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do u want the good news or the bad news
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do you take solace in knowing your sins won’t be forgiven?
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I’m honestly doing pretty good now. It’s not perfect by any means, I still have days, sometimes a week, but overall life is pretty good. There’s always a chance I’ll get sucked into the depression I was before, but I’ll embrace what I have right now.
A miracle of a boyfriend, the most pure and lovable relationship I ever have had. I’m living with my boyfriend, almost no strings attached to my mother anymore. Nothing to hold above my head. Friends. I’m just tying loose ends at this point. And I hope things stay this happy.
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It’s funny looking back in this knowing it wasn’t my fault. He was tired of it because he didn’t want to deal with it. Not because I wasn’t enough. He never gave me comfort. He never showed me real love. He just wanted his perfect woman. Which is why he hated it when I vented to him about anything.
That sly filthy fucking bastard.
I always think I’m not enough for the person I love most. Not when they give me all the love in the world, the most comfort. It’s never enough. Because I’m not enough. It’s an endless cylcle and I can tell they’re tired of it. I am too.
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“I think you lost all interest in this world. You were disappointed and discouraged, and lost interest in everything. So you abandoned your physical body. You went to a world apart and you’re living a different kind of life there. In a world inside you.”
— Haruki Murakami, 1Q84
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Maybe you weren’t a terrible person maybe you were just fifteen
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“I have a deeply hidden and inarticulate desire for something beyond the daily life.”
— Virginia Woolf
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