feminismandfeelings

[feminismandfeelings]

all too well (10 minute version) // t.s.

[feminismandfeelings]

I find it endlessly fascinating that most humans just want someone who will get up in the middle of the night to close the windows with them when it starts down pouring. We want someone to dry our dishes after we wash them. We just want another person to do mundane activities with. We want to tell someone how the copy machine broke at work and we want to listen to how Debra is causing office drama again. We just want something so simple. We want human connection and honesty and to be bored with someone else instead of bored alone. 

[feminismandfeelings]

Beautifully said.

[feminismandfeelings]

The father:

The son:

And the Holy Spirit:

[feminismandfeelings]

For the first time in history, we’ll have a transgender person as a gold medalist, as Quinn wins a gold medal with Canada.

Congrats!

[feminismandfeelings]

Alex Morgan’s 123rd Minute Goal - USA vs Canada (2012 Summer Olympics)

Gives me goosebumps every time.

#haven’t reblogged anything in years #but this is the greatest game of soccer ever played #the drama is UNMATCHED #and I will never love anything more

[feminismandfeelings]

[feminismandfeelings]

A lot of the advice I got about learning to enforce my boundaries was framed as an adversarial thing. Like, ‘yes, it might upset and disappoint the people around you, but you have to learn to tell them 'no’ anyway.’ At best, 'good people will still like you if you enforce your boundaries’.

What I wish I’d been told is that good people will think it's awesome that you enforce your boundaries, that there are people who will respect the hell out of you for it, that there are people who will admire you not despite you telling them no, but because of it. That most people don’t want to make you do something you don’t enjoy,and so they’ll actively be happier and more relaxed around you if they know they can trust you to decline to do things you don’t enjoy and to ask them to stop things that bother you.

It helped me a lot, personally, to stop thinking of 'enforcing my boundaries’ as something I did for me and more as something I did to empower the people I was close with, to build a situation where they and I felt sure everything that was going on was something we all wanted.

Most advice isn’t good for everyone and this advice seems maybe bad for people in abusive situations, because sometimes you do need to learn to enforce boundaries against people who will try to violate them. But if there are other brains like me out there: your partner will be really happy you can say no to them. your friend will be really happy you change the subject when you hate it. your roommate will really appreciate that you tell them to turn down the music. most people will feel safer and more comfortable around you if they know you’ll reliably express your needs, AND they’ll feel better about voicing theirs.

#love this #literally just ended a relationship because she could not get this #and her inability to have boundaries with me #made it clear that it could not be a safe and healthy relationship for either of us #boundaries are not mean or a punishment #they are a sign of trust

[feminismandfeelings]

Murderers from Oakland Police Department attempting to show solidarity with the community they’ve terrorized.

[feminismandfeelings]

that 2020 mood

[feminismandfeelings]

[feminismandfeelings]

for anyone jonesing for the may hole - bmc made the front page!

#six years since ive done that #still my favorite thing

[feminismandfeelings]

[feminismandfeelings]

[feminismandfeelings]

Edinburgh, Scotland

#i wish i was still on vacation #instead Im on a work trip to rural ohio

[feminismandfeelings]

[feminismandfeelings]

Taika Waititi has made Oscars history.

At the 92nd Academy Awards, the “Jojo Rabbit” writer-director-actor took the prize for adapted screenplay. This makes Waititi the first person of Māori descent to win an Oscar. He was the first ever indigenous person to be nominated in the category. (x)