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gracesami · 7 months
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Could I ask about skz soulmate au where on their arms appear name of their love and it hurts when he is standing near to his love until he confess?
this is apparently becoming a series and i’m really bad at writing series but part one is here!
thanks for the request!
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gracesami · 3 years
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Im nothing compared to you but I'll keep my eyes closed
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Sad! Minho Ă— reader / Angst
From strangers to lovers again
Part I : I'm nothing compared to you...
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Minho is sitting on the bar stool with sagging shoulders as he tiredly runs his hand over half his face. The bartender in front of him refills his round glass, which Minhos immediately grabs and presses to his lips. His head filled as if it was going to fall to the side at any moment and land on the ground. But even then he would just lie limp there and probably wouldn't have the strength to pull himself up again.
It hurts too much for a moment. And even if it was due to his destroyed mental situation, it spreads physically to him and he drinks the bitter stuff down to escape that even faster. Hangs his head while the neon purple light shines through the unfilled bar. It was a fancy place. One and another of the other guest were playing billiards behind him, laughing while a group of girls sitting a few chairs further beside him, chatting away. But Minho didn't care about these people when he let the smoke out and drooped his head that became heavier after time. Close shortly his eyes before starring at the counter in front of him. Let his thought flowing across his mind which were more then cruel. Unendureable.
With the lighted cigarette on his lips again, he barely catches a pair of eyes that came from one of the women who glanced at him, laughing softly as she checked him off. The other women probably try to persuade their friend to speak to him. They were possibly older than him. Dressed more elegantly in contrast to his torn trousers and his large black jacket. It wasn't clear what they wanted from someone like him. However, for no important moment did Minho have his attention on her. Perhaps his eyes were briefly in their direction without being aware of it. Minho's mind was at the same time far away but still with him to let him hold on to the emotions he wants to get rid of. There was no room for the rest of the shit.
The pain was too buried in him, flowing into his thoughts. Staring at an empty space and pulling on the cigarette he is holding between his fingers. The smoke quickly leaves his mouth, flying upwards as his head starts to ache and his body is numb from the heavy alcohol. Everything revolves in him and his environment feels too spurious. He couldn't stay here longer.
The beautiful woman with the elegant dress who is about to ask him is leaning towards him at the moment when he is already getting up drunk. Showing her just the cold shoulder and only keeping his eyes on the way to the bathroom. The girl turns back disappointed to her friends, and like always begins to talking bad about him ,,Fucking fuckboy".
With his shoulders hanging, he walks along the cold, lighted hallway in a daze. Everything revolves around him and he felt sick. He was even worse off than before and the feelings he had tried to drink away were only intensified by the alcohol. He only felt the pain more intensely. As if it were the only thing he is forced to be bound to. He couldn't shake the feeling of sadness and despair away. Had no idea how to do to get rid of it.
For a moment he lost control over his body. Catches himself against the wall with his hand to prevent him from falling to the cold floor. He takes with hazy mind his time before Arriving at the small open bathroom after turning. With his head hanging, he holds on to the sink with both hands spreading out. Lifts his gaze to look at himself in the mirror and only stares at his reflection with cloudy eyes.
He looked the way he felt too. Shitty and miserable. Turning on the water, only the neon red lights that shone from the bar illuminate him. Holding his fingers down for a moment, he feels the cold water flowing against his skin, but the feeling was just numb. It's like his mind is completely somewhere else than where his body is. And he could already guess where it had disapears. to her. It was with her. Of course.
God, the thought of her was enough to desperately run his wet fingers over his face before he straightened up again. Holding a new cigarette to his lips and burn it up with the broken red lighter that belonged to her. The toxic nicotine took in and breath in his body before he breathed out the amount of smoke. His movements too hasty than they usually were. He just want to diseapear. He want all of this shitty feelings to diseapear.
Did she feel the same? So damn miserable and broken like she could die any minute? How long did she have to deal with the feelings alone before she finally revealed it to him that day and drew the line? He let the line draw without stopping her at all. Without assurance that day. That damn day. Minho's head shook as the conversation reappeared in his head.
,,I'm just saying that I feel lonely here without you, Minho. I'm done going to bed alone every damn day and then waking up alone again, "I explain to him, looking for the conversation when he comes back from his quick shower. It's something after midnight and not even an hour since he left his Dance practice to come home. It was the earliest time to catch him although I should be glad he showed up at all. There were days when he didn't come home to me for days. And when he did then he left so early before I could even woke up. Coming So late that I was already asleep. There were days when I hardly heard from him for days.
,, Really, (y/n)? Isn't that getting old? Even for you "He doesn't take me seriously. Standing at the counter in the kitchen, pours water from the water jug. Has the gray towel hanging over his shoulder. His hair is still wet and he wore his sleeping clothes on his body. Of course, he wants to go to bed going instead of spending time with me. We were both tired at the end of the day. Minho maybe even more than me because of his strict schedule, but still I couldn't break the hope that he would take our little time together as a priority. Is that too selfish from me to ask?
