fourleftfeet · 7 months ago
TW: mentions of suicide and depression
This isn’t a crazy message
I’m still crying for help though
I’m asking for a lot
Reading in between the lines is difficult
This might be one of the only true things I’ve ever told them
I have difficulty reaching out
There’s probably a barrier
I have no personality
I don’t know who I am to be honest
I guess I’m often sad
I feel like my friends are too
I should reach out to them more
I should ask how they are
Why do I forget
I’m too tired
I put too much on myself
Do I though?
Maybe I don’t put enough
I wish I was alone
Why keep making friends then
Surround yourself with people like you
People who love you
I don’t think I’ll die if I was alone
I would be okay living a life alone
i would be okay if I couldn’t hold your hand
i would be okay fooling myself like this
Hopefully dying isn’t the only way to be alone
Expectations then
Disappointment then
Go away
My ages are merely a fleeting thought
Meek as they are they may moreover murder my most marvellous memories
I’ve never peaked and I will never
It’s all about me
My cries for help are not strong enough
They are not my strengths
Hide it please
Bury it under layers of polish and sugar
It’s enough for me
I won’t be sad if I die
It’s okay if you don’t notice
Please don’t blame them
Please don’t blame yourselves
Maybe I’ll grow white hairs
Singular to show a single moment of stress
There is no cake to eat though
Simultaneously i’m looking to commemorate it
Why do I like feeing sad
It’s the only time I feel like I’m not lying
I often think how can I be more honest
I tell myself I’m pretty open I only hide when I’m sad
Though I’m often sad
Itches in the back of my mind
Ouch I can’t stand it
Only tears open every once in a while
I can do more
I can do better
I don’t want to though
It’s hard
I don’t like crying
it’s the only time I fell catharsis
Maybe I like crying
I’m just not being productive
I hope I go away
I would like to disappear for a few moments
Happy Birthday to me
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