godofsexdrugsandrocknroll

[godofsexdrugsandrocknroll]

Her heart would not, in fact, go on.

Fiona: *Standing on the edge of Atlas, in Jaune’s arms and enjoying the breeze and leaning back into his shoulder* Never let me go, Jaune.

Jaune: Why the fuck would you even say that? If I let you go you’d fall hundreds of feet to your immediate and bloody death. *Shakes head* Gods you’re a moron. You’re lucky I’m already in love with you.

#rwby #jaune arc #fiona thyme #sherwood knight #jaune x fiona #titanic #celine dion #best read to matt mulhollands recorder cover #this is what happens when you let a drunk type #what's crack-a-lackin' #shitpost

[godofsexdrugsandrocknroll]

Those Wintry Nights

Yang: Soooo, I’m guessing you wanna hear all about our thrilling heroics, eh Jaune?

Jaune: *Dazedly looking into the distance* Huh? Oh, that. No, I’m good.

Nora: *Dramatic gasp* Ren! Something’s wrong with Jaune! Take his temperature!

Ren: *Ignores*

Ruby: She does have a point, Ren. Jaune was really disappointed after all.

Weiss: *Playfully* Well he is basically a glorified babysitter.

Yang: It was pretty exciting. Me and Blake were awesome! *Clutches bicep*

Marrow: I was there. It’s true.

Yang: Sound less enthused, why don’t you? *Glares at Marrow*

Blake: *Trying to be the voice of reason* Come on guys, be fair. After dealing with a bunch of small children all day, y’know, when he’s not just directing traffic, Jaune’s probably just tired.

Jaune: *Cuts off Yang* Y-yeah, that’s it! I’m tired. *Scratches neck* Really tired actually.

Nora: *Extremely loud and annoying gasp* It is so the haircut!

Yang: Henh?

*Nora zips over to Jaune, grabs his collar*

Nora: *Cackling* No wonder you’re tired, fearless leader!

Weiss: *Hand goes over mouth* Oh my.

Ruby: That’s, ahehehehe *breaks off into giggling*

Marrow: Oh what!? How did-who would-how could he *growls* Viiine, why him!?

Vine: *Calmly sitting next to a bemused Harriet* Do I know him any better than you, Marrow?

Marrow: *Whines*

Jaune: Nora! No!

Blake: Or maybe he’s tired because he’s been hooking up with Cassie.

Jaune: Her name is--

Yang: Pfft, who needs names! You’ve been getting freaky with a MILF on your shift!

Oscar: *To Ren* It’s like this a lot, isn’t it?

Ren: *Suffering* Yes.

*Jaune has a very obvious, very dark hickey*

Yang: So, what was she like?

Ruby: *Stops giggling, appalled and blushing* Yang!

Nora: Ooh, did she ask you to add some sausage to her casserole!?

Weiss: *Embarrassed and blushing a bit, but mostly disgusted* Nora, that’s vile!

Marrow: I need you to teach me your ways, wise and venerated one!

Qrow: *Sighs* I need a drink. *Remembers he quit drinking* Dammit.

Blake: Is she really that good that she’s leaving you so tapped out? *Ignores Ruby’s sputtering*

Jaune: *Completely overwhelmed and embarrassed* G-guys, ch-chill! And I’m not answering any of your questions, they’re all--

Jaune: *Realizes his error*

*Dead fucking silence*

Nora: *Proud and sniffling* You dog.

Yang: Wait, all of them!? That's like *remembers what Nora told her* six women! And you’re a virgin!

Jaune: *Weakly* Was. I was a virgin. A few weeks ago.

Weiss: *Loses the battle and blushes, both hands cover her mouth now* Oh my.

Ruby: *To herself* I’m an adult, I can handle adult things, including a friend getting intimate with six older women, noIcan’tnowI’mimagingthingsaaaaaaahhhhh!!!!!

Marrow: *In total respect and awe, to Harriet and Vine* I know him. He’s my friend.

Blake: I-I. There are no words.

Yang: *Still can’t believe it* Six! How!?

Jaune: I’m a teenager. Looking at linoleum makes me want to have sex. They’re also really, really fucking hot. And just when I think I’m empty all of a sudden I learn new things. *Eyes glaze over* If anyone ever tells you that six mouths working together isn’t all it’s cracked up to be then clearly they’ve never been sucked or licked by six fucking mouths.

*Silence reigns once more*

Jaune: Welp. That did it. *Opens scroll, puts it to his ear and then winces* Y-yeah, you told me alright. Yes, you win. Yes that means I’ll do the thing. I promise. I-I’m an Arc! It’s embarrassing and kind of weird, but I did give you my word. So, uh, *blushes brightly* yeah, okay, figures. I’ll be over in five.

*Hangs up*

Jaune: Well, gotta go. *Goes quickly*

Marrow: *Into the shocked silence* I’ve never wanted to be somebody else more than I do right now.

#rwby #jaune arc #thirsty atlas moms #jaune x thirsty atlas moms #team rwby #team ornj #marrow amin #vine zeki #harriet bree #ace-ops #qrow branwen #buffy the vampire slayer quotes #xander harris #2020 introduced me to buffy and for that i am forever grateful #this is what happens when you let a drunk type #what's crack-a-lackin'

[godofsexdrugsandrocknroll]

Carrots

Velvet: *Chasing Jaune* GET BACK HERE YOU FUCKWIT!

Jaune: *Running away in mortal terror* AAAAAAHHHHH!!!! I’M SORRY I DIDN’T KNOW FORGIVE ME PLEASE I DON’T KNOW THE WAYS OF YOUR PEOPLE!

Ruby: *Nervously* Nnnnot that it’s any of my business, but what’s all that about?

Coco: *Watching with her chin in her palm, smirking* Casanova there bought a carrot.

Weiss: *Not wanting to be racist* Carrots are bigoted?

Fox: *Sighs*

Coco: Well from what I’ve pieced together everybody’s favorite wholesome twosome had a talk, at the end of that talk they wanted to try out some toys but the fashion disaster got detention, Vel told him to stop buy the store for a *laughs evilly in delight* ‘temporary’ toy and he bought a carrot.

Jaune: STOP, NO, YOU LOVE ME!

Velvet: IT’S IN OUR NATURE TO HURT THE ONES WE LOVE, GET BACK HERE YOU COWARD!

Coco: *Smiles at the sight which unnerves Ruby and makes Weiss uncomfortable* Apparently that was the wrong move.

Jaune: STAY AWAY FROM MY BUTTHOLE!

Velvet: OH BUT I’M SUPPOSED TO LOVE IT!?

Ruby: *Disturbed* Sometimes I regret listening to Yang and making new friends.

#rwby #jaune arc #velvet scarlatina #scarlet knight #jaune x velvet #ruby rose #weiss schnee #coco adel #fox alistair #this is what happens when you let a drunk type #what's crack-a-lackin' #shitpost

[godofsexdrugsandrocknroll]

Thighs and Thigh Gaps

Jaune: *Don’t stare at her thighs, don’t stare at her thighs, don’t stare at her thighs*

Winter: *Steps forward to lead them into Atlas Academy*

Jaune: *Defeated* Shit, you looked at her thighs.

*Dead silence*

Jaune: Oscar, buddy, I said that out loud, didn’t I?

Oscar: *Embarrassed* Ah, yeah. You did.

