Aphrodite: Is something burning?
Ares, leaning seductively on the counter: Just my desire for you.
Aphrodite: Ares, the toaster is literally on fire.
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Poseidon, dramatically: They called me a fool.
Athena, sick of Poseidon's shit: They weren’t wrong.
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Zeus: I think we should kiss.
Hera: And I think you should die but we don’t always get what we want.
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Hades: Hecate, you're my best friend.
Hecate: Best friend? BEST friend?! Bitch, I'm your only friend.
Hecate: I'M THE ONLY ONE CAPABLE OF TOLERATING YOUR DUMB ASS!
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Zeus: So... what would you do if you were in bed with me?
Hera: Depends. Is your bed comfortable?
Zeus: Yes.
Hera: I'd sleep.
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Hades: We just ate. Why are you making pancakes?
Persephone: For the dogs.
Hades: Why are you making pancakes for the dogs?
Persephone: They don't know how.
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Apollo: Hermes gave me a get better soon card.
Artemis: That's sweet!
Apollo: I wasn't sick, he just think I can do better.
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Ares: And then they ran into my knife. They ran into my knife ten times.
Aphrodite: You mean you stabbed them?
Ares: They ran into my knife.
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Hades: My future partner must be brave, strong, intelligent, successful, and organized.
Persephone: *steps on a caterpillar and proceeds to drop to their knees and sob while apologizing profusely*
Hades: That one. I want that one.
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Hera: Who’s ready for Wine Wednesday?! You ladies got some catching up to do!
Amphitrite & Persephone:
Amphitrite: Hera, it’s Thursday.
Hera: …
Hera: Who’s ready for Tequila Thursday?!
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Hades: Why would you give a knife to Persephone?!
Ares, shrugging: Persephone felt unsafe.
Hades: Now I feel unsafe!
Persephone: I’m sorry…
Persephone: Would you like a knife?
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Zeus: When I was young, I left a trail of broken hearts like a rockstar. I'm not proud of it.
Hades: You're kind of proud of it. You work it into a lot of conversations.
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Hades: Every time I’m confronted with a problem and feel desperate and helpless, I look at a picture of all of us together.
Zeus & Poseidon: awww–
Hades: and I tell myself, if I can survive living with those dumbass clowns, it means I can handle every problem.
Zeus & Poseidon:
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