funsizepunkelf

[funsizepunkelf]

Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.

#tumblr stuff #reblog

[funsizepunkelf]

Dolly Parton has come to do a show in my town. We couldn't afford tickets, so me and my mom sold my stepdad so we could go.

It turned out that we sold him to Dolly Parton, she made him sing with her and then she gave him back.

#oh god the flashbacks #im dying #that was hilarious

[funsizepunkelf]

tiktok is such an awful app, it's almost designed to feed you misinformation and expose you to insane discourse. unlike beloved tumblr, the app that feeds me misinformation and exposes me to insane discourse

[funsizepunkelf]

One time my rabbi told us, “imagine you had a box with a little bit of god in it. What would you do with the box?”

So we were like ?? “We’d protect it and keep it nice and clean and polished” and he was like “your body’s that box. Stop eating markers”

[funsizepunkelf]

[funsizepunkelf]

I still think that my favorite urban legend/folklore fact is that there are certain areas in New Orleans where you cannot get a taxi late at night not because it isn’t safe, but because taxi companies have had recurring problems of picking up ghosts in those areas who are not aware that they are dead and disappearing from the cab before reaching the destination and therefore stiffing the driver on the fare causing a loss for the company.

[funsizepunkelf]

[funsizepunkelf]

I feel like a lot of people don’t quite get what a butler is. The role tends to get rounded off to ‘male servant’ pretty regularly in some media, whereas actually butlers are typically not just servants but chief servants. The butler was generally in charge of either all male servants or just all servants, period, in the household of an aristocrat or other very wealthy person. This meant that butlers have often been fairly powerful and influential people, and sometimes even had a manservant or two of their own.

(Also, fun fact: Mary Roberts Rinehart, the early 20th century mystery writer who is widely credited with popularizing the whole ‘the butler did it’ trope was nearly murdered by one of her own servants, a chef whom she had passed over for promotion to butler. He came at her with a pistol, but it jammed, allowing her chauffeur time to wrestle it away and restrain him.)

[funsizepunkelf]

the only good innovation from facebook was the poke feature. tumblr needs the poke. when a cute girl is mass reblogging me and i don't wanna call them out to their face but i wanna go hey. i see you. being cute. rubbing your face on my blog like a cat. that's what the poke's for

[funsizepunkelf]

[funsizepunkelf]

i'm literally begging people to relearn how to use earbuds and headphones. i don't wanna hear your fucking tiktok while im waiting for my flight.

[funsizepunkelf]

tumblr every april fools

[funsizepunkelf]

#light

[funsizepunkelf]

― Ocean Vuong, On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous

#quote

[funsizepunkelf]

I want to write a book called “your character dies in the woods” that details all the pitfalls and dangers of being out on the road & in the wild for people without outdoors/wilderness experience bc I cannot keep reading narratives brush over life threatening conditions like nothing is happening.

I just read a book by one of my favorite authors whose plots are essentially airtight, but the MC was walking on a country road on a cold winter night and she was knocked down and fell into a drainage ditch covered in ice, broke through and got covered in icy mud and water.

Then she had a “miserable” 3 more miles to walk to the inn.

Babes she would not MAKE it to that inn.

#useful

[funsizepunkelf]

[funsizepunkelf]