hell, you were busy compartmentalizing all of your emotions so you didn't fall apart.
"Yeah," he whispered. "I do."
You offered him a sweet smile before leaning down to his level and picking the lock on his cuffs with the pen knife. As soon as he was free, you helped him to his feet.
"Okay, I'm gonna go have a look around," he said. "You stay here."
"Dean--" you started to protest.
"Hey, it's not like I don't want you with me, but you heard what future me said...there are people here who will recognize you--people who know you're dead."
You sighed, knowing he was right. "Fine. Why don't you go first, make sure it's clear, then I'll follow you."
Dean glared at you for a long moment, before his expression softened. He knew this wasn't a battle he was going to win. "Alright. Just stay out of sight, okay? I don't need one of these trigger-happy yahoos shooting you because they think you're a monster or something."
You nodded your agreement and Dean slowly opened the door to the cabin. You stay inside until he beckoned you to join him. You stayed close to the edge of the cabin as you waited for him to gesture for you to follow.
Just as Dean rounded the corner, Chuck Shirley stepped directly into his path, stopping him in his tracks. You stayed back, back pressed against the side of the cabin.
"Uh, hey there Chuck," Dean said.
Chuck started to ask him about what they should do about a shortage of perishable items and hygiene products before realizing Dean was supposed to be out on a mission.
"Yeah, I-uh-I was gonna head out now," Dean lied.
Suddenly, a woman crossed into your field of vision and swung a punch and a kick at Dean. He jumped back and grabbed Chuck, pulling him in-between himself and the angry woman.
Your instincts screamed for you to help him, but you knew you needed to stay hidden. You listened as the woman, Risa, yelled at Dean for spending the night in another woman's cabin the night before.
"You said we had a connection," she snapped.
You almost laughed at that--it was exactly the kind of thing Dean would say to a woman to appease her.
You watched as Risa angrily stomped away and Dean exhaled in relief. He quickly asked Chuck if Cas is around and he gestured to a cabin close by. "I don't think he's going anywhere," Chuck said lightly as he walked off.
As soon as he was out of sight, Dean's gaze landed on you and he waved at you to follow him. You followed closely behind as he entered the cabin, staying just out of sight of anyone inside.
You could hear Cas's voice, but it sounded different than you remembered it being--softer and maybe even lazier than before.
He must have spotted Dean because you heard him acknowledge him as their "fearless leader". You heard Cas tell the women in the room to wash up and prepare for the orgy.
A group of girls walked by you and Dean as you both step into the room.
"Orgy?" Dean asked incredulously.
Castiel simply shrugged as he regarded both of you. "(Y/N)," he murmured quietly. "This is a surprise."
You sighed. "I'd imagine so. I hear I'm dead."
"Indeed you are." Castiel's gaze landed on Dean. "And you're not the Dean of this time. When are the two of you from?"
"2009," you answered.
"Zachariah sent us here," Dean added.
"Ahh," Cas mumbled. "I shouldn't be surprised."
"Okay, so nice to see you and all that, but can you zap us back please?" Dean asked.
Cas giggled slightly and Dean's gaze narrowed in annoyance.
"Dude, are you stoned?"
"Generally, yeah," Cas replied.
Dean looked over at you, but you were just as surprised as he was. You shrugged and Dean let out a quiet groan.
"I don't have powers anymore," Cas said simply. "When the end came, the angels just left...bored with their playthings, I guess. When they left, so did my powers."
"Oh great," Dean muttered.
"Dean," you said in a warning tone. "Don't."
Cas smiled at you and crossed the room to give you a hug. You were a little surprised, but you returned the gesture.
"It's good to see you, (Y/N). You were always the only person who could keep Dean in line."
You couldn't help the chuckle that escaped you at his words. "We've had the pleasure of meeting the Dean of this time. I imagine he's not exactly one to defer to anyone."
For a moment Castiel's expression grew wistful, as if remembering a better time. "He used to, but he changed rather significantly when you died. It's been three years and he still hasn't gotten over your death. He's not the same Dean you knew."
You glanced at your Dean and exhaled softly. "Knowing him, he's just hid that part of himself so far down he's forgotten it even exists."
Dean's gaze met yours and you knew you were right. You could see it is eyes--he knew exactly what losing you would do to him. He knew the kind of man he would become.
Cas glanced back and forth between the two of you and shook his head. "You always could read each other's minds. It's nice to see that again. But I am curious, how did our Dean handle meeting the two of you?"
"Not well," you admitted.
"Pretty sure he was happier to see you than he was to see me," Dean muttered.
You chuckled mildly. "Well I'm the dead one, so it seems fitting."
Dean winced and you placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. He tried to smile at you, but the pain in his gaze ensured the expression didn't meet his eyes.
Before any of you could utter another word, the sound of trucks pulling up sounded from outside the cabin. You let Dean walk out first, followed by Cas. You opted to remain in the shadows just inside the doorway. You could see what was happening outside without being noticed.
You saw Future Dean getting out of one of the trucks and tossing a beer to another man. They cracked them open and the other man turned his back on Dean.
You watched in horror as Future Dean raised his pistol, pointing it at the man's back. Your Dean ran out, yelling for him to stop, but it was too late. Future Dean pulled the trigger and the man fell to the ground.
Future Dean whirled around, coming face to face with your Dean, eyes full of anger. As Dean began to argue with Future Dean, you ran out in an attempt to calm both men. Castiel grabbed your arm, stopping you in your tracks.
The gasps and shocked faces of the people around you reminded of you of the position you'd just put yourself in. Most people were staring at your Dean in confusion, but several gazes had landed on you. You recognized a few of the faces and you knew in your heart these people had known you--the other you.
Future Dean gestured to your Dean and said, "Me and him--it's messed up, okay? But if you need to know something, then I'll tell you when you need to know it."
As Future Dean glanced around, he noticed some people were not looking at him--or at his doppelgänger. He followed one person's gaze and his body froze when his eyes landed on you. Even though he'd known you were here, it was still painfully jarring to see you.
What was worse, was he wasn't sure how to explain your presence--too many people had known you. A few of them had been there when you'd died.
You locked eyes with Future Dean and your heart ached for him. You could see the turmoil in his eyes and the difficulty he was having formulating any kind of words to address your presence. He might not be your Dean, but you still loved him--after all, he was the man your Dean would one day become.
You stepped forward, gently pulling yourself from Castiel's grasp. "Dean," you whispered softly, sad eyes meeting his.
"Some of you might remember my wife, (Y/N)," Future Dean said calmly. "I'm not prepared to explain her presence to all of you, but just know that she's not here to cause any harm."
His statement seemed to appease most of the small gathering, but you saw some darker expressions cross the faces of a few people in the crowd.
Future Dean stepped forward and grabbed your Dean by the jacket, practically dragging him towards his cabin. His gaze landed on you and he gestured for you to follow.
"Didn't I tell both of you to stay put?" he growled as he closed the door behind him.
Your Dean began to argue, but he was silenced by Future Dean's anger.
"He was infected, okay? I've been doing this a long time and you learn to see the signs. I did what I had to do."
"We know that," you said softly.
Both men looked at you in surprise, but your gaze was firmly on Future Dean's face. You wanted him to know you understood--you weren't even sure why.
"You didn't need to kill him in front of everyone," your Dean commented.
Future Dean's gaze cut to him like a blade. "Yeah because seeing my freaking clone and my dead wife was so much better."
Your Dean opened his mouth to continue the argument, but Future Dean cut him off.
"The last thing these people need is to see me arguing with you, okay? They're twitchy survivors who can't handle this. This is my time, not yours, so stay in your lane."
Dean backed off, realizing Future Dean was right. He was nothing more than an observer in this time and he needed to act like it.
Future Dean pulled out three glasses and poured a drink for each of you. Your eyes scaned his face, keen senses picking up on the emotions clearly stirring beneath the calm surface. You wanted to talk to him, get him to open up, but you knew this wasn't the time.
"So what was the mission for?" you asked gently.
Future Dean gave you an appreciative look. "Five years of searching--five long years and I finally found it." He pulled something out of his jacket and laid it on the table. "The Colt."
"How?" your Dean asked in surprise.
"Demons have been moving it around for years, but we finally got good intel on its location."
You felt uneasy as you regarded him. You couldn't read him as well as you could your Dean, but you knew he was thinking about something--something you weren't going to like. "What's your plan?" you asked warily.
"Tomorrow night," he said, dark gaze fixed on your face, "I'm gonna kill the devil."
Shock lit up both your's and your Dean's faces. "We have no idea if the Colt's gonna work!" you protested, fear lacing your voice.
"It's our only shot and I'm gonna take it," he countered.
You glanced at your Dean and you could tell he didn't like the sound of this plan any more than you did. Sure, you both wanted to find the Colt in your time and kill the devil so none of this would happen, but there was no way to know if it would work. No one had ever tried it on an archangel before.
"Can I speak to my wife alone for a moment?" Future Dean asked, further shocking you both.
"I, uhh--" you stuttered.
Your Dean looked at you sympathetically, a sad expression settling onto his face. You knew what the look meant, so you weren't surprised to hear him agree. He stepped outside, leaving you and Future Dean alone.
"You know it's hard for me," he began, "seeing you after all this time."
"It's not easy on me either," you admitted, "seeing the man you become...and knowing I'm not going to be with you much longer."
He looked down in shame. "I know I'm not the man you love." He gestured to where your Dean stood outside. "I'm not him. But I have never stopped loving you--never stoped missing you."
You closed your eyes for a moment. "I know. I can feel it."
"I knew you would," he said softly. "I'm sure knowing what the future has in store for both of us isn't something you'd expected to see."
You shook your head. "I certainly didn't expect to hear you call me 'your wife'."
A small smirk played across his lips. "You get your priorities straight when the world is about to end. Marrying you was the best thing I ever did."
You smiled slowly, but your heart ached too much to continue this train of discussion. "So why did you want to speak alone?"
He inhaled deeply. "I wanted to talk to you without him around to persuade you otherwise."
"Persuade me to do what, exactly?"
His gaze was intense as he stepped towards you. If you didn't know him, it would have frightened you. "When you go back to 2009, I want you to pack up your things and leave. Leave me as far behind as you can--run and never look back."
A mixture of shock and sorrow darkened your features. "I-I can't do that."
He reached out and grabbed your hands, squeezing them tightly. "You have to, (Y/N)," he pleaded. "It's the only way I can keep you safe--alive."
You shook your head. "I can't leave you."
He caressed your cheek gently, his calloused hands molding perfectly to your face. "I need you to do this for me, sweetheart. I know it won't be easy and I-he won't understand, but it's for the best. He'll realize it in the end."
"Marrying me was the best thing you've ever done, but you want to deny yourself that joy? Deny me?"
"I would rather suffer a thousand deaths than watch you die again. It almost killed me, (Y/N). Hell, in a way it kinda did. I'm not that man anymore, and I don't want that for him."
You touched his face gently, fingers grazing against the rough stubble on his cheek. "You're wrong, you know. I can see him in you. You might be older, damaged in ways I can't understand, but the man I love lives in you. You and I both know Dean is going to tell me the same thing when we get back to 2009. It will break his heart, but he will beg me to leave if there's even a remote chance it will save my life."
His expression told you exactly how right you were.
"Looks like you haven't changed all that much--at least not in the ways that matter."
A flicker of pain crossed his face, but he was quick to hide it. He loved you so much it hurt and he knew there was no hope for him. He had to believe that the Dean from 2009 would heal from losing you, especially if it meant you got to live.
"Sometimes, I'll lie awake at night and stare at your picture--talk to it, even. I dream of you often and it breaks my heart every time I wake up to find you're not there. I miss you with every part of my tattered soul."
"Dean..." you whispered, leaning into him.
"I know you don't love me, but I need you to know how deeply I love you, even now. You hold my heart in the palm of your hand, (Y/N). You always have."
You stood on your tip-toes and brushed your lips across his cheek. "You are him," you whispered lowly. "I love him, so I love you. Five years of hell on earth doesn't change that."
Tears filled his eyes and he pulled you tightly against him. He never wanted to let you go, no matter what the cost. He felt conflicted about loving you so much, but he knew without a doubt in his mind that the 2009 version of himself would understand.
He pressed a kiss to the top of your head before settling his chin down against it. He loved the way you fit in his arms, as if you were made for them. He wanted you so badly it hurt--an ache so deep in his bones he knew he would never be rid of it.
It took all of his strength--all his willpower--to pull away, releasing you and taking a step back.
You looked up at him with compassionate (y/e/c) eyes, wanting nothing more than to comfort him, heal his pain. You hadn't been lying when you said you loved him. You could feel the man you loved beneath the hardened exterior, and it broke your heart to see him in so much pain.
Your eyes scanned his face again, but he couldn't meet your gaze. You knew his body ached for your touch--you knew because your Dean had always been that way. It had been three years since Future Dean had felt your body against his, so you knew exactly how much it was killing him.
You sighed, glancing out the little window at the front of the cabin. Your Dean stood out there, shoulders set in that stern way you were used to seeing. Your heart ached for him--you knew it was hard for him to be in this situation. You loved him more than you'd ever thought possible and you knew he felt the same. Seeing the way his future self looked at you likely made him contemplate things he shouldn't have had to bear.
"Stay here," you whispered to Future Dean. You stepped past him, heading for the door.
Future Dean watched as you exited, eyes fixated on the way you moved--desperately trying to commit every inch of you to memory.
"Hey," your Dean said softly as you stepped outside. "You okay?"
"Not really," you admitted. "You?"
He gave you a sad smile and shook his head. "This is a lot harder than I thought it would be."
"I know."
"No, sweetheart, I don't think you do," he said gently, but firmly. "You have an idea, sure, but you don't know--not the way I do. I can see it on his face--on my face. The way he misses you, the love he so clearly feels for you...the emptiness inside of him only you can fill. I know all of those feelings, (Y/N). I can't even fathom the pain of losing you. It hurts to even think about."
You touched his arm gently and he leaned into the touch as if on instinct.
"I know what he's feeling, even if I can't fully experience it myself. I know the devastation I would feel if I lost you--I don't think I'd ever fully recover. Add to that all the loss he's experienced in the last five years and I can understand why he's the way he is. I see myself in him...and I can see myself becoming him."
Dean turned his full attention to you and his next words shocked you to your very core.
"He needs you, (Y/N). I have a bad feeling about tomorrow night and I think you might be the only thing that stops him from doing something reckless. It pains me to say this--to give you up, even for a moment, but he needs you. I know it might feel weird, wrong even, but he's me...and I get him, more than I'd care to admit."
Your lips parted in surprise. "I-I don't know if I can do that, Dean."
He touched your face gently and pressed a soft kiss to your lips. "He's me, (Y/N)...and he needs you. You're his wife, after all. So go."
Your eyes scanned his face for any sign of discomfort, but you only saw sadness. Part of you hated this idea, but the other part knew he was right. You'd felt it when you'd been with Future Dean--felt his need for you so strongly it nearly overwhelmed you.
"I love you," you whispered.
"I know, sweetheart. I love you too."
He nodded towards the cabin and gave you a soft smile. You stepped away, knowing you were about to do something that felt both incredibly wrong and incredibly right at the same time.
"Where will you go?"
"I'll hang out with Cas. Don't worry about me, baby."
You nodded and watched him walk away towards Castiel's cabin. You took a deep breath and steeled yourself before turning to the door in front of you.
Future Dean seemed almost surprised to see you as you stepped back into the cabin.
"Hi," you murmured.
"Hey."
"I can't walk away," you whispered. "Not when you're in so much pain."
He looked at you in confusion, unsure of what you were trying to tell him.
You were typically so good with words, but whatever skill you normally had failed you as you looked into his haunted green eyes. There was no way for you to fully understand the emotions he was feeling, no words to explain how desperately you wanted to heal even the smallest fraction of his soul.
You crossed the short distance between you, practically crashing into him as you grabbed the edges of his jacket and pulled him down to you. The kiss surprised him, but he was in no position to pull away--wrong or not, he craved you like a drowning man in need of air.
His arms wrapped around you and pulled you flush against him, holding on for dear life as he deepened the kiss. It felt as if you were both engulfed in flames, every sensation burning you both--scarring you in a way neither of you would ever heal from.
His hands traveled down your back, slipping under your ass to pull you up into his arms. You wrapped your legs around his waist, lips never leaving his.
He carried you to a small room at the back of the cabin and laid you down as gently as he could onto the mattress. There was no bed--simply a mattress on the floor, but there were blankets and a couple pillows, just enough to be comfortable.
Your hands slid inside his jacket, pushing it off his shoulders forcefully. His lips didn't leave yours as he tugged it off and tossed it out of the way. You pulled on his henley, silently begging him to take it off too, a request he immediately complied with.
He had to pull away from you just long enough to tug the shirt over his head, but the action was enough to ground him. As he gazed down at you, his heart clenched in his chest. You were just as beautiful as he remembered, eyes full of love and adoration--an expression he'd missed desperately.
"I love you so much, (Y/N/N)," he said quietly.
Your expression softened slightly, realizing the pain he was feeling--the mixed emotions racing through his veins. "I love you too, Dean. Don't question that for a second."
He closed his eyes for a moment, leaning into the palm of your hand as you reached up to cup his cheek.
"Get out of your head, baby," you murmured. "Focus on me--on this moment--nothing else."
His eyes slowly opened, gaze landing on your face. You began to blush beneath him, his hungry expression heating you from the inside out.
"You're wearing far too much clothing for my taste," he teased, voice low and throaty.
You smirked. "I know you like to rip my clothes off, but these are my only ones--so be gentle."
He groaned, just like you knew he would. Dean was notorious for literally ripping your clothes--he'd ruined more shirts and pants than you cared to admit...not to mention most of your undergarments.
"How 'bout we make a deal?" he murmured.
You hummed in response, so he continued.
"I'll promise not to rip your pants or your underwear, if you're willing to forfeit your shirt."
You looked up at him in surprise. "I don't have another shirt, Dean."
He grinned wolfishly. "But I do."
Realization crossed your features, a small smile curling the corners of your mouth. Before you could respond, he gripped your shirt in his strong hands and tore it right in half, revealing your heaving chest.
"Dean!" you admonished in surprise.
"Sorry, baby--I couldn't wait any longer. You know how impatient I get."
As if to emphasize his impatience, he lowered his mouth to your chest, tugging the cups of your bra down to expose your soft breasts. He groaned loudly before burying his face between them, nipping and sucking at the supple flesh.
You moaned softly, fingers of one hand tangling in the short locks at the base of his skull. Your other hand slipped down his broad back feeling the heated skin beneath the tips of your fingers.
You felt unfamiliar scars, which nearly brought tears to your eyes. You hated the idea of him being hurt--especially if you weren't there to care for him as he healed.
Dean sensed your shift in demeanor and he lifted his head to observe your face. "You okay, baby?"
His soft words brought you back to the present and you offered him a small smile. "New scars," you whispered.
You didn't need to elaborate, he knew exactly what you meant. He could read you just as well as you could read him. "You were there for most of them," he murmured gently.
You relaxed slightly and he sighed before placing a soft kiss to your forehead.
"You know me too well," you remarked.
"You're the love of my life, sweetheart. There's not a damn thing I don't know about you."
Tears pricked at the back of your eyes and you desperately pushed the welling emotions down, choosing instead to focus on the here and now. "I need you, Dean," you whispered. "Desperately."
He had never been one to deny you, and he certainly wasn't going to start now. Besides, his own need was slowly becoming unbearable.
"I'm right here, baby. I'll make you feel so good--I promise."
He wasted no time in removing the rest of your clothing and his own. He wanted to take his time, really feel you, but he knew time was the one thing neither of you had.
"I need to taste you," he whispered into your ear before beginning his descent to your aching pussy.
Some things may have changed in the last five years, but Dean's skills in the bedroom hadn't. The things he could do with his mouth should have been categorized as a crime--his ability to have you screaming and shaking within minutes was still a shock after all this time.
He loved the way you tasted, the way your body reacted to his touch, the pretty sounds you made as he feasted on you. There wasn't a damn thing he didn't love about you, but he had to admit this was in the top five things he missed most about you. The way your body melded with his--two souls intertwining in the most fundamental way, the overwhelming pleasure he could only find in your arms...he'd be a liar if he said he hadn't dreamed of it often in the last three years.
Your nails dug into his biceps as you desperately clung to any part of him you could reach. Your orgasm swept over you seconds later, pulling moans and whimpers from your throat as he continued his assault.
Dean ignored the tugs on his hair, instead holding your hips even more firmly against the mattress as he continued to eat your pussy hungrily. It took mere moments for your whimpers to once again turn to heavy moans of need--your voice hoarse from begging him to keep going.
When your second orgasm crashed into you, your legs shook almost violently against his head, thighs threatening to crush him. He couldn't have been bothered to care--had you actually crushed him in that moment, he would have died a happy man.
He finally relented when you began begging him to give you a moment--just one moment to breathe. He lifted himself up to hover over you, licking his lips happily as he gazed down at you.
"You seem pleased with yourself," you said breathlessly.
"Oh I am." The pride he was feeling practically oozed from his pores. Nothing stroked his ego like making you fall apart over and over again.
You ran your hands up and down his arms in a gentle, soothing manner. He'd always loved the way you touched him--the sweet, loving action something he hadn't been used to before you.
"I love you," he whispered.
You met his gaze and smiled. "All my heart and all my soul, Dean Winchester. Always."
The reply stunned him into a motionless silence. It had been years since he'd heard those words from your lips--he never thought he would be lucky enough to hear them again. In that moment, he felt like his heart had been ripped from his chest, torn apart, and put back together...it hurt like hell, but he wouldn't have traded the moment for anything.
You noticed the change in him and you worried you'd said something wrong. "I'm sorry--"
"Don't apologize," he said immediately. "I just...I haven't heard those words in years and--well, it hit me harder than I thought it would. That was, umm--" he sighed heavily. "It was the last thing you said to me before you died."
His voice was a gravelly whisper, filled with unimaginable pain, and it nearly broke your heart in two. "Dean..." you murmured.
"You have no idea how badly I've wanted to hear those words again--to hear your sweet voice remind me how much you love me. I missed you, sweetheart."
You couldn't have known how he'd react to your statement--hell, you hadn't even thought about it...the words just poured from your mouth like they had countless times before. It didn't matter what year he was from--you loved Dean Winchester with a kind of endless passion that would outlive Death himself.
You knew this experience would change you in ways you couldn't yet comprehend, but you wouldn't change it for anything. At the end of the day, this was Dean, and there was nothing you wouldn't do for him--nothing.
"Make love to me, Dean," you whispered lovingly, eyes bright with desire.
"I could never deny you, (Y/N/N)," he said sweetly. "I won't start now."
He leaned down to kiss you deeply, pulling you back into the warm embrace you craved. As the kiss progressed, your bodies became more entangled, until it was impossible to tell where one of you ended and the other began. It was a feeling you'd only ever felt with Dean, and one you couldn't have explained even if you tried.
After what seemed like an eternity, Dean finally broke the kiss, breathing deeply. "I can't hold back any longer. I need you more than I need to breathe, (Y/N)."
"I'm yours, Dean."
The simple act of giving yourself over to him completely had him wanting to do nothing but worship you until the sun came up again.
He didn't hesitate, didn't overthink--your body was calling to him and he answered it gladly. In one single thrust, he buried himself fully inside you, eliciting sharp groans from you both.
"Fuck, sweetheart--I forgot how incredible you feel," he whispered against your heated skin.
You were breathless and aching, the desire for him to ruin you so overwhelming you couldn't think of anything else. "Move," you pleaded desperately, nails digging into his shoulder blades.
His body mindlessly responded to your pleas, hips setting an almost brutal pace. You both needed this--needed the release that could only come from each other.
You clung to him and he to you, the room filling with the salacious sounds of wet skin against skin and moans of endless pleasure.
"I love the sounds you make when I'm inside you, baby," he groaned. "I fucking missed them so much."
"You feel so good, Dean," you gasped.
"So do you, sweetheart."
And fuck did you feel incredible. He loved you so much and you felt it in every single movement his body made. You hoped he could feel just how much you loved him in return.
"You're the only woman who could ever make me feel like this," he whispered.
You knew exactly what he meant--what he was trying to say. Sex had always been different with you. It had always felt more incredible than with anyone else he'd ever been with. The profound bound the two of you shared made everything better--even sex.
"I never want you to stop," you murmured. "It feels so good."
"Shit," he groaned, your words having more of an affect on him then he'd expected. "Keep talking like that and I'm gonna cum."
"That's what I want, Dean. Want you to fill me up."
He practically growled as he bit down on your collar bone, hips slowing as he tried to regain his composure. "Need you to cum first," he begged.
You rolled your hips against his in response and the sensations he was experiencing snapped whatever remained of his self-control. He grabbed your legs and tugged them flush against his chest and began to pound into you recklessly.
His cock slammed into your g-spot with each thrust, pulling sharp cries of pleasure from your open mouth. Your hands grasped at the blankets beneath you, struggling desperately to find purchase anywhere.
He knew he could get you over the edge this way--he knew your body almost as well as he knew his own. Within a few short minutes, your cries of pleasure turned to screams of his name as one of the most intense orgasms of your life hit you like a tsunami.
Before you could come down from your high, Dean found his own, releasing his seed into your pussy. The contractions of your walls around him milked every last drop of cum from him before he collapsed on top of you, spent and satisfied.
Your arms immediately wrapped around him, holding him tightly against you. You could feel his heart beating rapidly against your chest and you were certain he could feel yours. There was nothing quite like the feeling of being in the arms of the person you love most.
"You're amazing, (Y/N)," he whispered into your neck.
"As are you," you mumbled, pressing your lips into his hair.
He held you almost as tightly as you were holding him and you knew he didn't want to ever let go. Your heart ached for the man in your arms just as much as it ached for the man currently sitting in Castiel's cabin.
Love was the most complicated emotion there was, but this far surpassed any normal situation. Dean Winchester was the love of your life in any time period--past, present, or future. You hated seeing the man you loved in pain and seeing two of him in pain complicated matters beyond belief.
"Where's your head at?" he asked softly.
You chuckled lightly--he really did know you better than anyone else.
"Just thinking about this messed up situation we've found ourselves in."
He sighed quietly. "Don't think on it too much, sweetheart. Zachariah will send you back tomorrow and everything will go back to normal."
"Except for the part where both present and future versions of you want me to leave..."
He lifted his head slowly. "It's too late for me...I'm too far gone, too deeply and madly in love with you to ever push you away. But the Dean from 2009? Yeah he loves you more than he's ever loved another person in his life, but he'll learn to live without you. He has to. Otherwise he'll wake up one day in 2011 without you and he'll feel the way that I do. He'll be forced to live with a hole in his chest that no human being could ever fill, and it'll change him, (Y/N). It'll break him."
Tears streamed down your face as you listened to his words. You knew they were true--knew it was how he was feeling, how he'd felt for years. You didn't want your Dean to feel that pain, but you knew deep in your heart you couldn't walk away. There was no timeline where you could turn your back on the one person that made life worth living...but this Dean didn't need to know that.
"No more talking," you said softly. "Let's just sleep a while."
He nodded and rolled over onto his back, taking you with him. You giggled softly as you nuzzled into his chest, finding comfort in his strong arms.
**********
You awoke to the sound of knocking on the door of the cabin. You felt Dean stir beside you, a grumble of annoyance slipping past his lips. You smiled a little at his moodiness--it was nice to see some things never changed.
You pulled yourself up and got dressed quickly, grabbing a clean henley from the small pile of clothes in the corner. It was much too big on you, but it was all you had thanks to Dean's impatience.
You opened the door of the cabin and found a somewhat sheepish looking Castiel standing on the other side.
"Is, uh, is Dean awake?"
"He mumbled something rather rude when I tried to wake him up, so I let him sleep."
Cas chuckled. "Sounds about right."
"I can wake him if you need him."
Cas looked like he wanted to say no, but knew he couldn't. "Yeah, if you don't mind. We need to start planning for tomorrow if we want this to work. People are starting to talk."
You sighed. "I'll get him up."
You stepped back, leaving the door open as an invitation for Cas to come inside. He chose not to, opting instead to wait on the porch while you went to wake Dean.
"Dean? Sweetheart?" you said gently. "You need to get up."
"Five more minutes," he grumbled.
You laughed and shook him a few times. "Come on, handsome. We've got work to do."
"Fine," he groaned. "Fine."
He sat up slowly, eyes dark with sleep. He looked up at you and you offered him a soft smile, which he instantly returned.
"You're so beautiful."
You blushed. "Get dressed before Cas comes in and sees your naked ass."
"He's probably seen it a couple times by now," he teased as he got up. "Now, where'd you put my pants?"
You laughed. "I think you threw them somewhere over there." You pointed to the other side of the room where a small pile of clothes laid.
He smirked slightly and crossed the room, grabbing his clothes and putting them on quickly.
"What's up, Cas?" he asked gruffly when he came into the main room.
"The team wants to know what's going down tomorrow and uh, past you says we need to start making a plan."
He shot you a look, but you simply shrugged. You weren't at all surprised your Dean wanted to make a plan. He didn't like this whole idea in the first place, so it made sense he would want some kind of plan in place.
"Fine. Gather the team and get them in here."
Cas went off to do as asked. The first person to arrive was your Dean. One look at his handsome face had you rushing to him and wrapping your arms around him. He buried his face in your hair and sighed softly.
"I know this is a little awkward," you said quietly to both Deans as you stepped back.
"Not as much as you would think," your Dean responded.
Future Dean nodded, but remained quiet for a few moments. He fixed your Dean with an intense gaze even you couldn't quite read. "Thank you," he said so softly you almost missed it.
Your Dean nodded his understanding. You realized it really was different for the two of them than it was for you. They were the same man five years apart...they understood each other's thoughts and emotions in a way you never could.
Before you could say anything else, Cas returned with Risa and a couple other people in tow. Risa gave both Deans an odd look before turning her dark gaze to you. You couldn't read her expression, but you felt the jealousy coming off her in waves.
"Well this is about to be uncomfortable," you murmured to your Dean, who just chuckled.
Everyone sat down around the table except for both Deans and yourself. You stood beside your Dean, and you both stood slightly back to give yourselves room to observe everyone.
Risa glared at Future Dean so intensely it made everyone uncomfortable. He gave her a confused look and simply asked, "Why are you pissed at me?"
"Something about you having a connection, but then spending the night in another chick's cabin," your Dean quipped.
You snickered softly, as did Cas. Future Dean shot a glare your way, but you simply shrugged.
"Plus your dead wife is magically not dead, so yeah, I feel some kinda way," Risa grumbled.
"The (Y/N) some of you knew is dead. This one is from 2009--same as him," Future Dean said, gesturing to your Dean. "Now that we've got that out of the way, can we please focus?"
No one dared argue with him.
Future Dean launched into his spiel about killing the devil, revealing the Colt to the other people in the room.
"How do you know it's gonna work?" Risa asked skeptically.
"It's all we've got," Future Dean answered. "We got Lucifer's location from that demon we captured last week. We know where he's gonna be for the first time in years."
"The demon might have lied for all you know," Risa snapped.
"Trust me, he was honest."
Castiel leaned towards Risa. "Dean is very well-versed in the art of getting to the truth."
You inhaled sharply, immediately understanding Castiel's meaning. Your Dean stiffened beside you and you felt the quiet rage simmering beneath the surface.
"Seriously? You went back to torture?" your Dean said angrily.
Future Dean looked at you, a resigned look of sadness on his face. You sighed and placed your hand on your Dean's arm and murmured, "Let it go, Dean."
He caught Future Dean's expression and fell silent again. There was no use arguing about his tactics now.
"Now," Future Dean said as he gestured to the map on the table. "We'll be heading in here."
"That's a hot zone," Cas said. "It's filled with Croats and demons--kinda reckless to just go barging in there don't you think?"
"Are you coming or not?" Future Dean asked, ignoring Cas's objections.
"Of course," Cas responded. "I've gotta ask though, why are they coming?" He nodded his head towards you and your Dean.
"I don't answer to you. Just know that they are coming."
Castiel put his hands up in surrender.
"Why don't you all go get supplies ready and recruit a couple more people," you suggested.
Future Dean nodded his agreement and the others left, leaving you and the Deans alone.
"Now why don't you try that again, but give an honest answer this time," you said sternly, eyes boring into Future Dean's face.
He sighed wearily. "I want you both to see what happened to Sam. Especially you." He pointed to the younger version of himself.
"What do you mean?" your Dean asked. "You said he died in Detroit."
"No, I didn't. I said he didn't make it out."
You exhaled sharply, heart nearly breaking as you realized what he was saying.
Future Dean fixed his gaze on you and you knew your assumption was correct. You instinctively reached out to your Dean in an attempt to ground him--you knew exactly how this information would affect him.
"What's going on?" your Dean asked, looking between you and his doppelgänger.
"He said yes," you whispered.
Future Dean nodded, but your Dean simply looked confused.
"The big yes," Future Dean said tiredly. "Lucifer wore him to the prom."
You gave your Dean a sad look. A flash of pain crossed his handsome features and your heart broke for him. You'd told him back in your time that he needed to forgive Sam--needed to mend their relationship. You didn't realize just how important that mending would be.
"He wouldn't do that," your Dean whispered.
You placed a comforting hand on his arm, but didn't bother to contradict him.
"Well he did," Future Dean snapped. "And when you go back, you need to say 'yes' to Michael. Immediately."
"Absolutely not!" you gasped.
Now it was Dean's turn to comfort you, his hand coming to rest on yours. "She's right. A showdown between Michael and Lucifer would torch half the planet."
"Half a planet is better than no planet," Future Dean insisted.
"If it's such a good idea, why didn't you say yes?" your Dean asked.
"Oh trust me, I tried. But by the time I was ready, the angels had given up and fucked off to wherever they are now."
"There has to be another way," your Dean whispered.
Future Dean fixed you with an expression that made everything clear to you.
"That's why you want me to leave," you began softly. "You know I would never approve of him saying yes to Michael. If I'm not around to influence him, then maybe he'll be foolish enough to say 'yes', right?"
Your Dean looked confused, but Future Dean held your gaze and you knew you were right.
"I really don't want you to die," he said gently. "But I also know exactly what you'll say...and I know the impact your words will have on my choices. Because I already made them."
"You told her to leave me?" your Dean asked slowly. "Even knowing what that'll do to me?"
"You'll both be better off."
"You don't get to make that call," you snapped.
Future Dean sighed and shook his head. "You'll both make your own decisions, but I just want you to have all the facts. Gear up. We move out in 20." With that he walked out the door, leaving you and your Dean alone.
"What if he's right?"
"About saying yes to Michael?" you asked in surprise.
Dean shook his head. "About it being better for you to leave."
You sighed quietly. "He's wrong...about all of it."
"I've seen what losing you did to me--to him...and I'm not sure that's something I can voluntarily experience."
You smiled. "I'm gonna do everything in my power to make sure you never have to."
Dean returned the smile and pulled you in closely. "I love you, (Y/N)."
"I love you too, Dean Winchester. Always."
**********
You were sitting in the backseat of the truck, listening to Cas tell your Dean about becoming human. It was weird for you to see Cas like this, hell he was driving. It was even harder to see how broken he had become and it only made you want to prevent this future even more.
You closed your eyes, desperate to fall asleep--to leave this fucked up, burned out world behind. You wanted to go home--to 2009. There was still time to change the future, to stop any of this from happening. You would give anything to stop it.
You must have fallen asleep because you were awoken by the gentle sound of your Dean's voice telling you it was time to wake up. You opened your eyes, surprised to see it was now light out.
"We're here, baby," he said softly.
You sighed deeply and nodded. You dragged yourself out of the truck and gathered your weapons along with the rest of the group. Your senses immediately told you something was off and one glance at your Dean told you he felt the same.
"Didn't you say this is a hot zone?" you asked Cas softly.
The former angel nodded.
"Then where are all the Croats?"
"Must be in another part of the city," he responded.
You and Dean exchanged a look, neither one of you believing his response.
Nevertheless, you followed the group, searching the rundown city for the building you were going to raid. When you found it, all of your hunter instincts screamed that something was wrong, but this time you weren't the first to voice it.
"Shouldn't there be a shit load of demons out here?" your Dean asked.
Future Dean shrugged. "They must all be inside."
His answer didn't satisfy you one bit, but you kept your mouth shut, choosing instead to observe him closely. The only person who knew Dean better than you was the man himself, which was proven moments later.
"Alright," Future Dean started. "You guys go in through the second story window. The three of us will sneak around back."
Risa looked more than a little concerned with the game plan. "Are you sure that's a good idea?"
She glanced over at Cas, who clearly agreed with her worry.
"Trust me, okay? They'll never see us coming," Future Dean assured them.
"Can I talk to you for a second?" your Dean said firmly, his words more a statement than a question.
Future Dean sighed, but stepped off to the side to speak with the two of you.
"You're lying to them," your Dean said lowly. "Don't deny it--I know your lying expressions, I've seen them in the mirror."
Future Dean sighed in annoyance and your Dean threatened to tell the team about his concerns, but Future Dean stopped him.
"I know it's a trap, alright? I'm not an idiot. They'll go in the front door and create a distraction while I sneak around the back."
"You're sacrificing your team?" you asked incredulously.
"They're your friends! And Cas? Come on, man--this isn't you," your Dean added.
"My inability to make the tough decisions is what got us here in the first place. Look around you--this is the end of everything," Future Dean growled. "It's my job to kill Lucifer and save what's left of this planet, so that's what I'm going to do."
"I can't let you do that," your Dean argued.
Instead of engaging in further discussion, Future Dean jabbed the butt of his gun into your Dean's head, knocking him unconscious instantly.
"Dean!" you yelled, unsure if you were calling for yours or yelling at the Future version.
"I have to do this, (Y/N)," he said softly. "I need you to understand."
Tears welled in your eyes. "I understand why you believe that, but I don't agree. It's not who you are, Dean...the man I fell in love with would never sacrifice the people he loves--not for anything."
Future Dean looked down at the ground in silence. When he lifted his head again, his face was hard--a mask of non-emotion.
"I'm doing what needs to be done," he said firmly. "Stay with him and stay out of the way."
You wanted to reason with him, but you knew there was no point in trying. Yes, he was still Dean, but you knew you would never be able to change his mind. He'd made his choices and he'd had to live with them. Now, he was just trying to make up for all the mistakes he believed he'd made.
"Go," you whispered.
He nodded and moved back to join the others. You watched everyone but Dean head to the front of the building, a feeling of sorrow weighing on your heart.
"Dean," you called softly, prompting him to turn to look at you. "Don't die."
He gave you the smallest of smiles and nodded before running towards the back of the building.
You dropped to your knees and shook your Dean firmly. "Dean, wake up!"
After a few minutes, he groaned and his eyes fluttered open. "Fuck," he mumbled.
"Hey!" You helped him into a sitting position. "You okay?"
"My head's killing me."
"He hit you pretty hard," you said gently.
The sound of gunfire urged him to his feet. "We gotta go."
You nodded and let him grab your hand as the two of you ran to the back of the building. You arrived to a terrifying scene--Future Dean was lying on the ground and a man in a white suit stood above him, his foot firmly on Dean's neck.
Future Dean made eye contact with you seconds before his neck snapped and the life left his face.
"No!" you screamed.
Your Dean grabbed you, pulling you back to keep you from rushing forward. Watching Dean die felt like having your own heart ripped out of your chest--it was a feeling you hoped you'd never have to relive.
The man turned around in surprise and your breath caught in your chest. Objectively, you'd known it was Lucifer--you'd known he'd be in Sam's body--but there was nothing quite like seeing it in person.
Dean instinctively pushed you behind him, putting his body protectively in front of yours.
"Dean, (Y/N)," Lucifer greeted calmly. "It's a surprise to see you here--especially since I killed you three years ago and well..." he looked down at Future Dean's body with a nonchalant shrug. "It must be a shock to see your brother like this."
"Why don't you just kill me now and get it over with?" Dean asked angrily.
"Well that would be redundant. I'll kill your lovely wife three years before I kill you," he said simply. "We will always end up here, Dean. This is the way our story ends."
"Deep-frying the planet and murdering billions of people? What a shitty story," Dean snapped.
Lucifer started to rant about loving God too much and being punished for it...but you'd stopped listening. You could feel the pain rolling off your sweet Dean in waves. You knew what he was thinking--he'd failed his brother and in doing so, destroyed the world.
"I'm not falling for that sympathy-for-the-devil crap!" Dean yelled, pulling you back to the present. "The only difference between you and the monsters I've hunted my whole life is the size of your ego."
If the situation had been different, you probably would have laughed. Dean's fearlessness was something you both loved and admired about him. What's more, you agreed with his sentiment.
Lucifer simply smiled. "I like you, Dean. I can see what the other angels see in you." His gaze landed on you and you felt the rage boiling under your skin. "No hard feelings, (Y/N). Your death was a means to an end--it broke what little humanity your precious Dean had left in him. It's what led us to this moment."
Lucifer turned to walk away, but Dean called after him. "You better kill me now or I won't stop until I find a way to kill you."
Lucifer's smile was cruel. "I know you'll try Dean, but I also know you'll never say 'yes' to Michael, and you'll never kill Sam. No matter what choices you make or details you change, your wife will die in 2011 and you and I will always end up right here."
"You're wrong," Dean whispered, eyes filling with pained tears.
You touched his arm gently, reminding him he wasn't alone. He leaned into your touch, but remained steadfastly in front of you--guarding you with every ounce of strength he had.
"I'll see you in two years, (Y/N)," Lucifer said with a condescending smile. "And I'll see you in five, Dean."
Before either of you could say a word, Lucifer vanished, leaving the two of you alone.
"Dean..." you whispered softly.
He turned to you, his expression full of agony. You reached for him just as Zachariah appeared and placed a hand against each of your foreheads, zapping you back to the hotel room in Kansas City, circa 2009.
Both of you turned to face the offending angel, anger your primary emotion in the moment.
"Now you know what's going to happen," Zachariah said, cutting off any rant either of you could start. "Your only option is to say 'yes' to Michael, otherwise billions of people are going to die."
"How do we know that wasn't just another one of your tricks?" you snapped.
"The time for tricks is over," Zachariah stated. "Saying 'yes' to Michael is the only way you can save the world--save (Y/N)--save your brother.
Dean turned to you, his face full of anguish. It made your heart clench in your chest and you worried for a moment he'd changed his mind.
"Nah," Dean said to Zachariah, jaw set in a firm line.
You smirked a little, watching Zachariah's facial expression turn to shock.
"Are you telling me you haven't learned your lesson?"
"Oh I learned my lesson," Dean countered. "Just not the one you wanted to teach me."
Zachariah stepped towards Dean menacingly. You instinctively stepped forward, more than willing to fight the angel to protect the man you loved. Dean placed a gentle hand on yours to let you know he wasn't scared.
"I have you exactly where I want you," Zachariah began. "I'm going to teach both of you a lesson until you get it through your thick skulls. Neither of you are going anywhere until you say 'yes'."
Dean's grip on your hand tightened and his mouth opened to give some sort of retort when you suddenly found yourself standing on the side of a highway. Dean's hand was still wrapped tightly around yours and a slightly confused Castiel stood a few feet in front of you.
"Excellent timing, Cas," Dean said in relief.
"We had an appointment," Cas stated matter-of-factly.
You chuckled softly and stepped forward to wrap the angel in a hug. He was slightly surprised by your actions, but he didn't pull away.
Dean placed a firm hand on Castiel's shoulder and offered him another smile. "Don't ever change."
You and Dean launched into the story of the last few days for you, and Castiel listened quietly.
"How did Zachariah find you?"
"Long story," Dean muttered. "But let's just stay away from Jehovah's Witnesses in the future."
You chuckled again and rolled your eyes affectionately.
Dean pulled out his phone and started to dial a number.
"What are you doing?" Cas asked.
"Something I should have done in the first place."
You smiled, knowing exactly what he was doing...and who he was calling. You were proud of him and you voiced the sentiment as soon as you were alone.
"Thanks, babe. Turns out you were right all along."
You grinned. "I'm always right."
Dean chuckled and rolled his eyes. "Alright sweetheart, calm down." His voice was light and teasing and it warmed you straight down to your soul.
"I love you, you dork."
He smiled and squeezed your hand. "I love you too."
You were both quiet for several minutes, just watching the road as Dean sped towards your next destination.
"It's still the apocalypse," Dean said suddenly.
"Mhmm," you hummed quietly.
"So you know...the world might still end."
"Hopefully not."
"Agreed, but I'm thinking maybe we should get married."
"What?" you said in shock.
Dean shrugged. "I'm just saying...you're my everything and I want everyone to know you're mine. Besides, if this world really does end, there's no one I wanna be with but you."
"You know, normally the guy gets down on one knee."
Dean chuckled. "I can do that as soon as I stop the car."
You laughed. "Typically there's a ring too."
He grinned. "Don't worry baby--I'll buy you a big diamond ring."
You smiled and grabbed his hand, squeezing it gently. "I don't really need a ring, Dean--and I don't need you to get down on one knee. If you're serious about it, then hell yeah--let's get married."
Dean looked at you hopefully. "I'm dead serious, babe."
You touched his cheek with a smile. "Then let's get married."
He looked at the straight stretch of road ahead, not a car in sight. He leaned over and kissed you quickly, the affectionate gesture expressing his emotions better than any words he could have said.
When he pulled back to face the road, you leaned across the seat and placed a soft kiss to his cheek. Your voice was low as you said the words that had become a mantra in your relationship, "All my heart and all my soul, Dean Winchester. Always."
His smile warmed your entire body--inside and out. It had been weird hearing Future Dean call you his wife...but your Dean proposing to you now, it just felt right.
You rode the rest of the way in a happier mood than you'd felt in a long time. Dean's mood was lighter too, but you both knew it wouldn't last. There was still a lot of darkness to come, but you were both determined to make sure there were happy moments. After all, love was one of the things that made life worth living.
A short time later, you sat on the trunk of the Impala, watching the man you loved apologize to his brother. You smiled warmly as you watched them, overjoyed at the steps they were both taking to make amends.
Dean turned towards you and waved you over. You hopped down and crossed the short distance, passing Dean to wrap Sam in a tight hug. The much larger man returned the gesture, the tension easing from his body.
"Glad to have you back, Sammy," you said as you stepped back.
"Thanks, (Y/N/N)."
"We're getting married," Dean said suddenly.
Sam's eyes widened in shock and you nearly laughed at Dean's sudden admission.
"End of the world and all that," Dean said sheepishly.
You chuckled and Sam expressed his congratulations.
"No matter what happens," you said softly. "We have each other--all three of us."
Both Winchesters nodded their agreement and Dean slipped his arm around you to pull you close.
"To hell with fate," Dean stated. "From now on, we make our own future."
You leaned into him with a smile, appreciating the sentiment more than you would have just a few days prior. At the end of the day, all you had was each other and the love that bonded all of you together. None of you knew exactly what the future held, but you'd be damned if you didn't fight for a future worth living for.
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fatecantstopme · 1 month
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Not Good Enough
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Pairing: Dean Winchester x plus size!reader
Summary: You overhear Dean say some hurtful things about you to Sam and decide you need to change, much to Dean's dismay.
Warnings: cursing, mutual pining, mentions of violence, body issues/esteem issues, past trauma, illusions to eating disorders and sexual assault. SMUT, oral (M and F receiving), unprotected sex (P in V), dom/sub vibes, dirty talk.
You didn't like to think about your life before the Winchesters. Most of the time, it was easier to pretend you didn't have a past--no dark and morbid history to share, no pain and trauma still lingering deep within you.
Sam and Dean were the only ones you'd felt comfortable opening up to, and even that took years. Life had not been kind to you, and the scars on your body and in your mind were the proof.
Eight years ago, your hellish life took a turn for the better, but only after you almost lost it. You'd been walking home after a late night filled with bad decisions, when you were attacked. The man was fast, vicious, and cruel--taking what he wanted from you and leaving you for dead.
As fate would have it, the Winchester brothers were in town hunting a nest of vampires, and had been prowling around downtown waiting for one to make an appearance.
It was Dean who heard your screams, your cries for help, your sobs. It was Dean who came running into the dark alleyway without a thought for his own well-being. It was Dean who dropped to his knees beside your beaten and broken body...who took his jacket off and draped it over you to cover your mostly exposed form. It was Dean who gently scooped you into his arms and carried you to his car...and it was Dean that stood beside your hospital bed until you opened your eyes again.
Sam had eventually tracked down the man who had attacked you. It turned out, he had attacked several other women in the downtown area over the previous few months. Dean had been surprised to discover the man was just that--a man. Not a shapeshifter, a ghoul, a demon...not a vampire or a werewolf...just a man. His status as a human did not, however, make him any more safe from your avenging savior.
You'd never asked Dean exactly what had happened to your attacker, and he'd never talked about it. All you knew was he would never hurt anyone ever again.
It was unlike Dean to trust a stranger, and certainly out of character for him to confide in one, but there was something about you that seemed to draw him in. He felt as if he'd found a kindred spirit in you, someone who could understand him in a way even his brother couldn't.
Once you were on the mend, Dean made you an offer--one you were thankful you didn't refuse. You joined the brothers on their adventures--saving people, hunting things, the whole nine yards.
Overtime, you had become an integral part of their small family unit. Either brother would have died for you and you for them. There had been more than one close call for each of you over the past eight years, and more than one monster brutally slain to protect you.
You were closer in age to Sam, only a year younger than him, but Dean had always been the one you were closer to. Just as Dean had seen a kindred spirit in you, you had seen one in him. He understood you, he respected you, and he cared about you more deeply than anyone in your life ever had.
In the long years you'd spent in their constant company, you'd begun to change. The darkness that lived inside you seemed to fade, as if being near the Winchesters brought a light into your life you didn't know you needed. The mental scars you'd carried began to heal, even if the ones on your skin would always be visible.
There were still days where the darkness would rise within you, dark thoughts rolling through your mind, bringing you to your knees with a pain you could never describe. There were days when you would look in the mirror and hate the reflection gazing back at you--seeing the girl you had once been instead of the woman you now were.
There were moments when you'd forget all the progress you'd made, mind focusing instead on all of your flaws, all of your failures. The worst part was many of them lived only in your mind--you knew no one but you could see them, but that didn't make them any less real to you.
Lately, you had been struggling with self-esteem issues you'd long since buried. You'd thought you'd come to terms with who you were and what you looked like--accepted the body you had. Weight had been a struggle for you your entire life, and for a long time, you turned to terrible habits in order to lose weight and attempt to keep it off.
Those habits had ended eight years ago, but the issues they'd covered did not. Today was one of the bad days. One of the days you stared in the mirror and hated the image you saw--the softness, the curves, the fat. That was the word that kept repeating in your mind, fat, fat, fat.
You tried desperately to block it out, to remember why you loved your body just as it was, but those thoughts wouldn't leave you alone. The darkness inside you was too much to battle, the pain of hating yourself too much to cope with.
You'd been thankful for the bunker the day the three of you had discovered it, but you were even more grateful on days like today. Days you wanted to spend holed up in your room, refusing to face the outside world.
As much as you wanted to lay in bed for the entire day, your grumbling stomach soon became too much to ignore. You knew you needed to eat--there could be no more starving yourself, no more binging and purging--you needed to eat.
You dragged yourself out of bed and tugged on a pair of sweatpants before cautiously opening your bedroom door. You listened for the sounds of either brother moving around. Upon hearing none, you made your way slowly towards the kitchen, intent on making yourself a sandwich and retreating to the safety of your room.
Just before you rounded the corner to head into the kitchen, you heard Dean's low voice rumbling from inside. You froze in place, pressing yourself against the wall, not wanting to be seen or heard. You fully intended to creep back to your room--you really did--but the sound of your name leaving Dean's lips held you in place.
"(Y/N)'s not strong enough," Dean hissed. You could tell by the tone of his voice he was angry, very angry.
"Oh come on," Sam snapped. "She's been doing this for eight years. She's more than capable."
"Are you insane? I mean, really and truly crazy? She'll get herself killed!" Dean's voice had risen in volume and you heard Sam shush him quietly.
"Don't wake her up," Sam chided.
You heard Dean's annoyed sigh and your eyes fluttered closed for a moment. You knew what they were fighting about. You and Sam had a conversation a couple days ago about you hunting on your own. You'd asked for his thoughts and Sam had been honest and supportive. He said you were more than capable of hunting on your own, should he or Dean not be available to go with you. Your hunting skills were certainly not on their level, but if the case was simple enough, you would be fine.
Clearly Dean did not agree with his brother's assessment of your abilities. "She's not strong enough, or fast enough, or physically prepared to hunt on her own. She's just not, okay? She's different from us...she's not built like we are."
"Do you even hear yourself?" Sam asked incredulously.
You bit your lip to keep from whimpering aloud, Dean's words having cut straight through you like a hot knife. You blinked back your tears as you moved as quickly as possible back to your room without making noise.
Dean's words repeated on a loop inside your head, echoing your own darkest thoughts about yourself. Even Dean thought you were too fat, too weak, too useless to do anything on your own. You realized he likely only allowed you to hunt with him because he felt sorry for you--a pitying friendship you didn't ask for.
Despite the irrationality of your thoughts, you could not escape them. You couldn't fight them off, either because you didn't have the strength or because you were afraid they were right. Your mind once again played tricks on you, dragging you down into the darkness--but this time you succumbed, allowing your own tears to drag you into a nightmare fueled sleep.
Unbeknownst to you, Sam and Dean's conversation had continued in the kitchen. Neither of them had noticed your presence, both too upset with the other to focus on anything else.
"Look, (Y/N) is my best friend. Other than you, she's my favorite person...hell, I like her more than you sometimes," Dean confessed. "I just--I don't want to lose her. If we let her go out there without backup and something happens to her, I'll never forgive myself. I'd rather her never hunt at all, but I think she'd kill me if I told her to sit out on a fight just because I'm terrified of her dying."
Sam was quiet for a moment as he regarded his brother. Dean was not known for his vulnerability, nor for sharing any of his deeper emotions, but Sam could see something simmering just beneath the surface--some emotion beyond rage and fear lurked in his brother's green eyes.
"What are you really saying, Dean?" Sam asked quietly.
Dean looked at the floor for a long moment before answering. "When we met (Y/N), I was instantly drawn to her--like a moth to flame. I don't know what it was, but I felt connected to her in a way I'd never felt before. That feeling has only grown in the past eight years and now I can't imagine living life without her. I don't want to imagine it. A world without (Y/N) in it isn't a world I want to exist in."
Sam exhaled slowly, realization crossing his features. It was rare for Dean to care for someone so deeply, but when he did, he became irrationally protective. Sam was painfully familiar with that particular side of his brother's nature. He also knew what it meant, what Dean was really saying--even if he wasn't ready to admit it.
"You should talk to (Y/N)," Sam urged. "Both about how you feel, and about why you don't want her to hunt alone."
"What do you mean, 'how I feel'?"
Sam raised his eyebrows. "You know exactly what I mean." He didn't give his brother a chance to respond. He grabbed a water bottle from the fridge and walked out the door, claiming a need to workout.
Dean watched Sam walk away, and a feeling of mild terror settled into his bones. He'd come very close to admitting how he really felt about you and it scared him. Hell, his feelings scared him. The fact that he was foolish enough to fall in love was bad enough, but the fact that you were the one who'd stolen his heart made it so much worse.
He'd told himself he would never fall in love, never get married, never settle down--this life wasn't conducive to any sort of domestic bliss. Part of him didn't think he deserved that kind of happiness, but the main issue was the danger of loving you so deeply. He knew the risks, knew how it would turn out--bloody, like it always did.
In his mind, the only way he could keep you safe was to pretend all he felt for you was platonic friendship. He could protect you on hunts and his guard would never be down around you, so he could protect you in every way. He'd seen how far you'd come, how strong you now were, and there was no way he would be the reason the world lost your beautiful soul.
No one could ever know the truth, not even Sam. The only way this didn't end bloody was if you never even suspected Dean loved you. No monster would be able to use his love for you against you, no monster would ever hurt you just to get to him. For you, for your safety, he was willing to break his own heart.
**********
It had been three days since you'd overheard the conversation between Sam and Dean. The first two days, you'd remained secluded in your room, claiming a migraine any time either of the boys came to check on you.
This morning, however, you'd woken up with a goal. You showered, got dressed, and made your way to the kitchen. As you were fixing yourself some breakfast, you heard someone enter the room.
"You're up early," Sam said warmly.
You turned to glance at him with a soft smile. "I wanted to get a head start on the day."
Sam raised an eyebrow, but didn't comment. "You're feeling better, I take it."
You nodded. "Yeah, that headache was brutal." You felt bad for lying, but it was easier to fein a migraine than it was to admit what you'd overheard and the dark thoughts you'd been plagued with.
"Well, I'm gonna go for a run," Sam said cheerfully. "Any chance I could entice you to come with me?"
You laughed and rolled your eyes. "Not unless someone's chasing me."
He chuckled and ducked out of the kitchen, taking a bottle of water with him. Sam always asked if you wanted to join him on his morning runs, but he knew you were unlikely to ever agree. You hated running almost as much as Dean did.
You ate your breakfast quietly, contemplating your plans for the day. You had decided to start a new routine today, a routine you intended to continue until you felt better about yourself or until you could get Dean's words out of your head, whichever came first.
After breakfast, you went into the library to do some reading, intending to allow your stomach time to digest your food. You weren't sure exactly how much time had passed, but Sam had returned from his run, showered, and was now eating his breakfast at the table while scrolling through the latest news stories on his computer.
Dean, unsurprisingly, was still not awake, despite the fact that it was 10am.
You closed your book and stood up. "I'll be down in the gym if you need me," you said to Sam as you crossed the room towards the door.
"You'll--what?"
You gestured towards the hall behind you. "I'll be in the gym."
He looked perplexed, but didn't comment on your sudden desire to workout. He could tell something was a little off with you, but he had the feeling you wouldn't want to talk about it, so he decided to let it go. After all, it's not like going to the gym was something he needed to worry about--it wouldn't kill you (unlike some of your previous bad choices).
When you reached the gym, you looked around and sighed. You'd always hated working out. It was a reminder how out of shape you were and how imperfect your body was. Sure, hunting kept you relatively healthy--you had surprising stamina and endurance, but the weight just never seemed to fall off. You'd begun to feel like your fat was holding some kind of grudge against you, intent on making your life miserable for some perceived slight.
You sighed again and walked over to the treadmill in the corner. You stared at it for a few minutes, deciding whether you really wanted to use it. You'd always hated the treadmill, but you needed to start somewhere, so you hopped on and started to walk at a brisk pace.
Thirty minutes later, you switched to the stationary bike, wanting a change from the monotony of walking. Twenty minutes after that, you were bored out of your mind. You decided to try something else. Maybe lifting weights would do the trick.
About two reps in, your headphones died and you groaned in annoyance. You tugged them out of your ears and tossed them to the floor, opting instead to blast your music loudly through the bluetooth speaker Sam kept down there.
Alanis Morissette's voice now carried down the hall, but you couldn't be bothered to care. She was your go-to when you were feeling angry or upset, her music always making you feel better, especially when you scream-sang along.
