heaven-in-a-wild-flower

[heaven-in-a-wild-flower]

Hey everyone, just wanted to ask you guys to sign this petition if you're interested in seeing a season 3 of Shadow and Bone and a spinoff too.

#sixofcrows #six of crows #kaz brekker #jesper fahey #inej ghafa #soc #matthias helvar #wylan van eck #nina zenik #shadow and bone #grishaverse

[heaven-in-a-wild-flower]

The Great Hypocrisy

They always expect me to explain something that they don’t know themselves. Sexual attraction. How can I explain the absence of it if you can’t explain the presence? Why is it so impossible, so improbable, so difficult to believe that it might just not be there? It’s better when they ask than when they make incorrect assumptions about it, but it hurts so much to have to explain at all. It feels like tearing a part of me and folding it into a shape they’ll enjoy and presenting it like a creation of origami. Nobody else has to explain what they might or might not feel, why should I? A gay man does not have to explain how he doesn’t feel attraction to women. A straight woman does not have to explain how she doesn’t feel attraction to women. Why should I? But what is the alternative? To refuse to explain? Then they would continue with their incorrect assumptions and it would be my fault. They might not believe it is real and then I’ll have been complicit in the next they invalidate. They would become more bigoted and it’ll weigh on me to have added more bad into the world.

I cannot understand how they think it’s even possible for it not to be real. Why would I, why would anyone make such a thing up? If sex is indeed so wonderful, so pleasurable as they all claim it is, why would I deny it to myself? If sexual attraction is so natural, so universal, why would I have trouble finding it within myself? How can they not understand how incomprehensible it is that most of the world places more value in putting two people’s body parts together than anything else? How could that be the most intimate thing? Why does anyone think they could possibly know me, understand me better than I would? If you can’t explain how sexual attraction feels, how do you expect me to explain how it doesn’t feel? Why should I be the one researching it so I can explain it to others, so they won’t make me feel a fraud? Why can’t you accept it when I tell you and search it up if you don’t understand? Why does it matter so much to you at all, even if you don’t understand? Why can’t I just be? Why do I have to be some puzzle for you to solve and to keep trying until you’ve solved it or established it to be missing some pieces?

Love is just so difficult to find while being ace. Romantic love, especially. It feels like a secret if you don’t tell them you’re ace. And then you do and then it feels like you’ve disappointed them. Like you’ve added some unnecessary burden. And then it doesn’t work and it feels entirely attributable to your being ace. And then every thought as you overthink it in your head begins with the phrase “if I weren’t ace”. Even if they say they’re okay with it, how could you know for sure? How do you ever know? How to stop feeling like you’re denying them something? How much compromise is too much? Is the only solution dating only ace people?

It's not even just difficult with romantic love, it’s difficult even with platonic love. Friendship is a concept I take so seriously. I hold it reverently in my hands like a beautiful precious flower. But others don’t see it that way. People see friends as placeholders until they find romantic partners. They see them as an easy way to while away time, easy companionship. They see friendship as some second prize consolation award to romantic love. How could they ever reduce love to something so small, so pathetic? How could I trust in their friendship when they seem to always see it second to romantic love? How can I have friends if I have to always be worried that one day, they will find a partner and leave me in the dust? And if they believe that relationships without sexual attraction have no value or have reduced value, how could I ever have a relationship with any of them? Am I then again forced only to find ace people, to date and to be friends with?

They never truly want to understand. They merely want it to fit the boundaries of reason they have in their mind, they want it to fit within the walls of what they know. They don’t want to admit that their basics must be wrong. That the structure they built this house on, cannot accommodate a terrace but that that doesn’t mean terraces aren’t real. They want you to make it make sense, but if you do, if you ever try, they try to change your mind and to tweak your explanation until it is utterly unrecognizable and fits within their expectations. You’re traumatised or scared or lying or some explanation that makes sense to them. They want you to explain but they never can and never will. And that is the great hypocrisy.

#ace #ace awareness #ace pride #asexual #queer #asexuality #aspec pride #aspec positivity #international asexuality day

[heaven-in-a-wild-flower]

Jurdan Headcanon (Jude Duarte and Cardan Greenbriar)

I’ve also published this on ao3 if you’d rather read it there, here’s the link. I’m making this a full series (Cardan in the Mortal World).

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 2.5

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Previous Chapter (Chapter 6)

Chapter 7

Jude's POV

Yesterday, Vivi and Heather made a plan to go to the beach and insisted that we take Cardan and Oak as well. So, here goes.