Weiss: *Jaw clenched, staring at Jaune unblinkingly*

Winter: *Mouth briefly drops open before closing* This way.

—————–   

Weiss: *Extremely irritated* Has he no decency!?

Yang: I don’t know how to answer that question without making you mad.

Weiss: *Is done with these degenerates*

—————–

Winter: F-furthermore, I’ll have you at least give my sister the barest modicum of respect! It’s o-o-only fair!

Jaune: *Happy, muffled noises*

Winter: *Gasps* Oh, good boy. Now don’t stop licking until you see the whites of my eyes! O-nly theennnnnnnn! O-only then may you enter my mouth. *Tries to be stern as her thighs quake, looking down at Jaune* If I wake up to anything less than feeling as if I’m to choke, y-you will be sorr-eeeeeee!!!!

—————–

Blake: I think you’re blowing this a little out of proportion, Weiss.

Weiss: *Fidgets* Perhaps. *Sighs* Yes, you’re right. Amongst other things, my sister is first and foremost a soldier and then a high class lady in her own right. *Laughs guiltily* Sorry. Hmm. I should probably apologize to Winter too, for doubting the strength of her character!

——————————————————————————– 

Regardless of whatever issues you might have with RWBY proper (my list goes: anything that isn’t related to the characters themselves, their interactions, the music and the fights), you have to admit that Rooster Teeth knew exactly what they were doing with Winter and her new design, specifically those pants.

She ain’t no Harriet or Elm, but goddamn.

#rwby #jaune arc #winter schnee #winter knight #jaune x winter #oscar pine #team rwby #this is what happens when you let a drunk type #what's crack-a-lackin'

[godofsexdrugsandrocknroll]

Jaune’s gonna get BRICC’d

*Just after being captured by the Ace-Ops, before they leave*

Jaune: *Struggles* Oh no.

Clover: Is there a problem, citizen?

Jaune: Not really. Just a realization that I’ve had this exact dream before. *Beat* Although usually I’m less clothed and it’s professor Goodwitch as the one doing the capturing.

Clover: *Jaw drops slightly as he briefly loses his composure*

Weiss: Jaune, now is not the time. Also, TMI.

Jaune: It’s the perfect time! We did good, we got arrested and now we’re all bondage bait.

Yang: He does have a point.

Nora: Agreed. Jaune! The professor - is she wearing a leather leotard or the same old?

Jaune: Oh, definitely her usual. Just with a lot more cleavage.

Nora: *Disappointed* Awww.

Yang: Okay, nice. No, wait, dammit, Weiss is right! Now’s not the time!

Jaune: *Ignores her, looks at the disturbed Clover and the equally off put Ace-Ops* So...any chance of making that dream come true?

Clover: *To Vine* Exactly how much trouble would we be in if we just cut them loose?

Vine: You’re asking me?

Clover: *Sigh* I thought so. Alright you, no more talking.

Weiss: Believe me, you’d have better luck gagging him.

Jaune: Don’t give them ideas!

~~Two minutes later~~

Jaune: *Gagged* MMMRRRMM!! GGRRRFFFUHHH! *Glares at Weiss* UURRRRRR! *Jaune stares wide eyed at a smirking Elm, who’d given his butt a squeeze*

Elm: *Winks*

*Doors slam*

Jaune: *Nods to Weiss thankfully* Rrrr-urrfffuur rrr uff fuhmmm muh, brurv uh!

Weiss: I don’t want to know.

Qrow: *Sighs* Dammit, now I’m curious. Whatever. Can’t be that important.

*Smug Jaune is smug*

#rwby #jaune arc #team rwby #team ornj #clover ebi #ace-ops #elm ederne #jaune x elm #rwby volume seven #this is what happens when you let a drunk type #what's crack-a-lackin' #shitpost

[godofsexdrugsandrocknroll]

Tumblr’s a weird place

Not in a bad way. The opposite, actually.

But prior to joining this site after a little over a month spent lurking as a guest, when it came to RWBY I shipped, in order: Dragonslayer, Winter Knight, Silent Knight, Scarlet Knight and Knightfall/Arcfall. I used to really like Strut and Stumble, but I always feel guilty about shipping Jaune, as a dude, with Coco (unless he’s genderbent).

And Professor Arc/Transcripts, but that’s hardly a surprise since I think basically everyone has a thing for Glynda and as such she can’t really be counted. XD

But in the week or so I’ve been on here I’ve been reading a lot of White Knight and I can honestly say it’s become one of my favorite ships in that time. I’ve always liked Weiss, she’s easily my favorite character in the show and I’ve definitely been digging the White Knight moments in the show and have been low key hoping the trend will continue and we might see a couple with some real chemistry hook up by whenever the show ends...but I never really sought it out to read and I definitely didn’t think I’d be writing it.

Or actually adding it to the list of “yeah, I’ll ship the fuck out of em.” But here I am with Dragonslayer, Winter Knight, White Knight, Silent Knight, Scarlet Knight and Knightfall.

Not all that interesting or entertaining to read, I’m sure, but threw me off my game.

So this isn’t all just me rambling about boring shit, the next couple posts should focus on:

Blackguard

Winter Knight (possibly several)

Scarlet Knight (possibly several)

Strut and Stumble (I feel like fem!Jaune and Coco are mad cute together)

(Possible) Rose Gold (if I can actually think of something that entertains at least myself and that’s currently a fat no)

Stung Knight

Sherwood Knight

Whatever you call Jaune and Ciel.

Plus the usual random assortment of everything I’ve been posting so far.

#rwby #rwby ships #stream of consciousness

[godofsexdrugsandrocknroll]

A Tragic Case of Relentless Stupidity

Jaune: *Glares at Yang and Blake giggling and feeding each other finger foods*

*Jaune runs up, flips the table over scattering food and making the two girls jump before running away - escaping through their 23rd floor window*

—————–

Ruby: Mmmmm. *Is kissed*

Oscar: *Pulls back from kiss, smiling gently*

Jaune: *Irritated*

Oscar: *Steps back* How about we take Jaune home, baby?

Jaune: *RKO outta nowhere’s Oscar*

Ruby: *Shrieks* What the heck, Jaune!?

Jaune: *Is too busy being a viper, hissing and staring at the unconscious Oscar’s body*

—————–

Glynda: *Laughs cheerfully into scroll* Oh Bart--

*Jaune angrily runs up and slaps her scroll to the ground, stomps it into pieces, glares at her and then proceeds to sprint out of the rebuilding Vale*

—————–

Nora: HA! You’re no match for Renny and me’s sick combos, fearless leader! *Button mashes as Ren smiles next to her*

Ren: *Rubs Nora’s back*

Jaune: *Triggered af, proceeds to fall back on years of video gaming and utterly destroys them both*

Nora: Awww. We’re dead, Renny.

Ren: I wouldn’t have it any other way than together, Nora. *Nora tears up*

*Glass shatters as Jaune chucks the console out the window and dives out of it like a professional swimmer*

—————– 

Weiss: *Excitedly* And then he actually proposed! Right there, with the sunset and the waves crashing on the beach and *tears up a bit* it was just so romantic of him.

Sun: Gotta give it to my boy, conquering the ocean for his girl is pretty cool.