After a few more reps, you decided to work on your boxing skills. Sam had taught you years ago, mostly as a way to teach you some fighting skills. You wrapped your hands to protect your knuckles, settled into your stance, and began hitting the punching bag. The release of frustration you felt was almost immediate and you realized you should have just done this from the start.
Upstairs, Dean was just returning from running an errand. He'd woken up and been distressed to find they were out of bacon and beer--his two main food groups. He'd gone to the grocery store to restock and was now happily cooking an excessive amount of bacon for his breakfast.
"You know you should eat something besides bacon, right?" Sam teased him.
"Nothing is better than bacon, Sammy. Nothing." Dean scooped the rest of the bacon onto his plate with a look of glee.
"Heart attack on a plate," Sam muttered.
"Oh shut it," Dean grumbled as he bit into his first piece. He moaned obnoxiously, causing his brother to roll his eyes dramatically. "Where's (Y/N)?" He asked, words garbled by the bacon he was still chewing.
"What?"
Dean swallowed. "Where's (Y/N)? I stopped by her room before I went out and she was gone."
"She's in the gym."
"I'm sorry, she's what?"
Sam shrugged. "She's in the gym. She went down after breakfast."
"Why?"
"I assume to work out," Sam said lightly.
Dean groaned. "Obviously, smartass, but why was she gonna work out?"
"I don't know, dude. Why don't you ask her?"
Dean looked down at his plate. "I will once I finish my bacon."
Sam rolled his eyes, but didn't comment further.
Once Dean had finished his breakfast, he made his way down to the gym, a feeling of dread settling into his stomach. He couldn't really put a finger on why, only that he didn't like the feeling.
As he neared the gym, he heard 'You Oughta Know' blasting down the hallway. He didn't hear your voice over the lyrics until he actually entered the room. He would have smiled at the sight if he wasn't so worried about you.
Your back was to him as you continued to pummel the absolute shit out of the punching bag. Dean had to admire both your form and the power you exuded. But as he watched you, that feeling of dread began to creep higher into his chest, wrapping itself around his heart.
He called out your name, but you couldn't hear him over the music. He spotted the speaker and walked over to turn it off, plunging the room into a shocking silence.
You spun around, surprised to see Dean standing beside the speaker. "I, uhh, I called your name," he muttered sheepishly.
"Oh, sorry. I was kinda in the zone."
He nodded. "Yeah, I noticed. So, uh, whatcha doin'?"
You raised an eyebrow. "Working out...as one does in a gym."
He winced, feeling like an idiot. "I know that, but what I don't know is why."
"Why what?"
"Why are you suddenly working out in the gym for two straight hours? You hate the gym."
You stared at him with an unreadable expression. Your eyes were dark and your jaw was set as you regarded him. "You can't think of any reason?"
Dean thought about it for a moment. "No...hence why I'm asking."
You gestured to your body. "Because I'm not strong enough or fast enough or physically fit enough to hunt...sound familiar?"
Dean winced, eyes widening with realization. "(Y/N), I--"
You held up your hand. "No need to apologize, Dean. I realized you were right. I am weaker than you and Sam, I am slower and heavier and fatter--I am completely less physically capable than either of you. So obviously, I need to do something about that. Hence the gym."
Dean stared at her, anger darkening his features. "None of that is true."
"Of course it is, Dean. You said it yourself. I'm just agreeing with you."
"Of course you're not the same as us, (Y/N), but that has nothing to do with your body or your weight or your ability. We're men, and large ones at that. We're physically built different than you, but that doesn't mean you need to change anything about yourself to be more like us."
"Well clearly I do, or you wouldn't have found my body so unacceptable--you wouldn't have told Sam I'm not capable of hunting on my own."
Whatever thread was keeping Dean from yelling finally snapped. "Your body isn't unacceptable! You aren't weak! There is nothing wrong with you--nothing!"
You were stunned into silence by the intensity of his words. You didn't know how to react or what to say.
Dean sighed deeply, feeling the anger drain out of him at last. "You didn't hear the rest of our conversation, did you?" His voice was barely a whisper, but you could hear the raw emotion in it.
You shook your head.
"You should have stayed...you may have learned something."
"What would I have learned?" you asked quietly.
"You would have realized that your interpretation of my words wasn't at all how I meant them. You would have heard me tell Sam how terrified I am of losing you, how that fear makes me want to keep you out of this life--away from hunting entirely. You would have seen that I love you just the way you are--that I don't want you to change a single thing about yourself. You would know that I am the problem, not you...it was never you."
"Dean..." you whispered, unsure of what to say. "You...you don't need to try and make me feel better."
He stared at you, green eyes full of fire. "I'm not trying to make you feel better. I'm trying to be honest about my feelings--to make you see you the way I see you."
"Why now?"
He was taken aback by your question, and it took him several moments to respond. "You know how I feel about romantic attachments...I worry about losing the person I love most, simply because they were unlucky enough to be loved by me. The fear of losing another person I love or have them be used against me is a pain I'm not sure I can bear. But you--you deserve better than my fears. You are the light to my darkness, my reason for living. I can't stand the thought of you believing I think less of you, not when I would burn the world down to keep you safe."
"Are you saying what I think you're saying?" you whispered, a glimmer of hope sparkling in your voice.
Dean took a step towards you. "If you think I'm telling you that I've been in love with you for years, that I love every single part of you inside and out, that I don't want you to change a single thing, that I think you're perfect...then yes."
You exhaled sharply, breathing ragged as you stared into his soulful green eyes.
He crossed the short distance between you and wrapped his arms around you, pulling you flush against his body, not caring about the sweat staining your body.
He practically crushed you against him, holding on more tightly than you'd ever imagined he would. After several moments, he loosened his grip on you so he could gaze down into your eyes. A small, lopsided smile graced his lips and his eyes fluttered shut. As his lips grazed against yours, you sighed softly, causing him to immediately deepen the kiss.
His hands dug into your soft flesh, seemingly reveling in the feeling of your body in his arms. His kiss was everything you'd imagined it would be and so much more--you felt safe, loved, and cherished. You didn't know you could have those feelings from a single kiss, but here you were, drowning in emotion, his love the life raft saving you from darkness.
When you finally parted, Dean rested his forehead against yours. "Do you believe me, (Y/N)? Can you see how much I love you? How badly I need you?"
"Yes," you breathed. "I believe you."
He sighed happily, breath mingling with yours. "Will you let me show you?"
You pulled away from him slightly so you could see his face better.
His eyes were dark with hunger, his gaze almost predatory. If you didn't know him, you would be frightened.
"Let me show you, sweetheart," he begged softly, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear. "Let me show you how much I love your body--how badly I've wanted to touch it, mark it, make it mine. Let me touch every curve, kiss every scar--bite and lick and suck every pleasure point until you're a moaning mess in my arms. Let me make love to you the way you deserve."
No man had ever spoken to you like that, and you felt your toes curl at his words. If he could spark your body alive with nothing but words, you wondered what he was capable of doing with his body.
Your breathing was labored and your voice husky as you murmured, "How could I ever say no?"
Dean smirked and he tugged you to him again, lips crashing against yours. You felt his hands all over your body, clutching any part of you he could reach. His mouth left yours, lips trailing down your neck, nipping and sucking gently against the sensitive skin. He licked the column of your throat and groaned softly, muttering "salty" in a devilishly sexy voice.
You pulled away, suddenly remembering what you'd been doing when Dean interrupted you. "Wait--I-I need to shower first."
Dean groaned in annoyance. "No you don't."
You started to peel him off you with a light chuckle. "Yes, I do. I feel gross."
He pouted adorably. "For the record, I would make love to you on the sparing mat, right here, right now."
You laughed. "As hot as that might be, I really want to shower...I'll even let you join me." You shot him a wink and ran toward the door.
He realized what you'd said and turned to run after you, chasing you all the way to the showers. You giggled when he caught you, tugging you to him to kiss at your exposed neck and shoulders.
"Shower!" you squealed.
He groaned. "Fine, fine."
He practically dragged you into the bathroom, turning away from you to turn on the water before tugging you into the shower with him.
"Dean, our clothes--"
"They'll dry," he grumbled, fingers tugging on your shirt to lift it over your head.
You allowed him to remove it, neither of you paying attention to where it landed as he tossed it out of the shower. He did the same with his own shirt and jeans, followed by your leggings.
He spun you around, so your back was pressed against the cold tile, water spraying across your chest. He unzipped your sports bra and you allowed it to fall to the ground, revealing your heavy breasts to his wanton eyes.
"Fuuuuck," he groaned, lips attaching to your pert nipple.
You ran your hands through his hair as he continued his gentle assault on your breasts. His lips didn't leave your chest, even as his hands trailed down to slowly peel off your underwear.
He slipped two fingers between your folds, collecting your slick and pressing firmly against your clit. You moaned softly at the sensation, head falling back against the tile.
He removed his fingers, slipping them between his lips and sucking them dry. "I need more," he murmured hungrily.
He dropped to his knees and grabbed your right leg, slinging it over his shoulder before you could utter a word. You started to complain that you needed to wash the sweat off first, but he ignored you, tongue sweeping between your folds without a care.
Any protests you may have had were lost as he worked his magic on your pussy. Your fingers twisted into his short hair, head back, mouth open, drowning in the pleasure he was giving you. You were thankful for the tile you leaned against and his strong arms holding you in place as he feasted on you.
Your legs began to shake and you cried out his name seconds before your orgasm hit you, sending you spiraling into bliss. Dean didn't want to stop, but your hands weakly tugged on his hair and your legs began to buckle, so he pulled himself up to keep you from falling.
"Delicious," he whispered against your mouth as he pressed another kiss to your lips.
You wrapped your arms around his neck to hold him closer to you and he shifted to press his body tightly against yours. You gasped as his still clothed member brushed against your thigh and your hands instantly slid down his body to rid him of the annoying fabric.
"Wanna touch you," you begged softly.
He groaned, but pulled away from your reach.
"Dean," you whined.
"Shh, let me wash you first," he insisted.
"But--"
He cut you off with a kiss. "Let me worship you before you touch me--I wanna make this about you."
Your expression softened and you leaned into him. "I love you, Dean."
Your voice was a low whisper, but he heard it all the same. You hadn't said the words earlier, a fact he had been trying to ignore. Hearing you say them now nearly had him throwing all his plans for the next week out the window--wanting to do nothing more than worship you from dusk to dawn for the foreseeable future.
"Dean?" you whispered warily, concern filling your eyes.
He used all his self-control to push his own needs and wants aside. "I heard you, baby," he assured you. "I heard you."
His kiss was gentler this time, sweeter even, and it warmed your body from the inside out. He broke away, panting, a whispered "I love you" pressed into your skin as he made his way down your body and back up again.
After what felt like an eternity, he grabbed the shower gel and loofa and slowly began to lather you up, washing your body in a surprisingly sensual way. When he finally decided you were clean, he helped you under the spray and made sure all the suds were rinsed off.
"Can I touch you now?" you begged.
He smiled warmly. "I suppose I can allow it." He forced his voice to be steady and calm, despite the desire screaming inside of him--begging him to take you well and properly.
You sunk to your knees, gaze lifting to meet his. You gave him a shy smile before taking his cock in your soft hands. He was larger than average, but you weren't afraid of the pain. Instead, you focused on giving him the same intense pleasure he had given you.
When you wrapped your lips around his cock, his head fell back and a groan escaped his parted lips. His fingers danced across your scalp, gathering your hair to one side so he could see you properly.
"Shit, sweetheart," he mumbled. "You're taking me so well."
You moaned around him, pleased with the praise he offered you. You continued to work him, using your tongue to caress and tease him in ways he'd never experienced before.
He wasn't at all surprised by your skill, but he was surprised by how damn good it felt. Sure, it had been a while for him, but he couldn't remember the last time he'd gotten a blow job that made his knees weak--if ever.
"Shit, baby," he whispered. "I'm so close--gonna cum for you."
His fingers raked through your wet hair and he used his other hand to lean against the tiles behind you. His hips jutted forward slightly as you relaxed your throat, taking him as far back as you could.
You flattened your tongue against his cock and flexed it, repeating the motion a few times before Dean's grip on your hair became painful and he exploded into your throat with a cry of your name.
You swallowed everything he had to give you, not releasing him from your lips until he pulled away, forcing the two of you to separate.
Dean leaned back against the shower wall and pulled you towards him, trying to support his weak legs while also helping you up. Once you were on your feet, he tugged you into him and placed a feverish kiss to your lips.
He panted heavily when he finally released you from his tight grip, allowing you to suck in some much needed air.
"Where did you learn how to do that thing with your tongue?" he asked in a hoarse voice.
You smirked. "It's a natural talent."
He grinned. "Well I fucking love it."
You laughed and leaned back into him, capturing his lips in a sweeter kiss. "So what are your thoughts on continuing this elsewhere?"
"Well my plan was to make you moan my name for the next several hours...I don't care where we go, as long as you're willing to let me ruin you."
Your thighs clenched together involuntarily and you moaned softly, biting into your bottom lip to keep the sound from being too loud. "My room?"
"My room is closer," he murmured into your shoulder.
You smiled and backed away from him, causing him to pout. You turned the water off and continued to back out of the shower. You grabbed a towel and wrapped it around yourself, which only served to upset Dean.
"What do you think you're doing?" he growled.
Your eyes widened. "Putting on a towel so we can go to your room..."
"Did I say you could hide your body from me?" His tone was shockingly dominant and a spark of need went straight to your core.
"No," you whispered.
"I didn't think so." He stepped forward, dominance oozing from every pore in his body. "Drop the towel. Now."
You gasped softly, but heeded his command. The towel fell to the floor and he took yet another predatory step in your direction.
"Don't you ever hide yourself from me again. I wanna see every inch of your body." His hands grabbed at your hips roughly, tugging you towards him forcefully. "You're mine, do you understand me? Mine."
While the idea of someone owning you would normally piss you off, in this context it was a shocking turn-on. You swallowed thickly as you stared up into his heated gaze, suddenly unable to move, or even breathe.
He leaned down to kiss along your jaw towards your ear. He breathed slowly against your skin, causing you to shiver and clutch his arms for support. "Is this okay?" he whispered, voice still gruff, but much more loving.
You nodded, not trusting yourself to form actual words.
"Baby, I need you to tell me with your words. I need you to say whether this is okay or not. I don't wanna do something you're not into."
You turned your head a little so you could see his bright green eyes. The look in his eyes was reflected in your own and there was no doubt or fear in your voice when you answered him. "I'm very into it."
Your reassurance was all he needed to fall back into the dominant role. "Then you'd better get your ass into my bed before we have a problem."
You turned to open the door, yelping slightly when his hand smacked your ass. You shot him a surprised look and he looked slightly sheepish.
"Sorry, baby...I couldn't resist. You've got a great ass."
You smirked at the compliment and gave him a little wiggle before rushing into the hallway and making a beeline for his bedroom door.
He was surprised by your teasing action, but it only made him smile. He chased after you, mumbling, "Oh you're in for it now, princess."
You giggled as you landed on his bed, crawling up towards the headboard as he came through the doorway. He shut the door behind him and stalked to the edge of the bed, fiery gaze locked on you.
"It's unfair how sexy you look right now," he growled. "Makes me wanna fuck you senseless--make you scream my name until your voice is hoarse."
You gulped, trying to hide behind false bravado. "Are you going to do that from the other side of the room?"
He raised an eyebrow. "Don't be a brat."
"Why don't you come here and do something about it."
Dean practically jumped onto the bed, climbing on top of you and caging you beneath him in seconds. His cock was hard again, pressing against your thigh--a reminder of how badly he wanted you.
"Not so mouthy now are you?"
"Dean, I--"
"Hush," he murmured as he leaned down to kiss you. He shifted just enough so his cock brushed against your core, and you gasped into his mouth.
"How badly do you want me right now, (Y/N)?" he asked, voice rough with need.
"I've never wanted you more," you answered honestly.
He groaned lowly. "How do you want it? You want me to fuck you into this mattress or take it nice and slow?"
"Fuck me into the mattress," you begged softly. "Please."
"Jesus--I love when you beg for me," he growled.
"Fuck me, Dean," you pleaded. You weren't above begging, especially when it came to him.
Dean gripped his cock in his right hand and lined himself up with your entrance. He started to push in, trying to move slowly to avoid hurting you as much. "You're so fucking tight, baby," he whispered against your lips.
You gripped his biceps harshly, nails digging into his skin. The stretch was unbelievable, both painful and pleasurable all at once.
"You okay?" he whispered softly.
You nodded.
"Babe," he said in a warning tone.
"I'm okay--keep going."
He continued to push into you and your back arched as his cock brushed against your cervix. You whimpered at the feeling of fullness, and Dean struggled to remain motionless until you told him it was okay to move.
"I need you to move, Dean--please."
He pulled himself up slightly and started a very gentle pace, still allowing you time to adjust. The last thing he wanted was to make this painful or uncomfortable for you. He didn't give a damn about his enjoyment--all he wanted was to watch you fall apart over and over again.
"Your pussy feels incredible, baby," he groaned. "I could stay here forever."
He began to move more quickly and your breathing became more erratic as you reveled in the pleasure of the moment. Your moans were like music to his ears, spurring him on as he slid into you again.
"I love the sounds you're making, sweetheart. I wanna hear you."
He picked up his pace and shifted you into a new position so he could get even deeper inside you. You cried out as he hit your g-spot, pussy clamping down on his cock in response.
"Shit--" he groaned. "You're squeezing me so tight--taking my cock so fucking well, gorgeous."
Your back arched again and your head was tossed back, pressing into the pillows at the head of the bed. Your hands twisted in the sheets, unable to reach his arms or his back as he slammed into you repeatedly.
He knew you were close, but he wasn't ready to feel you cum yet. "Look at me, baby."
He waited until your hazy eyes met his.
"Don't cum until I tell you to, understand?"
Your eyes widened. "But, Dean--"
"Not until I give you permission," he said firmly.
You nodded rapidly, not wanting to risk your orgasm altogether.
"Good girl."
You moaned loudly and your pussy clenched tightly around his cock, causing him to echo the sound.
"Fuck, baby," he groaned. "You like it when I praise you, huh? You wanna hear about how much I love this pussy? How I've been thinking about fucking you for years? How I've craved your body?"
You were practically breathless beneath him, unable to formulate a response or even acknowledge his words.
"Your pussy is fucking perfect," he continued. "Made for me. And this body? Gorgeous and soft and fucking delicious. Can't believe I get to touch you like this--make you feel so good."
"Dean, please," you begged breathlessly.
"Not yet, sweetheart."
You whimpered, but continued to focus on staving off your impending orgasm.
"Who owns this pussy, baby?"
You didn't answer--too focused on not cumming until he gave you permission.
His grip on your legs tightened, bringing your attention back to him. "That's it, pretty girl, look at me. Tell me who owns this pussy."
"You," you gasped out.
"That's right. This pussy is mine. I'm the only one who gets to touch you like this--make you moan and whimper and scream. No one else."
"Only you," you cried.
"Fuck--" His breathing had become ragged and he had begun to struggle to keep himself from orgasming.
"Please," you whimpered.
"Please what, baby?"
"Let me cum!" you begged.
Dean decided to take pity on you. "Cum for me, baby."
"Dean!" you screamed as your orgasm ripped through you. The pleasure so white hot and blinding you nearly blacked out.
Dean helped you ride out the waves of pleasure before lowering himself back down to hover over you. He placed soft kisses to your heated skin and whispered, "You're so damn beautiful when you cum."
You were gulping down mouthfuls of air, but you heard his whispered words. "I love you," you murmured.
He groaned softly. "Love you more."
He picked his pace back up, intent on giving you another orgasm before allowing himself to cum.
It didn't take long for him to work you back up, letting you hang on the precipice of blissful pleasure once more.
"You feel so good beneath me, baby. I love watching your pretty face as you fall apart. I just can't get enough of you," he admitted.
Your nails dug into his back, indicating you also couldn't get enough of him. "Dean, I need more," you pleaded.
"Touch yourself for me, baby. I want you to cum before I fill you up."
You lowered your hand down and slipped it between your bodies. You found your clit with ease and began to gently toy with it, sending pulses of toe curling pleasure up your spine.
"Fuck, yes. That's it baby. God, this pussy is addicting...don't ever wanna stop."
"So close," you whimpered.
"Yeah, sweetheart? You wanna cum?"
"Please, Dean."
"How badly?"
"Dean," you whined.
"Be a good girl and tell me how badly you wanna cum for me and maybe I'll let you."
"Please-please-please," you begged. "I wanna cum so bad. I need to cum, Dean, please!"
As much as he loved prolonging your orgasm, he couldn't bear saying no to you. "Cum for me, sweetness," he whispered into your ear.
Your body began to shake as the dam broke once again. You cried out as the pleasure invaded all of your senses, overwhelming you completely.
Dean began to chase his own high, desperately needing to fill you up with his seed. "You're the only woman who makes me lose control," he whispered into your skin.
You were surprised by his words, but they warmed your heart. Dean wasn't the kind of man to lose control often, so the fact that you made him do so was a massive ego boost.
"I wanna feel you fill me up, Dean," you murmured. "Need your cum inside me."
"Fuck," he growled, teeth grazing your pulse point.
His hips began to stutter as he reached his peak. Your nails scraped along his back, giving him the last push he needed to fall over the edge. He came with a guttural growl of your name, ropes of hot cum filling your pussy.
His arms started to feel weak as his orgasm came to an end, and he collapsed on top of you, crushing you beneath his larger frame. You couldn't have been bothered to care if he'd literally smothered you--you were too fucked out to form coherent thoughts.
After a while, Dean managed to pull himself off of you, only to collapse on the bed beside you. He reached for you, strong arms wrapping around your waist to tug you into his chest.
"You're so damn incredible, (Y/N/N)," he whispered into your shoulder, lips pressing soft kisses there. "I don't think I've ever cum that hard--and you managed to do it twice."
"I can't feel my legs and my head is fuzzy," you mumbled. "So I second all of that."
Dean chuckled softly and held you even tighter. "I love you," he murmured. "More than you'll ever know."
"I think I have some idea," you whispered back. "And I love you just as much."
Dean smiled, feeling truly happy for the first time in as long as he could remember. He knew he should get up, help you clean up and all that, but he couldn't get himself to move and you weren't complaining. In fact, your breathing had evened out and he had a feeling you'd be asleep soon.
He kissed your shoulder one more time before resting his head comfortably on the pillow, feeling more relaxed than he had in a while. Just as sleep threatened to claim him, he heard his brother's voice from the other side of the closed door.
"While I'm super happy for you both, I have one request. Next time the two of you decide to fuck each other's brains out, could you at least have the decency to wait until I'm gone? I can't un-hear any of that!"
You laughed lightly and you could feel Dean's laughter rumbling in his chest from behind you.
"We'll do our best," Dean called back. "But no promises! She's simply too hot to resist--you never know when I'll get the urge to ravish her."
You laughed even harder, but you reached behind you to lovingly smack his hip.
"Ohh gross, dude!" Sam grumbled before walking away, leaving the two of you alone again.
"You're so bad, Dean Winchester."
"I didn't hear you complaining when I was making your legs shake ten minutes ago."
You tossed him a grin over your shoulder. "I didn't say it was a bad thing."
He matched your grin. "Touché, my love. Touché."
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fatecantstopme · 1 month
Text
Unattached Drifter Christmas
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Pairing: Dean Winchester x plus size!reader
Summary: Dean decides he’d rather spend Valentine’s Day curled up on the couch with you.
Warnings: Cursing, use of pet names. SMUT, unprotected sex (P in V), oral (M & F receiving)
A/N: in honor of Valentine’s Day, I gift you an adorable Dean Winchester fluffy smutty delight. 💜
"What are your plans, Sammy?" you asked from your perch on the kitchen counter.
"I happen to have a date," he replied with a smirk.
"Oooo with whom?"
"Just a nice local girl I met at the library last week."
"Sam Winchester and the nice local girl...sounds like a book I'd read," you teased.
He rolled his eyes and threw a dish towel at you. "What about you?"
"I have an excellent night planned," you confirmed. "Since Dean will be out cruising for ladies to go home with, I figured I could steal the Dean Cave for the night. I'm ordering a pizza, watching scary movies, eating a shit ton of junk food, and washing it all down with a bottle of wine."
Sam laughed. "Now that sounds like a party."
"Someone say 'party'?" Dean asked as he entered the kitchen.
"We were just discussing our Valentine's Day plans," Sam responded.
"You celebrating Unattached Drifter Christmas?" you asked in a teasing tone.
Dean shrugged and grabbed a beer out of the fridge. "Nahh, I think I'm gonna sit this year out. I'd rather stay home."
"Awww man," you grumbled.
Dean looked at you with an arched brow. "Is that a problem?"
"No," you answered quickly. "It just puts a bit of a wrench in my plans."
"And what are your plans?" he asked.
"I was gonna take over the Dean Cave for the night--scary movie marathon, pizza, snacks, alcohol."
"Pizza, snacks, and alcohol is my holy trinity," Dean said with a wide smirk. "Would you be opposed to me crashing your party?"
"You hate scary movies," you said.
"Yeah, but you love them," he countered. "I'm the crasher, so I'm not gonna demand a change in movie genre."
You smiled at him. "Alright, then you can come. I'll even supply beer."
Dean winked at you. "The way to my heart," he teased.
You rolled your eyes and hopped off the counter. "Oh, did Sam mention he has a date tonight?"
Sam shot you a look and you hurried out of the kitchen, laughing quietly as Dean started to tease his brother.
"A date, baby bro? Look at you!"
**********
You'd sent Dean to pick up the pizza while you set up the Dean Cave for the evening's festivities. You'd made a run to the grocery store earlier in the day to pick up yours and Dean's favorite snacks, as well as a decent supply of wine and beer.
You were more than satisfied with your selections, but for some reason you felt anxious. Well...to be honest, you knew the reason. You hadn't expected Dean to be staying home and you certainly didn't count on him joining you for the evening.
You'd known Dean for a little over five years and in that time you'd grown to care about him deeply, more than you should. He was a genuinely good person underneath his gruff exterior, a facade he had dropped with you long ago.
If you were completely honest with yourself, you knew you loved him, but you would never say anything to him. You knew him too well. Dean had lost virtually everyone he'd ever loved and he blamed himself for their deaths. He avoided romantic relationships like the plague because he didn't want to add another name to the body count. It was hard enough for him to bring you into his life as a friend, and there was no way he would risk anything more than that.
So of course, you kept your mouth shut, hiding your feelings from both Winchesters. The only person that knew how you felt was Jody and she would take that secret to the grave if you wanted her to. You would rather have Dean as a friend than lose him completely.
You tossed your favorite oversized blanket onto the couch with a sigh. You were trying not to think about curling up next to Dean for a movie marathon on freaking Valentine's Day of all days. You knew it was the romantic nature of the day itself that had your stomach in knots. You'd watched movies and binge ate with Dean countless times before without issue, but there was an added intensity to this instance simply because it happened to be February 14th.
You also couldn't help but wonder why Dean wasn't planning on going out. You couldn't remember the last time he neglected to celebrate 'Unattached Drifter Christmas' as he'd always called it. In fact, Dean hadn't been out to pick up a girl in weeks...you were struggling to recall the last time Dean didn't decline a girl's invitation to come home with her.
"I've brought sustenance!" The man in question spoke from behind you, startling you out of your thoughts.
"Jesus!" you yelped.
Dean chuckled lightly. "Sorry, sweetheart. Didn't mean to scare you."
You shot him a look that clearly said 'I wasn't scared', which only caused him to laugh harder.
You tossed a piece of popcorn at him and headed towards the door. "I'm gonna change into comfy clothes before we get started."
"Good idea," he agreed, placing the pizza down on the table before following you out the door.
Five minutes later, you came back into the Dean Cave wearing your most comfortable leggings and an oversized worn out band tee you'd had for at least a decade. You'd opted to forgo a bra for comfort's sake and you hoped Dean wouldn't notice.
Dean was already sitting on the couch, wearing his gray sweatpants and a plain black tee. It was almost offensive how hot he looked in that outfit--no man had any right to look that good in sweatpants.
When you walked in, Dean's gaze traveled from the TV to you. You noticed his pupils dilate slightly as he looked at you, but you figured that was due to the change in light.
You plopped down on the couch beside him, leaving plenty of space between the two of you to avoid any awkwardness. "Ready to be terrified?" you teased.
Dean groaned softly. "You know I'm only watching these because you love them."
You grinned and snagged the remote from him. "They're so good!"
"Our life is a scary movie," he grumbled. "I don't know why you like these."
"I think that's actually why I like them. Our real lives are full of the kind of shit that would make people lose their minds, but for us, it's just another Tuesday. These movies are either cheesy as hell or have an exaggerated version of a monster we have hunted and killed--so it becomes entertaining instead of scary."
Dean raised an eyebrow and shook his head. "Or you're crazy."
You smiled at him and shot him a wink. "That's just an added bonus."
He rolled his eyes and grabbed a slice of pizza. As he shoveled food into his mouth, you opened up a streaming service and typed in the name of the first movie you wanted to watch.
"You remember The Conjuring right? And Annabelle?"
"Yeah," he answered. "That Annabelle one was creepy as hell."
You grinned. "Well this one is in the same universe and I've been dying to watch it."
You pressed play on the remote and the opening credits of The Nun began to play. You snuggled up under the blanket and sighed contentedly, a piece of pizza in one hand and a glass of wine in the other.
Dean glanced at you and couldn't help the soft smile that graced his lips. It was rare he got to see you truly happy and content, so this was a moment he intended to fully savor. He studied your face, desperate to commit it to memory, unwilling to forget how beautiful you looked in this moment.
He sighed softly and closed his eyes, still picturing your face clearly in his mind. It brought another smile to his lips and he breathed in deeply, smelling a mixture of your shampoo and your perfume. He wanted you to be closer to him, but he didn't want to make you uncomfortable.
He made a split second decision and voiced his request aloud, "It's a little chilly in here. Do you mind sharing the blanket with me?" He wasn't cold at all, but he thought it might get you to move closer to him to share.
"Oh! Sure." You smiled and scooted in his direction, holding the edge of the blanket out to him.
He took it and started to cover himself. "You're gonna need to come a little closer, sweetheart," he said with a chuckle. "I need a bit more coverage."
You laughed and moved even closer to him so your arms were now touching. "Better?" you teased.
"Much," he affirmed.
You tried to keep your body relaxed and focused on the movie, but Dean's proximity was overwhelming your senses. You could smell his aftershave, feel his body heat, and see the rise and fall of his chest much more clearly than before. The simple act of a man breathing should not be a turn on...yet here you were.
You shifted slightly as you felt a familiar wave of heat pool in your belly. Not now, you thought to yourself.
"You okay, doll?" Dean asked softly.
His voice sounded lower than before, huskier even, and you had to bite your lip to keep from audibly moaning. As it was, you could feel the slick gathering between your legs, which was mortifying enough.
"I'm fine," you lied, shifting again.
Dean wrapped his arm around your shoulders and tugged you into his side. "Come 'ere," he muttered. "Get comfortable."
You gasped softly at the sudden movement, but you allowed him to pull you closer. You laid your head against his chest and sighed quietly. You had to admit, it was a much more comfortable position to be in, even if it increased your longing.
"Better?" he whispered, echoing your earlier question.
"Yeah," you mumbled.
Dean smiled down at you even though you couldn't see it. He liked this new position--he liked holding you. He knew he was crossing boundaries he'd never intended to cross, but his feelings had become unbearable as of late.
He couldn't remember a moment when he didn't want you and it was getting harder to remember a time when he didn't love you. The last couple months had been hell on his heart and he was starting to break. He hid it from everyone, especially you, but he knew he couldn't do that for much longer.
His random hookups had stopped alleviating his desire to be with you, instead increasing that need tenfold after every encounter. So he stopped hooking up with women altogether. He'd considered moving out of the bunker for a while to get away, but he couldn't do that to Sam or to you.
He found himself in a predicament he'd been trying to avoid for years and the walls he'd built around his heart had started to crumble. There was nothing he wouldn't do to keep you safe--he'd rip out his own still-beating heart if he had to--but he couldn't find the strength to stop loving you. No matter what he did, his love only grew.
It wasn't fair to you and he knew he shouldn't love you, shouldn't tell you, shouldn't pull you into something with him that would almost certainly get you killed, but his own pain was becoming too much. The physical ache in his chest when you were apart was beginning to impact every part of his life, including hunting. He'd be lying if he said it didn't terrify him, but he couldn't fight his feelings any longer.
"(Y/N)?" Dean asked softly.
"Hmm?" you hummed, eyes still trained on the TV.
"Can you look at me, sweetheart?" he murmured.
You shifted your head to look up at him. You were struck by how brilliantly green his irises looked in the dimly lit room, your lips parting slightly in surprise.
Dean's heart was hammering in his chest so quickly he was certain you could hear it. When your pretty (y/e/c) eyes met his, he was immediately lost in them--adrift in an ocean of (y/e/c).
He knew this was it--it was now or never...he could either take the leap or let his pain drown him in loneliness. He chose the former. He lowered his head the short distance to place a soft, warm kiss against your lips.
The moment you felt his lips on yours, it was like the world stopped spinning. Suddenly there was nothing but you and Dean--nothing else existed, nothing else mattered. Just you and Dean.
When your lips began to move against his, returning his kiss, he groaned happily. His hands grabbed at your torso, seeking comfort in your soft flesh. He tugged you towards him, and you shifted your body to straddle his lap, lips never leaving his.
In your new position, you could feel his hardening member pressing against your clothed core. You ground against him, earning a moan from deep in his throat. His hands tightened their grip on your hips and your nails dug into his shoulders as the sensation sent a bolt of electricity through you.
Dean's hands snaked under your shirt and he began tugging it upwards in an attempt to remove it. The logical part of your brain suddenly kicked back on and you grabbed his hand to stop him.
"Dean--wait," you gasped, pulling away from him slightly.
His eyes widened and his body tensed. He quickly removed his hands from your body and held them up in surrender. "I'm sorry, we can stop. I--"
You shook your head. "I just need...I need to say something." You bit your lip. "I don't wanna be a one night stand or a friends with benefits thing. I-I can't, Dean. I can't."
The pain in your voice nearly broke his heart. He wanted to reassure you, but he wasn't sure you would believe him. He had a reputation and it was Valentine's Day...what were the odds you'd believe him?
"(Y/N), listen to me," he said gently, taking your hands in his. "I would never ever make you to do something you didn't want to do...and I would never purposefully hurt you. I need you to know that. Do you know that, (Y/N/N)?"
"Yes," you whispered, nodding slowly.
"Good...because I mean it. I can't do any more one night stands or casual hookups or friends with benefits situations. I can't handle any of those things anymore than I can pretend I don't need you. And I do need you, (Y/N/N). I need you in every way a person can possibly need another...mentally, emotionally, physically--all of it. You're the best part of my fucked up life and I don't want to lose you."
It was rare to see Dean so open and vulnerable. This was one of the very few times you'd been witness to it, but this was, by far, the most emotional moment you'd ever shared with him. You wanted to respond, to say all the things you'd carried in your heart for years, but you couldn't think of a single word to say.
Your silence dragged on long enough that Dean began to worry he'd crossed a line he shouldn't have...a line he couldn't uncross. "Please, (Y/N)," he begged. "Say something."
"I'm sorry," you said quickly, realizing you'd been silent too long. Dean's face fell and you knew he believed you were about to reject him. You placed your hands against his chest in a calming manner, desperate to infuse your love in the touch.
"You're not going to lose me, Dean," you assured him. "I'm not going anywhere...my place is here, with you. This is where I belong--where I want to be. Wherever you are is home to me."
He didn't need grand gestures or romantic poetry. He didn't need some eloquent speech about how much you loved him. All he needed was to hear your sweet voice saying he was your 'home' and he was a goner.
When his lips met yours for the second time, everything felt different. It was as if all the moments of his life before this were in black and white and he was seeing in color for the first time. He felt alive in a way he'd forgotten--whole, in a way he'd never experienced.
He'd had very few positive relationships in his past and most of them ended bloody. He'd thought he'd been in love before, but those feelings paled in comparison to the way he felt about you. This was love, a love so real--so lasting--it was branded into his very soul.
His fingers gripped the edge of your shirt again and this time, you allowed him to remove it. "Fuck," he groaned, hungry eyes trained on your naked chest. "No bra?"
"I wanted to be comfortable."
His large, calloused hands gripped your heavy breasts and he gently kneaded the supple flesh. "I want my girl to be comfortable all the time," he murmured. "So I think we should burn all your bras."
Your soft chuckle morphed into a moan as his lips found one of your nipples. You rolled your hips against him, a soft gasp escaping your lips.
Dean wanted to take his time with you and he was thoroughly enjoying his current activities, but it seemed you had other plans in mind.
"Dean," you whined. "Need you."
He gave your nipple one last gentle lick before lifting his head. "I'm right here, baby."
You rolled your hips against his throbbing cock and he groaned. Clearly you wanted more and he was in no position to deny you anything.
He gripped you tightly and stood up. You yelped in surprise and wrapped your legs around his waist. He turned around so your back was to the couch and he slowly lowered you down, placing you on the couch in front of him. He kneeled down and looked up at you, eyes dark with desire.
His hands slid slowly up your thighs, coming to a stop at the hem of your pants. "Can I take these off?"
You nodded rapidly.
He smirked and began to peel your leggings down at a painfully slow pace. You whined in annoyance, but Dean simply smiled. "Patience, sweetheart."
Finally, your pants, and subsequently your underwear, were tossed onto the floor, leaving you completely bare before him. There was a small part of you that felt self-conscious being naked in front of Dean. It was always uncomfortable for you the first time you found yourself in this position with a new man, but Dean was different. You weren't sure if it was the hunger in his gaze, the affection he clearly had for you, or the love you felt for him...you felt safe, you felt comfortable, and you felt loved. That was all that mattered.
Dean licked his lips in anticipation as he slowly spread your legs, revealing your soaking wet pussy to him. He groaned softly, spreading your legs wider to get an even better view.
"Now that's the prettiest pussy I've ever seen," he murmured. He slid a finger between your folds to collect some of your juices before bringing the finger to his mouth. He sucked it clean with a moan of enjoyment. "Delicious."
Before you had time to react, Dean had grabbed your hips and dragged you forward so you were closer to the edge of the couch. His mouth was on you in an instant, feasting on you like he might never eat again.
Your head fell back against the cushion and soft moans began to stream from your lips. Your legs rested on his shoulders and your hand gripped his hair tightly. Salacious sounds filled the room and you were glad Sam was gone for the night. You had a feeling it was only going to get louder.
Dean's experience in the bedroom was very evident as he ate you out. He was extremely skilled, but more importantly he paid attention to you. He was desperate to learn exactly what drove you wild and he wouldn't stop until he'd mapped out all of your pleasure points.
"Dean," you gasped softly, grip on his hair tightening.
He knew you were close, the way your legs began to tremble and your grip on his hair indicating your impending orgasm like a flashing neon sign.
His fingers dug into your hips, holding you in place so you couldn't squirm away. With expert precision, Dean spelled his own full name against your clit with his tongue, sending you into a spiral of moaning, shaking bliss.
Dean continued to lap up your juices as you came down, and to your surprise, he didn't stop, even as you began to tug on his hair in earnest. "Please, Dean! Too much," you pleaded.
Dean sucked your little bundle of nerves into his mouth and slipped two fingers inside of you. He quickly found your sweet spot and began to drag his fingers along it repeatedly. The shock waves of pleasure had you changing your pleas to moans in seconds.
Your pussy gripped his fingers like iron and he couldn't wait to feel you grip his cock in the same fashion. He hadn't even been inside you yet and he already knew he would never want another woman's body the way he wanted yours.
"Dean!" you cried out, thick thighs squeezing his head, hips gyrating against his mouth as you came once again.
He lapped up everything you had to give him hungrily--wishing he could stay between your legs forever. This time, however, he allowed you to pull him up by his hair.
You were completely breathless, chest rising and falling rapidly. Dean licked his lips and wondered how sexy you'd look riding him, breasts bouncing as he slammed up into you.
"I think," you mumbled, "you have...too much...clothing on."
He laughed at your breathless remark. He had to agree with your sentiment, so he stood up and removed his shirt quickly. When he stood, you were rewarded with a nice view of his erection pressing against the confines of his sweats.
He smiled at you and slowly lowered his pants, revealing his very large member. The tip was red and throbbing, precum leaking from the slit. You licked your lips and eyed him hungrily, wanting to wrap your lips around it with a desperation that surprised you.
"Sit," you begged.
Dean smirked and obliged, sitting down beside you. You slid off the couch and crawled the short distance to settle between his legs.
Your soft hands wrapped around his cock and he groaned softly. "You're so big," you whispered.
"Your hands are small," he teased.
"But my mouth isn't."
Dean didn't have the time to process your sassy comment before your mouth wrapped around him and you began to suck his cock in earnest.
"Holy fuck-" he groaned, head falling back against the cushion.
He tangled his hand in your hair and gently guided your head as you began to take his cock deeper into your throat. You flexed the back of your tongue as you did so and he groaned loudly.
Having gotten the reaction you'd desired, you did the same move a couple more times, allowing his cock to almost leave your mouth before sucking him deep into your throat.
His grip on your hair tightened and his hips thrust forward, causing you to gag slightly. Instead of trying to lift off him, you breathed deeply through your nose and held steady, relaxing your throat as best as you could.
"Baby, you're doing so good for me," Dean murmured. "Making me feel amazing."
You moaned around his cock and reached between his legs to cup his balls and give them a gentle squeeze. His hips bucked slightly at the action, causing you to smirk.
You continued to suck his cock until he tugged your hair a little more harshly. "You gotta stop, doll, or I'm gonna cum."
You hummed in disappointment, but allowed him to pull you off his cock with a soft popping sound. He looked down at you with lust filled eyes and beckoned you towards him.
"Come up here, baby. I wanna touch you," he begged.
You climbed onto the couch with him, straddling his legs once again. You lowered yourself slowly, rubbing his cock against your wet core. You leaned forward to kiss him and repeated the action. He moaned against your lips before pressing his tongue against them, demanding entry.
You parted your lips and kissed him deeply, allowing his tongue to assert dominance. The kiss was passionate and loving, but the fire that burned inside of both of you in that moment only cared about pleasure.
"I need to be inside you," Dean whispered against your lips.
"Please," you begged him, rutting against him once more.
He gripped his cock tightly and lined himself up with your entrance. Once the tip pressed against your tight opening, he released his grip, hands settling on your hips to help guide you down.
You moaned softly as you continued to lower yourself onto his cock--the stretch both painful and enjoyable all at once. He was larger than you were accustomed to, both in girth and in length, and it almost felt as if you were a virgin all over again.
You had to lean forward, pressing your body against his for support as you lowered yourself down completely. You'd never felt so full, your toes curled at the mere feeling.
"You okay, baby?" Dean murmured, hands gently rubbing soothing circles into your back as he allowed you time to adjust.
"Never better," you whispered in reply.
You pulled yourself up into a proper sitting position and gasped as he somehow sank even deeper into you.
Dean worried he'd hurt you until he saw the look in your eye. His concern quickly turned to a smirk of pride. He pressed his hand against your lower abdomen and growled, "You feel that, baby? I'm so deep inside you, you'll be feeling me for days."
You moaned softly, his words having the desired effect on you. You rolled your hips a little and he hissed softly.
"Fuck, doll."
He gripped your hips as you started to move, bouncing up and down on his cock slowly.
His lips attached themselves to your jaw, your neck, your collarbone--anywhere he could reach. He was reveling in the feeling of your soft body against his muscular one, your curves providing him with plenty of flesh to hold on to.
"You feel so good, baby," he moaned in your ear. "Pussy squeezing me so tight--can hardly breathe."
"Feels good, Dean," you whimper.
"Yeah, baby? You like the way my cock feels in your pretty little pussy? Stretching you just right--you were made for me."
You preened at the praise, which only made him want to praise you more.
"This perfect body of yours makes me feel so good, sweetheart. You take my cock so well. Wanna stay here forever just making you feel good--listening to those sweet sounds you make. Fuck, never wanna stop."
You loved his praise, but your thighs were starting to get tired from the exertion. Dean could feel you slowing down, so he pulled you forward, pressing your chest flush against his.
"I've got you, baby. Let me take over," he whispered.
You gripped his shoulders and nodded, more than willing to allow him to take control.
As soon as he felt your body relax against him, he planted his feet firmly on the floor and began to piston up into you. He held you tightly against him to prevent you from moving too much.
"Dean!" you cried, nails digging into his shoulders.
His cock pressed into your g-spot with each thrust and in a matter of moments, you were teetering on the edge of another orgasm.
"Can feel you squeezing me, baby. You gonna cum for me? Huh?" Dean asked huskily. "You gonna coat my cock with your sweet cum, baby? Cum for me, sweet girl. Wanna feel it."
You loved the way he begged and it had you coming undone in an instant. You screamed his name as your walls fluttered around his cock. It took all of his focus not to cum along with you.
"That's my good girl," he whispered. "I'm gonna cum soon, doll. Where you want it?"
"Inside me," you begged. "Please, Dean--fill me up."
"Oh, fuck-" Dean moaned loudly as he came, coating your walls with his seed.
After a few more thrusts, Dean stilled. He continued to hold you tightly against him, needing to feel you close to him as he came down from his high.
He rubbed your back soothingly and placed a soft kiss to your damp hairline. "You were so good for me, (Y/N/N)."
You kissed his shoulder. "Felt so good, Dean."
He smiled and squeezed you tighter. He sighed contentedly, enjoying the feeling of the woman he loved pressed against his chest.
His cock had begun to soften and his cum was leaking out of you and onto his thighs, but he couldn't be bothered. Taking care of you was his one and only priority.
"Do you need some water, sweetheart?" he asked softly.
You shook your head.
"Food?"
You shook your head again.
"Tell me what you need, baby," he begged.
You finally lifted your head to look him in his eyes. "I know it's cliché to say I love you after sex, but I don't care. I love you, Dean...I love you wholly and completely."
Dean nearly breathed a sigh of relief at your admission. "I can't even begin to express how happy it makes me to hear you say those words. I've been pushing the feeling down for years, but I can't do it anymore, (Y/N). I love you with everything I have--it might not be much, but it's yours. You have me forever--mind, body, and soul."
You smiled and gently caressed his cheek. He leaned into your touch and closed his eyes. You kissed him softly, which he immediately returned in kind.
When you separated, you noticed a mischievous glint in his bright green eyes. "Dean?"
"What are your thoughts about round two in my bedroom?"
You laughed lightly. "Are you gonna kick me out of your bed at 2am?"
"Not if you don't snore," he teased.
You smacked his shoulder affectionately and he laughed. "You're lucky you're so damn cute."
He grinned. "Actually, I'm adorable."
You rolled your eyes playfully. "You know, I think I like the idea of round two."
Dean smiled and pulled you even closer. "Hold onto me, sweetheart."
You gripped him tightly and he stood up, holding you to his chest. You wrapped your legs around his waist and he headed towards his bedroom.
When he entered his room, he gently tossed you onto the bed, earning a soft giggle from your lips. He climbed on top of you, pressing sweet kisses to your skin for several moments before finally kissing your soft lips.
"I'm glad you skipped 'Unattached Drifter Christmas' this year," you murmured.
He smiled. "Me too, baby. I think it's more 'Attached Drifter Christmas' now."
You laughed. "I love you, you dork."
He kissed you again. "Not as much as I love you."
The two of you spent the next couple hours continuing to explore each other's bodies, experiencing blinding pleasure over and over again.
Nothing could ever compare to the love you felt for each other, and in spite of everything, you both fell asleep in the comfort of each other's arms, dreaming of the beautiful future ahead.
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fatecantstopme · 2 months
Text
What I'd Give
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Pairing: Dean Winchester x plus size!reader
Summary: When Dean is gravely injured on a hunt, (Y/N) makes a deal to save him--a deal that might just cost her everything.
Warnings: canon violence, swearing, mentions of death/dying. SMUT, dom/sub vibes, choking kink, overstimulation, oral (F receiving), unprotected sex (P in V)
You screamed helplessly as you watched your best friend and fellow hunter be thrown from the window across the room. You'd just managed to stab the demon you were fighting a mere second before you heard the breaking of glass.
You yanked the angel blade out of the demon's chest and ran straight towards the demon who'd just tossed your friend out the window. You stabbed the demon in the back, bringing an end to the fight.
You looked out the window and saw the horrific scene three stories down. Your heart clenched in your chest as you raced to the stairs, making it outside in record time.
"Dean!" you cried as you reached his broken body. "No, no, no, no..."
You were almost afraid to touch him--afraid to search for a pulse and not find one. You exhaled sharply and pulled yourself together, placing a firm hand against his neck. You could feel a very weak pulse beneath your fingertips and you knew he was in trouble.
The fall had certainly broken some bones and he likely had internal injuries of some kind. The glass from the window had sliced his skin in a million places, and you were worried he would have severe head trauma as well.
Normally, you would call out to Castiel and he would come running to save Dean, but this wasn't a normal day. Cas had been missing in action for weeks, and neither you nor the Winchesters knew where he was.
Dean's safety--his survival--depended solely on you. The two of you had been hunting alone, while Sam was out helping Garth on a different hunt. You'd hunted together countless times, but neither of you had ever been this seriously injured.
You knew he was dying--as surely as if there was a neon sign screaming "death!" above his head. You couldn't stand the thought of losing him, so you made a decision that would change your life.
"Anyone who's listening, I need your help," you called out. "Please...I will do anything...just save him."
You waited in silence for a few moments, hoping against hope someone would hear your call and take pity on you. You weren't exactly on good terms with most angels, but you couldn't help but hope at least one of them would care.
You heard the soft flap of wings that always signaled the arrival of an angel and you looked up hopefully. You inhaled sharply when your eyes met the glowing red eyes of the man who had come to rescue you--or should you say, archangel.
"Well hello, (Y/N). It's nice to see you again."
"Lucifer," you hissed lowly.
"In the flesh!"
"What are you doing here?"
"I heard your call," he said simply. "And well, let's be honest, no one else is coming to help you."
"Did you come here to gloat?"
"Of course not. Even I'm not cruel enough to find joy in the death of Dean Winchester."
"Then why did you come?"
"To save him, obviously."
Surprise lit up your face. Out of all the responses you'd expected, that hadn't been on the list. "Pardon?"
Lucifer smiled darkly. "For a small fee, of course."
"Ahh," you acknowledged. "That sounds more like it. What do you want?"
"Nothing too extravagant."
"Lucifer..." you growled.
"As you can see, this vessel isn't doing so well." He gestured to himself and you had to admit, he looked like absolute shit. "In fact, it's dying...which means I'm in need of a new one."
"Absolutely not," you said instantly. "He would never say yes to you."
Lucifer smirked. "I wasn't referring to him."
Your eyes widened. "I'm not an archangel vessel," you whispered.
"No, but you are a vessel. And I think you're strong enough to contain me long enough to find me a better one."
You swallowed thickly. There was no way you were going to agree to this...you knew what being an archangel's vessel would do to you and you weren't exactly interested in being strapped to a nuclear bomb.
"No," you said firmly.
"Suit yourself," he said with a shrug. "But just remember, Dean's death will be on your hands now."
You exhaled in defeat as you looked down at the man in your arms. You knew he was close to death--no hospital would be able to save him. Lucifer was your only option.
"Save him first," you whispered.
Lucifer smirked, knowing he'd won. "I would, (Y/N), but this vessel is simply too weak. I would need your body in order to save him."
You looked up into his dark eyes and considered his words. "I don't trust you."
"You would be a fool to trust me after all we've been through. However, I need you...and I need Dean alive and well to help me find an archangel vessel. Possessing you is a good motivator for him."
You clenched your jaw as you thought about your options. It took you mere moments to realize you didn't have any. You would rather die than allow Dean to...so your decision was made in an instant.
"Fine," you murmured softly. You looked up at the monster standing before you and exhaled slowly. "Yes," you breathed.
Lucifer wasted no time--immediately exiting his vessel and entering your body, taking over in an instant.
It was painful, feeling his energy within you, and you knew with absolute certainty you wouldn't be surviving this--no way in hell.
To your surprise, you were fully aware of everything happening around you. You could still see and hear--but you had no control over your body in any way.
Lucifer--you--reached out to Dean and touched him. Your palms began to glow and you watched the various wounds on his body heal quickly. His bright green eyes slowly blinked open and he looked up at you in surprise and confusion.
"What happened?" he groaned.
"You got tossed out a window," your voice said, though it was not you speaking.
Dean sat up and rubbed at his head. He looked down at himself, clearly surprised by his lack of serious injuries. "I fell three stories down..."
You nodded.
"How am I not dead?"
You felt your lips curl into a smile--a slightly cruel smile you knew was not your own. "You're welcome."
Dean's eyes narrowed in confusion. "What?"
Unbeknownst to you, your eyes began to glow red, alerting Dean to the presence of someone else in your body--and there was only one creature you knew whose eyes glowed red.
"Lucifer?" Dean yelled angrily.
"The one and only," he replied.
"How the hell...why are you...where's (Y/N)?"
"Oh she's right here," he said with a smile, tapping the side of your head. "Watching and listening like a little creep."
"Well it is my head, you asshole," you mumbled.
"Doesn't mean it's not creepy," Lucifer's voice hissed inside your mind.
You didn't like the idea that Lucifer could hear your thoughts and speak to you like that...and it made you wonder what else he could see within your mind.
"Everything," he teased darkly.
"Fuck."
"Get the hell out of her body," Dean growled.
"Not a chance, buck-o. (Y/N) was kind enough to invite me in, so I think I'll stay a while."
Dean pulled an angel blade out of his back pocket and pointed it at you. You knew he would never use it if it meant killing you too. It was an idle threat and Lucifer knew it.
Lucifer simply laughed. "You're not going to use that, so put it away."
"Get out of her and I won't have to."
"Oh please, you won't kill her."
Dean's expression remained impassive, but you could see his resolve waning. You knew him too well to miss the small tells. Unfortunately, that meant Lucifer knew him just as well.
"Let's make this easy on ourselves," he began. "Everything (Y/N) knows, I know. Every memory, every thought, every feeling, everything. So put the damn blade down before I have to break your arm."
You could see the anger on Dean's face, but he lowered the blade and slipped it back inside his jacket. "Why the hell did she invite you in?"
"You were about 5 minutes from death and she couldn't save you."
"So what, she called out to you?" Dean asked in disbelief.
"She called out to everyone...I'm just the only one who responded." You felt your eyes glance around in slight concern. "Speaking of, we should probably get out of here, just in case."
Dean nodded and lead the way to the Impala, which was parked a short distance away. You got into the passenger seat like usual and you saw Dean tense up at your proximity. He clearly didn't like the idea of the Devil riding shotgun.
"So why did you heal me?"
"I need your help," Lucifer admitted.
"What makes you think I'd ever help you?"
"I knew you wouldn't, which is why I convinced (Y/N) to let me have her body for a little while."
"Convinced?"
"I may have told her a little white lie--that my old vessel was too weak for me to save you. She didn't exactly offer herself up, but she didn't fight very hard when she realized I was her only option."
"You slimy son of a bitch," you growled.
"I'm the devil, (Y/N). What did you expect?"
"You son of a bitch," Dean mumbled, echoing your sentiments. "What exactly do you want from me?"
"I need to find an actual archangel vessel. I'm getting tired of jumping from vessel to vessel...they keep burning out. It's rather tiresome."
"Well you're not touching Sam, or me for that matter."
"I wouldn't dream of it," he insisted. "I know there are others out there, but I need someone with your connections to help me locate one."
Dean raised his eyebrows. "My connections?"
"Well, Bobby Singer's connections, really...but the best way to him is through you, and the best way to you is through her."
Dean exhaled angrily. You knew he was mad at you just as much as he was mad at Lucifer. You were surprised he hadn't given you an earful yet, even with Lucifer listening in.
"Fine," Dean grumbled. "But the moment we find you a vessel, I want you out of her body. Do you understand me?"
"Perfectly," Lucifer answered.
"Now just sit there quietly until we get to Bobby's, understand? I want absolute silence."
"Well that's boring--"
"I can't stand hearing you speak with her voice, okay? So shut up."
Lucifer smirked, but fell silent, deciding instead to annoy you.
"He's mad at you, isn't he?"
"I said yes to you...of course he's mad."
"Does he know?"
"Know what?"
"How you feel about him?"
"I would really like you to shut the hell up now, Lucifer," you hissed.
"But I'm so bored," he whined.
"I don't give a damn and neither does Dean. It's about 2 hours to Bobby's place...can you be silent for 2 hours?"
"Fine," he grumbled. "It'll give me more time to dig around in your brain anyway..."
"Shit--no!"
You tried to shut him out of your mind as best as you could, but you could still feel him rooting around in your head...making himself at home and digging into memories and thoughts and feelings that were never meant to be shared with another soul.
**********
"What an unsightly place," Lucifer grumbled as he--you--followed Dean up the stairs to Bobby's door.
Dean shot an annoyed glare in your direction, but didn't comment.
"Bobby!" he called as he entered the house.
Bobby came into view and offered you both a tired smile. "Hey you two. What brings you to Sioux Falls?"
"We were close by on a hunt and now we need your help," Dean answered.
"Sure. Come on in."
Neither you, nor Lucifer, had said a word of greeting to Bobby, which struck the older man as odd.
"You alright, (Y/N)?"
"Oh I'm just peachy," your voice answered.
Bobby's eyes narrowed at you, immediately noticing your voice was off. Besides, you didn't tend to talk to Bobby like that.
Before Bobby could question you, Dean spoke up. "We need to find an archangel vessel...as fast as possible."
Bobby stared at him for a moment. "Dean, you are an archangel vessel."
"Yeah, well I need one to house the devil--and it ain't gonna be me or Sam."
"Why the hell do you need a vessel for Lucifer?"
Your hand reached out and tapped Bobby on the shoulder. Judging by Bobby's shocked expression, you assumed your eyes were once again glowing red. Bobby quickly took a step back, looking between you and Dean in confusion.
"It's a long story," Dean muttered. "But I don't want him riding shotgun in (Y/N)'s head any longer than necessary, so we need to find him another vessel."
"Preferably before this current one starts to rot from the inside out," Lucifer added.
"Seriously, Lucifer?"
"Well that is essentially what happens, you know. I wouldn't want to damage such a pretty face."
"Oh fuck off," you grumbled.
"Why in god's name would she say yes to you?" Bobby asked angrily.
"To save my life, okay?" Dean snapped. "Look--we don't have time for this. I need your help to find another vessel. Please."
Bobby sighed and crossed the room to his desk, which was covered in books and papers--an organizational system only Bobby understood. He eyed you warily, but he didn't comment on the situation further.
"I assume you know how to find an archangel vessel," Lucifer commented.
"Perhaps you could enlighten me," Bobby responded.
Lucifer sighed and began to tell Bobby what he needed to look for. You ignored the words coming from our own mouth, instead focusing on Dean. You could see how upset he was and it made you feel incredibly foolish. You hated seeing him like this, but you didn't regret your decision. The mere fact he was alive to be angry made this whole thing worth it.
