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西

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Modern AU where Shalltear and Demiurge are roommates

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for wtv reason the reference i found of lyney's outfit had the frills on his shirt black? so i drew them like that and then i opened the game and saw him still waiting for me in front of his house and they were NOT black? i was tricked and bamboozled...

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Art by Tia_mizuki

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UTAPRI X PUMA

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i wanted to draw what we should've had (genshin when will you make a real catboy)

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some thoughts on how lilia views love

I’ve been watching through the Stitch event and there’s a bit of dialogue Lilia says that unfortunately made me Think, so I wanted to gather my babblings here.

This post contains spoilers for: Book 7, Tsumsted Wonderland 2, Lost in the Book with Stitch, Spectral Soiree/Endless Halloween, and Tamashina Mina

After spending the day fighting off Gantu’s robots, scavenging for food, and exploring the island, the boys rest for a bit in an old cottage they found. Lilia wants to take the opportunity to spruce up the cottage and make it more resort-like while they’re enjoying this “vacation”, and Riddle and Jack are both surprised and a bit peeved to hear him say this.

Riddle: Don’t you want to find a way off this island as soon as possible, Lilia Senpai? Malleus Senpai, Silver, and Sebek… Everyone at Diasomnia must be worried sick about you right now. I should think you’d want to assuage their concerns a tad bit faster!

Lilia: …Thing is, I trust them.

Riddle: You trust them?

Lilia: Mm-hmm. Knowing them, no doubt they understand I’m safe and sound and having a good time right now. Malleus and the others know I’m not the type of guy who’d get in a pickle over something as trivial as this. And that’s because they know me very, very well – just like family!

(snipped)

Lilia: It’s truly wonderful having people in your life who trust you and wish the best for you - and for whom you do the same in return - no matter how far apart you may be.

When you take this dialogue and look at in isolation of this event, then it’s a wonderful thing to hear Lilia say. He trusts his boys and they trust him - because they’re family, and that’s what families do. It’s always great to hear the characters themselves acknowledge their strong bonds with each other, and I thought it was really cute how Stitch got so happy to hear Lilia talking about his Ohana.

But when you take what he said and consider the broader story of Twisted Wonderland (vignettes and events, included), and you consider other things he’s said and done in the past… This dialogue just hurts.

There’s been small moments here and there that made me think Lilia has kind of an unhealthy(?) or warped(?) view of love. I’m not sure what the best word for it is, but I’ve noticed that he doesn’t like people worrying over him, he doesn’t like emotional farewells/sappiness, and he really doesn’t like letting others see him when he’s weak.  Additionally, he seems to value himself very little – he doesn’t think people would be worried about him if he were in danger, or that people would be happy getting pictures of him, or that his departure in Book 7 would hurt those around him so much. I’ll go ahead and put examples for each point so you all can understand better what I’m trying to say.

He doesn’t like people worrying about him

We can see this partly from the quote this whole post is based on, as well as from Book 7.

Based on his conversation with Riddle, Lilia’s way of thinking appears to be:

If someone trusts me -> that means they wouldn’t worry about me

As well as:

If someone worries about me -> that means they don’t trust me

But we do worry about the people we love and care about, don’t we? We worry about our spouses getting home safely from a business trip, and our kids making friends at school, and our friends acing the interview they’ve been practicing for because we love them, don’t we? And because we want the best for them. But it doesn’t seem like Lilia thinks the same way.

And to add onto this point, it’s very clear the boys do worry about Lilia a lot, contrary to what Lilia claims. Due to Lilia’s departure, Malleus brought a snowstorm to the island in his sadness, Silver considered dropping out of school and leaving with his father, only to end up breaking down and crying in front of their crown prince of all people, and Sebek used his one wish to make Lilia be healthy and have him stay with Silver forever. They were all worried terribly about him in their own ways, but it doesn’t seem like Lilia ever noticed (or maybe he did, and just didn’t want to bring it up for some reason. Who knows.)