Neptune: *Blushes*

*Jaune has had enough of the engagement party, flings glass of wine at Weiss whose mouth drops open as she drips with it and steals Sun’s glass from a stunned hand, does the same to Neptune*

Jaune: Good day! *Storms off*

—————–

Raven: *Uncomfortable, embarrassed* You actually mean that, don’t you?

Tai: *Very serious* Do you think I’d joke about something like this, Rae?

*Raven looks sad, but hopeful. Jaune, who was busy digging up a tree for Tai felt his blood boil and chucked a huge amount of dirt at the two of them*

Tai: *Yells and falls into his house*

Raven: *Spitting, yanking at the chest of her top before freezing* MY HAIR!!!

*Jaune runs*

—————–

Qrow: *Clapping Winter’s cheeks*

Winter: *Getting clapped and loving it*

Jaune: *Enters room, freezes*

Also Jaune: *Aims scroll at the two and takes a picture*

Qrow: What the fuck!? *Trying to hide his dick*

Winter: *Lets out a little scream and tries to pull pants up* N-no, please, delete it - aaahhhh, he’s leaving! *Sprints after him*

—————–

Maria: Ahh, I’ve been waiting all day for this.

*Happily eating pistachio ice cream cone*

Jaune: *Angrily smacks her cone to the sidewalk, splattering and shattering it* Get the fuck outta here with that bullshit!

—————– 

Jaune: *Walking into his apartment after several annoying days angrily* --with that shit, I ain’t even gonna play with that shit! If I can’t be happy, in love or getting laid then nobody can!

Jaune:

Jaune: *Looks at Neo stretched across his couch, laying there and sleeping peacefully beneath a big, comfy pink blanket with her hair mussed from sleep and looking adorable*

Jaune: *Realizes* Oh shit! I forgot I am happy, in love and am getting laid on a regular basis! *Slaps himself in the face* Fuck. Equality for all. Forgive me, adorable love of my life, but Mama Arc didn’t raise no bitch!

*Runs at Neo, who wakes up bleary eyed and to the sight of Jaune doing a front flip towards her tiny, sleepy frame*

—————– 

Jaune: And that’s how I wound up in the hospital. I senton’d my girlfriend, Neo roundhouse kicked me in the head and then put me through the kitchen table and I’m very sorry.

Neo: *Nods grumpily*

Everyone Jaune Fucked With: Good. *Walks off because they’re still pissed*

Jaune: *Sighs* I’m going to be kissing so much ass and not all of it’s gonna be yours, Neo.

Neo: *Pokes him in a broken rib*

Jaune: Ow! I deserved that. Oh. I deserve it. *Winces* Ohhhh. I’m on the couch, aren’t I?

Neo: *Holds a finger up*

Jaune: Awww man, a month? *Neo gives him an ‘are you serious right now?’ face* Yeah alright. Stupid brain, always getting me in trouble.

——————————————————————————– 

Hey, look who wrote Snowbird into one of these despite not liking Snowbird at all.

#rwby #jaune arc #yang xiao long #blake belladonna #bumblebee #yang x blake #ruby rose #oscar pine #rosegarden #ruby x oscar #glynda goodwitch #nora valkyrie #lie ren #renora #ren x nora #weiss schnee #neptune vasilias #iceberg #weiss x neptune #taiyang xiao long #raven branwen #taiyang x raven #qrow branwen #winter schnee #snowbird #qrow x winter #maria calavera #ice cream #maria calavera x ice cream #neopolitian (rwby)

[godofsexdrugsandrocknroll]

Streaming, Flaxen, Waxen; or Yang and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Jaune: *Storming in* Okay, it was kinda funny when you started hiding my scissors, Yang, but you gotta stop.

Yang: *Who had been eating her lunch, talking with Blake* Okay, what?

Jaune: My razors, Yang. Stop stealing them already.

Yang: *Genuinely baffled* Don’t know what’s crawled up your ass, Jaune, but I haven’t touched your razors. Or your scissors.

Jaune: Oh sure and I just happened to wanna grow my hair out.

*Sure enough Jaune’s blonde hair now reaches past his shoulders in a half up, half down style*

Blake: *Swirling a glass of water, eying Jaune* I think it looks nice.

Jaune: *High pitched* i tHinK iT loOkS nICe.

Yang: Hey, watch it. She’s being serious. It’s a good look--

Jaune: Fine, whatever, but the beard!? C’mon, stop playing games.

*Jaune also has a pale, almost metallic blonde beard that’s gotten pretty long - to the point where he needs a beard comb*

Yang: And I’m telling you *blows a raspberry, covers her mouth*

Jaune: *Opens mouth, closes it* Okay, not gonna lie. That kind of dismissal actually stings, Yang.

Blake: *Smiling behind her glass* Jaune. *Nods to the wall behind him*

Ruby: *Blushing*

Weiss: *Wide eyed*

Jaune: *Gears slowly start working*

Jaune: *Realization dawns, gasp overdramatically* IT WAS YOU TWO!

Yang: *Bursts out laughing*

Blake: *Giggles*

Jaune: *Gazing brokenly into the distance* Betrayed by my own girlfriends. Oh, I can totally understand why every singer ever has written about heartbreak now.

Weiss: *Eyes are still fidgeting, not looking  at him directly and her cheeks have pinked* Oh stop. I-it’s just...*awkward pause* well it was Ruby’s idea so she should explain it!

Ruby: *Blushes harder and ignores Yang’s cackling* What!? Weiss you traitor! *Weiss refuses to look at her, clasping her hands* Well, uh, Jaune, i-it’s...ah, I know! How about me, you and Weiss go to the bedroom and I’ll fuck Weiss’ face on your dick while you eat me out!

Weiss: *Immediately goes bright crimson, shrieks* RUBY ROSE!

Blake: *Silently shaking from laughter*

Yang: *Freezes, lurches forward a bit* Oh. Well this is a new kind of pain.

*Weiss is slapping at a squealing Ruby, face burning and trying to get past the taller girls defenses*

Ruby: *Defending herself and peeking at Jaune from between her arms* H-howza ‘bout it!? Ow, Weiss, I’m sorry! Ow!

Jaune: *Crosses arms, gives disappointed stare*

Ruby: ACK! Not that look! OW WEISS, MY EYE! *To Jaune, hand over her eye* I only like that look when it’s cause I couldn’t hold my breath long enough or cause I came before Weiss *mutters* again. *Weiss slaps her on the top of the head* Ow, my soft spot!

Weiss: *Her neck is now red too as she finally, grumpily, crosses her own arms* Your entire head’s a soft spot.

Blake: *Has her face on the table to hide her tearful eyes, her body shaking*

Yang: *Clutches her heart* What happened to my sweet little baby sister who wanted me to braid her hair and brought me cookies and her stuffie when I was sad?

Ruby: *Defeated* Fine. I hope you know just what you were turning down--

Yang: *Crisis intensifies*

Ruby: --but if you have to know, it’s c-cause, well, *quickly* you look super hot with long hair.

Yang: *Distressed* She can shatter my entire world without blinking an eye but that’s what’s got her bashful!?

Jaune: *Blinks* Uh, thanks?

Ruby: *Blushing, looks away bashfully* Really hot. *Nudges Weiss*

Weiss: *Won’t look him in the eye* No matter how you wear it. Right now? You kinda look like a viking and i-it’s...yummy. *Ruby nods agreeing* Ponytail?

