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gothsuptrees · 6 months
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Some nice goth type whose name I can't locate submitted this photo with the comment "It was Scotland circa 1988. Goth had only been a thing for a few years and the idea a Goth clothing shop would ever exist seemed unbelievable. On the other hand you could easily get your hands on strong lager under the age of 18. To think that 30 years later the next generations of Goth would continue this tree climbing tradition warms my bleak heart to a barely tepid."
I don't know why I can't locate the name of the submitter. It's probably due to the annals? addles? of time, the alcohol addling of my brain, and whatever else you can addle. If you can addle something, I've addled it. Addle is my middle name. It's not but it would be cool if someone misspelled 'Adele' and there was an 'Addle' out there somewhere.
We have to take everything about this post with a certain amount of addled trust. Old mate says he was a goth in the '80s and has blamed the light coloured pants on lack of goth shops around at the time. I mean, he didn't actually say that but it was implied, either that or he was bragging about his underage drinking exploits. Even so, I like the vintage-ness of this photo, the acrobatic, gravity defying nature of the pose with bonus tinnie (can of beer) and the fact that it's clearly night time. The tinnie is obscuring any potential smile. Let's give him the benefit of the doubt here. It's been a long time since I've posted and there's been a whole lot of addling going on.
4.8 out of 5 - I am going to change my middle name to 'Addle'
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gothsuptrees · 1 year
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Emily submitted this photo with the comment "World Goth day picnic 2013". She also submitted it with the comment “World goth day picnic 2016-2017?  An oldy but a goody.”
Whenever it was, I think we can agree that it was a good year and likely a very enjoyable picnic. Goths mostly don’t admit that something was a good time until 2-3 years after the event happened. Frankly, it's not appropriate to admit it. That is unless it was the first time they went out to a gig or club after lockdowns and then it was all “THIS IS THE BEST NIGHT OF MY LIFE, I LOVE YOUSE ALL!” (obviously, these are Australian goths) and then immediately reinstated the 2-3 year wait for good-time acknowledgement as is right and proper.
Our goth here has chosen to observe World Goth Day up a tree.  I appreciate their warm and practical yet stylish outfit for the Northern hemisphere May weather.  Bonus points for platform boots of a practical height, patterned trousers, and most excellent goth Dame Edna cat-eye sunglasses.  There’s no smiling and they’re a good height up the tree.  They’re out in the daylight but it appears to be an overcast day, so reduced chance of UV exposure. 
4.4 out of 5 – Some sad old goths are so goth that they will never admit that they’ve ever had a good time (or that they’re goths). They'll probably also whinge about how mainstream goth is becoming these days.
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gothsuptrees · 2 years
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it-stimefortea submitted this photo with the comment "Wedding reception cottage core goth. The bride and groom chose a local beach (not very goth friendly,) but I made the most of it and found a tree to climb. Embarrassing photos of the tree scaling process available upon request."
The wedding reception themed goth up a tree is one of my favourite goths up a tree. Admittedly, they are often out in the daylight and there's usually some alcohol induced mirth involved, but wedding guests generally have a lot of time waiting for the couple of the moment to do *something* (having photos, exhausted crying, cleaning up the vomit in the hallway of your husband-to-be's Aunt who pre-loaded and then passed out within 30 mins of the vows) and can use that productively, up a tree.
Obviously, my own wedding involved a lot of goths up trees and even I didn't abide by my own rules. WITNESS MY ULTIMATE SHAME (I'm the one who looks like she's drunkenly and mysteriously promoting cheap cider up a tree in a fancy frock - the whole thing is very ungoth - 0 out of 5).
Moving on, our goth here is not smiling has done an excellent job of positioning herself up a tree with appropriately welcoming limbs. I appreciate her no-nonsense expression and pose. She looks as if she's meant to be there. Points deducted for daylight and beachy location but she's in the shade. Bonus points for the sock/sandal situation and wedding appropriate cottage-core goth dress.
4.4 out of 5 - Use your time waiting around at weddings wisely and spend it up a tree (and then take a photo of it and send it to me).
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gothsuptrees · 2 years
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crookedxhill submitted this photo with the comment “This was taken by my friend Fae at Laurel Hill Cemetery in Philadelphia.”
