gray-and-dainty

[gray-and-dainty]

Guys I’ve been slacking in my diet …

I feel huge. I know I’ve lost like -15 lbs but I just still don’t feel like it’s enough. I’m about 5’4 and 130 Lbs. I wanna be about 120 - 115 now. I gotta keep up my diet and workout. I don’t wanna look huge for my acting classes.

My plans/goals for the next couple of weeks are

- passing my cna classes

- getting into phlebotomist classes

- signing up for acting classes and creating a brand/becoming an influencer, modeling

- losing weight (115lbs)

- secure online school

- owning my new job

- getting into real estate

Just wanna be rich skinny and famous 💕🤞

#bonespø #depressing quotes #ed disorder #ed vent #i wanna lose weight #instagram body #tw ana diary #weight loss #darkcore #emo grunge

[gray-and-dainty]

I just feel like nothing I’m doing is working. I know I lost 10-15lbs since January, but no one has said ANYTHING! I’m drowning in school work (I’m attending 2 schools for nursing), in bills, in my mental health, I have no job right now cause no one wants to hire me for without my certification. I just feel so hopeless for the past few nights

I worked out my legs and LITERALLY couldn’t sleep from the soreness and had to use my bed frame to help me turn into only specific positions. Positive note, I know my work out was “good” I guess. I will be working out my arms today so it’s only a matter of time till my arms hurt … IM IN SO MUCH PAIN. And I don’t even know if it’s all gonna be worth it in the end. All I’ve been doing is trusting the process since the start of this new year.

Did I also say I have a breast reduction surgery coming up ? That’s why I’ve been trying to lose weight to begin with, so I can just stay one size (fit and skinny) my whole life. My boobs are huge and saggy still from losing -40lbs :(((. I fucking hate myself. I LITERALLY lost the weight to only having to end up doing surgery anyways … like wtf ihmsfm. Explain how that works?? I haven’t gone down a single size, they just sagged 🙃..

So my head is spinning like a mf. Out of all this I wanna become a nurse influencer and personal trainer. I want those abs, I want those followers, I wanna become beautiful and THAT girl.

I’m doing everything I can…

And I still don’t feel good enough 😔💔. I feel broken and just ranting in her makes me feel better.

#ed disorder #tw ana diary #i wanna lose weight #bonespø #weight loss #instagram body #depressing quotes #ed vent

[gray-and-dainty]

[gray-and-dainty]

Zaraz wakacje - zacznij w końcu coś robic

Chyba chcesz mieć piękne nogi, prawda? Chcesz żeby wszyscy na ciebie patrzyli z zazdrością, tak? Chcesz być zauważona, mam rację?

Weź się do roboty

[gray-and-dainty]

starving for her<333

[gray-and-dainty]

I’m so sad.

He left me for a skinner girl and posted a viral video of her in the bedroom only for my family, friends, and everyone to see it …

I wanna be skinny already. This shit is NOT FAIR. He’s the one who cheated on me, I should be the TikTok star, not them. They just dance. I’m literally a whole nurse :/. I have to keep going in my diet. I said 500 calories a day until I'm 88lbs and then i will gain followings based on my inspo and the cute videos i post.

This guy literally has almost 10 million tiktok followers. I can climb high. If I get thin enough and post viral content. Ill make whole internet think something is wrong with me, and then do mukbangs just to prove i eat ! i have a whole plan based off this new body i need. They will BEG ME to post them once im done lol.

ill make a plan to get his page back and post content, when in reality, after all the emotional abuse ive been dealing with, Ill tell all my followers what he's really done to me and take him and his friends reputations OUT. They are horrible people that don't care about overs and try and people who stand out and are a threat DOWN.

Lol little bitch started a war little did he know. i will become super thin, get all the brand deals and sponsorships and make my way to the top. they will eat my dust 2024.

