felisfuntimes

[felisfuntimes]

Piers Plays Pugs: Tank Tantrums Two for One

Today’s expert featured a dark knight that, upon my first pre-pull e.diagnosis shield landing a crit, stopped in their tracks, sat down, and typed in party chat that they won’t be pulling while the shield is on because they want their TBN to break.

The dragoon didn’t notice, kept running and pulled, so I followed and the other dps wasn’t long after us. Fun facts, dragoons can tank like champs.

Tank eventually got over it, caught up, and we got through the dungeon, albeit not without complaint from this tank. Never once seemed to noticed that their TBN was consumed before my shields.

Ok. That was nuts, but I see all sorts of general chaos in my roulettes, so no big deal. Shake it off, Piers.

Main scenario roulette, get Prae, no first timers, ok ok. Things seem fine…until we get to that cutscene trigger before the first boss. I cross the threshold first and make the cutscene start, whereupon this tank starts blowing up chat with a rage that will live rent free in my head for the rest of my life.

They told me not to pull.

I said I didn’t???

They said you pulled, that’s my job, all that stuff

I said, I did not pull. We’re in an unskippable cutscene so I couldn’t anyway.

The tank is just full rage now: YEAH THAT’S WHAT PULLING IS DUMBASS

One of the dps said DUDE ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW LOL

Anyway the tank was very serious and this arguing continued and a similar tantrum happened before Nero, and one of the dps got to the vote kick before me.

The new war we got didn’t seem to believe us when they asked what happened and we explained.

To be fair, I don’t think I would have either.

Go do these people find me, and why is it only when I’m alone. My FC thinks I’m crazy.

#ffxiv #piers cantus

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Images of Kenny being absolutely done with your shit

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"We asked 100 WoLs... Name something the WoL wouldn't eat."

WoL's diehard fans, tonight on (Final) Fantasy Feud!

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Saved by my own computer illiteracy

[felisfuntimes]

Piers Plays Pugs: Tank Dance Partner

Load into Aglaia. Two dancers. One dancer partners the dragoon. Very good, very normal. Other dancer partners…the tank.

They share a last name.

Why yes, that Dancer was very insistent that they partner their boyfriend. And she was quick to tell us we don’t pay her sub and she can play how she wants.

How she wanted to play was dying all over the place, apparently.

Anyway.

One troll wipe on scales

One near wipe at 1% by a blue chaser AoE running through the stack.

It was a long raid.

And I really wish I had been on Sage, not White Mage, so I could kardia myself instead of the tank. If the Dancer can do it, so can I.

#ffxiv #piers plays pugs

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My tank main friend sent me a card.

I sent home one back.

#ffxiv #valentines #valentione's day

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Piers Plays Pugs: More Tank Things

I mean

I guess there’s no real reason you can’t resolve Ra-La’s Prance mechanic by standing there and hitting Superbolide but

Why?

NGL though it was pretty funny that the two dps stuck with the tank and ate the floor to overlapping Prance AoE

#ffxiv #piers plays pugs #ffxiv dungeon #ffxiv story time

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Presenting: A List of my Favorite Another Sil’Dihn Subterrane Call Outs

CHEESE IT THE COPS

PUT BABY IN THE CORNER

PLEASE PROTECT THE PIERS

ALL DRAINS LEAD TO THE C

IF EITHER OF YOU SAYS YOU’RE GOING WEAST AGAIN I SWEAR TO ZODIARK I AM LEAVING

#ffxiv #raid storytime #ffxiv raiding #piers cantus #another sil’dihn subterrane

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Piers Plays Pugs: Quotes from Duty Finder

Someone in a dungeon told me.

Me.

That I needed to DPS.

…

Bro I really don’t know what to say to that. I’m here to shoot things with lasers first and refill your health bar third. What healer are you looking at here? Because it ain’t me.

I’m out DPSing you.

#ffxiv #piers cantus #piers plays pugs #shit dps players say to me

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Sexualizing that old man is a full time job

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Piers Plays Pugs: Red Mages are Under-appreciated

Or

Don’t Queue at 6 AM

Log on to do Omicrons before work because I didn't do them yesterday evening. I have some time. 90 roulette heals in need? Aight bet.

Dead ends.

I consider leaving. I make the incorrect decision and stay because godsdamned Godbert Manderville. I want the tomes.

Gunbreaker only uses arms length, until I let them drop to 20%, and *then* I get a rampart. Okay, okay. It's operation bare minimum then, ok ok. The red mage is also continuously ripping aggro, so I have to spot heal them.

First boss, gnb and smn eat it to miasmata. rdm tanks it like a champ while I get a swift raise out. get us healed up enough i can hard raise the smn with a kerachole ticking for some targeted aoes coming. And the aoes come, I'm casting....the tank runs and stands on me.

The joke is on you, potato. I don't want to be here.

I don't move.

At the last second, the potato chickens out and runs. I get my cast off.

The gnb still isn't using cool downs. Just out here in space, taking weird alien busters raw.

Pulls to the second boss go much the same as the first. Arm's length. Rampart near death. Red mage is making friends. Notably, the summoner is not making friends at all. Interesting

Second boss. I try to be very mindful of my positioning here, because it's a big arena, and mechanics make the center a bad place zone and keep the party separated for most of the fight. I try to be on the boss' butt and between the dps if I can be. Nah, the red mage fucks off next to the tank. The smn is following me, which usually isn't the worst idea but we have aoes so I'm running, they're following, the tank still isn't using cool downs, and the red mage is out of range. This goes about as well as you would expect, but I manage it so only the tank dies to not using cool downs on busters, and let the red mage tank for a second while I get the potato un-mashed. This red mage is a fantastic sport. I regret I can only give them one comm for this.