His posture alone shows how tired he is from the hard work today. His only wish just to go to bed. And for a moment I open my mouth to tell him that it's okay and we can forget it for today. He can then go to bed to get his desired sleep. It was my love for him that wanted to give in and let him in pieces. But the love for myself that kept me from saying the words. No, I couldn't go on like that anymore.
,,Minho. I can't- "
,,then you should never have gotten involved with me "he breaks through my sentence, leaving me speechless with surprise. He let the words slide over his lips as easily as if he's not interessed to know how much i suffer. As if it was my fault so I have to deal with this on my own."If you can't stand it," he has finished filling the glass, but it doesn't look like he's still drinking it. "Then you don't have to stay and suffer any longer, do you?" They were words that I hadn't expected and that I wasn't prepared for. Was that what I got when I opened up my feelings to my lover? No, that was- "What?" I ask dryly, my voice breaks at the end, "What did you say?" But Minho stares coldly at me. ,,You understood me"
Leave or stay. So it was that easy for him.
He knows it. He knows that he should never say these words. Even in that moment he knew.But they left his lips without even considering the effect. How much he now wished that he could only take the words back. Minho turns around from the mirror with weak movements and steps out of the bathroom of the bar. God, he couldn't do that anymore. The conversation repeats itself over and over again in his head. It didn't matter how hard he tried to swallow it, her voice was sticking through his head.
"Is it that easy for you?" I throw reproachfully and incredulously into the room. Can't believe how he doesn't care about all of this.
,,What else can I say about it?" His voice as if it would be from a stranger, ,,You clearly don't love me enough to accept me." He’s accusing me now, moves away from the counter. Begin to doubts me whereupon I laugh sarcastically out of frustration. "Right?" He pulls on when I fire back, "This is ridiculous" looking at him again. However, he seriously pointed at me with piercing eyes: "You didn't deny it", "Because it's not about that" I try to take up my point of view again, which Minho doesn't allow a bit. 
,,Of course, it's about something like that. You act selfish. I should already be in bed instead you decided to stress me out with such topics. Do you even think of me for a moment? "
,,I fucking do, Minho" I defend myself against his accusation, "I always think of you. You have always been my top priority." I let him know, now not as aggressive as the times before. Try again to explain him how important this topic is for me. And for a moment minho stands still and just listened. For a moment,,but I also want to be yours, as I always have been. ". And with that minhos discontent built up again ,,Oh god not again," he sighs out loud, as if he couldn't hear this shit anymore. Driving his hands across his face in frustration as he turns away from me.
Walking back down the long, narrow corridor, he can already see the counter and his seat again, where the alcohol is still ready for him. Another attempt to numb the pain. It was a damn vicious circle and he was well aware of it. Neither alcohol nor nicotine could rid him of what was chaining him.
His eyes move disinterestedly to the group of women who are looking bitter and arrogant at him. Minho clicks his tongue in annoyance as he ignores them. Looking away tiredly and not paying attention to those around him. Better said, is not capable of it.
“Minho, I feel really broken. It's hell if you don't sleep next to me "I try to swallow a sob. Our voice are loud enough so that anyone who walks thru the hallyway could defiently hear us.
"Have you ever thought that you could be the reason why I am not coming home" he replies bitterly. Defends himself with self-protective attitude and an uplifting anger. Comes in my direction, but he's still too far away from me. As if he would can't stand to be near me. "I can't stand to be next to you anymore."
That was a lie. That was such a shameless, gross lie back then. All he wanted was to be around her. He loved her so much. He still does, but anyway, no matter what he tried, it wasn't good enough. He should have tried more. But he didn't even have to do that. He should have just explained how hard he was trying instead of letting off his frustration on her. She would have understood, just as she always did before.
Minho's shoulder bangs hard against another pair whereupon he stumbles and the other guy also trip slightly. Minho couldn't care less. ,,Dude, watch the fuck out" the stranger curse at Minho, who just wanted to continue his way with lowered eyes till this words cross his ears. He definitely blamed the alcohol in his blood for his impulsive reaction otherwise he would have ignored him as usual.
"Sometimes you're really a terrible person" I let him know with a painful expression but fiery eyes.
Minho looks at him with blank dead eyes, annoyed. ,,You popped into me, you fucker" he lets the other person look irritably at him. "How was that?" The stranger takes a menacing step towards Minho, who returns his gaze unimpressed. ,,You’re not able to walk and now you’re mute too?". His hands find Minho's collar which he tugs angrily at. Minho's disinterested expression only made him more racy. "Take care of your dirty mouth, you son of a bitch"
But before either of them can react, his friend interferes and pulls his friend back by the shoulders. So that he loses the hold of Minho a little. “Let the shit with him get away from you. We're not here to fight, "he says to him, noting that Minho is in a drunken, bad mentall shape. While his friend only takes his eyes off Minho as soon as he has been convinced. He pushes away from Minho endlessly, wanting to turn away.