Here we have another attempt by a submitter to conceal the fact that the goth is clearly out on a sunny day by making the photo greyscale.  I appreciate that they went to all that effort to select a filter, but I’m afraid points must be deducted.  I will not be tricked, swindled, cheated!  I have eyes and a lot of greyscale-filter induced fury, apparently.
Our goth is a good height up their cemetery tree and they’re not smiling. They’re wearing a fetching outfit and accessories. I enjoy the footwear-highlighting pose so the boots are displayed to their full advantage. I have boot envy. Bonus points for the cemetery and excellent boots.
4.5 out of 5 - Someone on twitter said that this blog had gone fallow. Goths appreciate being in fallow. It helps us to save our energy to be annoyed about important things like greyscale filters. 
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gothsuptrees · 2 years
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Submitted by an anonymous person "my friend took this of me at the goth club aftersesh and i feel it really represents what kinda weekend that was".
This photo was clearly submitted in joyous, drunken, pre-pandemic times and gives us a lovely reminder of how care-free and willing to hang from trees after a night at da klub we used to be (yes, I'm speaking as a sad, old, sentimental goth who lives in a small, 1 goth nightclub town at the bottom of the world who hasn't been out to a club in months *le sigh*).
This goth is out in the morning light and has cleverly hidden their face so we have no clue if smiling is involved or not. They don't appear to be very high up the tree but I am impressed with the green haze of hair that blends nicely with the foliage. I also applaud their ability to keep their tights miraculously snag-free after a hard night and an up-tree situation. That takes skill (or a particularly robust pair of tights).
4.4 out of 5 - The bigger the hair the less chance you have of being marked down for smiling.
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gothsuptrees · 2 years
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Clint Catalyst submitted this photo with the comment "Photo by Sasha Sheldon, 2008 -- submitted because I just stumbled upon this image in a folder, remembered your site, and lawled."
Well, well, well. Another jewel from the time before this blog. In case any of you baby goffs/goth adjacent types need any further proof that goths were posing arboreally long before I started posting about it nearly 10 (?!) years ago, here's a glorious example.
Here we have a very fine goth beautifully lit in a tree. He's not smiling and it's night time. He's certainly very close to a tree but I'm not confident he's actually up it, so I have to deduct points for height. Bonus points for the pre-blog photo, excellent lighting, and strong belt buckle approach.
4.6 out of 5 – Calling all current sad old goths (SOGs - I identify as a SOG) and former goths - send me your pre-2011 photos of your gothed-up self up a tree if you please. I promise I will take good care of it.
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gothsuptrees · 2 years
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Kary submitted this photo with the comment "This is me - Kary, up in a tree. I found out something the hard way that day while attempting to climb into that tree; I found out that goth winklepickers/goth pikes are the absolute worst (the absolute most slippery) type of shoes to climb in, ha ha ha ha!"
Here we have, for the very first time*, a goth wedged up a tree. She's not particularly high up there and she's out in daylight but there's no smiling. Bonus points for difficulty, composure despite obvious discomfort, rarity of the pose/situation and hair volume. Good to know that winklepickers/pikes are not suitable for tree climbing. Perhaps getting some non-slip sole grips installed would assist future winklepicker wearing goths in their up-tree exploits.
4.6 out of 5 - Visit your local cobbler.
* For the first time that I can remember. Given that I've been doing this for 10 years and I have drunk a *lot* of alcohol in that time, it's possible that there have been others that I don't remember.
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gothsuptrees · 3 years
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Catherine Noire submitted this photo with no comment.
What we have here is a goth up a tree in a forest clutching a scythe. I assume they're just taking a breather from a hard day's work harvesting souls or perhaps their successful and darkly elegant lawn mowing business (which would take longer than your standard landscaper but would be much more calming to witness).
Our goth is relatively high up what appears to be a fallen tree in a forest. She's not smiling but is out in daylight. Bonus points for the glorious shroud situation and scythe. I hope this activity went through some sort of risk assessment process before the photo was taken.
4.8 out of 5 - Imagine the amount of sunscreen a goth gardening business would go through.
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gothsuptrees · 3 years
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articulateandintricate submitted this photo with the comment “Might not be quite goth enough but my friends and I are on a high ropes course, so we’re very UP those trees! Took place at Tree Surfing in Devon :)”
Right, well, that was unexpected - here we have some goffs tree surfing.  I didn’t know that tree surfing was a thing.  I live in Australia where goths abide by the strict definition of surfing - I.E. water is involved.  We don’t even surf the Internet - we float over it with derision.  To be fair, we have a lot of water in Australia, a lot of surf, and a lot to deride to the point that even goths will partake in being thrown around by water if it’s absolutely mandatory for our survival in summer. 