Ruby: Somewhere between starving, sexy artist and casual Jaune, which is just as sexy if not more.

Weiss: And g-gods help either one of us if you let it down because I don’t think you understand how good you look with a breeze running through your hair, just l-looking over the horizon.

Ruby: Even if you’re just thinking about what you’re gonna eat later. Trust me. It works. *Eyes glaze over* It’s like someone took hot guy and heroic knight and wrapped them all into one and *whistles and Yang flinches at it*

Weiss: T-the point is it looks good. Very good.

Jaune: *Shocked, very flattered and blushing* Oh. I had no idea. And my beard?

Weiss: *Face wobbles and she squeals, putting her hands over her face*

Ruby: Uh, that’s Weiss for she likes the way it feels. *Carefully puts an arm up, eying her girlfriend cautiously* Especially when you’re going down on her or she parks it right on you.

Weiss: *Screams into her hands, kicks Ruby in the shin and turns away* R-Ruuuubyyyy!!!!!! These things are supposed to be private! B-between lovers!

Yang: *Looking harrowed* Finally someone speaking sense in this broken, twisted world.

Ruby: Please, Yang knows I do stuff. She’s fine.

Yang: *Gapes, swallows* I think I understand how Dad felt when I started dating now.

Ruby: *Shrugs at Jaune* And I kinda love that too. Plus, just...mmmm.

Jaune: *Rubs his neck, looking away* ‘Mmm’?

Weiss: *Muffled* Yes. Beards suit you. Y-you’re handsome no matter what, but the p-pervert’s not wrong to suggest that this new look is very attractive.

Jaune: *Genuinely bashful* Oh. Then I guess it’s not so bad. But why didn’t you just say something-- *Looks at Weiss hiding while Ruby won’t stop cutely fidgeting* --aaannnddd nevermind. Got it.

*They all awkwardly stand there for a few minutes before Jaune nods, looks to Yang*

Jaune: Sorry for accusing you guys, I just figured this had practical joke written all over it.

Yang: *Weakly* N-no problem, Jaune.

Ruby: *Nods in the background* Okay, you got us both all worked up again - OW! My butt! I’m gonna make you kiss it better, Wei-OW-OW-OW! I’m sorry! *Focuses on Jaune, rubbing her recently slapped bottom* Jaune. Bedroom.

Jaune: *Immediately distracted* Well I guess if I’m having that much of an effect *trails off before smirking* but I think I know two girls who are in clear need of spankings. Faces down and asses up, you naughty girls.

Ruby: *Whispers* Oh gods we gave him confidence. *Shivers, salutes* Yes sir! *Scampers off*

Weiss: *Staring wide eyed, blush acting back up and she swallows, speaks quietly* You’re not the boss of me.

Jaune: *Smirks, walking forward* Oh? *Chases after Weiss who shrieks, spins and runs after Ruby, following her with his head held surprisingly high*

Blake: *Breathing heavily, hiccuping while wiping away mirthful tears* Oh my goodness. Those three are something else.

Yang: *Thousand yard stare* I want to die and never see the light of day again.

Blake: Oh please.

Yang: My poor, innocent baby sister! *Trying not to cry as Blake rolls her eyes, grabbing Yang’s arm to lead her outside and away from the house*

#rwby #jaune arc #ruby rose #weiss schnee #war of the roses #jaune x weiss x ruby #jaune x ruby x weiss #bumblebee #yang xiao long #blake belladonna #this is what happens when you let a drunk type #what's crack-a-lackin'

[godofsexdrugsandrocknroll]

Jaune’s Father: “You are what you eat”

Glynda: *Impatient* And where might Mr. Arc be then, students? Does he think he’s exempt from my classes?

Pyrrha: *Panicked* No!

Weiss: *Also panicked but mostly because she doesn’t want to be lumped in with Jaune* Of course not! That dunce is--

Nora: *Stands, slams her fists into her desk* Obviously he’s doing extra credit and wants to make sure it’s up to par!

Ren: *Squints at Nora from the corner of his eyes, very quietly* And where’s that kind of quick thinking when we were being run out of another village?

Glynda: *Unimpressed* Miss Valkyrie, I haven’t assigned any extra credit.

Nora: *Stubbornly* Then that’s on you!

Glynda: *From unimpressed to baffled in 0.3 seconds* Wha-- How!?

Nora: *Speaking as if explaining to a toddler* Obviously Jaune thought there was extra credit! If you were more clear and concise with your explanations we wouldn’t be having this problem!

Weiss: *Moaning into her hands, seeing a mark on her permanent record*

Ruby: *Terrified of the outcome*

Yang: *Impressed*

Blake: *Looks to Ren who seems bored and a shocked Pyrrha*

Glynda: *Collects herself* Enough. If Jaune Arc isn’t here-- *Goes silent as the rest of the previously entranced class start giggling*

Jaune: Hey, sorry I’m late! *Weiss gasps*

Jaune: *Wearing a carbon copy of Glynda’s outfit*

Glynda: *Rapidly goes red* W-what in the world--

Jaune: *Nods resolutely* Pyrrha told me I should follow my Dad’s advice this morning with a problem I was having, but Dad also never gave me too much advice when it comes to girls! *Spreads arms* So I wore this to apologize about that whole thing the other night!

Glynda: *Red, horrified* Wha-no-ssshhh!! *Ignores murmuring* You-no-this isn’t... *Sees students staring, comes up with the perfect lie* What advice is that, Mr. Arc? What could t-this possibly do to make up for the fact that you broke the strap off my purse when serving detention?

Jaune: *Proudly* ‘You are what you eat!’ *Grins charmingly*

Pyrrha: *Broken inside and out* What.

*Weiss slumps into her seat in soul crushing defeat, Blake is blushing up a storm, Ruby’s thinking hard, Nora cackles and proceeds to thump her chest before giving Jaune a peace sign, Ren tries not to stare*

Yang: *Respectful awe* Holy shit vomit boy, nice!

Glynda: *Surrounded by purple aura, floor shatters as her semblance activates and she charges at Jaune, blushing and enraged*

Jaune: *Runs away screaming*

Jaune: *From down the hallway* How could you betray me like this, father!?

Ruby: *Realizes what Jaune meant, blushes and hides her face in her cloak* OH!

#rwby #glynda goodwitch #jaune arc #transcripts #professor arc #jaune x glynda #team rwby #team jnpr #rwby vol 2 #this is what happens when you let a drunk type #what's crack-a-lackin' #shitpost

[godofsexdrugsandrocknroll]

feelsbadman.jpg

Qrow: *Enters the room drinking from his flask*

Jaune: *Taps scroll*

Fuzzy Osbourne: ~Wine is fine but whiskey’s quicker, suicide is slow with liquor~

Qrow: *Chokes on whiskey and breaks down into a coughing fit* You little shit.

#rwby #jaune arc #qrow branwen #rwby vol 6 #as a fellow drunk i mean no offense but damn Qrow a thirsty boy #ozzy osbourne #suicide solution (song) #this is what happens when you let a drunk type #what's crack-a-lackin' #shitpost

[godofsexdrugsandrocknroll]

These Dreams

Nora: *Explaining to the entire table* Everybody was kung fu fighting--

Ren: Actually, it was sambo.

Nora: --and those motherfuckers were fast as lightning!

Ren: By ‘motherfuckers’ she means the elderly and they were actually quite slow, even for their advanced age.