I wanna take my acting/singing career serious. And thin people are the only ones on tv not fatties. I know with my looks, power, and talent, I will get away with finding casting roles that will turn me into a superstar especially with this new body. There’s no way in hell I won’t win. My face says Hollywood and my body will say the internet. I have such a beautiful classical beauty to me. There’s no way I can lose. I stand out from so many girls and so talented. I need just to be patient with this diet. All will show.

im about 140lbs right now weigh in day is today, so this might change.

ive been eating 500cal for about 3 weeks (I need this diet until June/july 2024) and its been ok but hard asf. I’ve been omad-ing it all the way through really.

I’m excited for the results of the overall efforts. I will have my dainty, dainty body 💕 I will have my cheaters revenge and help so many people. I can’t wait to brake the internet and hope no one knows or finds this post when I’m famous 😂😂😂💀💀

#bonespø #i wanna lose weight #weight loss #instagram body #depressing quotes #darkcore #emo grunge #tw ana diary #ed disorder #ed vent

[gray-and-dainty]

[gray-and-dainty]

⭐️ visualisations ⭐️

I wake up at 5am. I take my medications, wash my face, and brush my teeth. Time for breakfast ☺️ Here are my pajama options:

I choose the set on the right. Cute! I have breakfast, and go upstairs to get changed for my morning beach walk. It’s a little overcast, might wear something a little warm. Hmmm… option a or b?

I decided on option a (the pink one). I put on my morning walk playlist and walked along the water. It was so pretty watching the sun rise! I head back home, shower, and get ready to study. It’s now 7am.

I like studying in the living room of my share house, it’s nice to see my roommates walk in and out and chat to them ☺️ What will I wear?

I choose option b (the white one). I begin studying, and sip on my iced water while I open my notion study dashboard. I hear ‘R’ (my crush) come downstairs.

‘Hey R :)’

‘Hey bella :) do you want to go out tonight for drinks? S and C are coming too.’

‘Definitely! Sounds fun ☺️’

Omg… I have to choose the perfect outfit. But not right now. Got to keep studying!

After a long bout of writing, I decide it’s time for a quick grocery stock up. The shops are near by, and a little walk and shop will be a nice break from staring at my laptop. It’s so nice outside! What to wear…

I pick option a (pink top). This is so cute! I put on my headphones and play my summer playlist. I bring a little white tote bag, and buy eggs, Greek yoghurt, tofu, and a little white nail polish. I walk back home and unpack my groceries.

Now it’s time to get ready for tonight ⭐️ I head upstairs to my room. Time to choose my outfit… hmmm… what can I wear to make R fall in love with me? Let’s see -

I choose option a (little black dress). This is so cute 😌 I pair it with bold makeup, and pastel purple eyeshadow. Hopefully the eyeshadow is enough to signal to everyone that I’m a little fruity 🌈 I paint my nails white, put on my platform sneakers and head downstairs, where R, S, and C are pre gaming.

R looks at me, and stares a second too long at my chest. She quickly looks away when she notices I’m still looking at her. S and C look at my dress too, and say hello to me.

I’m so excited to go out ☺️ If R doesn’t end up making out with me tonight, someone will. I look stunning.

[gray-and-dainty]

this could be you if you would stop STUFFING YOUR FAT FACE.

[gray-and-dainty]

my ed loves this woman

[gray-and-dainty]

This js my thinspo

[gray-and-dainty]

Meanspö for me only if it helps you then by all means❤️

seriously? just like that? thinking about food again you disgusting fuck? obviously because that's what you'll always look to for comfort. you need to quit that shit, you can feel the fat on your bones so why try and think that a fucking sandwich will help??

i don't care what you have to do to be skinny, starve yourself for real. you know you love that empty feeling in your stomach and the feel for control so why waste it? just smoke a cigarette or puff your vape or something to keep that shit down. you will amount to nothing. less than nothing if you keep eating like you do. go drink some warm water. it will feel just the same, yeah? so then stop fucking eating.

you know how others make you feel about your weight, and they are right. you are nothing but a blubbery looking whale/pig inbred monster. look at your thighs! look at your stomach🤮🤮🤮 obviously you should put down that donut or whatever you piggies like to eat and drink some green tea or something. fücking try because by the looks of it you haven't changed at all. you want to become skinny? WORK FOR IT. you want a thigh gap? WORK FOR IT. you want a flat stomach? FUCKING. WORK. FOR. IT. if you seriously can't work out, which won't surprise me speaking of how flabby and lard-like you are, do some yoga or something. rock back in forth in your seat for all i care. keep yourself fücking moving or you'll become jabba the hut in like a month.