Here we have 3 goths up trees. I say ‘trees’ because one is clearly being supported by multiple trees on a bridge. They’re looking pretty tough for goths, which I like to see, but they are out in the sunlight. I’m not keen on the white sneakers and blue jeans situation, so points deducted there. Bonus points for quantity of goths, the tree height and intimidating vibe.
4 out of 5 - Tree surfing, eh?  What next?  Shrubbery boarding?  Bush gliding? Grass diving?
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gothsuptrees · 3 years
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Bonnie Ramone submitted this photo with the comment “I recently visited New Orleans for the first time. Excited to climb a tree in their legendary cemeteries, I was disappointed to have to visit during the day, and found shade where I could. I know I’m not actively carrying chartreuse, but I can verify it was in my belly at the time. This was in St. Louis Cemetery #2. I hope my entry is worthy. “
I like the juxtaposition of a goth in a palm in broad daylight in a cemetery, although I really shouldn’t.  Our goth is not exactly ‘up’ the tree but they are nearly camouflaged by the draped fronds of a suitably dramatic tree. There’s no doubt that they’re in a cemetery and they’re not smiling and have excellent make-up and hair.  I’m heartened to hear they have a belly full of chartreuse.  I commend it, in fact, given that I find it difficult to stomach the stuff after that one time I drank 35 beers at a university orientation night and then had a shot of chartreuse and proceeded to airbrush one of the courtyard bushes in fetching shades of beer with a slight hint of chartreuse.  Glorious.
4 out of 5 -  If you’re going to insist on going out in the daylight, make sure you seek shade in the most dramatic tree you can find.
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gothsuptrees · 3 years
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Lizabeth Hanson submitted this photo with the comment "My kids were up for some family fun tree photos. This was the best of all. I’m considering making this our Christmas card, though I think several of my family members may not understand our joy."*
When I look at this photo, I think family fun. I also think about how they're out in the daylight and they're not very high up their tree. However, they do get bonus points for the quantity of goths up the tree and the angle of the photo through the screen of bare branches, which warms the cockles of my icy heart. The apathy level of the goth on the right is admirable, the goth on the left looks downright offended, and the middle goth looks gloriously regal.
I am slightly disheartened by the white-accented sneaker situation but this photo was possibly taken when the all black sneaker was not widely available.* What terrifically sad times for sportsgoths they were.
4.8 out of 5 - This could easily be converted to a 5 if they did use this photo for their family Christmas card.
*OK, so, this is quite an old submission. I discovered some old submissions in my email *cough*, so get ready for more posts, fiends.
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gothsuptrees · 3 years
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Cassiopeia submitted this photo with the comment “We did this for Tim.”
What a fine thing to do for Tim.  All I’ve ever done for Tim is help him move house a couple of times and drink some of his full sized bottle of vodka that he brought with him on a 2 day hike, which wasn’t really doing him a favour but I like to think I was lightening his load for the walk home. 
This is a glorious example of a goth up a tree at night time in a cemetery.  The only downside is the slight sign of mirth on the goth’s face but it was for Tim, so I’m going to allow it.  Bonus points for the height up the tree, the shadows, and the proximity of the tree to the headstones.  I also appreciate the sinister looking hands and the clear display of boot.  Yes, thank you.
5 out of 5 - I hope Tim appreciates all we do for him.
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gothsuptrees · 3 years
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Robert Schmalenberg submitted this photo with the comment "i submit myself in this case, a warm spring day somewhere in Grunewald - Berlin , went to see the grave of Nico (from Velvet Underground)".
Choosing a dead, fallen, moss-covered tree to be upon for your submission is admittedly pretty goth but doesn't get this goth many points for height. He admits that it's a warm spring day which sounds altogether too pleasant and not at all appropriate, although that weather does allow for a bit of pasty white rib-revealing shirt action minus the goosebumps. He's out in the day light but he's not smiling and he's stomping his way across that tree in a picturesque forest to get to the graveyard where Nico is buried, so points for dedication. Bonus points also given for the way his jacket is slung across his shoulder and looks a bit like a cape.
4.3 out of 5 - Bonus points always given for anything vaguely resembling a cape.
