If Eddie revealed in the next few episodes that, all his life he's been drinking coffee but he doesn't really like it, and now he discovered tea and found his perfect drink, would you reconsider your stance on the superiority of gay lo-- err tea?
Oh man. Anon, I know you're just in here teasing, but you have accidentally stepped in an issue that makes me want to word vomit all over Tumblr.
As much as I'd like to engage with this at a surface level and stick to talking about tea vs. coffee, you've turned the discussion into something else.
I'm not upset with you, but this is gonna be a rollercoaster of a response. So bear with me.
People in fandom have a really bad habit of forgetting what the point of fanfiction and the like actually are. It's right there in the name. The word fiction.
As much as people like to think otherwise, fanfiction and headcanons and whatnot are not fact. They're ideas created by fans. None of them are canon. The words headcanon, fanon, etc. exist for a reason, and it's okay to explore something in fanfiction that has no real basis in canon.
Because the entire point of fanfiction - of creating things in a fandom - is to explore non-canon ideas. What would happen in this situation? What if we put these characters in a different universe where so-and-so owns a coffee shop? What if, what if, what if...? It's all about having fun with the characters, setting, etc.
One of the problems in this particular fandom is that people can't seem to differentiate between exploring ideas and applying those ideas to canon. And that's an issue.
And I'm going to use the issue you brought up to explain it.
The Gay!Eddie vs. Bi!Eddie discourse is important. Now, the issue isn't with people addressing this in fanfiction. If people want to write about Eddie being closeted this entire time and yadda yadda, more power to them. Let them explore that idea.
But talking about it as though it has a basis in canon and wishing for it to be canon can be problematic because then you dive headfirst into erasure. Eddie very much loved his wife. He not only loved his wife; he enjoyed having sex with her. A lot. He was not only with her for Chris. He was fucking her while hiding her from Chris entirely. That was for himself. What we see on-screen is him very much being into Shannon. Sneaking around just to get into bed with her. Dude is having a grand time. There are no actual signs that he didn't love her and no actual signs that he wasn't attracted to her. Just a lot of twisting and reading into things by fans.
So, using your own analogy, him discovering he likes tea does not mean he never liked coffee. It doesn't mean he still doesn't like coffee. It just means he's discovered something else that he enjoys.
And people will say "Oh, but Michael." But we have no idea what his and Athena's sex life was like. It's not like we saw him fucking Athena into incoherency and enjoying the hell out of it just for him to turn around and be like "Oh. I'm gay." It was implied that this was something he wrestled with for quite a while before being honest with her. We don't even know if he ever sought her out for sex. We don't know what he felt when having sex with her or how into it he was. Not to mention there are mental and physical aspects to sex. Mental and physical stimuli. And they're different.
Bi erasure is a big problem irl. The idea that "Oh, well you like so-and-so now or this gender or whatever means that you didn't really like/love that other person before". The writers going ahead with Gay!Eddie in canon would mean they would literally have to erase and invalidate his previous relationships. Particularly his relationship with Shannon. Because canonically, as I've already mentioned, the dude was really into his wife, and we literally saw it on-screen.
They'd have to go back and be like "Nah. That wasn't legit."
Nothing was erased on-screen for Michael. Like I said, we saw nothing of his relationship with Athena beyond the fact that they care for each other, and that didn't change.
But with Eddie, it would literally be a push to validate bi-erasure, and that's not okay. There is literally no reason for them to invalidate his previous relationships just to confirm that he's into men. None whatsoever. If they confirm he's into men, it should be "also" not "instead of". And pushing for "instead of" and trying to twist previous interactions he's had with Shannon to disprove the legitimacy of his past relationships with women in canon is erasure and is a problem.
If you want to explore it in fandom, feel free. But when you start twisting canon or saying certain things should have been done in canon, you're crossing a line that you might not even realize is there.
And it's not just with this issue.
90% of the discourse in this fandom would fucking vanish if people understood this more.
Even the anti-Maddie fics aren't an issue just because they exist. Technically, you can write what you want. Because yes, "Dont like; don't read" is a thing. People can just filter you out and move on.
But this fandom doesn't just write what they want and tag problematic content that can then be easily filtered. They then defend it and talk about it as though this is how it should have happened.
"Maddie should have been arrested." "Buck should have blah blah blah when she told him about Daniel."
People in this fandom want their bashing fics to be validated instead of just acknowledging that they're bashing fics. So in author's notes and Tumblr posts and the like, they'll say this should have happened and twist entire interactions to justify whatever problematic content they create.
And that's fucked up. Because no. None of that shit is what should have happened to Maddie. Victim-blaming is extremely dangerous and damaging.
But again, this fandom can't just be like "This is bashing and you won't like it, so stay away." They try to defend it to actual victims. They're spreading dangerous ideas because they want validation that they're right about a character or a situation to avoid having to acknowledge that they're creating content with problematic themes.
And that's not okay.
This fandom needs to learn how to explore something in fiction without:
Acting as though it is or should be canon.
