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أحبك في الله♡

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And I used to believe that the sun sets in your eyes. Distorted perception, mistaking you for a vessel for light. Weaved you into something special. Something warm. Something kind and gentle. And I used to believe that there wasn't a kinder face out there one who's smile held the door open for people like me. And I used to think that the curves on your mouth was just the right amount carrying all the burdens you had going on. And I used to believe that you were something special I used to believe you were something- an answered prayer, a best friend wrapped in a lovers kiss.

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“take me, take me to the riot.”

—stars

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Authenticity is a love language

Zahraa 1/03/2021

#writerscreed #poetry #writing #love #quotes #soulmate #freedom #free #free write #i love you

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I could say I’m scared of love, but darling when you look at me my heart melts and my soul shatters and my whole being longs to crumble in the softness of your eyes.

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A thousand reasons why your eyes match your smile

Three

You showed me love in places I did not know love existed like the way you think theres an essence of purity within my eyes if you just look closer or the way my smile lights up your face without you realizing it. You taught me that there will always be something beautiful about me it just takes one person to notice and that person should always be me. And if love is not placed within letters personally scented by the one you love then you deserve better. Because you deserve the whole world, even if you dont believe it right now and although it's impossible to serve the world on silver platter it's the act of trying that matters. But most importantly you taught me that freedom is something we cant control nor can we control who we love or how we love . So I continue to love just a little more on days I miss your voice and continue to love you most on the days my prayers emphasize the sound of your name , wishing you well wishing you a life filled with love and all that makes your heart spark wishing for you the love I so carelessly failed to be.

#writerscreed #poetry #writing #love #quotes #soulmate #freedom #free #free write #i love you #im sorry #my love

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And I hope she holds you gently and reminds you that you are every part of this universe the world has been searching for . And I hope that she gets lost in your eyes just to discover that theres so much of who you're yet to be that lies between the secrets your mind hides while your heart conveys. And I hope that you look at her with love - for all the things I could not be find it in her. And for all the ways I was scared to love you , love her.

A thousand reasons why your eyes match your smile : Part two

#writerscreed #poetry #writing #love #quotes #soulmate #freedom #free #free write #i love you #im sorry #inspiring quotes #quote #love quote #quotation #life quote #not a quote

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If I am to confess, you will be the love story I convey to my future kids one day. And although it begins as something hauntingly hopeful and ends in distance. You will always be my favorite person, the love that got away, the love I wait to meet on the other side of this world

To love is to love is to love is to let go

#writerscreed #poetry #love #quotes #soulmate #freedom #free #free write #i love you

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simple question: how to fall in love?

simple answer: don’t.

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‏"شهادة جامعيّة, وأربعة كتب، ومئات المقالات، وما زلت أخطئ في القراءة .. تكتبين لي "صباح الخير" وأقرؤها "أحبك"- محمود درويش

A university degree, four books and hundreds of articles and I still make mistakes when reading. You write to me " Good morning" and I read it as "I love you"

#mahmoud darwish

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A thousand reasons why your eyes match your smile (one)

#writerscreed #poetry #writing #love #quotes #books and libraries #ilovecats #i love him #i love you #soulmates #soulmate #lovers #distance #handsome #my boy my boy my boy #writingcommunity #free write #freedom #free #suncity #december #new year #new poets society #excerpt from a story i'll never write

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Forever is only a moment

A moment replayed like a song stuck on repeat

A memory that lives on until you take your last breathe or send your last goodbye to someone that was nothing more than a wish

Forever is as far as the star that fades as the days go by or as close as what today feels like

I always thought that when I said " forever and always" it would have lasted

Like how you and them were meant to meet in this life just the way you did when were nothing but souls and what we will be when we can no longer breathe

But forever is only a moment

Like a song stuck on replay

Your entire life shared with that person wrapped up in three minutes of chords that make the strings of your heart dance