Cardan's POV

This is a completely and utterly undignified method of travel. Vivienne, Heather (what an absurd mortal name), Oak, Jude and I are in this carriage-like contraption they call a Subaru. Heather is riding this metal monstrosity and Vivienne is assisting her with directions from a seer inside her mobile that calls itself Google Maps. However, the most undignified aspect is that Oak, Jude and I are sitting at the back and I cannot even sit next to my queen. Oak is holding some balm to protect one from the sun (Heather has instructed that all of us must administer it upon our skin to protect it), human skin is so fragile.

The carriage is full of sound from the front playing some ungodly screeching made by a group of humans who call themselves 'My Chemical Romance'. I cannot imagine how these three men were romanced by chemicals (I reckon it could be a love potion?), my romance is entirely natural. I can imagine if Jude were to hear this she would roll her eyes (she is extremely skilled at this due to all her practice, how proud I am of my wife's ocular dexterity) and say that no one would call it a natural romance to be forced into marriage by circumstance. The only respite is the cool air that I can only conclude is being created by ice pixies' breath who are being enslaved by this 'Subaru'.

"Might we please change this music? I can take no more of this." Both Jude and Heather give me appalled looks. I cannot imagine how they enjoy this. (My queen does enjoy torturing others, so this music must remind her of it). Vivienne merely laughs and changes the music with a turn of a knob.

"We were both young when I first saw you I close my eyes and the flashback starts...”

This music is strangely soothing and remarkably reminiscent of Jude and my meeting. I was neither in a balcony nor was it summer when I first met Jude but there were many parties when I would seek her out merely to see her (I couldn’t control my angst and idiocy and subjected her to many a taunt but perhaps that’s the beauty of our story). I certainly wanted her to be my princess but now, she is my queen. The mere thought makes my heart convulse like a chained beast. I look over at her. Her dark hair was pinned up expertly on her head. Her jade eyes met my gaze with a look even I (an expert in everything pertaining to Jude) could not interpret. She frowns and tilts her head and I cannot stand for her face to be frowning so I lean forward and kiss her cheek gently. I am pleased to see a blush upon her face immediately.

“Who is the composer of this marvellous music?” I enquire.

“Taylor Swift,” Vivienne answers. Huh, must certainly be a talented lady. Expert at swiftly tailoring clothes and creating music? I would like to bring her to Elfhame to sing for me nightly, although I am certain the mortals would object. Maybe love is making me soft, but I shall be merciful and allow this tailor to remain here in the mortal world so that they can have at least this one magical thing.

We finally reach the beach and I am surprised to see so many mortals here roasting themselves in the sun. They have however used their mortal ingenuity to create umbrellas to protect themselves from it. It is odd that they wear as little clothing as possible and then slather their exposed skin in balm to protect it, I will never understand mortals, I have given up in this futile endeavour.

Heather lays out our supplies, a mat for us to sit on, some books, tools for Oak to create monuments out of sand and towels to dry ourselves once we return from the water. Oak gets to work immediately, digging furiously at the sand. Heather and Vivienne apply the sun protection balm upon each other and now that I see them do it, I can see the appeal even though my skin certainly does not require it.

“Jude, my queen, would you like the sun protection balm?”

“Oh, yes, thank you.” She replies and takes it from my hand and quickly rubs it over her skin.

“My darling god, my sweet villain, I do not believe you are following the best technique. Might I show you?” She narrows her eyes. She is not a fan of criticism but I believe in this regard, I can change her mind. (If her soft sighs as I administered the balm were any indication, I did change her mind.)

However, competitive minx that she is, and not to be outdone, she declares that it is her turn. She quickly shoves me onto the mat and administers the balm upon my back. I do not know whether the balm is meant to soothe but I can guarantee that her hands were utterly soothing. She kisses my neck gently after she is done. I have always felt love to be a great battle. First, I fought against it in myself, then I fought for it to make Jude my queen. Now, however, perhaps I have won the battle, but love feels undemanding. I believed love was the battle fought to convince someone that it is worth it, that you are worth it. But love can be a kiss upon your neck after providing protection not needed.

Jude's POV

He looks peaceful and it is a gift I didn’t know I’d ever want but it makes me so indescribably happy, I could probably sing songs right now (I’m embarrassed by myself). I quickly pull my hands back and run to the ocean to cool my flaming face. Cardan follows and looks so adorable (I can’t believe I used that word) in his pineapple beach trunks that I simply have to tackle him into the water.

“I do not know if you are attempting to drown me or are showing affection, but I will accept either at your hand.”

“Oh, shut up and kiss me.”

“I would not dare to refuse you, but is it of concern that I can feel something latching onto my feet?”

“What the-” I quickly swim down and swat away the crab from his feet.

