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geekeciel · 2 years

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So the main feedback I've had from this is people getting upset that I tagged this under Kuroshitsuji.

And I did that because... Well, this happened in the Kuro community. A community that I largely stepped away from almost 6 months ago, after being a fan for nearly 7 years.

While in that fandom, I met some of the most toxic people I've ever had the misfortune to befriend. Some of these people messed me up so badly, I'm still having nightmares about them 3 years on. Bullying, criticism, phoney friendships that ended in heartache... Antis, self-proclaimed geniuses who knew far more than me (apparently). Because a 33 year old, non-binary person, with a degree and nothing but good intentions towards their fellow man, must be the spawn of satan... Right?

I tried to continue loving the manga after I ditched them all... I really did. But the magic was gone for me.

But then... I also met some of my best friends whilst in this fandom. My best friend, who cosplayed as Grell with me, my adopted son, my twin Sebby. People like @plague-of-insomnia , @luci-on-the-moon and @gabedemon, who support my choice to step away from the fandom, and never made me regret my choice, and becoming more than fandom friends, but true friends.

Your argument might be, "well why don't you fcuk off and let us enjoy our mini hellscape, if it's so bad?"

And guess what, I did. But that doesn't mean I can't defend my friends publicly if I feel so inclined. And to point out that whilst you can try to ignore the toxic properties of the fan base for this quite frankly amazing manga, it's still there. Bubbling beneath the surface, attacking those who honestly just want to make content for something they enjoy and respect. Not even for other people, but if others enjoy it, then all the better.

I won't be retagging anything under Kuro anymore, so never ye fear, those still trying to save this community. But rather than sweep the fights and toxicity under the rug, maybe try to help those who don't get along in regards to some opinions, find some common ground...

... Before more people give up, and walk away.

I'm tired. To tired to argue anymore. So goodbye Kuroshitsuji. I've got some great friends to still talk to... But the fandom is done for me.

Think it's time to lay this old page to rest.

This has... It's killed me.

*end of screenshot*

Oooooh, what's this? A screenshot of a photograph... That could have easily have been a screenshot?

I'm howling! 😂

Do they still use a rotary phone? Use smoke signals to communicate with other anti-tribes? Ride a penny farthing?

Nevermind how their abusing several of my friends who are busting their asses to create amazing Kuroshitsuji content for us to enjoy. Or the fact they've been blatently racist towards them, and unbelievably close-minded and cruel.

Nah, I'm just gigging because if they saw my fellas PC, they'd try and burn him at the stake! 😂😂

#goodbye old friend #im tired #hellscape #Please don't comment on this #I won't be sticking about for long #Just long enough to set up a new account and start adding my friends there

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geekeciel · 2 years

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This has... It's killed me.

*end of screenshot*

Oooooh, what's this? A screenshot of a photograph... That could have easily have been a screenshot?

I'm howling! 😂

Do they still use a rotary phone? Use smoke signals to communicate with other anti-tribes? Ride a penny farthing?

Nah, I'm just gigging because if they saw my fellas PC, they'd try and burn him at the stake! 😂😂

#get a life #Some people have too much time on their hands #Pass the popcorn #This person is more entertain than Amber Heard

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geekeciel · 2 years

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I too ship Sebastian with basically everyone. Particularly Agni (or I just wanted Agni to live) and Bard (I like Bard). I don't know if in cannon Sebastian will end up with anyone because demon. If he is capable of those sort of feelings. I have the awful feeling Yana, is going to make us all hate Sebastian, so much that we are happy if he gets killed off at the end.

Yay for sebagni and sebard!

As much as I tease, I know sebard will never actually be canon, and that’s OK with me. Though I am super, super grateful for all the delicious food Yana has given sebard shippers in this arc, I know that demon Sebastian doesn’t really see humans as anything more than a curiosity, some of which can offer him some entertainment.

I’m not sure if Yana will make us hate Sebastian. He is the main character of the story, or at least that’s what she’s always insisted. Ofc you don’t need to like a protagonist, but I don’t see the story going in that direction. But it’s honestly still too soon to really tell.

I would like it if Sebastian died at the end. I think it would be narratively satisfying, because it could show how much he’s changed from the demon who first sat down to make the contract and tried to trick Ciel.

I personally would love if Sebastian died saving Ciel (or even the servants), because it means he’s found some value in human life that he’d never seen before. (I still feel Agni’s death deeply affected him in a way that surprised him, and we know that his actions on the campania when he almost got killed by UT weren’t simply a demon fulfilling his end of the contract.)

So while I do hope (as much as it will make me cry) that Sebastian dies at the end of the manga, I don’t think that his death will make us “happy.” I think it will be narratively satisfying, so in that sense we’ll be content with the ending, but I think it will be bittersweet.