At any rate, he also gets mad (well, more like tsundere lol) at Silver when the boy was on the verge of tears after Lilia took a nasty hit for him. (I know this exchange occurred with General Vanrouge, and he was quite the asshole back then, but he’s still retained that dislike for people worrying over him.)

Lilia: Oh, would you quit it with the sniveling. I drank the potion, didn’t I? I just to rest for a little bit, and then I’ll be good as new.

He doesn’t like emotional farewells/sappiness

He exhibits his distaste of sappiness in Book 7 and the Welcome to Tsumsted Wonderland 2 event. In the latter, when everyone is saying goodbye to their tsums, he mentions he doesn’t like the gloomy atmosphere. He wants goodbyes to be happy (and most likely, free of any emotional weight). The same can be said in Book 7, when he wholeheartedly agrees to the going away party the students wanted to put on for him, as well as when Silver mentions his father had wanted them all to send him off with a smile. I’m not sure if Lilia just doesn’t enjoy people getting serious with their emotions towards him, or if he doesn’t like seeing it in general. It gives me Macho Man (tm) vibes, kind of? Like, “don’t let people see you cry and feel sad because then you look weak” kind of thing but idk.

Lilia: Farewells are certainly sorrowful, but I hate leaving things on such a gloomy note. Let’s keep our chins up until the end. Tsum, your ability to surprise others was exceptional, and you made today so much fun. So long!

He really doesn’t like letting others see him when he’s weak

There’s still a lot of loose ends to be resolved in Book 7, one of them being the full extent of Lilia’s motives for wanting to leave so suddenly. It does seem to be he’s telling the truth that his magic ran out early, since he couldn’t muster up enough strength to fight back against Malleus when he was about to Overblot, but we don’t know if the real reason for that is just because he “went a little to wild” in his youth, like he claimed, or if something else caused his magic to deplete so prematurely. But we did hear him reveal a little bit of his motives when he was talking to Floyd at the party.

Floyd was dismayed he never got a chance to fight Lilia, and he wished he could’ve seen Lilia go all out at least once. When he asks Lilia why he’s dropping out, Lilia says under his breathe that he didn’t want “them” to see him so weak.

Lilia (whispering to himself): …It’s because I didn’t want them to see me so feeble.

Regardless of why his magic ran out and why he wants to go the Land of Red Dragons of all places, we know part of the reason for his departure is because he doesn’t want Malleus and the others to see how far he’d fallen from his former military glory. (sidebar: I have a feeling he thought he’d be a burden on Silver and co. with him losing his magic, and he was trying to leave so quickly to escape his shame towards his rapid loss of strength and independence (I imagine since he’s a magical being who comes from a country that runs on magic, him losing his powers must feel very isolating and limiting, like he’s lost a lot of the control he used to have over his own life).)

He doesn’t think people would be worried about him if he were in danger

In Endless Halloween/Spectral Soiree, Lilia was surprised by how much Silver and the others had been worrying about him and Malleus when they disappeared. Interestingly, even though Lilia is the one that Silver was the most relieved to see (it’s hard to tell with the live 2d models, but it looked like he went up to hug? Lilia and Lilia slapped his hand away), Lilia later says “I didn’t think you’d be so worried about us.” (referring to himself and the others involved with the party shenanigans).

(I am aware they changed this line to “I didn’t think you’d be so worried about me” In TWST EN, but I’m just focusing on the JP version).

I just found it weird that even though Silver was very clearly worried about Lilia the most, Lilia kind of redirected Silver’s concern over from “Lilia” to “Lilia and everyone else”. Did it make him uncomfortable to hear Silver was that worried about him? I’m not sure, but it just stood out to me as being a little strange how he responded, and how surprised he was that his own son would get worried about him suddenly disappearing.

He didn’t think people would be happy getting pictures of him

At the end of Lilia’s Tamashina Mina vignette, Yuu stops by Diasomnia to give him some photos he’d taken of Lilia on their trip, and Sebek, Silver, and Malleus are delighted to see them, since it’s not often they get to see photos of Lilia. Lilia is surprised at how happy they are to receive those pictures of himself. But why wouldn’t they be happy? They love him and treasure him dearly, of course they’d be overjoyed to have pictures of him to remember him by. It’s like he thought they wouldn’t care about him that much, which is really bizarre, considering the whole “even if we’re not related by blood we’re still family” thing he told Malleus before.