"How long do you think it'll take?" Dean asked, interrupting your thoughts.
"A week or two--maybe a little more," Bobby answered.
Dean looked in your direction, eyeing you with concern. "Will (Y/N) last that long?"
"Might wanna keep it closer to two weeks," Lucifer replied.
"You're lying, aren't you?" you asked quietly.
"Do you want me to tell them the truth?"
You sighed internally. "I think Dean deserves to know."
"A week would be even better," Lucifer said aloud.
Dean stared at you, worry deepening the lines on his face. His gaze traced your face, searching for any signs of deception--or maybe signs of damage.
"Well then," Bobby muttered. "Better get started."
**********
You sat in the corner, feet up on another chair as you watched Dean and Bobby. You could tell both of them were extremely worried, but their focus was on finding another vessel. They didn't have time to dive into their fears for your life.
Lucifer, on the other hand, seemed to think he had all the time in the world. He was quite happy to torture you instead of providing the two hunters with any assistance.
"Why haven't you told Dean?" he asked for what had to be the 1,000th time.
"There's nothing to tell, Lucifer. Would you just back off?"
"You're really no fun, you know that?"
"Good. This isn't supposed to be fun for you."
"I can make it fun."
"I'd really rather you not."
"Too late!" he said gleefully.
You could feel him poking around inside your head again, searching for something he could use to hurt you with--or hurt Dean with. You tried to keep him away from your darkest secrets, from the things you'd never shared with another soul, not even Dean. But you noticed it was getting harder and harder to resist him. You weren't sure if it was because he was so strong or if you were becoming weaker. Either way, it was only a matter of time before Lucifer found something he shouldn't.
Unfortunately for you, that moment came much sooner than you'd anticipated.
"(Y/N)--fuck, I mean Lucifer...can I talk to you outside for a moment?" Dean asked suddenly, rising from his chair and heading outside without waiting for a reply.
"Well this should be fun," you mumbled internally.
"I assure you," Lucifer mocked. "It will be."
You felt your body moving, feet heading after Dean whether you wanted to or not.
Once outside, Dean turned to face you, eyes filled with a multitude of emotions you couldn't stand to see. "I want to talk to (Y/N)."
"Oh come now," Lucifer said. "You know that's not how it works."
"I know you can shut up and take a backseat. So that's what I want."
"Hmm..." Lucifer hummed thoughtfully. "You know, I'd rather not. Besides, (Y/N) doesn't really feel like talking to you right now."
"Fuck you, Lucifer. Let me talk to him!"
"Sorry, sweetheart. Ain't happening."
"Somehow I doubt that," Dean grumbled angrily.
"You can doubt it all you want, but I'm the one physically inside her head. I know what she's thinking and let me tell you, it's not very complimentary of you."
"What?" Dean asked in surprised confusion.
"You have no idea what she really thinks of you, do you?"
"Lucifer, what the hell are you doing?" you growled.
He ignored you, instead focusing on his conversation with Dean.
"She's my best friend," Dean responded. "What more do I need to know?"
Lucifer laughed cruelly. "I'm sorry, that's just too funny. You think she's your best friend?"
You could see the look of hurt cross Dean's face for a moment, but he quickly covered it up.
"Sorry," Lucifer said, laughter subsiding. "It's just hilarious that you think she cares about you that much."
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"She's tired of you, Dean. She's tired of your stubbornness, your self-loathing, your reckless behavior. She's tired of everything to do with you. She doesn't care about you--not really, anyway. You annoy the shit out of her, but she puts up with you because she feels like she has to."
You fought with everything you had to overpower Lucifer and take control of your mind and body. Not a single word Lucifer was uttering was true and you desperately wanted to tell Dean the truth.
"Stop fighting, (Y/N). You can't win," Lucifer whispered.
"Stop lying to him and I'll stop fighting," you insisted.
"No. I'm simply having too much fun."
Dean's face was impassive to the average person, but you saw through the mask on his face, and so did Lucifer. "I don't believe you," Dean said softly.
"You don't have to believe me. They're not my words. I'm simply relaying (Y/N)'s thoughts," Lucifer said with a shrug. "Haven't you ever wondered how she puts up with all your shit? You're not exactly walking sunshine, Dean. You're one of the most damaged humans I've ever met."
Dean inhaled deeply. "If she hates me so much, why does she stay?"
"Isn't it obvious?"
Neither you nor Dean knew what Lucifer was going to say next...and his words cut deeper than you'd expected them to.
"She's in love with your brother," Lucifer sneered.
"Lucifer, no!" you screamed.
Dean's eyes widened and shock settled onto his face. He turned around, his back to you in an attempt to collect himself.
You fought even harder...you needed to get this son of a bitch out of your body. It felt like you were locked inside your own mind with no way out. Lucifer was too strong and the harder you fought, the weaker you became. You quickly realized the more energy you expended, the stronger he became...there was no use in fighting him.
"You're a monster," you whispered.
"They call me the devil for a reason.'"
You didn't bother responding to him. Your heart was aching for Dean and all you wanted was to comfort him. You knew exactly where his head would be at right now and it was killing you.
He'd always compared himself to Sam--at least as long as you'd known him. He seemed to think Sam was better than him in a lot of ways and certainly more lovable. The mere idea that you agreed with that sentiment...that you loved Sam...it would break him and you knew it.
"Sam is better than you in every way," Lucifer added, stoking the fire. "Why would anyone love you when they could have Sam? He's everything you're not...sure of himself, confident, open and honest. Sam is better for (Y/N) than you could ever be."
Dean turned back around, face a mask of impassiveness once again. "Let's find you a vessel so you can get the hell out of our lives," he said in a low voice. "Besides, I wouldn't want to get in the way of Sam and (Y/N)'s love."
If you'd been capable of crying, you knew the tears would be streaming down your face in that moment. Your heart ached in a way you were unfamiliar with and you hoped Lucifer could feel the pain the same way you did.
"Why?" you whispered.
"Why what?"
"Why'd you say that to him?"
Lucifer laughed. "Simple...I knew it would hurt both of you. You're in love with him and if his reaction was anything to go by, it looks like he feels the same."
"We're both helping you right now. Why can't you just be grateful for 10 fucking minutes?" you hissed.
"Where's the fun in that?"
You knew the question was rhetorical, so you didn't bother responding. Instead, you quietly watched Dean walk away and you knew he was going to lose his shit. You could feel it as clearly as your own emotions.
"Let's follow him," Lucifer said happily.
"Let him take his anger out without an audience," you snapped.
Lucifer ignored you and quietly followed after Dean, keeping a distance to avoid being noticed.
Once Dean was farther away from the house and seemingly alone, he grabbed a crowbar from a nearby bench and began to beat the ever-loving-shit out of a junker car.
If you'd wondered about Dean's feelings for you before (and you had), you didn't wonder anymore. It was clear he cared about you in the same way you cared about him and you hated seeing him in such pain.
You wanted nothing more than to go to him, but Lucifer was much happier standing to the side and watching Dean suffer alone.
"Please," you whispered.
"You can tell him I'm a lying bastard if you manage to survive this."
"You and I both know that's not likely," you sighed quietly. "I don't want him to suffer and I don't want to die with him thinking I hate him."
"Pity. Guess you should have told him sooner..."
"Oh fuck off, Lucifer," you growled.
Lucifer's laughter echoed in your head and you hated him in that moment more than you could even begin to express.
**********
"You alright kid?" Bobby asked Dean when he returned to the house an hour or so later.
Lucifer, and therefore you, had returned shortly after watching Dean fall apart. When he'd dropped to his knees, tears streaming down his face, Lucifer had gotten bored and left.
"I'm fine," Dean lied. "Do you have any leads?"
"I've put out my feelers to every person I could think of. I'm sure someone will have something for me soon."
"Did you call Sam?"
Bobby shook his head. "I assumed you did."
"Call him and let him know what's going on. I'm going out."
"Where are you going?"
"Yeah, Dean," Lucifer chimed in, "where are you going?"
"The nearest bar. Don't wait up."
You tried to say his name, but your mouth refused to form the word.
As soon as Dean was out of earshot, Bobby turned his attention to you. "What the hell did you say to him?"
"Me?" Lucifer asked, feigning innocence. "Why would you think I did something?"
"Maybe because you're the devil?" Bobby answered sarcastically.
Lucifer smirked darkly. "I may have poked at all of his insecurities."
Bobby groaned. "You're a son of a bitch, you know that?"
"That's not a nice thing to say about my Father."
Bobby just glared at you and rolled his eyes. He got up and left the room and you assumed he was going to call Sam.
"I second Bobby's comment."
"I wear it like a badge of honor."
You knew exactly what Dean was going to do and it was killing you. He was going to drink until he couldn't feel a thing, pick up some random girl, and fuck her senseless--anything to feel something other than the ache in his chest. You knew him better than he knew himself...but in this moment, you desperately wished you didn't. You would give anything to not know what he was going to do.
**********
Three days later, one of Bobby's sources had a lead on a potential archangel vessel.
Dean hadn't spoken to you or Lucifer unless he absolutely had to. It was too hard to even look at your face and hearing your voice was a thousand times worse.
Sam was still out on a hunt with Garth, but he promised to be there to help as soon as he could.
"Do you want me to come with you?" Bobby asked Dean as the two of you were preparing to leave.
"The less people involved, the better. Stay here in case we need more intel," Dean responded.
"I don't like the idea of you traveling alone with Lucifer."
"I'll be fine."
Bobby didn't believe him anymore than you did, but neither of you commented on it--not that you could have if you'd wanted to.
As you/Lucifer and Dean climbed into the Impala, Dean didn't spare a glance in your direction.
"Isn't this fun?" Lucifer asked. "I've always wanted to go on a roadtrip."
Dean groaned. "What are the chances you'll be quiet during this drive?"
"Slim to none," Lucifer said with a smirk.
The response almost made Dean smile. It sounded like something you would say and technically it was your voice. He had to remind himself you weren't really talking to him--every word out of your mouth was Lucifer.
Dean took off without another word and you silently prayed this lead would pan out. You were extremely tired and it had only been about four days since Lucifer had possessed you.
By this point, you were having a hard time focusing on what was happening in the real world. You were in pain and you could feel your body weakening...you were dying and you knew it. You just hoped Dean didn't notice.
**********
By the time the three of you arrived at your destination, you were feeling terrible. You weren't even sure how much time had passed since you'd left Bobby's. In fact, you were pretty sure you'd fallen asleep very early on.
"It's been about 12 hours," Lucifer told you.
"I slept for 12 hours?"
"You're dying," he said nonchalantly. "So you're going to have a harder time staying awake."
"Great," you whispered sarcastically.
"Lucifer!" Dean growled. "You coming?"
"Of course."
Lucifer followed Dean into a building you assumed was an apartment complex. Sometime during the elevator ride, you must have fallen unconscious again, because when you opened your eyes again, you found yourself standing in a nice apartment.
Dean was talking calmly to a young man who looked moderately terrified.
"Is he the vessel?" you mumbled.
"Yes. I can feel it," Lucifer responded.
"Thank god..."
"I'm sorry, you want me to allow the literal devil to possess me?" the young man practically yelled at Dean. "That's assuming I even believe in the devil."
"Look man," Dean said with surprising calmness. "I know I sound insane, but it's all real. We need an archangel vessel and like it or not, that's you."
"What if I don't want to say yes?"
Dean grabbed him by his collar. "Then the woman he's currently wearing will die...and I will do anything to prevent that." His voice was low, barely above a growl.
The young man looked terrified, eyes wide with fear. "Are you threatening me?" he whispered.
Dean straightened out the guy's shirt and gave him a dark smile. "Of course not."
"So I have a choice?"
Lucifer chuckled. "Don't think for a moment he'll give you an option, kid."
The guy looked at you and you felt terrible for him. You understood his fear and apprehension...and it felt wrong to force Lucifer onto him. This kid didn't deserve it.
"We shouldn't be doing this," you mumbled.
"Too late, (Y/N). Dean knows he's an archangel vessel. There's no way he's going to leave without getting him to say yes."
You wanted to respond--to fight, but you couldn't. You were too weak...too tired. Everything hurt too much.
"What's it like?" the guy asked softly.
"Like being strapped to a rocket," Lucifer said snidely.
Dean shot him an annoyed glance. "You'll be fine. You were meant for this."
The guy's gaze remained fixated on you. "She looks like shit...am I going to look like that?"
Dean finally focused his gaze on your face and you saw the fear flash in his eyes. He could see you were dying. Your skin was pale, your eyes bloodshot, dark circles adorning them...your lips were cracked and there were slight lacerations appearing around your forehead and jawline.
"She wasn't meant to house the power of an archangel," Lucifer responded. "She's dying, but the same won't happen to you."
"Will she be okay if I say yes?"
"Yes," Lucifer lied smoothly.
The guy looked like he was contemplating what to do, so Dean spoke up again.
"Look, kid. She's important to me...more important to me than pretty much anyone else in this fucked up world. I would do anything to save her...she's--she's my brother's girl."
You wanted to tell him that wasn't true, but you knew it was fruitless to even try. Even still, your heart ached at his words.
"How long?" the guy asked, directing his question at Lucifer.
"As long as I want. You'll never age, never die, as long as I'm with you."
The guy nodded. "Alright. I'll do it." He stood up. "What do I need to do?"
"Just say 'yes'," Lucifer answered.
"Yes."
A bright white light filled the room and Dean had to shield his eyes. When the light faded, you were lying on the floor and Lucifer was now clearly possessing the young man they'd come to find.
"(Y/N)!" Dean yelled as he raced to your side.
Your pulse was faint and you looked even worse than you had moments before.
"Heal her," Dean demanded.
Lucifer's lips curled up in a cruel smile. "No."
"Excuse me?"
"I said no," he repeated. "I'm not interested in saving her."
"You wouldn't have a vessel without us. You owe her!"
"I'm the devil, Dean. What makes you think I give a damn about debts?"
Dean stared at him, anger and terror fighting for control in equal measure. He stood up and went to lunge at Lucifer, but the archangel simply disappeared, leaving you and Dean completely helpless and alone.
**********
Dean had rushed you to the hospital and was currently sitting in the waiting room, hoping to hear something about your condition.
Sam rushed into the room, eyes scanning for his brother. When he saw him, Sam crossed the distance and wrapped Dean in a tight hug.
"How is she?" Sam asked.
"I don't know," Dean said quietly. "But it doesn't look good."
"She's strong, Dean."
"I don't think that matters...her body was never meant to house an archangel and she managed to do it for almost a week. She's dying, Sammy."
Sam's eyes filled with tears, but he blinked rapidly to keep them from falling.
Dean's heart ached, seeing his brother look so upset. He would be lying if he said he didn't feel a broken emptiness in his soul--a space you used to occupy. But he needed to push past his own pain for his brother's sake. After all...you weren't his.
"For (Y/N)?" a doctor called into the waiting room.
Dean and Sam practically ran in her direction. Dean's heart clenched in his chest as he took in the doctor's sad expression.
"Are you (Y/N)'s family?"
Both men nodded.
"Come with me, please," the doctor said quietly.
They followed her to a private waiting area and Dean's dread increased significantly. "What's going on?" he asked worriedly.
"Please have a seat," the doctor asked, gesturing toward the chairs against the wall. She closed the door before taking her seat across from them.
"My name's Dr. Murphy. I'm (Y/N)'s treating physician."
"I'm Sam and this is my brother Dean."
"There's no easy way to say this," Dr. Murphy said gently. "(Y/N)'s injuries are quite severe and she's in critical condition."
"But she's going to be okay, right?" Dean asked hopefully.
Dr. Murphy frowned and shook her head. "Her organs have begun to shut down...it's only a matter of time now. The best I can do is try to keep her comfortable."
"No," Dean whispered. "No, she can't--"
Sam placed a hand on Dean's shoulder, trying to comfort his brother.
"I'm very sorry," Dr. Murphy murmured.
Dean suddenly stood up. "I can't do this. I need--I need air."
He practically ran from the room and Sam got up to follow him, but Dr. Murphy placed a gentle hand on his arm. "I think it's best to give him a moment."
Sam nodded as he desperately tried to push his own emotions away. He adored you, but he knew exactly how much Dean loved you...so he knew how much pain his brother was in right now. It hurt him almost as much as losing you.
***********
Once Dean was outside, he ran around to the side of the building, desperate to be alone for a moment. He collapsed onto the ground, back against the hard stone of the hospital exterior. All of the tears he'd been pushing back for days finally poured out.
He found himself falling apart in public--something he couldn't recall doing before. He couldn't bring himself to care. You were dying and it was killing him. It was all his fault. If he hadn't been so careless, he wouldn't have gotten injured and you never would have had to beg Lucifer to save him.
He knew it wasn't a rational way of thinking, but in that moment, it didn't matter. You were about to become just another name on a never ending list of people who died because of him. He couldn't take it--it was too much.
"I know I'm not exactly on good terms with any of you and I probably don't deserve your help, but I'm not asking for myself. (Y/N) is dying and I can't save her. I'm not normally the kind of man to beg, but I'm on my knees right now...begging for just one of you to find it in yourself to give a damn. She doesn't deserve this. She's the best person I've ever known...so please. Please someone answer me. Please..." His voice was broken by the end of his short speech.
He was desperate and there was nothing he wouldn't do to save her. If no angel would help him...he wasn't above making a deal with a demon. He'd been to hell once before, and he'd do it again in a heartbeat if it meant you could live.
"Hello, Dean Winchester," a soft female voice said from beside him.
He jumped up quickly, ready to fight if need be. He hadn't even heard the woman arrive, which meant she likely wasn't human.
"Don't worry," she said gently. "I'm not here to hurt you. My name is Aliraphael."
"Aliraphael?" Dean repeated. "I've never heard of you."
She smiled. "You don't need to know my name to know what I am."
Dean swallowed thickly. "Why did you come?"
"You prayed for help. I answered."
"But why? We don't know you...what would make you wanna help us?"
Aliraphael smiled. "You, your brother, and (Y/N) have sacrificed much for this world and all of the people in it. I think you deserve a miracle."
Normally Dean wouldn't believe her, but there was something in her eyes that made him feel safe. He was inclined to trust her, but he had to be sure. "What do you want in return?"
"Nothing. This is my gift to you."
"Nothing is free."
"I understand why you may be jaded, but sometimes a gift is simply a gift. This is one of those times."
Dean nodded. "I'm choosing to trust you, but just know if you betray me, I will kill you."
She smiled. "I would expect nothing less of the great Dean Winchester."
Dean led Aliraphael into the hospital and his eyes scanned the waiting area for Sam. He wasn't there, so Dean assumed he'd gone to your room.
"Excuse me. Can you tell me what room (Y/N) (Y/L/N) is in?" Dean asked the receptionist.
The woman typed on her computer without looking up and muttered, "Room 212."
"Thanks," Dean replied. He tried to walk slowly--normally--to room 212, but every instinct in his body was screaming for him to get to you as quickly as possible.
When Dean entered the room, he saw Sam standing beside your bed, his hand wrapped tightly around yours. He was speaking softly to you and Dean felt that ache in his chest intensify.
"Sam," Dean said softly.
Sam turned towards the door, eyes red from his tears. He looked between Dean and Aliraphael in confusion. "Who's she?"
"I am Aliraphael," the angel responded. "I am here to heal (Y/N)."
Sam cut Dean a look. "What did you do?"
Dean shrugged. "I prayed. She came."
"Okay, but what did you promise her in exchange?"
"Your brother has promised me nothing. I am doing this because I wish to. I have no ulterior motive."
Sam still looked worried, but he stepped back to allow Aliraphael access to your bed. Aliraphael gently placed her hand against your forehead and closed her eyes. A soft white glow began to envelop your body and your skin began to return to normal.
After several moments, Aliraphael dropped her hand from your head and turned to Sam and Dean. "It is finished."
You started to stir in the bed and Dean's heart beat faster.
"She will awaken in a moment," Aliraphael assured them.
"Thank you," Dean whispered, unable to take his eyes off your face.
Sam echoed his brother's statement and Aliraphael smiled.
"You are all very welcome." With that, the angel disappeared as if she had never been there.
You groaned softly and your eyes slowly opened. You blinked rapidly trying to clear them and focus on the room around you.
"I have to go," Dean muttered.
"What?" Sam asked in surprise, but Dean had already exited the room.
"Sam?" you asked softly, hearing the younger Winchester's voice.
"Hey, (Y/N/N)," he murmured. "I'm here."
Your bright (y/e/c) eyes focused on his face. "What happened?"
"What do you remember?"
You thought about it for a moment and the memories of the past few days came flooding back. "Lucifer..." you whispered.
Sam sighed and nodded. "Yeah."
"I was dying, Sam--I felt it. Why am I not dead?"
"Dean prayed...and some angel we'd never met before came to save you."
Your eyes widened. "Dean...where is he? I need to talk to him."
"He was just here, but when you started to wake up, he bolted."
"Shit," you murmured. "We need to go after him."
You started to sit up and tug at the IV in your arm, but Sam stopped you.
"Woah! Woah! Slow down, (Y/N). You were almost dead not even five minutes ago."
"And now I'm not, so we need to get the hell out of here Sam," you insisted.
Sam sighed. He knew better than to fight you, so he simply helped you remove your IV and untangle you from the web of other tubes and wires. He handed you your clothes and turned around so you could get dressed in privacy.
"Alright, let's go," you said as soon as you were dressed.
*********
When Dean left the hospital, he'd taken the Impala and started the long drive back to Lawrence. He just wanted to get home before you and figure out what his next move was. If you and Sam were going to be together...he didn't want to be there to witness it. He couldn't.
Dean's phone had rang several times, but he hadn't answered. Most of the calls were from you and a few were from Sam, but he couldn't handle hearing your voice right now. Especially if you were going to tell him everything Lucifer had said was true.
"He's still not answering his damn phone," you muttered, throwing the phone onto the dash angrily.
"I just don't get why he'd leave like that," Sam said for the fifth time.
You sighed and ran your fingers through your hair. "Lucifer said some things to him, Sam...things that hurt him deeply. None of it was true, but Dean doesn't know that."
"What kind of things?"
"Things about me...about how I feel. And about you," you admitted quietly.
"(Y/N), just tell me."
"Lucifer told Dean I couldn't stand him and the only reason I hung around was because I'm in love with you."
Sam scoffed. "And Dean believed him?"
"You didn't see his face, Sam...he believed every word. I wanted to tell him the truth, but I couldn't overpower Lucifer."
"Shit," Sam mumbled. "He's a goddamn idiot if he thinks you love me more than him."
You laughed dryly. "Lucifer played on Dean's insecurities and unfortunately, it worked."
Sam sighed. "Where do you think he'd go?"
"I have to hope he went home."
"Then let's get there before he does." Sam sped up, flooring the stolen car like he'd--well, like he'd stolen it.
You were about five hours from Lawrence and Dean had a head start. You knew it was unlikely you'd get there first, but you had to hope you could get there before he left.
**********
When Sam pulled into the Bunker's garage four and a half hours later, you were relieved to see the Impala parked where it should be. Dean would never leave without his beloved car, which meant he was still there.
Both you and Sam practically ran into the Bunker, calling Dean's name.
The green eyed hunter heard your voices, but he ignored both you and Sam. He couldn't face you...he just couldn't.
"Dean? Where are you?" you called again.
"Come on, Dean. We know you're here," Sam said in annoyance.
You headed into the kitchen and Sam went down towards Dean's bedroom. Both of you hoped to find him before he managed to sneak his way out.
Sam entered his brother's room without knocking and sighed in relief. "Dean. There you are."
"Sam," he said curtly.
"Why the hell did you leave? And why didn't you answer our calls?"
"I just needed to get out of there."
"What, before (Y/N) woke up?" Sam's tone made it clear exactly how stupid he thought his brother's actions were.
"Look man, I'm glad she's okay, but I can't face her. I don't want to have that conversation."
Sam decided to play dumb. "What conversation, Dean? The one where she thanks you for saving her life? Or where you yell at her for saying yes to Lucifer in the first place? Cuz trust me, we had that conversation already."
"That's not what I'm talking about, Sam," Dean said quietly as he started to pack his duffle. "But it doesn't matter. I'm leaving."
"Why the hell are you leaving?"
"I can't stay here. I can't--I can't see the two of you together," he whispered.
"Together?" Sam asked incredulously. "What the hell are you talking about?"
"It's fine, Sam. I know."
"There's nothing to know!"
Dean glared at his brother and shook his head. "I saw you at the hospital...you clearly feel the same as she does."
"Yeah I do!" Sam yelled. "She's my friend--she's family!"
Dean was about to snap back another retort, but Sam cut him off.
"Just talk to (Y/N), Dean. Let her explain...you owe her that much."
"I don't want to talk to her."
"I'm not going to give you a choice," you said from the bedroom doorway.
Both men turned to look at you in surprise. You crossed your arms and stood firm.
"I don't want to talk," Dean said quietly.
"Good. I don't want you to talk, Dean. I want you to listen." You turned your gaze to Sam and gestured with your head for him to leave the room.
He gladly exited, not wanting to be a part of this particular conversation.
You closed the door behind him and continued to stand in front of it, afraid Dean would try to leave if you moved.
"Lucifer is a liar, Dean. I shouldn't even have to say that. He's the devil, for crying out loud. He's kinda known for his lies."
"But he's also been honest with us before," Dean countered.
"Only when it benefited him. Just like he lies when it benefits him. Hurting you? Hurting me? That shit brought him joy."
"Really? Did it hurt you to hear him tell me how you really feel about me?"
"No," you said angrily. "It hurt me to hear him lie to you about how I feel! The things he said were cruel and terrible, but more importantly, they weren't true!"
Dean stared at you silently, clearly not believing a word you said.
"Do you really think I'm capable of lying to you for years? Think of every moment we've spent together, Dean...do you really think I pretended to care about you? Pretended to enjoy spending time with you? Think about all the times we've laughed together, the times we've had each other's backs, the small glances, the whispers in the dark when one of us had a nightmare. Think about all of those moments and then look me in the eye and tell me it was all a lie."
Tears filled his beautiful green eyes and you knew the same expression was reflected in your own. You took a step towards him, desperately wanting to touch him, but afraid it be unwelcome.
"You're my favorite person in the world, Dean Winchester. You. Not Sam, not Bobby, not Jodi...you. You hold my whole heart in your hands...you always have. If you don't want it, then I understand, but don't for a second think I love anyone but you."
His lips parted in surprise. "But what about Sam?" he whispered.
You sighed loudly. "Weren't you listening? Sam is my friend, Dean, but nothing more than that. I love him like a brother." You took another step towards him. "He doesn't compare to you--he couldn't compare to you. I love you, Dean...and I don't mean like a brother."
Dean inhaled deeply. "I want to believe you, (Y/N/N)..."
"Then believe me," you begged him. "I love you."
Dean thought about what Lucifer had said and he realized why he'd believed it so easily. They were all things Dean was afraid of...he knew he wasn't good enough for you and he was terrified you knew it too.
"Talk to me, Dean," you whispered, taking a final step towards him.
He looked deep into your eyes and found nothing but love there. The same love he held in his soul for you. "I've always been afraid to tell you how I feel because I know I'm not good enough for you," he admitted. "That's why it was so easy for me to believe Lucifer's lies...it was almost like a self-fulfilling prophecy. I couldn't believe you'd ever want me, so it was easier to believe you wanted Sam. He's better for you in every way."
"Stop," you whispered, pressing a finger to his lips. "I decide who is best for me and I choose you. I will always choose you."
"(Y/N)," he whispered.
You pressed your lips against his, trying to infuse it with all of the love in your soul. Dean's arms wrapped around your thick waist, pulling you closer to him. He deepened the kiss, lips hungrily devouring yours.
You stayed locked in each other's embrace for what felt like an eternity. Your tongues fought for dominance and your hands caressed any part of each other they could reach.
When the kiss inevitably broke so the two of you could breathe, Dean laid his forehead against yours. "This might go without saying, but I love you too, (Y/N). So goddamn much."
You chuckled breathlessly. "After a kiss like that, I'd sure as hell hope so."
He grinned and tugged you even closer to him. His lips pressed against yours again and he found himself wanting to feel every part of your soft body. He needed it, just as much as needed air to breathe.
"Let me show you how much, baby," he whispered against your lips.
"Please," you moaned softly.
“Strip for me, pretty girl,” he commanded.
You gently pushed against his chest, forcing him back against the bed. He dropped down onto the mattress, eyes never leaving your body.
You slowly began to remove your clothing, taking much longer than you needed to. You were teasing him and he was eating it up.
You finally got down to just your bra and panties, nothing fancy as you obviously weren’t planning on this happening, but Dean didn’t seem to care. In fact, you were about to be very glad you didn’t wear anything nice.
“You are so damn beautiful, baby,” he whispered.
You offered him a warm smile, appreciative of the affection in his gaze. He thought you were a goddess among humans, a treasure to behold.
“I think you’re a bit overdressed, Dean,” you teased softly.
“You know, babe, I think you’re right.” He stood up and shed his layers significantly faster than you had. He was extremely impatient, as he was dying to get his hands on you.
You admired his broad chest, thick arms, and sculpted form. He looked incredible, scars and all. You felt the strong urge to kiss every single one of them, if he would allow you.
He now stood before you in nothing but his boxers, his large erection straining against the thin fabric.
“Let’s get this off you,” he muttered, reaching behind your back to unhook your bra.
The moment your breasts were exposed to his gaze, he let out a low groan. “Fuck, baby. These are even better than I’d imagined.”
“You imagined my—“ your question was cut off by the feeling of his lips wrapped around your nipple and his hands caressing your breasts gently.
The gentle movements quickly turned more intense, and he began to truly knead and nip at your flesh. You moaned softly and gently ran your fingers through his soft hair.
You pressed yourself even closer to him, feeling his bulge press against your abdomen. He lifted his head with a small smirk.
“Impatient, are we?”
You nodded quickly.
“Oh come on now, sweetheart. Use those words for me. Tell me what you want.”
“You,” you whimpered. “I want you.”
His smirk widened. “I figured that much out on my own, darlin'. I want you to tell me what you need.”
You weren’t exactly accustomed to expressing yourself verbally in the bedroom. To be honest, a lot of your past experiences weren’t that great anyway. A lot of one night stands with men who only cared about their own pleasure.
You found yourself feeling kind of excited at the prospect of a man listening to you and what you wanted…even more so because that man was Dean.
“I want you on your knees, handsome,” you said firmly.
Dean’s eyes widened slightly, but he dropped to his knees obediently. His normally bright green eyes were dark with lust as he locked eyes with you.
You loved the powerful feeling you had as you stood over him. The great Dean Winchester, on his knees for you.
You touched his face sweetly and he leaned into your palm, eyes fluttering closed for a moment. “Do you wanna eat my pussy, Dean?” you whispered.
His eyes shot back open, a hungry expression on his face. “Yes,” he breathed lowly.
“Then get to work,” you commanded softly.
Dean was used to being in charge in the bedroom and it wasn’t often he found himself submitting to a woman. You were different than any woman he’d ever been with before—after all, he loved you. If you told him to do a damn handstand naked, lick your feet, and call you “your majesty”, he would have done it in a heartbeat.
His calloused hands slowly slid up your thighs, squeezing the supple flesh. His mouth followed, leaving sloppy kisses as he worked his way closer to your core.
“Baby?” he asked softly, glancing up at you.
“Hmm?”
“Do you have any particular attachment to these panties?”
“No, why—Dean!” you gasped as he ripped your underwear in half, tossing the remains to the floor.
He grinned and made a happy little noise deep in his throat before kissing your mound. He grabbed your right leg and tugged it up over his shoulder, giving him better access to you.
“Lean on me for support, beautiful. I got you.”
The moment you laid a hand on his shoulder and he was sure you were stable, he dove into your pussy with a deep growl.
Your head fell back in ecstasy and a series of moans left your lips. The hand not holding onto his shoulder immediately wound itself in his hair, holding on for dear life.
“Dean—feels so good,” you moaned.
His hands dug into your ass cheeks in response, tugging you even closer to him. He never wanted to stop—hearing those sweet sounds you made mixed with the heady taste of your sweetness was more intoxicating than any drink he’d ever had.
Your legs had begun to tremble and Dean’s grip on you tightened. He wasn’t willing to stop his ministrations, but he wouldn’t let you fall either.
Your nails scraped against his scalp and his shoulder as you clung to him. The pleasure was almost too much and not enough all at once, and you felt your orgasm approaching.
“Dean,” you gasped. “I’m so close.”
He smiled against your core and shifted his focus more heavily to your clit. You cried out and cursed softly, and he knew he’d made the right move.
“I—oh god,” you cried as your orgasm washed over you.
Dean lapped up everything you had to offer, his grip on your body never loosening. As you began to come down from your high, he slipped his hands up to your hips to ensure he didn’t drop you.
He gave your pussy one last lick before allowing you to pull him up by his hair. To his surprise, you mashed your lips against his hungrily, not giving a damn that he tasted like you.
One hand tangled into your hair and the other held you tightly. “What do you want me to do now, sweetheart?” He murmured against your skin.
“Take control, Dean,” you begged. “Make my legs shake. Make me scream. I don’t wanna be able to move for hours.”
“Holy fuck,” he groaned. “Who taught you to talk like that, baby?”
You smirked. “It comes naturally with you.”
"Well it's the sexiest thing I've ever heard," he murmured.
His strong arms wrapped around your waist and gripped you tightly. He spun you both around so your back was to the bed. He pulled you up into his arms and tossed you onto the bed.
You gasped in surprise, not used to being manhandled in such a manner. You sat up slightly, resting on your elbows as you looked at the gorgeous man in front of you. You curled one finger and beckoned him towards you with a smirk.
He quickly discarded his boxers and dropped onto the bed, crawling slowly up your body. He dropped kisses onto your skin as he moved, leaving goosebumps in his wake.
When he reached your mouth, you reached up and grabbed the hair at the base of his neck, tugging him down to you. Your kiss was hungry and needy, leaving no question as to what you wanted.
As the kiss deepened, Dean shifted his body to touch your soft curves. In doing so, the tip of his cock brushed against your pussy, eliciting soft moans from both of you.
Dean's hands traced softly up and down your sides, relishing the feeling of your skin against his. "I love touching you," he murmured in your ear. "You're so damn soft."
You smiled and turned your head to nip at his jaw. He groaned and turned his attention back to your soft lips, sucking the bottom one between his teeth and biting down gently.
Much like Dean, you loved touching his body, but you reveled in the firmness of his body beneath your hands. Every time he moved, you could feel his muscles tense and shift. His body was powerful and beautiful--a vessel carrying the most incredible soul you'd ever known.
Dean shifted again, nudging your head to the side so he could suck at your neck, leaving love marks on the sensitive skin. You lifted your hips up slightly, seeking some kind of friction to relieve the ache between your legs. Once again, his cock brushed against your core and you gasped lightly. Dean, on the other hand, bit gently into your neck to suppress a loud moan.
"I can't wait any longer, baby," he groaned.
"Take me. I'm yours," you whispered.
He sighed softly, kissing you sweetly before pulling away. "Roll over for me, sweetness. Hands and knees."
Your eyes widened in surprise, but you rolled over immediately. You lowered your upper body to lay flat against the mattress, ass high in the air.
"Holy shit," Dean murmured as his hands grasped your large, round ass. "Who said you could have an ass this incredible? I can't wait to watch it jiggle while I fuck you senseless."
Before you could respond, he smacked your ass with an open palm, causing you to gasp slightly.
He seemed to realize belatedly that he should have asked if you were okay with that before doing it, but he'd be lying if he said he hadn't imagined smacking your ass for years. "Is that okay, baby?"
"More, please," you begged softly.
He smacked your ass again with a grin. "You like that?"
"Harder, Dean," you moaned. "Like you mean it."
"Fuck," he groaned, hand coming down against your cheek again.
Each time you moaned loudly, reaffirming your enjoyment of the action. Your pussy clenched around nothing and you were beyond desperate for him to just fuck you already.
"Dean, I need you--please," you cried desperately.
"Where do you need me, baby?"
"Inside me," you whimpered.
Without warning, you felt one of Dean's thick fingers enter your pussy. "Like this?"
You shook your head rapidly.
"Words, babe," he said firmly.
"I want your cock, Dean."
"Yeah? Tell me where."
You turned your head to look at him as best as you could from your current position. "I want you to fuck my pussy with your big, thick cock...please," you pleaded softly.
Dean blinked rapidly and licked his lips. He pulled his finger out from inside of you and sucked your juices from it. "Yes ma'am," he murmured.
He leaned forward and kissed your cheek where he'd left a red mark from his slaps. You turned your head back around, forehead against the mattress, preparing yourself for what would come next.
Dean gripped his cock tightly, stroking it a few times before lining himself up with your entrance. He started to enter you and you gasped at the stretch. It was painful given his larger than average size.
"I've got you, baby," he whispered, running his hands up and down your back in a soothing manner. "Just relax for me."
You took a deep breath and tried to relax your body as much as you could. When he felt the tension leave you, he continued to push forward.
You'd never felt so full before and the pain had begun to subside into pleasure. "You're so big," you mumbled.
Dean smirked and chuckled softly. "I'm not all the way in yet, sweetheart."
"What?!" you gasped in surprise.
He pushed the rest of the way in, bottoming out so deep inside you, you swore you could feel him against your cervix. "Fuck!" you yelped.
Dean continued his soothing hand motions on your hips as he allowed you the time you needed to adjust to his size.
While you appreciated his gentleness, you desperately needed him to fuck you. Instead of telling him what you wanted, you moved your hips forward slightly before slamming back against him so your ass pressed firmly against his lower abdomen.
Dean's blunt nails dug into your hips and he growled lowly. "Fuck, baby."
His hips snapped forward and he held you in place by your hips. He set a brutal pace, unable to move slowly--it felt way too damn good.
Dean was completely mesmerized by your ass, watching it jiggle as he fucked into you forcefully. He slapped the opposite cheek from the one he'd hit earlier and you cried out in pleasure, pussy clenching around him.
"You feel so fuckin' good, sweetness," he moaned. "Tightest pussy I've ever had."
You couldn't formulate a good response to his words as you were already too far gone. His cock slammed into your g-spot with each thrust, making your legs shake and your head fog up.
"Made for me, weren't you baby?"
"Mhmm," you hummed.
Dean smiled, knowing you were overwhelmed with pleasure and unable to respond properly. He leaned forward and grabbed a handful of your hair at the base of your neck. He tugged back slightly--just enough to cause a little pain without truly hurting you.
His thrusts were almost violent, they were so fast and hard. He wanted to feel you come apart on his cock and he knew you were close.
"You gonna cum for me, baby?" he whispered.
You simply whined desperately.
"What do you need, sweetheart? Tell me what you need."
"More," you begged.
"Hmm," Dean hummed. He slipped an arm around your waist and tugged you back against him so you were sitting up as he continued to thrust into you.
One hand slid up to your neck, wrapping around your throat and applying just a tiny bit of pressure to gauge your reaction. His other hand moved slowly towards your core, seeking your clit for added stimulation.
"Dean!" you cried.
He bit into your shoulder. "I'm here, baby. I want you to fall apart for me."
He rubbed at your clit quickly, thrusts slower due to the new position, but nevertheless pleasurable.
You needed just a little more to push yourself over the edge, so you gripped his hand around your neck and put more pressure on it, indicating what you needed.
Dean got the hint and tightened his grip on your throat, just enough to push you over the edge. He didn't want to hurt you--he would never hurt you.
"Cum for me, sweet girl," he murmured in your ear.
You cried out as your second orgasm crashed against you and your pussy tightened almost painfully around Dean's cock. He helped you ride out your high before lowering you back to the bed and rolling you over onto your back.
He was immediately on top of you, thrusting into you more slowly. He put one arm on either side of your head to support himself, effectively trapping you beneath him.
He rolled his hips against you, the motion pressing his pelvis against your clit, causing you to whimper in pained pleasure. Your hands found purchase in his upper back, nails digging in as he repeated the action.
"I love your body, baby," he whispered. "So fucking perfect."
You smiled up at him, pulling him down for a heated kiss. "I like it too," you mumbled. "Yours isn't bad either."
He chuckled lightly, kissing you lovingly. "I wanna see you come apart for me, (Y/N). Can you give me one more?"
Your eyes widened. "I don't think I can..."
"I bet you can, sweetness." He grabbed your hips and pulled your legs up so your legs were wrapped around his waist. He began to thrust in earnest again and your head fell back, a moan escaping your lips.
Dean closed his eyes, focusing on pulling at least one more orgasm from you and keeping his own at bay. The way you were squeezing him made it a hell of a lot harder than he would like.
The harder his thrusts, the tighter you seemed to grip him, and the deeper your nails dug into his back. He knew he was going to have some serious gashes on his back, but he intended to wear them with pride.
"Come apart for me, baby. Let me feel you soak my cock," he begged.
"Dean," you groaned.
"Come on, my love--let go."
Your eyes fluttered closed and your body began to shake as waves of pleasure threatened to overwhelm you. You came for the third time that night, cries of pleasure mixing with Dean's moans of encouragement.
You started to come down from your high, body overly sensitive from the onslaught of pleasure that continued. "Dean, too much!" you gasped.
"Just one more," he begged.
"I can't!" you whimpered.
"Please baby--one more. Need it," he continued to beg.
You didn't think it was possible for you to cum again, but you began to feel a new sensation in your abdomen. It felt similar to the familiar tightening coil that signified an oncoming orgasm, but it was infinitely more intense. You weren't even sure if it was pleasure or pain--the feeling was simply too overwhelming to comprehend.
"Dean--I can't--" you gasped in confusion.
His hand slid between your bodies to gently massage your clit and you suddenly couldn't breathe. You began to writhe beneath him, hands gripping at the sheets to try and ground yourself.
Dean knew you were about to come undone again, so he didn't slow any of his motions. "Look at me, baby."
Your eyes met his for no more than a moment before your vision became blurry. You screamed his name as you came for a fourth and final time. The feeling was so incredible, you couldn't even begin to describe it.
Your vision began to return to normal as you desperately tried to catch your breath. You were practically limp beneath him as Dean began to chase his own orgasm.
He tucked his head into the crook of your neck and murmured soft words of praise against your skin. "Feels so good--squeezing me perfectly."
He kissed your neck as his thrusts became more erratic. "I'm gonna fill up this pretty little pussy, sweetness. Gonna cum for you."
You managed to press a kiss into his shoulder and wrap your arms around him, hands clutching his back. "Fill me up, Dean," you whispered encouragingly.
Dean groaned lowly. "This pussy is mine, baby. You hear me? Mine."
"Yours, Dean. Only yours."
"Oh--fuck--" he groaned. "(Y/N)!"
His hips began to stutter, thrusts faltering as he filled you up with his seed. He whispered your name like a prayer as his movements began to slow to a halt. You clung to him tightly as he came down from his high.
He finally collapsed on top of you, completely spent and breathless.
You rubbed his back soothingly, lips pressing gentle kisses to his shoulder and neck. As the two of you laid there quietly, you began to notice the bedding beneath you was particularly wet--more so than you had expected it to be.
"I love you so much," Dean whispered, lips pressed softly against your jaw.
"I love you too, baby," you said sweetly.
Dean began to lift himself up, each movement making you gasp--body too overstimulated to handle any motion.
"Sorry, sweetheart," he murmured softly.
"I'm not complaining," you assured him.
He grinned slightly as he pulled himself up completely, softened member sliding out of your excessively wet pussy.
He looked down at the bed and his grin widened. "We made quite the mess, baby."
"Yeah, it feels a little...wetter than normal."
He chuckled softly. "That's probably because you squirted, (Y/N/N)."
You gasped, cheeks reddening in embarrassment. You realized that must have been the result of the most intense orgasm of your life. "I did?!"
Dean noticed your discomfort and immediately reassured you. "Yeah, sweetness--and it was the sexiest fucking thing I've ever seen."
You bit your lip and looked up at him. "Really?"
He grinned. "Really."
"I've--uh--well...I've never squirted before," you admitted.
His chest puffed up with pride. "I'm honored to have been the first--and the last." He added a wink for emphasis.
You smiled softly. "Maybe don't make it a regular thing...I literally can't move."
Dean laughed. "Don't worry, babe. I'll take care of you."
You watched the handsome man cross the room and go into the bathroom, emerging several minutes later with two washcloths. He gently picked you up, moving you to the other side of the bed where it was dry. From there, he very gently began to clean you up with the warm washcloths.
You were moved by the loving way he took care of you, making sure you were clean and comfortable before leaving the room in search of another set of sheets.
When he returned, you found you still couldn't move, but Dean didn't seem to mind. "I can change the sheets with you in them, (Y/N)."
"But--"
"Hush," he insisted as he pressed a kiss to your lips.
He made quick work of removing the sheets on the other half of the bed and putting the clean sheets on that side. He then scooped you up again and moved you to the clean, crisp sheets. He removed the rest of the soiled sheets and finished making the bed.
As soon as he was finished, he crawled into the bed beside you. He reached out to grab your soft body and tugged you against his warm chest.
You nuzzled into him and sighed softly. "I could get used to this."
He smiled and kissed the top of your head. "I'll always take care of you, baby...so you might as well get used to it. I'm not going anywhere."
You smiled and pressed a soft kiss onto his chest. "I love you, Dean."
Dean tightened his grip on you and smiled. "I love you more, (Y/N/N). Always."
795 notes · View notes
fatecantstopme · 2 months
Text
Take Your Time
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Pairing: Dean Winchester x wife!reader
Summary: What happens after you lose the love of your life?
Warnings: character death, a lot of talk about death, grieving, childbirth, single parenting, cursing, use of pet names, mentions of smut/implied smut.
A/N: This is insanely long and some parts are painfully sad, but it's a beautiful story of love and family that persists even beyond the grave. There's a lot of POV switching between Dean and reader. I hope you love it as much as I do.
“The two of you are like rabbits,” Sam groaned. “I swear you could hear it outside the bunker.”
Dean laughed heartily. “It’s not my fault she’s so damn hot.”
You blushed and buried your face in your hands. “Sorry, Sammy. We’ll try to keep it down.”
“I’ve lost the ability to pretend I didn’t hear you two.”
You laughed. “What can I say? He’s good at what he does.”
“Ughhhh,” Sam groaned as he left the kitchen.
You leaned into Dean with a smile. “Maybe we should try to keep it down, for Sam’s sake.”
Dean seemed to contemplate it for a moment before shaking his head. “Nah, babe. After everything we’ve been through, we deserve some enjoyment—celebration, even. We beat Chuck, Jack’s in charge, there seems to be less monsters running around…and somehow we’re still alive to see it.”
“I suppose you’ve got a point.”
“Plus,” Dean leaned forward to whisper conspiratorially, “my wife is the sexiest woman on earth. How can I possibly resist the temptation?”
You laughed warmly and playfully smacked his arm. “You’re incorrigible.”
He grinned. “But you love me.”
You smiled as you leaned up to kiss him. “Very much.”
**********
“It’s kinda nice to be on a regular old monster hunt,” Dean said with a smile.
“Is it weird that I’ve missed this?” you asked.
“Definitely not. I’ve missed it too,” Sam responded.
“Vampires,” Dean mumbled. “I do love killing vampires.”
You chuckled lightly and rolled your eyes.
The three of you grabbed your machetes and headed towards the barn. You knew this was where the vamps were bedding down, but you weren’t sure how many of them were there.
Dean shot you a grin before busting in the barn door, shocking several vampires into action. Dean let out a weird holler of excitement and dove into the fray. You and Sam exchanged glances before jumping in.
Everything was going well. It was a pretty easy hunt, to be honest. You’d just beheaded the last one when you heard Sam yell your name from behind you.
You could hear the terror in his voice and when you spun around, you came face to face with your greatest fear.
“Dean!” You screamed as you ran across the barn. You grabbed his face when you reached him, tears already streaming down both of your faces. “No…” you whispered.
He coughed and wheezed softly. You could see the piece of metal sticking out of his chest and you knew he was dying. You’d always known the life was dangerous—that any of you could die young, but things were finally good. You thought you’d actually get to grow old together.
Sam stood beside you, just as devastated as you were. “Dean, please…”
“It’s okay Sammy. It was bound to happen sooner or later.”
You inhaled sharply, tears blurring your vision. “Please don’t go,” you begged. “Don’t leave me.”
“I’m sorry, baby. I’m so damn sorry,” he whispered. “But you’re gonna be okay—you’re gonna be fine.”
You shook your head rapidly.
“Yes you are, sweetheart. You’re the strongest person I know. You’re gonna mourn, but you’re gonna keep going. You’re not the kind of woman to ever give up, so don’t start now.”
You stared at him, letting his words wash over you, knowing they would be some of his last.
“Take care of each other,” Dean said to both of you.
“We will,” Sam responded, emotion clouding his voice.
“I love you, (Y/N).”
You whimpered softly before standing on your toes to kiss him gently. “I love you too, Dean. Always.”
He smiled, but you could see the light fading from his eyes. “One more thing, baby.”
“Yes?”
“‘Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it a while.’”
You let out a breathy chuckle. He would never admit it, but The Princess Bride was one of his favorite movies. He’d always loved that line in particular and he’d said it to you on your wedding day instead of “till death do us part”.
“Wait for me,” you whispered, caressing his cheek affectionately.
He reached out a hand and brushed the tears from your cheek. “Take your time,” he said so softly you almost didn’t hear.
You leaned into his hand and closed your eyes. You didn’t want to see the moment he died—you couldn’t bear it. When his hand slipped from your face and you heard Sam let out a pained sob, you knew he was gone.
You finally looked up, and the tears began to fall in earnest. You’d never felt a pain like this before—not even when he’d died in the past. This time was different. This time was final. Dean was dead—and a large piece of your heart went with him.
**********
Dean’s POV:
I opened my eyes and looked around, trying to get my bearings. I was surprised by how bright it was--I was pretty certain it had been night only moments ago.
"Hey Dean," a familiar voice said from behind me.
I spun around with a smile on my face and immediately embraced the man in front of me. "Bobby!"
Bobby returned my hug. "It's good to see you, kid."
Seeing Bobby made me realize where I was and the smiled slipped from my face.
He patted me gently on the shoulder. "Yeah, it's tough at first."
"(Y/N/N) and Sammy..." I whispered. "I left them."
Bobby nodded sadly. "I know, kid, I know. It's gonna hurt for a while, but they're both tough people. They'll be okay."
Tears blurred my vision at the thought of my wife and little brother mourning my death. I hated the idea of leaving them all alone, especially (Y/N). I knew Sammy would be okay--he always was. But (Y/N)? I'd made her a promise--I promised her forever. Then I went and got myself killed...leaving her to put the pieces of her life back together--a life we were supposed to share.
"I'm worried about (Y/N/N)," I whispered. "I can't stand the idea of her being alone. And the not knowing how she is? That might kill me--figuratively, I guess."
"I know the feeling, but I do have some good news for you. Things are obviously different up here, thanks entirely to Jack."
Bobby gestured to a building off in the distance and I realized it was the Roadhouse.
"A lot of us hang out here together--Ellen, Jo, Ash, Charlie, Pamela," Bobby said. "Also, we now have a new option--the ability to check in on the people we left behind. It's how I knew you'd be coming here."
"Wait--I can check in on (Y/N)? And Sam? Like I can see them?"
Bobby nodded. "Yeah, anytime you want. The only thing is, time moves differently up here, so you'll probably only catch glimpses of their lives over time."
"I'll take anything at this point. How do I do it?"
"You just picture the person clearly in your mind and you'll be able to see and hear what's happening in their lives at that moment. Plus, if they call out to you--like a prayer--you'll hear them."
"So all I have to do is picture (Y/N/N) and I'll see her?"
Bobby nodded. "Just remember, you're not gonna see the moment you left...it's probably been a couple weeks at this point."
I nodded. "I wanna see her."
Bobby patted my shoulder again. "Take your time. I'll be in the Roadhouse. Come on in when you're done--I'm sure there's a few people who wanna see you."
"Thanks, Bobby."
I watched him walk away for a few moments before taking a deep breath and closing my eyes. I pictured my wife's beautiful face in my mind with everything I had. Within moments, I was transported to a room I knew very well--our bedroom in the bunker.
(Y/N) was laying on our bed, wearing her favorite flannel of mine, and clutching a pillow close to her chest. I could tell she'd been crying for some time and it broke my heart.
There was a knock at the door and Sam's voice called out to her, asking if she was okay.
"I'm alright, Sammy," she answered softly.
"Do you want dinner?"
She sniffled softly. "I'm not really hungry, but thank you."
I heard Sam sigh quietly. "Okay, let me know if you change your mind."
I turned my attention back to (Y/N) just as she rolled onto her back and looked up at the ceiling.
"I don't know how I'm supposed to do this without you," she whispered. "I thought we'd have more time."
I could feel the tears stinging my own eyes as I watched her cry softly.
"You promised me, Dean. You promised me forever," she whimpered. "I shouldn't be angry with you--it's not like you left me on purpose. But I can't help it, Dean. I'm so angry, and bitter, and heartbroken, and so...alone."
Her voice was barely above a whisper as she finished talking, her words cutting into me like a knife.
"I'm so sorry, baby," I whispered, wishing like hell she could hear me. I just wanted to hold her in my arms and tell her everything was going to be okay. I needed everything to be okay--I needed her to be okay.
She sighed quietly, bringing my attention back to her. "I just love you so much, Dean, and I--I miss you." She inhaled deeply before continuing. "I don't know if you can hear me, but I want you to know I'll be okay. It'll take some time, and I'll never stop missing you, but I will be okay."
I didn't realize how badly I'd needed to hear her say those words. My heart still ached, but her words helped heal it just a little. "I love you so much, beautiful--always."
She smiled up at the ceiling as if she'd heard me, but I knew that was impossible. She pressed her hand to her lips and blew a kiss towards the ceiling.
I smiled as I blew one back. She'd always blown me kisses when I was alive and I was glad she was continuing the habit.
I watched her curl back up on her side and sigh softly as she pulled the pillow close to her. I stayed just long enough for her to fall asleep before closing my eyes and returning to heaven.
**********
"SAM!" you screamed loudly. "SAMMY!"
You heard his loud footsteps echoing down the bunker hallway as he raced towards you. He appeared in your doorway slightly out of breath and more than a little terrified.
"Are you okay? What happened?" he asked breathlessly.
Your hands were shaking as you held up the item in your hand.
Sam looked at it in confusion. As you watched, you saw the realization dawn on him and he gasped.
"Wait, (Y/N)--are you--are you pregnant?"
You nodded as tears ran down your cheeks. "This is the third one I've taken...they all came up positive."
"Oh my god," Sam mumbled. "You're gonna have a baby."
You stared at him in mild terror. "I'm gonna have a baby," you confirmed.
Sam stared at you, clearly unsure what he should do. After a few moments, he grabbed you and held you tightly. You leaned into his hug, more grateful than ever to have him in your life.
"We should take you to see a doctor. I'm sure Eileen would come too."
You nodded against his chest, the tears on your cheeks wiping off on his shirt.
"We're gonna help you, (Y/N). You won't be going through this alone. I promise."
You stepped back and offered him a small smile. "Thank you, Sammy."
**********
Dean's POV:
It had been a couple days since I'd last checked on (Y/N), so I decided to take a little time to myself to pay her a visit.
I closed my eyes, envisioning (Y/N/N)'s face clearly in my mind. When I opened my eyes again, I saw (Y/N) sitting in the bunker library, reading a book.
Her back was to me, so I moved closer to see over her shoulder, trying to see what she was reading. I expected it to be one of the novels she was always reading, but this appeared to be one of those self-help books. She wasn't the type of person to read self-help books, so I was pretty surprised.
Before I could move around to see her from the front, Sam came into the room carrying an absurd amount of food. I looked at the food on one of the plates and even I had to admit it looked gross. Some sort of burger, but with what appeared to be greek yogurt on it...and mustard?
Sam sat the plate down in front of (Y/N) and she clapped her hands in delight. "Looks delicious!"
Sam looked at her with a slightly grossed-out look on his face and chuckled lightly. "I felt disgusting making it and I don't think I can watch you eat it," he teased.
She laughed and took a big bite of the sandwich, a groan of pleasure slipping from her lips. "Oh my god, that's so good."
Sam laughed heartily. "These pregnancy cravings are nasty."
She giggled, but I missed her response because I was too focused on what Sam had just said...pregnancy cravings? I looked at the book (Y/N) had sat on the table beside her and saw the title "Parenting 101".
I finally got a good look at my wife and noticed her round belly and I nearly passed out--if I could even pass out. I thought I was about to hyperventilate and my shock must have pushed me out of my trance--sending me straight back to heaven.
I nearly ran--okay, I did run--all the way to the Roadhouse, bursting in the door, out of breath and panicky.
"Hey easy there, kiddo," Ellen said as she stepped forward to check on me.
"(Y/N)'s pregnant," I practically yelled, shocking every person in the room.
Bobby looked up at me from the beer he was drinking with a look of shock on his face. Ellen had been patting my back, but now she was frozen in place.
"Is it--I mean, could it be yours?" Ellen asked gently.
"I--I don't know," I mumbled. "I have no idea how long I've been dead."
"Ash!" Ellen yelled.
The man in question appeared almost instantly. "Yo!"
"How long has Dean been dead?"
"Uhhh...hold on." Ash started typing away on his laptop. Two minutes later he answered, "A little over six months."
Bobby had gotten up from his seat and came over to help Ellen escort me to a chair. "Have a seat, son. Just breathe."
"Looks like you're gonna be a father," Ellen said gently.
"I'm--how--I--" words were not coming to me easily. I didn't know how to feel or what to think--all I knew was my wife was pregnant and I wasn't there to support her.
The more I thought about it, the sadder I became. I wouldn't be there for the birth, wouldn't get to hold (Y/N)'s hand through it all...I would never meet my child. My wife was all alone, doomed to the life of a single parent all because I was careless enough to die too soon.
"At least she has Sam," I whispered lowly.
Ellen was rubbing comforting circles on my back and Bobby squeezed my shoulder.
"I need to talk to her," I said suddenly. "How can I talk to her?"
Bobby shook his head. "You can't, Dean. I'm sorry, but that's just not possible."
Tears stung my eyes and I stood up abruptly. "I think I just need to be alone," I mumbled.
I could feel several pairs of eyes on my back as I left the Roadhouse and began to mindlessly wander, unsure of where I was going, but certain there was a destination.
**********
"You can do it, (Y/N). Just breathe," Sam said calmly.
"You tell me to breathe one more time, Winchester, and I'll kill you," you hissed.
Eileen looked up at Sam with a small smirk. "I think she's serious," she said.
Sam quickly signed 'I'm just trying to help.'
Eileen chuckled. 'Why don't you go get something to eat. I think that would be helpful.'
You let out a groan of pain and Sam's eyes widened. "Okay...I'll go do that."
Eileen shook her head and moved forward to grab your hand. "Men," she mumbled.
You laughed lightly before another contraction hit you. "Fuck," you groaned.
The nurse gently patted your leg. "You're doing great, sweetheart. Just keep breathing."