,,Yes, of course. It's me again. "he fires back bitterly, ignoring the pain hiding behind my voice. He was just as hurt as I was on this point. But his ego was too strong to swallow the next words. ,,And that's the reason why i wish we would be finally fucking done. "his words hit me more than they should. They made my heart beat in pain and literally crushed it. And that was the point where I finally had enough. "Fuck you, Minho"
,,Fuck you, man,“´the guy throws those last  words at him, but the younger one isn't finished with him yet. Minho's tight grip turns him quickly and  grabs him by the collar. His eyes are almost Burning. It wasn’t the smartest thing to do by someone drunk who was barely able to stand on his own feet. But Minho couldn't help himself.. "You fucking bumped into me and then blame me for it. And you think you can just go now?" Minho asks in an uplifting voice, looking straight into his eyes. it was really stupid. God, he know it himself. His grip on the next words tighten ,,You should watch your way, son of a bitch" and minho's fist hits his face. With strength so that the other stumbles, hisses in pain and holds his burning cheek. And there was the Damage already made. It doesn't take a second before the guy pushes Minho and hits him across the face, who's feeling numb but is aware of the pain.
,, Now you have the nerve to say such things, but who was there when the self-doubt took over you and you saw no other way out than to give up dancing-” ,,Better hold back your next words, (y/n)” my first warning that didn’t stop my next words to slide out of my mouth.
Minho hits painfully the Ground, touches the beaten spot that hurts like shit. Fuck him off. He can feel the pair of eyes from the guy, who receives a curse from his friend , on him without even looking up. ,,it’s enough now” his friend growls angrily. Rougly pull his friend away while minho’s chest rises and falls as he breathes heavily. 
,,You were at the Ground, Minho. You were alone and lonely. Nobody was there. How even could they? You pushed everyone away from you and let no one come near you. And everything got worse- ”my voice breaks, but every word is audible. Minho heard every single word clearly. ,,(Y / N), one more word-”my eyes watering from that Point on.
Minho gets off the floor. With his brow furrowed together, he holds himself straight till he feel the Ground under his feet again. Before Walking towards the guy who turn his back again towards him. “Apologize, you wanker” His foot bangs against his back, hits it hard so that the victim swings forward. With the weight falls on the decoration table and crush to the Ground. The things fall on top of him.
 “When you got kicked out before your debut because you weren't good enough. Your doubts almost eaten you up and you were down. Always called me because you didn't- "" Enough- "his body trembles with rage as I bring his worst memory back to life I couldn't have hurt him more painfully than with the words I roll over my mouth. He warned me but we both know I crossed the line a long time ago.Just how he did.
Now the other has lost his patience not only with his friend but also with Minho. Grab him by the collar before throw a Punch at his face.That spark an argument. Minho struck where he had to believe that it was a human like-looking being and took just as much as he gives. But the blows that fell on him were only vague given his condition. The pain was there, the insults and provocations that slide over his lips, did not let his opponent be friendly with him. Minho defended himself but ...
,,because you wasn't able Sleep from fear and sadness. I had to call chan because you were no longer able to-”
Minho hit the second one enough so that he would hit the wall but the another one catch minho at that short time and pulled him to the ground. Built himself over him and hit the younger one.
A loud noise makes me flinch and my words stand unspoken in the room, but I've said enough. Enough that Minho’s body shakes with anger and the pain is clearly visible in his face. The broken vase now lies on the floor between us. The shattered pieces spread across the floor so that we can't find a way to each other. The flowers he bought for me two weeks ago lay lifeless on the whole mess. It was damn ironic how much the picture in front of us reflected our relationship just at one glance.
Minho clenched his teeth as he tried to slam the guy away from him, hissing and cursing. He tasted blood, but from that point on he didn't care. It was relief and just too heavenly to feel something different from the feeling that had been dragging its way into his chest for many weeks and months. Covering one pain with another. Even if it was only for a Moment.
,, Do you even know what you're saying? "I ask trembling, the tears are already rolling down my cheeks as I claw my hands on the fabric of my sweater. ,, oh i fucking do." He spilled back, still angry at me. "If I always have to listen to this shit from you when I come home, then I will never enter this house again" "Fine. Then don't do it, you asshole" I spit back.
Minho hears footsteps approaching them from nearby before the next moment the weight that was on him was torn away. Minho still hears the racy words from the guy who is being prevented by guests and his friend from attacking Minho again. At the same moment he is pulled from the ground by the plump bartender. His grip is around the drunken man so he won't do any more stupid things. As if he would.