Imagine if Sebastian died but Ciel didn’t? Ciel will be furious. Essentially that scene in book of murder but without the play acting. Because Ciel had hoped to cease to exist once he’s gotten his revenge, but if Sebastian dies saving him instead of eating his soul?

But we still have a few more years before we’ll get to that point. I think we’ll have a showdown with UT and RC first, and then with the mastermind. It’ll be interesting to see if Ut ends up joining forces with OC and Sebastian to go against them or not…

Thank you for the ask, anon!

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geekeciel · 2 years

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If anyone can renew my interest in Kuro, it's you @plague-of-insomnia! Cannot wait for this!!! 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

WIP Wednesday - Where Demons Hide Sneak Peek

Hey, all ! I’m here to bring you a sneak peek of the upcoming new chapter of Where Demons Hide, “Into the Fire”! (Yes I know it’s been 84 years…)

The chapter picks up where the last left off, more or less. Sebastian is in Bard’s custody, to be questioned about his recent behavior, and whether or not he’s betrayed Circus…. But before the boss arrives, Bard is hoping to get Sebastian to talk to spare him the boss’s wrath. Ofc, Sebastian is a stubborn bastard…

Enjoy! I hope to have this up this month, as soon as my health allows me to finish up the last little part!

Bard let out a relieved breath and checked his watch. They didn’t have long before Joker would arrive. “I’m sorry,” he whispered to Sebastian before tapping his injured side with his open palm.

A sharp intake of breath and Sebastian’s eyes shot open. They were glazed, searching, but once they landed on Bard they became cold as ice. “Fuck off,” he slurred.

“I’m trying to help you, Luce.”

Sebastian snorted. “Help me?” He laughed before gripping his injured side to minimize the movement of his ribs. “Fuck you.” He seemed far more alert.

“Luce—”

“You deaf? I said, ‘Fuck you!” Sebastian growled, rising to his feet in an instant, far faster than Bard would have imagined he could in his current state. “Traitorous son of a bitch!”

Like a wild animal, Sebastian launched himself toward Bard, but the injury affected the smoothness of his movements, enabling Bard to catch his wrist before he could land the punch just shy of Bard’s eye.

“Let me go, asshole,” Sebastian said, struggling, not bothering to attempt another hit as he seemed on the brink of passing out again, his free arm cradling his side. Normally, Sebastian would have used the punch as a feint for a high kick, but he clearly couldn’t manage such a feat right now.

“Joker will be here any minute, and he won’t be as nice as me. Tell me what you were doing and why you lied and he won’t need to get involved.”

Though Sebastian tried to pull out of Bard’s hold, between pain and the drugs, and without his normal tricks, he couldn’t compete with Bard’s strength.

Finally, Bard deposited Sebastian in the chair again.

Sebastian braced himself with one hand pressed to the seat, the other supporting his ribs. Sweat dotted his forehead.

“I know you didn’t betray us.”

“You don’t know shit.” Sebastian glared up at Bard, expression full of malice. Though Bard suspected that anger wasn’t directed at him. “And jackshit about the Green Dragon. So just shut—” Sebastian groaned. His head fell forward as he breathed raggedly. He didn’t say anything else.

Bard scoffed. Grabbed Sebastian’s chin to force him to meet his gaze. “Look me in the eyes and tell me you’re a traitor.”

Sebastian tried to tug free but Bard wouldn’t allow it. Instead he glanced away, furious.

“You can’t. Because you’re not the mole.”

“This has nothing to do with you. It’s between me and Lau.”

“Except it’s not. What about Ciel? You could have killed him tonight, and yet you asked me to make sure he and Finny were safe. You made Finny curse, for fucksake.”

Ron snickered, shutting up instantly as soon as Bard cast a glare ihs way that could have leveled a small building.

“All of Circus is involved now. Because of you. Don’t you want to take some fucking responsibility?”

“What do you think I was trying to fucking do?!”

I’m really looking forward to finally updating this story again for you all….! There’s some really great moments in store…

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geekeciel · 2 years

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Wow...

Been reading Tarot since I was like 12... Tonnes of Daddy Issues... Cat mom... Poly... Help! I can't work this out!

Jan 15: How Alike Luci-On-The-Moon Are You?

Time for some bingo! Find out how alike @luci-on-the-moon you are !

How to participate:

Step #1: Take this bingo card and stamp/mark every trait that you share with this month’s creator.

Step #2: Once you’re done, add it to a post (include a blank copy or link to this post), and tag some friends (and us @kuro-morale-events ) to share the fun! You can also reblog this post with your marked card if you wish!

[Rules] [FAQ]

[January Schedule]

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geekeciel · 2 years

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It just occurred to me... That outside of... I dunno... The Sims?... I've never known the feeing of achieving a promotion at work. And man... That kind of makes me sad.