Nora: *Gives Ren a glare but continues on* It was actually kinda frightening--

Ren: *Nonchalantly eating his salad* She laughed.

Nora: *Growing irritated* --because they fought with expert timing! *Dares Ren to do it with her eyes*

Ren: Their reaction time was actually awful and one of them reacted to the pain almost twenty seconds later.

Nora: *Outraged* Alright mister, whose story is it!? *Ren raises an eyebrow* Nope, you know what, that’s it! I’ve had it with you! You’re no longer invited to my birthday! *Ren shrugs and Nora storms off, stomping and Ren goes to toss his tray*

Blake: *Blinking* I’m more curious how Ren seems to know the exact content of Nora’s dreams.

Pyrrha: *Blowing on tea* Some questions are best left unanswered.

~~4 days later~~

Nora: *Hanging off of Ren’s back, sobbing* I take it baaaa-aaaack! You’re invited to my party Ren, you’re invited!

Ren: *Walking unabated, dragging Nora along and says nothing*

Nora: *Wails* I didn’t meeeaaan ii-hii-iit!!!

Weiss: *Genuinely curious* How do you two put up with that? There’s times where even my famed patience *Ruby gives a strained smile, Yang snorts which Weiss ignores* can’t quite handle all of Ruby and Ruby’s about a solid four in comparison to Nora’s eleven.

Pyrrha: *Calmly* Meditation and exercise.

Jaune: *Shrugs* You get used to it.

Nora: *Sobbing and whining obnoxiously* Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease!

#rwby #nora valkyrie #lie ren #renora #ren x nora #team jnpr #team rwby #kung fu fighter #carl douglas #this is what happens when you let a drunk type #what's crack-a-lackin' #shitpost

[godofsexdrugsandrocknroll]

A World His Own

Jaune: *Irritated* So, I’ve had this song stuck in my head.

Yang: *Not really paying attention* Hate it when that happens.

Jaune: But I can’t remember the name, so--

Ruby: Ooh, that’s the worst! How does it go?

Jaune: *Grins* Bah-bah-bah-bah-bah-bah-bah! Dah-dah-dah! Bah-bah-bah--

*RBY gape at Jaune in disbelief*

Ren: *Sighs*

Nora: *Seriously concentrating*

Jaune: --baah-baaah-bah-BAH!

Blake: I think I speak for everybody here when I say we have no--

Weiss: *Uncertain* Isn’t that ‘A Thousand Miles’?

Jaune: *Snaps his fingers* Yes! That’s it! Thanks hun! *Kisses Weiss’ cheek*

Weiss: *Pleased wife, drinks sparkling water in victory*

Jaune: *Singing as he leaves the room* ~and I need you! And I want to! Fuck you iiiiinnn yooouurrr asshole!~

Weiss: *Spittake, chasing after Jaune* Jaune Arc, those are not the lyrics!

#rwby #jaune arc #weiss schnee #white knight #jaune x weiss #team rwby #lie ren #nora valkyrie #this is what happens when you let a drunk type #what's crack-a-lackin' #shitpost

[godofsexdrugsandrocknroll]

Soul: Power Trip

Yang: *Stretches arms above head, draws classmates attention* So...anybody know why tall, blonde and goofy looks so chill up there?

Pyrrha: *Crosses arms* I'm...uncertain. Jaune was quite instrumental in our takedown of the Grimm at initiation and I have no doubt he'll impress us here as well, but...well perhaps--

Weiss: *Scoffs* Well if he 'flirts' *sarcastic airquotes* as well as he does fight then at least we won't have to wait long for that Winchester oaf to end this.

Pyrrha: *Glares but says nothing*

Ruby: I-I don't really wanna agree with Weiss on this one, but she might be right. Jaune doesn't even carry a weapon.

*Weiss throws up her hands and scowls*

Pyrrha: *Trying to defend Jaune* Even still, Jaune showed a good grasp of group tactics. *Uncertain* Maybe he fights differently than us?

Yang: *Immediately bored* Oh yay. So he's gonna talk his way to a win.

Blake: *Eyes on the stage as Glynda explains* There is more than one way to win a battle, Yang. And to be fair, he doesn't look like he's even remotely worried. *Eyes narrow* He almost looks bored. *To Nora and Ren* Did you two see how he fought in initiation?

Nora: *Grins* Nope! Way too busy crushing Grimm into paste and flyin' around!

Weiss: *Looking really grouchy* Lovely. How interesting--

Ren: *Quietly* He's fast.

Weiss: *Snaps at him* What?

Ren: Jaune. He was fast. Not as fast as Ruby but when the Deathstalker tried to get him with its stinger, Jaune only saw it about two seconds before it would have killed him and he dodged it and directed Pyrrha towards the stinger. *Looks back at the stage* The reflexes, reaction time and speed to pull that off is a bit unnerving, even for a future Huntsman, but it also suggests Jaune knows how to fight.

*The two teams are now quiet, even Weiss who is now actually looking at Jaune*

Cardin: *Sneers* Don't worry too much, Jauney boy. I can't make this painless but it'll definitely be quick. *RDL laughs nearby*

Jaune: *Says nothing, just stands there in his jeans and his bunny hoodie with a long sleeved orange shirt beneath it and white surgical gloves covering his hands, a white surgical mask over his face*

Glynda: --with that said, are there any questions from our combatants?

Jaune: *When Cardin remains silent* Is this an assessment of our skill or a display?

Glynda: *A bit taken aback at the blunt tone* Excuse me?

Jaune: *Sighs tiredly, puts dull blue eyes on Glynda* This fight.

Glynda: *Perturbed* Both, Mr. Arc. But we do not expect to see the full scope of your capabilities as a Huntsman in just one fight, if that's what you're asking.

Jaune: *Just looks back at Cardin, removes his right glove and holds it it in his other hand*

Glynda: If that is all *steps back* then begin!

Cardin: *Shoots forward* Don't worry, bunny boy, I'm sure next fight you'll get to show off all that 'skill' of yours!

*Despite being only a foot away and about to bring his mace down, Cardin isn't fast enough*

Jaune: *Inside only a second or two, Jaune crouches down and moves forward in the same instant and places two fingers on Cardin's neck*

Cardin: The fuck was tha--GGGKKKKKKKKKK!!!!! *Trails off into a scream as his flesh seems to suddenly grow large goosebumps, which rapidly become large bubbles*

*Shocked screams from the audience*

Cardin: *Explodes into a massive shower of gore, his upper half missing and leaving only his legs*

Glynda: *So shocked that she just stares in horror as the students start panicking*

Random Student: Oh gods, h-he killed him!

Random Student #2: Somebody call the headmaster, no the police!

Jaune: *Deeply irritated* Calm down. *People gape and Jaune sighs, leans forward and touches Cardin's blood*

*Instead of frantic screams of terror, disgust and anger there is now dead silence as Cardin brutally reforms and gasps, pales and falls on his ass, crabwalking backwards and beginning to hyperventilate while staring at Jaune*

Jaune: *Melancholy* Still so disgusting. *Puts on glove, to Glynda* That's my win. *Walks off*

Cardin: *Scampers closer to Glynda who's staring at her scroll and then at Cardin, Cardin is suddenly almost polite* T-the hell was that, Arc?