Lilia: To think, you’d all be so delighted just to see some pictures of me. I never would’ve imagined you’d all react like this.

He didn’t think his departure in Book 7 would hurt those around him so much

This relates back to what I mentioned in the first point, but there’s one scene that demonstrates this perfectly.

After Silver breaks down in front of Malleus, Malleus teleports both of them to Lilia’s going away party. All eyes should have been on Malleus with how strangely he was acting, but the first thing Lilia honed in on was that Silver had been crying. And not only that, but Lilia looked surprised that Silver had been crying. And why wouldn’t he cry? The one person who formed Silver’s entire world and sun and stars was about to leave him and go die all by himself on the other side of the planet. There is no reason Lilia should’ve been surprised at Silver’s tears, yet he was. And I gather that’s because he never thought the boy could ever possibly want to choose to stay by his side, to choose him over all the hopes and dreams he’d burdened on the poor child from the moment he could walk, to choose him over his real friends and his real family members.

I hope when Lilia “wakes up” from his dream, the first he does is ask Silver what he’d been crying about back at the party. And I pray to god they will actually talk things out and Lilia will finally apologize for how much of a complete idiot he’s been acting.

My headache’s coming back so to wrap this up quickly, my current understanding of Lilia Vanrouge is that he either doesn’t realize just how loved and cherished he is by his family members, or that he does realize it and just pretends not to. If it’s the latter, which is what I personally lean towards, I think he does this as a means to protect himself.

He’s already lost so many of his loved ones, and he very well may be putting up these walls around his heart and pushing away the people who love him just so he doesn’t have to get hurt again. We don’t know how he became an orphan, but his birth family either gave him up or passed away and left him behind. Even when Queen Maleficia took him in, he was always made the scapegoat for the princess’s schemes, and it sounded like he was brought up more as Levan and Mallenoa’s inferior than their equal. And then war struck their nation. And then his one best friend went missing and the other one probably gave up her life trying to protect the very child who'd go on to shatter the ice surrounding his wounded heart.

Perhaps with Malleus and Silver and Sebek now, he thought his best option would be to exit their lives before they had a chance to do the same to him, because he knew they would do the same to him. Everyone does.

As a final note, I still keep going to back to what he said in Cater’s Halloween vignette. I think this one line sums up his views of love better than I ever could:

“But the more precious a bond is, the more pain it can inflict.”

(source)

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Izumi/Nazuna propaganda post

in celebration of the IzuNazu in Nazuna’s FS2 4*, here’s a quick rundown on their relationship!

they haven’t gotten much attention since Tennis Club no longer exists, but Izumi & Nazuna are so wholesome and funny please join me in my izunazu brainrot

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wanted to draw duo in some cute summer outfits...

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[Course Events] Izumi Sena [Checkmate]

(Checkmate Course Events for Izumi! Sure, Leo-kun’s a handful, but just admit you like him already.)

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That last post reminded me why exactly i consider that Izumi has NPD

(response to this post)

I am so unfamiliar with NPD that I had to google what it is (I’m assuming you mean Narcissistic Personality Disorder), so I won’t hard agree or disagree. I did, however, get possessed by the need to write a long character analysis about Izumi and the relevance some of the traits I see listed for NPD - an inflated sense of self-importance, a huge need for excessive attention & admiration and a lack of empathy.  

*cracks knuckles* So. Izumi's habit of talking himself up and putting others down. In this essay I’m gonna argue that even if Izumi does have ambitions about being the object of intense and widespread affection, him talking himself up is just a shield for his low self-esteem and guilt. He doesn’t actually expect to receive such affection. He also cares a lot about the people around him but sucks at showing it, and this only got worse after the war. I won’t agree that he has NPD, but I agree that he should go for therapy.

This post will contain spoilers for Checkmate, Starmine and Horror Night Halloween.

If anyone reading this hasn’t read Izumi’s stories yet, here’s a list of stories with a recommended order and links.

