godleftmealone

[godleftmealone]

i now have an addiction to benzos

[godleftmealone]

i have a boyfriend now, but to say ive recovered is not true. i still struggle. he is thin. his is so much thinner. he eats so much less.

im back to 115 lbs again, because i didnt eat for 3 days because my girlfriend broke up with me. im exhausted and all i can do is get lower and lower. idk if im trying to prove something or what but im just going to keep going. i dont fucking care anymore.

[godleftmealone]

oughhh im pissed off with this bitch im not eating today haha

[godleftmealone]

im back to 115 lbs again, because i didnt eat for 3 days because my girlfriend broke up with me. im exhausted and all i can do is get lower and lower. idk if im trying to prove something or what but im just going to keep going. i dont fucking care anymore.

[godleftmealone]

she didnt.

[godleftmealone]

[godleftmealone]

i can’t get angry at you, so i just get angry at me 

[godleftmealone]

by: @desnos

[godleftmealone]

the funeral (1984) dir. juzo itami

[godleftmealone]

Got Very inspired to lose more and more.

Going to take a laxative right now in the hopes of getting rid of everything. i feel so disgusting in this body. i want to be 115 again so bad. i hate being this weight.

Hopefully i can fast for good amounts of time this week, aiming for like 20-21 hours everyday, ill see whats happens, and when ill see if i can walk and burn more cals too but i dunno. im really sick of this. i hate being this way.

i want to lose

i want to lose

i want to lose

i want to lose.

[godleftmealone]

got down to 117 recently and im probably back up to 120 again right now. im planning a liquid fast right now, as im very sick and dont feel like eating much.

150 accounted for the medicine that has apparently a ton of sugar in it, which is fine i will just ignore that.

probably 160 for lunch for a protein shake,

idk about dinner i might just skip.

[godleftmealone]

gained my little fuckin ass back up to 122 but guess what fuckers guess whos mentally ill :)

[godleftmealone]

LMFAOOOOOO AND ITS TRUEE I STILL DONT FEEL LIKE IT AHAHAHHAHA

im beginning to think i wont feel skinny even when im underweight

[godleftmealone]

i wont hit 114 tomorrow i know i wont . but god it would be nice. i purged all my food and ate 6 tortilla chips. all ive eaten today technically is 3 strawberries coated in sugar, tums, coffee, and those chips. but bet i absorbed alot more calories. idk.

[godleftmealone]

y r my friends trying to force me to eat

[godleftmealone]

im also like “do you think this is legitimately disgusting or are you trying to convince yourself it is to prevent yourself from eating it?”

[godleftmealone]

i think its funny that i dont think im very triggering irl but then i found out i sort of am snd now im like huh. thats wild.