- forever is only a moment

#writerscreed #writing #poetry #love #quotes #unrequited love #spilled ink #writers #spilled thoughts #poets on tumblr

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there is a fire in your belly, bright and warm. a restless anxiety messed with fearlessness, why be afraid of something if you’ve lived it up? i have spaced all of my stars inside of your hands, words laced with peace, love made to grow, gardens made of paper, burning rose bushes right next to snow. sometimes growing apart from old familiarities, remind us about the frailties of life. sometimes we forget to rest because we think too much, sometimes we love too much because we never let ourselves stop from seeing ourselves inside of all that we have given our hearts to. there’s a resting place under a willow tree where all of the spotted and striped horses go for safety. inside of dreams you have felt my presence, inside of souls you have seen my smile— lighter than feathers, softer than petals, lovely as can be, the words you have spoken to me. i know your fear of self-expression comes from past lives of speaking your mind and being shut down. but in this one, i have given you the space to let all of your galaxies expand and explore, all of my heartstrings for your loving songs to be played, all of my thoughts a sea for you to sail, all of my poems a place for you to sleep. i am made of energy that never dies, i am made up of sounds that keep the night full of moons, i am made of light that resonates with the sun, i am a silent prayer meant for your comfort, love has made a home out of my heart and i know that i could never harm all that you’ve been through, so loving you has always been easy for me. if you are a mirror, i am the essence of our reflections— you don’t need to exist in any other way, you don’t need to activate your fight or flight instincts around me, you don’t even need to glow, you just need to hold all of your calmness inside of that laughter. i know it has only been a few months full of change, but life has never been this brilliant to me. i know we can still get down and the frustrations tend to get to us, but all fires start with a spark, all stars start out as nothing, all words begin with an idea, all loves begin with a likeness, all of life begins with energy and we’re back again. i have prayed on my knees for something simple enough to keep me sane, you tell me that when you look at me, you just see more of yourself and when i love you, i’m really just trying to understand myself— there was a day of great discovery inside of my spirit, my love has delivered kindness into my patience and asked me to be gentle, i don’t need to have a reason to love you, but you’ve given me thousands upon thousands of tiny reasons as to why constellations don’t begin in the sky, sometimes a glance of the eye can tell us enough, sometimes being there is less of physically being there and more about effort, so we’ve been trying to be. to just be. where did life take us? where will our journey take us? i know you still have a lot to figure out and sometimes it’s not easy to be present, but through all of your rage and shouting, there is a stillness inside of you that i have always seen. i don’t need to point out all of your flaws, i don’t need to point to where you should be better, there is something inside of you that just asks to be seen and you are all-knowing and all-seeing when it comes to me. i don’t need to tell you about what’s going to happen tomorrow or what went wrong yesterday— all of your efforts blooming inside of your reactions. i know you don’t feel perfect and amazing on your worst days, but for all of your bad days, you’ve given me beautiful days to carry all of it. there is a certain charm to your honesty and sometimes you’re just afraid to fall again. you tell me to never let you get too quiet. you don’t tell me to love you, it is just something that has to happen. i cannot speak for you, but maybe i don’t need to— there’s a leak on the roof, there’s an extra shine to the moon, there’s another tear near the horizon, there’s an offering to the sun right next to your apologies, i would ask you to know me for all that i can’t be in this life, but you’d only ask me back why not? be all that you can.

