forestfolke

[forestfolke]

(puts hand on glass of my enclosure) i have to whine on the internet about how eoe was in theaters today and i was not there... it was so beautiful and sunny though and i did yardwork and ate an omelet so i had a good day but it is still unfortunate. crestfallen on a sunday night

#i ALREADY whined about it sorry but that was last month #i'm trying to figure out how i can make the wednesday showing but i don't knowww i can't

[forestfolke]

sometimes i see a speck of pure white light like dew reflecting and when i look at it i feel as if i could pass through that pinprick into the ether if i really tried. all the tiny thousands of glittering wormholes on the surface of snow made it look like the world was falling apart this morning

[forestfolke]

how do you feel about doug rattman/glados?(rattdos)

not really a fan, i'm not sure why it gives me the ick when chelldos doesn't. i can still laugh at hypotheticals though i do enjoy their canon dynamic, i love their lines in lab ratt and i've read a couple good fics where they're on hazardously amiable terms... ^_^

[forestfolke]

#acme iku #阿久女イク #utau #vsynth #my art #digital art #fanart #do i have a tag for videos...? i don't know

[forestfolke]

#offtopic #just how it is today

[forestfolke]

dorohedoro

#dorohedoro #drhdr #ドロヘドロ #noi #shin #my art #digital art #fanart #2am doodle from start of month before s2 announcement. very excited

[forestfolke]

u would never have said that to me if you kneewww

#saya no uta #song of saya #沙耶の唄 #visual novel #denpa #my art #digital art #fanart

[forestfolke]

black hole sun

#my art #digital art #digital painting #landscape #artists on tumblr

[forestfolke]

something on forgiveness

#thinking about this one lately... lots of progress. still working #the bite marks aren't freckles

[forestfolke]

hi hiii.! I could never thank you for the amazing artfight attack from last Year and for ur kindness so i Made a little something for you I read your 2023 summary and i admire your brutal honestly I know i am practically a stranger but i genuinely hope this year turns out to be so much better than the last for you And i hope you continue making art and doing things that you like doing Have a wonderful year & Don't feel forced to answer to this if you don't Want to!!!!! ^_^

oh joy of joys in abundance and rapture WOW....hi moldboy i'm very touched by this artwork and that you'd think of me with kindnesses such as that. i love really and truly how you've captured her here, all the color choices and symbols are so fitting, you nailed her aptitude of sweetness and silliness in both of them... her expressions, and the little claws, the painting style of the second one, of which her wing bleeds into the former... i'm enamoured with all of it. ;_; these are exceptional and perfect i will treasure them always thank you thank you

(and you're always welcome man, i look up to your creativity a lot, happy to share universal space with you. :--] and i appreciate your words about that post i hope you have a wonderful year too. doing a little better right now)

#i love it soo much #my ocs #nyanako

[forestfolke]

feelin like a kid in a candy store thank you for sharing... i love to hear about it. will certainly take these to heart

been wanting a kick in the leg to get into ghost so no qualms there. and stoner rock is a good time.. also fuckin 🤝 classic, astro creep 2000 that's my shit. bassline in more human than human always gets me so pumped lol it's a disservice not to blast that record inhumanely loud. love lateralus also

this is so random but any metalheads around what's your favorite metal band i want to know i would enjoy recommendations. specific albums are welcome

mine is system of a down always. &slipknot&korn and such. and godflesh. and early marilyn manson to be frank. mudvayne for when i'm walking in mud (previous two also, though mm is mostly for walking on dry twigs, and godflesh is for moderate ground)

#thank you for suggesting everyone feeling giddy and blissful to just listen to music and have stuff to check out honestly

[forestfolke]

oh (fans self) such an exciting reply to receive thank you, can't forget dear meshuggah of course...

wish i could instantly give you a review of everything but it's a gift to have them, definitely will try to check it all out sounds fun lol. i appreciate the thoughtfulness very much

this is so random but any metalheads around what's your favorite metal band i want to know i would enjoy recommendations. specific albums are welcome

mine is system of a down always. &slipknot&korn and such. and godflesh. and early marilyn manson to be frank. mudvayne for when i'm walking in mud (previous two also, though mm is mostly for walking on dry twigs, and godflesh is for moderate ground)

[forestfolke]

this is so random but any metalheads around what's your favorite metal band i want to know i would enjoy recommendations. specific albums are welcome

mine is system of a down always. &slipknot&korn and such. and godflesh. and early marilyn manson to be frank. mudvayne for when i'm walking in mud (previous two also, though mm is mostly for walking on dry twigs, and godflesh is for moderate ground)

#offtopic #i like heavy melodic slightly industrial

[forestfolke]

Hey! Happy new year! Your art is still really great! You think you might take a commission sometime? No worries if not!

Hi, Pyro. :-) Happy new year. Thank you for thinking of me and my art. I am unfortunately not taking commissions at this time but if I do in the near future, I can let you know.

Btw wholehearted thanks for buying me Yakuza0 I literally didn't play any other video game in 2023 besides that, and some online stuff with friends, and a couple visual novels lol. It has sustained me for a long time.