Minho had enough for the night and saw no reason to deal with this shit any further. His head throbbed, his body strained from the whole fight. He didn't want to be here anymore. Not with the feeling in his chest that made him feel so small. Minho pulls himself away from the grip of the older man, straightening his jacket and after one last dead glance at the people around him, he moves away from them and walks purposefully towards the exit.
That night the most disgusting, ruthless words that could have spoken left our mouths. We hurt each other until we take advantage of each other's weak points. In the midst of the chaos, we forgot the reason for the argument that started. But neither of us decided to take back the cruel spoken words. We both knew that even then, the words could no longer be taken back. Not with the damage that has been done. It was too late.
Minho walks across the empty asphal.Stressed, grabs his thick hair with his head hanging down. God. Groaning inwardly, he lets himself fall against the already closed store. His back hits the metallic material as he leans his head back against the cold metal.
Minho is now finally fed up with all of this. Can't stand it in the same room with me anymore and turns his back on me to walk towards the exit, ,,Where do you think you are going? " I ask him irritably as I notice his next move. Nothing new to what I'm not used to at Minho. But just to accepting that; i was done with it. ,,Wherever. Just get away from here, ”he replies bitterly, no longer looking back at me. 
And with my next words I make him hold still in his next movements.
"If you walk out of this door now, then we're over" my voice shudders with despair and anger. My eyes bore on his back, which been turn into my direction. His chest still moving quickly with anger. And i couldn't see his face now but i know, that he was so tired like me to that point. I didn't want the words to slip out of my lips, but as much as I knew that I was putting him in such a desperate situation, I knew that I had reached my limit with this too.
I prayed that he would turn around. That he would try to understand me and we could try to talk this out. Going to bed peacefully together, like the last time,which was weeks ago. Blame on his busy schedule. I had too much faith in this relationship. Believed that we could climb every hurdle together but in the end ...
Cars are driving the road past him. Most of them on their way to coming home and let themselves fall on the bed to get the sleep they look Forward to. Maybe even if they were lucky enough, they'll find themselves in the arms of a loved one tonight. But Minho had none of it. No more. Not a place to call home. Neither a lover who he can call his and into whose arms he could fall. He spent his nights lying wide awake with the tormenting thoughts that circled through his head and did not let him get a little bit of sleep. And it was all his fault.
Without looking back again, the door slams loudly behind Minho, who has made his decision after a moment's hesitation. As soon as he's gone, I feel like the world around me suddenly falls apart. Collapses on me and I slowly slide to the ground. The tears that had dried broke out again and rolled down my cheek. The only thing that echoed through the room was my loud crying and the sound of me gasping for breath. it was quiet for a while before an meow sounds and I look to the side to see our, rather Minho's cat looking at me with worried and curious eyes. I tried to keep my crying silent but I couldn't hold it back. and it only got worse when I see Soonie's leg bleeding. She must have injured herself on the broken pieces on the floor. Minhos and my chaos didn't just bleed us. Literally. If Minho could see her now. Quickly picking up Soonie, I push back the more tears that want to come up. I hug her tightly, hold her against my chest and carry her to the bathroom to take care of her. Cleaning up the wound and simplify her healing process. I just wish there was something that could heal my pain.
Minho didn't think long when he took his cell phone out of his pocket and entered the month untouched number that he wanted to call several times. But he always decided against it. He leans his head back, that was pounding, closes his eyes while holding the receiver to his ear. It beeps on the other line. Once. Twice. For seconds. Too long. Minho gets this only in a hazy way anyway. It wasn't about fact whether she will pick up or not. It was all about just saying the words he was dying to get rid of.
He pushes himself off the wall as he took his time. His head needs time to get the words out of his mouth. It was all about time. "Hey" he wanted to let out the first words willfully but nothing came of it. His voice was barely louder than a whisper and it didn't sound really gentle either. ,,Honestly, I knew you could be like this. You can be pretty cruel, "he says with a broken voice before he smiles slightly sarcastically with despair," All this shit driving me fucking mad. And I have the feeling that I'm going crazy ”he bites his lower lip and unintentionally tears it open, which is why it bleeds easily. Minho doesn't care.
“I wish i would have a Person now. Someone who holds me tight and heals me from this pain" he pours out, grimacing in pain. “A-And i-God.I want you back. I n-need you, you know? I am nothing compared to you. Nothing without you ”he says freely, taking a long time to leave the sentences out. His head is not working smoothly and yet his words couldn't be truer. God, if he could he would tell her all these words right here now. But that should be enough to burden him a Little less. Even if in small quantities.
"So could you please" he asks softly into the receiver, "be that person again?"
There is silence as he exhales and stays still. This should be enough for now. He better stop before Breaking completly Tonight.
He takes the receiver from his ear and tries to break off the mailbox with half-closed eyes.
But his limbs freeze and his heart stops with his movements as he looks down at the display.
The call has already been picked up. 
