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godslush · 12 days
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I haven't had to use filters yet, but now that I'm trying to use the built-in system (because XKit and addons won't work on mobile), I really wish the filters would just... idk, remove the posts entirely and not leave behind a wall of "This post contains filtered content" blanks to make me feel actively excluded for Not Liking Something that other people can't stop talking about.
It also doesn't help that people don't tag all their content... moreover when reblog-heavy users don't tag their reblogs... and I'm too tired to go around asking people to tag things only for Tumblr to shame me for not liking what everyone else in my orbit likes, so I might just go back to my habit of unfollowing reblog-heavy blogs. Sorry.
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godslush · 14 days
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Work continues to, sadly, be my only real respite from feeling terrible most of the time, by being a distraction from my overwhelming feelings of complete failure.
At least my coworkers are okay with me being a bit of a weirdo.
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godslush · 28 days
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RE: Last reblog (preachy under cut; I was originally going to put this all in tags on the original post, but didn't want it to clog up the Note view)
I'm on team 'everyone is a sinner, including myself, and Jesus died for everyone who is willing to accept His sacrifice.'
Being a jerk in Jesus' name does more damage than good, and takes the Lord's name in vain.
So is being a gatekeeper who says 'that's not my lifestyle, therefore I have deemed it unforgivable and deserving of abuse and violent exclusion and needs to be shed before accepting Jesus, whereas my own sins are acceptable and forgiven~'
I trust Jesus will have some choice words for people who wave signs and spout bile to drive people they personally disagree with away from His love. It's the only thing that keeps me on the path I'm on. My Walk is my own, and I know I don't set the best example in terms of my quality of life reflecting blessings expected from a loving Lord, but as far as I am concerned, that is my own fault.
In the mean time, I simply aim to not spread hate and abuse and cruel prejudice in the Lord's name.
And... if hate and abuse and cruel prejudice do turn out to be the 'truth,' and if the people preaching it are right and have any power in Heaven...
...well, quite frankly, I'd rather go to Hell than spend an eternity with insufferable, hypocritical gasbags.
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(old gif of @voodooval, not me, just Mood)
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godslush · 28 days
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since the old version of this post was flagged for 'adult content'...
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reblog this post if your account is a trans safe space or owned by a trans person!
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along with that, reblog if your account is a trans non-binary spectrum safe space or owned by someone on the trans enby spectrum!
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godslush · 30 days
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This is going to sound contentious, but I’ve never enjoyed how social media has poisoned online friendships into being little more than “I’m spending all my time either complaining, or devouring an endless stream of the world’s consciousness across 5+ platforms, but I found this funny post that made me think of you for half a second, so I’m going to vomit it at your feet then go right back to gorging myself on a diet of 95% misery because that’s preferable to being in your presence.”
I know it’s just the RSD talking, and I’m guilty of it as well, but it’s more or less become an ubiquitous part of existing in an online space, and I hate it. Almost every seemingly-meaningful online friendship always seems to devolve into it; real communication being replaced by regurgitating material from feeds back and forth. Happy memories and dreams of a better future just get drowned in it, and it doesn’t make me want to be here. It makes me wish I could take a leaf out of [REDACTED]’s book and lobotomize my truly happy memories so I forget what it felt like to be happy because it’d make the pain of the present less pronounced by the contrast, and make fleeting moments of joy more meaningful before they're wiped from memory to stop goading me.
I get more life affirmation and positive reinforcement for existing and doing anything from my soul-crushing corporate retail job now than I do here online. My coworkers - who I only see at work and don’t connect with online because I don’t want to poison their image of me by seeing what a huge failure I am here - are the closest thing I have to reliable, supportive friends, who don't make promises that they have no intention of keeping just to shut me up, and always having an excuse ready to explain why they couldn't keep it. That’s really, really fucking sad.
It's fine. It's whatever. It's not like I haven't been in and out of the same ruts for 10+ years. The only difference is who I spend - or don't spend - the time in those ruts with. From the looks of it, nobody has the patience for it, and would rather leave me to crawl out of it myself with my own energy and assume I'd return to their side once I do. But if I do, I probably won't return. If people won't fight to keep me, I won't fight to stay. I only have enough energy to drag myself out of a rut, not crawl all the way back to the people who left me there in the first place.
This isn't the first time. But damn if it isn't getting closer and closer to being the last time... If only I could put into practice the things I learned from the consistent patterns of my experiences. Alas, the hopes that things will be better - or at least different in a slightly better-trending direction - will always win out, and lead to another round of disappointment when the pattern repeats.
I don't want to be alone. But in the end, that might be the safest option for me, and for anyone around me.
So if I don't come across as friendly, that's why.
I know more than anybody else that I am a difficult and high-maintenance person at my worst, and that I will always return to my worst; I'll only ever be a disappointment.
If you don't want to get your hands dirty digging me out of the dumpster, you're probably better off keeping your distance.
Don't give me hope if you can't follow through.
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godslush · 1 month
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Opt yourself out of AI scraping.