You squeezed the hell out of Eileen's hand, which got her attention. "Labor is hell--don't have kids."
She laughed. "I'm sure Sam will want one or two, especially after meeting his niece."
"Adopt," you ground out as another contraction hit you.
She gently brushed the hair out of your eyes, wiping the sweat off your forehead in the same motion.
You were beyond grateful for the two of them, even if you couldn't express it in that moment.
"Dean, you son of a bitch," you growled. "This is all your fault!"
You didn't mean it of course, it was more a heat of the moment thing. You missed him terribly and the pain of his absence had never been greater.
**********
Dean's POV:
In the middle of my walk, I heard someone scream my name. I paused, listening for any other sound.
"This is all your fault!"
I knew immediately it was (Y/N)'s voice and I went to her without a second thought.
I was shocked to find myself standing in a hospital room, my beautiful wife lying on the bed, clearly in pain. I stepped farther into the room when I heard (Y/N/N) whimper softly. Eileen was on the other side of the bed, squeezing her hand and gently brushing her hair back to calm her.
I was desperate to grab her hand, to tell her everything would be okay. She wasn't wrong--I was the one who got her pregnant, but I couldn't be there to help her through the birth of our child. It broke my heart to see her in such pain, especially knowing there was nothing I could do about it.
"Okay, sweetheart, it's time to push again," the nurse said softly.
(Y/N) let out a low grunt of pain as she leaned forward to push with all her strength. Eileen continued holding her hand and I watched her face tighten in discomfort as (Y/N) squeezed it.
Even though I knew she couldn't hear me, I started talking to her. "I'm right here, baby," I said softly. "You're doing so well, sweetheart."
Sam suddenly came into the room, looking concerned, but also a little terrified. "How you doin' (Y/N/N)?"
She shot daggers at my little brother and I couldn't help but chuckle.
"Obviously not great, Samuel," she growled.
Eileen chuckled and gestured to Sam to go back out in the hallway. "We'll call you in when the baby comes."
Given the fact that Sam's face was a little green, I had to agree it was best for him to be out in the hall.
My attention was drawn back to (Y/N) when she let out a soft cry of pain.
"You're doing so great, (Y/N)," the nurse said. "Keep pushing, honey."
She continued pushing and even though she was clearly in a lot of pain and discomfort, I couldn't help but think she was so beautiful and powerful in that moment. I'd never seen a stronger woman in all my life.
"She's crowning!" the doctor called. "Give me a really good push."
(Y/N) groaned in pain as she pushed, cutting the circulation off in Eileen's hand with the strength of her squeeze.
"That's it, one more!"
(Y/N) let out one more agonized groan before collapsing back against the mattress. As soon as she did, I heard the loud crying of a newborn baby--our newborn baby.
"You did so well, honey," the nurse said. "So, so, well. I'll clean her up and let you hold her, okay?"
(Y/N) nodded with a weak smile, eyes meeting Eileen's moist ones. 'You did amazing,' she signed.
"Thank you," (Y/N) whispered.
The nurse brought a little bundle over and handed it to my wife. "Here's your mama."
(Y/N)'s arms wrapped around the sweet bundle, holding her close to her chest. "Hi, little one," she murmured sweetly. "Welcome to the world."
I leaned over to get a good view of my daughter. "Good job, mama," I whispered.
"You're so beautiful," she whispered.
I couldn't help but agree, she was perfect.
"What are we gonna name this sweet girl?" the nurse asked.
(Y/N) looked up with tearful eyes. "Charlie," she answered. "Her name is Charlie."
Tears filled my eyes, emotion overwhelming me. (Y/N) had loved Charlie has much as I did, so I shouldn't have been surprised that she'd want to honor her memory like this.
"That's a lovely name. Do you want to give little Charlie a middle name?"
At that moment, Sam came back in the room, a teary smile warming his features. He entered the room fully and came to the side of the bed to get a better view of his niece.
(Y/N) looked up at him and smiled. "MaryEllen," she answered. "Charlie MaryEllen Winchester."
Sam choked back tears as he leaned forward to place a kiss to (Y/N)'s forehead and then to Charlie's. "I think that's a perfect name."
She smiled. "Me too."
The nurse smiled as she wrote down the name on the form in her hands. "Okay, sweetie, did you want to put a name down for the father?"
(Y/N)'s face dropped slowly and it made my heart ache. "Yes. His name was Dean--Dean Winchester."
The nurse nodded and jotted it down on her form. "I'll go file this and be back in a few minutes."
Tears were streaming down (Y/N)'s cheeks as she stared at our little girl. "I wish Dean was here," she mumbled.
Sam and Eileen exchanged sad looks. "I know, (Y/N/N)," Sam said gently. "So do I."
"I'm right here, baby," I whispered. "I'm always right here."
"She's perfect, isn't she?" (Y/N) said softly, changing the subject.
"She really is," Eileen confirmed.
I wanted to stay, but I couldn't bear to see my daughter and not hold her. It was making my chest ache in an unimaginable way.
I was about to make my exit when (Y/N) cast a glance to the ceiling and whispered, "I love you, Dean." She blew me a kiss and I couldn't help but smile.
"I love you both, baby. So damn much," I murmured before closing my eyes and returning to heaven.
**********
"Do babies ever sleep?" you grumbled as you stumbled into the kitchen after a very long and sleepless night.
Sam looked up from his coffee with a small smile. "She will eventually," he answered. When you shot him a glare, he slid his coffee towards you. "You need this more than I do."
Your expression softened. "Thanks." You took a sip, sighing gratefully as you sat at the table.
"Eileen with Charlie?"
You nodded. "She's so good with her."
Sam smiled. "I know."
You took a deep breath before saying something you'd been thinking for a while. "I think it's time for me to move out."
"What?" Sam asked in shock.
"The bunker's no place to raise a baby, Sam. I think it's time I find somewhere else to live."
He looked sad, but he nodded his head in understanding. "As much as I hate for you to leave, I understand why you need to."
You smiled tearfully. "Everywhere I look, I see Dean. His memory is infused in these walls and I love it, but it hurts--it hurts in a way I can't explain. Charlie and I need a fresh start--a real home."
Sam got up and gave you a warm hug. "Just don't go too far, okay? We need you both in our lives."
"I actually talked to Donna last week...she asked me to move in with her."
"That would be great! I'd feel better if you weren't alone, so I love the idea of you staying with Donna."
"It would just be for a little while, until I figure out what we should do for our future."
"You know I'll support you, (Y/N), in whatever you choose to do."
"I know, Sammy. You're the best uncle Charlie could ever have."
**********
Dean's POV:
When I arrived back in heaven, I found myself in a place I didn't recognize. I guess I'd kept walking mindlessly while I was checking in on (Y/N)...if that's even possible.
"Hello Dean," a familiar voice said behind me.
I turned around in surprise. "Jack?"
Jack smiled at me. "It's good to see you, Dean."
I returned the smile. "It's good to see you too."
"I heard you wanted to talk to me."
"I...I did?"
"Rather, you wanted to talk to (Y/N), which is something you would need to discuss with me."
"Bobby said it's not possible."
"He's correct. That's not something that has ever been done, but I suppose this is a special circumstance."
"It is?"
"You've saved the world selflessly so many times it's truly hard to keep track. Both (Y/N) and your brother have done so as well. As such, I believe you are owed something in return."
"I thought my reward was getting into heaven."
Jack smiled. "Perhaps initially, but this would be a reward specifically from me."
"Are you saying I could talk to (Y/N)? I mean, really talk to her?"
Jack nodded. "It would be a one-time thing, but it would allow you to properly say goodbye to her--and to Sam. Plus, I think you deserve the opportunity to meet your daughter."
"How long would I have?"
"I can give you an hour."
I nodded eagerly. "Please."
Jack smiled and reached out his hand, putting two fingers to my forehead.
When I opened my eyes again, I found myself in a very familiar place. I looked around the bedroom (Y/N) and I had shared in the years since we'd discovered the bunker and I couldn't help but smile.
(Y/N) was curled up on the bed, reading a book, and she hadn't noticed me yet. I cleared my throat, getting her attention, and nearly ended up with a knife embedded in my chest as she threw it across the room with shocking accuracy.
"Woah! Baby, take it easy! It's me!"
She grabbed another knife from the bedside table and held it out in front of her. "Who the hell are you?" she growled.
"It's me, sweetheart."
"That's impossible. We burned your body."
"I know you did--listen, baby, I don't have much time. Jack sent me."
She paused, knife lowering slightly. "Jack sent you?"
I nodded. "Run whatever tests you need, babe, but it's me. It's really me."
She took a step towards me, then moved with surprising speed, tossing holy water at my face and pressing the silver knife against my skin.
"Dean?" she whimpered softly, dropping the knife to the floor.
"It's me, beautiful."
She said my name again before slamming her lips against mine in a hungry kiss. I kissed her back and my arms wrapped around her to pull her closer. I couldn't even express how much I'd missed this feeling.
When she broke the kiss, I saw tears in her eyes and I knew the look on her face was reflected on mine.
"I missed you so much," she whispered.
"I missed you too."
"How is this possible?"
"Jack sent me down here to say a proper goodbye--he said I deserved it."
She smiled and caressed my face. "How long do we have?"
"He gave me an hour."
She nodded. "Then we have no time to waste."
She pulled me even closer to her, kissing me with more passion than before. I knew what she wanted by the way she held me, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't want it just as much.
I pulled her down onto the bed with me, ridding both of us of our clothes as quickly as possible. I held her close to me as we made love, not wanting to forget a single moment.
She whispered my name against my skin as she came around me, repeating the sound as she came down from her high. She held me tightly as I found my release, my teeth nipping at her pulse point to stay quiet.
We laid there quietly in each other's arms for a few minutes, but we both knew we didn't have a lot of time. I sighed softly as I dragged myself out of the bed to grab a washcloth to clean her up before we tugged our clothes back on.
Suddenly, (Y/N) seemed to realize something and yelled, "Oh my god! Oh my god, you don't know."
"Know what, sweetheart?"
"I--you--we...do you wanna meet your daughter?" she whispered.
I smiled warmly. "Little Charlie? I'd love to meet her."
Surprise lit up her pretty face. "You--you know?"
"Another gift from Jack--everyone in heaven is able to check in on the people they love down here. So I've been keeping an eye on you and Sam."
Tears filled her eyes again, and she couldn't formulate a verbal response. Instead she wrapped me in another hug and placed a soft kiss to my lips.
"I hear you when you talk to me too, ya know."
"You do?"
"I do. Anytime you call out to me, I can hear it."
She smiled warmly. "You have no idea how happy that makes me, Dean."
"I can tell you it makes me incredibly happy."
She took a deep breath and shook her head, as if to shake off the intense emotions she was feeling. She turned away from me, walking over to the crib behind her. She reached in and scooped up our daughter before walking over to me.
"Do you wanna hold her, baby?"
I nodded, emotion clouding my vision. "I'd love to."
She slipped Charlie into my arms and I fell in love instantly. I didn't know I could feel this way about someone. I held my baby girl close to my chest and stared at her beautiful, peaceful sleeping face.
"She's so perfect, (Y/N/N)."
"She really is," she whispered as she leaned against my shoulder. "I'm so happy to get to have this moment with you."
I looked over at her with a soft smile. "Me too, sweetheart."
Charlie opened her eyes at the sound of our voices and made a cute little cooing sound that warmed my heart instantly. She reached one of her little hands up towards my face and I moved my hand towards her. She wrapped her fingers around one of mine and cooed again.
"Hi, princess," I whispered. "Aren't you just the most beautiful girl?"
(Y/N/N) chuckled softly and kissed my shoulder.
"You're gonna look just like your mama. I can tell. Hopefully you get her brain too."
"And your daddy's bravery and loyalty."
I smiled at her and she returned my expression. "Oh and her name? Perfect."
"You like it?"
"Yeah, baby. I love it."
"I wanted to honor your best friend and the two women who helped make you the incredible man you are."
I leaned down to her and kissed her again. "I love you, (Y/N)."
"I love you too, Dean."
We spent several more minutes in silence together, just looking at our beautiful baby--the baby we created together.
"We should go wake Sam," (Y/N) said softly.
"He'd kill me if I didn't see him too."
"He might kill me too," she teased.
She went to the door and gestured for me to follow. I followed her down the hall to Sam's room and waited as she knocked.
"(Y/N/N)? You okay?" Sam asked as he opened the door.
"I have a surprise." She stepped to the side to allow me to come into the doorway.
Sam's jaw dropped in shock. (Y/N) reached out and pulled Charlie from my arms and addressed Sam. "It's really him, Sammy."
"Dean?"
I nodded and my little brother practically tackled me in a hug.
(Y/N) smiled at the scene in front of her. She'd never expected to get another chance to say goodbye to me and she knew Sam needed this as much as she did.
"How are you here?" Sam asked as he finally let me go.
"A little favor from Jack--just for an hour. I'm here to say goodbye properly and to meet my baby girl."
Sam seemed to remember (Y/N) and Charlie's presence and he turned his attention to them. "I don't know what to say."
"I don't think any of us do," she said gently.
"That's not entirely accurate," I said softly. "I'd been thinking about what I would say if I could talk to you both."
I turned my attention to Sam first. "Sammy, I just want you to be happy. I want you to live a good, full life--the kind of life you always dreamed of. You deserve to be happy and I really couldn't ask for anything more than that."
As I finished addressing Sam, I heard Jack's voice from behind me. "Dean? It's time."
I turned to him and pleaded softly, "Just a couple more minutes to say goodbye to (Y/N)...please."
Jack nodded and took a step back to allow me to finish.
"Dean?" (Y/N) whispered.
"Your turn," I said gently as I reached for Charlie, pulling her into my arms with a smile. "Now you better be a good girl, you hear me? You treat your mama with honor and respect. You have no idea how lucky you are to have her as your mother, but I hope someday you realize it...and I hope you know just how much I love you. I'll always watch over you, little one. I promise." I placed a gentle kiss to her little forehead and she stirred happily. "Sammy, can you hold your niece for me?"
Sam nodded and took Charlie from my arms, too emotional to say anything else. He just clapped me on the shoulder and nodded--it was all I needed to understand what he couldn't say.
"Your turn, baby," I whispered as I took a step towards my wife.
"I'm not ready," she whimpered.
"Me neither, sweetheart, but here it goes." I wrapped my arms around her waist and held her close to me. She looked up at me with teary eyes and I took a deep breath before continuing. "You are the light of my life and I am so honored to have been loved by you all these years. I would do anything to be able to stay with you, but we both know that's not in the cards for us. That doesn't mean I won't be with you...I'll always be with you, sweetheart, even if it's only in your memories and your heart."
She sniffled and tried to smile a little. I tucked a piece of hair behind her ear before continuing.
"I want you to keep living, (Y/N). I need you to keep going--to fight for the life you and our daughter deserve. I'm so proud of everything you and I have accomplished together and I can't wait to see what amazing things you do with the rest of your life. I love you, baby, and I'll never stop."
She closed her eyes and nodded, tears slipping past her lids. She opened them back up and stood on her tiptoes to press her lips to mine. "I'll love you forever, Dean Winchester," she whispered against my lips.
I kissed her deeply, pouring everything I had into the kiss. I needed her to know exactly how much I loved her and how badly I would miss her.
After what felt like both eternity and not nearly long enough, we separated. "I've gotta go, beautiful," I whispered.
"I know," she whispered back.
I kissed her lips again, then her forehead, before pulling away from her. I smiled at my brother, who returned the expression in kind. I touched my daughter's cheek and turned away before I lost the nerve to walk to Jack's side.
"Jack?" (Y/N) called.
Jack's attention went to her and he smiled gently.
"Thank you."
"You're welcome, (Y/N)."
"Keep him out of trouble," she said lightly with a small smile.
Jack chuckled softly. "I don't think even I can do that."
I turned back to look at my family one last time and I couldn't help but go back to give (Y/N) one last kiss. "Goodbye my love," I murmured.
"I'll see you later, Dean," she said gently. "This isn't forever."
I held her close and kissed the top of her head. "Take your time, baby. Take your time."
I pulled away from her and walked away, refusing to look back--knowing if I did, it would break my heart. I looked at Jack and said softly, "I'm ready."
He nodded and touched my forehead just as he had before. When I opened my eyes again, I couldn't help but smile as I stood outside of the Roadhouse. I knew I would never be whole as long as (Y/N) and I were apart, but I felt so much better knowing she was safe, happy, and loved...that she would never give up, that she would keep living.
**********
Almost three years had passed since you'd said goodbye to Dean. It had been an eventful time--and a deeply emotional three years. You couldn't begin to express how much you missed him, but it comforted you to know he was okay and could check in on you whenever he liked.
You'd moved into Donna's house and you would be forever grateful for her compassion, kindness, and friendship--and for her help with Charlie. Raising a child on your own wasn't easy, but you were blessed with a chosen family who would never let you down.
On this particular night, you were curled up in bed, staring at the ceiling as you so often did. You spoke to Dean, telling him how much you missed him and updating him on Charlie's life.
"I can't believe she's already three," you murmured. "She has your eyes, you know--the most beautiful shade of green I've ever seen."
You sighed. "There are moments...moments when she looks up at me and I swear I'm looking into your eyes. I just have this feeling she's going to be so much like you, even if she looks more like me."
You chuckled before continuing. "I hope she's strong and brave like you, and also kind and loyal like you. I hope she loves as passionately as you did and I hope she never has to wonder her worth--or how much we love her."
You'd just finished speaking when you heard a soft whimper at your door a second before it opened. Charlie stepped through it, eyes teary.
"Hey baby, what's wrong?"
"I had a bad dream," she whispered.
You pulled the blankets back and invited her into your bed. The little girl curled up against you with her head on your shoulder. You rubbed her back soothingly and asked her what she'd dreamed about.
"A monster," she whispered fearfully.
**********
Dean's POV:
I'd been listening to (Y/N) talk to me when Charlie suddenly appeared in the room, telling her mother she'd had a nightmare. I watched as (Y/N) invited her to come sleep in her bed and ask her what she'd dreamed about.
"A monster," she'd whispered.
"A monster?" (Y/N) asked. "What kind of monster, baby?"
"He was big and hairy and he had claws and red eyes and he was really scary," Charlie rambled. "He came out of my closet and tried to hurt me."
I watched (Y/N) pull her a little closer, holding her tighter than before. She kissed the top of Charlie's head and promised her she was safe.
"No monster is going to hurt you, little one," she reassured our daughter. "Do you know why?"
Charlie looked up at her, bright green eyes filled with fear as she shook her head.
(Y/N) smiled at her warmly. "Because you're a Winchester. And do you know what monsters fear the most, sweetheart?"
Charlie again shook her head.
"Winchesters," (Y/N) whispered. "Your daddy and your Uncle Sammy made sure of that. No monster would dare try to hurt you."
"Really?" she asked in a small voice.
"Really," (Y/N) confirmed. "Besides, I'm here to protect you and so is your Aunt Donna. I will always keep you safe, Charlie. Always."
Charlie seemed pleased by this, a little smile appearing on her face. "You promise?"
(Y/N) smiled and kissed her on the head. "I promise, little one."
Charlie nestled in closer to her mother and sighed contentedly. (Y/N) stroked her hair and began to sing softly, the sound more soothing than anything she'd said thus far.
I watched my beautiful wife comforting our daughter in a way my father had never comforted us when we were afraid. (Y/N) made Charlie feel safe and protected and I knew she would defend her with her life--just as I would have done.
I stayed long enough to hear (Y/N) sing all the words to 'Let It Be', her favorite Beatles song. It reminded me of when I was young and my mother sang her favorite, 'Hey Jude'.
I wished I was there for them both--to comfort and protect the way a father and a husband should. But I knew the people I had left behind would always be there for my girls, and that had to be enough.
By the time (Y/N) finished singing, Charlie had fallen asleep. She looked so peaceful it warmed my heart. (Y/N) smiled up at the ceiling and blew a kiss my way--her way of closing the conversation.
I returned to heaven, pleased with the knowledge the people I loved most were safe and happy. I couldn't ask for anything more.
**********
"Charlie MaryEllen Winchester!" you yelled as your daughter ran across the backyard of Sam and Eileen's house.
You heard her contagious giggle and you shook your head. "This child..." you mumbled as Sam came up beside you.
"She's a lot like her dad."
"So is yours," you teased as you nodded towards little Dean as he chased Charlie throughout the yard.
"I feel like naming him after Dean should have been a warning."
You laughed. "He's got great parents, so I wouldn't worry about him."
Sam slung an arm around you and tugged you into his side. "Charlie's got a pretty great mom too."
You smiled up at him and laid your head against him. "I can't believe she's six."
"Neither can I," Sam admitted. "And Dean's three? When the hell did that happen?"
"No idea."
"Kids!" Eileen called from the doorway. "Dinner!" The kids ran into the house and Eileen gestured at the two of you. "That means you too!"
You laughed. "How does she put up with us?"
"She's a saint."
"Amen."
After dinner, the five of you gathered in the living room to play board games. Halfway through a game of Monopoly, Charlie looked up at you and asked for a story.
"You always tell the best stories, mama."
You smiled. "Okay, munchkin. What kind of story do you want?"
"Can you tell one about daddy?"
Emotion clouded your face for a moment before you smiled at your daughter again. You looked into her beautiful green eyes and hummed softly. "I think I can come up with something."
"So does that mean we're done with Monopoly?" Sam asked hopefully.
"I think so," you chuckled.
"Thank god." He turned to little Dean. "Auntie (Y/N) is gonna tell a story about your Uncle Dean."
"Uncie Dean!" he squealed happily.
You laughed warmly and gestured for both kids to come sit in front of you. You closed your eyes for a moment, mentally calling out to your husband in the hopes he would check in and see this moment.
"How 'bout the time daddy gave me an impromptu birthday party?"
Sam laughed loudly. "I love that story."
You smiled. "Me too." Your expression changed as you reminisced, but the warmth never left your eyes.
"It was my 25th birthday and your daddy wanted to celebrate what he deemed was a big milestone..."
**********
Dean's POV:
I heard (Y/N) call my name, so I told Charlie, Jo, and Pamela that I had to forfeit our game of pool. "It's (Y/N/N)," I said with a shrug.
"Awww," all three of them said in a teasing tone.
I waved them off as I went outside to visit my wife. When I opened my eyes again, I saw the whole family sitting in Sam and Eileen's living room.
My daughter and my nephew were sitting on the floor watching (Y/N) with wide eyes. Even Sam and Eileen were paying close attention. (Y/N) appeared to be telling some kind of story and she was signing it as well to make sure Eileen could keep up.
I entered the room fully and heard (Y/N) telling a story--a story about me.
"We weren't exactly big on celebrating birthdays in our line of work, but Dean got it into his head that today was important and needed to be celebrated. I have no idea what the heck he was thinking, since we were living out of motels at the time, but he decided he wanted to have a birthday party for me."
"He didn't say a word to me about it," she continued, "but he did tell his brother." She threw a pointed look in Sam's direction and he shrugged innocently. "We had just started dating...I think it had only been a few months, actually."
"It was six months," Sam cut in at the same time I whispered, "Six."
(Y/N) laughed. "Okay, six months. Anyway, we didn't have any cases on the horizon--no where else we needed to be, so your father thought it would be a good idea to have a celebration. He bought a cake, balloons, streamers--the whole nine yards."
"He sent the two of us out to pick up dinner so he could decorate the little motel room," Sam added.
"When we returned, the entire room was covered in decorations and he was standing in the middle of the room holding a bundle of lilies--my favorite flower."
She sighed happily at the memory and I had a feeling she could picture it as well as I could.
"He even said 'surprise!' when we came into the room. I remember it being a really heartwarming moment for me. I couldn't even remember the last time I'd celebrated a birthday and here was this man I'd only been with for a short time going all out to celebrate me."
"Your's was the only birthday I can remember him making a fuss over," Sam commented. "That's when I knew how much he cared about you."
She chuckled lightly. "Oddly enough, I still wasn't sure why he'd picked me, and I had no clue how deeply he cared for me...but I can pinpoint the exact moment I knew I loved him."
Both kids leaned forward, especially Charlie, who seemed to be hanging on to her mother's every word. Even Sam looked like he was unaware of this part of the story.
"We'd had dinner, and Dean forced Sam to sing me happy birthday--which was hilarious, I might add--and then he brought out the cake. It wasn't a store-bought cake like I'd expected. It was a homemade cake--yellow cake with chocolate icing, my absolute favorite. I was beyond shocked, especially since we didn't have an oven."
She grinned as she continued. "When I asked him where he got it, he admitted that the day before he'd gone to the store to get the supplies he needed and then he uh--well, he broke into a bakery to use their oven to bake me a cake for my birthday. It was one of the sweetest things anyone had ever done for me...and silly as it might sound, that was the exact moment I knew I was in love with him."
"Daddy broke into a bakery?" Charlie asked.
(Y/N) laughed. "Yes, he did, but it was a special circumstance. Don't commit crimes, kids."
Sam laughed and I could tell he was thinking about all the illegal shit we'd done in our lives--all kinds of things we wouldn't want either of our children to do.
"I want someone to break into a bakery to make me a cake," my daughter mumbled.
All the adults in the room laughed, myself included.
"Baby, I'd break into a bakery for you any day," (Y/N) teased warmly. She reached out and scooped Charlie up and pulled her onto her lap. She squeezed her tightly before tickling her stomach lightly to emphasize her words.
I watched the sweet moment for a little while longer before the ache of not being with them became unbearable. I blew my wife a kiss I knew she couldn't see and one for my daughter as well. "I love you both," I whispered before returning to my rightful place.
**********
"Moooooom!" Charlie moaned. "It's Sunday! You can't do things on Sunday."
You laughed and rolled your eyes. "You wouldn't have to do anything today if you'd done your homework yesterday, like I told you to."
She grumbled and sighed. "I hate homework."
"You sound like your dad," you teased lightly.
Charlie seemed to brighten at the comment, as she often did when she was compared to her dad. "Can't we do our Sunday dance party first?" she pleaded.
You sighed, giving her a look you'd often used on Dean. It clearly said 'You aggravate the hell out of me, but I love you endlessly'. Charlie knew what it meant as well as Dean had, so she knew she'd won.
"Fine," you mumbled, throwing your hands up.
"I'll pick the first song!" Charlie yelled as she jumped out of her chair and ran towards the stereo.
You'd bought an old stereo that could play cassette tapes as a kind of homage to Dean. After all, you had all of the albums he'd loved on cassette.
"This one!" Charlie exclaimed, pressing play on the machine.
The intro to 'You Shook Me All Night Long' by AC/DC started playing and you couldn't help but laugh. It was probably your fault she loved classic rock so much, but she really seemed to thrive on it the same way Dean had.
You watched your daughter start dancing around the living room to one of her favorite songs. At nine years old, she had no idea what the song was really about--but she sang those lyrics with all her might.
She grabbed your hand and dragged you into the dance with her. The two of you danced around the living room, singing along to song after song until you were both out of breath.
You'd started 'Sunday Dance Party' back when Charlie was just a baby. You'd dance around with her in your arms, singing along to songs that spoke to your soul--and songs Dean had loved with all his heart. The tradition had continued on for nine years now--and you hoped it would never end.
"Okay," you gasped breathlessly as the last song came to an end. "How 'bout a slower song to wind down?
Charlie nodded her agreement and started digging through the albums. "Mom, where's the Bob Seger one?"
Your heart clenched for a moment, remembering how you'd taken the album to your room to listen to it when you were having a particularly rough night. "One sec, baby. Let me grab it."
You went to your room and retrieved the tape, delivering it to your daughter who looked confused.
"Why was it in your room?"
"I wanted to listen to it earlier this week. It's--well it's a special album."
Charlie looked at you quizzically.
"It was one of your dad's favorites. He always said Bob Seger was the greatest lyricist of all time..." You closed your eyes, picturing Dean's face as he sang along to 'Night Moves'. "I can still hear him singing along."
Charlie looked sad and she reached out to grab your hand. "Do you wanna listen to someone else?"
You smiled and wiped the stray tear that had fallen on your cheek. "No, baby. Pick a Bob Seger song."
Charlie gave you a lopsided smile that so resembled one of Dean's and your heart tightened. She selected a song and to your surprise, Dean's favorite Bob Seger song started to play.
"Night Moves," you whispered.
"I really like this one," Charlie admitted.
You took her hands and started to sway to the music. "It was your dad's favorite."
Charlie beamed at that--clearly pleased with the correlation. It was another song she knew every word to, but had no idea what it was about. It made you smile, hearing her sing along.
When the song came to an end, Charlie looked up at you. "Mom, can I ask you something?"
"Of course, sweetheart."
"What was dad's all-time favorite song?"
You exhaled slowly as you thought about it. "He had two--'Ramble On' and 'Traveling Riverside Blue'."
"Led Zeppelin."
You grinned. "Very good. Your dad would be proud."
She smiled. "What's yours?"
Your expression changed, the smile falling from your face. "If you'd asked me before I met your dad, my answer would have been different. But now? It's an REO Speedwagon song from the '80s. It's called 'Can't Fight This Feeling'."
"I...I don't think I know that one."
"That's probably because I haven't played it in a very long time--you were probably four the last time I listened to it."
"Why?"
"It was too hard to listen to it," you admitted. "The night Dean--your dad--asked me out, we went to a karaoke bar. He decided he wanted to sing a song and he chose 'Can't Fight This Feeling'. He dedicated it to me and it became our song. When he asked me to marry him, that song was playing in the background and it was the song we danced to at our wedding."
"So it reminds you of dad."
You nodded. "More than any other song ever could."
"Could we...could we listen to it?" she asked softly. A pained expression crossed your face and she immediately backtracked. "We don't have to."
"No, no, it's okay. We can listen to it. It's probably way past time I listen to it again."
You went into your room and dug out the old REO Speedwagon album, bringing it out to the living room and placing it in the cassette player. You pressed play and as the intro started, your chest tightened again.
Charlie listened intently as the song played and you swayed along to it, the lyrics slipping from your lips softly. For a moment, you swore you could feel Dean standing behind you with his arms wrapped around you, swaying with you. You closed your eyes and heard his voice in your mind, singing softly just for you to hear.
**********
"What am I supposed to do with her?" you grumbled, head in your hands as you sat across the table from Jody.
Your friend laughed softly. "She's a teenager now, (Y/N). She's probably gonna be a bit of a pain in the ass for a while."
You groaned. "You raised teenage girls. How did you do it?"
Jody smiled. "It wasn't easy, let me tell you, but my girls are good girls now and I'm thankful for it. It's probably gonna be a little harder for you, though--Charlie takes after her father in a lot of ways."
"Oh you mean like his stubborn, pig-headedness? Or his sarcasm and biting humor?"
Jody laughed. "Yeah all of that is true--but she also takes after him in a lot of the good ways too. She's just as deeply emotional as him, but she doesn't know how to express it or understand it yet."
You sighed. "You're not wrong. Dean never really learned how to express it, but he didn't exactly have a normal childhood. I'm just hoping I can help her--that is if I don't kill her for mouthing off all the damn time."
**********
Dean's POV:
I was surprised to see (Y/N) sitting at Jody's dining table, the older woman sitting across from her. (Y/N) looked stressed and I felt the strong urge to comfort her, even though I knew I couldn't.
"You're not gonna kill her," Jody assured my wife.
"I just might if she tells me I'm ruining her life one more time."
"Uh-oh. I've heard that one before. What's she think you're doing?"
"I told her she can't hunt."
"Well yeah, she's 13."
(Y/N) shook her head. "Ever. I told her she could never hunt."
Jody looked sad, but unsurprised. "Ahh..and she didn't take that well."
"No," (Y/N) said firmly. "No, she did not."
I was more than a little surprised (Y/N) had told Charlie she couldn't hunt. I mean, I didn't want her to hunt either, but it wasn't like (Y/N) to try and make life decisions for someone else.
"Did you tell her why?" Jody asked.
"I tried, but she was too angry to hear me," (Y/N) whispered. "I can't lose her, Jody--she's all I have."
Jody reached out and squeezed her hand. "She's not all you have, honey, but I get what you're saying. She's your daughter and you don't want that life for her."
"She's all I have left of Dean," she whispered so softly, Jody had to lean in to hear her.
"Oh honey," Jody said gently as she got up to give my wife a hug. She cried into Jody's shoulder and I suddenly felt like I was intruding on a very private moment I wasn't meant to see. I was about to go back to heaven when I heard (Y/N) speak again.
"Do you think I should tell her everything?"
Jody sighed as she thought about it. "Do you think she's ready to know the truth?"
"I honestly don't know," she admitted. "But I can't help but feel that if she only knew, she wouldn't want that life for herself...and maybe she would understand why I don't either."
I wasn't entirely sure what (Y/N) was referring to. I assumed she meant the general horror that was our lives--and all the pain and loss that went with it.
"Talk to Sam," Jody suggested. "See what he thinks."
(Y/N) nodded her agreement and I decided to stay with her until she spoke to Sam...I had a feeling I would want to know what happened next.
**********
"Hey Sammy," you said softly as he opened the door.
"Here to get Charlie?" he asked.
You nodded, but grabbed his arm to keep him from turning around to get her. "I...I wanted to talk to you first."
"Sure, (Y/N/N). You okay?"
You shook your head. "Did she mention how much she hates me?"
Sam sighed and guided you to his office, just off the front door. "She mentioned something about it, yeah."
"I told her she couldn't be a hunter."
"I'm surprised she'd even want to be, given how much death and pain it caused all of us."
"That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about."
Sam raised his eyebrows, but remained quiet, waiting for you to continue.
"I didn't tell her the whole story," you admitted. "About Dean's death."
"What do you mean?"
"I didn't want her to know how awful it really was, so I told her he died instantly--painlessly."
Sam sighed softly. "(Y/N)..."
"I know! I know...I shouldn't have lied to her. But the truth is so much worse and I didn't want those images in her mind. I didn't want her to know how he suffered, how we watched him die knowing we couldn't save him."
A soft gasp behind you alerted you to the presence of another person. You spun around just in time to see your daughter peeking around the corner, a look of horror on her face. As soon as you made eye contact, Charlie raced away from you, running up the stairs and locking herself in the guest bedroom.
"Charlie!" you called as you ran after her, Sam close on your heels.
You knocked on the door and begged her to open it--to let you explain, but she refused.
"Baby, please just open the door," you begged.
Sam touched your arm and gestured something you didn't quite understand. He repeated the gesture and a look of comprehension spread across your face. You nodded and he left quickly to grab what he needed.
When he returned, he had his lock picking tools in his hand and he began to pick the bedroom door lock. When it clicked, signaling it was now unlocked, he stepped back and allowed you to enter.
**********
Dean's POV:
I was shocked by the events that had led to this moment, but at the same time, I didn't really blame my wife for lying to Charlie. In all honesty, I had done the same thing about a million times in my life--all under the guise of protection.
As (Y/N) stepped into the room, I followed her, eyes darting around the space, trying to find my daughter. I finally noticed her, curled up on the floor on the other side of the bed, back against the wall and knees pulled up to her chest.
(Y/N) clearly saw her too because she made her way over there, dropping to her knees in front of Charlie. "I'm sorry, sweetheart," she whispered.
"You lied to me," Charlie seethed.
I saw (Y/N)'s eyes flutter closed for a moment, tears beginning to form. "You're right," she admitted softly. "I lied to you. Perhaps I shouldn't have, but I can't change it. If you'll let me, I'd like to explain why...and tell you the truth."
"How do I know you won't lie again?"
"I guess you'll just have to trust me."
Charlie finally made eye contact with her mother and my heart nearly broke at the hurt look on her face. She'd been crying pretty hard and her eyes were red and puffy. She looked conflicted, but finally reached out a hand and her mother grabbed it, pulling her to her feet.
(Y/N) and Charlie sat on the bed in silence for a moment before (Y/N) began to speak. "When you were little and you'd ask me where your dad was, it always hurt me to answer you. When you were born, I was still in mourning, and I never really dealt with his death until you were a few months old."
She took a deep breath before continuing, "Our lives were complicated in a way I could never fully describe to you. Your father always believed he would die young--I was just too naive to agree. His death broke me in ways I'm embarrassed to admit. He was my everything, Charlie, and for a while, I wished I could trade places with him."
She sighed, tears falling freely now. "But then I found out I was pregnant and I had to shift my whole mindset. My life became about taking care of you--protecting you--and nothing else mattered. I may not have always gone about it in the right way, but I never intended to hurt you."
Charlie sniffled a little and turned to face (Y/N) as she continued talking.
"The things this family has done--the lives we've saved, has earned us a bit of special treatment. I know I've told you a lot of things about monsters and demons and angels--all of those things were true. Heaven and Hell really do exist, and your dad really is in heaven."
She closed her eyes, thinking back to many years prior. "When you were a baby, your dad was given a gift by god. He was able to return to earth for one short hour to say goodbye to me and Uncle Sammy--and to meet you."
Charlie's eyes widened in shock. "He met me?"
(Y/N) nodded. "Yeah, baby, he did. He held you in his arms and told you how perfect you were--and how he wanted your life to be beautiful and amazing; sentiments I also share. It wasn't until that moment I really started to heal--to properly grieve."
"But what about his death?" Charlie whispered. "I heard you say it was awful and he suffered."
I watched agony flash across my wife's face and I wanted so badly to hold her--to take away the pain. Just like I wanted to shield Charlie from the memory (Y/N) was about to share.
"We've lost a lot of people in this life, Charlie. More people than I'd care to admit. The three incredible women you're named after all died as a direct result of hunting--of the life we chose. There were so many others that we loved deeply and lost painfully. Your dad was no different."
"The main parts of the story are true. We were hunting vampires--me, your dad, and your Uncle Sam. Everything seemed fine...it was a shocking cut and dry, easy hunt, but it turned into the worst night of my life. I heard your uncle scream my name and I just knew...I almost didn't turn around."
She sniffed softly and exhaled shakily. The painful memory was not one she had ever wanted to relive. "Your dad had been thrown by a vampire, like so many times before. I didn't even think anything of it, but when I turned around, I saw--" she cleared her throat, "I saw his feet dangling slightly, up against a post, with a piece of metal sticking out of his chest."
Charlie gasped and renewed tears sprang from her eyes.
(Y/N) didn't stop...once she'd begun, she couldn't stop. "I knew without him saying a word that he was dying--this was it. Your uncle and I had to stand there and watch him slowly fade away. I heard him take his last breath, taking a piece of my soul with him. It was hell, Charlie."
Charlie was crying harder as her mother turned to her, her own tears staining her cheeks. (Y/N) reached for her and Charlie dove into the comfort of her arms.
"I'm sorry, mama," she cried.
(Y/N) tightened her grip. "It's alright baby."
The two stayed like that for a long time, not separating until their tears had dried.
When Charlie sat up and wiped her face, she seemed almost sheepish.
(Y/N) turned to her with a sad smile. "So you see, that's why I don't want you to be a hunter. It's not that I think you couldn't do it or a desire to control you--I just don't wanna lose you."
Charlie nodded. "I'm sorry I freaked out on you," she whispered.
"It's okay, baby. I'm not mad."
I couldn't even begin to express the various emotions I was feeling in that moment. I was proud of my wife and heartbroken for her and Charlie. I missed them both terribly and I knew they felt the same. The ache in my chest was a constant reminder of the distance between us--and I didn't know if I could take much more of it.
********
"Well, baby," you said, looking at the ceiling. "Our little girl turns 16 today...and it scares the hell out of me."
You sighed and dragged yourself out of bed, heading to the bathroom to get ready for the day.
"She's got a boyfriend, you know," you continued. "I think I scared him a little bit when he came over last weekend to meet me. You'd be proud."
You brushed your teeth, humming quietly as you did.
"His name is Zack--he seems nice enough. I'm not too worried about her. She's a tough girl and knows how to fight, thanks to her mama."
You sighed as you ran a brush through your hair.
"I just can't believe she's two years away from adulthood. It blows my mind," you admitted softly. "It's days like today that I miss you more than ever. I wish you were here Dean, and I love so much."
You blew a kiss towards the ceiling before finishing getting ready.
When you went downstairs, Charlie was already at the table eating a bowl of cereal.
"My, my, you're up early," you teased.
"It's not every day a girl turns 16, mom," she teased in return.
"16...god that makes me feel old."
"You are old."
You threw a dish towel at her and she giggled as she blocked it. "Little shit," you mumbled.
"Fry cry from when you used to call me 'little one'."
You smiled. "You were so cute back then."
"What? Am I hideous now?"
You laughed and squeezed her in a tight hug. "You're the most beautiful girl I know."
You kissed her cheek and she groaned. "Gross, mom."
You laughed. "You know, someday you're gonna miss this. Soon, you'll be going off to college and leaving me in the dust. You'll get married and move away and one day you'll wake up and think 'man I wanna hug my mom'."
Charlie rolled her eyes playfully. "Yeah, yeah, yeah." She paused for a moment, her face sobering slightly. "Hey mom?"
"Hmm?"
"Why don't you date?"
You nearly choked on your coffee. "Pardon?"
"Why don't you ever date? You're pretty and smart--I know there's a lot of hot, single dads at school who would love to take you out."
"As much as I appreciate that darling, I'm not interested in dating."
"Why not?"
You sat your mug down. "Why the sudden interest in my dating life?"
"Because I'm going to college soon, mom--and I don't want you to be alone," she admitted softly.
You sighed. "Oh sweetheart. You don't need to worry about me, I'll be just fine. Besides, I'm not alone--not really."
"I don't mean friends mom, I mean someone to love you."
"To be honest with you, Charlie, I've thought about it...but I know, in my heart, no one will ever compare to your dad. No one could ever love me the way he did, nor could I ever love someone as much as I love him. So I don't mind being alone--I know for a fact I will see your dad again. That's a gift most people will never have."
"I want a love like that," Charlie said quietly.
You smiled. "I hope you will someday, baby. I really do."
She smiled and nodded, looking down at the last of her cereal. "It's kind of nice knowing heaven is real--like not just having faith, but knowing."
You glanced up, a small smile on your face. "Yeah it is, sweetheart. Yeah it is."
**********
"Mama," Charlie whimpered as she practically barged through your front door and straight into your arms.
"What's wrong baby? What happened?"
"Steven broke up with me," she cried.
"Oh sweetheart," you said gently. "Come on in and sit down. Let me make you some chamomile tea."
Charlie sniffled and nodded, coming into the house and sitting down at the kitchen island to watch you as you prepared her tea.
"Do you wanna tell me what happened?"
"He said I wasn't good enough for him--that he's going places and I'll just 'hold him back'."
You closed your eyes and your grip tightened on the tea kettle in your hand. You felt the strong urge to go find this kid and smack him around a little, but you knew that wouldn't solve anything. It certainly wouldn't fix your daughter's broken heart. For the first time, you were glad Dean wasn't here--you knew he would have beaten the shit outta the kid for hurting his baby girl.
"He's obviously an idiot--and an asshole, for that matter."
Charlie sniffled again. "But I love him."
You sighed softly, turning around to face her. "I know, sweetie. But I also know he's not the right man for you."
"How do you know?"
"He would have never said those things to you if he was. If he loved you and I mean truly loved you, you would be his priority."
Charlie nodded, but still looked horribly sad. You finished making her tea and sat the cup down in front of her with a soft smile.
"You're gonna be okay, baby. It's going to hurt for a while--and that's alright--it's okay to feel. But you're going to dust yourself off and keep going."
"What if I never find anyone?" she whispered.
"You're 19, Charlie," you said gently. "You've got so much time. I was 31 when I married your father."
She looked up at you with sad eyes. "I wanna find a love like you and daddy."
You inhaled deeply. "That's all I've ever wanted for you, sweetheart--and I know your dad would want the same thing. I'm sure it's hard to not have relationship role models in your parents, but at least you know how we feel about each other."
Charlie shook her head qucikly. "You guys are my relationship role models. Just because dad isn't here, doesn't mean I don't look up to him and you. I've heard stories about how much he loved you my entire life--from everyone, Uncle Sam, Aunt Donna, Aunt Eileen, Aunt Jody, Claire, Alex...everyone. And I've seen how much you love him...even now. It's been 19 years since he died and your love hasn't diminished."
Tears filled your eyes. You were glad she knew how much her parents loved each other, even if she never saw them together.
You came around the island and took Charlie's hand, guiding her to the couch in the living room. She sat down beside you and you held her close, letting her cry softly into your chest.
"Let me tell you something, sweetheart. Someday, you're going to meet someone who makes you laugh, holds you when you cry, supports all of your goals and ambitions, and loves you for who you are. They'll treat you right, respect you, and fight for you even when it's difficult."
You kissed the top of her head and continued, "I hope that person makes you feel amazing--like you're the only woman in the world to them. I want you to be loved fully--by someone who sees your value, your worth. And I hope you love them with the same kind of endless passion."
Charlie sniffed and held you a little tighter.
"I love your dad with everything I have--he's the other half of my soul. He loved me infinitely more than I deserved and I am incredibly honored to have experienced that kind of love. All I want is for you to experience a love like that--a love that lasts forever...death be damned."
**********
Dean's POV:
I listened to my daughter cry over her first broken heart and I watched my wife comfort her in a way only someone as amazing as she is could do.
I listened to Charlie say her mother and I were her role models--that she hoped to find a love like ours one day.
I cried as I listened to my wife tell our daughter her hopes for the future--and the love she hoped Charlie would experience. I cried even harder as (Y/N) tells her the kind of love we shared--the kind that lasts even in death.
I can't help but share the same hope as my wife--echo the same prayers for her future. She deserves the world, and that includes a love story for the ages.
I watch, with tears in my eyes, as my wife glances up at the ceiling and mouths 'I love you' before blowing a kiss. This time, I whisper the words back and blow a kiss to her, hoping somehow she can sense it.
**********
"He's just such a great guy," Charlie gushed.
You looked over at Sam, trying to gauge his reaction.
"Does he treat you right?" he asked.
Charlie nodded eagerly. "He's so good to me. He's always respectful and sweet--I...I think I love him."
Your eyes widened and you gave Sam a pointed look.
"Why don't you bring him by for dinner on Saturday?" Sam suggested.
"That would be great!" She stood on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek. "Thanks Uncle Sam!"
She rushed out the door, giddy in the way only new love could be.
"So you're gonna research the hell outta him, right?" you asked.
"Obviously," Sam agreed.
By the time Saturday rolled around, Sam had completed his research and to your happy surprise, there didn't seem to be anything concerning in this guy's past. Of course, you took precautions, as you so often did with Charlie's friends and boyfriends. You needed to make sure she was safe.
Sam had laid out the silver dinnerware and you'd blessed all the water in the house, just in case. You could never be too careful--you were still Winchesters after all.
When Charlie and her boyfriend, Paul, arrived, you were surprised by how gentlemanly he was. He'd brought you flowers, which you thought was a very sweet gesture, especially since they were lilies--your favorite.
"That's so sweet of you, Paul," you said warmly. "Lilies are my favorite."
He smiled. "I asked Charlie what your favorite was so I could get you something you would like."
You were surprised by the thoughtfulness of the gesture, but it gave you a very positive feeling in your chest. A feeling you could see reflected in your daughter's eyes.
The more you talked with him and the more information you got, the more you liked him. He was genuinely kind and caring, and you could see how much he cared for Charlie.
He made her laugh, he made her smile, and he was gently affectionate with her in a way that reminded you of Dean. In fact, there was a lot about him that made you think of Dean...and that made you extremely happy for your daughter.
Eileen, Charlie, and Paul were sitting in the living room after dinner, while you and Sam cleared the table and did dishes. You'd had to practically force Paul to go sit down. He was very insistent on helping you. Normally, you would have happily taken his help, but you really wanted to talk to Sam alone.
"So what do you think?" you asked softly.
"He doesn't seem to be any kind of monster," Sam mumbled. "And he treats Charlie well."
"I like him," you admitted. "He, uhh--he reminds me of Dean."
"Really?" Sam asked in surprise.
"The way he looks at Charlie...the way he makes her laugh and smile...the way she looks at him. All of it reminds me of my relationship with Dean. It's what I've always wanted for her."
Sam smiled. "You must really like him to compare him to Dean."
You chuckled. "You're not wrong. I'm happy for her, but I'm not trying to marry her off yet."
Sam laughed. "I know you're not, don't worry."
Later that night, Charlie asked you what you thought of Paul and you repeated what you'd told Sam earlier.
"He reminds you of dad?" Charlie whispered.
You nodded. "I liked him very much."
"So do I, mom."
You pulled her close, hugging her tightly. "I'm happy for you baby."
"Thanks...I'm glad you approve."
"So does your Uncle Sam, for the record."
"That actually makes me feel really good," Charlie admitted. "It's almost as good as having a seal of approval from dad."
You smiled. "I know your dad would like him too, sweetheart. He makes you happy and that's all we've ever wanted for you."
**********
"Today's the day," you whispered, looking at the framed picture of your husband. "Our baby girl is getting married."
It had been two years since you'd first met Paul and the longer you knew him, the more you liked him. He was the right match for Charlie and you couldn't even begin to describe how happy you were for her. She deserved to be loved by a good man--to experience a love as powerful as her parents have.
You couldn't believe they were getting married today. It was the next step in your daughter's life and it brought you so much joy, and perhaps a little sadness. It was the end of an era. Your little girl was about to start a new life with the man she loved...and it made you miss your other half.
You'd always known today would be difficult. Dean wouldn't be there to walk his daughter down the aisle and it broke your heart, but that didn't mean he couldn't be present. You had a framed picture of him with you at Charlie's suggestion--a way to keep his memory with you on this special day.
His picture was wonderful, but you craved his presence--his soul. You wanted to feel like he was with you, and you knew he'd want to witness the events of the day.
"Hey baby," you said to the ceiling. "I really need you here, Dean."
You waited a few moments in silence, hoping he had heard you.
**********
Dean's POV:
I was lounging in a chair in the Roadhouse, listening to Charlie and Ash have a heated debate about some nerdy computer thing I couldn't possibly understand. Just listening to them made me smile--it felt good to be surrounded by so many people I'd loved and lost.
I took a slow drink of my whiskey and chuckled softly at their antics. I made eye contact with Ellen over the tops of their heads and she had a similar expression on her face.
"I really need you here, Dean."
I heard (Y/N)'s voice in my mind and knew I needed to go to her immediately. She didn't sound distressed, but I could tell she needed me by the tone of her voice.
I stood up and crossed the room towards the bar where Ellen was standing. "I need to go check on (Y/N/N)."
Ellen nodded. "Use the backroom. I'll keep everyone out."
"Thanks, Ellen."
I went into the backroom and sat down. I closed my eyes and pictured the sweetest face in the world--my beloved (Y/N). When I opened my eyes, I was in a place I didn't recognize, looking at a woman I knew to be my wife--even if she didn't quite look like the woman I always pictured.
She was older than even the last time I saw her, but she was no less beautiful. Her curves were softer, her hair was graying, and the lines on her face were deeper. None of that mattered to me, she still stole my heart with just a glance.
She was wearing a long silky robe, which only increased my confusion. We were in a strange place, and she wasn't wearing proper clothes.
"Well, handsome, I think I've given you enough time," she said softly. "You're probably wondering where we are..." she gestured around. "Today is a very special day...it's Charlie's wedding day."
I gasped--I hadn't realized enough time had passed for her to have met a man worthy of marriage...hell, I didn't even know who she was marrying.
"I don't know if you've met Paul yet, but he's a wonderful man, Dean--and he's so good to Charlie. You would really like him, I just know it. He even reminds me of you," she said softly. "He loves her the way you love me. It's what we've always wanted for her."
I couldn't believe my daughter was getting married, but if her soon-to-be-husband was as great as (Y/N) described, then I was beyond happy for her. I wasn't going to miss a single moment of this day, no matter how long it took.
"I've gotta get my dress on and go check on (Y/N). Feel free to go find her--I'll be there soon."
I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to stay for that...she was still my wife, after all, but it felt creepy to watch her change. Instead, I went to find my daughter.
It didn't take me long to find her and when I did, my heart clenched in my chest. She looked so much like her mother it was almost frightening, the only difference was her eyes.
I had no idea how old she was, but I would have guessed she was around 28--if only based on how her mother had looked at that age. She had long, beautiful hair that was styled in some fancy wedding do. A woman was finishing her makeup and there were other girls in the room with her chatting away as they got ready.
I didn't want to see something I couldn't unsee, so I decided to go back to (Y/N)'s room until the ceremony began.
**********
You smoothed your dress and took a deep breath before entering the bridal suite to check on your daughter. She was just preparing to put on her dress when you entered.
You inhaled sharply and tears stung your eyes as you took in her beautiful face--she almost seemed to sparkle. "You look beautiful, baby," you whispered.
"Thanks mom. I was wondering where you were--I almost sent one of the girls to come get you."
"Don't worry, sweetheart. I wouldn't miss this for the world."
You crossed the room and hugged her tightly. You helped her into her dress, zipping up the back and looking in the mirror with her.
"How are you feeling?" you asked.
"Nervous," she admitted.
"Don't be. You're marrying a great man. You have nothing to be nervous about."
"Were you nervous on your wedding day?"
You chuckled lightly. "Not even a little."
"Really?"
"Really," you confirmed. "I knew I wanted to marry your father and I knew he would be waiting at the end of the aisle for me--nothing else mattered."
Charlie smiled and you saw some of her nerves fall away. "I wish daddy was here right now," she whispered.
"He is, sweetheart--I know it."
"How do you know?"
"I told him I needed him. He would never ignore that call."
Charlie smiled tearily and you waved your hand in front of her face to dry the tears.
"Don't mess up your makeup, sweetie."
She laughed and you placed a soft kiss to her cheek. "I'm so proud of you."
"Thanks mom," she murmured.
"You ready?"
She nodded. "I'm ready."
"Then let's go."
**********
Dean's POV:
I waited patiently outside of the bridal suite for my wife and daughter to emerge. I was rendered absolutely speechless when I caught a glimpse of Charlie--she looked even more beautiful than before. Even better, she looked so incredibly happy.
I followed the bridal party as they moved towards the main hall where the ceremony was taking place. I watched as everyone began to line up and I started to wonder who would be walking Charlie down the aisle.
As I had this thought, my brother appeared with something in his hand. He looked older too, of course, but he still looked like my little brother to me.
"I think you forgot something," Sam said to (Y/N) as he handed her what appeared to be a picture frame.
She took it with a teary expression and hugged him tightly. "Thanks, Sammy."
He kissed the top of her head before embracing Charlie. "You look beautiful, Charlie."
"Thanks, Uncle Sam."
"Alright, I've gotta go sit down. Your mother will kill me if I'm late." He addressed his words to a tall young man I quickly recognized as my namesake, Sam's son, Dean.
"Better go fast, the procession is about to start," (Y/N) teased.
I'd assumed Sam would be walking Charlie down the aisle, but now I was truly confused. Perhaps (Y/N/N) was going to do it.
The doors opened and the music poured out as the wedding party began the long walk down the aisle. Before long, the only people who remained were my wife and my daughter.
"You ready, sweetheart?" (Y/N) asked.
Charlie nodded. She took the picture frame from her mother and breathed deeply. She kissed her hand and then placed it on the picture with a small smile. I looked at the picture and surprise lit up my face. It was a picture of me...
She handed it back to her mother with a smile.
"In a way, he's still walking you down the aisle," (Y/N) whispered softly.
"It's perfect," Charlie affirmed.
The wedding march began and (Y/N) squeezed Charlie's arm gently. The two of them began the walk down the aisle and I followed behind them, proud to be there for this powerful moment.
This was the proudest moment of my life--or I guess afterlife. My daughter was happy, my wife was happy--I couldn't have asked for anything better.
**********
"You didn't say it would be this awful," Charlie accused you.
You chuckled lightly. "Of course I did, but you didn't want to listen."
Charlie groaned as a contraction hit her.
You looked up at Paul, who looked slightly terrified. "You alright there, Paul?" you asked gently.
"I feel a little anxious, that's all," he reassured you.
You smiled, thinking back to the day you gave birth to Charlie. Sam's face had looked very similar to the way Paul looked right now.
Much like you, Charlie was tough as nails, and you knew she would make it through childbirth just as you had. "You're doing great, honey," you murmured.
She moaned in pain, squeezing both your hand and Paul's. You winced slightly, but let her keep squeezing. You soothed her gently, brushing her hair back from her face, much like Eileen had done for you 30 years prior.
You almost couldn't believe it had been that long. It was hard to believe how fast the time had gone by, but part of you still felt as though time was too slow. You wanted as much time with your daughter as possible, but your desire to be reunited with Dean was almost as strong. Love was complicated that way.
Charlie's nails biting into your skin roused you from your thoughts and you focused back on your daughter, trying to help her through one of the most incredible--and painful--moments of her life.
Ultimately, Charlie was in labor for a grand total of 14 hours before giving birth to a very healthy baby girl. You watched proudly as she held her newborn daughter in her arms and whispered to her much like you'd done to Charlie when she was born.
"You did so well, sweetheart," you said softly as you stroked Charlie's hair.
She looked up at you with those piercing green eyes of hers--emotion filling every part of her face. "She's so perfect."
You smiled, remembering the past as if it were yesterday. "Just like her mama," you murmured.
Tears filled Charlie's eyes and you kissed her forehead gently. You were just as emotional as she was, but you did your best to hide it. You didn't want to burden her with your emotions.
"Do you have a name picked out?" you asked.
Charlie nodded. "Lillian, after Paul's mother."
You knew Paul's mother had passed away a few years prior, so you thought the sentiment was especially sweet. "Lillian is a good name."
"Her middle name is Deanna...in honor of dad."
You inhaled sharply, surprised by how a simple name stirred up so much emotion. "He would love that, baby. In fact, Deanna is your great grandmother's name. Your grandmother named her children after her parents, Deanna and Samuel...Dean and Sam."
"I never knew that," Charlie whispered.
"I guess I never really thought about it until now."
Charlie looked up at Paul. "What about her last name?"
Charlie had chosen to keep her last name when she got married. She loved the name and the history that came along with it--plus she wanted to honor her dad, a sentiment you appreciated.
"I think we should hyphenate it," Paul answered.
"Lillian Deanna Winchester-Riley," Charlie said slowly. "I like that."
Paul smiled. "I like it too."
You smiled at the young couple and your sweet granddaughter, enjoying the moment as long as you could. There was so much you wanted to say, but now wasn't the time. You wanted this day to be nothing but happiness and love--Charlie deserved it.
**********
Dean's POV:
It had been several days since I'd last heard from (Y/N) and I was beginning to worry. Usually she talked to me pretty often, even if it was only for a few minutes at a time.
I couldn't shake the feeling something was wrong, so I decided to check in on her--just in case.
When I opened my eyes, I was surprised to find myself in a large doctor's office. I looked around the expansive room filled with several large comfortable reclining chairs, confusion flooding my mind. I didn't see (Y/N), but I did notice several people sitting back in their chairs, hooked up to IVs and monitors, and I had a feeling this wasn't a good place.
I began to walk down the rows of chairs, examining every face I came across. It didn't take me long to figure out this was a cancer treatment facility and these patients were likely receiving chemotherapy.
