hamburgertomyhelper

[hamburgertomyhelper]

I feel like I'm not a real person.

For many years now I've felt like I don't even really exist, or at the bare minimum I'm not really a person.

I'm a prisoner physically and mentally to myself. I can't take care of myself at all, If it wasn't for the fact I live with my mother I'd be dead already. I almost never shower, I don't brush my teeth, my teeth are falling apart, my health is deteriorating mentally and physically. I think about suicide everyday, or at least getting terminally ill and dying so I don't have to disappoint anyone with my suicide.

I sit in my room alone for 16+ hours a day and sleep the rest, I don't have any friends, no one talks to me. I leave my house MAYBE 10 times a year on a good year, and that's typically only for emergencys where I don't have much of a choice. I hate myself and I hate my body, I had a tinder and after 5+ years the only 2 matches I had ever recieved are a prostitute and a bot. Not that I blame anyone, I'm fat and ugly, I have no job, no future, no dreams, no aspirations.

I see all these happy and successful people online, or even that I grew up with/went to school with and I'm so incredibly jealous, because I know I will never be able to have any of that. My entire life is basically "Can't because I'm depressed, depressed because I can't." I've basically given up because I've lost so much time at this point and found so much comfort in just existing at a bare minimum that I can't change anything and honestly 99% of the time I have no interest in getting better.

I'm just truly miserable and its getting harder and harder to handle.

Everyday when my mom leaves for work, I have thoughts of putting an "I'm sorry, and Thank you for everything. There's nothing you could of done." sticky note on the TV in the living room and hanging myself in the back yard.

#ugly #fat #loser #pathetic #disgusting #no friends #tired #sick #death #kill myself #suicide #suicidal #depression #depressing

[hamburgertomyhelper]

Would you like for me to stop sending unsolicited advice/info?

I mean you can do what you want id prefer it in messenger tho

[hamburgertomyhelper]

I’m leaving the name anyway. There’s a free sample available through Spotify or Audible too. Even if you can’t get out of bed you can close your eyes and listen. Life in five senses by Gretchen Rubin.

Thanks

[hamburgertomyhelper]

It’s not easy to change the way you think of things but if you’re interested or willing I know of a book that discusses using sensory techniques to improve overall quality of life. It seems like you have a tendency to perseverate on the negatives in life.

I dont have the attentionspan nor want to read something sorry

[hamburgertomyhelper]

Are you fat?

Yeah

[hamburgertomyhelper]

How would you like for things to be different/what would you like to change in your life if anything?

my willingness to change it

[hamburgertomyhelper]

Do you wear glasses?

i do

[hamburgertomyhelper]

So you feel depressed but are at this time unwilling to make any changes to your life?

yea

[hamburgertomyhelper]

Are you balding?

yea

[hamburgertomyhelper]

My life is meaningless. What kind of 28 year old can't even leave their house? I have no dreams, no aspirations, no goals. I literally just exist.

#sad #alone #worthless #hopeless #pathetic #disgusting #depressed #suicide #suicidal #depression #kill myself

[hamburgertomyhelper]

God, I can never do anything right :). I hope something happens soon and I stop living.

#sad #alone #ugly #fat #loser #worthless #hopeless #useless #pathetic #disgusting #suicide #kill myself #death #depressed #depression

[hamburgertomyhelper]

What’s the worst thing you’ve lived through?

I dunno, my adult years so far lol.

[hamburgertomyhelper]

Dont die, i like knowing that you are alive. ps. i miss u.

Thanks stranger

[hamburgertomyhelper]

Strong urges to hang myself in the backyard when my mom goes to work everyday, wish I could just get sick enough to pass away that way It'd be easier on her than my killing myself

#worthless #hopeless #useless #pathetic #disgusting #depressed #kill myself #death #suicide #suicidal

[hamburgertomyhelper]

Are you cute?

Not at all

[hamburgertomyhelper]

have you ever considered medication or currently take anything for your depression, suicidal thoughts, etc.? sorry if that’s too straightforward

I was on antidepressants for a bit but they made me feel really weird, so I went to the doctor to get them changed/try a different brand and the doctor told me I wasn't depressed I was "Fat and lazy" so I havent really been back to a doctor since then *that was like 2015*

[hamburgertomyhelper]

Are u trans?

no