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Lawyer: How would you like to handle the custody agreement?

Parent: I want my wife to take one of my infant daughters to the UK and I’ll take the other one and we will never see each other again.

Lawyer: You want to fucking what?

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LESS THAN AN HOUR AGO: a journalist on the ground reported students blocking a car holding an arrested comrade. ten minutes later she posted another tweet stating usc protesters SUCCESSFULLY DEARRESTED THEIR COMRADE! this is the second dearrest ive seen happen in the past week at a pro palestine protest, it's absolutely incredible! people are beginning to realize we have the power, palestine will be free!

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would you still love me if i was a worm?

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imagine you got drunk for the second time in your life, first time in a decade, and wake up with no memory of anything you did, half naked in bed next to the man you’re secretly in love with. he laughs and tells you that he just took off both your clothes to mess with you, but don’t worry nothing happened. the pieces of the dismembered corpse you’ve been collecting start screaming, and in reaction, the love of your life reaches inside your robe to fish out his flute. after you subdue the corpse with a musical duet, the psychopath you love more than anything starts slapping the dismembered bare torso and talking about how much the dude must have worked out to look this hot. you are Lan Wangji, the most upright, principled member of the strictest clan in the area, how do you deal with the fact that your reaction to this is jealousy?

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pls assume i'm thinking about this moment 24/7 all week every week

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It's so cute how the novel fandom has all the "How can LXC recognize NMJ's abs?" jokes and the drama fandom has all the "How does LXC know JGY's body has no curse marks?" jokes

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STAR TREK: LOWER DECKS 1.01 “Second Contact”

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#another reason to hate Fox

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idk something like this

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Endlessly diabolical how you can't say words like rape and suicide uncensored without either being criticised by idiots or punished by conglomerates.

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Okay folks, the last one lost traction and it's April now anyway. So yeah, it's time for my newest, updated plea for help. (I'm not happy about it any more than you are, I promise.)

the spiel:

Hi, I'm a disabled qpoc and I have too many damn bills for how little work I can do, and how little money that brings in.

My attempts to be a professional adult are my print store and patreon.

all the necessities and accessories i can't afford no matter how much i stare at them are over here

the household wishlist includes some groceries, accessibility items, and a myriad of other products we haven't been able to acquire.

now. the bills. my eternal nemesis. and i don't mean that in a sexy-sort-of-pin-me-to-the-wall-way but in the "i wish i could hunt certain political positions for sport" kind of way but, alas, here we are.

I'm $280 short on paying the last of March's bills, and April's bills have come out to a whopping $1K.

(we are sharing a commiserating look, right now, you and I. Yes, you understand why I desire a hunting license. We are nodding our heads together in quiet resignation.)

In all honesty, I haven't been doing well. (I doubt anyone noticed; I'm very stoic and closed off from other people, you see) so if you can, and only if you can, any & all help is amazing:

Venmo: dovesndecay

Cashapp: $dovesndecay

Paypal: LINK

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i can never see myself going back to disposable pads after trying reusable pads. cloth pads are waay more absorbent, breathable and comfortable that i don’t feel like i have any pad on. i also thankfully dont get any rashes, redness or irritations from the cloth pads

i know it can be very intimidating to switch but at least try ONE PAD so you can try it before you judge it! 

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Source

Source

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MINGHAO Clarins China

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why so silent?