goy-bullshit-translator

[goy-bullshit-translator]

Happy Purim! I'm sending mishloach manos memes through jumblr asks :)

Chag Purim sameach!!!!

#this is so cute i love it

[goy-bullshit-translator]

I'm not the anon who asked about Purim but what is the Purim story?

ALRIGHTY *cracks knuckles* I got off mobile and on desktop for this so you know it’s serious.

Purim Story: They tried to kill us, we survived, let’s eat. 

Keep reading

#bringing this back #for purim 5784 #i definitely meant to reblog this last night but was too drunk to put the thought into actions #chag purim sameach

[goy-bullshit-translator]

Here to toss my hat in the ring for Ocho Kandelikas. Not my favorite because there’s so many good ones, but definitely near the top of my list and criminally slept on

i will absolutely give ocho kandelikas a point for being CRIMINALLY underlooked

it's also like the only ladino hannukah song that broke containment into the ashkie world and it bops

#jewish #jumblr #not a translation #submission #hannukah #channukah #honka discourse '23? #honka

[goy-bullshit-translator]

Honestly I just don't like the maccabeats in general

how DARE YOU

#jumblr #jewish #not a translation #submission #hannukah #channukah #honka discourse '23? #honka

[goy-bullshit-translator]

the ONLY hanuca song ever written is Hanukkah in Santa Monica by Tom Lehrer

that's not true there's also Puppy for Hannukah

#jewish #jumblr #not a translation #honka discourse '23? #hannukah #channukah #submission

[goy-bullshit-translator]

Hi happy hannuka!!! My boyfriend is jewish and I am a goy, and I LOVE latkes (the cute part is that I'm southern so I fry his latkes for him because he is afraid of hot oil) anyway I'm here to beg hat in hand for any onion free latke recipes anybody may have as I have an unfortunate garlic and onion allergy preferably also gluten free as the bf is celiac!! Anyway thank you thank you I love this blog very much 💖

I cannot help you but I am sure someone here can

#jumblr #jewish #submission #channukah #hannukah #honka discourse '23? #not a translation #honka #latkes

[goy-bullshit-translator]

Hi! I’m not Jewish, but the only Hanukkah songs I know are the dreidel song and the Adam Sandler song, and really only one of those is appropriate for preschoolers. Do you have any suggestions for songs I can play in my class so I can include everyone? Thanks!

Hannukah songs that are explicitly aimed at the preschool demographic:

Dreidel Song

Sevivon (this one is great because you can ask them to show you their best dreidel spin spin spin and make them all dizzy and exhausted)

Hannukah O Hannukah

In My Window (be cautious with this one or else your most annoying toddler will insist on singing every single verse every single night) (it was me I was the most annoying toddler)

Hannukah songs that are preschool appropriate when you as an adult need something that has more than three notes so you don't lose your mind:

Puppy for Hannukah

Any parody by The Maccabeats or six13

Pretty much every classic hebrew song

Maoz Tzur

Mi Yimallel

Al Hanissim

Hanerot Hallalu

The hebrew ones are all pretty explicitly religious songs, so if blatant "G-d saved the Jews" themes aren't something you wanna introduce into a secular preschool I'd skip them.

Hope this helps! Report back with your song opinions.

#jumblr #jewish #hannukah #channukah #honka discourse '23? #not a translation

[goy-bullshit-translator]

I'm a trans guy but I'm making latkes so my gender is now Jewish mother. I'm getting my non-Jewish housemates to eat them (be proud of me I've never made latkes before)

I'm so proud of you.

Oh I have a relevant tweet for this

[goy-bullshit-translator]

My favorite Hanukkah song is 8 Days of Hanukkah by Sharon Jones and the Dap-Kings. There's a SAXOPHONE!!

My favorite funny Hanukkah song/skit is Can I Interest You in Hanukkah by Jon Stewart and Steven Colbert. Watching Jon Stewart pull a latke out of his coat pocket makes me die laughing every time.

Can I interest you in Hannukah is actually a complete funny bop

SAXAPHONE SUPREMACY

#jewish #not a translation #jumblr #channukah #hannukah #honka discourse '23?

[goy-bullshit-translator]

everybody judge my latke recipe wtf is this

#onion (1? 2? 0.5?) #WHO is responsible for this #it's me im responsible #hannukah #Channukah #sure this can be #honka discourse '23? #Jewish #jumblr

[goy-bullshit-translator]

a chanuka song should sound like a call to war against the seleucids

A CHANNUKAH SONG SHOULD SOUND LIKE A CALL TO WAR AGAINST THE SELEUCIDS!!! WE ARE ALL FORGETTING OUR ROOTS

[goy-bullshit-translator]

Here's my real take. We are so desperate to assimilate into the general Christian vibes of this time of year that we churn out repetitive horrible pop music that aims to emulate Christmas carols and never will because modern pop hannukah songs do not play the same role in Hannukah culture as modern Christmas songs do in Christmas culture. Assimilation is killing our hannukah songs. We should have Channukah songs!! They just shouldn't sound like knockoff Jingle Bells

#jewish #jumblr #channukah #hannukah #honka discourse '23?

[goy-bullshit-translator]

jack black's hannukah song isn't very good. very rarely does a song annoy me enough to remove it from a playlist but that one did

I can't say I've listened to it but I'll take your word

#jewish #jumblr #not a translation #ask #hannukah #channukah #honka discourse '23?

[goy-bullshit-translator]

I like the dreidel song the best but that’s cause my brother and I make up new verses and the one who can’t come up with one loses.

you're SO valid for this everybody submit your proposals for a new dreidel song verse

#jewish #jumblr #not a translation #honka discourse '23? #Channukah #hannukah

[goy-bullshit-translator]

i actually have a hannukah playlist i'm working on, and sandler's hannukah song is never going on it! i am also taking suggestions, if anyone has any 😎

thank you for standing strong against the tide of sandlerism.

Top tier hannukah songs:

Mi Yimallel

Hanerot Hallalu

Maccabeats Candlelight

Al Hanissim

Maoz Tzur

#jewish #jumblr #not a translation #submission #honka discourse '23? #channukah #hannukah

[goy-bullshit-translator]

ALRIGHT BITCHES IVE GOT IT

this year I wanna hear your most controversial, most off the wall, most likely to get a latke thrown at you Channukah Music Opinions.

I'll start. Adam Sandler's Channukah song isn't good and dynamite by the Maccabeats remains their best hit.

#jewish #jumblr #hannukah #channukah #honka #honka discourse '23? #not a translation

[goy-bullshit-translator]

Welcome back

bestie I know hannukah starts tonight and I am working on what this year's discourse is gonna be. Haven't figured it out yet but I'm ready to come out swinging get prepared.

#jewish #jumblr #not a translation #honka discourse '23?