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gothsuptrees · 3 years
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Yvette De Immortalia submitted this photo with the comment “Just trying on outfits for shoots and jumped up my tree :3″
Our submitter knows that every goth needs their own tree for the purposes of trying on outfits.  It’s clear that being up a tree displays your ensemble to its fullest potential and will elicit a more realistic and appreciative response from the ground-dwellers below (or just, you know, birds and/or bats with a keen eye for style).  
Our goth is a medium height up her tree but there’s a considerable amount of sunlight on the skin.  The photo is a bit out of focus, which is disappointing, but I put that down to the camera focusing on the tree rather than the goth (rude).  Bonus points for the New Rocks and sweet corset/bra/skirt situation.   She’s not smiling but she doesn’t look sad about it - more confident in her outfit and tree choices.
4.5 out of 5 - Birds with an unexpectedly keen eye for gothic style (in my experience): hoary headed grebe, turbo chook, superb fairywren, pigeon.
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gothsuptrees · 3 years
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Dani submitted this photo with the comment “A bunch of Aussie goths up a tree. My only regret is smiling (but of course I didn’t think of submitting until after the photo was taken.) Also we were in a cemetery!”
I understand, fellow Australian gofficks. It’s difficult to contain your mirth when you’re posing up tree in a group. I’m upset that you didn’t think of submitting until after the photo was taken though. It makes me feel excluded and abandoned but look that goes with my outfit so I’ll wallow in it for a bit and move on.
Our group of five up-trees are at varying heights in the tree and have one supporting cast member on the ground.  They’re out in daylight, which is upsetting, but they’re mostly in the shade.   The ratio of goths smiling to goths with appropriately hostile facial expressions (or just not looking at the camera at all) is acceptable.  They are bedecked in outfits suitable for the occasion. The supporting cast member is making up for her lack of up-treeness by providing a dramatic pose.  We’re supposed to believe that they’re in a cemetery despite a lack of clear evidence.  Sure.
4.7 out of 5 - 5 goths in 1 cemetery tree.
Note: This photo was submitted pre-2020 but I am generally a slack mole and don’t post very often.  I will be attempting to post my backlog of submissions this year as this thing is coming up for its 10 year anniversary in December.  Yikes. 
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gothsuptrees · 3 years
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Alva submitted this photo with the comment “Hi dendrophilics! I have been following your site for a long time and always wanted to get an on top of a Tree God photo. It would be an honor for me to be judged.  (PS: my tshirt is printed with the Esoteric Order of Dagon emblem. ^(;,,;)^  )
From the beautiful but also dystopian Spain, dark greetings and best wishes, comrades!”
This is a glorious submission from Alva of Spain (that I received pre-2020).  I like how she assumes we’re all dendrophiliacs.  Thanks, Alva, but we’re not ALL dendros. That lot over there are *shifty glance to the right* but I’m just an appreciator of trees adorned with people of the gothic persuasion with an occasional desire to hug a tree in a purely platonic fashion *cough*.  
Our goth is a medium height up her tree. She’s out in daylight and with a bit of sun on her face *gasp* but her pose and expression are appropriately dramatic and she most definitely isn’t smiling. Her outfit is practical and stylish and she tells us she’s wearing a suitably goth H.P Lovecraft related t-shirt, so we’re going to have to take her word on that one. 
4.8 out of 5 - Christmas must be a joyous time for dendrophiliacs
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gothsuptrees · 4 years
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Dust Bunny submitted this photo with the comment “After a great consideration I have chosen to reevaluate my vocation and become a raccoon.”
A raccoon, you say?  I am not acquainted with the virtues of raccoons, being an Australian, but I do appreciate their permanent dramatic eye make-up and nocturnal, up-tree habits. Waking up with a dramatic eye must take 15-30 minutes of time from their nightly routine which I can appreciate.  In my complete lack of research, I have discovered that raccoons share similar traits with the Australian drop bear (Thylarctos plummetus).  These fierce creatures drop from trees on unsuspecting passers-by.  I can only imagine what kind of damage a drop-goth could inflict, especially if bedecked in various pointy accessories.
Our raccoon-inspired nocturnal goth is high up her tree. She’s chosen a floral dress (I imagine to attract nocturnal insects) and attractive colourful hair and artfully ripped fishnets.  She is smiling and therefore receives a point deduction.
4.6 out of 5 - Beware the dreaded drop-goth
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