#im not workplace material #I'm held back by my undiagnosed condition #And that hurts more #Because I'm actively seeking help #But no one wants to help me #Or hurry any kind of process along #And all I want is to achieve something #But can't because of my mental limitations

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geekeciel · 2 years

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Okay so, I know that this doesn't need to exist, and I'm okay with that. Just listen- in general, I wouldn't say that I'm a huge fan of the "hanahaki disease" trope, but just hear me out for a minute.

Sebastian Michaelis starts coughing up flower petals when he realizes that he has completely fallen for Agni, but surely Agni could never love him back. I mean, why would he? It's a miracle that he even speaks to Sebastian now that he knows that he's a demon, let alone that he still considers Sebastian his friend.

But Sebastian has begun coughing up little yellow petals- daffodils. A flower meant to symbolize rebirth and new beginnings? How ironic. But appropriate, Sebastian supposed, given the target of his affections.

Naturally, Sebastian ignored it at first. What kind of butler would they be if they could not even work through a life-threatening disease in the name of serving their master?

Well, of course, ignoring our problems does not make them disappear. On the contrary, the coughing only became more frequent, and more intense. Sebastian could feel the roots of the cursed plant clawing through his insides, slowly tearing him apart from the inside out.

Ciel is the first to notice something is wrong with Sebastian, because of course they are.

"You seem... Off. What's wrong with you?" They questioned.

"Rest assured, my lord, it is nothing for you to concern yourself with." Sebastian tried to reassure the child.

"Sebastian-" Ciel began, but before they could get another sentence out, another coughing fit overwhelmed Sebastian and he doubled over in pain, coughing into his gloved hand.

Ciel jumped from their chair, at Sebastian's side in an instant. Panicked, without the slightest idea of what to do, Ciel awkwardly put a hand on Sebastian's back.

"Flower petals? But that-... Hanahaki disease?" Ciel frowned, trying to hide their anxiety, but the change in their breathing patterns gave them away as realization dawned on them. "I didn't think that demons could fall ill with such a disease."

"Nor did I." Sebastian admitted, wiping the blood from his chin. "Demons do not possess the capability to love the way that humans do-"

"Do you forget that you have sworn never to lie to me, or do you truly still believe that, despite your ailment?" Ciel demanded, their frustration a thin veil to mask their genuine concern.

Sebastian was silent for a long moment. The young master was right, after all: if Sebastian were incapable of love, he would not be in this predicament.

"Could you truly die from this? This-.... This could kill you, if left untreated?" Ciel asked, their voice coming out small and frightened.

"Even in death, I am with you still." Sebastian promised. "That being said... It would seem that death is not entirely out of the question- as a demon, any sort of surgical procedure is out of the question. My true nature would be discovered, and everything we have worked for would be destroyed."

"You cannot die before we complete the contract! You promised- you promised to protect me, until the end!" Ciel lashed out, worry morphing into anger. "Can you not simply tell this person how you feel? That will fix this, won't it?"

"Only if they return my feelings, which they most certainly do not-" Sebastian began.

"Have you asked?" Ciel interrupted. Sebastian remained silent, which was answer enough for Ciel. "You would rather break our contract and abandon me than risk the possibility of being rejected!? You swore never to betray me- this -"

"My lord." It was Sebastian's turn to interrupt. He knelt so that he and Ciel were on the same level, and he placed a comforting hand on Ciel's shoulder. "I do not intend to abandon you-"

"But you haven't even asked." Ciel sniffled. "You could simply tell them, or- or we could explain the situation to Sullivan! Sebastian, if you let this end you without so much as a fight, I will never forgive you. You could at least try before giving up!"

"Quite right." Sebastian agreed after a moment of silence, moving to stand upright once more. "Never let it be said that I simply succumbed to this pathetic human illness, nor that I betrayed my master's trust."

With that, Sebastian left the room, promptly retreating to his own bedchambers- partially to fetch a new pair of gloves that were unsullied by his own blood, and partially to have some privacy as more yellow petals forced their way up his throat.

He did not wish for Agni to see him in such a state. He had already failed to protect Ciel from this awful sight- the very least that he could do was spare Agni.

Eventually, Sebastian pulled himself together and set out to find Agni. Sebastian's heart was racing, and the pain in his chest was getting worse by the second, but he pushed through it until he found Agni in the kitchen, having coached the other servants into helping him prepare for tonight's dinner.

Sebastian stood in the doorway for a few minutes, silent and seemingly going unnoticed by the others, who were busying themselves with their tasks. But Sebastian was only watching one of them- Agni.

By all accounts, their friendship made no sense. Agni was kind, encouraging and patient where Sebastian was cold, blunt, and quick to anger in most situations. Why would a human such as Agni willingly associate with a demon such as Sebastian?

