gorgeyhunz

[gorgeyhunz]

I'm a certified grandma's girl.

Trigger warning: Self harm

Her demise has taken a toll on my mental health to the point that i went back into being suicidal again but this time i'm already harming myself. I purposely starve myself, i cut, and i punch my legs till both of it is bruised. My random sleeping schedule got worse. I'm literally asleep by day and awake and crying at night.

My grandma passed away for about a month ago and every night i would cry my eyes out because i miss her so much. I can't accept the fact that she's gone too soon. I wouldn't be able to celebrate Christmas with her, welcome the new year, and celebrate my 18th birthday that i've been dreaming of this coming january.

Last night was the third time i self harmed. I was so exhausted from crying and before i slept i said "God, Can i just please talk to her? Just once?"

I ended up dreaming of my grandma. I was able to asked her everything i wanted to, but the only thing that i can remember by now was this.

We were standing, I was hugging her whilst my face is burried on her hips as i cry.

Me: Why did it take you so long to visit me in my dream?

Her: I'm sorry that it took so long, I went to a lot of places and i did a lot of things.

Me: but how are you? Are you happy?

Her: Yes so don't worry about me, stop crying already because i am happy.

I guess starting today i will be able to accept it easier

#grief #selfharm #depression #anxiety #loss #grandmother #dreams #acceptance #denial #sleep #death

[gorgeyhunz]

I'm so annoyed that i wasted my time on twitter when i can use tumblr.

less toxicity, less stress

[gorgeyhunz]

This why i love me little jeed😂

little mix react to killing eve | celeb gogglebox bonus:

[gorgeyhunz]