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gracesami · 3 years
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Red . It's Red
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Lee Minho Ă— Reader
Dom! Lee Minho Ă— sub! Reader
But also soft! Minho. ? Whatever
- You will understand what i mean.
Read it yourself at your own risk :)
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Minho's hips thrust forward carelessly, buried his cock deeper in my hole so that a moan falls from my mouth again. Again and again his name slipped through my lips. I bite my lip to muffle the embarrassing noises I let myself be heard. Maybe for the reason that they just came from me and received no reaction. Even with that slight signal , Minho should have seen the first sign. However, Minho did not respond. I doubted that he was even listening to me. Minho was in his own world for now. As if I were nonexistent for him. Neither me nor my pleasure. Tears form in the corner of my eye as I gasp as soon as his hips quicken. I can't say whether it's because of desperation or the emotional chaos.
My slightly trembling hand finds his bare shoulder. A little weakened, I push him away from me, not very hard but also not imperceptibly, enough to draw his attention, to recognize another sign. Its thrusts were deep and made me see stars in pure colors. He rammed it deep and fast. Almost made me cry out and I have to put the back of my hand against my mouth to dampen it. It was too much for my body. It's all too much for me. But Minho took my cue completely wrong, almost provocatively. The opposite of what I was trying to say. His hand grips my wrist with an iron grip and pushes it forward over my head against the mattress. Has now bent further forward and lets a scream get stuck in my throat as his position changes. He now has his cock deeper in me.
"Red" i mumbled breathlessly beside of soundless sobs.At first he didn't hear. With quick breaths he kept ramming his cock against my hole as I lay under him with my eyes half open. No matter how I tried to pull him closer to me, he wouldn't let it. ,,Minho. Please. Baby"my voice weaker than ever ,,Slow down. Please just slow down. Minho!" I try to speak stricter but my moans slipping sinfull from my lips. But he couldn't hear my anyway. Minho only focuses on my pussy which is getting wetter by time. So he can now thrust into me more easily and smoothly.
it wasn't brutal. but it hurts. Sometimes it did, but the pain was always tempting. But right now it outweighed the pleasure.
"Red" it was unhearbly. The words were just mumlings under my breath. ,,Red.Red.Red" i sob.
Barely audible. Nothing that you could not overhear under a moan. but Minho did. Though weak, the words had an enormous effect on him. His body tensed. His hips stopped abruptly trusting against my skim, his dick burring deep inside of me without moving a single bit, let me breath out the hot air.
Not sure if he misheard or not. But a cold shiver runs down his body as soon as he hears the faint words slip from my lips. And suddenly he assumed a completely different expression. There was fear in his eyes that he might have seriously hurt me. Pain that passes over pleasure. Or much worse. He made me feel inferior and unloved, like I was just a toy for his own desires. Unfortunately, both cases have surfaced once. And in both cases, Minho made sure that they never repeat themselves. Hell, it took months for him to treat me roughly in bed again. And even then, paying attention to every move i made, looking for signs that would show him he was overdoing it. And i still remember the look on his eyes, which were soaked in fear, shame and remorse. And the same eyes are now staring down at me.
,,What did you say?" He wants to know, still breathless from the long kisses before. Or from slight Panic. But i wasn't sure.
I stayed in silence.
,,(y/n)" His voice more demanding now. He wants a answer but i could'nt. I didn't want to. Damn safe word. Why it needed to slip thru my lips? If I let it stand, maybe he will think he has misheard and then move on? but is that really what i want? His cold eyes on my body while he fucks inside me? His cold words who let me feeling im a dumb slut? His harsh touches who don't give me even a slight feeling of warmth. It would be a lie to say that I didn't love Minho's rough side. My body reacted on his own with excitement and butterflies in my stomach as soon as he treats me like his bad kitten.
And when Minho came home from dance training today with an annoyed expression and angry physique, I was able to figure out how it will end today. I didn't complain. I almost never did. I was his good girl.
But today. Today I also had an extremely stressful day at work. Everything could'nt go worser for me and at the end of the day I was the one to get blamed for every mistake that happend today. I spend the rest of my day upset lying in my bed and waiting for the love of my life to coming home.It was a shitty day. So the joy of finally holding Minho in my arms again was all stronger than ever. I wanted him close to me, be able to kiss him. Touching and telling him what I want him to do to me. Today, however, the table turned differently. For me. Because Minho was today in control to let everything out on me. Fuck his stressfull day out of his mind. His eyes cold and indifferent, as if he were bored with me. No matter what I did or how I tried my best to look good in front of him, he made me feel like I hadn't tried it well enough. and worst of all, he didn't say a word during the whole time and that made it all feel even more wrong. Minho's passion in bed is dirty talk. He could do it better than anyone i knew.
His words were soaked in sin, so sardonic and playful at the same time. Otherwise he can never stop talking. Could do this for hours. it felt so strange when he kept quiet. so..damn...wrong.