—love me just enough for today

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be unapologetic, you asked that of me. so with every ounce of my raw honesty, i am all that i am. the sadness occasionally gnawing out of my veins and onto the page, written words inside of my handcrafted tears. i am just a moment, it’s my favorite phrase, my favorite truth. i’m not supposed to even be here, i’m not supposed to be sitting here and writing this. you asked for my truths, how could i sit there and lie to you? as if you wouldn’t immediately find out. i’ve never lied to you and said that i was perfect. i create enough space inside of my heart for you to thrive, even on your absolutely most outrageous days— i gave nothing, but love and laughter to you. i would never ask you to return that favor, but didn’t we have a mutual understanding? i don’t know where i went wrong and i won’t apologize for something that i firmly believe in. all of my love inside of poems, all of my thoughts inside of my brain, all of these words flowing out of my fingertips. i think there’s something wrong with my heart, i think there’s something wrong with the way that i love people. maybe i give too much, maybe i give too much undivided attention, maybe i should’ve just let you have your week. i’ve never been one to shelter my thoughts, i love you. every single last piece of who i was before i was given my birth name, before my mother created my eyes, hands, lips, toes, legs and organs, before i took my first breath and my soul got to know true freedom from the womb, before they split our soul into two bodies and making it back to you finally made sense to me, i loved you with all of those pieces. i still love you with all of it. you said it many times, “i see you.” have i ever asked anything from you that would dishonor you or bring you shame? i’ve never made you feel suffocated, have i? i swear that i pray now more than ever because of you. they say that people find their faith when they’re at their lowest point, but i found mine when i was at my highest. if i can’t love you at your worst, darling, i don’t deserve you at your best. it took everything out of me to not look at you, not like i’d see much, i’m blind as shit haha. it took everything out of me to not write to you, i’ve never not written to you. it took everything out of me to not run up and speak to you because i’ve never been afraid of our conversations. i love the way your mind works and how it’s always everywhere, just like mine. i love that you’re a raging sea with calm and gentle waves. i love that you’re a fiery spirit with loyal tendencies that speaks to me spiritually. you always tell me to never make excuses, so i won’t. i don’t know how to not look at you like you gave the petals upon tender gardens purpose to soak in the sun. i don’t know how to not talk to you like this conversation will be my last, so i stutter and just never shut up. i don’t know how to not write to you because after all of these years of not knowing what it was to meet yourself inside of someone, i met you and by loving you, i’ve found more things to love about myself. you tell me to not let you get quiet, but i will make no excuses. i will never apologize for something that i did right. it would to against my core values and beliefs. i would not be the soul that you love if i wavered, even if it’s just for a moment. not even for you. you tell me to believe in myself, to have confidence, to always stick up for myself, to always have faith in love and kindness even if you can’t spare some for yourself most days. i know you’re running kind of thin and you’re hurting. i don’t know what tomorrow holds for me in a those hands, but i do know about right now. i could die tomorrow and if writing this to you is my last thing, it wouldn’t be so bad. i’ve made peace with my life, my death, my mistakes, my rights, my longings and my quest to understand myself as a spiritual being having a very human experience. maybe you’re pushing me away as to not be hurt once i am no longer around. maybe you don’t have the heart to hear the sound of my voice anymore. my happy frequency inside of such strong hands—

