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happyhenrye · 4 years
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Quail, the true gender nonconformist allies.
(Get it? Because plumage patterns relating to sex can be pretty ambiguous sometimes? I know, I have niche humor.)
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happyhenrye · 4 years
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Me: Time to study! Let’s do this!
Brain: I’m tired; let’s take a nap.
Me: I’ll do you one better. Let’s have coffee so we can focus!
Brain: I’m bored; I want to look at memes.
Me: Sorry, the phone is all the way across the room, and I know you don’t wanna get up.
Brain: Man you’re really motivated today. It would be a shame if you, couldn’t achieve your goals for that assignment even if you studied really hard. I’m sure it wouldn’t happen, but doesn’t the thought of inadequacy make you.... ANXIOUS?
Me: *trying not to panic* G-good one there, buddy.
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happyhenrye · 4 years
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I saw a yellow warbler while volunteering today and learned that it’s species name abbreviation for banding paperwork is “YEWA”. My Texas brain was instantly possessed by this image and nothing else, so you have to see it, too.
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happyhenrye · 4 years
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My stomach empty... WHEAT!
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happyhenrye · 4 years
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Ah yes, the two genders: Bros and [Redacted]
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happyhenrye · 4 years
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I’m dropping out of college to become the local cryptid.
Toodles!
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happyhenrye · 4 years
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*fists on table* LET BIGFOOT LIVE! LET BIGFOOT LIVE! LET BIGFOOT LIVE!
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happyhenrye · 4 years
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we drink boba tea to satisfy our ancient & innate urge to slurp up tadpoles from a puddle through a reed
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happyhenrye · 4 years
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Consider:
Lycanthropy, but after someone is bitten, they turn into a mascot whenever sports are mentioned.
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happyhenrye · 4 years
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happyhenrye · 4 years
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College Students: I would like to possess....coin?
Universities:
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happyhenrye · 4 years
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Top 5 Places Where Reality is Altered
Airports before 6am
Walmart after 10pm
Waiting rooms at the Doctor’s
Any government building
The small bathroom at my local ice cream shop
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