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but this is oh so true. much of what 'happens' in this industry is never shared. such a small, elite (at times) club.
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I felt like reblogging something beautiful.
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#babeslovebeer #LeffeBlonde #Hoegaarden #blondeshavemorefun #witbieren #girlbeerdrinkers #Bruge
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finding out to get to fly with your friend who you haven't seen in 4 months.
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the image that pops into your head when your first officer tells you he's going to workout on the overnight. 
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mile high club.
MILE HIGH CLUB
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People think it’s: daring, hot, quickie sex
What it’s really: schutping in a peestained toilet used by poor aiming men and small children with no bladder control.
Shout out to that one guy I "used to know" who brings it up all of the time. Like seriously. Really? Every time I get the random (and often times intoxicated) phone call, it seems to be the second or third question out of his mouth. I’ve stopped answering in general.
We all hear stories of someone who did this or that in the airplane bathroom. Flight crews always hear stories of the pilot who had a threesome or the flight attendant who contacted an STD by getting down in the lav.
But who really, like honestly, joins the Mile High Club? I know of one person who could actually verify her induction into the mile high club. And from the trouble with trying to sneak past the flight attendant, coordinate getting into the lavatory with the dude, and then actually completing the deed, it seemed more of a hassle than a good time. (And long story short, it was quick and not so great on her end of things). Bouncing my forehead off of the "flush" button doesn’t seem like a good time, but to each their own!
If you so desire a Mile High Club membership, here are some friendly tips:
Wrap it up. Like as in a HAZMAT suit.
Make sure the person before you has actually flushed - more often than not people don’t realize that whatever goes into the toilet needs to be flushed out!
Gank a blanket. Just get busy in your seat. Old people do it all the time. True story.
Don’t hit the flight attendant call with your butt. We’ll really think someone needs help in there, and not just with getting that leg up and over!
So, in general, no. Flight attendants don’t get busy with passengers in the first class bathroom. We don’t actually use that bathroom if we have to go unless it’s a dire emergency. Yes we wear skirts and wings, but we're no angels. Keep the fantasy alive though, friends.
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getting to a long overnight at 10am. 
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keep calm and travel. #lifemotto
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true story.
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Whenever someone tells you they are on the upgrade list when they board.
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ain't this the truth! can't wait to be home in my own bed!
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Last leg of a 4 day trip!!!
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shoes & shower caps.
ever wonder how to pack those dirty/wet/everyday shoes into your luggage without getting everything else gross?!
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Perks to shower caps as shoe covers:
free at most hotels
no guilt in throwing them away when you do not need them any longer
clear so you can see which shoes you actually decided to bring with you
the elastic band helps to trap stones/dirt/etc. inside of the cover so t doesn't linger in your suitcase
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Whenever you see your paycheck.
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A little insight on how to ask out a flight attendant. Though, I do wish they listed step one as: be single
Thanks to singleinthesky for this one! Charm, Chivalry & a Business Card
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when the Captain says he's buying the drinks.
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breakfast of champs.
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- Banana
- Justins Nut Butter
My brother and father are big into camping and recently introduced me to this fantastic spread! Comes in handy for lunchbox packing (small in size, big in taste) and goes well with fruit (bananas, apples) or carbs (boo! pretzels, crackers, cookies).
Most hotel that have free breakfast have fruit available, and I usually snag something to keep in my lunchbox. Never buy fruit in the airport! It costs waaaaay too much! Talk about markup!
Whole Foods, Safeway, Kroger and another number of grocery stores carry Justins. And best of all, there's 8 different kinds of nut butter! I know the banana doesn't look that great, but there were no bruises under the peel. One of the best, quick breakfasts I've had in awhile!
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just because the wireless Internet convenience is there, doesn't mean you should act like you're in your home.
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piggly wigglys.
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If you choose to travel at 32,000+ft, be prepared for it to get a little chilly.
the closer to the OUTER SPACE you get, the colder the atmosphere becomes. You may think you're traveling closer to the sun so it'll be warmer, you may think you're Neil Armstrong and you may think you're smart by wearing sandals to the airport.
You're an idiot of you think any of the above is true.
PACK SOCKS. Jeezums, those Birkenstocks are NOT going to keep your toes warm at this altitude. And in the middle of the beverage service if you asked me for a blanket, I'll do my best to locate one in the 4 overheads around me. But don't think I'll be opening every overhead bin on the plane to find you a paper-thin blanket to keep your toes warm. And let's not even get started on Crocs....
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bag hag.
“…the amount you fly doesn’t make the bag smaller or the bin bigger. Just look at it, look at it with your eyes — your real eyes, not the crazy eyes.”  –Louis C. K.
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HELLO! You've just saved yourself $25+ and the hassle of having to lug your bag down the tiny aisle and into an overhead. Because we all know it's definitely NOT going to fit under the seat.
All while you're trying to shove your square peg into a round hole like a friggen tetris game, I'm thinking the following things:
"Sucker."
"I'm sure that bag 'FIT ON THE LAST FLIGHT' just like you said."
"Totally going to be late closing the door, totally way late. And I'm going to be blamed."
"It's not considered a carry-on if it's too heavy for you to carry."
"Glad he put his bag into the empty bin and then closed it."
"It's not the bin, it's the fact you've packed like you're moving to Alaska to become an Eskimo instead of going to Cincinnati for 36hrs."
"Keep trying, the 75 people behind won't mind."
"Still not going to fit."
"And we're still not getting paid to stand here."
"Ohh, don't try to shove it under the seat in front of you now... seriously. Like, seriously?"
Or one of my favorite conversations EVER replays in my head:
Grandmother: "Can you please help me with my bag?"
and after kicking the bag (gently, like we're told to in training! wink, wink) and realizing there's probably a dead body or 76lbs. of stone inside, I reply,
H: "Did you pack this bag?"
Gma: "Yes, all by myself."
H: "Did you carry this bag to the car this morning?"
Gma: "Yes, all by myself."
H: "Did you carry it to security and through the airport?"
Gma: "Yes, all by myself."
H: "Well, don't let me stop you now!"
Less is more, folks. Less is more.
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