gay-redneck-space-dads

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Me right now. Haven't seen it yet because I'm on strike.

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Peter: Ma, dad, meet my new husband.

Tony: PETER, put me down you giant!

Yondu and Kraglin: Oh boy.

*need more starkquill

#guardians of the galaxy #kraglin obfonteri #parent yondu #parent kraglin #yondad #peter quill #yondu udonta #tony stark

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day 1020: otp still is not canon

day 995: my otp is still not canon

#destiel #johnlock #merthur #wolfstar #sabriel #doctor x jack #is my otp canon yet #newdance

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Dad-Yondu and baby-Peter feels. I’ve been reading wayyy too many fanfics.

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Ravagers Family: “When Peter loses things“

Kraglin is always the one who saves the day at all u_u 

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Each time I watch the Guardians (and Ravager-Guardians aka Yondu and Kraglin) interact with Baby Groot during serious situations, I just love to headcanon that the Ravager used to treat Peter in a similar way when he was a child, especially Yondu.

I mean, like – a fight is going on? Somebody puts Peter in a spot where he can see the fight and they can keep an eye on him, but where he isn’t in the middle of a crossfire.

“’kay, Pete, ye stay ‘ere and we get rid of the a-holes over there.”

“Okay.”

“And put yer music on really loud, ‘kay?”

“Yup!”

And Peter sits in his hiding spot, humming along to his music while he presses his earphones tightly against his ears. He has promised not to look so he doesn’t, and that’s a good thing, because the Ravagers are especially quick and brutal about their “work” when they know that there’s a child that could be discovered and dragged into this mess at any point of time. Only when they are sure that there’s nothing moving anymore do they go and pick up Peter again, making sure that he’s tucked tightly against one of them so he doesn’t have to see the slaughter.

Because for all their roughness, many of the Ravagers have got to know death and horror too early in their lives, and if they can spare a child for a while, they will do so. Peter will have to deal with this early enough.

 Or when they prepare to fly away, probably for a quick escape:

“Move yer asses, you lazy bitches – Quill, seatbelt, now!”

“But…!”

“Seatbelt, boy, or I chuck ya out the airlock!”

“Do as Capt’n says, buddy, we gonna jump now.”

 Or when they are in the middle of a quick brawl, Peter old enough now to be able to watch, and one of the nicer Ravagers catches his gaze and gives a tiny wave over to the child while grinning brightly, although he has already been hurt in the fight.

They also make sure that Peter is close to them, now that he’s older, which means that he either hides behind Yondu during the fight, or tucked closely to the side of one of the sharpshooters (mainly Kraglin) or gets carried by someone during all of it.

And when coming back from a mission and they make a quick survey if everyone is there, Peter is called out first – “Where’s the Terran, guys?” – and Peter learns to answer “HERE!” really quick and loud because if he doesn’t and they don’t see him immediately, hell breaks loose, Yondu starts bellowing orders and everyone freaks out cause holy shit we lost the kid, Capt’n is gonna kill us.

Just… the Ravager knowing that they can’t treat a child like they would one of them, no matter if they want to make them useful, and thus holding back a bit with the kid until he is older.

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Peter(age 18): *marching through the ship* I am a grown up. I can do what I want. I live with space pirates. I listen to no one without orders. I am a functional, independent person.

*Not even an hour later*

Yondu: Whassa matter, boy?

Peter: *clings to Yondu's leg* I am not prepared for adulthood and I don't know what to do and I am frightend and please never leave me.

#guardians of the galaxy #parent yondu #peter quill #yondad #yondu udonta #adulthood isn't fun and i am terrified of it

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Peter(age 8): That's not how you do it.

Crewman: Well who says it needs to be done right. Ya little bas-

*A whistle sends the Yaka arrow to hover over Peter's head, aimed straight at the crewman's throat.*

Crewman: *focuses past the arrow and sees Yondu not far off or even looking at them and Kraglin sharpening his full knife collection with a glare.*

Crewman: *sweats nervously and color drains from his face* Alright then, lad. Show me this "Paddy cate" again.

Peter: It's Patty Cake.

#guardians of the galaxy #peter quill #yondu #yondu udonta #kraglin #kraglin obfonteri #parent yondu #parent kraglin #yondad #mama kraglin #patty cake

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Sleep well young star lord, papa yondu will not let the ravages eat you tonight

(I know it’s the wrong fin, I just love it too much to care!)

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Peter told her while drunk. Maybe it was him that garbled it?

Y’know, there’s a GOTG thought that keeps coming back to me…

“Zardu Hasselfrau” doesn’t actually sound in the least bit like “David Hasselhoff”, especially not the first part. “Zardu” doesn’t sound like “David”… but it does kind of sound like “Yondu.” So I wonder…

Did Gamora’s translation software, trying to locate the right word for “the man Peter wishes was his actual father” manage to just completely garble the name Yondu instead?