I also haven’t had the time to reread Izumi’s stories so there may be some inaccuracies and developments that I missed, but well this is already a 2.5k monster that I’ve sunk in several hours into writing.

Izumi and his big talk

“even if I made mistakes, which I never do, obviously,”

“hey show some gratitude that someone like me is helping you out!”

Izumi’s really whiny. But for all that he goes “you’re soooooo annoying”, he doesn’t ever retaliate. He can be a bit of an asshole (see: that one ! Idol Story where he makes Tori run around the tennis court like crazy just to vent his frustration; no link sorry) but he never really goes overboard.

Instead he’ll say things like, “hmph, when I reach the top of the modelling/idol world, you’ll see!” He’s setting goals for himself, fake it til you make it and all y'know! Yuu-kun’s an exception but more about that later.

And for all that he says he’s the most beautiful in the world and that he never makes mistakes, his internal self-talk is very different. Izumi is someone who believes in hard work and persistence above all else, and he pushes himself hardest of all. In Chess (the large unit that Knights broke off from during the War), Izumi was the only member out of the whole lot that turned up for practice. Please read Checkmate, pre-war Izumi is adorable, he was so eager to practice. He knew that no one else would be at practice and he’d still be like, every second not spent in practice is a waste of my time!!!! Please go to the hospital/infirmary already so I can stop worrying about you, I should be at practice!!! This guy is really self-driven in his desire to improve, and that’s not something you’d see from someone who believes that they’re already the best. Granted, NPD seems to be about believing the person deserves things regardless of whether they’re perfect or not, but the point is that Izumi doesn’t actually believe that he is as good as he always says he already is. 

This continues to apply in !! . He admits (with some cursory reluctance, because he has an image to keep,) that things aren’t going smoothly with his modelling work and he continues to put in the elbow grease to advance his career. And out of all the Knights members, he was the first and most adamant one to voice concern about whether their current trajectory would really allow them to stay competitive in the idol industry.

Pre-war Izumi also never forced himself onto others. He didn’t bother getting others to join practice. In fact, he barely interacted with others. There were at least two times where he was told, “I’m so relieved to see you have friends!” And by friends they really mean one (Leo). Izumi only dragged Ritsu and Arashi into Knights because they needed to make up the numbers. And he only became friends with Leo because Leo was the only other guy in Chess who shared his interest in idol activities, and more importantly Leo was the only one persistent enough to keep talking to him. Izumi wasn’t the kind of guy who would demand affection from people around him. He would at most aim for people to love him as an idol or model, and that’s a pretty distanced (safe) sense of love, quite unlike the one he proclaims Makoto has for him. 

Present-day Izumi still chases after that distanced kind of love through his career as an idol and model. He also became meaner in that he constantly puts others down, and while I think he’s more focused on how it compliments or even fights his own harsh self-talk, it does hurt the people around him to have to constantly talk themself back up after Izumi puts them down. Izumi’s kind of shit that way, but we all knew that already. I’m still pretty sympathetic towards him though, because 1. I don’t actually have to talk to him irl and 2. he’s Like This because he’s traumatised and trying to cope.

Izumi, Yuu-kun, the war and Leo

This is where I crack open Midsummers’ Night Dream / Starmine, especially the chapter Prisoner’s Love 1. Runway is also a good story for examining Izumi’s relationship with Makoto and himself, but I don’t have time to analyse that here.

In Starmine Izumi is jetlagged to hell. He has way less energy than usual to put into keeping his fronts up, and we get rare insight into how he actually feels and thinks. 

Izumi in his thoughts, multiple times: Makoto doesn’t love me. I came here to spend time with him as a reward for myself, but the look on his face tells me that this is a real chore for him. He’s only putting up with me for Trickstar.

‘But if Izumi knows how unpleasant Makoto finds him, why does he still harass Makoto?!??’ Here’s where we need context from the previous year (relevant stories are Checkmate and Horror Night Halloween). A summary; Leo gave too much of himself away to people who did not give back to him, including Izumi. Leo broke. This is why Leo is absent for half of !'s timeline. Izumi was there for the whole process and played a huge role in it.