But now i wish at the same time that he just stay quit or just let me be. Instead of burning holes with his deep eyes on my face. He wants that i repeat myself but i didn't have the appility to do so. Not again. But Minho wants to know and wait till i finally speak up. ,,Minho-" I say his name with a pout, want to get rid of the uncomfortable, tense mood. Minho was not influenced by me, however, "(Y / n)" his voice is now more certain. ,, i want you to repeat what you just said" but i shake my head.
"I'm sorry", my voice trembles slightly, shaking the situation away. "Just forget what i say, okay?" I suggest and then ask, "Please just keep going.Please-"
The realization that he hadn't misheard hit him right in the face. He breathes in the air which his feelings had squeezed out as he let his gaze fall away from me.
Not believing what he hears, he takes the grip from my wrist and shakes his head slightly. My words ricochet off him. "Shit" he murmurs, hissing under breath and is out of my hole in one movement. "Minho-" I try to grab his arm and pull him back to me, but he shakes it away.
,,No" he interrupt me strictly like i thought he will. There was no way that Minho would let it slide now.
..............
My body is wrapped around the warm white blanket as my tears slowly dry, but don't go away completely. I've calmed down in the meantime where Minho nervously strokes his hair. Sit at the corner of our bed with head turned away from me and looked a little lowered. I take a couple of sips from the water bottle that Minho brought me before my eyes land on him. Closing the bottle, his flat voice takes up the floor without looking at me,,I'll get you towels. And then I'll clean the mess , so you can go to bed- "he says in a broken voice, takes an excuse to stay away from me. Wants to give me my distance, because He's sure that i need it now.Only that I don't. Certain sure that as soon as he steps out of the door, he will blame himself.
Minho wants to get up but my hand around his arm is pulling him back to bed. His eyebrows are slightly pressed together as he meets my eyes. Confused whether I am still missing something or something still hurts me. But before he can ask I'll interfere. ,,Stay here" putting my hand on his upper arm. But he shakes slightly his head ,,Later, okay?" he speaks softly. ,,Now I'll get the things for you. Take a rest,baby" He takes my hand from his arm, squeezes it gently and then wants to get up. But his guilty expression didn't change for a bit. However, I stop him again. Pull him down to me whereupon a deep breath leaves his lips. He almost falls on me but crash instead against the wood materiall, hold himself against the bed ,, (y / n) "he mumbles gently, patiently, but not sure if it was the best for now.
,,I'm sorry " I had my arms wrapped around his neck and hugged him. When he shakes his head again,,Stop apologizing. I should have noticed instead of fucking you. I should have noticed that you are in pain and far from comfort. God Damn" in the meantime he has let me take hold of him. He lands on his knees on the bed as he rubs his eyes. Stunned and still not recovering from the event that took place half an hour ago. He allows me to hold him in my arms as he curses and shares his thoughts with me, "I'm really stupid. I'm such a stupid asshole. I should have noticed. Even before you say the safe word" ,,Minho-"I tried to get my words through but he just shakes his head and leans back, away from my touch.
The strands of his hair hang down over his forehead. ,, No, (y / n). When do you finally start to set your limits with me instead of always justifying my actions? "He didnt even look at me just like he would speak to himself instead of me. ,,When do you finally-",,Because i know you "i let him know and look right thru his eyes that stare back at me as soon as the words slip thru my lips,, I trust you because i know you. I justify your actions because I know them well as well as the reasons why you cause them.'' I silence him, which is why I keep talking. Lean forward a little and slide my fingertips over his cheek. Hold his face with my hand. ,,You didn't know and that's why you didn't stop. Should you have known it better? Well,..yes, maybe that. But - "I gently run my fingertip over his lips. His breath touch my finger.,,At that moment, I'm pretty sure, then you would have stopped." His lips were rougher than usual from all the nibbling on them. But the need to press mine against his was enormous. No matter how rough they may be. ,,And you did" I make it clear for him and look up from his lips to his eyes, which analyze my movement. He takes his time to think about my words till i ask in between the short silence. ,,Okay?" And then Fortunately, he start nodding slowly.,,Okay", he breathes back before I pull him into a tender kiss. He gently returns the kiss with just light pressure.
His tongue runs over my lower lip, asks for no admission but occasionally to get a taste of them. His lips were heavenly to kiss and so juicy against mine, despite their roughness, they were precious.
Wrapping my hands around his neck again, I hug him again when he finally relaxes. The hug returns by snuggling closer to me. Stroking Minho's soft hair, the tension is finally released from him and his shoulders hang down.
"I'm sorry," he whispers softly against the crook of my neck as I nod like i accept his apology. My arms are still around his neck. Soak up Minho's warmth and breathe in his sweet scent. Sigh, relieved and satisfied. I didn't want anything other than him hold in my arms. Minho on the other side wants nothing else than to show me how sorry he is and how much he is valued by me.