Last set of pulls. The gnb has realized something is wrong, but has determined, Principal Skinner style, that it is the healer who is wrong, and starts to single pull. Ok ok. So they get kardia and soteria, until they literally need a druochole to live. *Now* I see camouflage and aurora.

Still having to watch the red mage like a hawk, because they're still incredibly popular with mobs.

I find it worth mentioning that someone here isn't rolling on loot. I n t e r e s t i n g.

Get to Rala, finally.

Gnb and Smn both stand in overlapping circles of Prance. Predictably, they both hit the floor. Shield the rdm, get the tank up, heal up, hard cast smn up, wash rinse repeat.

I imagine them thinking to themselves, should we move out of these line aoes? Nah, it is the healer who is responsible. The smn eats it again.

Now the rdm helps with a raise. okay. Heal up.

Stack marker. I get out a mit and a shield and the tank doesn't stack.

O. KAY.

Do I need to say how done I am. Super done. So done.

Meteion did nothing wrong.

Tank eats it to prance.

Rala is at 3%.

Kardia. Red mage.

Kill.

Out.

Never again.

#ffxiv #piers plays pugs #ffxiv dungeon #I can’t #I’m tired

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Piers Plays Pugs: I still have no words

I’d just like to ask the ff14 playerbase a favor

I’m spamming fell court of troia on tank for tomes, so if you see me

Please

Do not roleplay as a voidsent succubus at me publicly and without my consent

I am genuinely pretty ambivalent about roleplay in dungeons 99% of the time. I’ll play along in passing, because I’m not here to shit on anyone’s good time.

Except for the white mage role playing as a succubus voidsent who begged me to “save them” and “take care of them” and then wiped the party by rescuing me into a bunch of overlapping AoEs mid pull.

I very quickly became all about shitting on their good time.

#ffxiv #piers plays pugs #how do these people find me #piers cantus

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Is

Is anyone else experiencing a startling new trend of gunbreakers that only use Aurora?

Like

No nebula, no camouflage, no rampart, no arm’s length, no heart of corundum, none of that

ONLY AURORA

Look if you guys don’t HAVE to use your cool downs, you’re also going to need to explain to me why I HAVE to use mine

So far the only answer that isn’t silence or using cool downs is “because you’re the healer”

And you’re the tank, what’s your point?

Radoban would not approve of this nonsense and you know it.

The point of this post is I want you guys to know, if you ever get me in a roulette, I am petty, and you get what you give.

#ffxiv #piers plays pugs

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Sad day. My group is going on hiatus when dragon flight comes around.

~*~healer vacation~*~

Tbh I’ll probably just change gears to manderville weapon farming, potd and hoh, another sil’dihn subterrane, maybe some mount farms

Because I uh

Don’t really want to pug this tier or try to find another group this tier or this late into the tier. That sounds like effort.

And tbqh, I got my SQUALL LEONHART callout so I feel like I won.

#ffxiv #ffxiv raiding

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Someone is once again going to have to explain to me

How using healer LB3

When 5 people are tanking the floor

Including one tank and the other healer

And the other tank that is MT who does not have other healer sage’s kardia is barely alive

How

Is using Healer Limit Break 3

Which raises and heals everyone to full with no debuffs

A WASTE

And how do these DPS that complain about it keep finding meeeeeee

#ffxiv

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Sil’dihn subterrane thoughts

This is fun! What a cute hamster! New mechanics! Interesting new lore! Is it my name day???

Another Sil’dihn thoughts

WHY DOES EVERYTHING TRUCK SO HARD

The green and yellow look THE SAME

WHY ARE BROOMS SUCH A PAIN IN THE ASS

*SCREAMS IN GRAND COSMOS FLASHBACKS*

#ffxiv #ffxiv 6.25

[felisfuntimes]

Piers Plays Pugs: More Tank Related Nonsense

(Warning: big Piers mad)

Look, pal, I’m not trying to tell you what to do, but if your health bar is chunking to zero in the time it takes me to go oh shit and hit cure 2, after I have burned literally everything else in my arsenal,

In Alzadaal’s Legacy

I’m gonna suggest replacing your level 85 weapon (???), not hitting all of your cool downs within the first 20 seconds of a pull (?!?), except for Bloodwhetting which was never hit (!!!!!!?), and maybe let’s get some DPS I don’t dominate while on white mage, and then we can discuss how this is my fault

But until then I need to catch my breath, I have no lilies, no bene, no tetra, no wings, no asylum, no swift, no confession, and also no patience for this

“I’m still learning my buttons”

At level 90. How did you get here. In the immortal words of Kronk, it genuinely makes no sense. Expert is the only roulette I honestly expect people to have some idea how to play their job, it’s at 90, you have gear (SUPPOSEDLY ANYWAY), look just

I burned everything. I resorted to spamming cure 2 and you still kept melting too fast because you had no cool downs I just

May I suggest a Trust, my dude, Urianger, Alphinaud, and G’Raha will worship all your booboos the way you apparently want but Piers Cantus is here to wreck shop while keeping your life balanced upon a single thread and you seem to be perfectly pleased to be the star of some aquatic wildlife vore porn, my beautiful tapestry of life and death be damned

You have to want to live, broski, or I can’t save you

And I did not.

I left.

I hope his next healer is more patient than I, they’ll both need it.

#ffxiv #piers plays pugs #very angry #big mad #big sad #big smad