At the end of one of the rows, I saw a middle-aged woman sitting alone, reading a novel. My instincts told me to go to her and as I got closer, I realized I knew the (y/e/c) eyes as well as I knew my own.
"(Y/N)," I whispered as I sunk to my knees in front of her. She looked so much older than the last time I'd seen her, but I knew without a doubt that was due to her illness. She was wearing a pretty bandana on her head to hide her lack of hair and she looked painfully thin.
It broke my heart to see her like this--and it made me angry. Out of all the people in the world, (Y/N) deserved this the least. She was a hero, for god's sake. She'd saved the world as many times as I had, and she was a genuinely good person. She didn't deserve to suffer like this.
"Hey Miss (Y/N)," a woman's voice said from behind me. "How are you feeling?"
(Y/N) looked up at the young woman and smiled. "I'm alright, Cynthia, all things considered."
Cynthia nodded, a sad smile on her face. "Any nausea?"
(Y/N) shook her head. "I guess I'm used to it."
"Alright, well let me know if you need anything. You've got another hour left and then your daughter will be here to pick you up."
(Y/N) nodded and I watched the nurse walk away. When I turned my attention back to (Y/N), I could tell she felt terrible. The chemo was killing her as much as the cancer--she was becoming a shell of the woman I loved so dearly.
I almost couldn't stand to see her like this--the urge to run was one I had to suppress. (Y/N) needed me now more than ever and I would be damned if I left her side for more than a moment. She might not know I was there, but I hoped my presence would somehow comfort her.
I pressed my lips to her forehead in a soft kiss she couldn't feel and I whispered how much I loved her. As much as I wanted to be with her again, I needed her to survive--Charlie needed her more than me right now, so I couldn't be selfish. I would have done anything to make her healthy, but this was one problem I couldn't solve.
**********
You weren't exactly surprised when you'd been diagnosed with cancer three years prior, shortly before the birth of your first grandchild. You didn't tell Charlie until after Lillian was born...you hadn't wanted to worry her.
Chemo had been hell--maybe not quite as bad as what Dean had described hell to be like, but close enough. You wouldn't wish it on your worst enemy. You'd spent an entire year going to treatment after treatment, seeing doctor after doctor, and feeling like death the entire time.
You'd lost more than your hair...you'd lost your happiness and your spark--you'd lost yourself. Even now, two years in remission, you still didn't quite feel like your old self. You weren't sure you ever would be...life had simply thrown too many obstacles at you, and you were bound to break at some point.
The two constants in your life during your illness had been Charlie and Sam. You weren't surprised by either one's presence and you appreciated the love and care--even when they were a bit overbearing.
Now that you were healthy again, Charlie had been focusing more on her husband and two children--having just given birth to her second child.
You couldn't fault her for it, after all you'd told her you were completely fine. The only person who saw through you was Sam, but then again, he always had.
"Speak of the devil," you murmured softly as Sam walked into the living room.
"Were you talking about me?" Sam teased lightly.
"Technically, I was thinking about you."
"Okay, good. That's less concerning. For a moment, I thought you'd been talking to yourself."
"I tend to keep those conversations internal."
"You tend to keep everything internal," he admonished as he sat down beside you.
You sighed, hating how right he was.
"So come on. How are you really feeling?"
"Honestly, Sammy, I'm okay. I'm neither good, nor bad...I just am."
Sam exhaled deeply and nodded. "Has therapy helped at all?"
You shook your head. "I can't really explain what I'm feeling to a therapist, ya know? They wouldn't understand--hell, they'd probably think I was nuts."
Sam raised his eyebrows knowingly. "It's Dean again, isn't it?"
Tears filled your eyes. "I miss him now more than I ever have before--with the exception of the weeks after he first died. I can't explain it, but somehow almost dying has made me want to let go...to be with him again."
"I can't even begin to understand how you're feeling," Sam admitted. "But that doesn't mean I won't be here to listen and do what I can to help you. I don't want you to die anytime soon, but I know how it feels to welcome death with open arms."
You laid your head on his shoulder. "It's almost as if cancer took the joy out of life. I thought for sure I'd feel it again when I got better, but it's just not there. I don't want to die, but I'm tired, Sam--I'm so incredibly tired."
He knew what you meant without you having to explain yourself further. He simply wrapped his arms around you and held you close, allowing you to cry against his chest. He would have done anything for you, but he knew this time you were beyond his saving.
**********
It was your annual visit to your oncologist and Charlie had decided to come with you. You'd been in remission for five years now, but you had a feeling of dread you couldn't describe.
Charlie must have sensed it because she demanded to come with you to your appointment. You felt a bit like an invalid, having your daughter come with you, but you knew she was doing it out of love and concern.
"How have you been feeling lately, (Y/N)?" your doctor asked.
"A bit tired, but otherwise okay," you answered.
The doctor nodded, a sad look on her face. It was a look you knew well--you'd seen it before. "Just tell me," you inisisted.
Both Charlie and the doctor looked surprised, but the doctor was the first to recover. "I'm afraid your scans aren't looking good."
You closed your eyes and took a deep breath--both knowing and fearing her next words.
"It looks like the cancer is back...and it's spread."
You sighed heavily, but didn't cry--you'd already accepted the inevitability of death and you weren't surprised it was arriving sooner than you'd expected.
Charlie, on the other hand, was devastated. You heard her gasp out a soft sob, so you turned your attention to her, wrapping your arms around her to comfort her.
"How long?" you asked the doctor softly.
"With chemo and maybe some radiation, a year, maybe a year and a half."
Charlie's soft crying intensified, prompting you to hold onto her a little tighter.
"And without treatment?"
"Wait, mom--no," Charlie said quickly.
Your eyes locked on to the doctor's gray ones and she exhaled softly. "A few weeks--two months at most."
Charlie looked up at you, bright green eyes begging you for something you knew you couldn't give.
You smiled sadly, tears of your own filling your eyes. "I can't do it again, baby--I just can't. I don't want to live the last bit of my life suffering like I did with the last round. I'm 70 years old--I've lived my life, and I'm ready to let go."
Charlie sniffled. "But I'm not ready."
"I know, sweetheart, I know. We're never ready for the people we love to leave us. I don't want to leave you, but I can't stay forever."
"How am I supposed to live without you?" she whispered.
You smiled. "Luckily, you have a loving family who will support you through this. Losing someone is never easy, but you'll get through it, sweetheart. I'll be going to join your dad, so we'll both be watching over you."
She seemed to find some comfort in this, but you could still see the pain she was feeling. It broke your heart to leave her, but it was time. You were ready to go home--to Dean, who had always been your home.
**********
Telling Sam you were going to die had been one of the hardest things you'd ever had to do. He hated the idea of losing you almost as much as Charlie did, but he understood why you couldn't go through treatment again.
You'd done the rounds--saying goodbye to all the people you loved who still remained on earth. You would miss them terribly, but you knew this wasn't goodbye--you'd see them all again someday.
For the last week, you'd been in hospice. The end was coming soon and you were ready, even if your daughter wasn't. You were on enough pain medication to take down an elephant, but you managed to stay awake long enough to talk when you had visitors.
Today was one of those days. You'd already said your goodbyes to everyone else you loved, but Charlie was the one you knew would be the hardest. You'd tried to prepare her for this moment, but you knew it wasn't easy for her. You wanted to reassure her everything was going to be alright--she was going to be okay.
"I wanted to talk to you, sweetie," you said softly, interrupting your daughter's story.
"Sure, mom," she murmured, taking your hand. "What is it?"
"I'm ready to go," you whispered. "But I can't leave until you let me go."
Her eyes filled with unshed tears. "I'm not ready."
"Yes you are. You're the strongest person I know and you've got a loving husband who will help you through this." You squeezed her hand reassuringly. "Besides, you know where I'm going...how many people can say that?"
She nodded, sniffling softly. "Not many."
"Exactly. But you know. You know heaven is real. You know that all the people we love are there waiting for us. You know I'll always be with you--that I'll be checking in on you any chance I get. That knowledge is a gift, Charlie...the greatest gift I could possibly give you."
She closed her eyes for a moment, allowing your words to sink in. She hated letting you go, but she knew you were right. It hurt her to see you in pain and she could tell you needed to go.
"I will always love you, Charlie. Always. You're the best parts of me--and your dad. I've been honored to be your mother, to watch you grow up, to see the amazing woman you've become. I'm so proud of you in every way a mother can be proud of her daughter. You will always be my little girl--and I will never ever leave your heart."
Charlie laid her head on your chest, letting the tears fall in earnest. "I know how much you love me, mom, and I'm so thankful that I've had all these years with you. I love you so much and I'll miss you always. But I know it's time for you to move on...and you're right, I'll be okay. So it's okay...you can let go now. Go be with dad...where you belong."
Those words warmed your dying heart. They were what you needed to hear--what you needed Charlie to say. This was it. The last few moments of your life on earth. For many people, this moment would spark fear, but for you it was a welcome relief. As you'd told your daughter, you knew where you were going--you were going home.
**********
When you opened your eyes, you were surprised to find yourself in an open field. The sun was shining brightly and birds were singing softly. For a moment, you were lost--unsure of where you were or how you got there.
You looked down at your hands, surprised to see how soft and smooth they were. You'd become accustomed to the wrinkles of old age, but it appeared those were gone.
"Hello, (Y/N)," said a familiar voice from behind you.
You turned around and greeted the young man with a smile. "Jack!"
You hugged him without thinking--something you'd always done when you'd both been on earth. You supposed thinking of him as a 'young man' wasn't quite accurate anymore, but that's how you'd probably always see him.
Jack returned your embrace with a gentle smile. "Welcome to heaven."
You let go of him and nodded. "I, uhh, I think I'm a little younger than I was when I died." You held your hands up as evidence.
Jack nodded. "You are the same age you were when Dean passed away. I thought you would appreciate that."
You blinked away tears and nodded quickly. "Thank you," you whispered. You were about to ask where Dean was when Jack nodded towards a building in the distance.
"He's in there."
You glanced towards the building, eyes narrowing to read the signage above the door. A warm smile graced your face as you realized it was Harvelle's Roadhouse--the very place you'd met Dean.
You turned back to Jack to thank him, but he'd disappeared. You murmured another thank you to him, knowing he would hear you. He was god, after all.
You walked the relatively short distance to the Roadhouse, stopping outside the door to take a deep breath. It might not have been all that long for Dean, but for you it had been 38 years.
You knew you were more than ready to see him, so you pulled the door open and stepped inside. It felt exactly like stepping into the past--like being embraced by a favorite memory.
**********
Dean's POV:
I heard the doors open, but I didn't think much of it. People were always coming and going from the Roadhouse. It was a popular establishment, even in heaven.
I didn't even think anything when I heard Ellen greeting someone happily. I was too engrossed in the old western show I was watching on the TV above the bar.
It wasn't until I heard Bobby say "(Y/N)" that I started to pay attention--the spell finally broken. I looked around, trying to figure out why he'd said her name, when I made eye contact with the most beautiful (y/e/c) eyes I'd ever seen. I would know those eyes anywhere.
I jumped out of my seat and took a few steps in her direction, whispering her name like I was afraid she would disappear if I said it too loud.
She smiled at me--a warm, loving expression I'd missed more than I could express. "Hi, Dean."
Hearing her voice pushed me into action. I moved towards her at the same time she moved towards me--meeting in the middle in an embrace I'd craved for longer than I'd care to admit.
Neither of us spoke, we didn't need to. Just feeling her in my arms again was better than any words she could have said.
She looked up at me, affection warming her features, and I couldn't help but stare. She was so beautiful it hurt--if I hadn't already been dead, I would have passed out from lack of oxygen. I couldn't breathe as I looked at her--hell, I didn't even want to blink.
She reached up and touched my face, and I leaned into her caress. I'd missed the feeling of her gentle hands and I reveled in the feeling now.
She gently tugged on my head, pulling me down towards her. She stood up on her toes so she could press her lips against mine in a kiss more passionate than any we'd ever shared.
**********
Seeing Dean for the first time in almost 40 years was a shocking experience. He was just as handsome as you remembered, perhaps even more so.
You knew just by the way he looked at you that his love hadn't diminished in any way--just as yours hadn't.
Your embrace was wonderful, but it wasn't until your lips met his that you really felt the powerful emotions coursing through you. You had no desire to ever stop kissing him and you had a feeling he felt the same way.
You poured all your love for him into the kiss, and you could feel how much he loved you in return. It was more passionate--more powerful--than any kiss you'd ever shared with him on earth. You weren't sure if it was a heaven thing or simply because you'd been apart for so long.
When you finally separated, he looked at you with adoring eyes, hands still holding you firmly against him. You had a feeling he was afraid to let you go--a sentiment you shared.
He seemed to remember there were lots of witnesses around, which only made him more protective of you.
"Do you wanna see where I live?" he whispered quietly.
"Of course."
He addressed the room without taking his eyes off you. "I'm sure we'd all love to catch up and reminisce, but it'll have to wait. My beautiful wife and I have some catching up of our own to do."
You heard some knowing chuckles, which neither of you acknowledged. Instead, you allowed him to lead you out of the building and onto a gently sloping trail.
At the end of the trail sat a lovely little house, complete with a white picket fence--the kind of storybook ending neither of you had gotten in life.
Dean led you into the house and you instantly fell in love with it. There was just something about it that felt like home. Perhaps it was the man standing beside you, a hopeful look on his handsome face.
"Do you like it?"
"It's perfect," you said honestly.
He seemed to relax again, a small smirk dancing on his lips. "Wanna see the bedroom?"
You grinned. "I'd love to."
He led you down the hall to the bedroom. To your surprise, the room looked identical to the bedroom you'd shared at the bunker. You didn't expect such a simple thing to make you so emotional, but you couldn't help the tears that sprang to your eyes.
"Are you okay?" he murmured.
You nodded. "I just didn't realize how much I missed this room."
He smiled. "It's the only place that ever felt like home."
You shook your head. "Anywhere with you felt like home to me."
He turned to you suddenly, pressing his body against yours as he pulled you in for another heated kiss. His desire for you was evident in his actions and you had to admit, you wanted him just as badly.
"I'm glad you took your time," he admitted.
You pulled back, a little surprised at his words.
"Not because I didn't wanna be with you, baby. You know that," he reassured you. "I just wanted you to live a beautiful, full life."
You smiled warmly. "I did, Dean. I really did...but I never stopped missing you."
"I know," he admitted. "I was there for a lot of it."
"I always hoped you were."
He smiled at you again, before leaning down to place soft kisses to any piece of exposed skin he could.
"I have something I wanna try," he whispered against your skin.
"Mhmm?" you hummed softly.
"I wanna see if there's a limit to the number of times I can make you cum...it is heaven after all," he murmured huskily.
You gasped. "Dean!"
"Only if you want to..."
"Take me to bed, Mr. Winchester," you whispered. "I think we've both waited long enough."
"Anything for you, Mrs. Winchester...but don't rush me. Now it's my turn to take my time."
You giggled as he tossed you onto the bed, lips never far from each other's skin. You made love more times than either of you could count, trying to make up for all the lost time. Neither of you kept track of the number of times you fell apart in each other's arms...all that mattered was the love that still sparked between you, a love that even death could never diminish.
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fatecantstopme · 2 months
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Hello my beautiful followers! I absolutely love writing fanfiction and I hope you all enjoy them as well. I've started a Ko-fi as a way to support my writing and transition to a career of writing full-time.
Please do not feel any pressure to tip/donate. This is nothing more than a show of appreciation from those who love what I write. I appreciate everyone's support and I hope you will continue to read my fics.
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fatecantstopme · 2 months
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Truth Serum
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Pairing: Dean Winchester x reader
Summary: When you're captured by a powerful witch, Sam and Dean race to save you. The three of you are confronted with painful truths that will change your relationships forever.
Warnings: Canon violence, swearing, use of pet names. SMUT, oral (M and F receiving), unprotected sex (P in V), dom/sub vibes. Dean surrenders control to reader.
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You woke up in an unfamiliar room, unable to move, and your memory was fuzzy--you had no idea how you'd gotten here. All you knew in that moment was your head was pounding and your arms were tied securely behind your back.
You looked around the room, seeking something familiar to ground yourself, but nothing spoke to you. You wracked your brain in an attempt to remember how the hell you got here...the last thing you could remember was going to get dinner for yourself and the boys.
Sam and Dean's faces appeared in your mind and you strained to hear anything else in the room or surrounding area--seeking either of their voices or anything that might indicate they were near. To your dismay, it was completely silent, not a single sound disturbed the night. All you could hear was the sound of your own panicked heart beating and the deep breaths that accompanied it.
You knew the boys would be searching for you, but you had no idea how long you'd been missing or if there were any signs of where you'd gone. You could only hope they would find you before it was too late. You had a feeling the witch the three of you had been hunting had found you first--and there was no telling what they would do to you.
You tried in vain to get yourself out of the binds that secured your hands together, swearing under your breath as the actions were fruitless. The only thing you'd succeeded in doing was giving yourself rope burn on both wrists.
At some point during your struggle, another person had entered the room, but you didn't notice their presence until they spoke. "Glad to see you're awake."
Your head spun in the direction of the voice and a woman stepped out from the shadows with a dark smirk on her face. She was objectively quite beautiful, with sunshine blond hair and brilliant green eyes. Her eyes reminded you of Dean's emerald orbs--though her's lacked the spark that lived in Dean's.
"Who are you?" you asked angrily.
"My name is Camille, little hunter. I believe you've been looking for me."
Her voice had an odd melodic tone to it that bothered you in a way you couldn't quite explain. It made your brain both fuzzy and painfully clear at the same time--a combination you didn't care to ever experience again.
"You're the witch I've been hunting," you stated.
"Very good, little hunter."
"I do have a name, you know," you muttered, slightly annoyed at the nickname.
"My apologies, hunter. What is your name?"
"(Y/N)."
"(Y/N)," Camille repeated. "And are you here alone?"
Every instinct you had told you to lie, but when you opened your mouth, you were surprised when the truth spilled from your lips. "No, I am here with two other hunters."
Camille smiled cruelly as she observed the shocked expression on your face. "You'd intended to lie, hadn't you?"
That melodic tone had intensified and you struggled to form the words you wanted. "What are you doing to me?" you growled lowly.
Camille smirked again. "Teaching you not to lie, little hunter."
"Well stop," you insisted.
She laughed. "Sorry, little hunter. It's part of my charm." She paused, attention turning towards the door. "It appears we're no longer alone." She put her finger to her lips and faded back into the shadow.
You shifted your gaze to the door and began listening for sounds. You heard the telltale sound of boots hitting the floor and you knew in your heart it was Sam and Dean. Everything in you wanted to call out to them--to warn them--scream--something, but not a single sound escaped when you opened your mouth. Anger settled in your bones, hating your inability to warn your friends.
The doorknob began to turn slowly and you let out a soft whine--the most you could manage in the moment.
"(Y/N)?" Dean's voice whispered from the other side of the door.
You were relieved to hear his voice, but terrified of what would happen next. You wanted to respond, but words continued to escape you.
The door slowly opened to reveal Sam and Dean's concerned faces. They quickly scanned the room, eyes falling on your form in the center of the room.
"(Y/N/N)," Dean said, clearly relieved to see you unharmed.
He started to come towards you, but you shook your head, eyes wide and alert. You wanted to say something, needed to tell him the witch was here--they were all in danger.
"Hey, sweetheart. It's okay. We'll get you out of here," Dean whispered.
You shook your head again, but it was too late. As soon as Dean took a step towards you, Camille stepped forward and sent both him and Sam flying against the wall. She waved her hand and two chairs appeared beside yours, and with another wave, both men were seated in said chairs. Their arms were tied behind their chairs in similar fashion to yours before they could even register what was happening.
"I'm so glad you could join us," Camille said as she came farther into the room, fully revealing herself to the new arrivals.
Dean glared at her in annoyance. "I'm guessing you're the witch bitch we've been looking for."
She smiled. "Indeed I am. My name is Camille, and who do I have the pleasure of speaking to?"
"Dean Winchester," Dean forced out, a look of surprise on his face. "And this is my brother, Sam."
Camille smiled. "Oh I've heard of you--the great Winchesters. I'm honored to have made your list, though I'm afraid you won't be successful this time around."
"Don't be too sure about that," Sam stated, speaking for the first time.
"It appears I have the upper hand, little hunters, so save the ego for someone else."
"'Little hunters'?" Dean asked in annoyance.
"Don't let it bother you, she's been calling me that since I woke up," you muttered. "I think it brings her joy."
"It does bring me joy," Camille commented. "But what really makes me happy is having the three of you here to play with. This is going to be such fun."
You felt the anger rise within you once again and you struggled against your bindings--useless or not, you couldn't give up. You noticed both Sam and Dean were doing the same.
"What do you want with us?" Sam asked.
"Obviously I'm going to kill you," she answered. "But not just yet."
You closed your eyes, sadness washing over you. You didn't want to die, but you couldn't bear the thought of Dean dying. Not that you didn't care about Sam, but you cared for Dean very deeply--seeing him die would destroy you.
"You shouldn't have come," you whispered.
"What was that, little hunter?"
You turned your gaze to Dean, who was sitting directly to your left, with Sam on the other side of him. "Neither of you should have come."
Surprise lit up both men's faces, but it was Dean who spoke. "Did you really think we would leave you?"
You shook your head and sighed.
"Tell us, little hunter, why didn't you want them to save you?"
You made eye contact with Camille and felt the anger flare up again. You resisted answering her question directly, instead saying, "I don't want anything to happen to them."
Camille took a step closer to you. "You're strong willed, little hunter. Most people can't resist my charms--I have them spilling their deepest, darkest secrets within seconds."
You simply glared at her, not willing to give in to her bait.
"Come now, tell me the truth," Camille said softly. "Why didn't you want them to save you?"
The melodic tone of her voice threatened to crush you. It felt like someone was squeezing your insides every time you attempted to resist her demands--whenever you wanted to lie or avoid the truth.
"What the hell are you doing to her?" Dean yelled.
"She needs to be honest. I don't like being lied to."
The pain intensified, forcing the words from your lips, "I didn't want Dean to get hurt."
"That's better," Camille said smugly. "Just Dean? What about Sam? You don't care about him?"
"Of course I do," you insisted.
"Then why did you only mention Dean?"
You tried to resist--you didn't want to admit the truth, especially in front of Dean. You'd spent years hiding your feelings and you sure as hell didn't want to admit to anything in the presence of witnesses. "None of your business," you forced out painfully.
Camille's face lit up in surprise. "Very strong willed," she muttered. "You can't resist forever, little hunter."
Her voice made the pain you were experiencing almost unbearable. You could barely breathe and a gasp of pain escaped your lips.
"(Y/N), please," Dean begged, clearly worried about you.
Your resolve broke and the words slipped from your mouth without thought, "I care about him!" As soon as the words left your lips, the pain lifted, allowing you to catch your breath.
"See? Was that so hard?" Camille asked cruelly. "Who's next?" She looked at both men before stepping towards Sam. "Tell me, Samuel, why did you come to save (Y/N)?"
"Because she's family," Sam answered honestly.
His words warmed your heart and you shot a weak smile his way. You considered Sam and Dean family too--it was nice to know they felt the same, or at least Sam did. You couldn't look at Dean, you were too afraid of what you'd see on his face. You hadn't really admitted your feelings, but you were worried he knew you too well to miss the truth in your words.
"Boring," Camille muttered before turning her attention to Dean instead. "Your turn, handsome. Why did you come to save (Y/N)?"
Dean glared at her, but his face twitched slightly, belying the pain he was feeling. It took all his strength to force out the words, "What he said," while nodding his head in his brother's direction.
Camille laughed coldly. "Don't lie to me, Dean." She leaned forward and asked him again, but he continued to resist.
You forced yourself to look at him and you could see the pain in his eyes. He was desperately trying to keep himself from answering, but it was obvious he was losing the battle.
Camille frowned and leaned farther forward, grabbing his chin in her hand and forcing him to make eye contact with her. "Answer me, Dean. Why did you come to save (Y/N)?"
Dean struggled for a moment, jaw clenched in anger and frustration. Camille squeezed his jaw harshly and Dean groaned in pain. Just when you thought Camille was going to give up, Dean yelled his answer, shocking everyone present. "BECAUSE I LOVE HER!"
He was breathless as the words left his lips and Camille let go of his face, a smile gracing her pretty face. "Finally, a little honesty."
You were shocked into silence, unable to fully process his words and their meaning. Dean Winchester couldn't have possibly just admitted his feelings for you--there was no way.
Camille returned her attention to you, a dark smile on her face. "How does that make you feel, (Y/N)?"
You closed your eyes and didn't answer her question.
"You admitted you care about him, but do you love him too?"
You stayed silent, fighting her truth-forcing voice. It wasn't that you didn't want to admit your feelings--you just didn't want her to know. You didn't want her to use your love for Dean against you or him. So you resisted her charms and kept your mouth shut despite the pain.
"If I can force the great Dean Winchester to be honest, don't think for a second that I can't do the same to you, little hunter," Camille seethed.
Your eyes shot open and you glared at her, burning a hole in her soul. "No," you growled.
"No, you don't love him?"
You didn't respond.
"Or you think you can keep your feelings a secret?"
You still didn't respond.
Camille put her hands on the arms of your chair and leaned in, her face frighteningly close to yours. "Tell me the truth, or I'll kill him."
You didn't need to ask to know she was referring to Dean and not Sam. For a moment you considered calling her bluff, but the anger in her eyes told you she wasn't playing a game. She would kill him without hesitation.
You turned your head to look at Dean and found his gaze already on you. Terror was etched into his handsome features--terror for you. Your decision was made in an instant and you stopped fighting.
"I'm so sorry, Dean," you said, addressing the green-eyed hunter directly. "I know I promised you we would always be friends, but I don't think I can do that anymore. You see…I fell in love with you. I don't even know when it happened, it just--did."
Dean's beautiful green eyes betrayed his emotions, even if his face remained impassive. He'd spent the better part of the past two years wishing and hoping to hear you say those words to him. You could see the love reflected in his gaze and you knew his utterance hadn't been a heat of the moment thing--he'd meant it.
Camille's face remained close to yours as she laughed mockingly. "It's a pity you didn't admit your feelings sooner--perhaps you could have been together."
Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed Sam's hands slipping from the grasp of the ropes. In a split second, you made a decision that could either save your life or end it. You turned your attention back to Camille and slammed your forehead into her face with all of your strength.
Luckily, you'd caught the witch by surprise and she want sprawling backwards, clutching her nose and cursing angrily. Her attention remained on you as she started to recite a spell.
The pain that struck your body was unlike anything you'd ever felt before and you knew you were dying--if she had the opportunity to finish the spell, you would be gone.
Dean yelled your name and struggled with everything he had to free himself. Sam, on the other hand, had sprung up from his chair and lunged at Camille, sending her sprawling onto the floor. The two of them were struggling as Sam pulled a knife from inside his jacket.
Dean managed to get his hands out of the ropes and he quickly jumped into the fray to help his brother. Sam managed to slip the blade into Camille's chest--a scream of pain leaving her throat.
Knowing his brother had the situation under control, Dean turned his attention to you. You were breathing heavily, but were mostly unharmed. The effects of Camille's spell were dying with her, for which you were thankful.
Dean pulled out his own knife and cut the ropes that bound you. You instinctively wrapped your arms around his neck and fell against him. His arms wrapped around you and he held you close. "You okay, sweetheart?" he asked softly.
You lifted your head to look at him and nodded, tears filling your eyes.
He offered you a soft smile and brushed your hair from your face. "Let's get you out of here."
"Please," you muttered.
Dean helped you up and turned to look for his brother. Sam had just stood up, Camille's body lying dead on the floor beneath him. "She's gone. I'll take care of the body and we can get the hell out of here."
Dean nodded. "I'm gonna take (Y/N) back to the motel. She needs to rest."
"I'm fine, Dean--really," you insisted.
Dean shot you a glance. "You had it worse than either of us. You need to rest."
His voice was so firm, leaving no room for argument, so you threw your hands up in surrender.
Sam offered you a soft smile. "He's right, (Y/N). I'll meet you guys back at the motel when I'm done here."
"Call if you need anything," Dean said before escorting you from the room.
**********
The car ride back to the motel was completely silent--and not in the comfortable way. Neither of you knew what to say or where to begin. There was an awkwardness between you that you'd never had before and it only added to the pre-existing tension.
When you got into the motel room, you sat down on your bed with a sigh. Dean grabbed two beers from the fridge, handing one to you before taking a seat at the little table by the door.
The two of you began to drink your beers in silence, but it quickly became unbearable. "Dean, I think we should talk."
He looked at you for the first time since you'd gotten back to the motel. You could see the fear in his eyes and you realized he was worried you were going to tell him you didn't mean what you'd said--that you didn't love him.
You sat the beer on the side table and stood up. "Don't you think for a single moment that I didn't mean what I said, Dean Winchester. I meant it--every word. No witch can make me say something that isn't true...I've been in love with you for years."
His lips parted in surprise, eyes swimming with emotions. "I meant it too," he whispered as he stood up and stepped towards you. "I love you, (Y/N)--I think I always have."
Your lips curled up in a small smile. "This isn't how I'd planned on telling you."
"Had you planned on telling me?"
"No," you answered honestly. "I was scared."
"Me too," he said softly. "Terrified, actually."
"Of what?"
"I always assumed you wouldn't want me...you know me too well, (Y/N). You've seen me at my absolute worst and you know how damaged and broken I am. Why in the world would you choose to love me?"
"Okay, first of all, cut that self-loathing shit out. You don't get to do that with me. You're right--I do know you too well. I have seen you at your worst, but I've also seen you at your best. I know who you truly are and you're a damn hero, Dean. You inspire me every day. We face the shittiest things life can possibly throw at us and you always keep fighting--you never give up. You keep me going even when I want to give up. You're the most incredible man I have ever met and I am truly blessed to be loved by you."
He took three steps forward, stopping mere inches from you. His eyes were filled with love, which you were certain was reflected in your own. "I don't deserve you, baby, but I swear I will never stop trying to be worthy of your love."
You touched his cheek gently. "You don't have to try, Dean. I love you just as you are."
He smiled slowly, his eyes lighting up as his gaze scanned your face. "Anyone ever tell you you look like a goddess?"
You laughed lightly. "You'd be the first."
He gave you an adorable lopsided grin, as his arm snaked around your waist and tugged you closer. He leaned down and pressed his lips against yours and you melted into him, a soft moan escaping against his lips.
His tongue brushed gently against your lips, which you parted to allow him entry. He tasted like mint and beer and something just distinctly Dean.
You slipped your hands into his jacket and pushed it off his shoulders, before doing the same with his flannel. His gentle, calloused hands slid under your shirt and pushed it upwards. You broke the kiss long enough to allow him to take off your shirt and his own before connecting your lips again.
You reveled in the feeling of his warm, strong chest against yours. His skin was soft and smooth as you ran your hands over the taunt muscles of his back.
His hands slipped lower, caressing your ass, fingers digging in as he tugged you closer to him. You could feel his bulge pressing into your lower belly and you were suddenly desperate to feel him--really feel him.
You tugged on his belt, undoing it quickly then shifting to the button on his jeans. He helped you remove his jeans and you took the opportunity to remove yours as well. As soon as you were both mostly naked, Dean grabbed you and dragged you to the bed, tossing you onto it and crawling on top of you.
His hungry lips attacked yours again, hands roaming any part of you he could reach. "God, your skin is so soft, baby," he whispered.
You didn't have the opportunity to respond as Dean's lips found the sweet spot on your neck--the one that always drove you wild. You had no idea how he knew where to kiss, but you didn't have it in you to ask. The soft moans that left your lips told him how much you were enjoying the feeling of his lips against your skin--and he had no intention of stopping.
His hand slipped behind your back and tugged at the clasp of your bra. You arched your back to give him better access and he made quick work of the undergarment, tugging it off and throwing it across the room. He groaned softly as he gazed at your exposed breasts. "I think it would be best if you never wore a bra again," he mumbled.
Your soft chuckle turned to moans of pleasure as his lips attached to your nipple and his hands began to gently kneed your supple flesh. Your fingers wound themselves into his short hair and you sighed happily, enjoying the feeling of his hands on you.
His mouth continued its trail downward, placing open mouthed kisses to your skin. He nipped at the softer parts of your body, eliciting gasps and moans of enjoyment.
He smirked against your skin, enjoying the sounds you made for him. He pressed his lips to your core, teasing you with his lips and tongue before finally slipping his tongue between your folds. He growled lowly, burying his face deeply between your thighs.
"Dean," you gasped, fingers twisting into his hair.
"You taste like fucking heaven," he murmured, lifting his head just enough to get the words out before diving back in.
You'd had sex plenty of times before, but never in your life had you been eaten out like this--Dean Winchester was a master--a genius--with his mouth.
"Fuck--Dean, please!" you cried.
He seemed to know what you needed, reading your body like a book. He slid two fingers inside of you and began to gently press them into your most sensitive spot, drag them along your walls, and do it again on repeat.
His mouth focused on your clit while his fingers continued to stroke your walls. He could feel you getting close--your pussy was squeezing his fingers and your thighs had begun to tighten around his head.
Your fingertips scratched against his scalp and you ground yourself down against his mouth, chasing your impending orgasm. Dean tightened his grip on your hips, holding you in place. Your moans increased in volume as you suddenly fell over the edge.
Your legs began to shake as wave after wave of pleasure washed over you. Dean continued his ministrations, not wanting to stop until you forcefully tugged his hair to get him off.
"Sensitive, baby," you whimpered.
Dean gave your pussy a few more kitten licks before relenting and allowing you to pull him up. He licked his lips happily, a smirk gracing his handsome face.
He crawled back up your body, kissing your skin as he moved. When his lips finally pressed against yours again, his cock brushed against your core, earning a sharp inhale from both of you.
"I wanted to take my time with you, sweetheart, but I need to be inside of you immediately."
You chuckled lightly. "I'm certainly not going to complain."
He grinned and flipped over onto his back, dragging you with him so you were now straddling his thighs.
"Dean!" you giggled as he manhandled you.
"I thought you'd want to ride me," he teased.
"Oh did you now?"
"Since you like to be in control and all."
"Just because I tell you what to do, doesn't mean I want to be in control in bed, Dean."
"So you don't wanna be on top?" he asked. "Cuz I can roll you back over, pretty girl."
You pressed both hands down on his chest to keep him in place. "Now, I didn't say that..."
He grinned. "That's what I thought."
"But if you're gonna give me control, I want complete control."
He looked a little worried for a moment before nodding slowly.
"Hey," you said softly. "If you don't want to, it's okay."
"No, no--I want to," he insisted. "I'm just...not used to it."
"If you want me to stop or you don't like something I'm doing, just tell me, okay?"
He nodded and squeezed your hips affectionately. "I trust you."
You smiled and leaned down to kiss him. "Put your arms above your head."
He did as you asked and waited for your next command.
"Hold on to the headboard, handsome," you ordered. "And do not move them, understand?"
He nodded.
You grabbed his jaw and held it tightly. "Words, Dean."
His eyes widened in surprise, but you noticed the dark lustful look in them. "Yes ma'am," he whispered.
"Good boy." You sat back up and slid back so you were straddling his thighs. You dragged your fingers down his chest, nails scratching gently against his skin.
He groaned softly, clearly enjoying the sensation.
You smiled, pleased to see he liked what you were doing. You lowered your head to lick a stripe up his painfully hard cock. You twirled your tongue slowly around the head, eliciting a moan of pleasure from Dean.
You smirked before dropping your head to take him into your mouth as deeply as you could.
"Oh--fuck--" he groaned.
Your head was bobbing up and down, sucking his cock like your life depended on it. You relaxed your throat, allowing him to slip farther in. You constricted your throat around him and continued to use your tongue to pleasure him.
"Holy--" Dean squirmed beneath you. "Feels so good, baby."
You moaned, the vibrations sending a wave of pleasure through his entire body.
"Jesus, baby." He was dying to tangle his fingers in your hair, but he didn't want to disobey your order. "I can't--baby, I need you to stop or I'm gonna cum."
You moaned in disappointment, but you lifted your head off of him and moved to straddle his hips. You gently rubbed your core against his cock, and his hips thrust upwards in an attempt to seek more friction.
"Uh-uh, no moving," you ordered.
"But, I--"
"No moving, Dean. Keep your hands where they are and keep those hips on the bed."
"Yes ma'am," he mumbled.
You smiled softly and stroked his cheek affectionately. "I'll let you know when you can move."
You grabbed his cock and lined it up with your core before sinking down on it in one fluid motion. You both groaned in pleasure at the feeling--your pussy stretched to the absolute max.
You took a deep breath before beginning to move your hips, grinding against him and twisting your hips in a circle.
As you moved, your hands traveled up your body to your neck. From there, you slowly moved both hands down your body, stopping to massage your breasts. You played with your nipples as you watched Dean, his eyes glued to your motions.
You moaned softly, tossing your head back in pleasure. You loved seeing him struggling to keep control of himself beneath you. You smirked at the way he was white knuckling the headboard, obviously desperate to touch you, but afraid to disobey you.
"You're doing so good for me, baby," you murmured.
He whimpered softly as he watched you.
You moved your hands down your stomach, allowing one to slip between your legs to gently massage your clit. The other hand traveled back to your breasts to toy with them.
"Fuck, baby," Dean whispered. "Let me touch you."
"Not yet."
He groaned and squeezed the headboard tighter.
You smiled as you began to move up and down, gathering speed as you did so.
"Please," Dean begged. "Please, baby--I wanna touch you."
"I know you do, handsome, but you can't yet."
He whimpered softly and shifted his hips. You could feel the desperation seeping from him, but you knew the longer you held him off, the better it would feel for the both of you when he finally did touch you.
You continued your movements, but you placed both of your hands on his chest, touching and teasing him with your soft fingers.
He groaned in frustration and desperation. "Baby," he begged again. "Please."
You leaned forward and brushed your lips against his, pulling back when he tried to return the kiss. He chased after your lips, whimpering when you sat back up.
"How badly do you wanna touch me?"
"I would do anything, (Y/N)."
You smirked. "Do you need to touch me?"
He looked almost pained as he stared into your eyes. "I need it so badly, baby. Please, (Y/N/N). Please just let me touch you."
Your expression softened and you decided to take pity on him, so you leaned forward, brushing your lips against his ear. "Touch me, Dean."
In an instant, his hands left the headboard and grabbed you tightly, pulling you to him as he began to thrust up into you.
You gasped in surprise and pleasure.
He pressed his feet into the mattress and began to thrust up into you with force. He was holding you tightly to keep you in place, his teeth nipping at your neck and shoulder as he moved.
You were at a loss for words--the pleasure so overwhelming you couldn't breathe, let alone think.
"Fuck, I need to see you," he groaned as he flipped you onto your back and hovered over you. He grabbed your legs and lifted them up, putting one on either side of his head as he continued to thrust into you.
This new angle made your legs shake and you cried out, screaming his name repeatedly as he pumped into you.
"That's it baby, tell everyone who's fucking you--let them know who makes you feel good."
Your orgasm hit you so suddenly it shocked you. You screamed again as you came with force.
Dean didn't stop, he wanted more from you and he would give anything to see you come undone again.
"It's too much!" you whimpered.
"Do you want me to stop, baby?"
You didn't respond, barely able to speak.
"Come on, sweetheart. Do you want me to stop?"
"Don't stop!" you gasped.
He grinned. "I won't, baby."
He slipped a hand between your legs and began to slowly circle your clit, applying just a little pressure in time with your moans.
The pleasure you were experiencing was so incredible--it was unlike anything you'd ever even imagined. The sounds coming from your mouth would have been embarrassing in any other context, but you couldn't be bothered to care.
As for Dean, he was loving the sounds you made and the way you looked beneath him. He was using every ounce of his self-control not to cum, but his control was waning.
Another orgasm hit you--once again shocking you both with its suddenness and intensity. You screamed his name as you came harshly.
Dean finally allowed your legs to drop and he leaned forward, caging you beneath him as he began to chase his own high. He was already close--and you could tell.
"Don't cum until I say," you whispered.
His eyes widened. "Baby--I don't think I can hold off--"
"Yes you can, Dean. Do it for me."
He groaned softly, but nodded his agreement. He kissed you passionately, which you returned in kind. You wrapped your arms and legs around him, pulling him as close to you as you could.
"I don't know how much longer I can wait," he murmured.
"You can do it, baby. You're doing so good for me."
He dug his fingers into the sheets on either side of your head and focused entirely on not cumming until you gave him permission.
You waited a few more moments before giving him the command he was desperate for, "Cum for me."
"Fuck, (Y/N)," he groaned loudly, spilling inside of you. His whole body was shaking as he continued to fill you up, gasps and moans slipping from his lips into your skin.
Finally, he collapsed on top of you, breathing heavily as he came down. You ran your fingers down his back in a gentle, affectionate manner. You loved the feeling of his large body laying on top of you, hard and warm against your soft skin.
"Never thought I'd feel like this," Dean mumbled into your neck.
"What do you mean?"
"I didn't know sex could be this good. You're fucking incredible, baby."
You chuckled lightly. "Right back at you, handsome."
He groaned as he slowly rolled off of you. "I don't think I can move more than that."
You laughed. "I can't feel my legs, so I can't help you."
"God, I love hearing you say that."
"I love you," you said warmly.
He turned his head to look at you. "I love you too, baby."
You smiled at him and he surprised you by grabbing your hand and lifting it to his lips. He placed a soft kiss against it and then laid your hand and his on his chest.
"Who knew Dean Winchester could be so submissive," you teased.
"Only for you, sweetheart. Anyone else asks and it'd be a hard no. You're the only one that gets to see my sweet, sensitive side."
"Wait--you have a sweet, sensitive side?"
He glared at you and you laughed warmly.
"You're the sweetest, most sensitive man I know." You managed to roll onto your side so you could kiss him affectionately.
"Don't tell anyone," he whispered. "I have a reputation to maintain."
"Don't worry, Winchester. Your secret's safe with me."
He smiled warmly and tugged you close to him. "Would you judge me if I just passed out?"
You chuckled softly. "As long as you don't mind me passing out too."
"So what you're saying is, you wanna sleep with me?"
You laughed. "I would love to sleep with you, Dean."
He grinned and kissed the top of your head. "How'd I get to be so lucky?"
"Something about a witch with truth serum powers."
He chuckled. "Who knew I'd be thankful for witchy mojo?"
You smiled and curled up into his side, sighing contentedly. "Goodnight, Dean," you whispered.
"Goodnight, beautiful. I love you."
"Love you too," you mumbled, already drifting off to a peaceful sleep in the arm's of the only man you've ever truly loved.
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fatecantstopme · 2 months
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Pairing: Dean Winchester x plus size!reader
Summary: Enemies to lovers…the three times you and Dean/Sam work together and the final time when everything changes
Warnings: canon violence, cursing, use of pet names, body shaming, mentions of injuries and wound care. SMUT, face sitting, oral (F receiving) unprotected sex (P in V).
A/N: y'all I'm sorry, but I made Dean a total asshole for the beginning part of this. I had to for the storyline...don't hate me, it's got a GREAT ending.
You'd been hunting for close to five years when you first met Sam and Dean Winchester. The three of you happened to be working the same case in a small town in Ohio.
You and Sam hit it off instantly, but Dean was much more closed off and stand-offish. In fact, he was down-right rude most of the time. He made it very clear he didn't like you, nor did he want your help with the case.
Sam tried to get Dean to be a little more friendly, but it didn't matter what he did, Dean was not a fan of you and he showed it.
"If this wasn't an entire nest of vampires, I would be absolutely fine walking away from this," you said to Dean. "But I'm not about to let the two of you go in there alone."
"We don't need your help," Dean snapped.
"Well you've got it, so suck it up."
Sam stepped in. "Why don't we all just calm down."
"Shut up, Sam!" you and Dean yelled at the same time.
Sam threw up his hands and stepped back. He didn't wanna argue with either of you.
"I don't need help from some geek who probably can't even fight," Dean hissed.
"What's that supposed to mean? I'm a damn good fighter, Winchester," you growled.
Dean looked you up and down with disdain. It was very clear where his brain went and you did not appreciate his assumptions. Maybe you didn't really look like a traditional hunter, but you were good at it.
"No offense, (Y/N), but you don't exactly inspire confidence in your fighting abilities."
You took a deep breath and tried not to lash out. "You're an asshole, Dean Winchester, and honestly I don't care what happens to you, but your brother is a good person. You might both be amazing hunters, but I'm not letting Sam go in there without more than just you for backup."
Sam cut in before Dean could respond. "I agree with (Y/N), Dean. She's coming with us."
Dean shot his brother a dark glare, but Sam didn't back down. "You know what? Fine. If she dies, it's her fault."
"Fine with me," you snapped back at him.
Dean stomped out of the motel room, leaving you and Sam alone.
"I'm sorry about him," Sam said softly. "He's been different since Dad died."
You shook your head. "Don't apologize for him, Sam. I'm just worried his head isn't in the game and it's gonna get you killed."
Sam sighed. "I know. I'm worried about him too."
You let out a long sigh. "The only thing we can do is hope we all make it out of this alive."
Sam nodded his agreement. "Let's go before he gets even more annoyed."
You grabbed your gear and headed out the door after Sam.
As you'd predicted, clearing out the vampire nest required all three of you. By the time the last vamp fell to the ground--headless--you had more than proven yourself. Or at least, that's what you thought.
Sam, ever the gentleman, was extremely grateful for your help. "We couldn't have done it without you," he commented.
You were about to reply when Dean let out a rude scoff. You turned your attention to him with narrowed eyes. "Got something you wanna say, Winchester?"
He glared at you. "We would have been just fine without you."
"You know what? Screw you. If you wanna make terrible decisions that might get you killed, go for it, but don't drag your brother down with you."
Dean looked like he wanted to say more, but you'd stormed off in the direction of your car. You wanted to get back to the motel, shower, and go to bed. You needed to be on the road in the morning--on your way to another case.
Once you were out of earshot, Sam snapped at his brother. "Dude, what the hell has gotten into you?"
"What? You got the hots for the fat chick?"
"Don't talk about her like that, it's incredibly demeaning. Besides, she more than proved herself tonight."
"Whatever. Let's just get the hell out of here."
The next morning, you said your goodbyes to Sam, offering him your assistance in the future should he ever need it. You didn't bother to address Dean, knowing it was unlikely he would even respond.
Once you hit the highway, your mind began to focus on your next case--leaving the Winchester boys far behind.
**********
It had been close to 6 months since the hunt with Sam and Dean, and you were surprised to get a call from Sam requesting your assistance on another case.
"We think it's demonic omens," Sam explained.
You sighed. "How bad we talking?"
"We're not sure, but we could really use your help."
"Did you clear it with your brother?"
There was a long pause on the other end of the line that told you everything you needed to know.
"Sam..."
"Look, I didn't say anything to him, but even he admitted we needed to call for help."
You sighed again, running your fingers through your hair. "Fine, but only because you asked."
"Thank you, (Y/N). I really appreciate it."
You hung up the phone and packed your bag to head to the middle of nowhere Oklahoma.
You didn't often meet people you didn't get along with, but Dean Winchester was certainly one of those people. You hated him and he quite obviously hated you. You weren't sure what it was about you he disliked so much, but you didn't appreciate the way he treated you.
There was something in the way he looked at you--disdain or disgust, you weren't sure, but you'd seen it in other men's eyes. You knew what it was...it was a judgment you'd seen a thousand times before. You'd struggled with your weight your whole life and some men (and women too) had the tendency to judge you based on your physical appearance.
It didn't help that you were a woman in a very male-dominated job. Male hunters had the tendency to judge you with a single look. It didn't matter that you were smart and capable--that you were a great hunter in your own right. All they saw was the outside and that was all they needed to decide what you could do--what you were capable of.
Unfortunately, Dean Winchester was apparently one of those hunters. Sam clearly saw there was more to you than appearances and you appreciated being given the benefit of the doubt. Sam had given you the chance to prove yourself and you'd done so, but that didn't seem to change Dean's perception of you.
You'd be lying if you said it didn't hurt more because of who he was. Dean Winchester was a well-known figure in the hunting community, as were his father and brother. You knew he was a truly amazing hunter and part of you craved his approval. There was also something to be said about the way he looked...the man was gorgeous in an almost offensive way. You couldn't stop yourself from noticing, but you were painfully aware he did not find you attractive. As stupid as it might sound, his disdain hurt you deeply.
You sighed as you stared out the windshield at the road ahead of you. You didn't want to focus on the negative, especially when you were on your way to face what appeared to be several demons. You needed to be on your A-game...you'd be damned if you let yourself get distracted by a mere man.
Several hours later, you pulled into the parking lot of the motel the Winchesters were staying at. You went up to the motel room door and knocked, sending up a silent prayer that Sam would be the one to answer the door.
Someone must have been looking down on you favorably, because moments later, the door swung open to reveal Sam Winchester. "Thanks for coming, (Y/N)."
You smiled at him. "Of course. You call, I come."
Sam gestured for you to come in. "Dean's out getting food."
"Oh." You didn't know what else to say--part of you wished he was here so you could just get it over with, but another part of you was glad to prolong the inevitable for a little while.
"He'll be back soon," Sam said lamely.
"Okay. Should I get a room then?"
Sam shook his head. "You can have my bed. I'll sleep on the couch."
"That's absurd, you're significantly taller than me. I'll take the couch or get my own room."
"There are no more rooms," Sam said with a shrug. "So take the bed, please. I'll feel like an asshole if you sleep on the couch."
You chuckled lightly and tossed your bag onto the bed nearest the door. "Alright, fine. I wouldn't want to offend your gentlemanly sensibilities," you teased.
He smiled, but before he could respond, the door swung open and the elder Winchester walked through carrying a bag of diner food.
You swallowed thickly, hoping he wouldn't have anything nasty to say right away.
Unfortunately, it seemed your luck had run out. "What's she doing here?" Dean asked in annoyance.
"She's here to help," Sam answered.
Dean threw the bag of food on the table. "I'm sorry--when I told you to call for backup, this is who you called?"
"She was available and she's more than capable," Sam argued.
"I don't give a damn. You should have called someone else. She'll get herself killed--or one of us."
"She has a name," you snapped. "And she's right here."
Dean turned his attention to you and you could see the fiery anger in his gaze. You didn't understand what about you made him so angry, but he certainly didn't give you a chance to ask.
"Have you ever even faced a demon, (Y/N)?" The way he emphasized your name was dripping with condescension.
"Actually, I have. More than once."
A flash of surprise crossed his face, but was gone quickly. "How many people died when you did?"
"One," you answered, trying to keep your voice level. "The innocent woman some demon scum was wearing."
"Were you alone?"
"Every time."
If you'd expected Dean to be impressed, you'd have been sorely mistaken. "This will be a hundred times worse. Half this town is demon-infested and countless people will die. Can you handle that?"
"It's the job," you answered as calmly as you could.
Dean regarded you quietly for a moment, before seeming to accept your answer. "Don't get us killed." He turned away from you and sat down at the table to eat his dinner, ignoring you once more.
You glanced over at Sam who looked extremely uncomfortable, but he didn't comment on anything that had been said. Instead he asked his brother if he'd gotten enough food to share with you too.
Before you were able to say you'd already eaten dinner, Dean made an offhand comment that struck a nerve.
"I don't think we have enough food for her even if you and I don't eat."
Sam gasped. "Dean!"
You froze for a moment, tears pressing against your eyes, but you didn't dare shed them. You pushed your emotions down and took a deep breath. "I actually already ate."
"Thank god," Dean mumbled.
"That's it!" you snapped. "What the hell is your problem with me, Winchester?"
He looked up at you with an annoyed glare. "I don't like you and I don't trust you."
"I don't care for you either, but that doesn't mean you have to treat me like shit. I haven't insulted you a single time, but you've managed to insult me several times from the moment we met. Either shut the hell up or I'll be forced to fight fire with fire."
He raised a single eyebrow at you, but he didn't say a single word. You were surprised at his silence, but you were done with the conversation. "I'm going to shower."
As soon as the bathroom door closed, Sam threw a wrapper at Dean. "What the hell, man?"
Dean shrugged. "What? I don't like her."
"What the hell did she ever do to you?"
"She didn't have to do anything. I just don't like her."
"Fine, but don't treat her like that," Sam requested. "She doesn't deserve your animosity...and you're better than this."
Dean didn't comment one way or the other, his silence signaling the end of the conversation.
"That was incredibly stupid of you!" Dean yelled.
"Oh fuck off, Winchester!" you yelled back. "You'd be dead if I hadn't!"
"I didn't ask you to save me!"
The argument was a waste of breath, but Dean didn't want to let it go and neither did you. You'd saved Dean's life during a fight with a demon and it put your own life at great risk.
"A simple 'thank you' would suffice," you growled.
"You could have gotten Sammy killed, you idiot! He had to save your stupid ass because you wanted to play the hero!"
"Dean, that's not--" Sam began.
"Why can't you just be thankful you're not dead?!" you snapped. "And neither is your brother, for that matter!"
Dean's eyes were filled with a rage so dark it frightened you. "I don't understand how you've managed to survive this long on your own, but I doubt it'll last much longer if you keep pulling stupid stunts like that."
You'd managed to regain control of your temper, so you bit your lip to keep from yelling at him again. "You know what? I'm done. Don't ask for my help again."
"(Y/N) wait--" Sam called.
"No, Sam. I'm done. I can't put up with his attitude and you know what? I don't have to. Please don't call me again unless you're hunting alone."
You walked away from both men, fully expecting to never see either one of them again.
**********
Fate, of course, had other plans. One year later, almost to the day, you saved Sam Winchester's life...
You'd been working a case in a small town in Texas and you'd heard rumblings of a missing FBI agent who had been doing research in the town a couple days before you'd arrived.
You knew it was unlikely a real FBI agent had been conducting an investigation here...the events that had led you here clearly indicated the presence of a witch--a damn powerful one at that. As such, it was clear to you a hunter pretending to be FBI had been on the case before you.
You quickly put the pieces together and realized the witch you were hunting had likely kidnapped the other hunter and was doing god only knows what to him.
The more people you talked to, the more certain you were that the missing hunter/FBI agent was none other than Sam Winchester. All of the descriptions people gave you sounded exactly like him.
You tried calling his cell phone several times, but he didn't answer. You didn't want to place the next call, but you didn't see another option. You pressed his name in the phone and put it to your ear.
"Why are you calling me?" Dean's voice asked from the other end of the line.
"Do you know where your brother is?"
"I haven't spoken to him in a while."
"So that's a no?"
You heard him swear under his breath. "Why does it matter, (Y/N)?" he snapped.
"I'm hunting a witch that I think your brother was also hunting. He's missing."
"What do you mean, missing?"
"I mean no one in town has seen him in two days."
Dean was silent for a moment. "Where are you?"
"Lockhart, Texas."
"I'll be there by tomorrow morning."
He hung up without saying anything else, leaving you alone with your worry.
You knew you didn't have time to wait for Dean's arrival. You needed to find Sam...witches were no joke. You'd never forgive yourself if he died because you waited.
You started diving into your research, trying to identify the witch. This is what you were good at, but the added pressure of finding Sam clouded your brain.
You took a deep breath and tried to clear your head. You needed to focus--Sam needed you.
You turned your attention back to your work and noticed you had more clarity. Before you knew it, four hours had passed. You felt like you were no closer to finding this witch than you had been that morning.
You were about ready to give up for a while when you noticed something you'd missed before. You started flipping through the pages you had on the table in front of you and gasped softly. "Her," you mumbled, underlining the name on the page.
You quickly looked up the woman's address and within minutes, you were rushing out the door, on your way to--hopefully--save your friend.
When you pulled up in front of the house, every instinct you had told you you were in the right place. You couldn't explain why, but you just knew this was it.
You double checked your weapons before getting out of the car and making your way around the back of the house as quickly and quietly as possible.
You manage to get into the house without notifying the occupant and began creeping your way through the house, checking each room for signs of Sam or the witch.
You knew there was no basement in the house--Texas homes don't have basements--so there were a limited number of places Sam could be.
You'd cleared the first floor and slowly made your way up to the second floor. As you neared the first room, you heard two voices talking from farther down the hallway.
You immediately made your way towards the voices, moving slowly so as to not make any sound. As you got closer, you heard a female voice followed by a male voice you instantly recognized--Sam.
You continued on quietly until you reached the door. You listened closely, trying to make out what was being said.
"All you have to do," the female voice said, "is tell me who else you're working with."
"I told you," Sam's voice said angrily, "I'm working alone."
"Then why is there a woman looking for you?"
"A woman?" Sam's voice was laced with confusion.
"She's been asking around town about you."
"I don't know what you're talking about."
Sam cried out in pain and you nearly barged through the door on instinct. You controlled yourself, continuing to remain motionless while listening.
"Samuel...stop lying to me. Who is the woman?"
"I don't know," he insisted before crying out in pain again.
After a few moments, Sam spoke again, slightly breathless. "Look, if you're gonna kill me, just do it. I have nothing more to say to you."
The witch laughed darkly. "Perhaps you're right. You're of no use to me anymore."
Sam yelled in pain and you knew it was time to act. You swung the door open and entered the room with your gun pointed ahead of you. Your eyes quickly scanned the room, landing on Sam, who was sitting in the center of the room, arms tied to a chair. Your gaze next landed on the witch who was in the middle of chanting some sort of spell.
It took you less than a second to decide what to do, and that second was all you needed. You pulled the trigger and watched the bullet strike the witch's chest. She looked shocked, eyes locked on your face as she fell to her knees. Her gaze never left you as she took her final breath, now nothing but an empty vessel on the floor.
You ran over to Sam, taking in his injuries quickly. Seeing nothing of immediate concern you started to cut his bindings.
"(Y/N)?" he asked. "What are you doing here?"
"Hunting a witch, obviously."
He chuckled lightly. "But how did you find me?"
"A little bit of skill and a whole lot of luck."
"Somehow I doubt that," he said softly.
Your eyes met his as you cut the final rope. You offered him a small smile, but remained silent.
"Seriously, (Y/N). Thank you."
You shrugged. "You would have done the same for me."
"I didn't think I'd ever see you again after last time," he admitted.
"Honestly, I didn't either," you whispered. "But when I realized you were here, I knew I couldn't leave you. I, uh--I called Dean."
Sam's eyes widened in shock. "You did what?!"
"I was worried about you and you weren't answering your phone, so I called him. I hoped he'd know where you were."
Sam sighed. "We actually haven't been hunting together for a while."
You nodded. "He mentioned that...but he's--um, well he's on his way."
"Great," he mumbled. "Come on, let's get out of here."
"I'm sorry," you said softly. "I didn't know."
"It's fine, (Y/N). You didn't know."
Unsurprisingly, Sam was staying at the same motel as you, so you drove him back. Once you arrived, you helped him out of his shirt and began to clean his wounds. Several of them were deep enough to require stitches, but there didn't appear to be anything life threatening.
"You're very lucky," you muttered.
Sam grabbed your hand, stopping you in the middle of a stitch. "It wasn't luck, (Y/N/N). You saved my life."
You sighed quietly and continued sewing his skin back together.
"I'm serious. I owe you my life."
