gothhousehusband

[gothhousehusband]

Imagine a vampire sucked your blood and they didn't even pop a boner. not even half hard. fully flaccid the entire time they sucked your blood. I'd be so humiliated.

[gothhousehusband]

“but i don’t like how blood tastes :(” well. grow up. get well soon. i don’t know what else to say to you

[gothhousehusband]

hey can i see your hands for one sec? i promise ill be super normal about them. i promise i wont kiss them and lick and put the fingers in my mouth im so normal about hands i promise-

[gothhousehusband]

Hearing him say "i'm gonna cum" with a breathy voice and hearing small shaky breaths along with that is so hot to me

[gothhousehusband]

they should invent a desire to be wanted that doesn't feel grotesque and perverse

[gothhousehusband]

Tobacco propaganda worked so well on me, I think smoking is so hot. This is easily one of the top 7 most cringe things I find sexy, just totally manufactured by some dipshit Marlboro ad exec in a dipshit lab somewhere. My only saving grace is that abs do nothing for me

#me me me me me #i know its bad for you and i know its a little gross but my god #everytime i see my partner smoke i think its hot #and when they pull me in to light my cigarette for me?? #i fold instantly

[gothhousehusband]

Rubbing my face on your bulge like a little kitty asking for attention. ♡

[gothhousehusband]

Can you describe your dick for us? 🤤

Louder than Gods revolver and twice as shiny

[gothhousehusband]

Anyways I'm pretty sure the meaning of life is straddling someone's lap, smiling against their mouth as you kiss them, with their hands sliding under the back of your shirt

[gothhousehusband]

Paintings from the ‘Peripety’ series by Jen Mazza

[gothhousehusband]

We can't jerk off or ibuprofen out way out of this one fellas

[gothhousehusband]

sucking dick is cool and all but what about the build up? make me suck your bulge through your boxers, rub my face in it, make me lick until my spit is soaking your underwear, make me so desperate to actually have your cock in my mouth that when I finally get to suck on you, I’m ravenous and shaking with excitement

[gothhousehusband]

i hope your new year is full of homoerotic neck biting and bloodthirsty lovers

[gothhousehusband]

hey uh I hate to tell you this but your golden retriever boyfriend comes from a pet store and not a reputable breeder

[gothhousehusband]

the best thing a man can do is have big brown eyes. the second best thing a man can do is be bisexual

#my love <333 #he's so beautiful i want to cry

[gothhousehusband]

there's nothing more swagless to me than people who try to make vampires less horny. where's your fucking honor. "a vampire wouldn't care about being sexy while drinking your blood because they don't need to you're just a food source to them" WELL MAYBE THEY WANT TO. MAYBE SOME OF US ARE HOT ENOUGH THAT THEY'D BE WILLING TO TRY. EVER THINK ABOUT THAT HUH.

[gothhousehusband]

:)

#cute