“Oh, my hero, what would I do without you to protect me from unnamed sea creatures?” Cardan says smirking lightly.

“Again, just shut up and kiss me.” He does.

Cardan's POV

Beaches are very exciting places. On one end, people are building royal palaces with the sand. On the other, there are people (including Jude and Heather) who are fighting with some people using a battle strategy Heather called ‘Beachball’ (It seems impossible that this strategy could injure anybody but I suppose with how fragile mortal bodies are, it is possible that this is one of their weaknesses). Jude is remarkable at this strategy and seems to be defeating all the others. I am enjoying the view, I love watching my queen in battle, when I am distracted by a beeping sound.

To our left (mine and Oak’s, whom I am watching over in case some mortal dares to attempt to abduct him), is a man with a metal contraption seeming to extract something from the sand.

He sees me watching and smiles, “Hey man, wanna join me in looking for some gold?” I must still exude an aura of royalty despite my pineapple-printed attire if he is offering me gold.

“I accept your offer.”

“That’s great, man! Let’s do this.” He offers his hand to me and I take it and stand up.

“How does this contraption function?”

“Ah! The Extra Powerful Metal Detector 2000 generates an electromagnetic field through a coil of wire. When this field encounters a metal object, such as gold, it induces a secondary magnetic field in the metal, disrupting the electromagnetic balance in the detector's coil. It’ll then beep and we’ll know we’ve found gold!” He explains enthusiastically, hands waving around madly nearly impaling me with the contraption. I understand very little of his explanation but I nod as I do when my treasurer is explaining the intricacies of our remaining riches and how he proposes to use them.

Suddenly, the machine begins to beep quite loudly.

“Man! I think we’ve got it!” Let’s start digging. I would not normally lower myself to the task of digging sand however his excitement must be infectious and I too take a shovel and dig alongside him. Our shovels both hit some metal and our eyes widen.

He quickly pulls it out with his hand and it is merely a can.

“How dare you trick me so! This contraption does not detect gold and I do not appreciate being deceived.”

“Aw, man! I’m sorry dude. The machine detects metal not always gold. But we’ll definitely find gold if we keep at it. Don’t be disappointed. I’m sure your girlfriend will love it if you gift her with a pretty ring, let’s keep looking, my man!” His explanation calms me down and I correct him that Jude is my wife but yes, she would probably appreciate a gold ring.

Jude's POV

Heather and I are pretty sweaty from that game of beachball but it was so much fun to destroy those cocky men who genuinely believed men are better than women at sports. I might’ve preferred stabbing them (I’ve pictured the full scene. I’d tell them “men are also better at spilling their intestines on the floor), but this was at least half as satisfying.

I expect Cardan to be sitting with Oak since Vivi is reading and has fallen asleep with her book on her face, but of course, he’s not there. I scan the beach and find him with some dude with a metal detector.

I go over to them and see that Cardan’s hands are covered in junk, bottle caps, pieces of jewellery and all manner of random metal pieces from the beach.

“Jude! My darling! I have tried to find you something precious from the beach but this task has been arduous and not satisfying in the least.” I laugh for a moment.

“It’s alright, come on, let’s go back.”

“Man! Looks like you already have something precious, no need to find any more, my man,” the guy says to Cardan, elbowing him and winking at him. Cardan looks surprised to have been suddenly attacked by this man but he relaxes and agrees.

While walking back to our spot, he looks concerned for a moment and says, “I hope you are not offended, my sweet villain, I did not mean for him to get such a wrong idea. I was merely looking for gold with him, I do not understand why he kept calling me his man. I am only your man and king, nobody else’s.”

I laugh so hard, I fall on the sand.

Cardan leans into my face and asks, “Are you alright, my queen?”

“Never change, Cardan. Never change.”

Tagging @jurdanhell @nee-naw-nee-naw-beepbeep

Let me know if anyone wants to be added to the tagging list (or removed).

#jurdan #jude duarte #cardan greenbriar #jude cardan #jurdan headcanons #jurdan hc #Cardan in the mortal world! #tcp #the cruel prince #tfota #the folk of the air

[heaven-in-a-wild-flower]

Jurdan Headcanon (Jude Duarte and Cardan Greenbriar)

I’ve also published this on ao3 if you’d rather read it there, here’s the link. I’m making this a full series (Cardan in the Mortal World).

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 2.5

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Previous Chapter (Chapter 5)

Cardan in the Mortal World (Chapter 6)

Whips, Hazelnut Pumps and Green Brains

Cardan’s POV

I’ve been waiting at this tiny table for an eternity now, but the small clock on my hand says it’s only been 15 minutes. The door to this eatery keeps opening with a jingle of the bell on top but none of those who enter are my sweet villain. This establishment has a peculiar name ‘Starbucks’ however it displays neither stars nor buck horns as décor, nor some elusive creature named starbuck.