Izumi blames himself for this; for not just failing to protect Leo from others, but also hurting him. Izumi sees himself as the main cause of Leo breaking. He doesn’t even blame Eichi, who spearheaded the war that threw all of it into motion and drove Leo to his breaking point. (Sidenote; this drives me insane. You have so many characters who hate Eichi for the war; Natsume, Shu, Nazuna, and then you have Sena “I never make mistakes, it’s always someone else’s fault” Izumi blaming himself. He and Eichi had a talk in Checkmate about why Leo broke and he squarely blamed himself and told Eichi to look after himself and get indoors so he doesn’t get a cold. Hello???? Izumi?!?? You could say that Izumi blaming himself is just him being self-important. But Leo did pin all his hopes on Izumi, Izumi didn't protest, and they fell apart.) (And another sidenote here; after Leo returns, Izumi deliberately puts distance between them because he is afraid of hurting Leo again. I’m going to lose my marbles.)

What Izumi says in this chapter of Starmine is that he “doesn’t have the right to force [Makoto] to stand by him”, but he wants to do the “thankless” task of protecting Makoto anyway. Izumi doesn’t have grandiose delusions about deserving Makoto’s affection, or even his entitlement to Makoto. He knows he doesn’t have the right to force Makoto to do things, and Makoto wouldn't give him gratitude or appreciation for his ‘protection’. But Izumi wants to protect him anyway because he “failed to do so when they were child models”. [Read: Izumi failed to protect Leo the previous year and he won’t let another person break like that.] 

Izumi when Makoto told him that he’s only checking in on him for others: “I know, Yuu-kun. / Makoto Yuuki-kun. I’ve always known.”

No idea why he decided that his strategy was the best way to protect him, but when you're stuck in past trauma you don't think very logically.

Izumi may have been the one to “survive” the war and hold down the fort while Leo was away, but he was broken down and traumatised too. Leo was his first and only real friend (source: Requiem 30), and Izumi not only played a huge role in breaking him, but also watched the whole process. But unlike Leo, he never quite got the time to heal. As Leo astutely pointed out in Horror Night Halloween, Izumi projected onto Makoto as a way to atone for what he did not do for Leo. But because Izumi never got to heal, he tries to ‘protect’ Makoto in a messed up way that also screwed Makoto over.

Izumi doesn’t lack empathy. 

Izumi is the certified mom friend for a reason. He’s been the mom friend since he was a child model and adopted Makoto, and even as a highschooler Leo’s little sister is fond of him. 

He just keeps nagging people until they take care of themselves. And then he doesn’t get any thanks because he does it in such an annoying way, like dude are you trying to sabotage yourself?? Local guy says he wants love and looks after the people around him, but before people get to thank him he makes himself an asshole and no one feels like thanking him anymore. 

I would argue that yeah he’s subconsciously doing this on purpose. There’s the part where he just doesn’t know how to be honest about being nice, but there’s also the part where he’s setting himself up for failure because he’s trying to atone for his second year with Leo.

Some of Izumi’s mom friend moments:

Starfes where he knit a scarf for Makoto. Typical bonkers Izumi behaviour. But guess what, he also knitted gifts for the rest for Knights. “I needed some practice so I could make the perfect gift for Yuu-kun”, then explain why Kasa-kun’s gift is a toy, Izumi. I don’t know about you but I’m pretty sure that’s harder to make than a scarf and requires you to have already put in quite a few hours into knitting.

Dance on Ice and how nicely he treats Anzu

Starfes when Valkyrie needed help. Izumi: Hmph, Naru-kun’s Mika-chan and Nazunyan’s problems aren’t my problems. Let’s go we need to help them.

Please just read Starfes. It's such a warm story.

I’m sure people with NPD also have moments where they’re nice, but I also just wanted a moment to gush about Izumi being domestic and mushy. And point out that he almost deliberately sets these moments up with at least an annoying sentence or two about how he doesn’t care or the other person sucks. Which ensures the other person would definitely not be in the mood to praise him unless they’re already used to him being tsundere. He’s not calculating these moments to get praise (but I’m also not sure that’s what NPD entails anyway, so).