Jaune: *Shoulders slumped* My semblance. It's matter manipulation. Anything I touch I can disassemble or reassemble into anything I want. If I want to destroy, I destroy. If I want to create, I create. If I want to reshape matter into something else, the sky's the limit. *Stops before a pale Pyrrha, a solemn looking Ren with widened eyes and a fidgeting, nervous Nora* Or if I want to revive the dead, I revive the dead. *Shrugs* Family was attacked when I was young. I was hurt. Mother unlocked my aura just in time for me to see some White Fang asshole pulp her skull with his mace. When you're 6 years old and just watched your mother die, the only thing your soul wants is to save her.

*Blake shifts uneasily, looking away while Yang has an arm around a stunned, terrified Ruby's shoulders with a complicated look on her face and Weiss can't stop staring at the boy she dismissed, a hand over her mouth since she was close to vomiting*

Jaune: *Sighs again* Do whatever you want with that information. It makes no difference to me. I'm used to Overhaul.

Weiss: *Shakily* O-Overhaul?

Jaune: *Slouches into a seat* My semblance. It's called Overhaul.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

One final post for the day. I like the idea of different semblances and the impact they would have on a character. For those unaware, this is a quirk from My Hero Academia called Overhaul, used by a character of the same name.

I'm well aware it doesn't really work as a semblance since semblances don't really work the same way as quirks; but this is just for fun.

And in this case, I think if Jaune had Overhaul as his semblance, his behavior makes sense. This would be a Jaune who's seen his mother die at a young age, revived her and then since his semblance is tied to his soul and his emotions can effect that (Yang getting angry and activating Burn), he's probably accidentally killed a lot of people, possibly including his family (hence the gloves). So he's just kind of depressed, a bit done with everything, has never really faced any challenges and is a little bit adverse to the messes he makes (I can't imagine getting blood in your mouth being a pleasant experience).

He's no Overhaul, but he's not a fan of the germs. He's also flippant, cold and aloof not to mention big with the reflexes/RT/speed and would be hard to get along with, I think, even if he's the same lovable goof he is in canon beneath layers of trauma.

I could picture either either Nora or Ruby really being the one to help Jaune the most, although I think Yang could be a good enough of a friend after a time to do the same.

#rwby #jaune arc #team jnpr #team rwby #cardin winchester #glynda goodwitch #my hero academia #mha #overhaul #kai chisaki #au #this is what happens when you let a drunk type #what's crack-a-lackin' #shitpost

[godofsexdrugsandrocknroll]

IMO, it's gotta be Yang. Whatever amounts to classic rock in Remnant (the local equivalent of AC/DC, Van Halen, The Rolling Stones, Ozzy Osborne, Def Leppard, etc...) and my personal headcanon is that not only is she loud, but she's not very good either.

To the point where that was the origins of Ruby's headphones from the first episode - they're big, they block out noise and she no longer has to yell at Yang to stop, only for Yang to just think her sisters being a drag and sing louder.

I also can't help but imagine that she's the type to say "danger, what danger?" and dance in the shower.

Which rwby character sings in the shower?

[godofsexdrugsandrocknroll]

In spite of referencing R&B and rap in my last post, it was this song and this album that I listened to while typing.

Why’s that matter? It doesn’t. But goddamn do I miss Chris Cornell sometimes.

[godofsexdrugsandrocknroll]

Ruby giving her boyfriend Jaune the best lapdance and blowjob of his life

Ruby, Jaune decided, did not have the biggest tits out there. They were at best a modest B-cup, perky and easily dwarfed with one of his hands and capped with rosy pink nipples that were sized almost perfectly to each tear dropped shaped breast.

That being said, when they were presented to him as they were now, right before his face and continuously being pressed towards his mouth, pointed tips tracing a line across his lips or pulled back as Ruby arched away from him, strained against her lithely muscled form? It was a fresh reminder that a girl didn’t need an enormous pair to be the hottest thing in the world.

“Fuck, Ruby,” he managed to groan out as her hand was clasped on the back of his neck. Ruby herself with her head back, her face out of sight with her chest pushed forward but maddeningly out of reach. She was all but on his lap, her bare thighs over his own and her rear between his spread legs. Where Jaune wore only a pair of dark green boxer briefs, Ruby wore a pair of silk panties the color of wine, with a small black bow over her crotch.

Jaune quickly lost sight of the flat abdominals and the way the silk clung to her groin, pale skin meeting the expensive panties as she leaned forward, thighs leaving his as she stood a bit with her shoulders slowly rising and falling and her silver eyes locked on his face, his lips. Her pupils were blown with obvious lust and her red tipped inky black hair was a sexy disarray as her small mouth with her full lips curved into a smile and just as Jaune caught the faint smell of a flowery fragrance, Ruby’s smile turned to a smirk.

“Mmm, good boys get rewards, Jaune,” was all she muttered, nearly lost amongst the thumping bass of the R&B playlist Ruby chose for the occasion. Jaune leaned forward eagerly and almost groaned when Ruby moved. The desire to do so was lost however as Ruby’s left thigh brushed against his bare chest and before Jaune knew what was happening, the little reaper’s not-so-little ass was suddenly on his lap.

Jauned gaped at the sight, wine colored silk stretching across a behind that was perfectly shaped on Ruby’s slight but no less curvy hips. Where one of Jaune’s very few ex’s had a slight, almost boyish curve to her hips - like the curve of a tall, thin vase - Ruby’s looked hand drawn for a comic book heroine, starting at a petite waist and then blowing out into a small hourglass. Ruby’s ass might not have been huge (yet, he thought) it sat high and tight on firm, powerful thighs and more than anything else, jutted out to the point where even standing straight up it looked as if Ruby was purposely sticking it out.

Combined with her level of fitness and the pale booty looked carved from stone, full and each meaty cheek sharply defined. The only part of Ruby’s curves that Jaune couldn’t quite cover with a hand, the only part that would squish so delightfully between his fingers. Right now the silk rode up in the space between her cheeks, pale flesh peeking out as Ruby’s hips undulated forward, Ruby gazing back at him with a look that almost seemed entirely absent of complex thought before her hands left the armrests of the chair and she leaned forward, her ass now flush against his abs, Jaune moaning at the absolute heat of Ruby’s cunt that now was pressed to his hardened, trapped cock.

The next few minutes were pure torture, especially as the song went from the slower, bassier twenty year old hit to something bouncier. Ruby went from grounding her crotch into his, little moans escaping her and then sitting up straight, moving her hips in circles with his cock trapped between her cheeks and looking down at him as he looked back at her in obvious need. She bounced slightly as if riding him with his dick throbbing at every bit of contact.

She all but sat on him, his abs feeling the first spurt of hot precum as Ruby’s plump cheeks trapped him, the space between them a perfect channel to fit his prick and leaned over her shoulder, pressing her lips against his but pulling back and before he could even think to chase her lips with his own, covered his mouth and dominated the entire exchange before suddenly leaning so far forward that all Jaune could see was the faint shape of her spine and his girlfriends bottom, her panties pulled so far into her crack that there was more pale, unblemished ass meat than there was silk.

She twirled her hips slightly before pulled up, arching her back and rubbing along his length as Jaune hissed at the rough feeling of his briefs scraping against his sensitive, hot cockflesh and then stepped forward, leaving him wishing for it as Ruby ran the soft firmness of her behind up his abs, down slowly before stopping.