I almost decay in my constructive calm before a whimper leaves my lips as his hand touches my clit. And drives over my pussy. His hands were cold but his touches were warm. "I had such a stressful day today and I couldn't think of anything better,..." his lips run along the crook of my neck as he let his words out. Just touch my skin lightly instead of kissing it as if he had to breath all about me in first. From the outside then inwards.
,,..Than to let it all down on you. Haven't even thought of asking how your day was. Was it very bad today?" His voice just a wispher.,,Did you miss me a lot, mhmmm? "He snuggles into my neck like a cat. It would be cute if it weren't for his fingers on my pussy and the rough voice that is now speaking thru his mouth.
,, Yes, i missed you so much." I breath out as i hold him still close to me ,,Just wanted to hold you and be loved by you ",, loved by me? "He asked back, runs his lips over my neck. His fingers too. Move down and open my entrance a crack. His middle finger easily sticks in, to check the hot water. As I draw in air as my wetness flows out and slides over his finger. A calm, contented sound trembles slightly against his vocal cords.
,,You wanted to be loved by me" he chuckles slightly, but not very amused. ,,And what i did instead?" His deep voice cracks on the end, waiting for an answer. But i know i wasn't the one who should answer the question.,, Roughly trusting in you instead of comforting you like you wanted. I fucked you till you couldn't breath anymore-" his choice of words made me squeeze my thighs a little.
,,Im so damn-" his finger slipped thru my entrace suddenly, lets out a loud whine from my lips. As he put sloppy kisses on the crack of my neck. ,,-Sorry, baby" He applies pressure to my hole with another finger as he pumps the first one in and out, before slipping both of them inside. Let my mind going almost blank.
,,So sorry for my princess" he wispered while his fingers keep digging inside me. He wasn't looking for speed, but for enough pressure and depth from his fingers so that I perceive every movement intensely. Until it was the only thing I could think of right now.
,,Minho "I whimpered his name again and again. Could'nt let other words slipped past my lips. Minho's other hand strokes my hair to the side, holding the hairpiece lightly before his hand leans on my neck. Hold me tight as his lips wander over my collarbone to my neck. He kissed the spots, licked them before gently tucking his teeth in.
"Minho.Please-just .." I try to built a correct human sentence when he already interrupts me with a drawn out. ,,Ssshh. I know''. Kissing my skin along my neck. Going my neck up so that I tilt my head slightly to one side, lift my head so that he has more space before he builts himself a lift up as soon as he reach the end of my Neck which he kissed upwards. Breath hot air against my lips. ,,I know"
His weight over me Let me fall back on the bed with one movement. The blanket slips from my shoulders, doesn't wrap anything around my body anymore. In the new position, Minho's fingers now went deeper than before. Make me arch my back as i let a loud moan past my lips. Immediately followed by the third finger that penetrates my entrance and moves with the others in a passionate rhythm. ,,Shit, Minho" i moaned out and get a chuckle out from him as he still leans over me.
He has his arm under the back of my head as support and his body lies diagonally to the side of me. His knees close enough between my legs. His hungry, watchful eyes fixed directly on me as he focuses on every, single move i make. At the sight of me his lips would love to slide deep groans past them but he swallows them down. Fully focused on me.
My eyes were closed from that point on as I took each one of his touches as if they were my fresh new breath that made me live this moment. I could feel him close to me. He was so looked at me. His mind was here with me, his body pressed against mine, but still that wasn't enough. I needed more. No matter how greedy that may sound. I needed him much closer than that.
"Minho" I claw at his shoulder, pull him closer to me, bring a sardistic smile out of the boy's lips. But that was not enough. I needed him closer. "Min. Please. I.. can't...-"
,,I know, princess. I want you closer too" he reads my mind and his fingers stopped abruptly. Let me moan briefly before he moves. His now wet fingers slide gently over my cheek as he sits upright so his legs are between my thighs and his upper body hovers over mine. His hands lift my legs up at a better angle with his arms wrapping around my thighs. And I can only let my head fall back with excitement as his cock now presses very close against my skin.
His fingertips fall on my skin, their tracks slide down as if they were kissing every part their cross. So gently and carefull. But at the same time were his touches so hot. Minho really couldn't take his eyes off my body, whether he tried or not. His eyes scanned every curve to the smallest detail which he laid his eyes on or could reach with his Fingertips who are tickling against my sensitive skin. Took all of me.
His stare intimidates me and makes me flush at the same time. and in spite of that I didn’t stand still, couldn't lay here impatiently and with losing patience. I wanted to feel his hands on me.
,,Please.Minho" i begged ,,Just do something. I need you" he silence me as he press his lips against mine. meet my eyes, which look at him gently and he returns the look even more tenderly.