Acting as though projections on a character are equal to analyses of a character. (Ex. Buck did not care about Taylor unlocking his phone even if you would have. Your boundaries are not the same as every other person on the planet's.)
Hiding behind "Don't like; don't read" as a blanket statement to spew hate and dangerous ideas. (Tag your hate and own that what you're writing is some kind of guilty pleasure fic instead of trying to promote and defend the idea as a good and legitimate one that applies to actual people.)
Anyway, I've gone wildly off-topic. This doesn't even touch on things like racism and the like. I could vent all day about fandom.
But Idek how much sense I'm making anymore, so lemme stop here. I'm literally rambling now.
Anyway, anon. I know you were just teasing, but you kinda stepped on an ant pile. Sorry. 😂😭
186 notes · View notes
I remember working as a retail intern at Ikea, helping people design their kitchen on the computers.
I especially remember the anti-Karen I helped once. After spending quite a bit of time helping her, she asked to see my manager. I had just started out a few weeks earlier, and let me tell you I got so scared hearing those words. I told her my manager wasn’t here but that if she had something to say, an older colleague was in charge of us interns. She went to him (I was basically dying inside), and told him that I had done tremendously good work, and that she wished he told that to the manager. It was so kind.
I also remember the young man who, upon learning I was an intern, asked me what stuff I still had trouble doing and asked for just that. We both knew he had no intention of buying that plain stone, super expensive custom-made tabletop. But he thought it would be a good occasion for me to practice with no pressure. He let me take all the time I needed to get it right. That was nice.
The old lady I helped twice, and who wanted to add some details and order her furniture in a month or so ; when I told her I wished her well because my internship would be over by then, she seriously considered rushing a little because she wanted to keep working with me. It was nice.
The three 30ish friends who worked at some factory for what I know to be low wages, that I helped for two hours with some complicated kitchen layout. They wanted to give me a tip, even though tips are far from common in France, let alone in Ikea. I refused because it was against the rules. They insisted I was barely paid and did great work. Still no. They gave me some papers back, and I found 10 euros inbetween the pages.
The lady who also wanted to give a tip -and let me know that I should check the third drawer in the exposition kitchen. I found 20 euros there.
The woman who thanked me for making her very shy teenage daughter laugh to tears while working on their kitchen plan.
Wherever those people are now, I hope they’re well. Be kind to retail workers. It may not be much to you, but I can assure you we do remember those things even seven years later. This is just so important.
19K notes · View notes
queer is literally a slur. like you’ve never been called that in a derogatory context like most lgbt people? you think your experiences escaping homophobia make it okay to justify the use of a homophobic slur?
queer is an identity.
it has also been used as a slur. there is no denying that. but using a word as a slur does not make it a slur. because before queer is a slur it is an identity. before it is derogatory it is a label. the use of queer as an identity is infinitely more important than the use of queer as a slur because the people who identify as queer are infinitely more important than the people who use queer as a slur.
say a lot of people decided they hated me. despised me. were disgusted by me to the point where my own name became a slur. would you tell me not to say it? would you tell me i could no longer be helena, and instead must come up with a euphemism for the name that belonged to me decades before it belonged in the mouths of bigots?
because that would make you an enabler.
you would tell me i can’t say my name anymore because some lowlife decided he could use it to insult me?
you would tell a gay man that he can’t be gay anymore because some teens in the early 2000’s started calling everything they didn’t like “gay”, and now he has to say “same sex oriented male identifying individual”?
does that enrage you? because it should. that’s exactly how you sound.
you are telling me i cannot use my label. you are telling me that when my great-uncle shouted until his face was red and he spat tobacco and the word queer at my feet, he was right. he was right to insult me, and i was wrong to say my name.
you are shitting on every single one of our predecessors. you are slandering every person who fought for their rights to exist and and be tolerated and be celebrated in their countries, every person who was lost to the aids epidemic, every person whose country criminalizes love and gender expression, every child whose parents abandoned them for straying from the norm, every person who was born and will die in the closet longing to be themselves. the queer umbrella is a safety net, a security blanket, the comfort of being known without being pressured to tell. it is near and dear and important as fuck to every member of the lgbt+ community and you are a blight upon the earth you walk.
how dare you speak upon my experiences with homophobia. how dare you disguise your own homophobia as activism. and how fucking dare you have the audacity to come to my blog and hide behind an anonymous ask and preach to me about how i’m oppressing myself. go look at the fucking wikipedia page for queer and read about how 1980s lgbt+ activists, especially lgbt+ people of color, fought to call themselves queer in a world that still hates peculiar things. and here you are forty years later spitting queer back at their feet.
i don’t give a fuck if people start using my name as a slur. my name is still helena. i will not change it. i chose it, i like it, and it belongs to me. it does not belong to bigots no matter how badly they want it. your discomfort with my identity is not my fucking problem.
i am helena. i am queer. die mad & go fuck yourself
27K notes · View notes