"You don't owe me anything."
"I do. I guess both of us do now."
"What?"
"You saved Dean's life last year. He might have behaved like an ass, but he owes you his life as much as I owe you mine."
You finished the stitch and moved on to the next cut. "We're hunters, Sam. It's what we do."
"Doesn't mean I'm not grateful."
You offered him a soft smile. "Well then, you're welcome."
After about 30 minutes of constant wound care, you'd managed to clean and stitch up all his cuts. He'd been awake for almost 2 days at this point and just wanted a shower and some sleep.
He agreed to take a shower while you ran out and got some food that you practically forced him to eat before he collapsed on the bed, sound asleep within seconds.
You ate your dinner quietly, watching the large man sleep. You were incredibly glad you'd managed to save him--it would have haunted you forever if you'd been too late.
Eventually, you crawled into the other bed and passed out, forgetting for a moment that Dean Winchester was still on his way to Lockhart in search of his brother.
Early the next morning, you were awoken by loud, insistent knocking on the motel door. You dragged yourself out of bed, muttering under your breath as you made your way over to the door.
"Calm down, I'm coming," you hissed quietly. You looked through the peep hole and saw a slightly disheveled Dean Winchester standing on the other side.
You opened the door and he practically ran into the room, eyes searching the space for his brother. His gaze finally landed on Sam's sleeping form and his whole body instantly relaxed. Sam was peacefully still--exhaustion keeping him asleep.
You walked over to Dean and tentatively touched his arm to jostle him out of his trance. "He's alright," you murmured.
Dean shook his head to clear it and turned to you. "What?"
"Sam's okay," you repeated. "Just some cuts and bruises, but he'll live."
"What happened?"
You explained what had happened and how you'd identified the witch and found Sam.
"You saved his life," Dean whispered.
"He would have done the same for me."
"Still...you didn't have to, but you did it anyway. Thank you."
"You don't need to thank me."
"Yeah," Dean mumbled. "I do."
You were both silent for a moment before Dean continued talking.
"Sam and I--well, we haven't been talking lately. I--I would have been devastated if something happened to him before I could apologize. I was mad and stupid and I said things I didn't mean...but he's still my brother. I can't lose him."
For the first time since you met him, you saw something more to Dean Winchester--something beneath the facade. It was obvious he truly loved his brother and in this moment he was showing a rare piece of humanity that shocked you. Maybe beneath the gruff, rude exterior, there was something genuinely good.
"Why don't you get some sleep," you said softly. "I'm sure you're tired from your drive and Sam will want to see you in the morning."
Dean turned his gaze back to you. "Thanks...I--uh, I am kinda tired." His face told you he wanted to say more, but he couldn't find the words.
Your expression softened. "I'll take the couch. Don't worry about it."
He shook his head immediately. "No, go back to sleep. I'll take the couch."
You decided not to argue, instead crawling into bed and falling asleep quickly. Something about Dean's presence made you feel safe.
The next morning, you awoke to the sound of voices in the room. As you oriented yourself, you realized it was Sam and Dean talking quietly across the room. You remained quiet and still, ears listening to the discussion.
It was clear they'd been talking for a while and the conversation had turned to the current situation.
"I can't believe she saved you," Dean whispered.
"Neither can I, to be honest. I don't even know how she found me. She said it was mostly luck."
"A year ago, I would have agreed with that," Dean stated. "But now? She's saved both of our lives--I have to admit she's a damn good hunter."
A small smile played on your lips and you were glad they couldn't see your face from their angle.
"That's a lot coming from you," Sam said in surprise. "What changed?"
"Honestly? Me," Dean answered. "A lot has happened in the last 6 months Sammy. I've taken the time away to really get my shit together. I was just so damn empty and I was taking it out on everyone, including you. But I've said some terrible things to (Y/N) and I don't know how to apologize. Hell, I don't even know if she'd want me to apologize. I treated her terribly and I wouldn't be surprised if she hated me."
"I'm pretty sure she does," Sam said softly. "But that doesn't mean you shouldn't apologize or you can't fix it. You owe her your life as much as I do...that should mean something."
"I know," Dean admitted. "I've been such an asshole to her. I don't even think I deserve her forgiveness."
"It's worth a shot, Dean."
You couldn't see Dean's face, but you could hear the emotion in his voice. It made you think he truly meant what he was saying. Before this moment, you wouldn't have even considered listening to a word this man had to say to you...but now you felt like you owed it to him--or maybe yourself--to hear him out, should he choose to apologize.
You'd gotten out of bed not long after overhearing Sam and Dean's conversation. After a nice shower, you were getting your things together to head back out onto the road--onto your next hunt.
"I'm gonna grab some breakfast," Sam called out. "You guys want me to bring you something?"
"Coffee and a breakfast sandwich, please," you said in response.
"Coffee and an absurd amount of bacon," Dean added.
Sam groaned. "You are so gonna have a heart attack."
"I'm not gonna live long enough for that, Sammy, so don't worry about me. Bacon is worth it."
You chuckled softly and Dean shot you a look. When he noticed the soft smirk on your face, he smiled in return. "I think (Y/N) agrees."
Sam sighed. "Whatever--I'll be back in a while."
You waved at Sam's back before returning your attention to your duffle. You threw your last couple items into it before zipping it up.
"So..." Dean said awkwardly from behind you.
You sighed heavily before turning to face him. "Yes?"
"I...I, um--fuck," he muttered. "I owe you an apology."
You folded your arms across your chest. "Go on."
You'd never seen him look so uncomfortable and a part of you was happy about it. You felt bad for feeling that way, but after everything Dean had said and done to you since you'd met, he more than deserved it.
"I've been a major asshole."
You nodded your agreement.
He had the grace to look embarrassed. "I've said some truly horrible things to you and uh--about you. Things I never should have thought, let alone said aloud."
He fell silent and waited for a moment as if he was hoping you would disagree.
"Is that all?"
He exhaled slowly. "Look, you saved my life and I treated you like shit--then you go and save my brother's life even after everything I've done."
"I didn't do it for you."
"No--no, I know. I just...I suck at apologies."
You chuckled lightly. "A bit, yeah."
"What I'm trying to say is--I was wrong. I was wrong about everything. I was wrong to treat you the way I did and I'm so fucking sorry, (Y/N). I'm sorry I hurt you and I'm sorry I was such an asshole. I don't have a good excuse--I was broken and hurting and I chose to take it out on everyone around me. I'm not trying to excuse what I did--I just want you to know that I'm not usually like that. I've spent the last year trying to find myself again and I'm closer than I've ever been. But, umm that's not the point--it's not about me. I--fuck--I'm just so goddamn sorry, (Y/N)."
You offered him a small smile. "I genuinely appreciate your apology, Winchester. Especially because I can see how difficult it was for you to do it."
He looked relieved. "I'm not good at this sort of thing."
"It's okay. You got your point across."
"Oh, one more thing."
"Hmm?"
"You're a damn good hunter."
You smiled genuinely for the first time and Dean couldn't help but notice how it lit up your whole face. Your smile was contagious--and he found himself returning the expression.
Before you could thank him, Sam came back with breakfast.
"Am I interrupting?" Sam asked.
"No, we're good," Dean answered.
Sam looked at you and you nodded. He looked relieved, but he didn't comment on the situation.
Dean's stomach grumbled and he reached for the bag of takeout. "Let's eat."
"Are you sure you don't want to come with us?" Sam asked.
You shook your head. "I appreciate the offer, but I think you guys need some time alone. Rekindle your relationship, mend fences, etc."
Sam nodded. "Alright, but please call us if you need anything--and I mean anything."
He wrapped you in a hug, which you happily returned. "You know I will."
He stepped back and headed out to the car, leaving you and Dean alone.
"Well, I guess this is goodbye for now," Dean said.
You turned to him with a smile. "I guess it is."
You stuck your hand out and Dean shook it tentatively.
"We're not at the hugging stage yet, Winchester," you said lightly.
He chuckled softly. "I've gotta earn that?"
"Oh yeah," you teased.
Dean grinned, liking the teasing tone in your voice. "I'll work on it. Stay safe, (Y/N)...call us if you need anything."
You nodded. "Same to you. Keep Sammy safe, okay?"
"I always will."
**********
You dragged yourself across the floor of the old, dirty warehouse, pain radiating through most of your body. You heard the footsteps of the creature you'd been hunting as it crossed the room towards you. You could see your cellphone lying several yards away, your gun not far from it. You knew this was it--you were gonna die.
You were breathing heavily, the pain almost unbearable. You didn't want to die, but you knew you wouldn't be able to reach your gun in time.
The creature took another step towards you and growled lowly. You looked up at it and resigned yourself to death.
"Hey, ugly!" a man's voice yelled from behind the creature.
The creature turned in the direction of the voice and a gunshot rang out. The creature cried out in pain and dropped to the ground dead about a foot from you.
You released the breath you'd been holding, the sharp exhale making your ribs ache. You heard footsteps rushing towards you and what you saw made you smile a little.
"(Y/N)!" Sam yelled as he dropped to the ground beside you. "You okay?"
Dean was right behind him, coming to a stop on the other side of your body. You could see the concern in both of their faces as their eyes scanned your body, looking for serious injuries.
"Hey guys," you said softly. "I'm alright."
"Can you stand?" Sam asked.
You nodded and the boys started to help you up. You groaned in pain, exhaling slowly to try and ease it.
"Easy," Dean said softly. "I've got you."
Sam raised an eyebrow at him, but didn't comment. He just continued to help you until you were standing up fully. Dean's arm slipped around your waist and pulled you against his side, holding you upright.
"Lean on me, okay? I've got you." He turned to his brother. "You handle the monster, I'll get (Y/N) to the car."
Dean moved slowly, allowing you to lean into him as you limped beside him. "You alright, (Y/N)?" he asked softly.
"That damn thing beat the hell outta me...definitely some bruised ribs, pretty sure I sprained my ankle, and I've got some pretty deep gashes on my back and hip. Otherwise though, I'm peachy."
Dean chuckled softly. "Tough as nails, this one."
"Minus the whole 'almost died' thing."
"Hey, don't worry about that. Happens to the best of us."
"I've noticed," you said lightly.
He laughed. "Rude."
"Seriously, though, thanks for saving my ass."
"My pleasure, (Y/N). Besides, I owed you."
You whimpered slightly when Dean shifted to help you as you approached the stairway.
"Shit, (Y/N), sorry. You okay?"
"I'm fine," you lied through gritted teeth.
"Liar," he mumbled. "Hold still."
You did as he asked, watching in confusion as he took a step away from you, sliding his left arm under your legs and scooping you up into his arms.
You gasped in pain and surprise. "What are you doing?!"
"Sorry if that hurt you, but this will be a hell of a lot easier--and less painful for you."
"You are not carrying me down the stairs, Winchester," you hissed.
"You gonna stop me?" he asked harshly. When you were silent, he smirked smugly. "Didn't think so."
You held on tightly as Dean carried you down the stairs with shocking ease. You knew you weren't light and it surprised you he was able to carry you without issue.
When he reached the bottom of the stairs, you stirred against him. "You can put me down now."
"Not happening. I'll put you down when we get to the car."
You stared at him in shock. The man in front of you was so different from the man you'd met almost three years prior. Hell, he was even different from the man who'd apologized to you 8 months ago.
"You've changed," you whispered.
He glanced at your face, cheeks tinged pink. "For the better, I hope."
You smiled warmly. "Definitely."
Dean had driven you back to the motel, leaving Sam to bring your car back. Instead of taking you to your room, Dean brought you to his and Sam's to get you cleaned up and to check your wounds.
"Alright let me see your back," Dean said gently.
You shifted to lift the back of your shirt up, allowing Dean to see the claw marks on your lower back.
"Shit, those are deep," he muttered. "You're gonna need stitches."
"Great."
"I've got everything we need." He got up and grabbed his kit, pulling out the supplies he needed to stitch you up. "So I need unhindered access to your back."
You looked up at him, unsure of what he was saying.
He bit his lip and shifted his weight. "I, uh...I need you to take your shirt off."
Your eyes widened. "Absolutely not."
"I'm not trying to make it weird, but I need both hands to stitch, so I can't hold your shirt up too."
There was zero chance of you taking off your shirt in front of Dean fucking Winchester. Absolutely not. No way in hell. He looked like that and you...well you didn't like anyone to see you without a shirt off.
"How 'bout I lay down on my stomach and pull my shirt up so it's out of the way?"
He sighed. "Fine, it's a reasonable compromise."
You nodded gratefully and laid down on your stomach, but the moment you did, you cried out in pain and rolled onto your side.
Dean was beside you in an instant. "What's wrong?"
"Ribs," you muttered.
"Shit..." he paused for a moment. "(Y/N) please let me help you."
You looked up at him, tears filling your eyes--a mixture of pain and embarrassment.
"Hey," he said softly. "You're okay. I know it's not fun, but I need to get you stitched up before the cuts get infected."
You bit your lip and nodded. "Will you turn around until I'm ready?"
Dean offered you a soft smile. "Of course." He turned around and waited for you to tell him you were ready.
You moved slowly, lifting your shirt off over your head, inhaling sharply at the painful movements. A whimper left your lips, the pain forcing the sound out.
It took all of Dean's self-control to not turn around when he heard your soft whimper, but he'd promised to wait.
You balled your shirt up in front of you, using it to hide your stomach and as much of your chest as you could. "Okay," you whispered.
Dean turned around slowly, keeping his gaze on your face. He was very tempted to look down, but he knew it would be unwelcome. He settled onto the bed behind you and began to clean your wounds.
You hissed at the contact, wincing away from him.
"Sorry, sweetheart."
Your eyes nearly popped out of your head--shock settling into your bones at the sound of the pet name.
You tried to remain still as he continued cleaning, despite the pain that was radiating through your body.
"Alright, they're clean," Dean said gently. "Time for the stitches."
You tensed up as he gently placed his calloused hand against your skin.
"Just relax, okay? I've got you."
You did your best to relax and Dean started to stitch your skin back together. About halfway through, Sam arrived back at the motel.
"Yikes," Sam said when he saw the deep gashes on your back. "Those look gnarly."
"Yeah, it's not great," you muttered.
"Sorry, (Y/N/N)," Sam commented. "I brought your car back though." He held up the keys with an awkward smile.
"Thanks, Sam."
"Sammy, why don't you go round us up some food?" Dean requested.
Sam raised his eyebrows as he looked between you and Dean. "Alright, sure. What do you want?"
"Burgers and pie," Dean said immediately.
"(Y/N)?"
"Yeah, sounds good," you answered.
"Alright, I'll be back." Sam grabbed the Impala keys off the table and headed back out.
"You still with me, sweetheart?"
"Mhmm," you hummed, voice laced with pain and discomfort.
"I'll be done soon enough," Dean said gently. "Then onto the ones on your hip."
"Fuck," you muttered. You'd almost forgotten about the deep cuts on your hip, but the pain started back up at the mention of them.
"I'm going as quickly as I can without giving you some seriously hideous scars," Dean whispered.
You smiled a little at the sweetness of his words. "Thanks," you murmured.
Dean found himself fighting the urge to place a soft kiss to your exposed shoulder. He wanted to provide you comfort, but instead he was actively causing you pain--and he hated it.
After several more minutes of silence, Dean finished his last stitch. "All done."
You sighed gratefully. "Thank God."
"Actually, it's just Dean," he quipped lightly.
You laughed warmly, but the action hurt your ribs, causing a soft groan of pain.
"While I liked hearing you laugh, I'd rather not cause you more pain than I have to."
"Then don't make me laugh, Winchester," you teased.
He grinned. "I'm just naturally hilarious."
You chuckled again, trying to suppress the sound to prevent any pain.
"Alright, lose the pants."
"Excuse me?"
"I've gotta get to your hip somehow, sweetheart," he stated.
You groaned softly. The last thing you wanted to do was be essentially naked in front of him. "Fine, but I'm putting my shirt back on."
"Absolutely not. That thing is dirty and ruined. You're not putting it anywhere near those cuts." He started rummaging through his bag and he pulled out a flannel shirt. "Here, put this on."
You looked at him in disbelief. "I don't think I'm going to fit into your shirt."
He looked confused. "Of course you will. Just put it on."
You took the shirt from him, still convinced there was no way it would fit you. He was a large man, but you had a very full chest and soft stomach...you were used to not fitting into a man's clothing.
"Turn around," you whispered.
Dean sighed softly, but he turned around to give you the privacy you'd requested.
You pulled yourself up with a groan, tossing your dirty shirt onto the floor. You slowly pulled the flannel shirt on over your arms and nearly gasped in surprise when you realized that not only did the shirt fit you, but it was a little big on you. You buttoned the shirt quickly, feeling more than a little pleased at the way it fit. Plus, you couldn't help but notice the shirt smelled like Dean--like soap, leather, and a little bit of whiskey.
"Can I turn around now?"
"Oh...yeah."
He turned around and felt a tightening in his chest as he took in the image of you in his shirt. He didn't know he'd feel this way when he'd given you the shirt to wear, but damn--he couldn't help but notice how sexy you looked in his clothing.
"Told you it would fit," he said with a smirk. "Even looks big on you."
You blushed. "So you were right one time."
He laughed. "I promise it won't be the last."
You rolled your eyes, but a small smile remained on your lips.
"Now the pants."
"I am not taking off my pants, Winchester."
"How am I supposed to clean your wounds through your pants?"
You groaned. "God, this is embarrassing," you muttered.
"Nothing to be embarrassed about, sweetheart. I'm just trying to help."
You groaned a second time. "Fine," you grumbled.
Dean bit his lip and looked away. He needed you to stop making those damn sounds or he was going to lose his mind.
You looked up at him warily, making sure his gaze remained averted from you. You removed your pants as quickly as you could without causing yourself more pain. A few moments later, you were standing there in nothing but your underwear and Dean's shirt. Thankfully, the shirt was long enough that it covered you both in the front and back.
"You good?" he asked softly.
"Yeah...where--where do you want me?"
Dean groaned softly, desperately trying to keep his thoughts to himself. He didn't think you'd appreciate hearing where he really wanted you.
He kept his eyes trained on your face. "Lay down on your side so I can see your hip."
You swallowed thickly, feeling the change in the air of the room. You slowly lowered yourself onto the bed, shifting to lay on your side.
Dean grabbed a pillow. "Lift your head for me." You did as he asked and he slipped the pillow under your head to make it more comfortable for you.
He climbed onto the bed behind you and exhaled slowly, trying to keep his shit together. You looked gorgeous in his shirt, round ass barely peeking out from beneath it. He felt the strong urge to smack it, but he had a feeling you'd knock him out if he did.
"Damn," he whispered as he looked at the deep claw marks on your hip. "I think these are worse."
"Yeah, they don't feel great," you muttered softly.
"I'll try to be gentle."
Dean began to clean the wounds, sadness lacing its icy tendrils around his heart every time he heard you make a pained sound.
"I'm sorry, (Y/N/N)," he whispered.
"It's fine," you ground out. "Wait, did you just call me (Y/N/N)?"
He winced slightly. "I--uh--I did. Is that okay?"
You were quiet for a moment as you contemplated it. "Yeah...yeah it's okay."
He exhaled gratefully. He hadn't meant to call you a nickname--it had just kinda slipped out. He was glad it didn't upset you.
Dean had just started the stitches when Sam came back with food.
"Woah," Sam said as he caught a glimpse of the two of you on the bed--and you without pants.
"I'm stitching the wounds on her hip, you idiot," Dean said sharply.
"Oh--wait, why is she wearing your shirt?"
"Because hers was dirty, Samuel. Any more questions?"
Sam threw his hands up in defeat. "My bad--my bad."
"You better have brought me pie," Dean grumbled.
"I didn't forget the pie," Sam said in annoyance.
Your stomach suddenly grumbled loudly. "Apparently I'm starving," you said lightly.
"As soon as I'm done with the stitches, we can eat."
Sam held a container of fries out to you. "Want some?"
"Oh thank God," you muttered as you took the container from him.
"Quit moving," Dean admonished.
"Sorry," you said sheepishly. "Fry?"
He glanced at your extended hand and simply opened his mouth. You looked at him in confusion and he nodded to his hands. "I can't exactly grab it."
"Oh, right." You took a fry out of the container and held it out to him. He leaned forward and took the fry from your hand, a soft moan of enjoyment escaping his lips.
You felt a warmth spread through your lower body and your breathing became a little more labored. You swallowed thickly and averted your gaze, unable to look at him without blushing.
You continued eating your fries quietly as Dean finished stitching the cuts.
"All....done," Dean said softly as he finished the final stitch.
"Thank you," you said softly. You started to try and sit up and Dean grabbed you to help. "You're not gonna let me put my pants on, are you?"
Dean grinned ear to ear. "I mean, I do like you like this, but I'll let you put on pants--if you insist."
Your eyes widened slightly and you blushed deeply.
"But not your pants, of course," Dean said with a smirk. He dug into his bag again, producing a pair of well-worn sweats. "Here you go, sweetheart."
"Just because your shirt fits, doesn't mean your pants will."
He looked you up and down slowly. "Oh they'll fit, they'll just be a little long."
Sam looked back and forth between the two of you for a few moments. "Am I missing something here?"
"Nope," you both answered.
"Okaaaay..."
You leaned down to start pulling the sweatpants on and as you tugged them up your thighs, you realized Dean was once again correct. The damn things were gonna be loose.
You stood up slowly and pulled them up the rest of the way, tugging on the string to tighten them enough so they wouldn't sag. You looked down at your feet and chuckled at the fabric pooling around your feet.
"Need some help?" Dean asked lightly.
"Could you maybe roll up the bottoms? I don't wanna fall on my face."
He grinned. "It would be my pleasure."
He dropped to his knees in front of you, earning a gasp of surprise from you. He slowly rolled up one pant leg, looked up at you with a little smirk, then rolled up the second pant leg. He looked back up at you with the same expression on his face. "Better?"
You didn't trust your voice, so you simply nodded.
He pulled himself up, suddenly towering over you again. Your knees felt weak--and it had nothing to do with your injuries.
"Uhhh...dinner is getting cold..." Sam muttered awkwardly.
"Mhmm," Dean hummed, gaze still fixed on your face.
"We should probably eat," you whispered.
Dean's tongue slipped out of his mouth, wetting his lips. His gaze was almost hungry as he regarded you, a soft smirk gracing his handsome face. "I am quite hungry," he murmured. "Very, very hungry."
You felt your pulse quicken and your lips parted slightly. The way he was looking at you made you think he wasn't referring to a hunger for burgers or pie...but you knew that couldn't be possible. Dean Winchester didn't want you--not like that.
You took control of the situation, stepping around Dean to limp towards the table. Dean quickly slipped an arm around your waist to help you.
"I'm alright, Dean."
"I'm not letting you fall and worsen your injuries."
You smiled up at him as he guided you to a chair and gently lowered you into it. He sat down in the chair beside yours and grabbed a burger for each of you out of the bag.
Sam had already eaten his dinner, so he was just watching the interactions between you and Dean. It was obvious he was confused, and to be honest, so were you.
Last time you'd talked to Dean, he'd apologized for being a massive asshole, but this transition was completely unexpected. You didn't know how to address it, or frankly, how to feel about it.
Instead, you decided to ask a question that had been tickling the back of your mind. "So...how did you guys find me?"
"Oh, that was all Dean," Sam admitted.
"Well you're the one who identified this case," Dean said with a shrug.
"Yeah, but you figured out where the monster was taking its victims--and then we saw your car."
"When we got inside the warehouse, I heard you yell in pain and I just--well, I just took off," Dean said.
You looked at both of them with a warm expression. "Well, thanks for saving me."
"You already thanked me," Dean said softly. "Besides, we both owed you our lives."
"He's not wrong," Sam added.
"Well, I'm thankful either way."
"You're welcome, (Y/N/N)," Dean said with a warm smile.
Sam gave his brother a weird look before looking back at you. "You're welcome."
The three of you continued to eat your dinner in relative silence, Sam or Dean occasionally chatting with each other while you looked on.
You watched Dean quietly, really taking him in for the first time. He was so incredibly beautiful--almost painfully so. His eyes were so kind, so much kinder than they'd been when you'd met. More importantly, he seemed lighter--more whole, than before.
You felt a stirring in your chest as you gazed at him, hating yourself for it. You shouldn't have any feelings for him--you couldn't. You wouldn't put yourself in that position and you certainly didn't want to be another notch on Dean Winchester's bedpost.
"You alright, sweetheart?" Dean asked softly, shaking you from your thoughts.
"Hmm?"
"You were staring at the side of my head," he said lightly.
"Oh, sorry. I completely zoned out."
"Don't worry about it. You're allowed."
The smile you gave him quickly turned into a yawn. "I suddenly got really tired. I think I'll go back to my room to sleep."
Dean practically jumped out of his chair. "I'll take you."
You gave him an odd look. "I think I can manage to limp my way three doors down."
"Well, I'd feel better if I went with you."
Your expression softened. "Alright, alright. Lemme get my shoes on."
Dean grabbed your boots and sat them in front of you, but when you bent down to get them on, you gasped as pain radiated from your bruised ribs.
"Here, let me help," Dean said gently.
You gladly accepted his help, allowing him to get your boots on both feet. He helped you out of your chair and Sam stood up as well. He hugged you gently, which you returned in kind.
"I'm glad you're okay," Sam whispered into your hair.
"Thanks, Sammy," you murmured.
He stepped back and gave his brother a look you couldn't decipher. "I'm gonna shower and then hit the hay."
"Sounds good. I'll be back in a bit," Dean said before taking your hand and helping you towards the door.
Once you were outside, Dean was instantly more protective of you. Either he was worried about you falling on the hard cement or something attacking you. Whichever one it was, his protectiveness warmed your heart.
"Want me to carry you again?" Dean teased lightly.
You smacked his arm affectionately. "I can walk on my own, Winchester. Slowly..."
He grinned. "Whatever you say, sweetheart."
"So about that...since when do you call me sweetheart?"
"Since today, I guess," Dean muttered.
"A pet name and a nickname in the same day...interesting."
"Interesting good or interesting bad?"
You looked up at him. "I haven't decided yet."
"Fair enough."
"This is it," you said as you stopped in front of your motel room. "Thanks for walking me over."
Dean gave you an odd look. "I'm not leaving you at the door, (Y/N)."
You chuckled. "I didn't wanna assume."
You unlocked the door and Dean helped you in. "Lemme check the room, okay?"
You watched Dean walk around the room, checking the closet and the bathroom for anything that might want to hurt you. Finding nothing, he came back into the room, much more relaxed than before.
"So no monsters in the closet?" you teased.
He smiled. "You're safe."
"I already felt safe," you said softly.
"Oh?"
You blushed and looked at the floor, a little embarrassed that those words had left your lips.
Dean crossed the space between you and slid a hand under your chin, lifting it gently to meet his gaze. "Are you saying I make you feel safe?"
His voice was soft and affectionate--it put you at ease. "Yes," you whispered honestly.
Dean smiled warmly. "That's the best thing you could ever say to me."
"Easy to please, I see," you joked lightly, trying to keep your cool.
"Not usually, but you seem to be an exception to the rule."
The way he was looking at you sent a warm feeling through your body and you felt heat pooling in your lower belly. His hand was still on your chin, but you wanted to feel it everywhere.
His thumb began to gently brush against your skin, hand sliding up to your cheek. You leaned into it and your eyelids fluttered closed for a moment. You felt dean's thumb brush gently against your lower lip and you inhaled sharply, eyes opening to meet his fiery gaze.
"Can I kiss you?" he whispered.
You desperately wanted to say yes, everything in you was screaming to say yes...but you couldn't. You needed to know what his intentions were.
"What do you want from me?" you whispered.
He looked taken aback. "I thought that was obvious."
You took a step back and his hand dropped from your face. "I know your reputation...I don't wanna be just another one night stand or some story you tell the boys around the campfire."
He looked hurt--almost as if you'd slapped him. But he seemed to realize you were right...he did have a reputation. "I know it's hard to trust me...I haven't been good to you in the past, but this isn't some one night stand, pity sex thing. I want you. I want this."
"This?" you whispered.
"You're so damn strong, (Y/N). You're smart and funny, you're an amazing hunter and an even better woman. You're brave and selfless and so incredibly loyal. I'm sorry I didn't see it when we first met, but I see it now. I can see what Sam saw in you when we first met. I've spent the last 8 months thinking about you constantly. I want something real with you, (Y/N). It scares the hell out of me, but I need you in my life...if you'll have me."
You listened to his words and you heard the emotion in them. You could feel how much he cared about you--how deeply he meant what he was saying. "I never thought you'd want someone like me."
He looked confused. "Do you mean perfect? Because that's what you are to me."
You gasped softly. "What?"
"You're not a perfect person--none of us are, but you're perfect for me."
"Have you lost your mind? Any recent head injuries?"
Dean laughed lightly. "Nothing like that, baby. I want this--it's real for me."
"Why me?" you said so softly he almost didn't hear you.
"I think I just explained that, sweetheart," he said gently.
You gestured to your body as you said, "But I look like this--and you...you look like that."
He narrowed his eyes at you. "Don't you dare talk badly about your body, baby. Don't you dare."
Tears stung your eyes and you sniffled softly.
"Look at me sweetness," he said softly, taking your face in his hands. "I know I said some terrible things when we first met--some of them about your body. I said it because I knew it would hurt you--I could tell you had some insecurities and I played on them. I feel terrible for it--fucking awful. But I didn't really mean it, baby. I just wanted to hurt you. Please forgive me--please believe me."
The tears streamed down your face and he gently wiped them away.
"It's okay, beautiful. Talk to me."
You sniffed softly. "I forgive you, Dean...and I believe you."
He smiled warmly as he continued to wipe your tears. He stepped a little closer and placed soft kisses to your forehead, your cheeks, your nose, and finally, your lips.
You leaned into the kiss, returning the affection in kind. When his lips left yours, he brushed the last tears from your face. "You wanna go to bed now, sweetheart?" he asked softly.
You smiled and shook your head. "I wanna get in bed, but I'm not feeling as tired now."
Dean smirked and his arms snaked around your waist, pulling you closer to him as gently as he could. "Oh really? And what would you like to do in bed?"
"I have a feeling you have some ideas."
"Oh baby, I have a lot of ideas...but you've been through a lot today. I don't wanna hurt you."
"I guess you'll just have to be really gentle," you whispered against his lips.
He groaned softly. "I can be gentle...I can be so fucking gentle."
You giggled softly and he smiled, pressing his lips against yours.
"I wanna manhandle the shit outta you just to prove to you that I can...but that'll have to wait until you've healed. For now, I want you to do exactly what I tell you to--and stop me if it hurts too much, okay?"
You nodded.
"Baby, I'm gonna need you to use those words."
"Yes, Dean," you murmured.
He pressed his body up against yours again and you could feel his erection against your abdomen. "You know, I just thought of something..."
"What's that?"
"I think that's the second time you've ever called me by my name."
"What? No--can't be."
"The first time was when you forgave me and then you just said it now...but you usually just call me 'Winchester'."
You thought about it for a moment and realized he was right. "I kinda like saying your name...Dean."
He groaned softly. "I fucking love it, baby. I'm gonna make you scream my name, pretty girl."
"We'll see," you teased.
"Is that a challenge?"
You grinned. "One hundred percent."
"Oh you are in for it now, gorgeous."
You laughed as he pressed his lips against yours before trailing kisses down your neck. He nipped at your pulse point and you moaned softly, earning a grunt of approval from Dean.
"Now remember," he murmured against your skin. "You promised to do what I tell you to, but if you wanna stop, just tell me, okay? I won't do anything you don't wanna do."
You sighed softly. "I trust you, Dean."
"Good," he whispered. "Now take off your clothes."
You gasped in surprise, but quickly started to unbutton your shirt. When it came time to take it off completely, you froze, the familiar discomfort sinking into your mind.
"Hey," he said gently. "Take off whatever you're comfortable with, sweetheart, but I want you to remember that I think you're sexy as hell, okay?"
You nodded and took a deep breath before sliding your shirt off, letting it fall to the floor. His eyes roamed your torso appreciatively.
"Can I take off your bra?" he asked softly.
"Yes."
He unhooked your bra with one hand, and gently pulled it forward, exposing your ample breasts to his hungry eyes. "Fuck..." he whispered.
You felt the strong urge to cover up, but you kept your arms at your sides, allowing Dean to take in every inch of skin he could see.
"You're so fucking gorgeous, (Y/N)."
You whimpered softly as his lips latched onto your nipple, one hand at the small of your back to hold you up and the other massaging your breast gently.
Your hands tentatively rested on Dean's shoulders, and you could feel the taunt muscles shift beneath his shirt. You desperately wanted to feel his skin against yours, so you curled your fingers into his shirt and tugged on it gently.
He released your nipple and looked up at you. "What is it, baby? What do you need?"
You bit your lip and shifted slightly. "I wanna feel your skin."
He chuckled softly. "Like this?" he asked as he ran his hands slowly down your sides.
You shook your head and reached for the hem of his shirt. As soon as your hand managed to touch it, he understood what you were asking. He stepped back and yanked his shirt off over his head.
As much as you wanted to feel his body against yours, you stopped him when he leaned back towards you. He looked a little saddened, misunderstanding your movement.
"I'm trying to appreciate perfection," you said softly.
He smiled and puffed out his chest slightly. "You're the perfect one, baby."
You looked up at him with a smile. "Take me to bed, Mr. Winchester."
He chuckled. "Yes ma'am."
He guided you over to the bed and he sat down on the edge, pulling you down with him. You straddled his lap and ground yourself down against his very prominent bulge.
You gasped into his mouth and he swallowed the soft sounds you made. He grabbed ahold of your hips, careful to avoid the wounds on your left one.
"I think you should lose the pants, baby--underwear too."
You pulled yourself off of him, stepping back to slowly peel off your pants and underwear. Your hands were shaking slightly, nervous about being completely naked in front of him. When you stood back up, you found Dean's gaze glued to your body, eyes tracing every inch of you he could see.
He reached out to touch you, but you took a step back, making him look up at you in surprise.
You smirked slightly, feeling emboldened by the obvious desire in his eyes.
"Baby..." he said softly. "Come here."
You shook your head. "Not until you're naked too."
He raised an eyebrow at you, but a small smirk danced across his lips. He liked your commanding voice--he was almost surprised by how much it turned him on.
He stood up, eyes never leaving your face. He slowly took off his jeans, stepping forward to get out of them. He hooked his fingers into his boxers and lowered them slowly, keeping eye contact with you the entire time.
You inhaled sharply as you took in his size--much larger than you were accustomed to. Your eyes flicked back up to his and his smirk had widened slightly.
"Like what you see, pretty girl?"
"Very much, but I'm a little...concerned."
"About what?"
You looked down at his cock and back up at his face. "You're a little...large."
He laughed softly. "I'll be gentle."
"I'm more concerned about it not fitting."
He grinned. "That should not make me feel so good," he chuckled. "It'll fit, sweetheart. You'll see."
"I trust you."
He smiled and took a step towards you, arms wrapping around you and pulling you closer. He kissed you softly, hands roaming your skin, loving the feeling of your softness. "Fuck, baby--I wanna taste you. I need to."
You gasped softly as two of his fingers gently swiped between your pussy lips, collecting some of your slick. He brought the fingers to his mouth and sucked on them, a soft moan slipping from his lips.
"You taste delicious, sweetness. I want more."
He pulled you down onto the bed with him, tugging your body on top of him. You kissed him passionately, as you ground your hips against his cock.
He groaned into your mouth and his hands traveled up your back, massaging soft circles into your skin.
"Come up here, baby," he begged.
You pulled back, staring at him in confusion. "I don't understand."
He gently caressed your thighs. "I wanna taste you--come sit on my face."
"Do you have a death wish?"
He looked surprised. "What?"
"I'll smother you, Dean."
He rolled his eyes. "Then I'll die an extremely happy man. Suffocate me between those thick, sexy thighs, baby."
Your eyes widened, but you were more than a little intrigued by the concept. You'd never been asked to sit on anyone's face before and you'd certainly never suggested it. You had to admit, you'd always wanted to try it.
"Are you sure?"
"Fuck yeah, babe."
"Okay," you agreed softly.
Dean gently guided you towards his face, helping you straddle his head. His left hand gripped your right hip and he laid his right hand on your left thigh.
"Put my hand above your cuts so I can hold onto you," he requested softly.
You took his right hand and placed it just above the deep gashes on your left hip.
"Good girl," Dean praised. "Now have a seat and let me feast on you."
You lowered yourself onto his mouth, but didn't quite sit down. Instead of admonishing you, Dean dug his fingers into your flesh and tugged you down firmly.
You cried out in a mixture of surprise and pleasure as his tongue slipped through your folds. Dean groaned loudly as he began to devour you.
You had never in your life felt pleasure like Dean was giving you in this moment. The sounds that his ministrations pulled from your lips were absolutely sinful. Your legs had already begun to shake and you were gripping the headboard like your life depended on it.
"Dean, I'm so close," you gasped.
He moaned into your core and his fingers dug further into your flesh, blunt nails scraping against your skin. He didn't stop his actions--the desire to feel you cum outweighing his need to breathe.
Within moments, you cried out as your orgasm washed over you, your thighs squeezing his head tightly. Dean continued working you through your orgasm until you started to squirm away from him. He finally let you go and you leaned back onto his chest as you tried to catch your breath.
Dean moved you as gently as he could, shifting you to straddle his hips as he pulled himself into a sitting position, feet planted firmly on the floor beside the bed. He pulled you against his chest and brushed his fingers through your hair.
"You okay, baby?" he asked softly, lips pressed to your forehead.
"More than okay," you mumbled into his chest.
He chuckled softly as he held you against him, loving the feeling of your softness beneath his fingers.
After a few more moments, you sat up and bit your lip. "Dean?"
He smiled at you. "Hmm?"
"I want you to fuck me."
His eyes widened slightly and he shifted his hips under you, brushing his cock against your core. "I'm happy to oblige," he teased softly.
You sighed as he kissed you deeply, allowing you to taste yourself on his tongue. You moaned into the kiss and his hands slid down your body, lifting you slightly so he could line himself up with your entrance.
"Are you sure you wanna do it in this position?" you asked quietly.
"It's the only position where I can pleasure you, hold you close, and avoid hurting you. So yeah, baby, I'm sure."
You looked into his beautiful green eyes and smiled warmly. You could feel how much he cared about you and it warmed your soul.
"You ready?" he whispered.
"I'm ready."
He held his cock firmly, letting you take the lead as you slowly lowered yourself down onto him. By the time you'd lowered yourself completely, you were both breathless.
The stretch was incredible--unlike anything you'd ever experienced. You swore you could feel him in your lower belly--you'd never felt so full.
Dean leaned his forehead against yours, breathing heavily as he let you adjust to his size.
"You can move now," you whispered.
"Just one moment, sweetheart, I--I need a moment."
"Are you okay?"
He looked up at your pretty face and smiled. "I'm fucking phenomenal, babe...but your pussy feels so goddamn incredible, so tight and warm--I just need a second to control myself."
You blushed at his praise, warmth rushing through your body at his words. You pressed a soft kiss to his lips, then his jaw, before finding the sweet spot on his neck that made him moan.
His hands dug into your flesh as he started to roll his hips against yours. You gasped softly against his skin, pleasure washing over you.
"Hold onto me, sweetheart," Dean murmured softly.
You did as he asked, clinging tightly to his shoulders and tightening your thighs against his.
Dean wrapped his arms around you, careful not to hold you too tightly or touch your stitched wounds. He pressed his lips softly against your collarbone as he rolled his hips again.
He gave you less than a second to get comfortable before he began to thrust up into you in earnest. His feet were planted firmly on the floor, allowing him to piston up into you.
"Dean!" you gasped, nails digging into his shoulders.
Each thrust was calculated and hard, making your body shiver with pleasure. He shifted slightly, pulling you more firmly into his chest, which changed the angle of his thrusts. The new angle allowed him to hit your g-spot with each thrust.
You moaned loudly and dug your nails more firmly into his shoulders and back.
"There it is," Dean murmured against your soft skin. "Feels so good, baby."
"Don't stop," you pleaded.
"I have no intention to."
His thrusts sped up to an almost shocking speed and your whole body vibrated with pleasure. You could feel your orgasm quickly approaching, but you couldn't voice it. The pleasure overwhelmed your mind--rendering you speechless.
"You close baby? I can feel you squeezing me."
In response, you nipped at his shoulder and moaned into his skin.
He chuckled lightly. "That's it, pretty girl. I want you to cum for me--wanna feel you cum all over my cock."
You whimpered softly, "Please."
"I've got you, baby. Let go for me."
Your legs had begun to shake and you cried out in pleasure as your orgasm slammed into you with surprising force. You called his name as he worked you through it, thrusts beginning to falter as he chased his own high.
"I'm close, baby," he whispered against your throat.
You used what strength you had left to clamp down onto his cock, squeezing him as tightly as you could.
"Oh--fuck," Dean gasped. He began to cum inside you, coating your walls with his seed. He sunk his teeth into your shoulder to keep himself from crying out at the intensity of his orgasm.
You relaxed your body against him as his thrusts slowed to a stop, forehead resting against his shoulder as you tried to catch your breath.
Dean's arms were still wrapped around you, holding you close to him as he came down from his high. He placed soft open mouthed kisses to your skin and whispered sweet nothings.
Dean began to shift his body as his member softened inside you. You whimpered softly, body too sensitive for any kind of movement.
"Sorry, sweetheart. You okay?"
You nodded. "I'm okay, just a little sore."
He grinned wolfishly. "That makes me feel good."
You laughed softly and smacked his arm affectionately. "It's a little bit of you and a little of that whole monster fight from earlier."
He made a pouty face, which only made you laugh more. The increased laughter hurt your sore ribs and you winced at the pain.
"Shit, sorry sweetheart."
"Not your fault."
He brushed your hair back from your face so he could look at you better. "You look so sexy right now, baby."
You blushed. "I look like I had the shit beat out of me."
"Nah, you look like you just got well and properly fucked," he teased.
You chuckled slightly. "It was quite nice, I must say."
He grinned. "Just you wait until you're all healed up--I'm gonna fuck you so good you won't be able to walk straight for days."
You gasped. "Oh my."
He licked his lips and kissed you softly. "I could kiss you all night long."
"As much as I would love that, I think we should take a shower. I'm exhausted."
"Alright, pretty girl." Dean stood up, still holding you. You wrapped your legs around his waist to avoid falling to the ground. "I've got you, (Y/N/N)."
You looked down at him. "I know."
He smiled and kissed you gently. "Shower, then bed."
"Yes, sir."
"Oo," he said happily. "I like that."
You grinned. "I'll keep that in mind for later."
Dean grinned back at you. "You're gonna be in for a wild ride, sweetness."
"Is that a promise?"
"Absolutely."
After your shower, Dean carried you back to your bed and laid you down gently. He crawled into the bed beside you and pulled you close so your head was resting on his chest.
He kissed the top of your head and ran his fingers up and down your arm. "I want you to come with us," he said suddenly.
"What?" you asked in surprise as you looked up at him.
"I want you to come hunt with Sam and I...permanently."
"Are you--are you sure?"
"I told you this was real for me, baby. I want to try this with you, and that means you should be with me. I mean--if you want."
You smiled at him and touched his cheek gently. "I would love to go with you."
He grinned happily and kissed you sweetly. "Excellent. I'm sure Sam won't mind."
"As long as we get our own room, I'm sure he won't," you teased.
He laughed. "Oh yeah, we're gonna need that."
You smiled and kissed his chest softly. You yawned and curled further into him, exhaustion finally weighing you down.
"Go to sleep baby. I'll be right here when you wake up," Dean whispered.
You fell fast asleep in Dean's arms and he watched you for a while before sleep finally came to him. He hadn't felt so full and happy in a long time and it was one hundred percent because of you. He felt honored you were willing to give a relationship with him a chance, despite everything that had happened between the two of you in the past. He was determined to do everything he could to make sure you never regretted that decision.
Buy Me a Coffee 💜
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fatecantstopme · 3 months
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i loved all of your works about dean and plus size reader, your work is so amazing please make more of it. the smut part is also perfect and i enjoy so much the plots you do. you deserve every like and recognition ✨️
Thank you so much! Plus size reader inserts have a special place in my heart and I absolutely love writing them. I'm so glad you enjoy them too.
Don't worry...there are more in the works!!
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fatecantstopme · 3 months
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Your Rafael Barba fic “better together” was the first barba smut i ever read and i just re-read it and it was as good as it was the first time!!! I love it!
Thank you, love!! I'm so glad you enjoyed it :)
I have a couple more on my Masterlist if you're interested.
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fatecantstopme · 3 months
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Spell Bound
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Pairing: Dean Winchester x plus size!reader
Summary: It's sex pollen...I couldn't help myself.
Warnings: cursing, use of pet names. An excessive amount of heavy SMUT, unprotected sex (P in V), rough sex, oral (F receiving), multiple cream pies
"I freaking hate witches," Dean mumbled as he picked the lock on the apartment door.
You chuckled softly, very used to hearing him grumble every time you were hunting a witch.
He slowly walked into the apartment and you followed in after him.
"So what exactly are we looking for?" you asked quietly.
"Big scary magic book. Sam said it's probably on or near some kind of altar."
"Big scary magic book," you muttered under your breath. "Makes perfect sense."
You sighed as you walked into the living room and noticed several bookcases lined with large books. "You've gotta be kidding me."
Dean shot you a weary smile. "Guess it might take a little longer than I thought."
"You think?"
You took one side of the room and Dean took the other. Sam had described the look of the book to the both of you, but there was really no way to be 100% certain if you found it.
About 15 minutes into your perusal, you spotted a large leather-bound book tucked under what appeared to be an altar cloth. You slowly removed the cloth, wary of what you might uncover. The book was almost exactly as Sam had described, so you had a feeling it was the right one.
"I think I found it," you said aloud.
At almost the same exact moment, a crash sounded from behind you and Dean let out a string of curses.
You spun around to see the hunter brushing off some sort of florescent pink dust from his face. "What the hell did you do?"
"I was moving some of the books and this box fell out and some powder just kinda...sprayed my face."
"Seriously?"
He looked sheepish. "I didn't even see it."
You sighed. "Great. God only knows what the hell that was."
He looked at the box carefully, but there was nothing written on it to identify the powdery substance he had inhaled. He gave you another sheepish look and shrugged. "Maybe it's not harmful."
You shot him a stony look. "Dean...it's a witch. It's not gonna be fairy dust."
He sighed, knowing you were right. He started shifting his shoulders a bit as if he was uncomfortable.
"Let's get out of here. I'll call Sam on the way back to the motel and see if he has any idea what it could be."
Dean nodded and followed you out the door. By the time you got outside the building and to the car, he was twitching like an addict in need of a fix.
"Dean?" you asked tentatively.
"My skin feels like it's on fire and--and it's like--itchy. And there's a weird feeling inside that I can't describe, but it doesn't feel nice."
"Okay...how 'bout I drive?"
He looked up at you with concerned eyes, but he handed you the keys and got into the passenger seat. You knew he must really be feeling terrible if he was letting you drive Baby.
You started the car up and pulled out of the parking spot while simultaneously calling Sam on your cell. He answered on the third ring.
"Dean got some sort of witchy powder on his face and now he's...itchy?" you said quickly in lieu of a greeting.
Sam sighed. "What are his symptoms?"
You put the phone on speaker. "Dean, what are your symptoms?"
Dean couldn't look at you and when he spoke, his voice was barely above a growl. "I feel like crawling out of my own skin, everything aches, and I'm having a hard time breathing right. Oh and I can literally smell (Y/N)'s skin, which is totally not normal!"
"You can smell my skin?"
He grumbled under his breath. "I can smell your skin and your shampoo and your goddamn body wash, and I want--fuck. What the hell is wrong with me, Sam?"
"Uh, I honestly don't know. Let me call Bobby and see if he has any ideas."
You set the phone down on the seat beside you. "Maybe you're turning into some kind of animal?"
"What?"
"Well, I mean...you can smell me...which is weird and kind of--animalistic."
"I don't think that's it," he said harshly. "My body is aching in a way I can't even begin to describe to you, but I don't think I'm morphing into anything."
You eyed him carefully, worry etched into your face. He was your closest friend and trusted hunting partner, and you hated seeing him like this. Witches scared the shit out of you...you knew what they were capable of.
"Maybe drive a little faster," he hissed.
You pressed harder on the gas and the Impala shot down the road. When your phone rang, you answered it immediately.
"So I think I might know what it is, but I have something I need to ask Dean first," Sam said.
"Okay." You looked at Dean. "Can you hold the phone? Sam wants to ask you something."
Dean took the phone from your hand, hissing as his skin made contact with yours. "What?" he grumbled.
"This is gonna be awkward, but I need to know, okay? Do you feel--umm--aroused at all?"
Dean was silent for a moment as he let his brother's question sink in. Ohhh fuuuuck, he thought to himself. He glanced down at his jeans and noticed the bulge straining against them. With the intense pain he was experiencing, he hadn't really noticed. "Son of a bitch," he mumbled. "Yeah."
"Okay, well the good news is, I know what it is. It's called sex pollen."
"It's called what?"
"Sex pollen. The name doesn't really matter, but you have all the symptoms. They're only going to get worse until--well until you die."
"Die? Is there a cure?"
You looked over at Dean in terror, your foot pressing down even further on the pedal. Dean's hand was shaking slightly as he put the phone on speaker so you could hear.
"You have to--uhh--well--shit. You have to umm...fuck it out."
"I have to what?"
"Dude, I know, okay? But you don't have a choice. If you don't you'll die a rather painful death."
"Son of a bitch," Dean said again. "Can I, umm, take care of it myself?"
"According to what Bobby read, the only option is actual intercourse with another person."
"How long do I have?"
You were acutely aware of Dean's close proximity to you, and now you understood the nature of his pain. Your own breathing was more labored, but you desperately tried to maintain control of yourself. Don't make it weird, (Y/N), you thought to yourself.
"30 minutes from the time of contact until...until death," Sam answered.
"30 minutes?" you gasped. You started doing the math in your head as Dean continued talking to his brother. "We have maybe 10 more minutes until we get back to the motel and that leaves about 10 until..."
Dean looked over at you, his normally green eyes dark with need. "I'm so fucked," he muttered.
"That doesn't really leave us time to find someone for you to--you know," you said worriedly.
"Shit."
"Might wanna make it fast," Sam said.
"Obviously," Dean snapped. "How long will it take to...get out of my system?"
"That depends," Sam began. "If it's meaningless, one and done. If it's someone you care about...that's another story."
"Another story?"
"It could take a lot longer."
"Great," you mumbled.
"Sam, don't be there when we get there," Dean growled at his brother before hanging up the phone.
"Dean?" you questioned softly.
"Just drive, (Y/N)."
You continued driving, but your focus was most definitely not on the road. You could hear the heavy breathing and the soft pained sounds coming from the man beside you and it made it nearly impossible to concentrate on anything else. It certainly didn't help that you had wanted him for years and seeing him like this was making you feel things you absolutely shouldn't be feeling.
Dean flirted with you regularly, but he flirted with almost every person he came into contact with. It's just a part of his personality, so you never read into it. While Dean quite obviously adored you (and you him), you were not his type. You were a good fighter, sure, but where you really excelled was research. You were brilliant--almost as knowledgable as Bobby, though you still had plenty to learn. You were also significantly more--voluptuous than the women Dean gravitated to. Soft, chubby, more to love--whatever you wanna call it. As such, you'd never made any sort of move to announce your feelings for him. You didn't want to face his rejection.
"Sweetheart, if you don't speed up, I'm liable to die before we make it there," Dean hissed.
You shot him a look. "We're less than two minutes away, so don't die on me yet, Winchester."
He exhaled sharply and nodded. "I'm not gonna make it either way, (Y/N). Like you said, we don't have enough time to find a, uh--partner."
You took a deep breath. "I can't let you die."
He looked over at you and you felt his gaze boring right into your soul. "I can't do that to you."
"I really don't see how we have much of a choice here."
You pulled into the motel parking lot before he could respond.
"Let's go," you said quickly as you got out of the car and made your way to your room.
Dean was right behind you, so close you could feel his breath on the back of your neck. As soon as the door was unlocked, Dean was pushing you through it and locking it behind you.
"Shit," he muttered. "I don't wanna hurt you."
"It's okay, Dean," you said softly. "I'm not afraid."
His eyes widened and he grabbed your chin. "You should be...I'm going to lose control."
"It's alright...use me."
He let out a low growl and squeezed your chin tighter. "I--I won't be able to make this good for you."
You pressed yourself against his body, feeling the hard ridges against you. "It's not about me. You need this."
That was all it took for Dean to let go. His lips attacked yours with a hunger you were not expecting despite the intensity of the situation. He was not at all gentle as he tore your clothes from your body, ripping his own off with equal force.
He tossed you down on the bed with shocking ease. He had absolutely no difficulty manhandling you. You weren't sure if it was the sex pollen or just him.
His lips and hands were everywhere, touching every inch of your soft skin he could possibly reach. He needed to be inside of you so badly it was almost impossible to breathe. His skin burned with each touch and his instincts screamed at him to just break you.
He moves his way down your body and you're surprised as he stops just above your core. "Dean, what are you doing?" You knew he needed a release--and soon--or he wasn't gonna make it.
A voice in the back of his mind kept reminding him this was (Y/N), his (Y/N). Even in his current state, he wanted to avoid hurting you if he could. "Need to get you ready," he grunted.
The words were barely out of his mouth before he was devouring your pussy. The sounds he made were incredible, the feeling almost electrifying. He slid two fingers in and moved them in a scissoring motion to help loosen you up.
He was only down there for a 30 seconds before he came up and locked eyes with you. "I can't hold off anymore."
You nodded. "Just let go. I'll be okay."
He knew the moment he slid inside you, he'd be a goner. Whatever tiny amount of self control he'd managed to hang onto would disappear in an instant. But he could also feel the roaring agony inside him and he needed to feed it before it devoured him.
"I'm sorry," he whispered against your ear a split second before he sheathed himself fully inside you.
You cried out--pain mixing with pleasure as his large member stretched you in ways you'd never before experienced.
Dean couldn't give you time to adjust--he was too far gone. His hips began to move and his sole focus was on his own pleasure--his own release.
His thrusts were powerful and fast, so much so that your body started to scoot farther up the bed. He grabbed your hips and held you in place, pace never faltering. The sensations were almost painful given his size, but you wouldn't have stopped him even if you could have.
"Fuck, baby--you feel so good," he grunted.
You were more than a little surprised when he spoke--you hadn't pegged him as a dirty talker. Then again, it could very well have been the pollen. The same could be said of the sounds coming from his mouth. You'd never heard such sinful noises and you loved them.
"So tight--squeezing me so good. Feels like heaven."
You squeezed his cock purposefully, making him groan each time you clenched down. He needed his release and you were gonna make sure he got it. Your own enjoyment was far from your mind--this was essentially a transaction--a lifesaving measure. You had to view it that way to protect your heart...at least that's what you told yourself.
"Baby," he moaned. "Imma fill you up--so close."
Despite the voice in your head telling you this wasn't real--that you shouldn't have any emotional attachments--you reached up and touched his face, caressing it lovingly. "Cum for me, Dean," you whispered.
His eyes locked on yours and he bit his lip--hearing you say his name in the heat of the moment was a bigger turn on than he'd ever imagined. It pushed him right over the edge and he spilled inside of you with a grunt.
You lay beneath him, panting despite the minimal exertion on your part. He'd had his orgasm, but he was still moving, much to your surprise. "You're not done--?"
He shook his head. "Need more."
He pulled out and quickly flipped you over with no warning. You instinctively lifted your hips to allow him access, which he took without hesitation. His cock was still throbbing and the need still burned in his veins. His mind remained singularly focused on his relief--his pleasure.
He slammed into your pussy and set a brutal pace, earning a cry of pain from your lips. This new angle allowed him better access, sending his cock deeper inside of you. His head brushed against your cervix with each thrust, a stinging pain accompanying the pleasure.
Dean's large palm came down on your ass with a hard smack, eliciting a gasp of surprise from your lips. Your pussy clamped down on his cock as he landed another slap to your round cheek.
"Fuck baby, you like that don't you?" Smack. "You like it when I slap this sexy ass?" Smack. "Fuck--squeezing me so tight, sweetheart." Smack.
He was right though, you loved it. You always had, but there was something extra enjoyable about having your ass smacked by Dean Fucking Winchester. Even if you couldn't verbally express your pleasure to him, your pussy made it well-known.
Dean's right hand gripped your hips tightly, pulling you flush against him as he continued pumping. His left hand trailed up your back until he grabbed a fist full of hair at the base of your neck and pulled. Your head snapped back and you cried out, but you didn't fight him.
"Do you know how badly I've wanted to pull this hair, pretty girl? Fuck--I think about it all the time." His pace was relentless and his hand remained entangled in your hair.
You'd never really noticed him looking at your hair in any particular way, so you assumed once again the pollen was making him say such dirty little things.
After several more thrusts, Dean let go of your hair and pushed down on your upper back, forcing you to press your upper body into the mattress. Dean gripped your hips with both of his hands and slammed into you with an intensity that was unmatched by any of his previous actions.
You had a feeling he was close to another orgasm, at least if his grunts and curses were anything to go by. You clenched down around him again, intent on pushing him past the brink.
It worked like a charm. Dean came with a cry of your name, thrusts continuing as he emptied inside of you once again.
You were exhausted and you hadn't had a single orgasm. Part of you really hoped Dean had gotten it all out of his system, but another part of you didn't want this to end. Even if it wasn't real--even if he didn't actually want to be having sex with you, you liked pretending, if only for a little while.
Dean pulled out of you slowly and rolled you over with a surprising gentleness. You assumed that meant he was satiated and the pollen was out of his system.
When you met his eyes, you were surprised by how brilliantly green they were. You'd almost gotten used to the dark forest color that had taken over as a result of the pollen. He was looking at you with an odd expression you couldn't quite place, but for some reason it made you want to scurry away and hide.
"Better?" you whispered.
He cocked his head to the side and a small smirk played on his lips. "Not even close," he murmured.
His lips met yours in a fiery kiss before you had time to respond. Unlike the previous kisses, this one was more passionate, more intense. It made your body tingle all over and a warmth spread through your veins.
Dean's brain fog had finally cleared enough that he could actually slow down and focus on what was happening--on what he was doing, or rather who. He hated that he'd cum twice without even thinking about you, let alone making you orgasm. Dean prided himself on being an excellent lover and he wasn't about to let you leave this bed unsatisfied.
His cock brushed against your pussy as he shifted to hold you closer. You both inhaled sharply, enjoying the sensation. Dean's lips began to travel down your neck, leaving soft, wet kisses in his wake. He nipped at your pulse point, earning an excited moan from you. He liked hearing that sound, so he sucked on that spot until you were panting heavily beneath him.
His hands traveled over your soft curves, touching and squeezing all the parts of your body you were self-conscious about. Dean didn't seem to give a damn that your stomach wasn't flat, that your hips weren't narrow and your thighs weren't skinny--in fact, he seemed to be reveling in the feeling of softness.
