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Alina: Sometimes, I don't even realize an event is traumatic until I tell it as a funny story and notice everyone looking at me weird
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Inej: You know, Kaz, it's very possible you might simply be experiencing guilt. It's a human emotion where you feel bad for hurting people.
Kaz:
Kaz: No, but that's funny.
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Nina: Not all dogs are good boys.
Matthias: Blocked.
Nina: Sometimes they're good girls!
Matthias:
Matthias: Unblocked.
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Matthias: What does 'ilysm' mean?
Jesper: "I like your sick memes".
Wylan: "I love you.... slime man"???
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Nina: If you like me raise your hand.
Inej: *raises hand*
Jesper: *raises hand*
Wylan: *raises hand*
Matthias: *raises hand*
Kaz: What if i don’t like you?
Nina: Then raise your fucking standards
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David: I got caught using goggles to watch an owl.
David: It was perched above Zoya’s window and she thought I was watching her and Nikolai in bed.
David: As if their unremarkable forms could hold a candle to the glory of a Screech Owl.
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Nina: Did you eat my powdered donuts?
Jesper: *mouth full of donuts* No
Nina: Then what's that white powder on your jeans?
Jesper:
Jesper: That's cocaine.
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Jesper: What’s the expression? Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice… fiddle-dee-dee.
Nina: Fool me once, and I’ll be fooled for a day. Teach me to fool people, and I’ll be fooled for the rest of my life.
Wylan: Fool me once, fool me twice, fool me chicken soup with rice.
Nina: I do believe that's the expression.
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Kaz: Rule number one of being a criminal - you use whatever tricks and traps are necessary to stay ahead of your opponent.
Kaz: Rule number two - you never give out valuable information for nothing. Rookie move.
Kaz: Rule number three - people like us need to stick together, and teamwork is important. But if you're sure you can handle it on your own, you do it on your own.
Kaz: You got all that?
Nina: [writing down "gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss"] Yeah, I got it.
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Wylan: Why did Nina think you had a concussion??
Jesper: Oh, it turns out that confusion, headaches, not knowing what day it is, not knowing where I am, not knowing what's going on, and seeing little lights every time I stand up are all classic symptoms of a concussion.
Wylan:
Jesper: But that's just how I live my life.
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Genya: Do you need a hug? Or maybe a cup of warm tea?
Alina: No! I need to punch the Darkling in his stupid face!
Genya:
Alina: A cup of warm tea would be nice.
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Darkling: [trying to flirt] I like your name.
Alina: Thanks. I got it for my birthday.
Ivan: [whispering in his ear] Are you SURE you want this one?
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Nina: I ruined Matthias’ oven because I thought the recipe called for three and a half cups of baking powder.
Wylan:
Wylan: Yeah, that's called a bomb.
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Matthias: The path to inner peace begins with three words...
Matthias: Not. My. Problem.
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Zoya: I don't have a "resting bitch face".
Zoya: My bitch face is always on duty. Ever vigilant.
Zoya: My bitch face will rest when its work is done.
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*loud bang*
Kaz: What was that?
Wylan: Nothing!
Kaz: Then why did I hear it?
Wylan:
Wylan: It--it was a very loud nothing??
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Matthias: You killed this man?!
Nina: Actually, I believe he died of natural causes.
Inej: [nods] Knife to the neck.
Matthias: How is that "natural causes"?!
Nina: There's nothing more natural than dying from a knife to the neck.
Inej: What would be unnatural is if he survived.
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