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We all need this shirt

Yep ;)

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Peter (After a nightmare caused by the crew telling stories about the scariest creatures they've encountered): There's a monster under my bed.

Yondu: *raises a brow, but checks anyway* OBLO, THE HECK YOU DOIN UNDER THERE!?

Oblo: Bad dream, sir.

Yondu: *Silent. Stands and grabs Peter off the bed.* Right, Petey, you go ahead and come sleep with us. Oblo...man up and get back to the crew quarters.

Oblo: aww.

#guardians of the galaxy #peter quill #yondu udonta #yondu and peter #oblo #nightmare #ravegers #crew #baby peter #baby!peter #baby peter quill #baby!peter quill #yondad #oblo is the most childish of the ravegers #oblo is innocent...for a raveger

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Peter (any age): Hey dad, I'm hungry.

Yondu: Hi, Hungery, I'm dad.

Peter:

Peter: I'm so done

Yondu: No, you're hungery.

Peter: MA, HELP!

#peter and yondu #peter quill #yondu udonta #yondad #parent yondu #parent kraglin #mother kraglin #dad jokes #hi hungry i'm dad

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Peter (age 8): Hey dad, can I-

Yondu: Go ask your ma.

Peter:

Peter: Hey kraglin

#peter quill #yondu udonta #mother kraglin #parent kraglin #kraglin obfonteri #yondad #parent yondu #go ask your mother #guardians of the galaxy

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Humans are Weird But It’s Peter Quill

*Human children grow teeth, only to lose them. They proceed to grow their teeth back.

 The fight hadn’t meant to get so out of hand. And Peter really shouldn’t have been so close to the brawl. These facts didn’t seem to help the newbie’s case as the nine year old Terran’s cheek grew red and a shrill whistle sent an arrow just inches from piercing the skin between the newbie’s eyes. 

 Of course the Captain and First Mate had chosen the moment Peter was accidentally punched in the mouth to enter the mess. Neither looking happy as they strode over to scene. Kraglin going to stand by Peter, who’d began twitching his lips in a swishing motion, while Yondu came to stand before the man with the arrow was aimed.

 “What’cha think ya doin to my boy?” Yondu asked.

 The recruit kept quiet. He knew a rhetorical question when asked one. He just didn’t know how to get himself out of this mess. Their were certain rules when you came aboard the Eclector. One such rule was Don’t Endanger Or Harm The Captain’s Terran. Yet here he was, about to be killed by his captain because the runt didn’t know to keep back from a fight.

 Yondu had stared at him long and hard before whistling the arrow a few feet from the recruits head. It was still aimed at him but now the recruit could move his head without touching the weapon.

 “Y’know,” Yondu thought aloud as he turned his gaze towards Peter, “it’s been getting a little more difficult to find recruits as of late. Seeing as this is your first error, I may just let it slide.”

 The recruit tried to conceal his relieved sigh in favor of bowing his head. He didn’t see the glare the first mate sent to Yondu. Nor the passive wave Yondu returned him before a blue hand reached for the Terran boy who had yet to quit twitching his mouth.

 “I’m sure young Quill here has something to say to you though. So whatever it is, you take it.”

 Yondu obviously meant for the kid to take a swing at the recruit rather then actually say anything. Practice to teach the kid not to take crap from anyone. Still didn’t change the fact a soft, nine year old Terran couldn’t hit worth-

 “Go on, Petey,“ Yondu patted the boy’s shoulder.

 The orange haired boy glanced up at the captain before turning back to the recruit and motioning him to lean closer down. The recruit done so, leaving a few inches of distance between his face and the kid‘s. Peter reeled back his head some before spitting into the recruit’s face. It took a moment of trying to get self control not to hit the kid in retaliation before the recruit realized something had hit his nose.

 Looking down between their feet, the recruit saw a small, bloody tooth. Reaching a hand up to his face, he wiped the spit away and found it was all red with blood. A trickle of red dripped down from the kid’s lips as Peter laughed at the dawning horror on the other’s face.

 No one dared risk a hit at Peter again. No matter that the kid still lost a couple more teeth later from biting into a fruit and pulling one straight out of his mouth. Or the fact he seemed to grow them back. A handful of Ravegers even held a small amount of fear towards the Terran race.

#guardians of the galaxy #humans are weird #humans are space orcs #peter quill #yondu udonta #kraglin obfonteri #yondad #parent yondu #parent kraglin #peter and yondu #teeth #losing a tooth

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Peter: So dad, you doing anything tonight?

Yondu: *without looking up* Yeah, your mama.

Gamora: *to Peter* That was rude of him to say about your mother.

Peter: Huh? Oh, no. He wasn’t talking about my mother. He was talking about Kraglin.

#peter quill #yondu udonta #gamora #kraglin obfonteri #guardians of the galaxy #yondad #parent yondu #parent kraglin #yondu and peter