Izumi also knows he’s a pain in the ass. During graduation, he thanks the people around him for putting up with him. He does say it more than in just Requiem, but that’s the one time he makes sure to be honest and not brush it off by being mean afterwards. Because he didn’t know if they would drift apart after graduation and if that was the last time he would be this close to these people, and these people were too important to him for them not to know. But he also couldn’t stop being an ass after graduation because he’s a mess and doesn’t know how to behave around people and hasn't quite begun to address his trauma, gdi

Izumi cares a lot but doesn’t know how to show it. The war made it worse.

It starts off pre-war when he’s just kind of too shy and proud to show it. I might actually go as far as to say he wasn’t even tsundere before the war; he wasn’t shy about expressing worry for Leo or Ritsu’s well-being, and that was the first time he met Ritsu. But the war was hard on both him and Leo. Both of them got pricklier and pricklier and Izumi never learned how to express care apart from nagging, so it got mixed up with genuine negative emotions and Leo never received positive ones. There’s this traumatising flashback scene in Horror Night Halloween where Izumi and Leo fight; Izumi, in all his frustration, says something like, “I liked you and your songs! But you’ve changed!” and Leo retorts with “That so? This is the first time I’ve heard of this! Say it sooner, wouldn’t you?!?” I don’t doubt that this moment haunts Izumi. (It sure haunts me)

Izumi subsequently became determined to protect those around him. But since he never learnt how to show care properly before this and he’s now traumatised to boot, it manifests in pretty twisted ways.

!! era Izumi

(spoilers for Dark Night’s Passing & Next Door)

By the end of !, Knights’ relationship has become a lot closer and more secure. Knights has a really compelling narrative of all of them being afraid to really get close to others, but over time becoming close enough to each other that they call each other family.

Izumi and Makoto’s relationship has also become more equal. Izumi sees Makoto’s strength and gives him space, but also steps up when Makoto needs help. (SS made me cry, please read it after Summer and Autumn Lives.)

So you would think that maybe Izumi has become better at being honest with himself and at accepting love from others, but. But then Dark Night’s Passing happened.

While Izumi was off in Florence chasing his dreams, Leo got in quite a bit of trouble. I’m not going to try to capture his voice, but Izumi’s inner voice probably went something like, “Oh god I failed to protect Leo-kun again.” Remember when Izumi projected his guilt towards Leo on Makoto? Yeah, trauma triggered again, now Izumi has whisked Leo off to Florence where he can keep an eye on him and they’re living domestically in the same house. The rest of Knights is ringing alarm bells about how overly dependent they are becoming on each other but oh god IzuLeo is going down that same path, again, I- 

!! Era IzuLeo is frankly quite disconcerting but analysing that would require a whole ‘nother post. They’ve both got more self-awareness now but I’m still waiting for the bomb to go off.

But I think Izumi relapsing is great writing. Healing isn't a linear process and people often fall back into old patterns and traumas. 

This was inevitable for Izumi because he never quite forgave himself for what happened during his second year with Leo. Additionally, neither Izumi nor Leo have internalised the idea it was unfair of Leo to put the responsibility over his life in Izumi's hands. No matter how hurt, lost and desperate Leo was, Leo also had a part to play in them falling apart. Leo still struggles not to blame Izumi for every little thing, and Izumi still freaks out when he sees others use Leo.

Both Leo and Izumi fall into old habits, and Izumi still blames himself.

TLDR; 

Izumi cares a lot about the people around him but doesn’t know how to show it. He also has not fully moved on from the war and continues to blame himself for Leo breaking, while ignoring the hurt that he himself suffered. Izumi’s big talk is a front and he doesn’t actually expect people to go through with it, and does not genuinely get mad at people for it. His self-important talk functions as a shield to make himself feel better and way to make other people annoyed so that he won’t get any thanks for the help he gives, just like he probably thinks he deserves. Izumi remains pretty traumatised after the war and I think he should go for therapy.