i hope you can look in the mirror and realize how fucking worthless you are will all the weight on you. you'll never amount to anything looking like that and you know it. nobody will want to talk to you, nobody will love you because of the shit and piss you call "lovehandles" its disgusting and putrid to look at.

so keep on eating if that's what you want. you'll just be everyone's fatspö in the end. they will all make fun of u, hopefully even bully you to the point where you actually WANT to change in the end. because that's what you'll be. nothing but a tub of mucus, fat, and lard.

but if you want to change, WORK FOR IT. it's not as hard as everyone says. don't go near the kitchen and if you do, be strong and have willpower to not eat a fucking sandwich. drink some water or some green tea. like seriously fatty.

[gray-and-dainty]

my fav th!nspo!

[gray-and-dainty]

Rainbow couscous salad with salmon

Calories with the salmon - 535

Calories without - 310

This is a really hearty salad, it has CousCous, cucumber, tomatoes, peppers, parsley, feta cheese in it. I would recommend having a protein with it to keep you full. If you don’t like salmon you could add anything else like chicken, tuna, tofu, nuts, or prawns etc. I used a big pasta bowl so you can see just how big a portion this is for the calories.

[gray-and-dainty]

MY SAFE FOODS! with photos :)

(that aren't just rice cakes, zero noodles, and green tea !)

Snacks:

•Quaker Chewy Smore's Bars (90 cals per bar)

They're good, filling and pretty low cal! Good for sweet cravings.

•VGM Spinach Egg White Fritata (70 cals)

They're honestly great, they're small and extremely low cal for all the protein and nutrients in them. One of these plus a drink lasts me almost 4/5 of a day. (Not as big as on the box lol) They also have a lot of varients around the same amount of cals!

Meals:

• Plain English Muffin (150 cals for a whole)

These are amazing for the base of a breakfast/meal! It's 150 cals for a whole and 75 for half of one, pretty good. One of these with some scrambled/fried eggs in it is delicious and very filling. Some of the best carbs i could ever eat. (lots of variations too + a thinner lower cal version)

• Simply Fresh Premade Salads (260-300 cals)

I love these salads! So much food for so low cals and extremely filling!!! No joke. I like the Sante Fe Salad (lowest cal) and so yummy. Definitely recommend.

Drinks:

• V8 Energy (50-60 cals)

Oh my god. Literally so yummy and contain 80 mg of caffeine. They are delicious, my favorite flavor is the orange pineapple. There's more flavors than the ones i showed but!!

•Bai Antioxident Drink (5 Cals)

Once again there's more flavors for these drinks but, this is a photo of a few of my favorites. I like the blueberry one a lot. These drinks are so good and only 5 cals + lots of vitamins!! Another great drink.

HIIII IM BACK AFTE A YEAR TO ADD MORE!

The classic: Fiber one (60-140 cals)

so many options, they also have their own cereal

Light Yogurt: (80-150 cals)

Any light yogurt is so good, they're usually very filling. I like the light + fit brand but yoplait always has my heart for their fruit chunks.

Almond Milk: (30-80 cals)

literally in every food i make

Egg Whites: (25 cals per 3 tbsp)

Eggs whites and spinach are my staple meal for under 50 calorie meals!

KK that's it for now!!

[gray-and-dainty]

I wanna be successful

I wanna be remembered by the world and not just exist anymore... I don't think I work hard enough and with this pandemic going on, it's harder than ever. I wanna start these YouTube videos but I don't know jack shit about editing and the software is expensive af or you gotta download 7 free apps (that also take up your storage) just get it right.

Am I doing something wrong ??

I also be trying to create music/beats to practice on and even that is super fucking hard.

Maybe I'm doing something wrong

[gray-and-dainty]

Beyonce in Beverly Hills (July 24, 2003)