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fxllenmuse · 4 years

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this sort of kind of reminds me of this class i had a few years ago where we talked about boundaries, how to keep them, and how to make sure people near you are safe too. probably because i think about it most of the time lol

the instructor was this big tall kind of imposing man who commented on how this exercise was one of the only times he thought that was a good thing. he asked for a volunteer and had them stand a few feet away from the wall on one end of the classroom while he walked over to the one opposite them. it was a big room so he was pretty far away

“i’m going to walk towards you and talk to you about my son,” he explained, in a totally friendly and disarming way. “im just going to talk and maybe gesture a little and walk towards you, just talking! and when i get too close, all you have to do is tell me to stop and i’ll stop. its ok! really! i wont be upset at all and this is just a class, i’ll stop on a dime!”

and then he did exactly what he said he was going to, but very loud and walking kind of fast. the room echoed and everyone was watching. he hadn’t lied at all, but it was just kind of a lot. the volunteer immediately took a step back and looked more guarded but didn’t say anything until he was basically on top of her.

he stopped, and then he asked her “when did you WANT me to stop?”

she admitted that she was a little uncomfortable about how fast he was moving from the start, but halfway across the room is when she really didnt want him closer.

“yeah, i know! i was paying attention. i saw your nonverbal cues right away, but a lot of people who preface their actions with a speech like mine won’t. by constantly reassuring someone they can tell you to stop, the responsibility falls on YOU instead, in their eyes, and also makes you second guess using that to begin with! because you knew i didnt want to hurt you, or thought you knew that, the idea of telling me to stop, of suggesting i wasn’t safe, made you second guess your gut and worry about my feelings. it’s good to check in like i did, but it doesn’t mean you can stop being perceptive, and you have to keep in mind that just because you give them this tool doesn’t mean they’ll feel comfortable using it. once you understand that, there will be a lot fewer cases of people “blowing up” at you”

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fxllenmuse · 4 years

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I was wondering what kind of female black characters do people want to see more of? Like, them being soft or selfish?

Black Girls & Women: Representation We Want

As a Black woman reader, I definitely want to see more soft Black girls and women in literature. Girls with their own self-interests (caring about oneself isn’t necessarily selfish) and not always someone else’s caregiver is great too.

Here’s my list!

More Black girls…

In love

With close family bonds and healthy relationships and support systems (that don’t require enduring abuse, fixing their partner, or overall emotional labor to earn domestic happiness)

Being protected

As main characters, heroines and anti-heroes

On adventures

In fantasy and magical settings

In historical settings as peasants, upper-class society, and royalty

Descriptions of Black Afro hair, skin, features as a normal thing in books (see this compilation) and not in an Othering way

On the other hand, vibrant, sometimes hyped up descriptions that allude to their beauty (see this ask. Or this one). Not Othering, just appreciating!

Put us in fancy dresses and give us a sword and let us dance at the balls and have admirers!

Experiencing complex emotions not necessarily in reaction to racism or racist violence

On the book cover! And with an accurate, not light or white-washed model

~Mod Colette

Responses:

@madamef-er

Soft black girls and nerd girls who like cute things.

Shy black girls not just in situations with boys.

More lgbtqia+ black girls. Studs! Femmes!

Gender fluid and non conforming constantly changing their style because they like it!

Spies and not just as the ‘sexy bait’ or ‘weapons master’ let us sit behind the computer for once and be hackers and stuff

@tanlefan

Black girls who are just…people.

I want a fantasy escapism adventure that isn’t a thinly veiled discussion on slavery or racism or any other aspect of The Struggle. I am tired.

Can I just have a happy Black girl who believes in fairies or something?

@esmeraldanacho-1776More autistic Black women/girls! I don’t care what genre really; just have them in there!

@briarsthicketAnd enby black people!

@mattiekins

Def soft black girls.

Energetic and playful.

Or shy and quiet.

I want to see more black girls who are nerds and not just mommy mommying or nanny nannying everyone.

I want black girls who want to be a ballerina, or a talk show host, or a game designer etc.

I want a black girl who gets to be happy.

Who doesn’t have to act older than she is and be the shoulder for everyone, always.

@xiiishadesofgrey

I want more black lady nerds, if we’re talking modern settings!

More black ladies who have a sporty/playful nature!

Who aren’t afraid to get dirty and make chaos, without being dirty or frowned upon!

Strange as it sounds coming from me, more black princesses! Brandy as Cinderella in the 90s was my first Cinderella, and I LOVE that.

Please, god, more black wlws.

@daintythoughtswritersblock

I want to see tropes exercised

Black women of all shades and tones

@hazelnut4370

Tbh just fellow black people being happy, like I rarely see that,

Or enjoying hobbies

rivergoddessdream

Happily childless black women

Black women traveling the world

Fat black women in happy, healthy, poly relationships

Black cis and trans women having a true sisterhood

Autistic black women

Black women in period pieces that aren’t about slavery and don’t take place in the US

Black women thespians

Black women painters

Black women revolutionaries

Black women front and center in the narrative

Black women healers and storytellers

Non christian Black women stories

Black women rockers

#complicated black women characters #tell those stories

@missnancywrites

More Black Girls…

With diverse cultural and social backgrounds!

That are nerdy, girly, intelligent, ditzy, all the personality types that white girls in literature get!

That are fragile, shy or anxious. Almost every single black woman I’ve seen in media or otherwise are wise and adult. Let us be an absolute wreck, or an anxious mess!