I finally decide that to entertain myself while I wait, I might as well treat myself to the delicacies of this eatery, which I’m starting to realise might be more of a tavern because the focus is on drinks rather than food. I join the line to order. The menu looks marvelously confusing, with delicacies I’ve never heard of (what creature’s meat is called a frappe?). The person ahead of me chants out at least 50 words, which the man behind the counter dutifully types into his screen (I heard him mention something about a whip, but I must be wrong, otherwise what sort of establishment has Jude brought me to?). It is then my turn and I mutter some of the words I heard the person say.

“Grande, no-whip, mocha...5 shots, with 2...of hazelnut, oat milk on top.” The man, Jake, as his tag reads, looks slightly confused but mercifully accepts the order. He asks for my name. I consider what purpose he has to know my identity and before I can ask him, I hear a name being shouted by another worker and realise the purpose for the name-asking. I give my name and pay him with some leaves I glamoured to look like the valuable green paper and take a seat.

My drink has been prepared and I bring it back to my tiny table. ‘Card On Green Brain’ the drink reads and I’d be outraged at how they have butchered my name but I find my mercy when I think about mortals and their miniscule intelligence. I take a sip, and immediately scrunch up my face. It tastes sweet when you expect bitter and bitter when you want sweet. It is a horrible, horrible drink but almost without my will, I keep sipping at it as I wait for Jude.

15 minutes later

Jude’s POV

I’m rushing through the streets because I’m a little late but with Cardan in the human world, even a minute is a chance for disaster. I burst into Starbucks, looking for my imbecile husband and find him sitting at a table looking suspiciously normal (for him). I approach and sit across from him trying to find some proof of whatever shenanigans he got up to without me there to help. The first thing I notice is that there are at least 8 cups on the table, all empty. Once I notice that, all the signs start showing themselves. His eyes are wide and shinier than usual, his usually elegantly stretched out legs are jingling beneath the table and he’s talking a mile a minute.

“-and then I decided to try another and another and I did not even like the taste at first, but then I suddenly started enjoying it. What is this white cloud on top of the drink? And also where are the pumps where they extract hazelnut syrup from? I think the pixies would love it. And why is this place called Starbucks, where are the bucks-”

“Okay! Okay, I’ll answer all the questions, could you just look straight into my eyes for a moment.”

He does and I almost lose myself in that intense stare as usual but then he starts blabbing again, “Your eyes are so beautiful, my darling god, my sweet villain, my WIFE-”

I put my hand on his mouth and wait for him to stop talking. I know I’m blushing but I ignore that and wait for him to calm down at least a little. Then I grab his hand and take him home because Cardan on a caffeine high feels like a dangerous thing to leave wild in the world.

We lie down on the bed, cuddling and he’s tapping a quick beat onto the back of my feet with his.

“Okay, you can ask me all the questions you’ve been hoarding up till now.”

He giggles gleefully and starts thinking so hard I’m worried he’ll break something. “Why does that tavern have such complicated drinks?”

And that is one question I have no answer to, which I tell him. He doesn’t even seem to care much for the answers, he just wants to ask questions. “Why do people have to clarify that they do not want a whip?”

That makes me laugh out loud, and I explain that it has to do with whipped cream not whips. He looks like a child, mouth forming an ‘o’ and eyebrows climbing to reach his hairline.

He asks questions and nods and nods and nods when I answer. And once when I can no longer resist the urge, I kiss the tip of his nose and he smiles so wide, it makes me blush.

Cardan’s POV

Jude falls asleep after sometime however my mind simply cannot simmer down. It races and races and I spend this gift of wakefulness to admire Jude when she’s asleep and at peace, one hand clutching his and the one crumpling his Wars of Star tunic. He kisses the top of her head and settles in for a long night of staying awake and refusing to move even one inch lest he wake Jude. It is the happiest, most delightful inconvenience he has ever experienced.

Next Chapter

Tagging @jurdanhell @nee-naw-nee-naw-beepbeep

Let me know if anyone wants to be added to the tagging list (or removed).

