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as a kid i had one of those “there’s a monster under my bed” moments except real.

every night i would cry about a ghost or something trying to scare me by knocking on my bedroom windows and walls. like, really loudly, every hour or so, every night. only at night. so my dad was like “heh okay kiddo let’s check it out :) ah see? there’s nothing here :)” and left.

until years later he admitted to me that he did in fact hear the unexplainable knocking when he slept in that room one night, and it kept him awake with fear. and suddenly felt awful for not believing little kid me.

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wags my stupid fucking tail

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fascinating

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Update: I bought it

Baffling find at the used book store today

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he thinks he's being so smooth with his little face on my leg. i SEE you, villain

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Unmute !

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So funny when super conventionally attractive people have weird ass tumblr personality disorder and chronic poster syndrome like I’ll scroll through your blog and see some of the weirdest shit anyone has ever said and then get jump scared by a picture of the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen which is then followed by some more of the weirdest shit anyone has ever said

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Spent a solid thirty seconds staring at a green washcloth that was balled up just so wondering why there was a moss-covered rock in the linen closet. Brain fog side effect real.

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girl me too

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acid reflux is caused by evil spirits trying to deprive you of energy by making it painful to consume essential foods such as burger and coca cola. you must push through the pain or you'll never be strong enough to defeat them

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You can always make a post that says "my pussy tastes like PlayStation"