finnghoul

[finnghoul]

learning that people want you in their lives is a skill you can develop if it does not come naturally

#reminders

[finnghoul]

I swear I get sad if I wake up and one is on the floor

[finnghoul]

[finnghoul]

sorry i told u every thought that pops into my head and quadruple texted you and thought about you all day im giving up the fear of being annoying and learning to exist as myself without feeling shame for how im perceived and trying to feel alive. do u still think im hot

[finnghoul]

On this day, March 19

In 2023: My Chemical Romance performed their 67th show of the 2022-2023 Swarm tour in Warrang (Sydney), Australia. At this show, an unreleased song (titled "Eagles" on the paper setlist) was performed for the 11th time ever, with new lyrics. Gerard Way wore a dark grey skirt suit, with fake blood dripping from the side of their head. "UNKILLABLE" was written on the drums. (🖤)

Watch the show here!

Josh Groom

#my show #crying

[finnghoul]

This meme is inescapable on French insta so I'm posting it here for all to enjoy

[finnghoul]

[finnghoul]

tell me, baby, who do you wanna be?

[finnghoul]

hey so what the fuck was this about

#they’re literally husbands thats what it’s about #lotr

[finnghoul]

rare vent art from a few months ago

[finnghoul]

So, I'm trans. And several years ago, I was at my great grandfather's funeral. 17, newly on T, barely out to anyone other than my close friends and family. And I'm standing there at the refreshment's table, surrounded by strangers and members of my family's church, when George walks up to me.

This man is ancient, bent like a finger and frail. Tufts of white hair surround his wrinkled face. Like always, he's wearing thick glasses, massive hearing aids, and his veteran's hat. George was my first introduction to the concept of war, when he told me as a child why he was missing two fingers on his hand. He's been a fixture at church since I can remember. I've only ever seen him at there or in uniform at parades, the rest of his time spent in a nursing home somewhere. He picks up a deviled egg and says, in his quiet voice,

"You know, before your grandfather died, he told me that now he had 3 grandsons."

I'm frozen in place. I don't know what to say to that, if I should say anything at all. This is not a conversation I expected to have, especially not with this man. But he continues.

"I didn't know what he meant! So he explained it to me."

And I can imagine it. My great grandfather, uninformed and opinionated but supportive, explaining to his friend the news he barely understood himself over after-service coffee and cookies. His eldest grandchild was now a boy.

"And, you know, I didn't know what to think."

Here, George looks me up and down. This 90-something year old war veteran, who knew me mostly as the little girl playing in the church kitchen with his wife, processing what my great grandfather had really meant. It feels like a long pause, even thought it probably passed in a second.

"But you look good. So, eh!"

And then he smiled, shrugged, and walked away without another word. If I was fine, if I was happier, then that's all that mattered.

George passed away this week, at the age of 99. This memory has been bouncing around in my head for a while, but I wasn't sure if or how I should share it. It was a conversation that meant very little, but also meant the world. It was scary, and funny, and the moment when I realized that sometimes the people you least expect will accept you. Sometimes, even if they don't fully understand, even if they barely know you, someone will choose to support you. And that will always matter.

[finnghoul]

gf got me new posca markers for christmas, so i drew her brother’s cat. her name’s engine bc they found her in a car engine.

[finnghoul]

website

[finnghoul]

[finnghoul]

the intimacy of sharing old memories with someone new. check out the places i visited before i met you. i wish you were with me. maybe we can visit them together and create new memories? look at the pictures of the sky i took before we met. now you share the same view with my past self. look at the photos of my childhood and let me look at yours. have your facial features changed? your smile stayed the same, and i love it. look at my right cheek, i have the same birthmark as my grandmother. this is the child in me that you are healing with your affection. i am glad we met. all these years i was without you but now you know about all those years and even help me to grow. your love took roots in my past pain, and reaches out to my future happiness. please don't stop smiling.

[finnghoul]

fuck w me

[finnghoul]