#jurdan #jude duarte #cardan greenbriar #jude cardan #jurdan headcanons #jurdan hc #Cardan in the mortal world! #tcp #the cruel prince #tfota #the folk of the air

[heaven-in-a-wild-flower]

Hard to Love

I do not lay claim to grand declarations of unlove-ability, or some special, unique defect in me that repels love. My insecurity could not possibly accommodate that kind of narcissism. I can name no one reason, it’d be a thousand or nothing, for why I feel this way. It is a combination of reason and feeling and can thus be thwarted by neither. It is not any particular kind of love I speak of; it is not born from rejections from lovers or scornful friends or punishing family, but it is not born purely from the recesses of my imagination either. It was an idea, a sapling that burst open in my mind and was then watered and nourished and cultivated by a thousand careless words and some careful ones, many from within and some from without. Hypocrisy restricts me from speaking of unlove-ability because if I can believe that everyone in the world deserves love, I cannot say that I do not, not even to myself.

I do not believe that I’m undeserving of love, because I am loved by an important few and it would diminish the value of their love, if I claim to be undeserving of it, and I would never, never taint their love with some weak insecurity. I don’t question the love others give me, because if I start questioning love what could I possibly ever believe in. And so, I believe in their love, the existence of it and even its strength. Its ability to withstand rain and storm and hold steadfast and unwavering in harsh sun and draining humidity. My only doubt lies in the process of how they came to love me. I do not understand it, it feels too vast and ineffable to ever understand and terrifying to even attempt it. To stand closely and peer one eye right into its depths feels too dangerous, a way of tempting fate into pulling one thread and making it all unravel. And so, I will leave it untouched, unexamined.

I do not think that I’m easy to love. It is a bold statement to make, I do not know if it will weather the attack of praise or heartfelt truths. It is a statement made not only from insecurity or a place of negativity however. Its seeds may have begun in darkness but they took light to grow and even if once in a while they are bathed in shadow, they seek the light eventually. I do not believe my innermost self, with its head-held-high selfishness and tight-muscle unwillingness to be vulnerable, is easy to love. I cannot tell if this is a healthy perspective or not, because it makes me so infinitely grateful for the love I have and it makes me so deathly afraid to lose it.

I do not believe I’m difficult to like. This is the veil behind which every insecurity hides, invisible to others. I can be charming and genuine and kind. I can be sassy and funny and sarcastic. I can be exciting and spontaneous and surprising. I can be quiet and calm and gentle. I can be all of these things, when I want to be, but they are not who I am, they do not always come easily. I can be the shoulder for you to cry on but I will move a mountain before I shed a single tear in front of you. I can help you with anything and everything, carry all your weight, but I will let blood-red creases and sore palms accumulate before I ever ask you to help with my bags. I can listen to you talk for hours and hours, replying only when you want me to, and telling you all the ways you’re loved and beautiful and wonderful, but the words about my pain feel like thorny vines travelling up my throat.

I know I am loved, but I can’t convince myself that it was easy or that it will be easy for people in the future. I’m working on it, working on all the things I am and do that hurt others and hurt me. The working is painful but it is a pain that feels like tearing off a scab before new skin can grow. I’m working, not on becoming more loveable, but on learning to love myself in a way that lets me tear down the gates around my heart and mind for others to step in more easily. I know there’s a garden in here that blooms (sometimes) and I will one day let everyone see it.

***

I've been so inactive on this app ever since college start and I feel so bad neglecting it but I'm back? Sort of? Anyway, I was in a writing mood and I randomly wrote this from the perspective of one of my own characters (not fully developed). So, I hope you enjoyed.

#writing #love #insecurity

[heaven-in-a-wild-flower]

HAPPY INTERNATIONAL ASEXUALITY DAY

Happy Ace day to all my fellow Acespecs

To the Asexuals, Demisexuals, Greysexuals

To the Aceflux’s and cupiosexuals, 

To the lithosexuals, fraysexuals

To all those on the ace spec that I haven’t listed 

To the sex favourable. the sex indifferent, the sex repulsed

To those who are acepec: arospec, hetero romantic, bi romantic, homo romantic, pan romantic 

To those still questioning or confused 

To all those who are apart of this community (sorry if I did not list above)

You are all valid and beautiful. 

Happy International Asexual Day 💜 🖤🤍

[heaven-in-a-wild-flower]

April 6th is international asexuality awareness day! The first IAD was celebrated in 2021 and I only found out about it the day after so this year I’m not going to miss it!

Take some time today to let any ace folks you know that you support them and are thinking about them today!

[heaven-in-a-wild-flower]

International Asexuality Day

I wanted to put down some great books with ace main characters or love interests, so enjoy!

