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Family is complicated
I’ve never had an easy family life, and it’s ruined me emotionally, but finally coming to the age and mental standing where I can just block the negative from my life is a godsend. I hope everyone can get to that stage some day. It’s refreshing.
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My heart hurts and I’m very tired.
Not every day is a good day but that is ok.
Ups and downs are normal in life.
I can’t wait to be fully happy again.
Life is hard, but that makes it memorable, I guess.
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I have a lot to thank my daughter for
As my pregnancy comes to an end, I’ve noticed I’ve become a more thoughtful person. A stronger person. My heart still has pain in it but it isn’t as important anymore. I have anger, but it subsides much faster (whether or not it’s just as putrid).
I’m not the person that happily fought anyone that looked at me wrong anymore.
I’m not the person that chooses myself over others anymore.
I know that today might suck, but tomorrow has the chance to be better.
I know I have my happiness in my hand, and that I don’t have to fix someone else’s problems to make my life easier. Sometimes a person just wants to be unhappy.
She’s made me think deeply, and I try to keep my mind open moreso each and every day so that I can show her the world is a lot better than I was taught. I grew up knowing the real world was shit. I want her to grow up knowing it doesn’t have to be.
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Having no blood-related family at all is better than having all the blood-related family in the world if they treat you like nothing but trash.
You don’t have to be blood to be family. Create bonds that will bring you strength, DONT hold on to ones that will break you, simply because you were born with them.
Heard a saying that was supposed to be the original of “Blood is thicker than water.” That goes “The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.”
Don’t know if it’s true or not but I like it.
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No one will know the violence it took to become this gentle.
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It’s kind of funny what weird situations you’ll be in when you hear something that warms your heart up a little.
Like yesterday night, I went to the bathroom before dinner and overheard my SO talking to my grandmother and having a genuinely enjoyable conversation. His voice fluctuating as he made different points and laughed.
Just knowing how broken he’s been, and hearing that, let’s me know he’s healing and he’s a little happier. That the happiness I see when I’m around isn’t a facade put on for me, that it’s genuine happiness.
Makes me appreciate the small moments a bit more, even if I’m sitting on the toilet smiling like an idiot.
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