And yet, when Sebastian had no choice but to show his true form in the name of protecting his young master, Agni did not run away. Agni knows what Sebastian is, what Sebastian has done, and yet, Agni still calls him friend.

Sebastian admires Agni. He always has- for his strength, his dedication, his passion... But it would seem that the more time Sebastian spends in Agni's presence, the more he comes to adore everything about the human. Agni is incredibly intelligent. He's quite observant, and thoughtful. He's kind, he truly cares for others- he cares for Sebastian, of all people.

As a demon, kindness should be little more than an annoyance to Sebastian. But when it comes to Agni, such qualities can be appreciated, even by the likes of a demon.

"Sebastian!" Agni's cheerful voice pulled Sebastian from his thoughts.

"Look, mister Sebastian, we're helping!" Finny called out excitedly.

"Mister Agni thought that it would be nice if we could take some of the work off your shoulders." Baldroy commented.

"So we decided to work together to take care of dinner, we did!" Mey-Rin chimed in from her station where she was polishing the silverware.

Sebastian was stunned, to say the least. Not only were the other servants actually working efficiently- an exceedingly rare sight in and of itself -but it was all... For him?

He looked to Agni, who offered only a small shrug of his shoulders as he continued his task.

"You seemed stressed; I wanted to help." He stated as if it were such a simple matter.

And there it was. That soft, ever present smile that might just be the thing that Sebastian loves most about Agni. Upon reflection, Sebastian has come to realize that he would do anything to see that smile. He would endure any pain and go to any lengths necessary, just to know that Agni was happy.

Sebastian was not used to these feelings. The only other person that Sebastian would willingly do anything for is the young master, but this is different. His feelings towards Ciel were more... Familial. Ciel is a child, and Sebastian is their caregiver. Agni is... Something else. Something unique.

"Mister Agni... Might I speak with you in private for a moment?" Sebastian requested.

"Of course!" Agni replied cheerfully.

With that, the Kahnsama left Finny, Baldo and Mey-Rin with specific instructions and then he made his exit to join Sebastian in the hallway. Together, the pair found an empty room and stepped inside.

Once they were alone and Agni was able to get a closer look at Sebastian, he frowned slightly, his concern evident.

"Are you quite well?" Agni asked. "You look pale."

"Oh, it... It's nothing to worry about." Sebastian said offhandedly.

"You know, there is no shame in taking a day off. I would be happy to oversee the others for the remainder of the day should you-" Agni began to offer, generous as ever.

"Agni." Sebastian interrupted gently. "I do not require the day off, but there is something that I wish to discuss with you."

"Oh, of course! What is it?" Agni asked curiously.

This was it. No more stalling. Sebastian simply had to be his usual, straightforward self and say a few simple words.

"I-..." Sebastian quickly found himself tongue-tied, struggling to verbally express the words that he was thinking. "Recently, I have felt that... I- well, we..."

"Sebastian," Agni interjected in that honey sweet tone of his. His left hand moved as though he were considering reaching out to Sebastian, but he hesitated. "I've never seen you so nervous- are you sure that you're well?"

"Yes. I-" Sebastian could feel it. That painfully sharp sensation of something growing in his chest, wrapping itself around his lungs and squeezing. He would need to hurry this conversation along if he wanted to protect Agni from witnessing the effects of this disease firsthand.

"This is not what I had intended." Sebastian stated regretfully as he tried to regain his composure. "But I no longer have the option of concealing it... I love you, Agni. I adore everything about you, and I-... I find myself thinking about you all the time. Try as I might, I cannot stop it. I wholly accept that you do not feel the same way, but given the circumstances, I-"

"What exactly have I done to give you the impression that I do not love you?" Agni asked, his head tilted slightly to the side as he looked down at Sebastian.

"You-... Why would you...?" Sebastian sputtered.

"Why would I not?" Agni countered.

Sebastian was in shock. How could Agni - kind, wonderful, oh so human Agni - possibly love someone like him?

Sebastian is pulled from his thoughts only by Agni taking a small step forward and reaching out to take Sebastian's hand.

"I love you too, Sebastian." Agni stated simply. And there was that smile again- that bright, beautiful smile and Sebastian loved so much.

Before Sebastian had the chance to react, Agni was kissing him. The pain in Sebastian's chest was slowly but surely fading, the suffocating pressure in his throat disappearing as Agni's lips touched his.

Sebastian was frozen in shock for a brief moment, but soon his eyes drifted closed and his hand came to rest on the small of Agni's back.

This was everything that Sebastian could have hoped for. Agni's lips were soft, and warm against his. Agni's strong hands made Sebastian feel safe. He made Sebastian feel cared for- wanted. And Agni loves him! Agni loves him.

When they finally parted, there was a brief moment when Agni looked down at Sebastian as though he were trying to memorize every detail of his expression, and then he smiled down at the demon.

"Your color has returned."

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