Tash Hearts Tolstoy (by Kathryn Ormsbee) : Contemporary fiction, ace heteroromantic female main character. (MLW)

Blank Spaces (by Cass Lennox) : Contemporary fiction, ace homoromantic male main character (MLM)

What We Devour (by Linsey Miller) : Fantasy, ace heteroromantic female main character (MLW)

His Quiet Agent (by Ada Maria Soto) : Contemporary fiction (short story), ace male love interest (MLM)

Sea Foam and Silence (by S.L. Dove Cooper) Fantasy, ace female main character (WLW)

The Heartbreak Bakery (by A.P. Capetta) : Contemporary fiction, demisexual, genderfluid love interest and possible asexual and aromantic side character. (I've only mentioned the ace rep but this book has nearly every queer rep possible so please give it a shot) (NBLNB)

All For The Game series (by Nora Sakavic) : Contemporary fiction (but with mafia?), demisexual male main character. (MLM)

Rick (by Alex Gino) : Contemporary fiction, ace male main character (not a romance)

Upside Down (by N.R. Walker) : Contemporary fiction, ace male main character, ace male love interest. (MLM)

Perfect Rhythm (by Jae) : Contemporary fiction, ace female love interest (WLW)

Thaw (by Elyse Springer) : Contemporary fiction, ace female main character (WLW)

Hope you enjoy!

#asexuality #ace #aspec pride #aspec #ace books #ace representation #international asexuality day

[heaven-in-a-wild-flower]

International Asexuality Day!

To celebrate this wonderful day, I'd like to share this thing I wrote about how I experience intimacy as an ace person. Hope you enjoy!

10 Most Intimate Things To Me

Okay, so I know many allosexual (meaning: not asexual) people wonder what intimacy would look like without sex and/or sexual activities. Personally, I don't think I would enjoy making out or feeling people up, so I've made this list of the ten most intimate things to me. You can also use this list as a '10 things to try out with your significant other or closest friend or dearest family member' list. As usual, this may not be true for all aces, but I hope some will be relatable at least. Also, I'd like to clarify that the list is not a ranking. Anyway, now that that's queer, let's get into it.

Cuddling! Yes, I'm a cliche ace and I see cuddling as the peak intimate thing for people to do. Cuddling makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside and I think it simply doesn't require any other explanation.

Doing someone's nails. Okay, this might seem a bit weird to those who've never tried this, but it is so intimate and sweet. So I'll paint you a picture. You're holding their hand gently in your own and leaning close to them. You're fully focused on doing it perfectly and you're making your classic concentration face as you stare at their nails. They're watching you fondly, amused at how seriously you seem to be taking this, but simultaneously excited to see how it'll turn out. You look up every few minutes waiting for the earlier coat to dry and stare right into their face, smiling a little, seeing if they're enjoying this too. They smile back and giggle because now you're blowing air onto their nails to get it to dry faster. They start flapping their hands around to help and you laugh and laugh and laugh. Eventually, you get back to work. You're finally done and so excited to see what they think. They lift their hand close to their face and examine it. They smile and you smile because they love it and you loved doing it. Okay, see the appeal now? If yes, you could say I nailed that (pun always intended). If not, I suppose I need to polish my pun-game.

Talking late at night. Late at night, we're tired and sleepy and vulnerable (like me right now). It's so so special when you allow someone to see you so defenceless like that. If you're talking to them late at night, you're trusting them with all the things you wouldn't have the courage to say in the day, all the things your brain calls secret. It also feels like you're the only two people alive in the world at that time, because it's so quiet and dark outside. Plus, it's the best time to gossip and spill the tea (I've discussed my sexuali-tea on so many such nights).

Working side by side. Now, I'm sure you're highly skeptical about this one. How on Earth (or on any other liveable planet) would working side by side be intimate at all? I'll explain this one. (no unfortunately not with me transporting you to a simulation again). Firstly, I want to clarify that the "work" in this scenario need not be profession-related. It could be a hobby or something that you love to do and feel like calling it a "hobby' would be downgrading it (reading is mine. Oh books, my first love, but that's a story for another day). Anyway, back to the explanation. Okay, so when you can sit with someone and do completely separate things, to me, that shows that you're comfortable in silence. And not that you're comfortable in silence in general, but that you're comfortable in a silence with them. To me, that is saying, I could do nothing at all with you and I'd love it. I could do work next to you and I'd love it. I enjoy your presence so wholly that sometimes I need nothing else, not words, not a touch, just you. Although, I also want to clarify that this doesn't mean that you have to remain silent. You can talk, give some funny comments, you can even play music the whole time. Frankly, intimacy is like that blue-gold dress floating around on the internet; it looks different to everyone.