Popping her hips to a tighter, jumpier beat and lifting a single, small and bare foot and placing it on his knee before briefly sashaying back and forth, hands running up her body, clearly cupping breasts he could no longer see and smoothly moving down her stomach. Jaune could only stare at the groove line in her back, the way her silk panties rode up and how her hips shifted minutely before she was back on both feet and pushing his legs apart with a soft kick and sitting between them and squirming against his form, the mounds of meat that made up her butt gently pressed against a pair of fat, loaded balls and his cock, harder than he felt it ever had been before and making such little moves that Jaune felt every jolt of pleasure acutely.

Then the song shifted into something closer to rap than R&B, Ruby had smothered his groin in between her twin bubbles, stood so he could admire the sight briefly and making each cheek pop up, then down with her hands on her head and making equal display of her legs - it finally happened. Ruby’s hands left the top of her head, traveled down her body before reaching her panties and in a move that was unequivocally female, slipped her panties off right as she bent forward.

Her ass going from standing to bent over, two full and plump pale moons presented to Jaune, whose breath had hitched in his throat, barely aware of the slightest of jiggles as Ruby stepped out of her panties as all he could suddenly see was his girlfriends ass, her dark pink anus as her cheeks separated beneath his hands, Jaune groaning with desire as he played with the pliable cheeks, forcing them apart when the fine muscle of his girlfriend demanded they meet in the middle. It was too short as despite a throaty sound, Ruby turned around.

Before Jaune could do more than stare at the entirely bare mound above a small, glistening slit of irresistable pink, at how her thighs were full enough to whisper off of each other Ruby was suddenly on her knees and pulling his briefs down with her fingers for only a split second, before her pearly white teeth took the center of the elastic and Jaune stared, wide eyed and lifting his rear as Ruby removed them entirely before snapping her head to the side and tossing them away.

“H-holy shit, Rubes, what’s gotten into you Toooohhhooooo-FUCK!”

Jaune’s head snapped back as Ruby had simply locked eyes with him, wrapped his cock in her soft hand and then proceeded to, with a harsh GLURK! of a noise, swallow 6 and a half inches of cock in one swift movement.

“Shit, b-brothers, Ruby, that’s--” he gasped, the entirety of his dick inside his usually cute girlfriends hot, moist hole. There was nothing cute about Ruby now though, no, as far as Jaune was considered as she twisted her head back and forth with saliva rapidly coating his throbbing manhood, Ruby was smoking fucking hot. His hand went to her hair, which she batted away and almost in the same movement her head pulled back until only his fat crown was in her mouth, the more thick-than-long shaft glistening slightly.

Then down, the entire way until he felt the faint kiss of her lips on his groin, his sack. Ruby took him in at what looked like an easy, sedate pace even as Jaune wiggled in his seat, gasping again and muttering curses as he looked down at a pair of smug, silver eyes that burned their gaze onto him and then Jaune grunted, shouting again as Ruby had less than half of him in her mouth, but her small hand massaged the wet skin of his cock until Jaune moaned out and when he did, she was no longer suckling at his mushroomhead, the upper half of his shaft, but repeatedly pushing her tongue on his sensitive dick rather than leaving it still.

Jaune’s grip on the armrests grew tighter and for several seconds, he closed his eyes trying to stave off the inevitable deluge of jizz he was going to fire into the fiend sucking, licking and fondling at his manhood before the fiend herself moaned and he jerked, hard, in the chair and his eyes shot open. At this point Ruby only had the head of his meat in her mouth, but between her pursed lips teasing at the crown and the tongue that was writhing, twisting against his helmet polishing it with spit and her hand keeping a steady pace, he knew he wasn’t going to last.

Jaune had received blowjobs before. From the skinny ex back home who’d happily slapped her cheek with his dick, a dark brown eye staring up at him as he erupted, painting the left side of her somewhat longish face in pure white and covering her eye with a thick, gooey strand while her cheek was all but covered in a puddle of semen. To another girl from the village, who’d moved mechanically but still brought him off due to the intense look in her hazel eyes, his jizz painting her thighs, the hem of her jean shorts.

And the only other blowjob he’d ever received a few months before he and Ruby had become official, from a girl with auburn hair, freckles and brownish-orange eyes who’d pulled back and covered his tip with her palm and he’d oozed out of her palm, gasping at the sudden change in sensation.

Despite only dating for a while now, Ruby was better. Much better. And this blowjob in particular was beyond anything Jaune had ever imagined. Ruby more than content to constantly push the boundaries as she suddenly swallowed him whole and pulled back equally quick about nine times before pulling back, kissing his fat head and a small, reddish-pink tongue peaked out to lash spit over his slit and then kissed the sensitive spot with pursed lips several times in quick succession. Jaune groaned, his body rigid as his breathing grew faster.

“Look at me,” and Jaune did, the low and breathy tone demanding his attention as Ruby’s lips glided down one side of his shaft as her palm - all that was pressed against him - moved along the other side. Ruby’s lips met the end of his length.

“Dammit, Ruby, dammit!” She was kissing the base of the right side of his shaft, her tongue suddenly shooting out to lick the undercarriage, traveling along his balls and his testicle jolted and Ruby murmured something incomprehensible and Jaune couldn’t help it. He reached out and cupped the back of her head as his right nut was in her mouth to no complaint, his ball pulled from its twin in a lewd liplock and her tongue resting there, warm saliva staining the hairless skin.

If you’d asked him seven months ago if he’d ever shave his pubes, his balls, Jaune would have laughed. As Ruby ‘mmm’d’ around his ball, Jaune knew no matter what life threw at him from now on he was going to be soft and smooth down there for the rest of his life.

“PWUAH!!” Jaune almost whimpered as one of his sperm factories left Ruby’s mouth and then did whimper as she kissed it, twice, before kissing the underside of his shaft and her lips pressed the spit and pre-slicked head against his abs. Her palm covered his cockhead suddenly as her lips ghosted against him and with a sound that would’ve made him laugh any other time (‘AHMMM!’), felt his fingers clench slightly at Ruby’s short hair and his eyes rolled back as Ruby paid his remaining testicle attention, capturing it briefly and barely moved her tongue as she coated it.

“Oh my gods, yes, ye-es” was all he managed, voice cracking and all, as Ruby pressed her nose against his shaft as she kissed each ball, his sack and then opened her mouth slightly, lips not quite covering the bottom of the shaft but pulling her head up, her tongue leaving a line of spit before his cock was back in her mouth.

The hand on his balls cupped him, fondled him lightly as Ruby suddenly bobbed  forward far faster, to the point where Jaune saw less Ruby Rose his girlfriend and more Ruby Rose, a cock hungry vacuum that resembled more a porn star than anything else with her messy, but immaculate cocksucking. Jaune tried to hold it off, the past ten minutes of his life far exceeded anything that came before it, but Ruby’s tight seal around his dick and how she somehow managed to control her tongue at the same time, pressing tightly against his smooth shaft. She bobbed up and down, only occasionally making eye contact as she focused on pleasuring him and Jaune could feel it, his orgasm creeping up on him as he breathed quickly.

There was a slick popping noise and her hand, which had gradually increased in speed, was making nasty sounds as flesh-on-spit-soaked-flesh occurred in the form of a handjob, Ruby making sure to bring either side of her palm up and down his cockhead as she breathed.