His lips were so gentle as he continued his downward movements. He kissed and licked and sucked on each of your breasts, spending several minutes focusing on each one. "You have such perfect breasts," he murmured.
You were too surprised, and perhaps too lost in pleasure, to formulate any kind of response to his words. Luckily, he didn't seem to need one, and he refocused his attention on you.
Once he was satisfied your breasts had received enough love, he continued moving down your stomach, stopping to place soft kisses to every mark and scar he saw.
When he reached your sweet pussy, he spread your legs as wide as he could and settled down between them. You were surprised at his actions, especially since you knew he was still hard--that he still needed another release.
Dean was now singularly focused on one thing--and that was you. Now that his damn brain was working properly, he wanted to make sure you enjoyed this--even if it was a one time thing because you didn't want him to die, he wasn't about to walk away from this without making you scream his name at least once.
He breathed in deeply, smelling your arousal mixed with his own spend, and he smirked. His eyes flicked up to yours and his mouth latched onto your clit, unleashing an overwhelming assault on your swollen mound.
You gasped as the sudden pleasure washed over you. You couldn't take your eyes off the man between your legs--nor did he take his eyes off you. Every time your hips bucked or you tried to move, his strong arms held you in place so he could continue to watch you.
You were writhing against the sheets in what felt like seconds--it was probably longer, but either way you felt embarrassed at how quickly you fell apart under his touch. Your orgasm tore through you like a hurricane, broken moans dripping from your lips.
To your shock, and perhaps concern, Dean didn't stop his assault on your pussy. Even as you tried to squirm away, he held you in place, desperate to give you another orgasm. You whimpered that it was too much, begged him to give you a break, but all of those words quickly morphed into pleas to keep going--don't stop.
"Dean," you gasped as your fingers slipped into his hair, grabbing hold of the short locks by the roots. Your nails scrapped lightly against his scalp and he let out a soft groan.
His tongue seemed to dance across your clit, creating beautiful designs and languages only he seemed to know. He paid attention to what motions made you quiver, which ones made you moan, and which ones had you tugging on his hair with an iron grip.
"Dean, please--I--so close," you moaned.
He smiled, enjoying the immense pleasure he was giving you just as much as you seemed to enjoy it. A few moments later, you were once again coming apart against his mouth and he eagerly lapped up everything you had to give him.
This time as you tugged on his hair and squirmed away, he obliged, lifting himself up from between your thighs. He licked his lips as he looked down at your blissed out face.
"You taste like heaven, baby," he murmured. "Wanna taste?"
Your pretty (y/e/c) eyes widened and you nodded hesitantly. He smiled wolfishly as he leaned down to kiss you, tongue invading your mouth almost instantly, allowing you to taste yourself.
You moaned into the kiss and he held you even more tightly, lips sealed to yours like he needed your air to breathe.
He wasn't entirely sure how he'd managed to control his urges long enough to coax two orgasms from you, but he could feel that control waning. "I need you, baby," he whispered against your lips. "I need you so badly."
You looked up at him, a small smile playing on your lips. You lifted your hips to brush against his cock and he groaned at the contact. You nipped at his jaw and pulled him back down to you. "Fuck me, Dean. Please."
He groaned. "Yes ma'am."
He didn't hesitate as he gripped his cock firmly and lined it up with your entrance. He slipped inside easily, having plenty of lubrication to assist him. Despite having been inside of you multiple times at this point, he was still taken aback by how fucking incredible you felt.
"God, I love this pussy," he murmured. "She was made for me."
You moaned softly at his words and the feeling of him inside you once again. As he started to move, he was much more gentle and you found yourself enjoying the sensations--perhaps more than you should.
"You're so good for me, (Y/N)," Dean mumbled, already lost in the feeling of you.
You would have given anything to hear him say that, but the words broke your heart a little. Had he had any other choice, he likely wouldn't be here right now--you wouldn't be the one he was fucking.
"Hey," he whispered, a rough, calloused hand running along your cheek as he looked at you. "Where's that pretty little head at?"
You smiled at him. "Right here, Dean."
Somewhere inside of him, he knew you were lying, but the damn pollen was still affecting his senses. He accepted your response and went back to his actions, focusing on the feeling of your pussy wrapped around his cock like a vise.
He wanted to feel you cum one more time...wanted to feel the way you'd squeeze his cock as you came. He wanted to watch you come undone beneath him, lost in pleasure he gave you.
He grabbed a pillow and gently lifted your hips, sliding the pillow under them. This provided him a new, improved angle, allowing him to cage you beneath him and hit that sweet spot inside you.
"Dean!" you gasped as the first thrust hit your g-spot.
He grinned and picked up his pace, slamming into it repeatedly. Each thrust sent you closer to the edge of an orgasm you knew would ruin you. Dean Winchester already made you feel things no other man ever had and his ability in bed was no exception. Damn him.
His thrusts were firm and measured, each one sending wave after wave of pleasure crashing through your body. The familiar tightening in your gut was so intense you thought you might actually explode.
Dean's strong arms were on either side of your head and he was looking down at you with that same strange expression from earlier. "You're so damn beautiful, baby. I wanna watch this pretty face as you cum for me."
You gasped, unprepared for the way his words made you feel. You felt emboldened, so you asked for what you needed. "I need more, Dean."
His hand slipped between your bodies, a single finger gently massaging your clit as he continued to fuck you. "That better, baby?"
You nodded rapidly, earning a soft chuckle from his sweet lips.
"You gonna cum for me beautiful?"
You nodded again.
"Yeah? I want you to keep those pretty eyes open when you cum, okay? Wanna see you fall apart."
"Dean..." you whispered.
"I know, sweet girl. I've got you."
Your brain seemed to short-circuit in that moment. All you could feel was a blinding hot pressure immediately followed by an intense euphoria. You heard someone scream "Dean!" and you belatedly realized it had been your voice.
The intensity of your orgasm sent Dean spiraling over the edge of his own. He hadn't even been prepared for it--the mixture of you screaming his name and the sensations of you squeezing him so tightly and the gorgeous way your face contorted as you came was all he needed.
He emptied into you a third and final time, his cock finally beginning to soften as he helped you ride out your high.
He pulled out and flopped down beside you on the bed, his body aching from what had to be some of the best sex of his life--sex pollen or not.
You were just as sore as Dean--probably more so given you literally couldn't move. The two of you laid there in silence, slowly coming down from the electrical highs you'd experienced, both trying to catch your breath for the first time in what felt like hours.
Dean was the first to recover. "Did I hurt you?" he asked so softly you almost didn't hear him.
You turned your head to look at him and your heart clenched at the expression on his face. He was genuinely worried, brows furrowed in concern. You contemplated lying to him, but you knew he'd see right through you.
"A little," you said honestly.
He winced and his beautiful eyes closed. "I'm so sorry, (Y/N)--I would never hurt you on purpose--ever."
You offered him a small smile he couldn't see, until your hand touched his cheek and he opened his eyes again. "I know."
There were a thousand other things you wanted to say--a thousand words you wanted to string together into just the right sentences, but you couldn't. You wouldn't put yourself through it.
"Shower?" he asked softly.
"I honestly don't think I can stand."
A smirk played on his lips. "That should not make me feel so damn good."
You laughed lightly, glad to hear the teasing tone in his voice that you loved so much.
He managed to pull himself into a sitting position. "It's not ideal, but there is a bathtub..." he trailed off.
"I wouldn't mind a bath," you admitted.
He nodded and got to his feet. He was a little unsteady at first, but managed to make his way to the bathroom. You heard the water running as he filled up the tub.
You laid there thinking about everything that had just happened. This was a position you'd never imagined you'd be in--with anyone, let alone Dean Winchester.
You knew this wasn't something you were going to be able to forget about, but you hoped things would go back to normal between the two of you and eventually this would just be a funny story.
Suddenly, Sam's words from earlier snapped into your mind. "If it's meaningless, one and done. If it's someone you care about...that's another story."
One and done...one and done. This most definitely had not been a 'one and done' scenario. But didn't that mean...? No. No way. Impossible. Dean Winchester does NOT have feelings for you.
You began to rationalize your thought process. Maybe "care about" included a friendly relationship. Yeah...yeah that made the most sense. Of course Dean cares about you. You're his best friend. There couldn't possibly be anything more to it...right?
As if on cue, Dean stepped back into the room. "Bath's ready."
"Okay." You tried to pull yourself up, but you immediately fell back against the mattress, body too worn out to sustain any kind of movement.
Dean chuckled lightly and came up to the side of the bed. He pulled the pillow out from under your hips and slipped his arms under your body, hoisting you up bridal style.
"Jesus!" you yelled. "Put me down! I'm too heavy--you'll throw out your back."
Dean laughed. "Calm down, (Y/N). I just threw you around this bed repeatedly with zero issues. I promise I can carry you to the bathroom without dying."
"But--"
He glared at you and tightened his grip on you as if to prove his point. "Ain't a damn thing wrong with your body, so shut it."
Your mouth closed immediately. His words sent a jolt directly to your core and you were almost annoyed by it. As if three orgasms wasn't enough...
Dean very gently set you on your feet in the bathroom and slowly helped you into the tub. As soon as he got you into a seated position, he got into the tub as well, slipping in behind you.
"Umm...whatcha doing?"
"Taking a bath."
"Isn't the tub a bit small for both of us?"
You could feel him shrug behind you. "I think it's perfect size. Now come here." He grabbed your shoulders and gently pulled you back so you were laying against his chest. "That's better," he muttered.
Your mind began to race once again as you laid there, body tense and uncomfortable.
"Okay, (Y/N), I know you better than anyone, so don't you dare lie to me. Where's your head at?"
"I--" you sighed. "I'm not really sure how to feel."
He nodded. "I know you didn't want this--I feel like I had to literally force myself onto you and I hate that. I know you only agreed so I wouldn't die, but--"
"Woah--stop." You sat up and turned your head to face him. "That's not true at all. You didn't force me to do anything."
"Okay, maybe 'force' is the wrong word...but you did have sex with me to save my life. Do you know how ridiculous that sounds?"
"I'm painfully aware," you muttered.
He ran his hand over his face. "I'm not saying any of this right."
"Then what are you trying to say?"
He bit his lip. "Remember what Sammy said? About...how long the effects would last?"
You nodded.
"Well in case you didn't notice, I had three orgasms."
"Both me and my very sore vagina noticed," you said lightly.
He sighed. "Do you understand what I'm trying to tell you, (Y/N)?"
You turned a little more so you could see his face better. He had that same look he'd had when he was making you feel incredible. "I need to hear you say it..." you whispered.
He nodded and leaned forward so his face was mere inches from yours. "He didn't mean 'care' as in 'we're friends, so I care about you'...he meant 'care' as in 'love'."
Your lips parted and you inhaled sharply.
"So you see, I don't just care about you as a friend...and I don't just love you as a friend...I'm in love with you."
"You--you love me?"
"In love," he repeated. "For as long as I can remember."
"You're in love--with me?"
He chuckled softly. "Who else would I be talking to, baby? Yes, I'm in love with you."
"I--I don't know--" you stuttered.
"The only thing you need to know is how you feel. Do you know how you feel about me, (Y/N)?" he whispered.
You nodded slowly.
"And?"
"I'm in love with you too."
He grinned widely. "Yeah?"
You nodded, cheeks turning red.
He wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you back against him. He looked down at you with that expression he'd been wearing and you suddenly realized what it was...it was love--real, true, beautiful, heart aching love.
He leaned down and placed a soft kiss to your lips, which you returned in kind. He held you tightly, loving the feeling of your body in his arms.
"We better get cleaned up before this water gets cold," he said softly, lips pressing to your hair.
"Mhmm," you hummed.
He chuckled. "Don't you dare fall asleep on me, babe."
"But I'm comfortable," you whined.
He smiled against your cheek. "Give me five minutes to clean you up and then we can sleep, okay?"
You looked over at him and smiled. "Deal."
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fatecantstopme · 3 months
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Not Yours to Take
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Pairing: Dean Winchester x reader
Summary: In which Dean begs Castiel to take away your memories of him to keep you safe.
Warnings: cursing, use of pet names, canon violence.
A/N: Told from Dean's perspective. Shares some similarities to Cass taking Lisa and Ben's memories.
"Absolutely not," I said angrily.
"Dean...come on. I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself on a hunt. You know that," she responded calmly.
"This isn't a normal hunt, (Y/N). I don't want you anywhere near it."
"I don't care. I'm not letting you go alone!"
"I've hunted alone hundreds of times, I'll be fine."
"You just said this isn't a normal hunt. Going alone is a suicide mission. Hell, the whole damn thing could be a trap."
"Exactly!" I yelled. "So why would I put you in danger like that?"
"Our lives are dangerous! We choose to keep fighting every damn day, no matter the cost--why should this be any different?"
"Because I can't lose you!"
She stared at me quietly, sadness etched onto her beautiful face. "Dean..."
"No--don't look at me like that. With Sam...with Sam gone, it's just you and me. You're all I have."
She sighed. "You still have Cass."
I shook my head. "He's never around anymore. Too busy with whatever angel business he's got going on."
"There's no one else to call," she said softly.
I knew she was right--hell, I knew I shouldn't do this alone, but that didn't mean I was going to risk her life. I crossed the short distance between us and gently touched her cheek. "I shouldn't have yelled...but my mind is made up. I need you to stay here."
She looked defeated as her pretty (y/e/c) eyes met mine. I hated seeing that look on her face, but I would rather have her alive and angry at me than dead.
"Fine," she murmured. "Just--for the love of God, be careful."
"Careful is my middle name, darlin'," I joked.
She rolled her eyes. "'Reckless' is more accurate."
I grinned as I placed a soft kiss to her lips. "I'll be back by midnight, okay? I promise."
"Don't make promises you can't keep, Dean Winchester."
"I'm coming back, (Y/N)," I said softly. I turned away from her to grab my jacket and my bag, unable to look at her any longer. She was scared for my life and she had every right to be...
We'd been hearing rumblings in the last several months of a supernatural hit that had been placed on my life. Basically every monster was out to get me--I'd become the hunted. I wished Sam was here every day, but he was one more person I couldn't save. I would be damned if (Y/N) was added to that list.
I started to walk out the motel room door when I heard her inhale a shaky breath. I couldn't look at her--couldn't bare to see the worry in her eyes--so I turned my head back in her direction, but my eyes were trained on the floor. "I love you, baby."
"I love you too, Dean," she whispered.
I walked out the door without looking back, knowing there was no way I would leave if I looked at her.
**********
I made my way to an old abandoned farmhouse just outside of town. We knew there were reports of a demon infestation of some kind. Our intel indicated this was the demons' home base. I had this strange feeling in the pit of my stomach, which intensified the closer I got, but I did my best to ignore it.
I opted to park the Impala about a half mile away to keep the demons from hearing me coming. I walked the rest of the way, staying off the main road.
When the farmhouse finally came into view, I noticed it was completely dark. It didn't look like anyone was home. As I crept closer, I continued to see signs of abandonment and disrepair. There were no indications that anyone--human or not--had been there in a long time.
That feeling in my gut crept back up and the hairs on the back of my neck stood up. My hunter's instinct told me something was very wrong and I would be wise to listen to it.
Suddenly, my phone began to buzz in my pocket. I pulled it out and the screen lit up with (Y/N)'s name. A sense of worry came over me and I answered without hesitation. "Hey baby, you okay?"
I heard muffled sounds on the other end of the phone and my heart began to beat faster. "Babe?"
I listened more closely and I heard what could only be described as sounds of a struggle. I felt a wave of panic wash over me and my grip on the phone tightened. "(Y/N) answer me!" I yelled.
I started running back towards the car, not giving a damn if someone saw or heard me. Whatever was happening to (Y/N) was happening back at the motel--so that was where I needed to be.
I wasn't more than 100 meters from the car when I heard a terrifying sound that cut me straight to the bone. It was clearly a woman's cry of pain--and I knew in an instant it was (Y/N)'s voice.
"(Y/N)!" I yelled into the phone as I ripped open the driver's door of the car and slid in. "(Y/N/N), answer me, please!"
The engine roared to life and I took off in the direction of the motel. There was nothing but silence on the other end of the phone and terror had begun wrapping its icy tendrils around my heart. "Baby, please..." I whispered, not expecting a response.
"I'm sorry, (Y/N) can't come to the phone right now. Can I take a message?" an unfamiliar voice said through the phone.
"Who the hell is this and where is (Y/N)?" I asked angrily.
"She's right here, but she's a little--unconscious--at the moment." The voice chuckled. "Who I am is really not important. All you need to know is I'm here to collect on a bounty."
My foot pressed down harder on the gas and I tried to control my breathing. "Look here you son of a bitch. If you hurt her, I swear to God, I will kill you and everything you have ever loved."
The voice chuckled once more. "The famous Dean Winchester bravado. I had a feeling I would like you."
I had already assumed he knew who I was, but with my suspicions confirmed, my fear for (Y/N) only increased. "I'm the one you want, so why don't you leave her out of this."
"You know, I would, but you've been a very hard man to track down. I figured going after the person you love most would just make my job easier. Now, you'll come right to me."
I knew there was no point in arguing. The panic in my voice when I was yelling for (Y/N) had already made it very clear how I feel about her. "If I hand myself over, you'll let her go?"
There were a few beats of silence before the man responded. "I will agree to those terms."
"Good. I'll be there in 20 minutes."
I hung up the phone and continued to speed towards the motel. I had a feeling that whatever this creature was that had (Y/N) wouldn't have any qualms about ignoring the terms of our deal. I couldn't just go in there and hand myself over, but I also couldn't go in guns blazing. Despite all evidence to the contrary, I'm not suicidal.
I exhaled heavily, mind set on what I needed to do. I didn't want to--I didn't even know if he'd respond, but I didn't have any other choice.
"Castiel," I said aloud. "I, uhh--I could really use your help here."
All I could hear was the roar of the car's engine.
"Come on, Cass--I know you're busy, but this is important. I'm not praying to you just for fun."
Still nothing.
"Damnit, Cass! It's (Y/N). I need you, man. Please." I hated begging, but desperate times and all that...
"I'm here Dean."
I jumped slightly as Castiel appeared in the seat beside me. "I know I called you, but it's freaky as hell when you do that."
"Sorry," he said simply. "You said this was important?"
"Some asshole kidnapped (Y/N) and I need your help."
"Why would someone kidnap (Y/N)?"
"Oh, I don't know Cass--maybe it's because I have a goddamn bounty on my ass!" I said sarcastically.
"I see. They're using (Y/N) to get to you."
"Good job. Now we're all caught up," I grumbled. "I don't know what we're dealing with, but my money is on a demon--probably a group of demons."
"I can see why you called me."
I shot him an annoyed glance, but didn't comment on his statement. "I left her at the motel thinking she'd be safer there--I never thought one of these monsters would come after her to get to me."
"It's not your fault, Dean."
I was surprised he said that--because it was definitely completely my fault. If I had just let her come with me, she wouldn't be in this situation. "Then who's fault is it, Cass?"
The angel remained silent. I sighed and focused my attention back on the road. "We're about 15 minutes out."
"Do you have a plan?"
I thought about it for a moment. "Yeah...it's not a great plan, but it's all I got."
**********
"You're right, that's a terrible plan," Cass commented.
"You got a better one?" When he didn't respond, I continued. "Didn't think so."
"We have no idea how many of them there are."
"I'm aware of that, Cass."
"Just making sure."
"Just...poof out of here so they don't see you. This only works if they think I'm alone."
I could tell he didn't like the idea of me walking into a trap by myself, but we really didn't have another option. When I glanced back over to the passenger seat a moment later, he was gone.
I took a deep breath. "God I really hope this works..."
**********
Ten minutes later, I pulled into the parking lot of the motel. I looked around and spotted at least five people milling about outside, all trying to look like they weren't focused on me.
I got out of the car and started walking to the room, heart hammering in my chest. I had salt and holy water in my pockets, and an angel blade tucked into my waistband. I was as prepared as I could possibly be on such short notice.
When I reached the door, I turned the handle and was surprised to find it unlocked. As I stepped inside, my eyes scanned the room as quickly as possible. There were at least four demons in the room and (Y/N) was tied to a chair in the center.
"Dean! So nice of you to join us," one of them said. It was the same voice I had spoken to on the phone.
"I'm here, as promised. So why don't you just let her go."
The demon's eyes flashed black and he gave me a dark smile. "Oh please...you didn't actually think I was going to let her go, did you?"
My jaw tightened and I felt anger bubbling beneath the surface of my skin. While I hadn't assumed he would let her go, I really didn't like hearing it.
"I warned you, you son of a bitch," I ground out. My eyes flicked over to (Y/N)'s unconscious form and I took note of the obvious injuries. God only knew what they'd done to her before I got here.
"Yes, yes, murder, blah, blah, blah," the demon muttered. "Unfortunately, I'd already caused her quite a bit of pain before I made that promise, so there was really no use in keeping it."
My hands clenched into fists and I fought the urge to attack. Four to one were not good odds...nine to one was even worse. I needed Castiel to pick off the demons outside before I picked a fight with these ones.
"So which one are you? Demon #4,235?" I asked.
"I am Ariel," he answered smugly.
I choked out a laugh. "You're the little mermaid?"
The demon growled lowly. "I am significantly more powerful than a mermaid." With a flick of his wrist, I went flying against the wall, unable to move no matter how hard I struggled.
"I really hate Disney," Ariel grumbled. "At least I'll be rewarded for delivering your head on a silver platter."
"That's nice," I grunted. "I hope King Triton is pleased."
Ariel tightened his fist and I suddenly couldn't breathe. This wasn't the first time I'd felt this sensation, but it sucked every damn time.
There was a strangled cry from outside the room and it got the attention of all four demons. Ariel loosened his grip on me and I was able to breathe again. "What was that?" he hissed.
The other three demons shrugged in confusion.
"One of you go check it out."
None of them looked like they wanted to go, but eventually one stepped forward and went outside to check. He left the door open behind him, but he never came back in.
"For the love of Hell," Ariel muttered as he moved towards the open doorway.
"Not Hell," Castiel said from inside the room, angel blade slicing through the skin of the nearest demon.
Ariel's hold on me kept me pinned to the wall, but I felt it weaken as he spun around in surprise. Cass had grabbed ahold of the last demon and sunk his blade into the demon's chest. He glanced up at Ariel and took a menacing step in his direction.
The demon immediately abandoned his meat suit, a massive cloud of black smoke escaping into the night. I fell to my knees as his power left with him, body aching from the intensity.
"(Y/N)," I gasped out as I got to my feet and rushed to her side. "(Y/N/N) can you hear me?"
She didn't respond and I felt a moment of panic as I rushed to cut the binds around her wrists and ankles. She fell into my arms and I picked her up with ease. "I need to get her to a hospital."
"Of course."
"Uh-uh. Don't you leave yet. I know you can't heal her, but I might still need your help."
Castiel looked perplexed, but he nodded and followed me to the car.
**********
I wanted to stay by (Y/N)'s side when we got to the hospital, but the nurses told me to stay back in the waiting room. Castiel took a seat to wait patiently, but I had too much adrenaline to sit down. I paced back and forth for a good half hour, my boots wearing a pattern into the old carpet.
People were giving me odd looks, which I ignored. I was singularly focused on remaining in control of my emotions as we waited for news about (Y/N)'s condition. In the strangers' defenses, I did have a fair amount of blood on my clothes, none of which belonged to me, and I probably looked a little angry--okay, maybe a lot angry.
"Riley," a doctor called from the front desk. It was the name I had given when I brought (Y/N) in.
I practically ran to the doctor, Castiel following behind me. "How is she?" I asked, worry lacing my voice.
"She was quite clearly in a rather violent altercation, but she's going to be alright. She sustained a head injury, as well as several lacerations and bruises, but she's awake and asking for 'Dean'. I assume that's one of you?"
My body visibly relaxed. "I'm Dean."
"Would you like to go see her?"
I nodded and the doctor gestured for me to follow. When Cass tried to come with us, the doctor shook his head. "I'm sorry, but only one person at a time."
I turned to look at him, but Cass waived me on. "Go. She needs you."
I nodded gratefully and followed the doctor to her room. When I walked through the door, I saw the woman I loved lying in the bed, looking smaller and weaker than I'd ever seen her. It was enough to nearly shatter my heart into a thousand pieces.
She looked up at me when I stepped through the door and offered me a soft smile. "Dean," she murmured lowly.
"Hey baby," I said softly. Tears were stinging my eyes, but I refused to let them fall. I didn't want her to know how emotional I was feeling in the moment.
"I'll leave you two to talk," the doctor said before closing the door behind him.
I crossed the room and grabbed her hand, giving it a tight squeeze. "I'm sorry," I whispered.
"For what?"
"For leaving you alone. I didn't think they would come after you..."
She squeezed my hand and a gentle smile graced her pretty face. "It's not your fault, Dean. Besides, I'm fine."
I nodded and bit my lip. "Thanks to Cass," I admitted.
"Thanks to both of you," she insisted.
I offered her a small smile. "I'm glad you're okay."
She tried to pull herself up into a more comfortable sitting position, but a gasp of pain escaped her lips and she slumped back against the pillows.
"Hey, don't try to move too much. Let me help you."
"Thanks," she mumbled.
I started to help her adjust so she'd be more comfortable. "Lean forward for me, baby, let me fix these pillows."
She nodded and leaned forward, giving me access to the crappy hospital pillows that were wedged between her back and the bed. As I moved them, her hospital gown shifted slightly, revealing her right shoulder blade to me. My body stiffened and I inhaled sharply as I took in the mangled skin where her anti-possession tattoo had once been.
I tried to keep my exterior calm as I finished adjusting the pillows and she leaned back against them, wincing at the pain. My face must have betrayed me, because when she looked up at me, a worried expression crossed her face.
"Dean? What's wrong?"
"Nothing," I lied smoothly. "I just don't like seeing you in pain."
She nodded, but didn't look entirely convinced. I had no way of knowing if she was already possessed or not, but there was one surefire way to find out. I reached into my pocket and pulled out the small vial of holy water I had there from earlier in the evening.
Unfortunately, she noticed my movements and her eyes narrowed. "I really wouldn't do that if I were you," she hissed, eyes turning black as night. "You'll hurt your precious (Y/N)."
Anger flared up inside me. "Get the hell out of my girl, you black eyed son of a bitch."
She laughed. "Why would I do that when I'm having so much fun in here? She's in here with me, you know. Wide awake and fighting."
She got out of the bed with shocking speed and sent me flying across the room. Apparently the demon had been faking pain to make me think it was (Y/N).
"You know what the best part of all this is, Dean?" The demon asked as it approached me. "She's going to watch helplessly as I gut you like a pig. I might even make her eat your entrails, just for fun."
I winced as I pulled myself into a sitting position. I was getting really tired of being tossed around like a damn rag doll. "I think you underestimate her," I said with a grunt of discomfort.
"The fight weakened her before I ever possessed her. She's not strong enough to overpower me." The demon leaned forward and grabbed my face in its hands. "You're not much of a threat either without your little angel pal--and you won't do a damn thing to hurt your beloved (Y/N)."
The demon was right about one thing--I wouldn't hurt (Y/N), at least not irreparably. I still had the bottle of holy water in my hand and I made the split section decision to toss it into her face. "Sorry, baby," I muttered as the demon jumped back in pain.
I managed to get to my feet, but the demon flung me against the wall again, holding me still with its power. I managed to gasp out (Y/N)'s name before the demon began to suffocate me.
I stared at the face of the person I loved most in this hellscape of a world and silently pleaded with her to wake up--to fight back. I didn't want to die, but more importantly, I didn't want her to have to live with the guilt.
I was starting to fade, I knew I was going to black out soon and then it would be all over for me. I struggled against the power that held me in place, but it was useless. I saw the demon pull a knife out of a bag of (Y/N)'s clothes. I recognized it instantly as the knife I'd given her as a gift when we first got together. Fitting that it would be the weapon that kills me.
The demon began to approach me and for the first time in a long time, I felt like I was truly about to die. What was worse was the accompanying fear along with it. Would I be going back to Hell? Would (Y/N) be okay without me? Would I get to see my brother again?
Suddenly, the demon's black eyes flickered back to (Y/N)'s normal (y/e/c) ones. Her hand shook and she dropped the knife she was holding, a strained gasp escaping her throat. The demon's power over me faded in an instant, and I sunk to the floor, gasping for breath.
"Dean," she gasped, her face contorted in pain as she struggled to hold the demon at bay. "I can't--I can't hold him off much longer."
"Cass!" I yelled, trying to summon the angel for help.
"Exorcise him or kill me," (Y/N) begged. "I can't let him kill you, but I'm not strong enough to maintain control."
I suddenly wished I'd paid more attention when Sammy tried to teach me Latin...at least the words to the damn exorcism. "I can't remember the words," I said in distress.
"Then you have to kill me," she pleaded.
"I can't. I won't."
"The demon--it won't...won't let me recite the words."
"Son of a bitch," I muttered under my breath. I pulled myself off the floor and took a step towards her. "Hang on for me, baby. Please."
She nodded and I turned my back to her to open the door. I stuck my head out in the hallway and saw Castiel sitting patiently at the other end. Clearly no one had noticed the commotion happening in this room, including the angel. I stepped out into the hallway and waved to him, hoping he would see me.
Cass looked up at me and I waved to him, motioning for him to come here immediately. He stood up and started walking towards me and I gestured for him to come to the room. I ducked back in and closed the door. A second later, Cass appeared inside the room.
"What's going on, Dean?"
"She's possessed."
"That's not possible."
"The demons cut off my anti-possession tattoo," (Y/N) said through gritted teeth. "So, a little help would be nice."
Castiel fixed his gaze on her and his eyes widened slightly. "I can see the demon within you."
"That's disturbing," I muttered. "Get it out of her."
"I can't without killing her."
"What? Use your mojo, dude. That's what you do."
"Haven't you ever noticed my 'mojo' as you call it burns out a person's eyes?"
I thought back to all the times I'd seen Cass kill a demon and realized he was right. "Shit."
"Do you know an exorcism?" (Y/N) managed to ask. "Preferably a fast one."
"I know where I can get one." With those words, Castiel disappeared into thin air.
"Not a great time to disappear, Cass!" I yelled at nothing.
"He'll be back," (Y/N) said. "I think."
"Are you okay? How much longer can you hold him off?"
"He's really strong, so not much longer. Also, he really doesn't like you."
"Most demons don't," I said with a shrug.
"He keeps muttering something about the little mermaid. I don't know why."
My eyes widened slightly. "Well I do. His name is Ariel...and I may have made a little mermaid joke when we met earlier."
She managed a weak laugh. "A demon named Ariel. Awesome."
In any other circumstances, I would have laughed with her, but I was too worried to appreciate the humor.
"I have the exorcism," Castiel said as he reappeared beside me.
"Great!" I grabbed the book from his hand and realized it was my dad's journal. I held the leather tightly as I began to read the words from the page. "Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas omnis incursio infernalis adversarii..."
The more I read, the more intense (Y/N)'s struggle became. She fell to her knees and cried out in pain, but I kept reading. I needed that demon to get the hell out of her body.
"Ergo, Draco maledicte et omnis legio diabolica, adiuramus te! Adinos!" The moment I finished speaking, (Y/N)'s head flew back and black smoke escaped her mouth.
After a few seconds, her body collapsed on the floor and I rushed to her side. "(Y/N)!"
She lifted her head and her eyes met mine. She offered me a weak smile and said, "I'm fine."
I breathed a sigh of relief and helped her off the floor and back into bed. "Cass, go grab an anti-possession necklace from the trunk of my car."
As soon as the words were out of my mouth, Cass was gone.
"I feel like I owe you another apology," I said softly.
"For what?"
"Well...you didn't exactly get my first apology and I also need to apologize for letting you get possessed."
"You didn't let anything happen, Dean. None of this was your fault. Shit like this happens to people in this life...I know what I signed up for."
Cass reappeared with the necklace before I could respond. I took it from him and placed it around her neck, breathing a sigh of relief once it was in place.
"I will wait outside," Cass announced. He disappeared again before either of us could say a word.
"Angels," I muttered under my breath, earning a light laugh from (Y/N).
I turned my attention back to her and I sighed. I hated seeing her like this--I hated seeing her hurt and in pain. It made me want to kill whatever had caused her pain, only this time it was all my fault.
"Dean, I wanna go home," she whispered.
I wished more than anything that we had an actual home to go to, instead of yet another shitty motel. I wished I could give her the life she deserved, but I knew that would never be in the cards for us.
"Alright," I murmured, placing a soft kiss to her forehead. "Lemme talk to the doctor."
**********
We drove for over an hour to a slightly nicer motel in another town. I didn't want her recovering in that rundown place--the same place she'd been attacked and possessed.
(Y/N) was asleep in the backseat when we arrived, having fallen asleep almost immediately after leaving the hospital. Cass and I had ridden in silence the entire time, allowing me to have time to think.
I got us a room while Cass waited with (Y/N) in the car. When I returned, I gently woke her up and helped her into our room.
"I wanna take a shower," she stated. "I feel disgusting."
I knew the feeling, so I agreed to her request even though I was worried about her falling. Besides, I needed some time to talk to Cass alone.
I helped her into the bathroom and started the shower for her. She refused my help any further and shooed me out of the room. "I'm weak, Dean, but I'm not an invalid."
I chuckled and threw my hands up in surrender. "Just yell if you need me."
She waved me off again and I walked out of the bathroom, leaving her to her own devices.
Cass had sat down in a chair near the door and I made my way towards him. I didn't want to have this conversation...I didn't want to ask of this of him, but I didn't see another option.
"Thanks for coming to the rescue today," I began.
"You know I will always help you," he responded.
I nodded. "I actually need your help one more time before you go."
"With what?"
I took a deep breath. "This bounty thing--the price on my head--it's putting the people I love at risk. More risk than I ever imagined." I started pacing back and forth as I spoke, letting the words just flow. "What happened today just solidified it for me, ya know? I'm obviously living at risk every day of my life, but that doesn't mean I should be dragging other people into it. I mean, look at all I've lost so far--you and (Y/N) are all I have left."
I paused, needing a minute to just breathe. "My worst fears almost came true today. (Y/N) was hurt because of me...she could have died because of me. Then she was possessed by a demon who wanted to kill me? Imagine if he'd been successful! She would have had to live with that guilt the rest of her life and it would have killed her. I don't want this for her--any of it. She deserves better and I need you to give it to her."
I sat down on the bed facing Cass with a sigh. My head dropped into my hands and I felt tears pressing against the backs of my eyelids.
"What is it you're asking me to do?"
I stayed silent for a moment, taking those precious seconds to make sure this was the right decision. When I was certain, I looked up at my friend, sadness etched into my face. "I need you to take away her memories. I want her to forget about this life--to forget any of this exists. I want her to forget about demons and angels and all the shit that goes bump in the night. I want her to forget about the death and the pain and the endless battles. I want her to live a happy, normal, safe life--far away from this...far away from me."
Cass stared at me in silence for a moment. Neither one of us were aware our conversation was no longer private--the shower had turned off over a minute ago.
"Do you understand what you're asking? She will know nothing of this life, which means she won't remember you."
The tears finally pushed through my mental block and slid down my face. "I know. I hate the idea of her being out in the world loving someone who isn't me, but I can handle it because she'll be safe. She'll be happy. She needs to forget me...or she'll never be safe."
I heard the bathroom door open and I quickly wiped my eyes, trying to hide the pain I was feeling. I turned towards her, trying to put a smile on my face, but it slipped away the moment I saw her expression.
She was standing there, hair wet and dripping, wrapped in nothing but a bath towel. Her eyes were filled with sadness and a pain so deep it broke my heart.
"Castiel, will you give us a minute, please?" she asked softly, but firmly.
"I'll just be...outside," he muttered as he disappeared.
"(Y/N)--"
"No, Dean. This is my time to talk," she said cutting me off. "Sometimes you make me so incredibly angry--like a violent level of angry I didn't even know I was capable of. You're so...so...arrogant. So certain you're right and every one else is wrong. You make decisions without stopping to think how those decisions affect other people--you make decisions on my behalf without even consulting me. Do you ever stop to think about how I feel?"
"(Y/N), I--it's for your own protection--"
"Damn my protection, Dean! And damn you!" she yelled. "You don't get to decide for me. You don't get to determine my life path! You don't wanna be with me, then that's your prerogative, but don't you dare make that decision for me. I chose this life with eyes wide open. I knew the dangers, I knew the risks, and I chose it anyway. I chose you, Dean Winchester, knowing everything that comes along with that."
I starred at her in stunned silence--I'd never seen her this angry before.
Tears streamed down her face as she continued. "I have loved every moment of our life together--the good and the bad. I wouldn't choose anything else, certainly not a 'normal' life. I love hunting monsters with you. I love saving people with you. I love traveling the country with you. I love living in shitty, dingy motels with you. I love getting into fights, coming home bruised and bleeding, battling our way through everything that comes our way. Do you know why? Because I'm with you--because I love you. So don't you dare take my memories from me, Dean Winchester. They are not yours to take."
I stood up and crossed the room with surprising speed. I wrapped her up in my arms, holding her tightly to my chest. She leaned into me, ignoring the pain her body was in. I kissed her on top of her head and held her for a long time before she finally pulled away from me.
"I just want to protect you," I whispered.
"I know, Dean...but the safest place for me will always be right beside you. There's no place else I'd rather be."
I touched her face and closed my eyes, just feeling her warmth emanate from within. I knew I couldn't live without her--at least not happily...I needed her more than I ever cared to admit. I wanted to protect her--to keep her safe, but maybe she was right. Maybe the safest place for her was in my arms. I would die to protect her--I would kill to protect her. Who else would be willing to do that?
"I love you, (Y/N) (Y/L/N), and I'm sorry."
She smiled up at me. "I love you too, Dean...and I know you are. Just don't try that shit again."
I chuckled lightly and leaned down to kiss her. Part of me hated admitting she was right, but I knew from that moment on, I would never let her go. Never.
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fatecantstopme · 4 months
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Hi! I was wondering, are all your fics plus size reader? Or just the ones labeled that?
Just the ones labeled that way! 😊
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fatecantstopme · 4 months
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This Isn't Real
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Pairing: Dean Winchester x plus size!reader
Summary: When you get kidnapped by a Djinn, Dean and Sam risk everything to save you.
Warnings: canon violence, talk of death, cursing. Shit ton of angst. Some fluff. SMUT, oral (F receiving), unprotected sex (P in V).
You woke up in an unfamiliar room as the sun began to peek through the curtains. Your eyes took a moment to adjust as you glanced around the room, desperately trying to remember where you were and how you got there.
Your mind flashed to a dark warehouse and vague memories of searching for something there, but the harder you tried to remember, the farther away those memories became.
You sat up with a groan and began to rub your temples. Where the hell am I?
You felt someone stir in the bed beside you and realized you weren't alone. You turned to look at the person, but you heard his voice before your brain could process what you were seeing.
"Hey baby, you okay?" he asked groggily.
"What?" you managed to croak out--shock settling into your bones as you stared at the man beside you.
He sat up, revealing his bare, toned, muscular chest. You looked away quickly, not wanting to be caught staring. Why the fuck am I in bed with Dean Winchester?
He touched your cheek and turned your head towards him. "You okay? I heard you groan."
"I--um...I'm fine," you stuttered. "What, uh--what happened last night?"
He raised his eyebrows as he regarded you. "We came home from the party early because you were feeling a little...frisky."
"Party?" you asked in confusion.
"Damn, baby, how much did you have to drink?" he asked with a chuckle.
Your face must have show how deeply confused you were, because he seemed to take pity on you.
"It was Sam's birthday party, babe. Remember? We came home, had some damn incredible sex, and fell asleep. Any of this ringing a bell?"
"Sam's birthday?" you muttered, then belatedly yelled, "WE HAD SEX?"
Dean laughed. "Girl, you gotta lay off the whiskey sours. They're messing with your memory." He kissed you on your forehead before dragging himself out of bed.
You were now faced with a very naked Dean Winchester and you averted your gaze out of habit.
"I'm gonna take a shower. Wanna join me?" he asked with a smirk.
"I...uh--I...not right now."
He looked a little crestfallen, but he simply shrugged. "Suit yourself."
As soon as he'd entered the bathroom, you jumped out of bed and looked around the room. Something had to be going on. Something insane. This wasn't real life--it couldn't be.
You glanced down at yourself and realized you were completely naked. You quickly threw on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt before continuing your search around the room.
You saw a couple framed pictures sitting on the bureau near the bathroom door. You picked one up and felt your jaw drop. It was you and Dean on a beach. You grabbed the second one and found it was also of you and Dean, only this time you were apparently in Paris. The third and final picture was, of course, of you and Dean. It looked like some kind of park and he was on his knee in front of you, holding a small blue box in his hand.
You glanced at your left hand in disbelief, but there it was--a very large, very beautiful diamond ring. "We're engaged?" you mumbled in shock.
You set the picture down and collapsed onto the bed. Your mind was reeling and you had absolutely no memory of any of this.
You knew Dean--you'd known him for years--but you were just friends. You hunted together. That was all. Sure, you'd always liked him more than you should have, but he didn't reciprocate it. You certainly didn't wake up in the same bed, and you definitely weren't engaged to him.
When you woke up yesterday, you'd been in a motel room with Sam and Dean...you were hunting something. You closed your eyes and desperately tried to remember what it was. It was almost as if something was blocking that specific memory--no matter how hard you tried, you couldn't grasp it.
Dean appeared from the bathroom, clad in nothing but a towel around his waist. He saw you sitting on the edge of the bed with your head in your hands. Concern knotted his eyebrows together and he immediately crossed the short distance between you.
"(Y/N/N)?" he asked softly when he reached your side.
You looked up at him and felt your heart skip a beat. He was beautiful and perfect...and it was downright offensive. How anyone could look that good was a mystery. An even bigger mystery was why in the hell he was engaged to you.
He knelt down in front of you and took your hands into his. You stared at them, feeling the warmth spread throughout your body.
"What's going on with you?" he asked gently.
Tears filled your eyes as you looked into his beautiful green ones. "I don't know where I am," you whispered. "I don't...I don't remember any of this. I--I don't think it's real."
Dean's face lit up in surprise. "What do you mean? Of course it's real." He squeezed your hands comfortingly. "Do you feel that, baby? I'm real and so are you."
"Then why can't I remember?"
He looked sad. "I don't know, sweetheart. Maybe you just need to give it a little time and then your memories will come back."
You shook your head. "I was in a motel yesterday. A motel with you and Sam. We were going hunting."
Dean looked confused. "Hunting? I've never been hunting and I'm pretty sure you haven't either. Are you sure that wasn't a dream?"
"It felt--real. It was real," you insisted.
"Okay," he said soothingly. "What makes you think that was real and this isn't?"
"I remember it," you whispered.
"And you don't remember our lives together," he finished softly.
You nodded.
He reached up and tucked a hair behind your ear. "I don't know why you can't remember, but I'll be damned if I don't help you figure it out."
He stood up. "Why don't we go see Sam? Maybe going to his house will jog your memory of last night?"
"Okay."
He grabbed your hand and helped you to your feet. "Let's get dressed, pretty girl. Everything's gonna be okay."
You nodded, feeling a little more confident that everything might really be okay.
**********
When Dean pulled up in front of Sam's house, you looked out the window, but didn't have any rush of memories. Nothing about it looked familiar.
Dean came around and opened the car door for you and took your hand as you stepped out. He watched your face for any sign of recognition, but he saw none.
"Come on, beautiful," he said gently, leading you to the front door.
A few moments after Dean rang the doorbell, Sam appeared at the door with a warm smile. "Hey guys! Come on in."
Dean led the way and you followed gratefully.
"So, uh...Dean mentioned you're having some memory problems?" Sam asked gently.
You nodded. "I--uh--I don't really remember much of anything really."
"Hmm," Sam hummed. "Sit. Let's talk."
You and Dean sat on the couch and Sam sat across from you on a chair. Dean explained the morning's events to his brother, while you sat quietly. There wasn't much more to say.
"So what do you remember?" Sam asked you.
"Hunting," you answered honestly. "I remember hunting with you and Dean. We've been doing it for years together."
"Hunting?" Sam asked in surprise. "We've never been hunting in our lives--and certainly not all together."
"Do you believe in ghosts?" you blurted.
Both men looked shocked. "I'm sorry, what?" Sam asked.
"Ghosts, goblins, ghouls, vampires, werewolves...all the things that go bump in the night. Do you believe in them?"
Sam and Dean exchanged worried looks. "No, (Y/N)...those are just stories," Dean said gently.
You sighed sadly. "That's what we hunt," you whispered so softly they almost didn't hear you.
"We hunt monsters?" Sam asked incredulously.
You just nodded, not trusting yourself to say anything else.
"Baby, that really does sound like a dream. An intense dream, perhaps, but a dream nonetheless," Dean said calmly.
"Then why does it feel so real?" you asked softly.
He looked sad. "I don't know, sweetheart. I really don't."
"What about right now?" Sam asked. "Does this feel real?"
You nodded.
"As real as hunting monsters?" he prodded.
You nodded again.
"Then why would you think this isn't real?"
"I guess I don't have a good answer for that," you admitted. "Hunting monsters does sound kinda crazy, doesn't it?"
Dean offered you a soft smile. "A little bit, baby. Especially for a lawyer, a mechanic, and a veterinarian."
Hearing the careers the three of you apparently had sparked another question in your mind. "Dean, how did we meet?"
"What?" he asked in surprise.
"How did we meet?"
"We met when Sam found that stray dog with the broken leg. He asked me to drive him to the nearest vet office...you happened to be the vet on duty that day."
You closed your eyes and tried desperately to remember meeting him, to no avail. You also couldn't remember veterinary school or even having a job at all.
"Hey, it's okay," Dean said sweetly, upon noticing your distress. "You don't have to remember right now."
Tears filled your eyes again, upset and ashamed at your inability to remember your life.
Dean wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close. He kissed the top of your head and whispered, "Everything's okay, baby. I love you. You're safe."
You knew without a shadow of a doubt he was right about one thing--you were safe. You had never felt safer with anyone in your life than Dean Winchester and it didn't matter that you couldn't remember this reality...you still knew he would protect you with his life.
**********
Dean's POV:
It had been three hours since (Y/N) went missing and I was losing my mind. Sam and I had looked everywhere...we should have never let her wander off on her own.
My brother was clearly having similar thoughts as he said, "You shouldn't have let her go out there alone."
"Let her?" I asked in annoyance. "I didn't let her do anything. She got mad at me and stormed off. That's not my fault."
Sam glared at me. "You're the one who pissed her off and you didn't go after her."
I kicked a rock that was at my feet as hard as I could. I hated that he was right and I hated myself for upsetting her. I was terrified of what would happen if we didn't find her in time. "I know," I admitted softly.
Sam's expression softened. "We're gonna find her, Dean."
I looked up at him and sighed. "We've looked everywhere. It's like she just disappeared."
"She didn't just disappear. Something or someone took her."
"We've been in this town for 6 hours. It's not like we've pissed anyone off yet," I grumbled.
"Yeah, I know. Besides, (Y/N) could fight off most humans she came across..."
"She went looking for the Djinn, Sam. I just know it."
"Why would she do that on her own? She's not stupid."
I groaned loudly. "Because she had something to prove!"
"What are you talking about?"
"I was mad at her, okay? I was mad she was so reckless during our last hunt and I lashed out at her. I told her there was no way she could do this job without us, but we were perfectly capable of handling it on our own. I wanted her to stay at the motel while we took care of the Djinn."
"Dean, she saved your life!"
"I know!" I yelled. "I didn't ask her to do that! She could have died."
"That's the life, Dean. We all could die at any time."
I glared at him. "If she died saving me, I would never forgive myself. Never."
Sam sighed. He knew what I was trying to say without me having to say it. I wouldn't admit the truth and he knew it. "You should've known telling her she couldn't do something would make her want to do it."
I closed my eyes. "I'll regret it for the rest of my life, Sam."
Sam shook his head and opened the passenger door of the Impala. "You won't have to because we're going to find her."
I watched my brother get in the car and I took a deep breath. "I hope you're right," I whispered before getting into the car myself.
**********
It had been a couple days since you'd woken up in a strange place. You weren't sure why your memories were gone, but you'd started to feel comfortable. You'd settled easily into a routine, and those memories you'd had of hunting had begun to fade.
Dean had suggested you take some time off of work until you felt more comfortable...and perhaps your memories would return during that time. You'd taken his advice since you had zero memory of college and you didn't feel comfortable having animals' lives in your hands.
Dean had been the perfect boyfriend--fiancé. He was incredibly patient and sweet and it warmed your heart to know just how much he cared. Any time you forgot something that had happened, he would gently remind you about it without making you feel embarrassed or uncomfortable.
It surprised you to realize how deeply you cared for him--how much you truly loved him. He loved you, that much was clear, but you had yet to share those feelings with him. At least, not in your recollection.
You'd spent the day relaxing on your back deck with a good book. You couldn't remember the last time you'd felt this happy. An hour before Dean would be home from work, you went inside and began preparing dinner. You wanted to make him something special as a thank you for being such a good partner.
You were standing in the kitchen finishing up dinner when Dean got home. He came into the room and inhaled deeply. "Smells amazing, babe. Whatcha making?"
You turned to him with a smile. "Lasagna."
He grinned. "I freaking love lasagna." He came over and kissed you softly. "And I love you."
You smiled warmly. "I love you too, Dean."
His beautiful green eyes lit up at your words. He stepped forward and pressed you up against the counter. His arms snaked around your waist and he kissed you deeply.
You squirmed a little when it became hard to breathe. Dean chuckled as he broke the kiss, allowing you to inhale rapidly.
"You're covered in grease and you're getting it on me," you teased. "Go shower and dinner will be ready by the time you're done."
He smiled and kissed you again. "Fine, fine. I'll shower." He stepped away from you and turned to go towards the bedroom.
"Oh, and Dean?"
"Yeah?"
"I've got a surprise for dessert. I think you're gonna like it."
He grinned ear to ear. "Is it you?" he teased.
"Dean Winchester!" you yelled with a laugh. You threw a hand towel at him and he ran from the room to escape, laughing all the way to the bathroom.
You rolled your eyes and went back to finishing dinner. You also pulled a pie out of the fridge and set it on the counter to finish defrosting. You'd gone to the store earlier that day and picked up an apple pie--Dean's favorite.
15 minutes later, Dean came into the kitchen looking refreshed and clean. You were setting the table, so you told him to have a seat and you'd bring out the lasagna.
"Do you want a beer?" you called from the kitchen.
"Water's fine, babe," he called back.
You froze for a moment. In all the time you'd known Dean, he had never turned down a beer...certainly not in favor of water. A voice in your head was screaming that something wasn't right, but you ignored it. You shook your head to clear your mind and quickly poured him a glass of water instead.
The two of you ate dinner, enjoying each other's company. You listened to Dean talk about his day and he asked about yours. It all felt very mundane...very domesticated.
You kept a smile on your face throughout dinner, even though something was bothering you. You couldn't help but feel like you were meant for something more--like your life had a different purpose. Maybe you were just in your head too much since you weren't working at the moment. That had to be it...
"Sweetheart?" Dean asked, interrupting your thoughts.
"Hmm?" you hummed in response.
"You okay?"
You smiled. "I'm fine, Dean. I was just lost in thought."
His eyes scanned your face for a few moments, but he eventually smiled. You were doing a good job of hiding your thoughts from him, but you weren't sure if that was a good thing.
Once dinner was done, you began to clean up. Dean insisted on helping, which you appreciated. You kept him busy with packing the lasagna away in leftover containers so he wouldn't notice the pie on the other counter.
"Ready for dessert?" you asked sweetly.
He smiled. "Sure, baby. What'd you make?"
"I bought it, but I think you'll still like it. Go sit back down and I'll bring it out."
He nodded and went back to the dining room.
You cut a generous slice of the pie for him and a much smaller piece for yourself. Pie had never been your favorite dessert, but Dean loved pie more than he loved anything in this world. You didn't mind having something that wasn't your first choice because you knew it would make him happy.
You came into the dining room and placed the large slice in front of him before sitting down with your own.
He was quiet for a moment and you felt that same voice creeping into your head again. "Dean? It's apple pie..."
"Yeah, thanks (Y/N/N). Kind of a big piece though, don't you think?"
The voice in your head got a little louder. "Sure, but you never turn down a big piece of pie. I've seen you eat an entire pie before." You chuckled at the memory...except Dean looked different in your mind. Rougher, but somehow happier.
"I suppose you're right. I can make some room in my stomach for it. I guess I'm just not the biggest fan of apple pie."
You froze and the voice began screaming at you. SOMETHING IS WRONG! "Apple pie is your favorite," you said quietly.
His face changed as he looked at you. He smiled warmly and said, "You're right. It is my favorite. Thank you for thinking of me."
Your heart was beating so quickly you thought it might actually explode. The man in front of you had gone from 'not the biggest fan of apple pie' to 'apple pie is my favorite' in the span of 30 seconds.
In that moment everything changed. It was no longer just a voice inside your head screaming at you to leave...you realized it was your voice.
"This isn't real," you whispered.
"What'd you say, sweetheart?"
You looked up at Dean--the man wearing Dean's face. "None of this is real." You stood up. "I'm sorry, but I have to go."
He sat there in shock as you rushed towards the door. You weren't exactly sure where you needed to go, but you had a feeling you would find it. You were out the door and running down the street before he even realized what had happened.
**********
Dean's POV:
"This is the last vacant warehouse in this godforsaken city and I swear to God if she's not here, I'm going to kill someone."
"Since I'm the only person here, maybe you don't kill anyone," Sam said calmly.
I glared at him, but didn't say anything. We'd been searching for hours and we hadn't found a damn thing. Not even a clue. This was a last ditch effort to find (Y/N) and I didn't know how I would handle it if she wasn't there. I wasn't sure I could handle it.
I parked the Impala a little ways away from the entrance to the warehouse, just in case the Djinn was there. I didn't want to tip it off. We grabbed our weapons from the trunk and headed inside.
We'd only been inside the building for a few minutes when I heard a sound that sent chills down my spine. It sounded like blood dripping and my only thought was of her before I took off running.
Had I been thinking rationally, I would have realized it was just the sound of water dripping onto the floor, but I was far past rational. There aren't many people in this world that I would die for, but (Y/N) was second on that list right after my brother. She didn't know it, but she meant the world to me. I had to find her--alive.
Sam grabbed my arm and pulled me to a stop. He gave me a look like I was being reckless, which I suppose I was. He pointed to a room up ahead that appeared to be dimly lit. He started walking towards it and gestured for me to follow.
The moment we turned that corner, my worst fears came to life. The only thing I saw was the woman I loved strung up from the ceiling by her wrists, feet barely touching the floor. She was extremely pale and I could see blood slowly draining from her body into an IV bag.
I moved towards her with a speed I didn't know I had. Terror filled my lungs as I reached for her, worried that I was too late. There was a lot of blood in that bag and I had no way of knowing how many had been filled already.
I touched her cheek with shaking hands and I whispered her name. My voice sounded foreign to my own ears as I begged her to wake up. I tried to feel for a pulse, but my hands were shaking too much to tell.
Sam came up beside me and pressed his fingers to her neck. I watched him in terrified silence, waiting for him to shatter my heart into a million pieces.
"She's alive," he whispered in relief.
My eyes widened in surprise and my heart practically flew out of my chest with joy. "We need to get her out of here," I whispered back as I unhooked the IV to stop the blood flow.
Suddenly, Sam went flying across the room and I turned around in surprise. I came face to face with the Djinn, who was reaching for me with blue electricity crackling from his fingertips. I ducked to avoid his hand and the fight began.
**********
You had no idea where you were going, but your feet were on a mission. You felt like you'd been walking for days, but in reality it had only been an hour or so. You belatedly realized you could have just stolen a car, but on the off chance you were wrong about all of this, you didn't want to commit a crime.
After almost two hours of walking, you found yourself standing in front of an old abandoned warehouse. Something about the imposing building felt strangely familiar, but you couldn't put your finger on why.
You entered the building cautiously, silently cursing yourself for not bringing anything that could be used as a weapon. You'd been so focused on getting away, that you hadn't done much--any--planning.
The building was dark and you didn't have a flashlight, but thankfully you'd had your phone in your pocket when you left the house, so you pulled it out to use the built in flashlight.
When you looked at the screen, you saw you had several missed calls and texts, mostly from Dean, but several from Sam as well. You ignored them both and turned on the flashlight.
You began to wander through the giant space, looking for something--anything--that felt out of place. It was a lot harder to find something when you had no idea what you were looking for.
After several minutes of wandering aimlessly, you noticed a room up ahead that appeared to be dimly lit. Well that's weird. You slowly made your way closer, trying to be as quiet as possible.
As you rounded the corner, everything changed. You nearly dropped your phone at the sight before you. You were hanging from the ceiling by your wrists, feet barely touching the ground, blood slowly filling an IV bag to your left.
In an instant, everything fell into place. Your memories--your real memories--flooded your mind. You remembered your argument with Dean and your foolish arrogance as you sought out the Djinn on your own. Clearly you'd been unsuccessful in your attempt to kill it--so here you were, trapped in a dream in your own mind while your body slowly died in the real world.
"(Y/N), stay," you heard Dean's voice say from behind you.
You turned to face him, knowing he wasn't real--he wasn't your Dean. "I can't...this isn't real."
"You're right. It's not. But it will feel real. You'll live out your whole life with me. We'll be happy and normal. Isn't that what you want?"
You thought about it for a moment. "No," you answered honestly. "I wasn't meant to be normal, to live a normal life. I'm a hunter...I save people. If that means I'll never be truly happy, if it means I'll die alone, then so be it. I can't stay here no matter how badly I want to...my real life is out there. The real you is out there."
"The real Dean doesn't love you the way I do."
Tears filled your eyes and you nodded. "I know...but at least he's real."
You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, desperately trying to wake up.
In the distance, you heard a voice yell your name. You focused on the voice, but you couldn't figure out whose it was. The voice begged you to wake up, to fight..."come back to me," it pleaded.
You began to sink into darkness, unsure of whether you were about to wake up or die. In the moments before the darkness overtook you, you realized who the voice belonged to. "Dean..." you whispered.
Then, blackness.
**********
Dean's POV:
"Sam!" I yelled as my brother was once again tossed across the room. This Djinn was seriously starting to piss me off.
I knew I needed to get (Y/N) out of here, but I was a little preoccupied trying not to end up strung up beside her. I'd managed to disconnect the IV, so at least she wasn't losing blood anymore.
"Shit!" I yelled as I once again dodged the Djinn's hands.
Son of a bitch! I saw Sam's silver knife lying on the floor, a short distance away from me. I moved towards it quickly, grabbing it before the Djinn noticed.
The creature approached Sam, clearly about to zap his ass into dreamland. I rushed up behind it and stabbed it in the back, bringing it to its knees.
The Djinn seemed surprised and I smiled ruefully. "Lamb's blood and silver--lethal combination, you son of a bitch."
Sam started to pull himself off the floor, retrieving his knife from the dead Djinn's back. One glance at my brother told me he was fine, so my focus turned back to (Y/N).
