funnyincorrectmcu

funnyincorrectmcu

Incorrect MCU

Because it's fun and I'm still recovering from Endgame and FFH. ll Ships on This Blog: Irondad and Spiderson (NO STARKER!!!), Pepperony, Spideychelle, InterWebs, Stony, Brutasha, IronStrange, Science Bros.

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Fun Fact

There's almost an equal split between the sexes on Tumblr - 51% male, 49% female.

funnyincorrectmcu·8 hours agoText

Ned: Why do you have a fake ID? You’re old enough to vote, and you don’t drink. There is literally no point. 
MJ: I don’t have to explain myself to you.
Peter: *not looking up from his phone* She wanted another ID so she could borrow twice as many books from the library at once.

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funnyincorrectmcu·17 hours agoText

(Flushing pot brownies down the toilet)

Betty: Are you sure this’ll work?

Ned: This is how you get rid of drugs, Betty. I’ve seen Goodfellas like 20 times.

MJ: It’s not the only way. I watched this film once about a girl who was trying to hide drugs and what she did was she shoved them RIGHT up her-

Flash: I’m not sticking a brownie up my hole, MJ, I’ll tell you that for nothing.

Betty: OK, I’m gonna flush.

Peter: Go for it.

*Toilet doesn’t flush*

Peter: Is it working?

Ned, optimistically: Of course it’s working.

Betty: Is the water rising?!

Peter: Jesus Christ! Why is the water rising, Ned?

Ned: I don’t know! The water didn’t rise in Goodfellas!

Flash: Fuck! We’ve clogged it.

MJ: Who has a plunger?

*Silence*

Flash, sarcastically: I’m afraid I left my plunger at home tonight, MJ.

MJ: Aye, me too. Nightmare, so it is.

*Water begins to over flow the toilet*

All of them: Eeughhhh, ahhhhh!

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funnyincorrectmcu·2 days agoText

Tony: Okay listen, I know about your diabolical plan. 
Loki: What? Diabolical plan? I wouldn’t even know how to begin–
Tony: *holds up a fifty-page booklet titled “My Diabolical Plan by Loki* 
Loki: …
Loki: Never seen that before in my life.

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funnyincorrectmcu·2 days agoText

Tony: Do you always run head on into certain death?
Peter: Not always. 
Ned: It’s true. I once saw him hop into certain death, but that was mostly because his ankle was sprained at the time. 
Tony: *facepalms* 

267 notes · See All
funnyincorrectmcu·3 days agoText

Peter: You know, my sarcasm’s probably gonna get me killed someday. Someone’ll be holding a knife in my general vicinity and I’m gonna say something stupid like “What are you gonna do? Stab me?”
Tony: …
Tony: The scariest part is that I completely believe that.

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funnyincorrectmcu·3 days agoText

Clint: What are you talking about! I’m the backbone of this group. 
Nat: I love you, but no. 
Bruce: You’re more like the appendix of this group. 
Tony: No one knows what you’re here for. 
Steve: Prone to explode at any moment. 
Thor: And a bit of a pain to remove. 
Clint: …
Clint: Well fuck you all too.

226 notes · See All
funnyincorrectmcu·6 days agoText

Clint: No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Dear God, no.

Steve: What’s wrong?

Clint: I think I forgot my arrows.

Steve: I can see your arrows right there.

Clint, panicking: No, those are my exploding arrows. I’m talking about my ice arrows. I can’t find my ice arrows, Steve.

Natasha, joining Clint in prayer: Blessed Saint Anthony, the grace of God has made you the patron saint of all things lost and stolen. I turn to you with childlike love and deep confirdence-

Steve: Look, Clint, calm down-

Clint: CALM DOWN, STEVE? We have no ice arrows! We can’t fight the fire monster without ice arrows! We’re ice arrow-less. We don’t have an ice arrow between us!

Clint: Oh, God, I think… *deep breath* I think I’m having a panic attack. *deep breath* Oh, stupid ice arrows.

Steve: Over this? So what happened back there, when we were nearly blown up, that was totally fine, but this, this, is worth having a panic attack about?

Clint: I don’t know. You’re going to have to turn around!

Steve: There is more chance of me eloping with Tony to A FLIP-FLOP SHOP IN HAWAII!!

Clint: Look, okay, fine! But that means that we won’t be able to ice any monsters, which means they’ll burn us, which means we’ll die. So, you know, on your head be it, Steve!

Natasha, barely holding back a laugh: Oh, actually, do you know what? I think I put it in the back weapons storage.

Steve, sarcastically: Flase alarm there, Saint Anthony. Sorry for troubling you.

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funnyincorrectmcu·8 days agoText

Tony, after getting Peter out of a situation he got them into: glad to see your alive kid.

Peter: im not alive, I’m just not-dead.

Steve: damn right you’re not dead until I lecture you for that stunt you just pulled!

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funnyincorrectmcu·10 days agoText

Peter: *walking through a dark room towards the faint glow of the single street light reflected in the mirror in the room across the hall*
Tony: Can you even see where you’re going?
Peter: *runs into door*
Peter: Kind of.

316 notes · See All
funnyincorrectmcu·11 days agoText

Shuri: *posting on social media* Fuck algebra. I don’t need it. Just give me a dead body and I’ll figure it out from there. 
Shuri: *five minutes later* I feel like I should clarify that I’m a mortuary science major.

233 notes · See All
funnyincorrectmcu·11 days agoText

(Playing a Song Challenge Game)
Harley: What’s a song you can use to get a creative boost? 
Peter: I don’t know. 
Peter: Wait! I’ve got it. 
Peter: *plays “Everyone is Gay” by A Great Big World*
Harley: *rolls eyes* Right, cause that sparks inspiration. 
Peter: Of course it does! “Oh I know! My main character will be gay.” 
Harley: “My main character will be named ‘gay person’, and you’ll never believe his sexuality.” 
Peter: Plot twist: he’s actually straight. 
Harley: Plot twist: he’s actually a zombie. 
Peter: Plot twist: he’s a gay zombie. 
Tony: ???

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