“Fuck, your balls feel so full, baby,” she muttered and Jaune choked silently as her other palm caressed him. Her eyes were on him then even as her hand was bordering on a blur.

“So, so fucking full,” louder this time, “and I bet they really, really wanna shoot their big, yummy loads all over this slut’s pretty little face. Don’t--”

Jaune really didn’t hear what else Ruby said even if he could figure it was something insanely hot. The single best blowjob he’d ever received was one thing, but Ruby calling herself a slut? When she was normally just hot, hot sounds and maybe a word or two?

Between that, the eyes focused on him and how close his tip was to those cock worshiping lips in spite of the furious jacking off he was getting, as Ruby herself was talking? Jaune exploded, his breath whooshing out of him and he gasped even as he stared with unblinking eyes at a massive streak of white that went from Ruby’s upper lip to above her right eyebrow, a fat glob of jizz touching her hairline.

The second streaked across her nose and she reacted with wide eyes, a bit of the third splatting against her plump lower lip before Jaune let out a strangled sound as the heat of her wet mouth overtook him, his blood rushing in his ears and drowning out all other sound. He might’ve cursed as Ruby moved her tongue beneath his cock, but he couldn’t tell. His eyes closed to Ruby’s eyes on him, unwillingly, as he produced more cum than he ever had in his young life, unloading in his girlfriends mouth even as she just. Didn’t. Stop.

She swallowed and swallowed, then she coughed and Jaune felt relief, finally, as the massive load finally ended by painting her cheek, across her nose and then plopped heartily onto her right eye again, the silver orb closing as she coughed slightly.

Jaune sat for what felt like minutes then, dick remaining at half mast despite the intensity of his cumshot and Ruby smirked back up at him. She lost the hungry, slutty, the so-hot-she-had-to-be-a-demon-from-hell look somewhat because of it but there was something equally appealing about the almost impish look on her cum splattered features.

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” she replied and Jaune laughed. It was brief as he felt his heart rate finally lower itself and he was still breathing somewhat heavily, but it had the right effect. Ruby smirked again, looking proud of herself and then she hummed. And smooched his shiny cockhead, licked it and Jaune felt a spike of what could only be described as painful pleasure shoot up his dick, the process happening again as with an all too innocent sound (‘aaaa~aaaah!’) the flat of her tongue slipped upwards on his cockhead and then as her tongue disappeared back into her mouth, kissed him again.

“Fff-fugh, FUCK!”

“Oops. Too much?”

Jaune shuddered, noticing Ruby as she was finally sitting straight up before him. Jaune took in the sight, at how her tits sat perfectly on her chest and that Ruby was on her knees, which were close together, and likely sitting on her haunches.

He almost regretted not being able to see the amazing sight of Ruby’s perfectly round ass cheeks parked on her heels since her ass never failed to look good enough to eat in that position, before the he exhaled and sunk into his seat as exhaustion settled in. He had no idea what the deal was with Ruby today but the lapdance had not been the beginning of his raging boner, but the end. The fact that he didn’t blow his load while being teased with the ‘Rubooty’ as he usually referred to it as, was a miracle.

He almost laughed at himself. Trade a blowjob that mindblowing for a hot pose? He shook his head and noticed Ruby staring him in the eye, a heavy dollop of Arc spunk on her finger which she proceeded to lick up with an appreciative sound. His cock briefly twitched but he was tapped out.

“What’s gotten in to you today?”

“Weeell...” she trailed off suggestively, looking pointedly at his soft and sensitive dick, the still shiny but drying helmet. Then she shrugged. “That’s for me to know and you,” leaning forward, giving his cock a sniff before looking at him through her lashes, “to wonder all night about.”

“Rubes...”

“Pffff, c’mon vomit boy,” she offered teasingly, “it’s nothing big. Just...proving a point.”

An eyebrow rose. “Huh?”

Well that was smooth, Jaune thought to himself even as Ruby spoke.

“Proving a point, staking my claim, announcing my superiority over Mt. Arc itself, proving Ruby Rose is the best at everything, showing my boyfriend how much I love him, markingmyterritoryfromwaytoobustyMistralians, sucking my man a fat one, what’s it matter?”

Jaune blinked. “What was that last one?”

“Sucking you a fat one! It’s slang!” was her all too perky reply.

“No, the other one.”

“That I love you and the best way of showing that love was getting nasty on your man meat?”

“I-I...nevermind,” he muttered, not really caring. Of course he was curious, he was pretty certain he’d heard something about ‘marking’ and ‘aliens’ but she spoke too quickly and the world was still kind of fuzzy. Ruby smiled brightly then, stood up and Jaune wished he hadn’t been tormented with his too-sexy-for-her-own-good girlfriend’s body today, because her cum streaked face definitely deserved to twist in the same kind of pleasure his just did but teenage boy or not, Ruby had just sucked the life out of him and didn’t even seem to think about her own pleasure. Then was a giggle and Ruby was side eying him.

“Don’t worry about it, you can make me scream your name tomorrow.”

Then she leaned in close and Jaune focused on playful, happy, oddly satisfied and definitely a little bit smug silver eyes.

“Cause I’m pretty happy with you like this.”

“Gods your fucking hot as fuck when you’re confident.”

“Mmm, then let me tell you you’re gonna love the new me.”

“Love all of you, Rubes.”

Beneath the jizz, she blushed but her happy features remained.

“Get on the bed, I definitely earned quality sleepytime snuggles with that!”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Ma’am?”

“I can change--”

“Oh no. I like it. Bed now. Just gotta clean up your mess.”

“Uh...”

A snort. “This is a mess I like cleaning up, Jaune.”

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From here on out, if I write smut (which I’m undecided on; I am enjoying keeping them a bit shorter) I’m going to write it in story format. Short or long, doesn’t matter which. I’ll also likely experiment with different styles and overall themes.

Also, if you prefer a broader layout when you’re reading smut, I now have an AO3 (at the suggestion of idrownfishes0) under GodofSexDrugsandRocknRoll where I’m archiving anything with explicit content.

[godofsexdrugsandrocknroll]

Proof of Concept

Blake: *Rubbing Yang’s heavily pregnant belly* Not that I don’t appreciate the help, Weiss, but are you sure they’ll do the job and keep our baby boy safe?

Yang: *Nodding in concern* Yeah, I know what they’re advertised to do but do they actually do the job?

Weiss: *Resting chin in palm and blandly looks over at Jaune, who’s just entering the room*

Jaune: *Attempts to open babygate, struggles, jiggles the lock, visibly tries to open it before sighing, stepping over the gate instead and going into the kitchen*

Also Jaune: *Tries to open the snack cabinet but the stopper causes it to click into place, Jaune tugs on the door and after pinching his finger trying to unlock it, curses and growls*

Still Jaune: *Tries to open baby-proofed cookie jar, scratches it, pinches his fingers again, twists it and fails* Oh what fresh child-proof hell is this!?

Weiss: *Blandly looks at the stunned, disbelieving faces of her friends watching her husband* Yes Yang, they do. *Sips mojito as Jaune curses in the background*

#rwby #yang xiao long #blake belladonna #weiss schnee #jaune arc #bumblebee #yang x blake #white knight #jaune x weiss #two and a half men #jon cryer #this is what happens when you let a drunk type #what's crack-a-lackin' #shitpost