Surprises. Now, you might think that this is too obvious. That, yes, of course everyone enjoys surprises, whether they be gifts or parties. Now those are all wonderful sort of surprises, but I think this category also includes a thousand little surprises. It includes doing a chore for them that you know they don't like to do. It includes choosing an outfit for them when they have you go out and you know that they're indecisive and hate having to choose. Okay, I think I've expanded the meaning of the word surprise to include thoughtful gestures, but I do think they fit right in. Because what is a surprise? Something you didn't expect to happen, and that something turning out to be good. So yes, I think doing their bed when they're lazy, or fetching them their favourite flavour of chips even though you had to go a bit further to get it, are surprises and they are incredibly intimate because it tells you that they know you so well and that they simply love to make you happy (and they'll take even the smallest, tiniest shreds of happiness because from you, it's worth it).

You can check out the other 5 on my blog here

Anyway, happy international asexuality day to all the aces and aspecs and anyone else who wants to celebrate it!

#asexuality #ace #aspec pride #aspec positivity #international asexuality day #blog

[heaven-in-a-wild-flower]

Thank you @books-and-pumpkins for tagging me for this. Your cupcakes are a work of art. The first could be in a cooking show and the second makes you want to shove your face in and goggle it up.

I decided to use the ace colours for International asexual day!!

Tagging @an-absolute-nightmare @we-are-protagonists-of-the-world @hiraethcam @brokenpiecesofthesky @confused-as-all-hell

picrew chain!

so i found this adorable cupcake maker picrew and wanted to see yall’s designs. if you get tagged, post pictures of the cupcake(s) you made and then tag as many or as few people as you like.

https://picrew.me/image_maker/1435883

i made three:

all pink:

ace pride:

my blog theme:

no pressure tagging: @that-multi-fandom-mess @gay-otlc @countingthestarsaboveourheads @overlycaffeinatedsuperwholockfan @dawns-faevor and anyone else who wants to!

#cupcake #picrew #ace

[heaven-in-a-wild-flower]

@books-and-pumpkins Thank you for tagging me! Also your taste is immaculate *chef's kiss*

Last song: All too well (10 minute version)

Last show: Euphoria

Currently watching: Schitts Creek

Currently reading: To Sir, With love

Tagging @an-absolute-nightmare @we-are-protagonists-of-the-world @hiraethcam @brokenpiecesofthesky @confused-as-all-hell

Rules: Tag 9 people you would like to know/catch up with.

Tagged by: @the-girl-with-the-algebra-book Fun, thank you!

Last song: Nouveau Pouvoir by Corneille It’s a song about having the ability to love yourself and start fresh at any time, basically. I don’t listen to a lot of music in French but I love this.

Last TV show: I assume this means that I finished most recently? If so that would be… Mission Hill. Old cartoon my husband wanted to rewatch, but my first time seeing it. It was okay.

Currently watching: Under the Vines. I’m only on episode 4, so no spoilers plz. Liking it so far! Plus Deano is in it!

Currently reading: Theoretically I’m partway through The Hobbit and also on volume 12 of Ouran High School Host Club, though I haven’t read either in ages. I’m sadly not much a reader these days.

–

Tagging: @self-conscious-author @i-did-not-mean-to @acupnoodle @laurfilijames @midearthwritings @the-butterfly-blues @sketch-and-write-lover @hymngender @myselfandfantasy

#tag game #get to know you

[heaven-in-a-wild-flower]

@books-and-pumpkins Thank you so much for tagging me <3<3<3

1. Listen to your heart ~Roxette

2. I think I'm in love ~Kat Dahlia

3. Forgive me friend ~Smith and Thell

4. Grow as we go ~Ben Platt

5. Here's to us ~Halestorm

6. Soldier ~James TW

7. Give your heart a break ~Demi Lovato

8. 8 letters ~Why don't we

9. Empty Space ~James Arthur

10. A million dreams ~Ziv Zaifman etc.

Tagging @an-absolute-nightmare @we-are-protagonists-of-the-world @hiraethcam @brokenpiecesofthesky @confused-as-all-hell

Thanks @brekker-by-brekkerr for tagging me to do this! 💚

Rules: You can usually tell a lot about a person by the type of music they listen to. Put your On Repeat playlist on shuffle and list the first ten songs then tag a few folks. No skipping.

Red by Taylor Swift.

Blow Us All Away from Hamilton.

The Reynolds Pamphlet from Hamilton.

I Was Made For Lovin’ You by KISS.

Stay Alive (Reprise) from Hamilton.

One Way Or Another by Blondie.

Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story from Hamilton.

It’s Quiet Uptown from Hamilton.

King Of My Heart by Taylor Swift.

All Too Well by Taylor Swift.

These are so random but also quite predictable… 😂

No pressure tagging @thezegendofzelda, @fangirl-couch-potato, @fentasticallyconfuddled, @rejectofsociety and @redvanillabee!

#tag game #Spotify #music #playlists

[heaven-in-a-wild-flower]

Thank you @books-and-pumpkins, this was so cool!