Like many sites, Tumblr is opting us in to AI scraping instead of opting us out by default, and packaging it like a kindness. We're not calories to consume. You can opt yourself out in blog settings (per blog you use).
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godslush · 1 month
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The rumor/news that Tumblr is readying to sell all its users' work to Midjourney is upsetting but I'm officially just so tired of worrying about it.
At this point it probably doesn't matter how they get their training data; I'm under the impression they pretty much already scraped everything that's been posted publicly anywhere... everything has already been smelted into unidentifiable soup for regurgitation... I really don't think there are any more preventative measures to take, especially not for a site like this.
It's not like my work is valuable or desirable, anyway, with luck any data trained on it will be poisoned to fail just like me, so I have no incentive to stop posting or go back and glaze/nightshade my stuff. It's too much effort for no real benefit, especially since reblogs wouldn't be affected by the updated files. Even locking down or deleting entire blogs wouldn't remove the reblogs.
The only thing would be to find a way to file a class-action suit against the Tumblr staff for making it impossible to opt out of exploitation this shitty, of this magnitude... but I doubt the rabble in this hellhole is capable of rallying to make a meaningful difference short of nuking the entire platform into digital dust.
I'm so tired. SO tired. I just want everything to end. I want all these greedy assholes to get their final, burning comeuppance. The money they've unfairly made at the expense of others will be the kindling for their stay in Hell and the more of it they've hoarded, the hotter it will be. That is the only comfort I have anymore.
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godslush · 1 month
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Some monstery globs, either drawn at work, or mostly at work
Includes a return to my oldest fandom friend, who I revisit every once in a while when I feel a bit lost
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godslush · 2 months
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Taking a break from online for a bit, because there are some things that drive me up a wall without fail, and it's time I lay those grievances before more capable hands than mine so that I may take my mind off it, and pray those hands be more merciful than I would be if I took it on myself to honestly address the pain I'm feeling
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godslush · 2 months
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For anyone interested, I'm tentatively setting up shop on BlueSky, though I'll need some time to gauge whether or not the interest will warrant the effort to start fom scratch.
Reposts will be off to start with, though I'm not particularly thrilled with the focus on "Feeds"; just because the algorithm is different doesn't mean those algorithms will be kind.
Re-settling on Tumblr will still be my focus for now, but I'm sending out roots to find the most appropriate soil for my needs, so I've also set up a Linktree in the meantime.
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godslush · 2 months
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Taxes done~ .:☆*:・ヽ( ´ヮ`)ノ *: ☆・゚
Kinda scuffed this year (got nearly no Federal return, but got a weirdly larger State return, but total is significantly less than the last two years), but at least I don't owe a chunk like in 2019.
No post-tax fun spendy time with this return, sadly, not with all my bills skyrocketing... _:(´ཀ`」 ∠):_
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godslush · 2 months
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In other less frustrating news, THANK YOU to everyone who's been leaving kind comments in reblog tags here! ヽ( ╥﹏╥)ノ
One of the benefits to TwiX over Tumblr is that it's easier to respond to comments like that in a threaded form without essentially duplicating the entire post each time, so I just want you all to know I appreciate every single one of them even if I can't do so individually!
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godslush · 2 months
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Photobucket: We've been a terrible image host with zero customer support for years and years and want you to pay us for our terrible service.
Me: Ok, I'm just going to DL all my stuff and leave my account to rot in free mode.
Photobucket: OH! But there IS no free mode anymore! Oh noooo! We're going to deactivate your account until you paaayyy usss~ :) :) :)
Me: Ok, I'm deleting my account.
Photobucket: ... Well... you're not logged in, so you can't-
Me: Yes I am. The button is still there. Delete my account.
Photobucket: ...A-are you sure?
Me: Yes.
Photobucket: Are you SURE sure?
Me: Yes.
Photobucket: Are you really really REALLY truly sure?
Me: YES.
Photobucket: ... We'll give you a free trial perio-
Me: JUST DELETE MY ACCOUNT.
Photobucket:
Photobucket:
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godslush · 2 months
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My brother gifted me this "tea" set, and while the lavender never made it (it's currently outside to see if real sun will make those blasted seeds germinate), the other two have been fun.
Forgot to water them for a short time at one point (I didn't realize they'd suck it up so quick when prior to that I was genuinely worried I was overwatering them) and nearly caused them to die back, but some pruning and transferring them into a larger pot has done wonders.
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godslush · 2 months
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as much fun as we have developing our ocs in bn and with the story dear god could you vouch for the amount of suffering i had to go through with some of the fucking games in the collection lol
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yeah
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godslush · 2 months
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hel p
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godslush · 2 months
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I noticed at work that I could get better lines out of my fountain pen if I turned it upside-down, but I did that on the colored scratch paper, which is pretty hefty and smooth. It doesn't work in my main sketch book; it still bleeds a lot there. So it must be a combination of this ink cartridge batch being runnier/more watery than usual, and that it interacts poorly with this very thin and porous paper.
This paper also doesn't like my Tombows... and I don't have the right colors. 🫠
Either way, listening to a lot of Mahjong Soul music made me wanna draw her.
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