hajihoe

[hajihoe]

Rhysand and Benevolent Sexism

So, we were talking with @verifiefangirl and we started talking about Benevolent Sexism and how it’s somehow worse than Hostile Sexism and how that made her think of ACOFAS/ Rhys. But before I start sharing my thoughts with you, I want you to know that you can reblog and add whatever you want and analyse everything a bit further because I’ll stay superficial. You can share your own thoughts with me and tell me how right/wrong I am and I’d really appreciate that, as long as you stay polite and friendly. I’m by all means not here to tell you how to think or what to say, just please, again, stay kind. And this may be confusing, because my thoughts are all over the place, I hope you’ll understand what I mean. I still like Acofas-Rhys a bit but I’ll love Acomaf Rhys until the day I die.

What is Benevolent Sexism? - A short description:

We have Hostile and Benevolent Sexism. Hostile Sexism says, that it’s a Woman’s job to clean the house or to look after children. People, who say that a Man has to be above a Woman, that it’s okay for him to earn more money. Men, who show anger just because they’re challenged - their ego is challenged. They think for example that a Woman is trying to gain “power” by using her sex, that they try to control Men. They’re often called “Sluts” or “Whores” for saying “No” to a Man who advances them in a sexual way.

Then there’s Benevolent Sexism. This is not really like Hostile Sexism and it’s not about insulting in the first place. It’s taking those stereotypes and making them okay, praising them. And it’s also about holding Women on a pedestal and thinking they’re better than Men. Some examples: Man sets Woman on pedestal, Women are pure unlike Men, they’re better Leaders because they’re stronger and better as Men, etc. And when Women don’t match the image they have in mind, then those Men tend to be aggressive and despise them.

What does that have to do with Rhysand?

We all know how much Rhysand loves and adores Feyre. He’s practically holding her on a high pedestal and she’s the perfect Woman in his eyes. She’s good, she’s caring and fits into the stereotype he has of a Woman.

We call/ed him a Feminist, but look at him hating Nesta. A Woman, who could be a Leader. Who’s too “harsh”, too “bossy” and doesn’t fit into the image he has of a Woman who deserves to “stand on a pedestal”. Nesta’s nothing like Feyre. They’re sisters, but different. And Rhys reacts in a harsh and kind of aggressive way towards her. He hates her, not only because she was mean to Feyre, because if that were the point then he’d also be mean to Elain. So this whole thing, his temper and hate, is not only because she was mean to Feyre, it’s because he’s a Positive Sexist. Rhysand is nice to Elain, because “Elain is Elain.” She’s nice and kind. She fits into the Inner Circle perfectly. She adapts, cooks for them, talks to them and acts like a Woman (in his eyes) “should” act, that’s what makes her so “amazing” and kind of makes her deserve his kindness. Just like Feyre she got used to the IC, she meets his standards and is held on hands, even though she didn’t care for Feyre at all - just like Nesta. The Woman, who doesn’t do these things and avoids being a part of the Group. And Rhys just can’t deal with it.

Then we have Cassian, who didn’t really acknowledge Nesta. He sees her, he’s watching, but what about talking to her when she’s with the IC? When he’s alone with her he talks and cares, but with them he’s different and reserved, regarding her. We see that to Solstice, when Nesta’s in the room and he doesn’t reach out to her until she leaves and he follows.

Cassian for example can’t hold Nesta on a pedestal. Because he never had a real Mother Figure in his life to compare a Woman to. He doesn’t really know how a Woman should be to be held high above a Man. So I could say that he’s standing on the same ground as Nesta, they’re more like equals than Feyre and Rhys. When he looks at her he sees her pain, he sees her suffering just like he did and does. Even if it’s in a different way. He sees a Woman who’s not accepted, just like him. A bastard people spit on and ostracize. He kind of sees himself. She’s been pushed away the way he is/was pushed away. He knows how she feels and doesn’t praise her despite her flaws, the way Rhysand does with Feyre.

Rhys had a Mother. An amazing Mother, who created (dresses), took 2 bastard born Illyrians into her home. A Woman who cared and gave. And then there’s Feyre, a Woman who also creates, cares and gives. She fits more into his mental image than Nesta ever could, because she’s the opposite of what he’s used to praise, to compliment. And he shows his hate and rage towards her, just like a Benevolent Sexist would do.

I can’t really call Acofas-Rhys a Feminist, because in my opinion he’s more of a Positive Sexist than a Feminist. I’d rather call Acofas-Cassian more of a Feminist than Rhys.