,,You don't have to beg for it "he let his lips fly across my cheek, close his eyes shortly before open them again and stare right back at mine again. Minho had always have the most beautiful eyes that I have ever get caught to. They captured everything that would be found in the most breathtaking places on the whole planet. More beautiful than the most beautiful, brightest starry sky. They made shooting stars appear next to them. He had a whole starry sky in them and at the same time they were blank black. The stars invisible to find into them, replaced with his feelings, which he whispers to me with just one look. I could let all the emotions he wants me to know about, see with just one look right inside of him. "You deserve this all" his lips kiss his way to my lower eyes up to my ear while his fingers brush my neck "All that and so much more," he whispers against my lips and his eyes stare again in mine.
His fingers find my core again. Brushes his fingers over it and smears them with my liquid as he lets out a groan. The moisture between my legs almost drips down my inner thighs. I was so fucking wet for him. With the other hand he holds my thigh, presses the body part tighter as he looks up at me. His eyes were soaked with lust but there was also gentleness and patience in them. But there was much more caution when he checked my face for signs that would show him in the smallest of sight that everything is maybe going too fast for me.
,,Color?"he asks me as I lie under him with an irregular, excited heartbeat and have to detach myself from the sight of his dark, beautiful eyes, which are slightly covered by his hair, in order to meet his eyes directly. Instead of just part of his face.,,Green" I let him know, before close my eyes annoyed when he doesn't move and doesn't look convinced.,,Baby, I'm really okay" I emphasize the words as believably as possible as i look up to him. ,,im pretty fine actually,you know?" I joke around and bring an amused smile out of minho's lips. before it breaks again.
It's true. I couldn't feel better at the moment. Although the only thing I lack is the patience here to finally feel him inside of me. ,,So fucking please."slide my fingers through his hair and dragged him down a bit.,,Do something." Minho took a few seconds to think about it before he believes my words and turns his head slightly to press a tender kiss on my forearm ., Green sounds like a pretty good color. I can work with it. "His voice sounds playful now, lets a smile cross my lips.
Minho took his time with me. Even before he push his dick inside of me, he was waiting patiently for me until I gave him a signal to be able to continue. And even then, Minho hesitated.
Pressed feathery kisses against my thigh. Holds my leg over his shoulder as he taste my skin. "God, you have such soft skin," he compliments me ,,and so damn beautiful legs. Holy shit" he breaths out as he find a hold on my leg and stares shamelessly . Kissing and biting the skin softly when I just whimpered impatiently in response. I finally want to have him inside of me. ,,Minho" I press out, at the edge of crying, whereupon he looks down at me with an eyebrow raised. Isn't finish to prove his love for my legs. ,,Please. Minho"my half opened eyes burn thru his deep ones.,,Fuck me, Minho. I want you inside of me" Im used to talk like that to get what i want, just how he likes it. And Minho has to hold back a growl at the sight. I looked too delicious. He'd like to pounce on me and stick his cock in but he'll remember what he's doing this for. ' Love me 'those were my words, so he followed my wish.
Minho's thrusts weren't quick as they usually were. But even deeper than before, which is why I couldn't silence my mouth at all. This time he hit every right angle so that I not only saw stars but pure fireworks. I swam in my pleasure. I only heard his voice whispering and talking in the edge. And now I had again the man in front of me, who could whisper with his sharp tongue at the same time the thrilling words that I love so much. Holy crap, he drives me fucking crazy.
And it got worse and harder to keep my sounds to the minimum when he suddenly hit a spot which drive me to let a high, embarrassing sound fall out of my mouth. ,, i found it "he grins as my mouth pouts open and i just look more fucked up than before. As soon as he found it, he hit the right spot over and over with every push.
He makes me feel things that I would never have believed existed. I would never have guessed that they existed. But Minho did that over and over again, just as he always did. And that without even trying.
And just from Minho's fixed eyes, which lay on me and look at each of my movements with pure fascination, I am sure that I have the same effect on him as he has on me.
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Oh my holy liminho. I can't believe that i finally post something but guess what,..... i did hihihuuuu.
I hope you enjoy my story. I really tried to write it good as possible. Also, i hope my english doesnt suck here since it's not my best language.
Whatever. Enjoy and see you next time.
Byoo
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gracesami · 3 years
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Crashing into a beautiful mess but i still wasn't good enough
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gracesami · 3 years
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You were the place. The place where my love awoke and disappeared with feelings crashing in a gentle brutal way into on another. And so now ...I don't know what happened first.
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gracesami · 3 years
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It should be fine. In normal days it would have been fine. It should be enough to endure. Enough to endure and go through it like every other, following day. So why. Why wasn't today a normal day? What was different from the day so that I am here now. What made that day leave me alone with the pain and loneliness that builds up in me again. Today. Today was not a normal day. And that's it.
Nothing but sweet Nothings
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gracesami · 3 years
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Let's start a new chapter
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