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Buck: "I told Maddie how I sometimes stare at guys asses and apparently that's not something straight men do?"

Eddie: *eyes widen* "It isn't??"

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I just started actually watching 9-1-1 (before that I just saw snippets of it, especially buddie, on Tiktok) and holy sh*t every one said that Eddie baby trapped Buck...

but the only thing Eddie did was to provide Chris and Buck happily built, entered and locked the trap

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Buck calling himself an "ally"

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Chimney: I heard from a little birdie that Buck broke up with his girlfriend. Again. Hen: Want to bet how long it takes before Eddie also "mysteriously" breaks up with his girlfriend? Chimney, considering: Hmm, two weeks? Hen: So much faith, yet so wrong. He won't even last a week - he's already gone back to staring.

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"wow my dash is so violent today!!!... Oh wait it's March"

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please fucking vote

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incorrect 911 quotes part idk

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Eddie: If you walk out of the door that is the end of this relationship!

Buck: Fine!

Buck: *Climbs out the window*

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(During the lawsuit)

Eddie: I swear I'm going to fucking kill buck

Hen: ok, imagine a world without him

Eddie: [tearing up] why would you-

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the crushing guilt of being unproductive vs the exhaustion of being burned out. fight.

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Eddie: I don't really like people, but you're okay, I guess.

Buck: I'm your husband, Eddie...

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Genie: Are you sure you want your last wish to be punching Buck's dad in the face for the third time?

Eddie: *rolling up his sleeves* Absolutely.

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*A random BBQ party at Athena's* Buck showing up in a crop top: Hey, guys! Hope you don't mind the fit, it's kind of been scorching hot the past week — Eddie, wheezing: I'm so fucking gay. May: Good for you. Now pass me the hot sauce.

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when I read good omens I fully interpreted ineffable husbands as an asexual couple because like.... they're supernatural beings that don't really jibe with human sex

but in the show they have so much sexual tension and I think that's because Michael Sheen always looks like he's ready to jump David Tennent's bones at any given moment and he's so real for that

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Jesper: Kaz said he has some news from Hellgate about Van Eck

Wylan: Ugh, what does that human blister want now? To berate me further? Or perhaps to inform me of my impending painful death under his orders?

Inej: Its possible the news wont involve you, dont worry

Wylan: Good thinking, you’re right. Maybe my father wants to finally inform us all that hes a Chuksin

Jesper: A what?

Wylan: A Chuksin, its a Korean toilet ghost. It lives in an outhouse and strangles you to death with its hair

Jesper: You know what, I will give in and let you take apart my guns if the news is hes a Chuksin

Kaz: *enters room* Okay everyone, announcement from Hellgate this morning

Wylan: That my father is a Korean toilet ghost? Boooring, we already knew that

Kaz; Jan Van Eck is dead

Wylan: Say what now?

Inej; Van Eck is dead? Truely?

Kaz: The warden confirmed it this morning

Jesper: Wy-

Wylan: Ha! Thats not true, like what my father said when he saw deodorant - Im not buying it

Nina: *Cackles*

Kaz: I assure you the intel is good. He’s dead

Wylan: Oh Kaz, zombies cant die. This is some sort of scam, if he were dead we would be hearing the sound of children singing in the streets

Matthias: Is this how the Kerch grieve?

Nina: *Shakes head*

Kaz: Why would Van Eck fake his own death? Solidifying your inheritance of everything

Wylan: Same reason he visits Ravka once a year to suck the blood from all the goats - for kicks

Jesper: Not the goats

Kaz: I dont know what to tell you, but hes dead. What do you want? To open up his coffin and check for yourself?

Wylan: *standing over Van Ecks coffin checking for himself* Oh damn

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Nina: *peeling a banana* May I take your jacket off, sir? Hahahaha.

Kaz: Do you think other people can’t hear you?