Going back to the original ask about NPD, I'm quite uncomfortable with making any assertions, not just because I don't understand the bare minimum about NPD, but because of the ideas associated with it. I've never seen NPD talked about in a way that doesn't cast the person with it as a sub-human being that lacks basic human empathy. I do believe that you have a more nuanced view on NPD since you’re familiar enough with the term to use its acronym without clarification, and I'm open to learning more about NPD but it would still make me uncomfortable to agree that Izumi has NPD when I know so little about it.

Regarding NPD’s bad image: I think it's valid of the people that have been hurt to embrace their hurt and not deny the way they've been treated. Sometimes honouring these feelings can take the form of demonising the person who hurt them. Especially since people who’ve been hurt have probably been told that the person is doing things out of love, and must’ve struggled to acknowledge their feelings. It’s also really trashy to try to invoke sympathy for people who’ve inflicted trauma in a space for people who have been hurt by them. These kinds of spaces are where I usually see discussions on NPD and maybe why I’ve only ever seen NPD in a bad light.

But I don’t feel that it’s fair if uninvolved people also take this view of the person. Maybe there really is something fundamentally un-human with the person! Or maybe, like Izumi, they’re traumatised people who do things that hurt others in their struggle to cope, and haven’t realized it because they can’t even bring themselves to recognise their own trauma. Maybe that’s the reality of NPD and Izumi really would have it. I don’t know. Although like Izumi with Makoto, it doesn’t erase the hurt that they’ve caused or make it any less. 

In Izumi's case, if he would get diagnosed with NPD I think it would fundamentally be because of his behaviour and how it impedes his ability to relate to others in a healthy manner. That being said, I think it would be better to just send him for therapy for those behaviours rather than labelling him as having NPD. I think he would just buckle down and try to defend his pride - or rather, his self-image, which is already not the best. I think it would close him off to listening and acknowledging how deeply hurt he is. 

Izumi doesn't lack empathy or think of himself as some bigshot, even if at first glance it seems that way. Izumi has been terribly hurt and never dared to let anyone come close to dress the wounds. His trauma resulted in the off-the-cuff and unhealthy way in which he deals with people. And yet, despite being so hurt, he continues to care about the people around him. 

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the cats / the owners

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leo from enstars is autistic

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Mao and Ritsu - Ensemble Stars!!: Road to Show!! - Dir: Masakazu Hishida - Mar 4, 2022

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[Translation] Spider / Epilogue

Backstage on the day of "ES Halloween" performances

Kohaku: Koh-koh-koh~! It's just a normal stage! So this is where the performance will be when we're up! It's not a scary haunted house!

Rinne: During rehearsals it was pretty tough. Since the stage is inside the haunted house, we needed to visit the haunted house while it was still up and running.

HiMERU: We ended up using the back entrance. As it turns out, the back of the haunted house isn't much different from the front since the current haunted house staff are on break in the waiting room.

Niki: Before, whenever you saw a ghost you'd scream really loud it could be heard from outside. But now I think you've really come far since your fists don't go crazy! You should really be proud of yourself, Kohaku-chan!

Kohaku: Sh-shut up!

Rinne: Well, it's okay. If something is scary then it's scary. What's really horrifying is the inability to feel anymore, whether is fear, pain, sadness, loneliness. When you can scream loud when you run into something you hate, that's proof right there that your heart's alive!

Kohaku: Hmph!

Niki: Rinne-kun says some wise things sometimes, right? Whenever that happens I can't help but think he's got some sort of doppelgänger or something.

Rinne: Niki-kyuuuun. Should I make that injury made with makeup look more real...?

Niki: Eh?! No thank you! I don't want that at all!

Rinne: I say things from poems and maxims* all the time. Don't go mocking me, Rinne-kun, the modern-day Goethe** okayyy?

HiMERU: That would be an insult to Goethe. You're like a parrot mimicking the same thing. The only thing Amagi ever talks about is pachinko, money, and gambling.

Rinne: Ah! Merumeru you're so meeeaaan! Isn't that going too far? Oop, shit. While we were too busy goofing off, it's almost time for the "unit" before us to go up! Alrighty, places everyone!