my aurora borealis doesn’t ask twice when she gets angry, she just does things. i know that i may have said the wrong thing, but don’t ask for my truths and my honesty if you’re not going to talk to me anymore. you tell me that you are no longer my concern and the truth is that’s a lie. from the moment god placed you in front of me, you are all i’ve truly been concerned about. as i to you. you can sit there and tell yourself whatever it is that you want, but i’ve never shied away from loving you, from telling you the truth because you have always given that to me. all of the reasons as to why i’m writing this, all of the reasons as to why i won’t give up on you. because giving up on our connection is like giving up on myself and i have done that before, i no longer live that. i choose to be present in my life. i have always answered to the sun and asked for the moon’s hand— i have spent my mornings praying for safer nights. i have never met myself inside of another, i have never felt like my reflection could make me cry, but when i think about the life that we won’t be able to spend together in this one, it does make me sad. but isn’t that the best part? our friendship isn’t defined by something as simple as forever and always. it’s far more like a cosmic knocking asking for my stars and galaxies to be seen inside of my poetry. you once asked me why i loved you so much. why i did anything for you. why i was always there for you. because my best friend has a soul just like mine. you don’t need to feel beautiful or sound intelligent to be as such. you just need to be yourself. even if you’re hurting, i accept you. even if you’re cold, i accept you. even if you’re sick, i accept you. even if you’re broke, i accept you. even if you push me away, i accept you. even if you no longer love me, i accept you. i see you. i see you as much as you have always seen me. my sweet orange one with her longing gaze, i hope that you’re sleeping well. all of my wishes and prayers have always been filled with good intent for you. i know the days are long and you just want to feel something. i know the days are full of questions and your mind is does wander— i know you wonder if you’re even supposed to be here at all. i know your life isn’t perfect and love hasn’t been kind to you. you tell me that i am your most healthy and stable relationship and i have never thought anything less about you. i don’t know if your legs are rocking itself to sleep or if you’re alone again. i don’t know if you’re hurting about everything and just want to be left alone, but i won’t let you go quiet on me. you’re right. i love you too fucking much. i won’t apologize for loving you in that way. you’re me. you’re who i was before i got my birth name. you’re who i still am after my soul was split into two. my dear orange, i hope you wake up with a smile and read this knowing that i will always love you. i’m not going anywhere and i’m not leaving. i can’t. you’re all that i am. you really are. for all of the things we didn’t say last night, i’ll say it for us. i won’t be letting you go, i create all of this space for you to thrive. i create space for you to breathe. i create space for you to love. i hope your legs successfully sent you into a deep sleep that brought about beautiful dreams. i don’t need my chakras to be in excess or to be too low— so i’ll let you know, my third eye has always known that i can’t just let things be as it is. i’m here. you know where how to reach me. i just wanted you to know that much about me— when i love, i love with everything. and everything to me is that smile, so even if you don’t talk to me today, i hope that you’re smiling and laughing loudly. thank you for reading. i love you.

—you’re my quest.

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i have crossed over a few lines that i cannot physically back away from my heart doesn’t know the difference between love and gentleness

i have crossed a few roads that i cannot emotionally go back to my heart doesn’t know the difference between pain and growth

i have crossed a few names out that i cannot mentally reconstruct inside the corners of my mind my heart doesn’t know the difference between you and what you could’ve been for me

it starts with friendship, it really does. if you’re cold, i can feel the hair on your skin stand up and if you’re afraid and alone, i can feel the loneliness inside of your volume— the volume of your voice that doesn’t let me down when i constantly tell you that it’s okay if you can’t make it, you always do. the volume inside of your heart and how it could never break mine even if i tell you that it’s okay if you let me down, you never do. the volume inside of your soul when you beseech into manifestions if i’m doing okay as if you already know the answer and prying just lightly enough to make me feel that you fucking care, you always make me feel like you care. now the question is how could i not love you? even after all of the pain that you’ve been through, you still have this light that follows you. it starts with friendship, it truly does. and if it starts with friendship, it was always meant for me. i don’t have a lot of friends, so our friendship is something i’ll always cherish and if that’s something that you’ve always loved me for, how could i not love you back? it starts with me, but it also starts with you. i don’t love you just because you’re fun, i love you because you know when i’m not having fun even when i’m laughing and smiling in front of a hundred people, you can smell my bullshit like a blood hound hunting for truths and lies inside of terrorized eyes— you can smell all that i am, my senses of fears and my senses of loyalty cannot be anything else but truth to you. you know of only one way to love me into life and that has always been where we’ve been at. it starts with me, but it also starts with you. i don’t just love you for being you, i love you for always being you. you are everything under the cosmic heavens and you don’t feel beautiful sometimes and that’s okay, it starts with that realization— we are flawed, but oh how we’ve clawed our way out of this womb called depression and gave ourselves a birth that smells of daisies and roses laced with more things to be and less things to be fearful for. i don’t just love you, this is just what it starts with.

— this is just how i love you.

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sometimes i wonder what version of me you keep alive in your mind. is it the person you used to love? is it the person who used to hold you in the early hours of the morning? is it the person you barely knew at the end of it all? is it the person who broke your heart?