In science! Characters like Shuri, Moon Girl and Iron Heart in Marvel revitalized me, cuz young black girls only get two types. Both these girls are in intellectual and in science, but have bery different personalities.

In interracial relationships, and not because they hate black men or something along those lines. They just happen to be dating outside their race, black women get hate for that in real life and it’s unfair. Let us have relationships outside our race! That said…

In platonic relationships with black men! I think that’s important, cuz I don’t often seen black solidarity unless it’s for the purpose of showing how diverse the writing is. Let them share interests, daily frustrations that they would only understand, but don’t force a romance.

In solid friendships with other black girls! For some reason, we’re pitted against in each other inside and outside of writing! Write some sweet wholesome friendship!

With different sexualities! Let there be some that are ace, others are gay, bi or pan! Just be sure you don’t sexualize them, or turn em into a robot.

•Who are dark-skinned! This can be seen a lot in tv or movies, but when you want a black girl in your stuff don’t just hire a light-skinned black girl or a biracial black girl. It’s not the same.

Who get to act their age! Black women have a long standing history of being adultified, starting from a very young age, and it’s extremely harmful. Little black girls can wear what they please, the problem is people sexualizing them. Let the teen black girl be a teenager, she can look out for her siblings but she isn’t the keepern the house or their lives. Young adult black girls are not ideal housewives or capable working machines, they mess up and mess around just as much as any young adult.

With mental/physical disabilities or illnesses. Alongside with being forced to be more mature than they are, disabilities/illnesses are never taken seriously and we’re forced to just deal with it. Having black girls who happen to have these issues, but also have a healthy support group is always good!

@ink-and-roses

Seen as beautiful and desirable and NOT in a hypersexualized way

Interracial relationships are wonderful because black girls are beautiful and lbr everybody sees it

Sensitive and allowed to feel something other than righteous anger

Some black girls are skinny! Some are big! Some are slim and some are curvy! There’s no mold!

Dark skinned!

A YA protagonist out to save the world from something other than racism

Superpowers or magic that doesn’t come from generational trauma or slavery

Black characters who support other black characters. None of this token crabs in a barrel business.

Black girl nerds and punks and goths exist. I promise.

And this may be a personal preference but I’m not against the idea of a damsel in distress. We are always being strong. Let her be soft and delicate and cared for. Let her be princess carried and rescued from the tower and the dragon.

[Note from Mod: It’s not just you! I love a Black damsel being saved and protected. What is progressive for one woman varies due to historical and present depictions and is why intersectionality in feminism is so important! -Colette]

@nightlyswordswoman

As a writer, I write a lot of my black female characters like this because I rarely ever see black women being represented in these ways! ESPECIALLY on the covers of books, unless the author themselves is a black woman and even then its rare.

Too often black women are stereotyped as strong protector types that are always rough, tough, and don’t need anybody in books (and real life), when that’s honestly just dumb and inaccurate–black women are as vulnerable as anyone else (in some cases, even more vulnerable, but that’s another topic).

So yeah, this list is 100% accurate and I encourage those who are interested in writing black female characters (whether you’re a black woman or not) to consider writing them like this, because the stereotype needs to die lol.

But wait, there’s more!

@just-a-swsh-fangirl As an anime fan I kinda want to see a white male protagonist be paired up (romantically) with a black female at the end of the series. It would make my black self happy to see a girl like me in an important role like that.

@tgingwe

Black girls in STEM, pleaaase

Black girls with ADHD, depression, and other mental health conditions!

Black girls with supportive families!

Pan black girls!

African black girls, with cultures that impact their lives and with complex relationships between their specific identities/cultures and the idea of being perceived as just black outside of Africa!

Happy Trans Black girls!

@starcrossedrose

Love triangles where a black character gets to be with the guy or girl in the end.

Love triangles revolving around a black character.

Black retellings of fairy tales

Black characters in royal positions (King, Queen, Princes, Princesses, etc.)

@superviza

soft,reserved,emotional,shy, spirited, spunky, bubbly, corny, weird black women

a black woman in a healthy relationship with a black man who has a healthy obsession with her

little black girls

modest black women

black women without a criminal to success backstory

black women they were raised in a healthy family with both black parents who are still living

black women in interracial relationships that aren’t necessarily white

no tokens, several black women together with no beef

black women in fantasy

black women in friendship with ppl of other races and ethnicities

black women who get to feel and express emotion with it being a threat

@sappho-of-etheria

Black girls who don’t live in the US

black girls who are daughters of immigrants and have complex relationships with both their homeland and the land their family is from

Black girls with healthy relationships with their parents

black girls who are indecisive about their lives and struggling to find their place in the world and the reason not being racism

LGBTQ+ black girls with families that accept them and celebrate them

More black witches/magic users who don’t fall in the magical negro type.

Quirky black girls who have endearing and unusual interests

Black girls who both love sterotypical and non-stereotypical black things

Black girls having supportive friendship groups and not being the one who constantly needs to support the others

Black girls saving the world

Black girls having a love interest who loves them and cherishes them not because they think they are weak but because they want them to be safe and happy

Black girls being the cherished love interest

Black girls being thought of the most gorgeous girl and not being overly sexualized

Black girls and their siblings/friends going to another world a la Chronicles of Narnia

Black girls being the chosen ones and saving the world

Black girls in medieval fantasy stories and not just being a slave or the handmaiden of the white princess

Black girs with different and complex relationships with their womanhood and how they express it

Black girls with different hair textures

But above all else I just want black girls to be able to have the same range in character as their white counterparts. I am tired of never being able to relate to characters that look like me

last updated: 6.28.2020

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