Kohaku: Wait just a minute!

Niki: ? Kohaku-chan, what's wrong?

Kohaku: ....When I say Halloween what do you think of?

Rinne: Ha? What do you mean?

Niki: Maybe pumpkins and sweets?

HiMERU: --Or perhaps costumes and it being the day before All Saints Day***?

Kohaku: Th-that's not it! That's not what I'm trying to say...ummm....Try this. What greeting do you say when you meet someone on Halloween?!

Rinne + Niki: You mean "Trick or Treat"?

Kohaku: ....Yeah. Take this.

HiMERU: --These are...? Cookies, aren't they?

Niki: Oh, these. Aren't these the ones we made together earlier?

Kohaku: I was really pissed at Rinne-han for making light of me, but everyone came along for my sake. So that's why I have to thank you, and I'll only say it once....everyone, thanks a lot.

HiMERU: .....

Niki: ......

Kohaku: What. Don't smile at me like that.

Rinne: Bwahaha....! Y-you're very welcome, Kohaku-chan...! Kukuku, aren't you just the cutest...fufu...

Kohaku: ......

Rinne: Oop! That's dangerous. Looks can kill more so than words right? If I laugh any harder than this, I might end up not being able to do any more shows after this one.

Kohaku: Alright! It's "Crazy:B"s turn! Halloween is today. So let's go out and enjoy ourselves!

Rinne: "'Trick or Treat!' Let's get this show moving or else I'll play a little trick on you!"

HiMERU: "Wouldn't that make it 'Trick or Enjoy'?"

Niki: "Well, that's fine. Today is a fun, fuuun Halloween. So let's not get too wrapped up in the details!"

Niki: "There's a bunch of thrilling events, but Halloween is the one that I love the most of them all!"

Kohaku: "By the way, Niki-han. Didn't you say you liked Halloween because you got a lot of sweets?"

Niki: "Fufun~ It's not only about that. Isn't Halloween a holiday that brings people worldwide together with just candy? In other words, it's an event that's the definition of love making the world go round!"

Kohaku: "I won't be snarky about it, but I don't have a clue what you mean by that. Just look at the audience too, they've all got the same blank look on their faces."

Kohaku: "Everyone, sorry about that. Today is Halloween isn't it? Today is the only day we get to go crazy and run around as spider-like ghosts, so we're just having a lii~iitle bit of fun. Today, we're going to ensnare you all and make you our prey. We are spider-like ghosts after all. We, 'Crazy:B', won't let you get away. Prepare yourselves....~"

Kohaku + Niki: ....~♪

Kohaku: Heyhey, Rinne-han. There's still some dust you missed here, so be careful.

Rinne: Riiiight. --This is so not fair! We were having such a great time during the live yesterday, so why the hell are me and Niki being bossed around by Kohaku-chan and being told to clean up!

Niki: Cleaning this place is my job, so the only one being made to do it is you, Rinne-kun.

HiMERU: --Amagi. Don't just plop the mop on the floor, it'll kick up dust.

Rinne: Merumeru! Why are you the only one that gets to sit by elegantly drinking Cola?! You're the only one not cleaning!

Kohaku: Fufu, obviously. I appreciate you going out of your way to help me out but...I gotta make sure I punish Rinne-han for making fun of me for laughs~

Rinne: There's no way I agree with this!

Kohaku: Move your hands instead of running your mouth. Or else. Do you want my fists instead of a game of punishment?

Rinne: I'll get rid of all the grime!

Niki: Oh how the tables have turned.

Kohaku: Heyhey. Hurry up and finish cleaning already so we can finish up our game of mahjong from last time. All four of us can play today. If one of our members can't play then it's not as good. Mahjong is best when played with four people, after all.

(*): Maxim - noun, "a short, pithy statement expressing a general truth or rule of conduct." Basically a principle or proverb.

(**): Off the top of my head Goethe is pretty much the German Shakespeare. Idk much about him but take that explanation until I look him up a bit more.

(***): A Christian holiday that occurs on Nov. 1st

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