#offtopic

[forestfolke]

Hi!!!! First off I love your work and you’re one of the most creative/talented artists I’ve ever come across on this app. I sent this as a message ages ago, but i never got a response and i was very curious to know if this image from a comic of yours was ever referenced an old portal 2 Caroline cosplayer! (mainly because it looks exactly like me and my old Caroline cosplay and I am wondering if it’s just a super strange coincidence)

Hi! Thank you for the compliment. I did see your message before and thought it was neat, apologies I never replied and left you wondering. Difficulty responding to DMs. ^^'

I didn't use a reference for that drawing, so that would be a coincidence, sorry. That's cool that it looks like you though. If you wanted to share your cosplay I'd be curious, but totally no obligation. Thanks for writing in.

#offtopic #I made her look really young in that comic which is interesting. I don't tend to do that now.

[forestfolke]

well hi everybody last artinreview i claimed every year i reach new highs as well as new lows. the thing is that i did only reach new lows this time

i had a sort of pseudo-theistic morality crisis thanks to some certain writeups i read in january, (really too perfectly timed for my cryophilia, but also unlucky.) their barefaced honesty made me blanch all the way down to my core and led me to revisiting and cultivating a lot of old trauma stuff and feeling more than ever before like my life was being controlled by it, and also by what i was doing to cope, and having to actually try to remember things and deal with them. i made some headway about halfway through. i view the last 12 months to be almost entirely worthless except for the progress i made with that, though i don’t know if the positive impact i made outweighs the negative. 

i also value the time i’ve spent with my family and friends and i’m very thankful for their company. my communication skills have been strained and i’m just grateful for everyone who has stayed despite me being what i perceived as quite hard to be around. i had a fear that i was going to come out of 2023 not having anyone.

i’m not mad at it for existing but i truly wish i had never read any of it and that these things meant nothing to me.

“God speaks, spirits speak, computers speak. Oracular ambiguity or statistical probability provides loopholes, and discrepancies are expunged by Faith.” <-it’s been like this

i began to believe that some things were useful, and i did so with real forgiveness and empathy. i want to regret it. i wish i could have learned differently. but just like last time, i’ll try to use this knowledge to my advantage.

i wrote earlier, “it’s been a lot more useful to me to think of [art] as a tool to observe and express things inside me which honestly kind of translates to a lot of pages of chicken scratch on paper. and i’m just not mad at it anymore.“ and “[arts] value has changed from an 'external value' to more of an 'internal value.’” even if it is selfish, withdrawing in this way has become almost the only way i can enjoy drawing or painting or what have you anymore.

i did have a lot of genuine fun in-and-between the horrific nonsensical shitpit i stuck myself in, just staying up late and tuning in or getting numb and doing whatever i want, and not showing anyone, or only sharing with a few people. sharing my art remains difficult and it has been very healthy for me not to. i have become a neocities recluse, though.. i love neocities even if it scares me in other ways, but it really takes the anxiety out of it. i am still disgusted by trying to express myself. i’m grateful for anyone who’s said nice things to me.

(i talk big about not posting but like 60% of what i made this year is on there, https://forestfolke.neocities.org/art/directory. please utilize viewer discretion. it’s obviously public but this is where the things i actually care about go, and i’ve built up kind of a confusing backlog. it’s in a weird state because i’m in a weird state.)

i don’t like having to be this gentle and protective of myself, but it has been a hard road to walk these last couple years in reconciling with the fact my artistic priorities have been stripped away and having to rebuild something new and serviceable, and i am not apologetic for how sporadic i have become because of that, but i do miss you sometimes.

i’m unhappy with what i make, i’m happy with i make, 

i woke up and i wandered outside and walked the same circuit through the dead woods and dry grass and noticed how the weather is almost every day, and sometimes i’d do the same thing in the evening.

i dreamt so much every night i could not remember the events. in most the ones i do remember there was usually much harm. 

i am what i call fundamentally suicidal, and i veered closer to “making plans” than ever before this year, but to be frank i couldn’t find where they keep the rifle so i gave up, (i felt a little outsmarted,) and that fact hasn’t changed but it might still, (something else on the backburner,) and even if it doesn’t i have no other choice but to live, for now. off and on i’ve been convinced this is somehow my last year alive, but i think the clock will roll over without my consideration. it has just been unilaterally bleak. it’s so deafeningly quiet i can barely hear the hum of alive things anymore.

i wish i could die and that any good pure energy i have left be transmitted into someone else.

to sum it up: i can’t stop hurting myself, i’m healing, i’m doing worse, i’ve felt a certain latency threatening to destroy everything i care about at any time, i hate living, i love you, i’m not really a person and i can hardly try, but emotional apathy+feeling physically ok means we keep going! i was going to make a joke but i maybe feel like i deserve better. also i liked finishing naruto and rewatching land of waves arc over and over and drawing haku&zabuza 200+ times like way worse than any fixation in history and i can’t claim i don’t know how or why that happened. and i liked reading a lot of books and making pictures.

here's to another year of being pleasantly surprised by how gentle and kind and generous people are. people are angel-soft. thank you for being here with me.

#there's a lot of words under the cut and it's a bummer. thank you if you read it because i say some things that are kind of important to me. #i've been really miserable #anyway HAKUSWEEP #art summary

[forestfolke]

2023 fotodiary

#photos