I rushed over to her and held her up while Sam started to work on the chains tying her to the ceiling. "(Y/N)? Can you hear me?"
She didn't respond, not that I expected her to, but that didn't deter me. "Come on, (Y/N). I need you to wake up."
Sam finally got the chains removed from her wrists and she slumped into my arms. I sunk to the ground, holding her close, and continued to beg her to wake up. I knew I sounded pathetic, but I didn't give a damn.
"(Y/N), please. I know you're mad at me, but I need you to wake up. I need you to fight. Please." I laid my head against her forehead and I whispered so softly only she could hear, "Come back to me."
To my surprise, I heard her whisper, "Dean..."
My head shot up and Sam's eyes widened. (Y/N) didn't say another word, but I knew she was alive. I picked her up and carried her to the car, gently placing her in the backseat before speeding off like a bat out of hell.
I pulled into the nearest hospital in record time, throwing the car into park without a thought. I carefully pulled (Y/N) from the backseat and carried her into the ER.
Sam had gone ahead and gotten a nurse to get a gurney, which I placed her on gently. I watched as the nurses took her back to an exam room and I sent up a silent prayer that she would be okay.
**********
You awoke to the sound of beeping and it didn't take you long to realize you were in a hospital. With that realization came a flood of memories. You had no way of knowing how long had passed here in the real world, but for you it had been days.
You began to stir and you let out a groan as your eyes started to adjust to the brightness in the room.
"(Y/N)?"
You turned your head towards the source of the voice, but you couldn't quite make out the person's face.
"Hey," the voice said again. "You're okay. It's me."
Your eyes were still struggling to focus, but you recognized the voice. "Dean," you mumbled.
You didn't see it, but he smiled warmly. "I'm right here, sweetheart. You're okay."
Your body tensed slightly, unsure of how to feel. He didn't normally call you by any pet names and you suddenly feared you were back in the dream. "What happened?"
"You were captured by the Djinn. Sammy and I found you."
Your whole body relaxed and you let out a relieved sigh. Dean didn't understand why that would calm you, but he didn't question it.
"Thanks for saving me," you whispered. Your eyes finally focused on his face and you knew in your heart this was your Dean. He just looked different and your heart tightened at the sight of him.
"You don't have to thank me. It was my fault you ran off in the first place."
You shook your head. "I was an idiot."
"No you weren't. You could have taken him if you weren't distracted by my asshole comments."
Surprise lit up your face. "So you're admitting you were an asshole?"
He chuckled grimly. "It's a one-time deal, so don't get used to it."
You smiled. "I expect nothing less."
Dean shifted slightly, clearly wanting to say something, but he remained silent.
"What?"
He seemed to debate for a moment, but finally asked, "What did you dream about?"
You sighed. "It doesn't matter."
"Of course it does," he insisted. "The Djinn lets you live out your dream life...so what's your dream life, (Y/N)?"
"Technically, the Djinn grants you a wish and the life you see is based around that wish."
Dean rolled his eyes. "You're avoiding the question."
"It was my dream, Dean. You don't need to know about it." You spoke a little more harshly than you'd intended and you hated yourself a little for it. Especially when you saw Dean wince.
He quickly recovered and threw his hands in the air in mock surrender. "Okay, okay. I won't press, I promise."
"Thanks."
"Let me go talk to the doctor and see when we can get you outta here, okay?"
It was like he knew exactly what you needed. It warmed your heart and broke it all at once. "Thanks, Dean."
"Sure, (Y/N/N)."
**********
"Will I ever not be tired?" you complained grumpily two days later.
Sam laughed from the small table across the room from the bed you were currently curled up in. "It'll just take a little time. You lost a lot of blood, so your iron levels are low. Be patient."
"I hate being patient," you grumbled.
Sam chuckled again. "You sound like Dean."
As if he'd been summoned, Dean himself walked through the motel room door. "Dinner is served!" he announced happily.
You sat up and started to get out of the bed, but Dean ran over to you. "You can eat in bed, (Y/N). You need your rest."
"I appreciate that, Dean, but you're smothering me. I'm tired of laying in this bed."
Sam laughed and Dean just shook his head. "Alright fine."
He helped you to the table and you sat down across from Sam. You were grateful for his help, even if you didn't want to admit it.
"I got you a burger," Dean began. "I wasn't sure if you'd be feeling up to eating one, but you could really use the energy."
You smiled warmly. "A burger sounds amazing, Dean."
He handed you your food and gave Sam his. He pulled out his own, then reached into the bag and pulled out a small item, which he handed to you. "They, uh...they had freshly baked brownies, so I got you one."
Your eyes lit up as you took the neatly wrapped brownie from him. "Thanks," you said softly.
"They're your favorite, right?" he asked.
He remembered. "Yeah. Especially with the--"
"--little chocolate chips," he finished for you.
You stared at him for a moment, a soft smile gracing your features. Your eyes began to water, so you looked down at your food to keep from embarrassing yourself. "This looks delicious."
The three of you ate your dinners in companionable silence. When you were finished, you got out of your chair and started to make your way back to the bed. You were still tired, but you felt stronger than you had in a few days.
Dean immediately jumped out of his seat to help you, but you gently told him you were okay. "I'm alright, Dean."
His hands seemed to twitch as he watched you walk away, clearly wanting to make sure you were okay. He didn't relax until you sat down on the bed and started to unwrap your brownie.
"She's strong," Sam said lowly.
Dean turned his attention to his brother. "I know. I just worry about her."
"You know I can hear you both, right?" you said from your bed.
Both men chuckled lightly.
"The room's small and voices carry," you teased.
"You're not wrong," Sam said as he got up with a stretch. "I actually think I'm gonna hit the bar. I could use a drink after the week we've had."
Sam looked pointedly at his brother, which didn't go unnoticed by you. You watched as some sort of nonverbal exchange happened between the two men.
"I'll be back later," Sam said, getting what appeared to be the final word in whatever discussion they had been having. He walked out the door with his jacket and Dean locked it behind him.
"Since when does Sam go to bars by himself?" you asked.
Dean shrugged, but didn't meet your gaze. "Guess he really needed that drink."
"Or he wants to get laid," you mumbled.
Dean groaned. "Gross."
You laughed. "He's not a monk, Dean."
"Yeah, but that doesn't mean I want to think about him getting jiggy with it."
"Did you just say 'getting jiggy with it'?"
"I was trying it out."
"Maybe don't," you said with a laugh.
He grinned and flopped down on the other bed. "I'll make a note of it."
The two of you fell into silence, but unlike during dinner, this one felt uncomfortable. The tension hung in the air and there was so much you wanted to say to him...and so much he wanted to say to you.
"Do you wanna watch TV?" you asked, breaking the silence.
"Not really."
"Okay."
The silence continued to drag on until Dean finally couldn't take it anymore. He sat up and looked at you, gaze seeming to bore into your soul. "Can I tell you something?"
"Sure."
"When you saved my life, I was pissed. Beyond pissed. I haven't been that angry in a long time. But it wasn't because I wanted to die or anything like that...I just didn't want you to. When that vampire sent you flying and I heard you hit the wall, I was terrified. More terrified than I've ever been before."
He took a slow breath before continuing. "Once the vampires were all dead and you started to get up, I felt relieved--you were okay. But then all I felt was rage. I was so angry with you for putting yourself in harm's way like that...for risking yourself to save me. I'm not entirely sure I deserve saving, but I do know if you had died to save me, I would have never forgiven myself."
You stared at him in silence, lips parted, eyes full of emotion. "Dean..."
He held his hand up to stop you. "That's why I yelled at you...that's why I said everything I said. I didn't--I didn't know how to explain what I was feeling, so I lashed out at you. You didn't deserve it and I'm sorry. I'm so damn sorry, (Y/N)."
"I appreciate your apology," you said softly. "But I won't apologize for saving your life. If I'd let you die? I wouldn't have forgiven myself."
He looked a little surprised. "I didn't think about that."
"You never think you deserve saving. You don't think you deserve happiness or peace, a normal life--god forbid love... You think you're some kind of monster, but you're not, Dean. You're the best person I know. You're loyal to a fault, strong and brave, but also kind and gentle. No one hates you the way you hate yourself, Dean Winchester, and I'm tired of you projecting those feelings onto other people."
This was absolutely not the direction he'd imagined this conversation going...but here they were. "I don't know why you think that...you've seen me at my worst."
Your expression softened. "You're right. I have. But I've also seen you at your best--and that is a sight to behold. You're incredible, Dean...in all the ways that matter."
His eyes roamed your face searching for any sign of deception. When he saw none, he decided to seize the opportunity to ask you the only question he was dying to know the answer to..."What did you dream about?"
"What?"
"What did you dream about?" he asked again.
You inhaled sharply. It wasn't that you didn't want to tell him about the dream...about the life the two of you had shared...it was just that you were afraid. Afraid of how he would react, what he would think, what he would say...you weren't sure if you wanted to risk it.
You looked into his eyes for what felt like eternity. They seemed to swirl with emotion while silently begging you to tell him the truth.
You sighed. "I dreamed of a normal life...nice house, good job, friends, a fiancé...the whole nine yards."
His lips parted in surprise. He wasn't sure he wanted to ask, but he needed to know. "Fiancé?"
You nodded. "Yeah...I, uh--I was as surprised as you are."
"Is that what you want? A normal life with some random guy who doesn't really know you?"
"He wasn't some random guy," you admitted quietly.
"What?"
"In my dream...my fiancé was someone I know."
"Like in the real world?"
You nodded.
"Who?" Please don't be Sam. Please don't be Sam. Please don't be Sam.
"It doesn't matter."
"It matters to you or you wouldn't have dreamed it...the Djinn wouldn't have chosen him."
You hated that he was right and you didn't want to tell him. You were afraid it would ruin your relationship...you loved hunting with Sam and Dean. You loved traveling the country with them, hunting monsters, saving people, living in shitty motels...you loved it all, but most of all you loved Dean...and that was something you had never shared with anyone.
"It wasn't real," you whispered. "It was just a fantasy."
Dean decided to take a risk and he prayed he wouldn't regret it. "It doesn't have to be a fantasy."
"What?" you asked in surprise.
"If you tell him...maybe it can be real."
There was something in his eyes that gave you pause. After a few seconds, you realized it was fear. He was afraid of what you were going to say...and it gave you hope. Why would he be afraid of what you were going to say if he wasn't hoping it was him?
"It was you," you admitted quietly.
His lips parted and he inhaled deeply. "Me?"
You nodded slowly, suddenly unable to speak.
He stood up and crossed the short distance between you. He very gently pushed you back against the pillows and crawled on top of you, hovering mere inches from your face. "Do you love me?"
Your eyes widened in surprise. This was not at all how you imagined telling Dean how you feel, but you found yourself incapable of lying to him. "Yes," you breathed out.
"Say it," he whispered.
"I love you, Dean," you said softly.
He closed his eyes and laid his forehead against yours, his breathing labored and his hands shaking slightly. "(Y/N)..."
He stopped thinking then and let his body guide him. He'd loved you for so long--wanted you for even longer--and now he was finally going to have you. He pressed his lips against yours and kissed you like he was trying to memorize the shape of your lips.
The kisses you'd shared with the fake Dean in your dreams were nothing compared to the real thing. Actual sparks flew, igniting a need for him deep within you. Your hands clung to his flannel shirt, pulling him even closer to you.
He moaned softly against your lips and you parted them to allow him entry. His tongue dominated yours in a passionate fight for power. His hands began to roam the soft curves of your body, eliciting low moans of desire from you.
"I don't remember a time when I didn't love you," he admitted against your lips. "I don't want to remember before."
Your heart seemed to sing at his words. Dean had always been a deeply emotional man--he felt things more strongly than anyone you'd ever known, but he bottled up his emotions and hid them from the rest of the world. Hearing him finally confess his deepest secret made you feel incredibly special.
"I love you so much, Dean Winchester. So, so much."
He smiled. "I love you more, (Y/N) (Y/L/N)."
He kissed you again and you melted into him. His hands continued to roam your body, and yours did the same to his. A passionate need for one another had been ignited within each of you and neither of you could deny it.
You began to peel off his clothing and he did the same to you. The idea of being completely naked with Dean would have normally terrified you, but you could feel the waves of love oozing from the man above you. You knew you weren't the kind of girl Dean normally brought home, but none of that mattered--not when you could feel the love he had for you.
By the time you were both naked, you were overwhelmed with the desire to feel him inside you. He, however, had other plans. He began to slowly work his way down your body, stopping to show your breasts some attention.
"You know, I always loved these," he mumbled as he nipped and sucked at your breasts, earning sweet moans from you.
He continued his journey down your stomach, placing kisses to the scars and stretch marks littering your skin. You felt worshipped in a way you'd never experienced before.
Finally, Dean landed right where you wanted him, but he didn't give into you easily. His lips kissed along your inner thighs, appreciating the soft skin, biting gently to see your reaction.
Your breathing was ragged and you began to beg him to do something, anything. "Dean please," you murmured. "Stop teasing."
He chuckled lightly, but he didn't deny your request. His lips pressed against your core and he pushed your legs as far apart as he could without hurting you. His tongue darted out and licked a stripe up your pussy.
He let out a deep growling sound and dove into you like a man starved. He dug his fingers into your hips as he tugged you closer to him, feasting on you like you were the most delicious thing he'd ever tasted.
Your moans spurred him on, the sweet sounds like music to his ears. He could have happily stayed here between your legs until the end of time, but he had a feeling you would make him stop eventually.
Your fingers were interlaced in his hair and you were begging him not to stop. Not that he would have, but you didn't know that. "Dean...I'm so close."
He moaned in response, sending shivers of pleasure up your spine. His tongue focused its assault directly on your clit and you cried out. Your legs began to shake and he could feel you nearing the edge.
He sped up his ministrations, earning another cry from your lips. Your hips bucked slightly and he shifted his arm to hold you in place. "Oh god!" you yelled.
You tightened your grip on his hair as you felt the impact slam into you, orgasming with a cry of his name. He worked you through your high, only stopping when you squirmed out of his grasp.
"Dean," you murmured as he crawled back up towards your face.
He kissed you softly. "I wanna be inside you so badly, baby," he whispered into your ear.
"Please..."
"I don't have a condom," he said softly.
"I don't care. I want you, Dean. Please."
He could never deny you, especially when you begged him so prettily. He lined himself up with your entrance and sheathed himself inside you with one quick thrust.
You gasped his name and dug your fingers into his shoulder blades. The feeling of him filling you up was enough to push you closer to a second orgasm.
Your pussy gripped him like an iron vice and he had to take a deep breath to control himself. He hadn't felt like this since he was a teenager. He needed to get a grip or he was going to cum embarrassingly early.
Your hips shifted beneath him and he hissed softly. "Dean," you begged. "Move."
He started to move and the sounds of wet skin against skin began to fill the room. Those were soon overpowered by your moans and his low groans.
"Fuck, baby...feels so good," he whispered. "Such a sweet, tight, little pussy."
You moaned and your pussy clenched even tighter around him.
He groaned and his hips stuttered to a stop. "You gotta stop doing that baby, or I'm gonna cum."
You grinned wickedly. "Isn't that the point?"
He nipped at your neck playfully. "Not until I get another one from you."
He started to move again, which wiped the smirk from your face in an instant. You wrapped your legs tightly around him, effectively locking him into place inside you.
"Normally I'd have you in a hundred different positions," he muttered, "but I wanna see your face when you cum. I wanna watch my pretty girl fall apart because of me."
Your pussy clenched and you moaned softly in response.
"Yeah? You like that? You like that I wanna watch you?"
You nodded.
"Words, baby."
"Yes, Dean," you gasped.
"That's my good girl."
You practically preened at the praise and Dean made a mental note of it for later. For now, he was focusing on drawing another orgasm from you and staving off his own.
"You're so tight, sweet girl. Feels so good."
Your moans spurred him on, forcing him to keep up his pace. He pulled himself up slightly, tugging your hips with him, allowing him to reach your g-spot with each thrust.
You let out a cry a pleasure that he knew he would die to hear again. He closed his eyes for a moment as he sped up, desperately trying to keep himself from cumming before you did.
"That's it baby, I know you're close," he murmured.
"So close," you cried out.
"I know," he whispered. "I want you to cum for me, baby. Cover my cock with your sweet juices."
Your legs tightened around his hips and your nails dug deeper into his back. He watched your face as you began to shake--orgasm mere seconds away.
"Eyes on me, baby," he demanded.
Your eyes flew open and met his gaze. You gasped--the intensity of it all pushing you over the edge. You yelled his name as you came, explosions of light flashing behind your eyelids as they fluttered closed.
He watched your beautiful face as you rode out your high with him. He shifted focus to his own quickly impending orgasm. His breathing became more ragged and you opened your eyes to find his again.
"Feels so good, baby," you murmured.
His eyes locked onto yours and he panted heavily.
"I know you're close, handsome. I want you to fill me up."
His green eyes widened. "You sure?"
You nodded. "I need it, Dean. Please." You clenched down on his cock to emphasize your words.
That was all he needed in order to reach his peak. He moaned your name as he started to cum, whispering it into your skin like a chant as he emptied inside of you.
You held onto him tightly as he came down, his body shaking slightly from the intensity of his orgasm. He finally collapsed on top of you, unable to hold up his own weight.
You placed a soft kiss to his head and listened to his breathing begin to regulate.
Eventually, he rolled off of you, leaving you feeling strangely empty. He managed to drag himself off the bed with a murmured "I'll be right back."
You watched him walk to the bathroom, and for a moment you worried he'd regret it, but your fears were assuaged by his reappearance with a wet washcloth.
Your face must have betrayed your thoughts because he knelt before you and said, "I love you, (Y/N), with everything I have."
You smiled. "I love you too, Dean."
He returned your smile and began to carefully and gently clean you up with the washcloth. It was warm and it felt nice to be cared for like that.
Once he was finished, he threw the washcloth into the bathroom and crawled back onto the bed. He tugged you close to him and pulled the covers up over you when you started to shiver.
"Anyone ever tell you you're beautiful when you cum?" he asked softly.
You laughed lightly. "You would be the first."
He kissed your hair and tightened his grip on you. "I intend on being the last."
You turned your head to look at him and felt your heart melt a little. You didn't have a good response for that, so you simply kissed him, hoping your emotions were conveyed in the action.
He leaned into the kiss and whimpered slightly when your lips left his. You kissed him one more time and he let you pull away after several seconds.
"You should get some sleep," he murmured. "I'll keep you safe."
You knew without a shadow of a doubt that he would die to keep his word. You settled back against him, a silent response of trust and gratitude. He gave you a soft squeeze as you began to drift off to sleep.
This life might be hard...it might be full of pain and loss, but it was real. The man holding you in his arms was real. The love you felt for each other was real...and you wouldn't change any of it.
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fatecantstopme · 4 months
Text
She's My Siren
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Pairing: Dean Winchester x plus size!reader
Summary: The boys are working a case where several men have brutally murdered their wives for no apparent reason. Turns out they were influenced by a siren. The siren sees Dean and appears to him as someone he knows.
Warnings: canon violence, cursing, use of pet names. SMUT, oral (M and F receiving), unprotected sex (P in V), face sitting. Fluffy fluff fluff.
"So what do you think this is? Just a bunch of dudes ganking their wives?"
"I mean, that's what's happening," Sam replied with a shrug. "but I think something is making them do it."
"Well they're not possessed, so what's doing it?" Dean asked.
"I have no idea. Maybe we should call Bobby and (Y/N)."
Dean groaned. "She's gonna laugh at us for not figuring it out."
Sam smiled. "Probably, but we do need their help."
"Fine," Dean grumbled.
Sam pulled out his phone and dialed a very familiar number.
"Hey Sam. Having some trouble?" Bobby answered on the second ring.
"We can't figure out what's causing these guys to kill their wives."
"Tell me what you've got so far," (Y/N)'s voice said from the other end of the phone.
Sam put the phone on speaker so Dean could talk. "All we've got is four guys who murdered their wives for basically no reason. No possession, no shapeshifters, nada."
"All the husbands knew exactly what they were doing...and they all regret it," Sam added.
"Anything else?" Bobby asked.
"All of them met their 'perfect' woman not long before killing their wives," Dean answered.
"Define 'perfect'," (Y/N) said.
"They all said 'she was perfect in every way. Exactly what I wanted'," Sam responded.
The boys couldn't see the look Bobby and (Y/N) exchanged, but they did hear her soft chuckle. "And you boys couldn't think of anything that could fit that description?"
Dean gave Sam an 'I told you so' look. "I'm guessing you have something in mind?" he said aloud.
"I do indeed," she answered. "Ever hear of a Siren?"
"A Siren?" Dean asked. "Like Greek Mythology?"
Sam gave Dean a surprised look.
"I can read, you know," Dean mumbled.
"Yes, like Greek Mythology," (Y/N) said with a small smile. "What do you remember from the stories?"
"Uhh...they're super hot women who lured sailors to their deaths?" Dean said.
(Y/N) rolled her eyes and Bobby chuckled. "Sort of," Bobby replied. "They're actually quite hideous, but they can read minds. They appear to the guy as their ideal perfect woman, put some mojo on them, and make them kill."
"What kind of mojo?" Dean asked.
"Don't really know," Bobby answered. "Siren songs aren't really songs...more like a spell that falls on the person."
"Okay, so how do we find her?" Sam asked.
"Honestly, boys, my money is on her finding you," (Y/N) said.
"Great," Dean mumbled. "So...how do we kill a Siren?"
"We're...uh--gonna have to get back to you on that one," Bobby said.
"Just keep your eyes peeled and don't do anything stupid," (Y/N) said. "We'll get back to you as soon as we find something."
"Thanks guys," Sam said before hanging up.
"Sooo a Siren, huh?"
"Looks like it."
"Who do you think she's gonna look like?"
Sam rolled his eyes. "Probably one of those chicks from 'Busty Asian Beauties' you're obsessed with."
Dean's eyes lit up. "Hell yes. Let's go find us a Siren."
**********
(Y/N) and Bobby had been digging through lore books for hours before they managed to find something potentially useful.
"I love a good 3,000 year old text," (Y/N) mumbled in annoyance.
"I'm not even sure what it means," Bobby responded.
"You're supposed to be the expert, Singer," she teased.
He chuckled. "Let me see it again."
He took the book from her and read the passage again...and again...and one more time for effect. "I think I've got it."
Bobby explained his reasoning to her and she agreed. She placed a call to Sam, but he didn't answer. When she called Dean, he picked up almost immediately.
"You got something for me, sweetheart?"
An almost imperceptible shudder ran through her body at the pet name. She was used to him calling her that and other similar names, but it never ceased to have an effect on her. She knew he called all the girls 'sweetheart', so she knew it didn't mean anything...not that she wanted it to...right?
"Bobby and I think we figured out how to kill her."
"Lay it on me."
She cleared her throat. "Uh, you'll need a stake, dipped in the blood of someone actively under her spell...then just stab her."
"Okay, sounds easy enough. We'll just get some blood from one of the poor saps sitting in a jail cell."
"Not quite, Dean," Bobby cut in. "The guy has to be actively under her spell...none of those guys are anymore."
"Damn. Okay, so how do we get it?"
"I have a terrible plan, but it should work," (Y/N) said.
"I'm always down for a terrible plan," Dean responded.
"Find the Siren, one of you gets dosed, the other uses his blood to gank her."
"You want us to get dosed?" Dean asked in surprise.
"Obviously not, but it's a surefire way to get the job done. As long as only one of you gets dosed."
"What happens if we both get it?"
"You'll probably try to kill each other," Bobby answered.
"Great. That's just great," Dean grumbled.
"If you've got a better plan, go for it," (Y/N) said with a shrug.
"We'll make it work. I'll call you when we're finished." Dean hung up without another word.
(Y/N) and Bobby exchanged another glance.
"Carvistly is what, three hours from here?" she asked.
Bobby nodded. "We should probably head that way."
"Agreed."
**********
"Any luck tracking down the Siren?" Dean asked when Sam walked into the motel room.
"Nope. Any word from Bobby or (Y/N)?"
"Got a way to kill her and a...rather terrible plan."
Dean explained (Y/N)'s plan, as well as how to kill the Siren.
"You're right, that's a terrible plan," Sam said when Dean finished.
"Yeah, but it's all we've got."
"Fine...but how do we find her? I mean, I've talked to all the vics and they all described a different chick. We have no idea what she's gonna look like."
"That's true. Guess we'll just have to hang out at the bar and hope she comes to us."
"We're lucky there's only one bar in town," Sam commented.
"Dude, for real."
The two hunters made their way to the bar and got themselves a high top table towards the back of the room, giving them a good vantage point of the rest of the bar.
"Do we even know how she's picking her targets?" Dean asked.
"Well, all of the guys have been married so far, but I'm sure she'll go for just about any guy desperate enough," Sam answered with a pointed look.
"What's the look for? You saying I'm desperate?"
Sam shrugged.
"I'm not desperate."
"Right...when was the last time you got laid?"
Dean scoffed. "All the time, man."
Sam raised his eyebrows and Dean groaned.
"Okay, fine, so it's been a while. That doesn't make me desperate."
"Whatever you say, Dean."
Dean grumbled as he took a swig of his beer. He was not desperate. Absolutely not. Dean Winchester was never desperate. Maybe he just hadn't been horny lately...a man doesn't need to get laid every day. It had absolutely nothing to do with a certain hunter he couldn't get off his mind. Definitely not.
Sam was scanning the bar, looking for anyone who seemed out of place...but no one was catching his eye. He felt a little bad for teasing his brother, but he just wanted Dean to admit the truth.
"I'm gonna hit the head," Dean mumbled.
He watched Dean walk to the bathroom, several pairs of eyes on him the entire time. Most were women, but none of them stood out as concerning. Just the typical hot bimbos Dean always seemed to take home.
Sam's mind began to wander a bit while he waited for his brother to return. He had a lot on his mind and working this job was, unfortunately, not his priority.
Dean made his way back from the bathroom, jarring Sam out of his trance. "I'm gonna get another beer. Want anything?"
"No thanks, I'm good," Sam replied.
Dean walked off towards the bar and Sam's eyes followed him out of habit. Dean was halfway to the bar when a woman approached him. Sam's jaw nearly hit the floor when he saw her. Had Dean not told him (Y/N) had called from Bobby's two hours ago, he would have been certain she was here in the bar.
He watched the woman walk up to Dean and touch his arm, and he was out of his seat and heading their direction in an instant.
"Hey there, handsome," a woman said from beside him, her hand touching his arm.
When Dean turned to face her, shock lit up his handsome face. He knew it wasn't her, but the resemblance was so uncanny, he almost believed it for a moment.
Realizing the woman before him was the Siren, he quickly regained his cool. "Well hello to you too," he said with a smirk.
"How 'bout you buy me a drink?" she said lightly.
Her voice is wrong, he thought to himself. "I'd love to," he said aloud.
He followed her towards the bar, turning to see Sammy following close behind. The expression on Sam's face told him that his little brother knew what was happening.
Dean held back a little, allowing Sam to catch up to him.
"Dude, she--" Sam began.
Dean glared at him. “Not of word of this to (Y/N), Sammy. Not a word.”
Feeling a little more comfortable knowing his backup was there, Dean continued to follow the Siren. When they reached the bar, he ordered a beer and she ordered some fruity cocktail.
"So what's your name, beautiful?" Dean asked.
"Kimberly."
"Hi, Kimberly. I'm Dean." I guess she doesn't know everything...
"It's nice to meet you, Dean."
The bartender handed them their drinks and Dean followed her to a solitary booth in the far corner of the bar. Dean noticed Sam taking a seat not too far away.
The Siren leaned in close and began chatting with Dean, laying on the flirtation very thick. Despite the fact she was literally wearing the face of the one woman Dean really loved, he found it very hard to reciprocate.
Thankfully, the Siren didn't seem to notice. In all honesty, Dean's bad flirting was better than most of the population's good flirting.
A half hour and another round of drinks later, Dean found himself mere inches from the Siren. Her scent was intoxicating, and he wondered for a moment if that was the 'mojo'...except he didn't feel any different. He knew it had to be something else.
"Your lips look so soft," the Siren muttered as she reached up a hand to touch them.
"They are," Dean murmured as he leaned in closer. "Wanna find out?"
She smiled and for a moment--just a moment--Dean forgot that it wasn't her. His eyes fluttered closed and he pressed his lips to hers in a gentle kiss. He was instantly intoxicated by her...he wanted her so badly he could hardly breathe.
Somewhere in the back of his mind, a small voice screamed at him, reminding him she was a Siren, but the feeling of desire--of mindless devotion--quickly overcame the voice.
After what felt like an eternity, she broke the kiss. Dean was breathless, but he knew he would have happily suffocated to death kissing her.
"Why don't you take me back to your place?" she asked, voice suddenly sultrier than he remembered it being before.
He wanted nothing more than to take her to his bed, so he agreed without hesitation. Dean took her by the hand and guided her outside, helping her into the Impala, and taking off without a second thought.
Sam came running out of the bar, just in time to see Dean speeding away with the Siren in his passenger seat. "Shit..."
When Dean arrived back at the motel, he escorted "Kimberly" into his room. "Sorry for the mess," he said quickly as he knocked a few books off his bed.
"Don't worry," she said as she came up to him and ran her hands up his chest. "I don't mind a little mess."
Dean looked down at her and let out a soft groan. "God, you are so beautiful," he whispered.
She smiled knowingly. She had been more than a little surprised when she read his mind at the bar...it was rare to meet a man who's ideal girl wasn't a tall, thin, bombshell, especially a man who looked like him. But she knew what he wanted and she was more than happy to give it to him...until she got what she wanted.
Dean kissed her passionately and pulled her down onto the bed with him. He began to slowly peel off her clothes and she tugged at his shirt. He broke the kiss just long enough to pull his shirt off over his head.
Suddenly, someone knocked on their door.
Dean groaned. "Ignore it."
She was happy to do so and continued to kiss him.
"Dean!" Sam yelled from the other side of the door.
Dean pulled away for a moment. "Kinda busy here Sammy," he called.
"Open the damn door, Dean! She's not who you think!"
"Don't listen to him," the Siren said. "He wants me all to himself."
Dean's eyes darkened. "But you're mine."
"That's right, sweetie. All yours," she purred. "And I can be yours forever if you just get rid of him."
"Get rid of him?"
"You have to kill him, Dean, or he'll take me away from you."
"That's never gonna happen, baby." Dean stood up and crossed the room.
The moment he opened the door, Sam punched him in the face, sending him spiraling back into the room. The Siren watched with a smile as the two men fought each other.
"Dean, you gotta snap out of it!" Sam yelled.
"You can't have her. I won't let you."
"What are you talking about?"
"Kimberly's mine, Sammy," Dean insisted as he swung at his brother.
Sam ducked out of the way and slipped behind him. Dean swung his foot around and managed to knock Sam to the floor.
The Siren stood off to the side, egging Dean on. "Kill him for me, Dean. We can be together if you just kill him."
Dean was on top of Sam, punching him repeatedly. Sam reached into his jacket and managed to grab ahold of the stake. He jabbed Dean in the arm and kneed him in the groin with a mumbled apology.
Dean groaned loudly and Sam pushed him off and onto the floor. When he stood up, the Siren noticed the stake in his hand, but it was too late. Sam was blocking her exit. She turned to run towards the window, but Sam was faster. He stabbed the stake into her back and she fell to the ground with a scream and a thud.
Sam turned back to his brother, who was now kneeling on the floor. "You okay, Dean?"
Dean looked up at him with a glare. "Did you really have to go for the goods, man?"
Sam chuckled lightly. "Sorry about that, but you were being a dick."
"I was hopped up on Siren juice, dude!"
"Well lookie here, guess they don't need our help after all," Bobby said from the open doorway.
(Y/N) came up beside him with a smirk. "Nice work you two. We thought you might need some backup, but looks like we were wrong."
"We can help with the body dump at least," Bobby said.
Bobby and (Y/N) stepped into the room and Dean yelled "no!" in an oddly high pitched voice. (Y/N) did her best not to look in Dean's direction, despite his outburst...his shirtless form made her stomach do somersaults.
"Jesus, Sam, how hard did you hit him?" Bobby asked.
Dean scrambled to get to his feet, but he wasn't fast enough to stop (Y/N) from seeing the Siren. Sam had reached for her, but he saw the look on her face and knew it was too late.
"I don't think that's his problem..." (Y/N) said softly, pointing to the body of the Siren.
Bobby came up beside her and cursed under his breath. He and Sam made eye contact and slowly started to back out of the room.
"Does anyone want to tell me why the Siren looks like my twin?" (Y/N) asked, stopping everyone in their tracks. She turned to fix all three men with a hard stare.
"We're just gonna...umm--go, uh anywhere else," Bobby said. He grabbed Sam's arm and dragged him from the room, closing the door behind them.
(Y/N) fixed her intense gaze on Dean. "Well?"
"I--um, well--you see, I...um." He couldn't quite meet her eyes.
(Y/N)'s expression softened. She could see his discomfort matched her own. "Sit," she said gently, gesturing to the bed nearest the door. "And maybe put on a shirt."
Dean sat down, tugging his shirt back over his head. She sat across from him, finally able to look at him without feeling incredibly awkward.
"It just sorta...happened," Dean mumbled.
"You sure about that?"
"Yeah--you musta been on my mind when she read it, ya know? So she made herself look like you." He didn't want to tell her the truth...all this time he'd spent pretending he didn't feel this way was going to be thrown out the window in an instant.
"That's not how it works, Dean," she said softly. "Sirens can see your innermost desire...the woman of your dreams."
Dean let out a little groan and bit his lip. He exhaled heavily and finally lifted his head to meet her eyes. "Guess there's no point in lying then."
She shook her head. "Not really."
Dean's heart was hammering in his chest. It was so loud that he was surprised (Y/N) couldn't hear it. She looked beautiful, sitting there with a confused and concerned expression on her face. For the first time in the years he'd known her, he was struggling to push his feelings back down. Now that the box had been opened, he couldn't put them back.
"She didn't get your voice right," he said softly.
"What?"
"Your voice...it wasn't right. It was missing the softness...the--" he struggled to find the right word, "--the melody."
"You think my voice is melodious?" she asked in surprise.
"I think it's the most beautiful sound in the world."
She laughed, thinking he had to be joking. When his expression didn't change, her laughter came to an abrupt stop. "Oh, you're serious..."
"I changed my mind. Your voice is the second most beautiful sound in the world."
She swallowed thickly. "What's the first?"
Dean smirked as he crossed the short space between them and sat on the bed directly beside her. "Your laugh," he whispered.
Her breath caught in her chest as she looked at him. His expression was something she'd never seen on his face before, but it sure looked a hell of a lot like lust.
"Dean..."
"Yeah, sweetheart?"
"What are you doing?"
"I'm clumsily telling you how I feel about you," he answered honestly.
"That you like my laugh and my voice?"
He sighed. "I like them because they're yours."
She wanted to believe it, but she couldn't wrap her brain around the idea that Dean Winchester liked her. It wasn't even remotely possible, so he clearly had to still be under the Siren's spell. There had to be some alternate explanation for why the Siren took on her appearance.
"I guess the Siren's mojo really screwed with your head."
Dean shook his head. "It didn't mess with my head, (Y/N/N). It just made me face something I've felt for a long time."
Her breathing sped up as she stared into his eyes. "And what is it you feel?"
"Affection," he answered. "Adoration...devotion, desire, longing." He reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, fingertips lingering on her cheek. "Love," he finished softly.
She inhaled sharply, disbelief evident on her face. "You love me?"
"With everything I have."
"Why?"
Surprise lit up his face and he dropped his hand. "Why? What do you mean, why?"
"I mean, why would you love me of all people?"
"I don't really know how to answer that...I just--I just do."
She shook her head and stood up. She began to pace and the words tumbled from her mouth before she could think about what she was saying. "There is absolutely no way that you, Dean Winchester, love me. I mean, look at you! You're literally perfection in human form. Every woman on planet earth with a set of working eyeballs wants you. You could have your pick of any fish in the sea! I've seen the women you go home with, Dean, and they sure as hell don't look like me. I'm not what any man would use to define the 'ideal woman'...I'm short, I'm certainly not thin--I've got hips and thighs and a big ass, not to mention large boobs and a soft stomach. There is nothing special about me. Someone like you isn't meant to be with someone like me."
Dean stood up and grabbed her, pulling her to a stop directly in front of him. "Are you done now?"
She was slightly breathless as she nodded.
"Okay, good. Now listen--I'm not perfect. Not even close. I'm aware that I'm attractive, but inside? Shit, (Y/N), I'm damaged goods. Beyond damaged. Why do you think I only bring home chicks that look like that? Baby, they're easy to entice home and there's zero strings attached. I've kept my feelings buried for so long, it just became easier to pretend they didn't exist. It kept you safe...I didn't want to expose you to the darkness that lives inside me. You deserve so much better than me, (Y/N)."
She stood there in stunned silence--unable to grasp a single word to say.
"And another thing--you're my ideal woman. I don't give a damn what society's beauty standards are. For the record, I love your thick thighs and that gorgeous ass of yours. I love your boobs, and your hips, and your stomach--baby, I love all of you. You're perfect. So don't you dare tell me you're not meant to be with someone like me...because in reality, I'm the one who doesn't deserve you."
"Dean," she whispered.
His eyes fluttered closed for a moment as he tried to stamp out the terror that she was about to rip his heart out. He opened his eyes again and saw the whirlwind of emotions in her eyes. "Yes?" he asked tentatively.
"Please kiss me," she murmured.
He didn't need to be told twice. His lips crashed against hers in a searing kiss. He moaned softly, licking against her lips, silently begging to be let in.
She parted her lips, allowing his tongue entry. She sighed as he tightened his grip on her, pulling her flush against his chest.
Dean deepened the kiss, large hands roaming her soft body until they landed on her round ass. He gave it a light squeeze and she responded with a little moan.
Dean broke the kiss to begin trailing down her jaw to her neck. His lips felt like heaven against her skin and she clung to him, head tossed back in pleasure.
He nipped at her pulse point and she moaned softly, eliciting a growl from deep in his chest. He pulled away from her, slightly breathless, and leaned his forehead against hers. "I take it back," he whispered.
"What?"
"I've got a new favorite sound."
She cocked her head to the side in confusion.
He grinned devilishly. "Those pretty little moans you make? Those are my new favorite."
Her eyes widened slightly, but a small smile played at her lips. "I bet if you try hard enough, you can hear a few more."
He chuckled. "Oh, baby, you ain't seen nothing yet."
"Uhhh guys?" Sam suddenly said from the doorway.
They both turned their heads to face him, embarrassment reddening her cheeks.
"Little busy here, Sammy," Dean grumbled.
"I can see that, but umm...dead monster body," he said as he pointed at the Siren's body.
"Gross," Dean mumbled. "I forgot about that."
(Y/N) chuckled lightly. "We should probably take care of that."
He nodded. "We'll pick up where we left off later." He shot her a wink and gave her another kiss before peeling himself off of her.
**********
An hour later, the body had been properly disposed of and everyone was ready to head home.
"You boys wanna come back to my place and rest for a few days?" Bobby asked.
Dean looked over at (Y/N) before turning his attention back to the older man. "Yeah, Bobby, I think we could use the rest." He glanced back over at (Y/N) just in time to see the soft smile on her lips.
Bobby nodded. "Sam, why don't you ride with me?"
Sam looked confused for a moment, but realization quickly lit up his face. "Oh, yeah--right. Sure. I'll uh, see you guys later, then."
"Mhm," Dean hummed, clearly not really listening anymore.
Bobby and Sam got into Bobby's car and drove off, leaving Dean and (Y/N) alone.
"So, uh...whatcha say we stop at the nearest motel on the way?" Dean asked with a sheepish grin.
She smiled. "I think I could be persuaded."
He grinned fully, reaching out to grab ahold of her and pull her into him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and he leaned down to kiss her.
Every fiber of his being was screaming at him to take her right then and there, but he wanted better for her. Her kiss lit a fire inside of him that burned more brightly than he had ever felt before. He wanted her with a kind of desperation he had never known was possible.
"Why don't we skip the motel," she whispered against his lips.
"Huh?"
She glanced at the Impala. "The backseat is pretty spacious."
He chuckled. "It's plenty big enough, but I don't want our first time together to be in the back of a car. I wanna make love to you properly--on a bed."
She smiled, practically melting against him. "Then you better drive fast, because I don't know how long I can wait."
His eyes widened. "Yes ma'am."
She laughed lightly as he opened up the car door for her and she slid into the passenger seat. Dean ran to the other side of the car and jammed the key into the ignition. The car roared to life and he sped off toward the highway.
**********
"Oh thank God," Dean mumbled about 20 minutes into the drive. "There's a motel 10 miles up."
(Y/N) laughed warmly. "Step on it, handsome."
He grinned and laid his foot down a little harder on the accelerator. Less than 5 minutes later, Dean was pulling into the motel parking lot.
"I'll go get us a room. Should be quick," he said as he hopped out of the car.
A few minutes later, Dean returned with a room key in hand. He opened the car door and held out his hand for her to take.
"Come on, gorgeous. We've got important things to do," he said with a smile.
"Lead the way."
Dean had to consciously force himself to walk at a reasonable pace to the room. (Y/N)'s legs were a lot shorter than his and if he'd walked as fast as he wanted to, he would've been dragging her along.
As soon as they were in the room, Dean shut and locked the door.
(Y/N) glanced around. "Looks clean enou--"
Dean silenced the rest of her sentence with a well-timed heated kiss. He'd whipped her around and pressed her up against the door, hands gripping her hips as he kissed her passionately.
She gripped the edges of his shirt and tugged upwards, silently asking him to remove it. He pulled back, yanking the shirt off his head, before attaching his lips back to hers.
He slid his hands under her shirt and her body tensed up on instinct. She'd always hated people touching her stomach, but she did her best to push away her discomfort.
Despite her best efforts, Dean could feel her unease. "Baby, look at me," he whispered.
Her eyes met his and she visibly relaxed.
"I've got you, okay? I love you, I love your body, and I wanna touch and see every inch of it...but if you're not ready, I can wait."
Her heart skipped a beat at the sound of his sweet words. Normally, she would have taken him up on his offer, but not now. She wanted this...wanted him...and that meant giving in completely.
She pushed him back ever so slightly, giving her enough space to unbutton her shirt and slip it off. It fell to the ground, leaving her upper half in just a bra.
She was self-conscious for no more than a moment. Dean's hungry eyes traced their way down her torso and back up, desire evident in his gaze.
He pressed his body up against hers again, a soft moan escaping his lips. "So fucking perfect," he whispered.
He slid his hands up her back and deftly unhooked her bra. She let him pull it off and toss it somewhere behind him. He groaned as he palmed each of her breasts in his large hands. He began to kneed them gently, pinching her nipples as she gasped.
Suddenly, his hands left her breasts and traveled to her thighs. "Jump," he whispered.
"Excuse me?"
He gripped her thighs tightly. "Jump, baby. I've got you."
She looked at him like he was crazy, but she trusted him completely. She jumped up and Dean caught her with ease, tugging her legs around his waist. She locked her heels behind him and he pressed her back against the door.
Her breasts were now at the perfect height for his mouth to feast on...and feast on them he did. He sucked and nipped, his light stubble scratching against her skin deliciously.
His arms wrapped around her back and he lifted his head to look at her. "Keep those legs tight, okay?"
As soon as she nodded, he pulled away from the door and carried her to the bed. He laid her down gently, but instead of crawling on top of her, he stood at the end of the bed.
She sat up slightly. "Dean?"
He licked his lips and looked back up at her face. "Hmm?"
She crooked her finger, gesturing him to come to her.
Instead of climbing onto the bed, he leaned down and placed a kiss to her belly, just above her pants. "These should go," he murmured.
He made quick work of removing her jeans, his calloused hands gliding back up her legs to the hem of her underwear.
"I don't think you need these either." He tugged them off and threw them onto the ground.
She laid before him, completely bare, and she didn't feel self-conscious at all. She couldn't--not with the way he was looking at her.
His breathing was slightly labored as he stared at her. He palmed his painfully hard cock through his jeans, a strangled moan escaping his lips.
She sat up and licked her lips. "I can help you with that."
His eyes widened, pupils dilated to the point of obscuring his green irises. "Oh yeah?"
She nodded and slid off the end of the bed, dropping to her knees before him. She looked up at him and slowly began to undo his belt.
"Holy fuck..." he murmured. He couldn't take his eyes off of her as she undid the button on his jeans and slowly began to pull them down.
He helped her take them off completely before she hooked her fingers in the waistband of his boxer briefs. "These are in my way," she said huskily.
He yanked his underwear off with such speed, if she'd blinked she would have missed it. What she couldn't miss, however, was his surprisingly large member mere inches from her face.
Dean noticed her wide eyes and he grinned. "Like what you see, baby?"
Her lust-filled eyes flicked up to his. "I like every inch of you."
He wasn't sure if she was talking about his body or his cock, but he didn't have time to think about it. She gripped him tightly and slid her mouth onto his cock, eliciting a loud moan from him.
She kept her eyes fixed on his face as she began to move her head and her hands in an expert rhythm. He could barely breathe as he stared down at her...pretty mouth stuffed full of his cock and her big (y/e/c) eyes looking up at him.
He slid his fingers into her hair, pulling it back from her face so he could see it better. The blunt tips of his nails raked against her scalp as he tightened his grip, a moan of ecstasy escaping his lips.
"Fuck, baby...feels so good."
She moaned around his cock, the vibration sending a shock of pleasure through him. His hips jilted forward slightly, causing her to gag a little. He instantly pulled back, not wanting to hurt her.
In response, she grabbed onto his upper thighs with both hands and tugged his hips forward, relaxing her throat as she did to take him even farther into her.
Her watery eyes met his in a silent plea. Dean was pretty sure he knew what she wanted, so he tentatively pulled back and thrust his hips forward gently.
Her eyes seemed to light up and she moaned loudly, giving him the confirmation he needed. He gripped her head with both of his hands and he began to fuck her pretty face.
(Y/N) tightened her grip on his thighs and desperately tried to keep her eyes open and on his face. She wanted to see him come undone more than anything. At this moment, she was just along for the ride.
Dean's grip on her hair tightened to an almost painful level, but she didn't complain. The moans and whispered pleas coming from his mouth were reward enough.
"Baby, I'm so close..." he groaned.
She released a deep moan and his eyes flicked down to meet hers. The moment his gaze found hers, he came with a moan of her name. (Y/N) didn't let go of his cock until she'd swallowed every last drop of his spend before finally releasing him.
He nearly collapsed on the bed, but through the fog in his brain, he remembered (Y/N) would have needs of her own.
"Come here, baby," he said softly as he reached for her. "Lie on the bed."
She stood up with his help and laid down on the bed, feet hanging over the edge. When Dean didn't move to join her, she began to shift uncomfortably.
"You're too far away," he insisted.
She immediately started to move closer to him, but he shook his head, grabbed her hips, and tugged her to the edge of the bed where he wanted her.
She gasped in surprise. "Dean!"
He grinned as he dropped to his knees. "What? I wanna taste you."
She looked a little shy. "You don't have to."
He looked at her in confusion. "I know I don't have to...I want to."
"Oh..."
"Baby, if you taste half as delicious as you look, then I'm going to be the happiest man in the world."
"Oh," she whispered in a slightly more surprised tone.
Dean grabbed her legs and threw one over each shoulder before diving into her pussy like a starving man at a feast.
"Oh!" What started out as a pleasantly surprised sound quickly turned to moans of enjoyment.
She'd known he would be good...after all, he had a lot of practice, but she hadn't expected to feel like this. Dean's mouth had been on her pussy for less than 30 seconds and she was already a gasping mess.
Her hand fisted his hair, tugging on it slightly, legs desperately searching for something to hold onto.
Dean was an incredibly fast learner. He paid attention to what made her moan, what made her grip his hair harder, what made her squirm...he was determined to be the absolute best she'd ever had.
"Dean," she gasped. "You--it--shit...feels so good."
He grinned against her pussy before wrapping his lips around her clit and sucking intently. His tongue began to swirl around her clit, spelling out her name in fast-moving cursive.
"Oh god!"
Her legs began to tighten around his head and he had a vague thought about wanting to be smothered by her thighs...but the thought was pushed aside when she cried out, cumming all over his mouth and chin.
He hungrily lapped up as much as he could before she yanked on his hair and desperately tried to squirm away. "Sensitive, Dean!"
He finally allowed her to pull his head up and he stared at her pretty face as he licked his lips. "Infinitely better than I'd imagined," he murmured.
"Huh?" she asked, clearly still dazed from her orgasm.
He smiled as he crawled on top of her, placing a kiss to her lips. "You taste like heaven," he whispered.
She blushed, but she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down to her for another kiss.
He'd found himself growing hard again while he was eating her out, and as he deepened the kiss, his cock brushed against her pussy, eliciting a sharp gasp from her.
He smiled against her lips. "(Y/N)?"
"Hmm?"
"If I told you I wanted to do something really really badly, would you be willing to do it for me?"
She cocked her head to the side as she regarded him. "That would depend on what it is."
"Fair enough."
Suddenly, he flipped onto his back, taking her with him. She gasped as she found herself looking down at him from above. "You could have just asked," she said with a chuckle.
"Oh that?" He smirked darkly. "That's not what I want..."
Her breathing began to pick up pace again. "Then what do you want?"
He grinned wolfishly. "I wanna taste that sweet pussy again."
Her eyes widened. No one had ever eaten her out twice during sex. "But you just did..."
He nodded. His eyes softened as he looked at her, his fingers gently rubbing circles into her thighs. "Please baby? I would do anything."
She bit her lip. She couldn't deny, the idea of him wanting to eat her out again was an incredible turn-on...but she was still sensitive from a few minutes prior.
"Please," he begged again, green eyes widening.
She sighed, realizing there was no way she could say no to him when he was looking at her like that. "Alright."
He grinned. "That's my good girl. Now come up here."
Her pussy clenched around nothing at the praise, but then confusion settled on her face. "Come up...where?"
"Here," he said, patting his mouth. "I want you to sit on my face."
Her eyes widened in shock. "What? No! Absolutely not. No way." She tried to scramble off of him, but his strong arms held her in place.
"Why not?" he pouted.
"Umm because I could seriously hurt you! Or I don't know, smother you to death!"
He laughed lightly. "I would die a very happy man."
"I'm serious, Dean! I'm not light!"
The smile disappeared from his face as he took in the shock and disbelief on hers. He sat up and ran his hand along her cheek. "Hey, baby, look at me."
Her eyes slowly shifted to meet his.
"(Y/N), I want this. Badly. Now, I would never force you to do something you didn't want to do, but I don't want you to say no out of some misguided desire to protect me. I'm more than capable of picking you up and tossing you around, so I promise you're not going to smother me or hurt me. I wanna feel those sexy thighs of yours wrapped around my head as I devour that sweet pussy."
His eyes darkened as he spoke and it lit something inside of her. She was scared of hurting him, but she could see how much he wanted this. "I'll--I'll try," she whispered.
He smiled. "That's my girl." He laid back down on the bed. "Now come here and have a seat, gorgeous."
She blushed, but did as he told her--mostly.
"Babe, I said sit."
"I am sitting," she protested.
"No, you're not." He grabbed her hips and tugged her down so she was directly against his lips. "Fuck yes," he mumbled into her before getting to work.
(Y/N) gasped loudly. This new position changed the angle of his tongue inside of her and his nose bumped against her clit every time he moved.
Within seconds, she was a moaning mess above him, hands grasping onto the headboard for stability. Her hips started to move of their own volition and Dean gripped her hips to help facilitate the movement.
She didn't know she could feel this incredible...her body was shaking with a pleasure she'd never felt before--every nerve ending alive with need.
"Dean, I can't--I need--please."
He tightened his hold on her hips and focused his tongue on her clit as she rode his face. Seconds later, she yelled his name as she orgasmed, drenching his face in her slick.
God help him, but he didn't want to stop. He'd never been happier. The sounds she made, her taste, the need to pleasure her...all of it made him want to never stop.
Unfortunately for him, (Y/N) managed to scramble away with cries of sensitivity. She collapsed on the bed beside him, trying to catch her breath. Her legs shook with the aftershocks of her orgasm as she came down from her high.
Dean wiped his mouth and turned to look at her, a wide grin gracing his handsome face. "Thoughts?"
"You can...do that...again...anytime you want," she said between breaths.
He chuckled. "Oh, baby, don't tempt me." He rolled on top of her and gave her a soft kiss to her lips. He slowly kissed along her jaw and down to her neck, sucking on her pulse point.
She had no idea how he knew that would drive her crazy, but she was glad he did. Despite her exhaustion, she wanted him...wanted to feel him so badly she could hardly breathe. "Dean..." she whispered.
"Yeah, sweetheart?"
"I want you."
He raised his eyebrows. "Where?"
She fidgeted a little before murmuring, "Inside me."
He pressed his index finger against her lips. "Here?"
She shook her head.
"Then where, baby?"
She took his hand and guided it between her legs, placing it against her dripping pussy. "Here."
His eyes seem to sparkle as he looked down at her. He wanted to hear her demand what she wanted, but this was close enough for now.
"Anything for you, baby."
He sat up and gripped his cock, giving it a few strokes before lining himself up with her core. His eyes flicked up to hers and he asked softly, "You ready?"
She nodded.
"Words, baby."
"I'm ready, Dean, please."
He pushed into her slowly, eliciting a sharp moan from her lips. The stretch was deliciously painful, but she was desperate for him to keep going. She whined softly when he stopped to let her adjust, so he continued to push until he was fully seated inside of her.
He dropped his head down to her forehead, breathing heavily. He'd never been gripped this tightly in his life and it felt amazing.
(Y/N) had similar thoughts. He fit her perfectly...a feeling she'd never before experienced. Like the last two pieces of a puzzle locking into place.
Dean shifted his hips, starting a slow pace to keep from hurting her. Much to his surprise, she couldn't care less about the pain, she wanted more.
"Dean, faster," she whimpered.
He couldn't tell her no even if he'd wanted to, and he certainly didn't want to. He began to thrust into her with more force and speed, earning moans of pleasure from her lips.
"You feel so good, baby. Never felt this good before," he whispered softly.
The room filled with the sounds of their shared moans, the salacious slapping of skin, and the whispered words meant only for each other.
Dean was about as far from a virgin as a person could be, and (Y/N) wasn't new to this either, but he had never ever had a sexual experience even remotely close to what he was feeling with her.
Most of his experience came from one-night-stands, which meant there hadn't been feelings of any kind involved, but with (Y/N)? He could hardly breathe, it felt so right. Three words crept into his mind, but he pushed them away quickly. He didn't want to ruin this.
He focused back on the beautiful woman beneath him and his heart nearly exploded at the sight. He'd never seen anything so incredible, so beautiful, so perfect. He was dying to watch her come apart for him--he just knew it would be a sight to behold.
"Do you think you can give me another one, baby?"
Her eyes widened. "I don't know, Dean...I've never cum more than once before and I've already done it twice."
He smiled. He liked knowing he'd done something no one else ever had. "Come on, pretty girl. I know you can do it for me," he murmured.
Before she could say another word, he shifted her hips to give him better access. The new angle left her speechless as his cock slammed into that delicious soft spot deep inside of her--a spot she hadn't been certain existed until this moment.
She dug her nails into his back, clinging to him for dear life. It felt so good she could hardly think. Her brain was filled with nothing but the pleasure she was feeling.
Dean knew she was getting close and he was desperately holding back his own impending orgasm. He would be damned if he came before her. "I need you to cum for me baby. Can you do that?"
She nodded and held onto him even tighter.
Dean's motions never slowed, his aim never faltered. He was determined to push her over the edge. He wanted it more than anything.
Her legs began to shake and strangled cries left her throat as she neared orgasm. With one final thrust, (Y/N) shattered--a broken scream of his name leaving her lips.
Dean continued to thrust, chasing his own high as he helped her ride out hers. "Where do you want it?" he whispered.
In her haze, it took her a moment to figure out what he was asking her. "Inside of me," she begged. "Wanna feel you fill me up."
"Fuck," he groaned as he moved impossibly faster. Moments later, he came harder than he could ever remember, emptying inside of her for what felt like an eternity.
Eventually, his hips slowed to a stop and he nearly collapsed on top of her, completely spent and out of breath.
After a few moments, Dean pulled out and rolled over to collapse beside her on the bed. "That was...fucking amazing."
She laughed lightly. "I would have to agree."
He turned to look at her. "Best sex of my life."
She rolled her eyes. "Okay, riiiiight..." She chalked up his statement to a post-nut haze.
"I'm serious, babe. There's something different about having sex with someone you love."
(Y/N)'s entire body froze, but her mind beginning to race. He'd said earlier that he'd loved her, but she honestly hadn't believed it. Hearing him say it now reminded her that she hadn't responded to him the first time.
Dean noticed the tension immediately and suddenly realized what he'd said. He started to panic...Shit, shit shit. "(Y/N/N), I--"
She waved him off. "Dean, you don't have to explain--" she started.
He pulled away from her so he could see her face better. "That wasn't some post-orgasm utterance. I meant it--I mean it."
She laid there, desperately trying to wrap her brain around what he was saying. "What?" she said again, softer this time.
He rolled onto his side so he could see her better. He reached out and gently caressed her face, eyes watching her reaction with trepidation. "I'm in love with you, (Y/N). I've known it for a while, but it didn't seem like something you would want to hear. I said it earlier in that motel room, but we didn't really have a chance to talk about it--and I don't want you to think for even one second that I didn't mean it. I love you with everything I have, baby. I would burn this whole world to the ground for you."
Hearing Dean Winchester say those words was enough to shock her into silence, but hearing them directed at her? It was a feeling she couldn't even begin to describe. "I don't know what to say," she whispered.
Pain flashed across his face, but he hid it before she could really notice. "You don't have to say anything."
"Of course I do," she insisted. "I never expected to hear you say anything like that to anyone, let alone me. I'm struggling to find the words to say...I guess I'm just unprepared. I never thought Dean Winchester would be the one making me speechless with his beautiful words, but here we are. All I can think to say is, I love you too."
A warm smile graced his features. "I couldn't have asked for a more perfect response." He leaned down and kissed her gently. "I love you," he said again.
She smiled back. "I love you too."
Dean pulled her against his chest and held on tightly. He didn't want to let her go for fear of losing her. He knew their lives were risky--he knew either one of them could die at any time--and he didn't want to waste a single moment. He'd already wasted so much time pretending not to love her. He would never make that mistake again.
Apparently (Y/N) was having similar thoughts because she whispered, "I never thought I'd be thankful for a Siren."
Dean chuckled lightly and kissed the top of her head. "Me neither, baby. Me neither."
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fatecantstopme · 4 months
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in one of ur stabler fics you mention a place called o’malleys bar,,, any connection to nick cave?? love your work btw, you always kill it x
Thanks, love!! xx
No connection. In total honesty, I pulled that out of thin air. :)
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fatecantstopme · 5 months
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me when I found your SVU (specifically Elliot!) fanfics 💖
Thank you babe 😘💜
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