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fervidego · 6 years
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        child of a rockstar —
                        — and a child at heart
♡♡ blog ♡ ask ♡ about ♡ rules ♡ mun ♡♡
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fervidego · 6 years
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[sees a dog] [gentle gasp]
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fervidego · 6 years
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fervidego · 6 years
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fervidego · 6 years
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fervidego · 6 years
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// cooper is fond of very silly humor, as well as slapstick. the more innocent and ridiculous, the better; he hates jokes that pokes fun at politics, social issues, and anything of the like. satire drives him up the wall.
he does have a soft spot for anti-jokes, too.
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fervidego · 6 years
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// cooper is a dog person! he loves dogs, with two of his own. he gets along quite well with them, and would much rather pet your dog than anything pertaining to you.
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fervidego · 6 years
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// cooper is a remarkably smart guy, having graduated high school with a perfect 4.0 and being co-valedictorian alongside his friend brooklyn. since middle school, he’s developed good study habits and has become quite skilled at retaining information.
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fervidego · 6 years
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fervidego · 6 years
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someone: hey i genuinely care about u and i like u a lot 
my brain: ?? ? time for Joke?? make Joke??? yes??
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fervidego · 6 years
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fervidego · 6 years
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❝   john   mulaney   /   starter   sentences.
here   are   some   john   mulaney   starter   sentences !   you   know,   the   salt   and   pepper   diner   guy.   feel   free   to   change   the   pronouns   to   make   these   fit !
‘ you have the moral backbone of a chocolate éclair. ‘ ‘ anyone who’s seen my dick and met my parents needs to die; i can’t have them roaming around. ‘ ‘ i’ll keep all my emotions right here, and then one day i’ll die. ‘ ‘ i was once on the phone with blockbuster video, which is a very old-fashioned sentence. ‘ ‘ because bill clinton never forgets a bitch. ‘ ‘ in terms of like, instant relief, canceling plans is like heroin. ‘ ‘ excuse me: i am homeless. i am gay. i have aids. i’m new in town. ‘ ‘ the more you do stuff, the better you get at dealing with how you still fail at it a lot of the time. ‘ ‘ i’ll book a ticket on some garbage airline. i don’t wanna name an actual airline so lets make one up, lets just call it delta airlines. ‘ ‘ i was always the squarest person in the cool room, and alternatively, sometimes the weirder person at the mainstream table. ‘ ‘ i have a lot of stories about being a kid because it was the last time I was interesting. ‘ ‘ why do people shush animals? they’ve never spoken. ‘ ‘ comfort is everything. you start doing something and you want it to be perfect right away, but most babies are born ugly and then they shake it out and you get beautiful toddlers. ‘ ‘ i’m a very lucky person. i’m an idiot, and i’ve shoveled through life rather nicely so far, so i don’t feel like i deserve good treatment. ‘ ‘ i always thought that quicksand was gonna be a much bigger problem than it turned out to be. ‘ ‘ one thing that the character mickey mouse is lacking is any personality traits whatsoever. ‘ ‘ you can do good work simply staying up all night and eating nothing but junk food, but probably not in the long term. ‘ ‘ you can’t always see both sides of the story. eventually, you have to pick a side and stick with it. no more equivocating. you have to commit. ‘
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fervidego · 6 years
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A Ron Swanson™ sentence meme.
Because we all need to appreciate our lord and savior, Ron Swanson.
