gothams-gone-rouge

[gothams-gone-rouge]

Dick: hey Tim! How was patrol?

Tim, sodden, dripping diseased Gotham harbor water, missing a gauntlet, with a crazed look and 3 active warrants out for his arrest: It was lowkey a bit of a vibe check

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officer: are these your children sir?

damian, forcefully raided a petco to liberate the animals: hello father

jason, released said animals on unsuspecting tourists for fun: sup old man

bruce: …nope

officer: oh, then them?

steph duke and cass, covered in equal parts confetti, dirt, and blood, waving:

bruce: oh no, im not touching that one with a ten foot pole

officer: …so it has to be one of them?

alfred, got into an altercation with someone at home goods over the last crockpot: i have no regrets master bruce

tim, hacked the cia to put himself higher than jason on their wanted list and accidentally implicated himself in an unrelated crime: i’m more disappointed in myself, really

bruce: …i’ve never met these people before

assorted incarcerated batkids: *various outraged clamor*

officer: then who are you here to collect?

bruce, pointing to a different cell, sighing: that one’s mine

clark, was pulled over for following all the gotham road laws (incredibly suspicious behavior): hi bruce!!!

[gothams-gone-rouge]

I like to imagine that when Bruce is really sick or horribly injured and doesn't want to show weakness, he just... sends Dick in his batsuit to Justice League meetings.

And nobody notices

And a few years later Dick finally ends up in the league as Nightwing and someone brings up how Batman never seems to get sick or hurt, even when they know he's taken big hits, he's always at the meetings.

And Dick just bursts out laughing and falls out of a chair.

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Ok that’s actually really cute

This bat is going to get me fired oh gods oh fuck

#only in gotham #gothamite #only in gotham rp #dc rp #onlyingotham

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Well first off: you work for Mr. Wayne?!?! Or did you sneak in or somth? Also how do you accidentally steal a bat?

This bat is going to get me fired oh gods oh fuck

#only in gotham #gothamite #only in gotham rp #onlyingotham #batman

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I have several questions and I’m trying to gauge how badly I want answers

This bat is going to get me fired oh gods oh fuck

#only in gotham #gothamite #only in gotham rp #onlyingotham

[gothams-gone-rouge]

NEW CAP MARVEL THOUGHT: Billy Batson actually being a very well-known figure in the superhero community, just like as himself. he's a little boy w his own radio show who reports on superhero stuff & has a lot of surprisingly smart and insightful things to say so of course ppl know & like him and listen to his show.

it's a pretty well known fact that he and the other radio staff are buds w Captain Marvel so not uncommon for people to get in touch with Billy when they want a message passed to Cap & consequently build up a rapport. & they all like Billy! he's a great kid. :) literally no-one questions any of this.

[gothams-gone-rouge]

Starting to think a cooler headcanon for Clark’s upbringing might just be that the entire town of Smallville collectively decided to just go with it and accept that Martha and John's kid has superpowers, but we don't talk about it.

Someone's tractor gets stuck and nothing can get it out? "Be a dear and run down to the Kents, would you? Ask for Clark?"

"Why Clark, we need a machine--"

"Run along now."

Or if he kicks too hard and the football vanishes into the upper stratosphere, no it didn't, we all collectively saw it land over there *vague hand movements*

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Red Hood au where Jason has amnesia (thanks to being beaten upside the head before being blown up), but still wants to do his insane revenge plan against Batman. He has no idea why he's beefing with this random ass dude. He just knows he has unresolved daddy issues and pointed it at the most dramatic looking bitch on the East Coast

[gothams-gone-rouge]

I want the Joker killed. But not by any of the Batfam. It's gotta be just some guy with a shotgun.

Bruce thinks it was Jason. Jason is convinced it was Tim. Dick and Damian are both absolutely positive it was Alfred.

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Riddler: Riddle me this boy-

Riddler: Batman?

Batman!Dick: Yes?

Riddler: Who the fuck is this?

Batman!Dick: This is Robin.

Riddler: Obviously. But he’s different. He’s all scowly. Where’s the fun one, who likes my riddles?

Batman!Dick: He’s taking some PTO. Can we get on with this?

Riddler: No.

Batman!Dick: What? Why not!

Riddler: Well I would but it wouldn’t be very fair. See the riddles I had for tonight were kind of specific to a couple of past games me and the other one had done.

Batman!Dick: What you never did that for me when I was Robin-

Riddler: Yes well it just wasn’t as fun with you.

Batman!Dick: So what, are you going to just let the hostages go?

Riddler: Well I guess. I’ll have to come up with something different, we can reschedule.

Batman!Dick: So what, do we just take you back to Arkham or-

Riddler: *shrugs* That’s fine. I’ll just table this one for when he gets back.

[gothams-gone-rouge]

The Tell-Tale Heart Narrated by Edward Nygma

In the same boat as The Raven, I am forced to also repost this. Again, in time for Hallowe'en, because why not?

Enjoy.

[gothams-gone-rouge]

Bruce gets accosted by reporters and one of them asks "Is it true that you're in competition with Superman to win Batman's affections?" and he is so taken aback bc what the fuck are they even talking about? There are a million questions going through his head such as, since when was superman into batman? since when was this public knowledge? wtf did bruce say to imply that he was into batman as well? And he doesn't have an answer to any of these questions so he just smiles and says, "No, I'm not. The word competition implies that Superman has a chance, which he does not."

why did he say that? Bruce doesn't know, it just felt like that's how Bruce Wayne would've responded bc what's more Brucie than fighting with Superman for Batman's heart? anyway, upon reflection, this was maybe not the best response in terms of long term consequences, but he's committed to the bit now.

a week after all this goes down, news reporter Clark Kent is caught saying that Batman deserves better than Bruce Wayne, so is a third suitor putting his hat in the ring to win over batman?

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"My favourite superhero is Green Lantern!"

"My favourite is the Flash!"

"Mine is Robin!"

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Joker: Just one bad day.

Tim: That's ridiculous

Joker: That's all it tak-

Tim: A whole day???

Joker: What?

Dick: what?

...

...

..

Joker: The day thing is supposed to be really short, like its- its supposed to surprise you, your supposed to say Just One Day!!?? 'o' surely not!

Jason: Wha, how did you say that?

Tim: Dude, I'd only need like 5 minutes

Dick: FIVE??

Joker: W- I-

Tim: They don't even have to be bad

Joker: I dont-

Tim: Like, 5 really annoying minutes

Dick: Tim-

Tim: I'd kill all of you.

[gothams-gone-rouge]

AU where Jason, Cass and Damian meet in the League and cause so much chaos that a burnt out Ra's just dropped them with a note

"Two of them are yours the third one is for free"

And he rolls with it

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Normal Batfamily Au

Instead of Batman's Cape that holds all his children. Bruce Wayne is known for wearing really long coats where there are multiple pictures of his kids hiding in it