goldenvicious

[goldenvicious]

My favourite thing about Netflix mobile is that every so often it glitches and—

[goldenvicious]

the real problem with necromancy is all of these necromancers are pursuing immortality instead of dying so all the good necromancer names are taken for like centuries at a time. the other day i met a guy who called himself skull james

[goldenvicious]

In the town where I grew up, there was a large statue in one of the parks, of a famous historical white colonizer. I'm not going to say who specifically, suffice it to say that it was someone who wasn't worth memorializing for their deeds. And as you can imagine, this statue was a frequent target of vandalism, with paint or toilet paper or eggs on multiple occasions. Now, the local council was generally pretty lax when it came to repairing potholes or other public damage in the town, but every time, 24 hours after this particular statue was hit, the same person would always appear in a Hi-Vis vest, hat, mask and sunglasses, carrying a bucket of water, and wash it clean. They would do it as quickly as possible, but always made sure the face and the name carved at the bottom were generously scrubbed. This only encouraged people to do it again, and so it became a vicious cycle.

Within a year, the statue had sustained so much damage that it was unrecognizable and the lettering unreadable, so eventually the council came and took it down. Also apparently, the person in the Hi-Vis vest didn't even work for the council. They were supposedly just some 'good samaritan' who cleaned it, often before the council even discovered it needed cleaning, so they just let them do it and ignored the problem. They didn't bother putting the statue up again.

Much later, we found out that the anonymous 'samaritan' had been deliberately washing the statue with a bucket of saltwater, which had dramatically corroded it, causing irreversible accumulative damage far worse than spray paint ever would have done. It's even theorized that they were also often the one spray-painting it, just so that they had an excuse to come back after a day to wash it.

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“If I had time travel I’d kill Hitler” “If I had time travel I’d stop my favourite politician getting assassinated” you’re all thinking way too small. If I had time travel I’d stop Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin from dying on the moon due to Soviet sabotage, kicking off the Great Nuclear War and devastating half of the planet.

[goldenvicious]

I had a nap dream that I made a PSA style comic of Stan getting onto the screen and sitting down in a chair backwards and saying "Hey. It's me, Stan Pines. Does your stomach ever hurt? Then you might be pregnant!"

And a little spiked comic style speech bubble saying "ya might be pregnant" took up the whole screen and that was the end

Of the PSA

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I accidentally follow people so much on this site that i dont know who half the people on my dash are

[goldenvicious]

if you told vin diesel fast and the furious you were gay he'd be like "Some people like driving stick…some people like driving automatic…what matters is you cross the finish line.." and then he'd rev up a dodge challenger and drive through a building and kill 16 people

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we've gone beyond driving a dead horse into the ground we're partaking in some kind of ritual meme sacrifice and i am all for it. mass-scale meme purge. the blood raining down on our faces and we're dancing and laughing

[goldenvicious]

We should kill whoever decided that wisp should be 75% accurate in early gens

[goldenvicious]

[goldenvicious]

[names my sons cain and abel] alright. get to it

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hey don’t cry. trees grow out of the ground.

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ppl in the age of cell phones: fucking up their necks

ppl in the age of books: fucking up their necks

ppl in the age of textile art: fucking up their necks

ppl in the age of picking lice: fucking up their necks

ppl in the age of cooking: fucking up their necks

[goldenvicious]

if you are lucky you will love someone and their hair will thin and their breasts will sag and you will kiss them everywhere over and over again

[goldenvicious]

losing my mind at this

[goldenvicious]

guy sitting in front of me in class was vandalizing wikipedia and i kept reverting his edits as soon as he made them and he couldn't figure out why it was happening

[goldenvicious]

idk if anyone has made an isopod one so i decided to create this.

FUCKING IPOD.