❛ Is Star Wars the one with the little wizard boy? ❜
❛ I’m just gonna stay angry. I find that relaxes me. ❜
❛ I can’t go, because I don’t want to. ❜
❛ You take me nowhere, and I talk to no one. ❜
❛ If any of you need anything, too bad. ❜
❛ I’m not sure I’m interested in that. ❜
❛ No, I am sure. I’m not interested in that. ❜
❛ I like saying no. ❜
❛ I hate everything. ❜
❛ I love nothing! ❜
❛ I regret nothing. ❜
❛ I regret everything. ❜
❛ People are idiots. ❜
❛ Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing. ❜
❛ Normally, if given a choice between something and nothing, I’d choose to do nothing. ❜
❛ I don’t want to seem overdramatic, but I really don’t care what happens here. ❜
❛ Keep your tears in your eyes where they belong. ❜
❛ Dear frozen yogurt, you are the celery of desserts. Be ice cream or be nothing. Zero stars. ❜
❛ Fishing relaxes me. It’s like yoga, except I still get to kill something. ❜
❛ I’m usually not one for speeches, so goodbye. ❜
❛ No. ❜
❛ What’s “cholesterol” ? ❜
❛ Your house isn’t haunted, you’re lonely. ❜
❛ I’m not interested in caring about people. ❜
❛ Strippers do nothing for me. But I’ll take a free breakfast buffet anytime, anyplace. ❜
❛ Birthdays were invented by Hallmart to sell cards. ❜
❛ You had me at meat tornado. ❜
❛ I like saying ‘no’. It lowers their enthusiasm. ❜
❛ [Son/daughter], people can see you! ❜
❛ Please do not approach me on the street after this event, and attempt to talk to me. ❜
❛ It’s called ‘the ground’ when it’s outside. ❜
❛ There’s no wrong way to consume alcohol. ❜
❛ Creativity is for people with glasses who like to lie. ❜
❛ I don’t like loud noises, and people making a fuss. ❜
❛ There’s only one thing I hate more than lying: skim milk… Which is water that’s lying about being milk. ❜
❛ I know what I’m about, son. ❜
❛ I think there should be less talking in life. ❜
❛ Breakfast food can serve many purposes. ❜
❛ When I eat, it’s the food that is scared. ❜
❛ I was born ready. I’m [name] fucking [name]! ❜
❛ Not to worry, I have a permit. ❜
❛ I would rather bleed out than sit here and talk about my feelings for 10 hours! ❜
❛ Crying. Acceptable at funerals and the Grand Canyon. ❜
❛ When people get too chummy with me, I like to call them by the wrong name, to let them know I really don’t care about them. ❜
❛ I’m not a sore loser! It’s just that I prefer to win, and when I don’t, I get furious. ❜
❛ I wouldn’t say we’re close. ❜
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fervidego · 6 years
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* question starters
‘ how could you? ’
‘ where were you? ’
‘ what are you running from? ’
‘ what’s wrong? ’
‘ do you want a blanket? ’
‘ did you throw a rock through my fucking window? ’
‘ are you even listening? ’
‘ oh, is that the story? ’
‘ are you drunk? ’
‘ are you lost? ’
‘ are you trying to hug me? ’
‘ what are you staring at? ’
‘ is this your idea of a sick joke? ’
‘ do you still care about me? ’
‘ forget something? ’
‘ leaving so soon? ’
‘ will you cut it out? ’
‘ who did this? ’
‘ does it look like i’m laughing? ’
‘ were you singing? ’
‘ is that a bruise? ’
‘ is that blood? ’
‘ are you trying to get us killed? ’
‘ was that an apology? ’ 
‘ did you hang up on me just now? ’
‘ can we leave? ’
‘ well, did you? ’
‘ you started those rumors? ’
‘ are you in trouble? ’
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fervidego · 6 years
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will you still love me when i start pushing you away because of my deep-rooted fear of intimacy and commitment?
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fervidego · 6 years
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About the Muse
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FULL NAME: Cooper Dean Hale OTHER NAMES: Coops, Coopster, CD, Hale OCCUPATION: Clerk at a local pet store AGE: 20 GENDER: Male SEXUALITY: Biromantic | Bisexual ORIGIN: Minneapolis, MN, USA CURRENT LOCATION: Minneapolis NATIONALITY: American ETHNICITY: Caucasian SPOKEN LANGUAGES: English | Understands the basics of Spanish RELIGION: Non-practicing Lutheran HEIGHT: 5′10″ | 178cm BODY TYPE: Lean with decent muscle definition. Strong arms. Looks a bit top-heavy due to his broad shoulders. EYES: Green TATTOOS: N/A PIERCINGS: N/A SOCIAL MEDIA: Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat SMOKING: No DRINKING: No DRUGS: No ATHLETICS: Was on the baseball team all four years of high school HOBBIES: Hitting up chat rooms, playing a leisure game of baseball, cooking, texting, petting any & all dogs, perusing pet stores, wasting money online VIRGIN: Yes FAVORITE DRINK: Root beer FAVORITE FOOD: Chicken alfredo and frozen custard FAVORITE MUSIC: Rock, alternative, some grunge, and most songs from the 80s CLOTHING STYLE: Tees or light-weight long sleeved shirts typically with striped patterning, jeans or khakis, sneakers, no socks, and a beanie. Hoodies in chillier weather. UNDERWEAR TYPE: Boxers, with the occasional boxer-briefs
TAGGED BY: stole from myself @bxnseki TAGGING: ----
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fervidego · 6 years
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send me questions you have about my character!
anything and everything. favorites. thoughts on people, on events. what they would do in a certain situation. how things would be different if something had/hadn’t happened. simple questions, complex questions. have at it!
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