So this is the most detailed picture of Mars ever taken, on a night when it was the brightest object in the Eastern sky.

Tagging @an-absolute-nightmare @brokenpiecesofthesky @xandertheshadow @we-are-protagonists-of-the-world @hiraethcam @hugs-and-wishes @mourningfictionalcharacters

Astronomy calendar game🌘

So I found this NASA “Astronomy Picture of The Day” Calendar

You’re searching for you birth date (year and month) ➡️see space pics ➡️ click on the pic that was taken on your birthDAY ➡️ see the explanation why this photo was taken and what are you looking at☀️

thats what I got (and my friend got a really nice pic with red stars😕) i wanna see yours

Keep reading

#tag game #space

[heaven-in-a-wild-flower]

[heaven-in-a-wild-flower]

Chapters: ¼ Fandom: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Ronan Lynch/Adam Parrish Characters: Ronan Lynch, Adam Parrish, Orphan Girl | Opal, Declan Lynch Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Fairy Tale, Kid Fic, Parenthood, Enemies to Lovers, Witchcraft Summary:

Ronan makes a deal with a witch.

It’s okay, though. He’ll never have to go through with his end of the bargain.

[heaven-in-a-wild-flower]

Introvert quotes

"A friend of your friend is your enemy."

~Me

#introvert #introverted #comedy #joke #relatable

[heaven-in-a-wild-flower]

My newest post is about me Rating Odd Names/Phrases for Sex that I dug up from the internet. It's hilarious and bizarre, hope you check it out!

Here's the link,

https://asaluxe.wixsite.com/website/post/rating-odd-names-for-sex

Hey guys I made a blog to write about my experiences as an asexual person (biromantic too). There's so little ace rep. that I decided I'd just take matters into my own hands. This'll will be light-hearted and serious at times. I'll write about anything you guys suggest too, so give me any suggestions if you have. Anyway, I hope you guys will check it out. (Also please reblog so others can find it). Also to clarify this blog can be read by anyone not just ace people.

This is the site

I'll tag all my followers, please don't be annoyed.

@we-are-protagonists-of-the-world

@geisofbullshit

@levi-ackerham

@mairithegayspider

@an-absolute-nightmare

@simpingforwillsolace

@chaos-in-a-glass-cage

@ahecktonoffandomsinoneblog

@hardshepherdduckbagel

@oopsimessedup09

@mazhaipilipiri

@caseopencaseshut

@i-am-become-a-clown

@spaceboyblog

@kingfrancis2021

@art3mis333

@encryptidbinary

@hiraethcam

@clcckwrkprincess

@crooked-knife

@ninas-waffles

@ad15124

@soullessbutsenile

@brokenpiecesofthesky

@h-mah

@blueberry-gh0st

@thatrandomfangirlll

@hugs-and-wishes

@confused-as-all-hell

@mourningfictionalcharacters

@aaronminyardthebettertwin

@tfotaandstuff

@xtinagroe

@ashiyaana

@liquidsunyeets

@trassellynn

@stxr-thxif

@sadboyayeron

@brainlessfruit

@thenakedreviewer

@book-dragon-not-worm

@painttheskywithcolour

@books-and-pumpkins

@that-one-enby-possum

@elevatorladylady

@aminolee

@investmentofmyheart

@love-rainbows

@bookavert

@silent-tears-and-words-unsaid

@deprivedmusicaljunkie

@thestarryeyedsapphic

@the-blackdale

@clockworknights

@jesse-is-spiralling

@shadowhunting-hooligans

@maybeacrowdedmind

@readwithlivvy

@jesper-faheys-guns

@pigboycomesfromthedirt

@wraithberrywine

@heirofthrnightcourt004

@andromedabutterflies

@knifewifelover

@that-one-sad-reader-bitch

@authortrash

@solvie

@gorgeous-herondale

@books-and-wonders

@plaguedoctorwriter

@otherpeoplesheartachept1

@morgandrew

@kaz-of-crows

@psych-iridescent

@agirlwhoeatscarrotss18

@fpmm

@cambaragiola

@ilaamma

@untitled64682

@jspducoupdjsp

@katdiangelo

@bellarkeiml

@carterwestisamazing

@janarashad

@mamastayfit

@draxhermes

@fighting-god-69

@lorrddh

@connectedimagine41

@celldoll39

@nomynamedoesnothaveay

@tiffany-frost

@carterwestisamazing

@bellarkeiml

@diaryofunwrittenwords

@katdiangelo

@justanormalboi

@adhey-kangal

#ace #asexual #biromantic #blog #queer #queer poc #asexual awareness #ace awareness